Do-It-Yourselfers -- 0:00 Last weekend I spent about an hour pulling my toilet up and fishing out my son's toothbrush from the trapway. (He didn't get in too much trouble. He was just trying to multi-task while getting ready for bed.) I never really considered calling a plumber. I knew I could get 'er done with a couple of tools, a wire coat hanger, and an adventurous spirit. It's a skill I picked up from the ultimate do-it-yourselfer: my dad.
This week, Steve and I talk with Lisa about what our dads taught us and how it's made us better men.
Art of Manliness -- 16:09 I've noticed several ladies comment on the blog this week that they've broken up with men because of poor hygiene. If only those poor guys had known about the Art of Manliness, a website dedicated to, well, the art of being a man. And apparently, good hygiene is part of the art of manliness.
Unfortunately, I know far too many grown men who still smell like reeking teens, and whether they know it or not, their odor problem is wreaking havoc on their personal relationships, their business prospects, and the respect people give them. Most of us are too polite to confront a man with an odor problem and some men live completely oblivious to the foul destruction they leave in their wake. We grow accustomed to our own scents and as putrid as they are, we cannot recognize them.Our nose filters out and ignores many background odors, such as the ones in our nasal passages.Some of us also have poor olfactory senses, so bad odors don’t bother us like they do others. Time to wake up and smell the B.O.!
Good stuff.
For this week's Culture segment, Lisa interviews the couple behind the popular Art of Manliness website, Brett and Kate McKay.
Leading a Man to Lead -- 37:34 I thought this was a perfect question to tackle this week. A girl writes that she's in a relationship with a guy who did a great job at initiating a relationship but doesn't really know where to go from there. Should she back off and let him find his way or take the lead on leading him to lead? Or something like that. Anyway, Candice and Lisa have the solution.
Holiday Hype -- 0:00 I'm starting to get a little anxious about all the things I need to do to get ready for the holiday season. And an anxious spirit is the antithesis of the kind you're supposed to have this time of year. So what are some steps we can take to minimize the distractions and maximize faith, family, and friends? Well, you can listen to this podcast for starters. This week, Lisa, Candice and Steve talk about being intentional as we approach Thanksgiving and Christmas.
The Screwtape Interview, Part 2 -- 15:32 Is C.S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters relevant for this generation? It's a question Lisa discusses with the producer and director of Focus on the Family Radio Theater's audio production of the Lewis classic. (Btw, I need to plug the audio bumpers again this week. I think you're really going to like them. Pay close attention to the times after the titles because that's exactly where you can begin the audio clips.)
Purity Ring Fakeout -- 31:52 When people see a ring on your ring finger, there's a chance they'll assume you're married. And if you don't have a ring on your ring finger, there's a chance people will assume you're not married. In this week's Inbox, Candice Watters addresses both issues and the consequences of being irresponsible ring wearers and non-wearers.
Dr. Dobson Leaving the Daily Broadcast -- 0:00 In this week's Roundtable, Lisa, Steve and I discuss Dr. Dobson's upcoming departure from the ministry he founded 32 years ago. Here's a portion of last week's press release announcing his decision:
Focus on the Family Founder and Chairman Emeritus James C. Dobson, Ph.D., will leave the ministry as its primary radio voice at the end of February, the ministry announced today.
Dr. Dobson's departure from the radio program and from official affiliation with the organization he founded in 1977 is just the "third chapter in a transition that began in 2003," when Dr. Dobson stepped down as Focus president, said Jim Daly, the ministry's president and CEO. It was a mutual decision between Dr. Dobson and the ministry's board of directors, which Dr. Dobson left in February of this year, Daly added.
This is a momentous occasion for Focus on the Family. But as Jim Daly said in the release, it "has never been about one man. That's why Dr. Dobson has always refused to have his name put on any building here. It's about doing the Lord's work in helping families."
The Screwtape Interview, Part 1 -- 9:05 I'm pretty much the only guy I know who hasn't read C.S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters. Just never got around to that it I guess. But now thanks to Focus on the Family Radio Theatre I can pop in the CD featuring Andy Serkis (Gollum, The Lord of the Rings) on my way to and from work. In this week's Culture segment, Lisa interviews producer Dave Arnold and director Paul McCusker for a behind the scenes look at the making of the Lewis classic, including spiritual attacks. As a special treat, we've included audio excerpts of the production between the segments. So don't skip the bumpers this week.
Help! Women Keep Rejecting Me -- 24:47 What's the flip side to complaints from women about lack of male initiation? That's right, men whose initiative is often met with rejection. What's a guy to do when he's out there laying his heart on the line but keeps getting rejected for seemingly no other reason than mere preference? Well, Steve and Lisa offer some encouragement and practical wisdom for these brave risk-takers.
Toys of Christmas Past -- 0:00 Lisa came up with the Roundtable topic this week while shopping for her nephew's 10th birthday party. Since it's coming on Christmas, she thought it'd be fun to share our favorite memories of toys growing up and how much they've changed over the years. My absolute favorite toy growing up was the G.I. Joe action figure. You know, the big 11-inch ones from the 70's with 21 moving parts, not the little 3-inch lame ones from the 80's. Yeah, I had the footlocker with camouflage, weapons and communication tools like walkie-talkies and field phones. Good times.
Bob the Tomato, Part 2 -- 16:42 Part 1 of our interview with Phil Vischer was a real cliff hanger. In case you missed it, listen here. And then listen to the conclusion this week about what happens when someone with a big vision has big success, then everything falls apart ... and then has another big vision.
My Boyfriend Says He Doesn't Want Children When He Gets Married -- 33:55 This isn't a gender thing. I'm sure there are men out there who've faced this difficult situation. Everything seems to be going well in your dating relationship until you begin having deeper conversations and he or she drops a bomb like this. So what to do? Well, as you could have guessed, Candice Watters and Lisa Anderson have something to say about it.
By the way, loved the Rush of Fools bumper music this week. I think you will too.
Road Rage -- 0:00 What happens to people when they get behind the wheel of a car? It seems the slightest inconvenience can turn the nicest person into Bilbo Baggins from that scene in Lord of Rings when he sees the ring around Frodo's neck. I don't know about you, but it describes me perfectly. Right down to the shame he feels when he comes to his senses. Well, in this week's Roundtable, we share our ungracious failings in the car and try to get to the bottom of this phenomenon.
Bob the Tomato -- 17:25 The co-creator of Veggie Tales (and voice of Bob the Tomato), Phil Vischer, visited Focus on the Family last week and we got a chance to interview him about his rise and fall and rise again story. In part one of this two part series, Phil shares how he envisioned himself as the Christian Walt Disney and how that was different than what God had planned for him.
Friends Don't Ask Friends Out to Dinner -- 32:55 I'm going to share a tip for all the single guys out there that may ruin the surprise ending (not really) to this Inbox segment from Candice Watters: Do not ask a girl out to dinner unless you're interested in pursuing her as a potential spouse. Period. If you need companionship, get together with your buddies. If you need to eat, stop by McDonald's on the way home from work.
Note: And please guys, if you're thinking about writing to complain that we're bashing men again, don't. These are the Inbox questions we get. If you have some questions of your own about the mysteries of the fairer sex, we'll be happy to answer those as well.
Hey everyone! There is so much to talk about this week it is making me crazy. It's also making me want to type something random, like fasjkl;treaxitoa!trjekalow3rio34.
That said, in addition to my spiritual gift of rebuking, I also have the gift of telling people what to do. So I'm gonna tell you what to do. Right now. SEND THE LINK TO THIS PODCAST TO 10 OF YOUR FRIENDS AND TELL THEM TO SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES.
Sorry for shouting at you, but this is important. The Boundless Show has almost cracked the Top 50 Christian podcasts on iTunes. We think this is due to Candice's presence on Focus on the Family this week as well as a bunch of people signing up in the wake of the Catalyst conference. But this is not enough. We need to get into the Top 25! We need to do this 1) because it would be awesome, 2) so more young adults can hear our rockin' content, and 3) so the Boundless team can make millions and buy a bunch of houses, cars and Webkinz.
Ok, forget #3. But the first two reasons are reason enough. DO IT. And post an iTunes review while you're at it, so we can reach at least 100 reviews before the Lord returns. Bless.
While I'm telling you what to do, please also do the following:
Tell someone about Jesus
Get married
Join a local church
Agree with me that the Black Eyed Peas' "Fill up my cup (DRANK!) ... mazel tov! (L'CHAIM!)" is the dumbest lyric in music right now
On to the show:
Catalyst Report -- 00:00
As you know from my previous post, I was at Catalyst 2009 in Atlanta last week. Catalyst is a conference for young leaders. I manned the Boundless booth and told people straight up to get their bitnit together. The response was positive (after the initial blank stare followed by closely-reined-in hostility). I introduced a ton of people to Boundless, most of whom had never heard of us (see opening paragraphs, above). I also met Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-Fil-A and all-around cutest man alive, as well as his son, Bubba. I ate some chicken. My visit with them rocked. As we open our show this week, Motte and I talk about Catalyst, Motte's questionable temperament, Chick-Fil-A and other things that are just random enough to merit being on the show.
Kickin' It With KJ-52 -- 10:27
You know I like me some Gaithers. I also like me some hip-hop. This week I had the chance to live out the latter as KJ-52 (that's K-J-five-two) visited our studio and dropped some rhymes. He cracked me up like never before. I often crack myself up, but it's rare that someone else causes me to chortle and slap my knee. I did both this week. KJ does rap and hip-hop without the f-bombs, cop killings and misogyny found in much of the mainstream genre. But he still has the caps and shades, and let me hang with him as he freestyled for us in true street spirit:
Multiple Attraction Disorder -- 41:40
Is it wrong for a guy to be attracted to other women when he's dating or married? We know guys notice women, so what should they do (short of gouging their eyes out) when someone else captures their attention? And what if it's not just physical, but a harder-to-detect-and-treat attraction to someone's character and personality? Motte brings his thoughts (and both his eyes ... phew) to the discussion.
Start building your tell-a-friend lists. Now. I'm serious. Hello, why are you still reading this?...........
Please don't be offended by all the coughing and wheezing on this week's podcast. All of us but Lisa were recovering from the H1N1 virus. Well maybe not all of us. Mainly Steve. But I was getting over of some vile sickness that took me down for about three weeks. It should just go to prove how dedicated we are to provide quality content for our dozens of listeners.
Did I say dozens? Yes I did. It's my way of expressing our desire to expand our outreach; and my way of asking you devoted fans to send the show to at least 10 of your friends. That is, of course, if you think they'd benefit from it. Or just enjoy Lisa using words like "Blazacious."
Do You Appreciate Your Pastor? -- 00:00 I do. But I don't express that appreciation nearly enough. Steve, a pastor's kid himself, can attest to the fact that being a pastor can be a thankless job. It's funny how easy it is to remember to critique or request but how hard it is to actually show how thankful we are. So this Clergy Appreciation Month (which is October BTW), show them you care. And if you'd like to know more about it, check out Focus on the Family's The Parsonage.
Emerging Adulthood with Kay Hymowitz -- 12:16 Kay Hymowitz is a fellow at the Manhattan Institute and contributing editor of City Journal. She's the author of Marriage and Caste in America which, in part, is about the societal breakdown that has happened because of the separation of marriage and child-rearing. In this week's culture segment, we have the privilege of talking with Kay about another modern cultural phenomenon, emerging adulthood or pre-adulthood as Kay like to call it.
How Far Should Women Go to Look Good? -- 34:16 Thomas Jeffries wrote a blog for Boundless a few weeks ago saying that men prefer women with long hair. It generated about 300 comments ... and this week's Inbox question. What if it's not easy for some women to grow their hair out? And how far should women go anyway to appease what could be considered some fickle preferences from guys? Lisa and Candice cut to the chase and tell young ladies exactly what they should do.
Does Jesus Need PR? -- 00:00 Last Sunday Brian and I stopped to chat with our neighbor. He asked what we'd been up to and we answered that we'd been to church. He said that he used to go to church but doesn't anymore. I casually invited him to come with us sometime. He's an artist, so I also mentioned that he would probably like our church because they're starting to incorporate more of the arts.
As soon as I said it I knew that I was doing it again. I was trying to make church and therefore Jesus look cool and somehow better. Why on earth would I need to make Jesus look better? He's the sinless Son of Almighty God. Does it get any better?
So for this week's roundtable segment, Steve, Candice, Motte, Lisa and I are exploring the question, "Does Jesus need PR?"
Biblical Divorce and Remarriage Part 2 -- 19:21 As Lisa would say, I was blazed away by the listener feedback on part 1 of Biblical Divorce and Remarriage. I never get that many comments on my posts, so I know it was Dr. Aqulia and not my well-constructed prose that solicited your response. Get your comments ready because part 2 is here!
Too Self-Sufficient? -- 32:00 "I recognize how important it is for a man to feel needed by the significant woman in his life," began her question, "and that it is important for a girl not to be so self-sufficient that he feels he has nothing to offer." She continued, "I would really appreciate some practical advice about how this should look. I desire to get married and don't want to scare any good man away by being perceived as an 'ice queen.'"
In this week's inbox Candice and Lisa give this listener the practical how-to advice she's looking for to avoid "ice queen" status.
To Retreat or Advance? -- 00:00 I'm a homebody. I like a night out with the girls or a ladies day at church, but an overnight retreat is not my idea of a good time. Maybe I met my lifetime retreat quota in youth group. I went on every weekend discipleship time and summer camp my church hosted. I lived for those times away with my friends and with the Lord. That was also a season of my life before I'd learned the discipline of daily "retreat."
And even though I have become consistent in the discipline of meeting/retreating with God in the mornings, I cycle through times of retreating out of duty and times of retreating for the purpose of communion and renewal. Retreating with the right purpose is essential because our souls do not reset or renew themselves the way our bodies do.
I recently had a series of mornings where I woke up just as troubled about a problem as I was when I went to sleep the night before. I had told myself as I climbed into bed that all I needed was a good night's rest. Apparently you can't just sleep off your problems the way you can fatigue. John Piper says it well:
The human heart does not replenish itself with sleep. The body does, but not the heart ... we replenish our hearts not with sleep, but with the Word of God and prayer.
This week on the roundtable Motte, Lisa, Steve and I talk about retreats. Some of us love them and some of us hate don't like them as much. We want to know what you think makes a great retreat.
Biblical Divorce and Remarriage -- 15:56 Some of our readers have expressed confusion and apprehension about dating someone who's divorced. How do you know if their divorce was biblical and if they're free to remarry? Some of our readers are divorced and wondering how to proceed in the dating scene. Dr. Dominic Aquila from New Geneva Theological Seminary joins Lisa to explain what God's Word has to say about divorce and remarriage. Stay tuned next week for this two-part interview.
Destined to Become a Nag? -- 33:10 They agree on most things pertaining to raising a family and ministry but when it comes to heath and finances she's worried they're too different. If she marries him will she become the nagging wife she never wanted to be? Candice addresses her concerns about the guy but also points this listener toward her own growth area: pride.
TV's New Season -- 00:00 This week Motte, Steve, Lisa and I are talking about the Fall TV season. I might have mentioned before that I don't own a TV. I don't think this makes me more intelligent or more spiritual than you. I don't have a TV in my apartment for the same reason I don't keep ice cream in the fridge: lack of self-control.
I know that when I'm bored or lonely I gravitate toward things that are easy and will let me shut my brain off. Usually food or television. And that kind of eating or watching leaves me feeling guilty and gross.
I still watch movies and TV reruns on my laptop but it's more intentional than how I used to watch TV. My laptop screen isn't very big and the speakers are hard to hear over the air-conditioning unit. There are other drawbacks like limited episode selection on websites such as Hulu and not being able to have groups over to watch season premieres (only two people can reasonably watch a computer screen) but it's a worthwhile tradeoff for me.
Another alternative that seems to work is what Motte and Steve do. Their TVs are not located in the main living area of their homes. So like me, they have to be intentional about watching TV since their TV isn't in the space where they do most of their living. Are there other ways you've found to keep TV in your life but keep your life from being oriented around it?
George W. -- 17:20 The foremost George W. Bush impersonator John Morgan joins Lisa for this week's culture segment. In his 20s he had a music ministry and a dream of being a musical evangelist. He says he had to lay that dream down because at the time he didn't have the character needed for such a dream. I've replayed that short statement over and over this morning. Maybe this is really profound to me because I'm simple-minded, but I've been humbled thinking about my youth and inexperience and how much I need God to develop my character.
You probably think an interview with a presidential impersonator will be politically charged; it's charged all right, but with John's love for the gospel of Christ. Whatever your feelings on W., you will not want to miss this week's culture!
Intentional E-mail -- 45:40 I get e-mails from time to time asking us to address the long-distance dynamic. This listener is a missionary overseas. She's e-mailing back and forth with a man her friend says is perfect for her. It will be a year until she comes back home and wants to know how she should proceed with this e-mail thread in the meantime. Candice and Lisa dish out some encouragements and cautions.
Woe is my Car -- 00:00 I've never had a flat tire, never changed my own oil and to be honest these days I don't even fill up my own gas tank. I like that my car gets me to church on Sunday, work on Tuesday, and the grocery store when we run out of coffee beans but beyond insert key, turn, drive I know nothing about how my car works.
So Tuesday when I had smoking, oil smelling car issues I had no idea what do ... except for cry. After a teary moment I summoned my inner mechanic, walked across the street to the car parts store and asked for an oil cap and a gallon of synthetic oil and returned to perform my first ever act of car maintenance. Apparently, I'm a natural with a grease rag because I didn't get a single smudge on my Ann Taylor clearance rack dress.
This week Motte, Lisa, Steve, and I are joined by Boundless listener Emma to talk about our car woes. You might remember Emma from her WAY a while back. It was a blast to have one of our New Zealand listeners in the studio with us. If you're ever passing through, let us know. We'd love to see you too!
Phil Stacey -- 16:11 American Idol contestant and singer song-writer Phil Stacey talks to Lisa about his American Idol experience, his new album and the Lordship of Christ in his life. He shares some interesting insider info about American Idol that you won't want to miss.
Spiritual Leadership in Dating -- 38:58
In a dating relationship, what does spiritual leadership look like? I know it can't be as simple as leading one devotion a week or praying before meals. Can you judge the quality of the man's spiritual leadership based on the woman's spiritual growth? If the man is a good spiritual leader, whatever that means, then the woman should grow accordingly, right?
Motte and Steve help our listener figure out what it means to lead spiritually in a dating relationship for this week's inbox.
Reel Discernment -- 00:00 We've all been there. Sitting in a popcorn-coated seat wondering why we paid ten bucks to see a lame movie. Before I knew that there was such a thing as an online movie review I went on a blind date to see SAW.
There I sat in the fetal position beside my thoughtless date with my hands simultaneously covering my eyes and ears. (Let me pause to say something to other well meaning but thoughtless men out there. Do not, I repeat DO NOT take a girl to see a horror film on a first date. Unless she has an affinity for chainsaw massacres it will probably be not only the first but also the last time you have the pleasure of her company.) That was certainly the case for me and what's-his-name. I could not remember that guy's name for all the buttered popcorn in the world but I will never get the images of the first SAW film out of my mind.
Since Boundless exists to help singles be intentional we've been working on a new movie review to make being intentional about media choices a little easier. You might remember us talking about it when we ran a poll for the name a little while back. Reel Discernmentis finally here and on this week's roundtable Steve and Motte are going to tell you what you can expect from this new feature.
Why We Love The Church -- 14:18 Kevin DeYoung is a pastor, a bloggerand a book writin' fool. Every time I turnaround we're interviewing him about a new book. But I'm not complaining because I think Kevin's got some good stuff to say. Kevin joins us this week to talk about his most recent book Why We Love the Church. Lisa brings the interview to a head by asking what the church can provide for believers that they can't get from online resources, books, working for a Christian ministry or small groups.
Disrupting the Group Dynamic -- 37:21 There's a woman in his singles group that he's got his eye on. He's observed her in group settings, thinks she has some really attractive qualities and would like to make his feelings known. But he's afraid of interrupting the group dynamic. He's also not sure if it's time to move from the stage of observing to pursuing a relationship. Motte and Lisa answer these questions and more in this week's inbox.
(As a side note, I had to edit this question for length and I think this guy's intentions might have come off a little less honorable due to some of my changes which I did not realize at the time. So let me say that I believe he wanted to speak as kindly and respectfully of this woman as possible. Some things really do get lost in translation.)
Gittin' In Yo Bitnit -- 00:00
When was the last time you were confronted about your sin? When was the last time you confronted someone else about an area of sin in their life? I'll admit that when someone begins a sentence that even sounds like it could be rebuke-ish I start backing up and say in a frantic voice, "Please don't rebuke me. I can't handle it right now." I know. I know. I'm just as ashamed as you think I should be. I fear open rebuke even though Proverbs tells us that open rebuke is a good thing.
After I act like an infant about being possibly rebuked I do some self-talk, "Rebuke is good. This person who is about to possibly rebuke me (usually my husband Brian) loves me and wants to help me grow." Sometimes I am getting rebuked and it ends well with me being more aware of my need for Christ. Most of the time it's just Brian wanting to talk about what's for dinner.
This week on the roundtable Steve, Candice, Motte, Lisa and I talk about confronting sin. When should you confront someone? How should you do it? And who should you confront? Lisa has a lot to say since her spiritual gift is "gittin' in yo bitnit."
Rush of Fools -- 15:32
Let me preface this segment by saying that this is not your typical CCM artist interview. The guys from Rush of Fools would rather talk about theology than their music. (I'm not trying to imply anything about other CCM artists. I'm just sayin'.) You'll see what I mean in this clip from the interview.
Blessing Your Newly Married Friends -- 38:23
As a newlywed, I was so blessed by this listener's question.
This summer many of my close friends have gotten married or engaged, and I find myself needing to shift from loving my friends as individuals to loving them and their new husbands as a couple. I really want to be an advocate for their marriages and continue to invest in them.
The ways that I used to love on my friends (such as affirming notes, gifts, physical affection, large chunks of time spent talking and helping out with menial tasks) now seem sort of inappropriate and less valued since they now have "real" lovers to attend to those things.
How do I go about pursuing their friendship and blessing them in a way that doesn't infringe upon their spousal relationship?
Like I said, I was truly blessed by her perspective. I've been the single friend wondering where my newly married friends have gone and now I'm the one who seems to have disappeared. Listen to this week's inbox to see how Candice and Lisa answered this question.
This is my first podcast since being back from my sabbatical and I have to say that taping the Boundless show is a great way to get back into the swing of things. During the roundtable segment I shared about my awesome honeymoon to Charleston, South Carolina.
The best thing about Charleston is their food. Seriously, these people know how to cook. Most of the restaurants where we dined were part of the slow food movement.
The owners of the B&B where we stayed kept mentioning "slow food." I wasn't really sure what they meant by slow food and rather than just asking I made up a nice little definition in my head that seemed right, which you will hear me reluctantly share on the roundtable.
Today as I'm listening to the podcast I feel bad that I a) had no idea what I was talking about and b) that I could be spreading a possibly false definition to all of our listeners. Here is the real definition (a very vague definition, mind you) that I found on the official Slow Food USA website:
Slow Food is an idea, a way of living and a way of eating. It is a global grassroots movement with thousands of members around the world that link the pleasure of food with a commitment to community and the environment.
I don't feel so bad anymore. It doesn't seem like they know what slow food is either. Lot of poetic sounding language, not a lot of clarity.
I Know What You Did This Summer -- 00:00
Lisa, Steve, Suzanne and I share the highlights of our summer. In case you were itching to know what the Boundless team has been doing the last few months, you're in luck. If not, listen anyway; Lisa is hilarious as usual.
John Waller -- 15:17 John Waller tells Lisa about how his song, "While I'm Waiting," came to be featured in the movie Fireproof. If you've ever waited on the Lord, you will no doubt resonate with this song. I've been listening to the rest of John's album the past few days and I've been struck by the amount of Scripture weaved through his lyrics.
Suzanne's Double Standard -- 31:54
We've read Suzanne's story and some of us are probably tempted to think that meeting a barista who has matching jewelry and matching life goals is a little Meg Ryan-ish. This listener wants to know how Suzanne's seemingly storybook romance can mesh with the Boundless message of intentionality. Suzanne's answer is one you won't want to miss!
OK, we're going to try to give away some CDs from legendary Third Day frontman Mac Powell this week. But you sort of have to be a Boundless podcast fan to win because it's about helping us come up with topics for our Rountable segment. So no repeats. Simply leave an original idea in the comments section and we'll pick our five favorites to discuss in upcoming podcasts. The five we pick will be the ones who win Glory Revealed II: The Word of God in Worship.
Clear enough? Good.
I want to end this week's intro by plugging the bumper music from Nevertheless ... great stuff. I found myself scrolling back to the in-between parts just to listen again to their music. I guess I should just go pay for the download.
What's God Teaching You?
There really is nothing I enjoy more than hearing someone share what God is doing in their life. It's always encouraging to witness the Holy Spirit moving in the lives of believers. And there's usually a lesson to be learned by the hearer as well. This week it seems God is showing Lisa, Steve and Ted how important being in community is.
Third Day's Mac Powell -- 13:38 Glory Revealed II: The Word of God in Worship features 21 different artists including Mac Powell, Laura Story, Shane & Shane, Sara Evans and Brandon Heath (whom we have on the show). In this week's Culture segment, Lisa interviews Mac and Laura about the how and why Glory Revealed II came about. And you hear our first-ever Boundless podcast in-studio performance of the lead track, "How Great."
So What if She Has a Boyfriend -- 33:50
This happens a lot. It happened to me. It happened to Steve. And it's happening right now to a guy named Josh. The "it" I'm referring to is liking a girl who has a boyfriend. What to do? Lay his cards on the table and risk it all? Or respectfully distance himself from her to see if her "boyfriend" works out? Listen in to find out.
I'm pretty tense right now. And I'm not a person who gets tense. I fly to Minnesota this evening to visit my family for a week. So last night I was packing, trying to decide what to bring for a visit that includes a wedding reception, a fill-in stint on a worship team, a trip to Minneapolis and a lot of just plain bumming around. All the while hoping to pack things that are clean, coordinated and, in the wake of several trips to Cold Stone Creamery, not too tight.
This morning was filled with last-minute details in preparation to be out of the office until next Tuesday. We've got a couple of big events at Focus this weekend about which we're alerting the media. I have voicemails and emails to return. I'm prepping for an interview on The Christian Worldview in the morning (I'll be talking about the CT article...listen in!). And I'm interviewing CCM artist Sarah Reeves in less than an hour. Then it's off to the airport to fly to small-town Minnesota.
Needless to say, writing about this week's podcast right now is a great irony. Because this week's culture segment is about listening to Jesus, and making time to do so. Today, in my frazzled state, my quiet time consisted of reading a Scripture verse on a mug in the Focus on the Family bookstore as I was buying two books for my newly-married niece. Sad. Hopefully I'll take time on the plane to do some reading and praying. And perhaps listen to the following:
Girl's Guide Is Here! (squeal!) -- 00:00 Steve, Candace and I gather 'round the table this week to discuss the recently-releasedA Girl's Guide to Marrying Well, a compilation of the best Boundless has to offer for the ladies in getting to marriage in a God-honoring way. After only about a week, the Girl's Guide already has over 5,000 downloads. Go get 'em, girls! (Oops, I mean let them get you, in keeping with our support of men leading and being intentional...)
Deliberate People -- 16:41 Former Newsboy Phil Joel took a break from the high-profile world of concert and touring madness to focus on his family (hey!) and reprioritize his life....with God first. We all talk about doing stuff like this, but what does it look like to actually put your dreams and success on the line and trust God with the outcome? Phil and his wife, Heather, join me in the studio to talk about how God showed up and gave them a new vision for their family and their ministry. And because I can't help but get personal, we also talk hair products.
Mama's Boy -- 51:30 A woman worries that her fiance's ties to his mom, although in some ways understandable, will affect their marriage negatively. He's a bit "too close," and even during the engagement, strife is surfacing. Candace offers her solid wisdom for keeping the boundaries, the peace, and, amazingly, the relationships.
It's the second half of our Artist Roundup series, and you are in for a treat. Because believe it or not, you'll hear me interview...wait...here it comes...you'll be amazed...
It's true. I think he merits an entire show by himself, but Motte disagrees. Lame. So as the next best thing, My Man Bill is sharing the spotlight with Molly Jenson, a new artist from Southern California who is laid-back, fun and writes cool music like her current album, Maybe Tomorrow. Also in on the interview is Mark Joseph. He runs the label that houses Molly's music, but has his fingers all over the entertainment industry. I chat with them about indie music, the over-marketization (is that a word?) of all things Christian, and how to stay in the entertainment biz with your integrity intact. Oh, and we talk about lyrics, including my fave lyric from Sixpence None the Richer.
Then it's on to Bill. There's nothing really for me to say here, because I rhapsodize about him at length on the show itself. But you should know that in addition to his featured music this week (no, Bekah, it's not the entire song in each clip, the Gaither Vocal Band just has long songs), my interview with him is worth a listen. He talks about the legacy of Gospel music, what God has taught him in the past 70+ years, and what he hopes to see in and from our generation. He also assures me that, contrary to popular belief, I'm not a crazy stalker, but in fact his new BFF. Whew.
So for at least this week, give Southern Gospel a chance. And get a good dose of Molly, too. This is musical diversity at its best! But that's what we're about at The Boundless Show. It's all for you. (And maybe just a little bit for me.)
Camp -- 00:00
For this week's roundtable a few camp counselors (including former Boundless blogger Denise Morris) sit down with Lisa to talk about their summer experiences.
Sitting in the studio listening to their camp stories, I thought about my youth leaders who took their summer vacation to spend a week with a bunch of middle schoolers when they probably could have been lying on the beach with their families. I'm really thankful for the choice they made. Those weeks and the adults who chose to spend them with me have truly shaped the person I am today.
Marrying Young -- 21:06 Mark Regnerus, author of Forbidden Fruit, joins Lisa via phone to talk about marrying young. His Washington Post article inspired our roundtable for episode 68, so we were thrilled to snag him for a culture segment.
Thinking About Sex -- 46:30
She's single and never really dated or given too much thought to sex. But lately she's been pondering her wedding night. All right, let's just say it -- she's been fantasizing about her wedding night. But she's not thinking about any certain person, so are her thoughts considered lustful?
OK, ladies, for all of you who didn't have the guts to ask the question this listener did, pay attention because Candice is rolling up her sleeves for this one. You might want to have your Bible handy because she goes straight to Scripture.
Here's a big thanks to Leeland for the awesome tunes this week!
I'm a week away from a month-long sabbatical. During that month I'm going to fly to Tennessee, finish planning my wedding, get married, honeymoon, move into a new apartment (which I've never seen), move to a new town (where I've never spent more than a day), and hopefully unplug a little.
Brian and I have vowed to not take our laptops on our honeymoon and to only check our voicemail twice at pre-appointed times (just in case there's an emergency). I can't wait! I love to unplug. And this may very well be the only time in my life where people will understand when I don't return their calls, reply to their e-mails, or publish their comments ;)
Unplugging -- 00:00
So you can imagine how excited I was when Motte told me that we were talking about using technology on vacation for this week's roundtable. Lisa, Steve, Motte and I wrestle with controlling our technology rather than letting it control us. To what extent is technology helpful on vacation? When does it rob our experience of rest and fellowship?
Doing More Hard Things -- 19:05
Lisa sits down with Brett and Alex to get an update on their lives. A lot has happened since they were in the studio last. They just finished their first year at Patrick Henry College, The Rebelution is still going strong, and one of them (listen to find out which) has an announcement similar to Suzanne's. Our conversation with Alex and Brett was a lot of fun and, uh, timely, as you can see in the video below.
What if Dad Says Wait?
He sees their relationship moving toward marriage -- and soon. But her dad sees things a little differently. "There's plenty of time. No need to rush things," he says. What do you do when her parents are on a different time-line? Steve weighs in for this week's inbox.
The Honeymooners -- 00:00 The Boundless team is pleased to announce Mr. and Mrs. Matt Tucker! Matt and Karen dropped by on their honeymoon. That, my friends, is dedication. Lisa, Steve, and I talk to the Tuckers about meeting online, long-distance dating, intentionality, and the maple goodies they brought us all the way from Nova Scotia.
Secondhand Jesus -- 28:49 Glenn Packiam is back in the studio to talk about his book Secondhand Jesus. Glenn says that often times we rely on the "experts" to give us the cliff's notes version of their journey with God instead of walking with Him ourselves. He brings us back to a middle ground of using "well worn paths but engaging them for ourselves." Shift Work Struggles -- 46:03 She works the night shift and it makes her feel disconnected from her family, friends, and church. What's worse is that the schedule is really draining and she snaps at the people she loves. Candice sympathizes with her sleep deprivation and feeling disconnected but reminds her that there's no excuse for unkind behavior -- even if you do have a terrible schedule.
Thanks to Anna Gilbert our featured musical artist. I've enjoyed listening to her music today. I think you will too.
Episode 75. Doesn't that sound noteworthy? I feel like we should have a toast or something. The thought of giving a toast makes me kind of nervous though. So scratch that. Maybe Lisa will post a toast-ish type comment. I bet she gives great toasts.
Take A Hike -- 00:00 Steve, Suzanne, Motte and I talk trails this week. Motte (a non-hiker) wants to know what makes for a good hike, what gear is essential, and why anyone would want to leave the comfort of their kitchen table and Wall Street Journal.
I should have corrected Motte during this segment. He referred to Steve and me as "avid" hikers. I wouldn't call myself avid. I like hiking. I've been known to spend a few days on the trail but I'm not the person you want to get lost in the woods with that's for sure (mostly because I have a flair for the dramatic and I tend to overreact a bit).
Case in point, there was this one time on the Appalachian Trial where I developed mild hypothermia from being rained on for three days and not eating because my hands were too numb to get into my pack. If I had been the guide, I would have sat down in the trail and cried myself to a cold hungry death. Fortunately, I was not the guide and I lived to tell about it.
Sex and the Soul -- 18:38 Donna Freitas, professor of Religion at Boston University, joins Lisa to talk about "juggling sexuality, spirituality, romance and religion" on today's college campuses. Donna's book Sex and the Soul draws on her countless interviews with students about the hook-up culture of America's college campuses. She says students at secular universities want out of the hook-up scene and students at religious universities want an open dialogue about sexuality.
Long Term Incompatibility -- 41:38 It's been three years and he still doesn't know if she's the one. They're really different. She'sa dreamer and he's Mr. Practical. He isn't ready to marry any time soon and she's always wanted to marry young. Does she cut her losses and look for someone more marriage-minded or does she wait on him to make up his mind? Steve, Suzanne and Motte weigh in.
And before I sign off, thanks to Silent Substitute for their musical contribution to this week's podcast. You'll be hearing a couple tunes from their EP Do Make Room.
You're How Old? -- 00:00 Age differences. You've readaboutit on the blog and now we're bringing it to the roundtable. Ted and Suzanne brought in their "others" Ashleigh and Kevin to talk about their age difference experience. If you're wondering how to deal with an age gap, these two couples have a great perspective so listen in.
Jeff Caylor -- 27:07 For this week's culture segment we have our good friend Jeff Caylor on the line from Hong Kong to talk about his new album What Birds Dream, his upcoming nuptials and Michael Jackson cover songs. Jeff is not only our culture guest but also our featured musical artist.
He Likes me, He Likes me Not -- 47:17 He texts, he flirts, he asks her to coffee and then ... nothing. You know that story, the one with the guy who acts like he likes the girl but then for some unknown reason he stops talking to her. Apparently this guy can't make up his mind and she wants to know what to do about it. Does she call him out? Can they still be friends? Suzanne and Lisa give some been-there-done-that advice.
Ted brought his Flip videocamera to the studio this week, catching us as we prepared for the recording. Check it out:
Ashley had to fly to Virginia for bridesmaid duty and Lisa is in some sort of media spokesperson training so the podcast blog is up to me today. Which stinks because I had absolutely nothing to contribute to this week's roundtable on being a good groomsman or bridesmaid. But don't let that dissuade you from listening because the other three slayed the segment, especially Lisa who sent me this email when we landed on the topic:
"How to be a good bridesmaid = put your life on hold, empty your bank account and act like a slave."
She backs up that sentiment with a couple of stories from her bridesmaid experiences.
Improving the Wedding Party -- 00:00 I've been a groomsman four times in my life. But it was the groomsmen at my own wedding who taught me what being a good groomsman really means. And it's more than just escorting mothers and lighting candles. One in particular, my father, prevented a AFV type moment with a simple wink.
Dr. Mohler's New Book -- 21:50 Simply put, Dr. Albert Mohler is da bom. This week he joins us by phone to discuss his new book The Disappearance of God: Dangerous Beliefs in the New Spiritual Openness. Here Dr. Mohler talks about the disappearance of hellfire and brimstone preaching and church discipline. And, as a bonus, Dr. Mohler shares his reaction to the murder of late-term abortionist George Tiller.
Why Try? -- 39:51 You won't want to miss this week's question from a young woman who feels called to singleness and asks if she needs to wear make-up or otherwise make herself beautiful. Candice Watters tackles this one from a perspective of stewardship. To find out how, listen now.
Finally, I want to thank independent artist Zach Dodd for providing this week's music from his cd Children Without Names. I've enjoyed listening to it all week and think it's a great enhancement to the show.
Jeff Caylor is our featured musical artist this week. He's a favorite of the Boundless Show. If you're not familiar with Jeff's music go back and read the twitterview we did with him last month about his new album What Birds Dream.
Tweet Tweet -- 00:00 Boundless is on twitter. We've blogged about it and shamelessly asked you to follow us. This week Lisa, Motte, Steve, and I discuss the pros and cons of twittering. Is it worth the time investment? What's the point? Should you twitter in church? We'll tackle all these questions and more. In the meantime, you can check out the Boundless twitter and well as Motte, Candice, Steve, and Lisa's individual twitters.
Singleness Redefined -- 16:53 Lisa got Carolyn Leutwiler from Redeemer Presbyterian author of Singleness Redefined on the line to talk about Dolce and Gabbana how God's word transformed her unsatisfied single-life to one of "productivity and fullness." You can learn more about Carolyn and her book on her website.
What's THAT Noise? -- 37:53 I need to preface this segment with a word: awkward. That's what I thought this week's inbox was going to be. One of our listeners lives in an apartment with thin walls. And he often and at odd hours hears his neighbors...uh...well, having sex. Not only does it interrupt his sleep but it's tempting him to lust. Motte shares some advice from his experience as an apartment dweller and does it in a way that's less awkward than I had anticipated.
Summertime Hospitality -- 00:00 Motte wanted this segment to be named "Summer, Summer, Summertime" after a Will Smith lyric. I'd never heard that particular tune, so I went with Summertime Hospitality. Just out of curiosity, have any of you heard it?
For this week's roundtable Steve, Motte, Lisa and I talk about summer parties and the art and heart of hosting. It seems Lisa and Motte have a flair for theme parties. So if you're missing your weekly TV shows now that the season's over, don't be sad. Motte will give you tips on how to host a TV show themed party that will tide you over until the Fall season premiere. Everlife Music -- 21:26 The ladies from Everlife join Lisa via speaker phone (the sound on this interview is surprisingly good for speaker phone). They talk about everything from beef jerky to faith to life on the road. In addition to being our guests for the culture segment they are also our featured musical artists. You can listen to more of their music here.
A Girl's Guide -- 46:12 It's almost here! We picked the cover art and sent it to the designer last week. Thanks to all of you who wrote in your comments and suggestions for the content. For the inbox this week I sit down with Lisa to give her and you the scoop about what to expect from this upcoming Boundless production.
Our featured musical artist this week is Heather Mangum. Her husband Matt and I had some trouble trying to get her permission form faxed. (I'm pretty sure faxes are the moodiest machines ever.) But let me tell ya, it was worth it. I love Heather's music and I'm moved by the passion I hear in her voice.
Sex and Violence in Movies -- 00:00 One of our East Coast listeners called in to ask some follow-up questions to our inbox in episode 63 about men and media discernment. Her Sunday school class listened to the segment (how cool) and the fellas didn't think it was very fair to have two women talking about men's media choices. So we brought the question to the Boundless roundtable to get the male perspective.
Holy Available -- 21:40 Back in February when Gary Thomas was in town for the Focus on Marriage simulcast Steve and Candice were able to snag a half hour with him to talk about his book Holy Available which is available in stores this month. I heard Gary Thomas speak at the marriage simulcast the day after they taped this interview. I hope I never forget something he said. He said that we should view God as our Heavenly Father-in-law. I had been engaged for less than a week at the time and as I've written before I wasn't in the running for the fiancee of the year award. I remember being so ashamed before my (soon to be) Heavenly Father-in-law for how I was treating his son. I'm thankful for the times when God brings that illustration, that eternal perspective, back to mind in the middle of a fight. Like Gary's talk at the marriage simulcast, his interview is also full of humbling and gaze-altering insights.
Pick-up Lines -- 44:06 Between Lisa and Tom there's been a whole heap of talk about pick-up lines on the blog this week. You guys had so much to say about them that we decided to continue the conversation on the podcast. If you listen to the inbox segment you'll figure out pretty quickly that I'm not a fan of pick-up lines. I'm a bit partial to the good ol' "Hi, my name is ______. What's yours?" It's like a little black dress. Never goes out of style. Even though I don't think it's a great way to get to know someone, I do have a favorite pick-up line. Wanna hear it? Okay, here it is: Are you from Tennessee? 'Cause your the only ten I see. Gets me every time.
This week's featured musical artist is Stevvi Alexander. She's gone solo after an extensive career as a backup singer for artists Diana Ross, Justin Timberlake, and Sheryl Crow just to name a few. (You should check our her resume. I was fascinated just looking at all the artists she's backed.)
3 Truths and a Lie -- 00:00 We had a fun time in the studio this week. One of our loyal listeners Janice wrote in with the idea of a 3 Truths and a Lie roundtable. Lisa, Motte, Ted, and Steve went around the table with their stories and Janice called in to guess the lie. Do you have any roundtable ideas? Send them to us and if we choose yours we'll give you a call, a prize, or a shout out on the blog.
Kevin DeYoung Part 2 -- 16:55 It's time for round two with Kevin DeYoung. If you didn't catch the first part you can listen to it here. Motte and Steve talk to Kevin about his book Just Do Something. And guess what. He thinks most people are marrying too late in life. No wonder Boundless likes him! Seriously though, Kevin's book is full of common sense wisdom and Biblical insights -- a lot like his interview.
Losing Touch -- 39:27 She just moved to a new city, started a new job, is investing in new relationships and just doesn't have time for old friendships. She's doesn't want to lose her long-distance friends but she doesn't have the energy to put into them. Maybe it's time for her to whittle down her friend list or maybe she needs her old friends more than ever. Listen in as Lisa and Suzanne share their friendship wisdom.
Have a question for the Boundless Show? E-mail your questions to editor@boundless.org.
This week's featured artist is Gabriel. You'll be hearing tracks from his solo debut album "I Need You." Check out his site to learn more about his music.
Spring is In the Air -- 00:00 Is it just me or does Spring stir up just as much romance as it does pollen? (It seems that all I do these days is complain about my allergies and gush about my fiance. I bet both drive my co-workers crazy.) I'm sure you've noticed in your singles group or on your college campus that relationships seem to surface this time of year. Lisa asks Steve, Suzanne, and I what the deal is with Spring love.
Summer Blockbusters -- 20:49 Welcome Back Bob! It's been a while since Bob joined us in the studio, but he's back this week to give us the scoop on summer blockbusters. You'll get the rundown on summer hits from Earth to X-Men Origins.
Segregated Singles -- 32:45 She feels like her church segregates the singles. I know other Boundless readers have voiced similar woes. If you can relate and want to know what to do about it, listen to Steve and Lisa's creative ideas to bring different church demographics together.
This week's featured musical artist is Camila Aguilar. Her album "Compelled" is indeed compelling with a "fusion of pop/rock, funk, jazz, and Latin styles." You can hear more of her music here.
Miss California Said What? -- 00:00 Motte, Lisa, and I gather round the the mikes to talk about Carrie Prejean, Perez Hilton and a bill that you'll want to be aware of. Lisa even manages to bring it back to the bottom line: relationships.
A Visit with Kevin DeYoung Part 1 -- 26:28 Motte and Steve interview Kevin DeYoung about his new book Just Do Something. You may remember Kevin's last interview about his previous book Why We're Not Emergent. I had the chance to read a phenomenal excerpt from his book about God's will in work and wedlock. Two thumbs way up. Speaking of God's will, our article today has some similar themes as Kevin's interview. If you like the interview be sure to check out All God's Callings.
Maintaining Emotional Balance -- 47:01 Suzanne and Lisa give some balanced advice to Brenda who's worried she's going "too deep too fast" with her new beau. If you have the same tendency, listen up because Suzanne is on her A-game.
My small group just finished Effective Stewardship. It's a 5 part series that takes a holistic look at our role as stewards in God's Kingdom. This week we have the host of Effective Stewardship, Dave Stotts on the Boundless Show. Dave's humor and sincerity really brought the Effective Stewardship series home for me. I think you'll see what I mean as he tells us a little about his other project Drive Thru History.
Our musical guest this week is justpassingthru. They're an idie band with a pretty eclectic style. You can check them out here.
Lives Changed II -- 00:00
Gary, Nima, and Devon join us again for part 2 of last week's testimony roundtable. This week we get to listen in as they continue to tell their stories. Gary even divulges a secret that only his wife knows. I don't know about you, but I love a good secret!
Driving Mr. Stotts -- 26:28
Dave Stotts sits down with Lisa to talk about his DVD series Drive Thru History. He tells us about how the whole thing started in while he was goofing off in an international airport. Dave shares his love for History and his heart to fill in the gaps that we didn't learn in History class.
Hi, Mom II -- 47:10
Lisa's Mom is with us again this week. I teared up listening to Mrs. Anderson talk about raising children on the mission field, losing her husband of 50 years, and her anticipation of the coming of our Lord. Mrs. Anderson ends Episode 66 by telling us that living the Christian life is worth it. There is something very reassuring about to me about a believer 60 years ahead saying "keep going; it's worth it." Thanks Dorthy.
One of my favorite hymns is "He Giveth More Grace." I've always liked the song, but developed a special affection for it when I discovered it was written by Annie Johnson Flint, a woman living in New Jersey during the late 19th and early 20th centuries. She was single and suffered from rheumatoid arthritis, two things she and I share. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis about eight years ago, and when giving my diagnosis, my doctor said, "There is no cure for rheumatoid arthritis. We're not even close to a cure. And many people die early from this disease." I endured about three years of increased pain and debilitation before starting some of the latest drugs for RA, drugs that in my opinion are miraculous. Because of them, I have regained function in all of my joints, have stopped the progression of the disease, and live (most days) with little or no pain.
Annie couldn't benefit from 21st-century breakthroughs, and was instead bedridden most of her life as her joints became stiff and twisted. She couldn't care for herself, and depended on the kindness of others. But in the midst of this, she was described as "cheerful and optimistic, and always fond of a good joke." Annie wrote numerous poems, letters and hymns from her bed, including "He Giveth More Grace":
He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater, He sendeth more strength as our labors increase; To added afflictions He addeth His mercy, To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance, When our strength has failed ere the day is half done, When we reach the end of our hoarded resources Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision, Our God ever yearns His resources to share; Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing; The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure, His power no boundary known unto men; For out of His infinite riches in Jesus He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
This hymn has come to mind again in the past few days. My mom, whom you'll hear in this episode, ended up in the ER three times the other day with a nosebleed that the doctors couldn't get to stop. She was admitted to the hospital, and then released yesterday with foam packing in her nose going all the way back to her brain. Her trip home was postponed, and she is now with me until the doctor removes the packing on Monday, and we go from there. The trauma of this caused some panic attacks on her part, so she was sedated, and I have to keep a very close eye on her. It's mind-boggling to think that just a few days ago she and I were out shopping and reliving the fun times we had during her visit.
To top it all off, a city water main broke outside my house, flooding the area and leaving me with no usable water. So as I moved about the house yesterday picking up bloody rags, washing bloody clothes, organizing my mom's meds and trying to talk her out of calling 911 because she was convinced she was dying, I thought of Annie and the words of this song. Imagine that -- even when we're at our worst, God's grace is all-sufficient. In fact, it's barely tapped. God's scarcely lifting a finger when he comes to our aid during some of life's worst trials. Caring for our needs is child's play to him.
After a very bad night and morning, my mom woke up from a nap relatively lucid and positive. She showered, ate the lunch I fixed her, and is napping again. Monday can't come soon enough, but it will come. And until then, God's grace is sufficient. It's a privilege for me to care for my mom during this time. And what an encouragement to know that while I do that, God is caring for me.
Changed by the Gospel -- 00:00 Three friends of mine join me in the studio to share how God took their aimless, self-destructive lives and replaced them with new lives in Christ. This is the first of a two-part discussion on what it means to be a new creation, even if the path getting there has some twists and turns.
Michael W. Smith's New Hallelujah -- 25:10 Where were you when the Columbine shootings occurred? Believe it or not, they happened ten years ago, April 20, 1999, at the suburban Denver high school that has unwillingly become an icon of senseless tragedy. Focus staffers (and MWS groupies) Sara and Jennifer interview CCM pioneer Michael W. Smith this week in honor of his tribute to one of the victims, Cassie Bernall, a song titled "This Is Your Time." We learn here about his latest project, A New Hallelujah, from which this week's featured music comes.
Introducing Dorothy Anderson -- 39:03 She's here! I finally convinced my mom to sit down in front of a mic and look back on her 80 years of life. She was a champion swimmer, missionary, pastor's wife and corporate executive in a life story that is peppered with both laughter and tears. She shares some of the wisdom she's gleaned from being in the trenches. Part 1 of 2.
I'm feeling a little sick right now. I just ate at a green speckled Jelly Belly. I think it was wasabi. Is there such a thing as a wasabi Jelly bean? What sicko thought of that? It may take a whole snickers to get that taste out of my mouth.
Speaking of sweets, I'm glad to inform you that I'm over Splenda. I snuck some in my coffee yesterday and I had to pour out the whole cup. My taste buds finally recognize it as the imitation it really is. Victory is sweet. I would like to thank God, the Academy, and my fiance who has taken away my Splenda packets in my weaker moments.
Okay, down to business. We have a great line up for this week's podcast. Lisa is on vacation, so Motte's filling in as our host. Our musical guest is indie band Journey Home.
Dating Q&A 2 -- 00:00 If you enjoyed last week's Q&A round table, you're going to love part 2. The team tackles three listener questions about long-distance dating, marriage time lines, and family baggage.
Personal Faith, Public Policy -- 13:45 There's been a steady flow of political posts on the blog thepastcouple of days. Thanks for joining the discussion. To give us a greater framework for our political discourse, Tony Perkins President of the Family Research Council joins us to talk about personal faith and public policy. This is an interview you will not want to miss no matter where you fall on the political spectrum.
To Marry in College-- 40:33 She wants some suggestions about getting married in college. Her fiance is about to start med school and she has two more years of undergrad. Steve and Motte help them count the cost of their decision and offer some strategic advice about how to make it through med school and marriage. And since all the smart stuff had been said, I point out the importance of not expecting to have a Pottery Barn sofa in your married student housing apartment. You may think it's silly, but if she's anything like me, it needed to be said.
First, I must thank all of the bold and intentional men who stepped up and proposed to me Wednesday over on the Boundful blog. I appreciate your care and concern, especially in regard to me losing my position as host of The Boundless Show given my protracted singleness. Yes, it was all a grand April Fool's joke, but I know the proposals were submitted in good faith, so I'll be sifting through the offers and making a decision soon.
The competition is stiff now that the Apostle Paul threw his hat in the ring. Paul, are you saying the stonings, shipwrecks and snakebites will become less frequent upon us marrying? Because quite frankly, I'm not sure I want that added drama in my life. Plus, I question whether I can join you in tentmaking. I made an apron in Home Ec. in middle school, and found the project extremely challenging. I ironed it beautifully, though, if that counts.
In other news, I discovered this week that the best way to get your theological and wisdom-needed-here questions answered is to invite the president of a seminary to dinner. My friends and I did that on Tuesday, hosting our friend Dr. Dominic Aquila, president of New Geneva Seminary, for a no-holds-barred time of Q&A spanning both the sacred and profane. Questions covered predestination, birth control, Biblical divorce, charismatic gifts, New Calvinism, vocation, the Rapture and, of course, relationships, marriage and singleness. I learned some stuff, and am convinced we'll have to bring Dr. A on the show to "open the scrolls" and clear up some of life's mysteries -- things like "What will Heaven be like?" "Can we trust God in the silences?" and "How did Lady Gaga ever get a record deal?"
What burning questions do you have for which you'd like an answer?
It's All About You -- 00:00 Speaking of Q&As, we heard your cries. Y'all have asked us to do a Q&A-based show. So we did. This week and next the team tackles your questions on the theme of dating (shocking!). Listen in and learn.
Jonny Diaz and a More Beautiful You -- 14:56 He wanted to play baseball, but God put a guitar in his hand during college, and now he has the fastest-growing song in Christian music. Jonny Diaz joins me in the studio for a look at his music and the stories behind it, including his reason for singing directly to women in the new hit single, "More Beautiful You."
Be Careful Little Eyes What You See -- 38:31 Can guys "handle" more graphic content than women when it comes to entertainment? Should they? A listener is concerned about the entertainment choices of some of the men in her circle, but doesn't want to judge them if in fact it's just a "guy thing." Candice and I talk bullets, babes and f-bombs for this week's Inbox.
Oooh, by the way, I interviewed my mom this week for the show. Not sure when we'll run it, but I'll keep you posted. She was concerned that she hadn't gotten her hair done until I reminded her that The Boundless Showis an audio product. Bless her heart. I'm still learnin' her on what this thing is all about.
Focus on the Family is closed today due to snow, so I'm livin' the dream -- typing away in my PJs with coffee at my elbow and white fluffy flakes falling softly outside (last night they weren't falling softly...more like sideways). Yesterday afternoon I saw three guys ski down my street. It reminded me of how much fun snow can be.
But this morning I called my family near Fargo, North Dakota, and was reminded that sometimes snow is not fun. As you probably know, Fargo and surrounding areas are experiencing unprecedented flooding. Record autumn rainfall plus record winter snowfall plus a sudden March thaw plus the convergence of three rivers -- the Red, Cheyenne and Wild Rice -- has created a problem that is mirroring what happened there in 1997, only worse.
Much of Fargo and its twin city, Moorhead, is being evacuated. My sister's father-in-law was evacuated from his assisted living residence and is now with my sister and her husband. Another sister is safe at her place, but will attempt to fly here tomorrow morning, and we don't know if she'll get out (or in, for that matter, with the snow accumulation in Denver). Only a field separates my mom's house from the Red River, and water is surging across the already saturated dirt toward her back door. The Red is expected to crest at a record 43' on Saturday, and residents are currently building sandbag walls of over 40' to protect property.
Yesterday they evacuated Fargo's largest hospital of patients who are too weak or immobile to move at a moment's notice. Patients were airlifted to hospitals around the midwest, some in critical condition with doctors at their sides. The interstate is closed, as are several other major highways leading into the Fargo-Moorhead area, leaving many people stranded. A family friend had a medical emergency the other night, and members of his church had to transport him via boat across several fields in order to reach a patch of highway that could get him to the nearest emergency room.
My pastor mentioned in a recent sermon that because of the Fall, even nature conspires to kill us. I didn't like that when I heard it. After all, I'm the girl who loves thunderstorms and 5-foot snow drifts. But it's true. Once Adam and Eve got kicked out of the Garden, nature was unleashed. We need houses and cars to protect us not merely from getting wet or having windblown hair, but from perishing. Everything we do is an act of self-preservation. He went on to explain that everything in our world is tainted by sin: our environment, our social structures, our minds, our motives and our hearts. Only by God's grace does sin not completely destroy us.
Sometimes we get a bit too comfy here on Earth. We become used to the coffee-and-PJs scenario without recognizing the impending flood. Fortunately, my mom is here to remind me that Christ's return is imminent. She's ready for it, and speaks of it often. She doesn't care much about her house. I asked her what's in her basement, and she doesn't really know. She doesn't care. Everything she cares about is with Jesus. It's a good reminder as I nurse my anger toward my plummeting retirement funds, rising utility bills, stuffy (again) nose and less-than-satisfactory circumstances and opportunities. I'm a little too concerned about me, quite frankly.
Mary Ann, a woman in my mom's town, made the news the other day. Her house was flooding, and volunteers were working around the clock to save it. The reporter asked her if her home will survive. "Absolutely," she said. "And so will we. It's just stuff."
A lot of my life is "just stuff," and I occasionally need a jarring reality check (a la natural disaster) to remember how to use my time to best worship God, love others and, as my pastor says, "push back the effects of the Fall." A tall order, but it's time to get out of my PJs and start.
Employee Ethics -- 00:00 Workplace integrity is the talk of today's Roundtable segment. Whether it's Facebooking, shopping or checking scores on company time, or coming in late/leaving early, where do you draw the line? The team argues over the new trend in "results-oriented" workplaces and where that fits with an old-fashioned thing called responsibility.
Christian Classics with Challies -- 24:11 Popular blogger Tim Challies joins me to discuss his short list of Christian classics. And no, we're not talking Your Best Life Now. We're talking old-school texts that influenced some of today's best Christian thinkers and theologians. We also throw in a couple current reads to satisfy you contemporary types.
Claim Jumper -- 41:36 She thinks a guy in her church likes her, but her friend likes him, too, and wants to stake a claim. Um? Is Mr. "I Don't Know If He's That Into Me" off-limits due to the friendship rule, or does her friend need to get a grip?
I got tagged in that "20 Albums" note on Facebook this week. This is, like the "25 Random Things" note, another opportunity for FB-ers to shamelessly trumpet our preferences and accompanying personal anecdotes to anyone who will read them. I think about 4.3 billion people worldwide have completed the "25 Random Things" list, not counting babies and some cattle. I truly believe that if government, insurance companies, banks and the American consumer put as much effort into our financial woes as we have in our respective "random" lists, we'd turn the economy around. But instead of balancing our checkbooks or paying off credit cards, we post Facebook notes and hope that friends (and let's be honest, strangers) will peruse them, even if as a stalling tactic to avoid cleaning the toilet, doing calculus or being subjected to an experimental medical procedure.
And so I sat down the other evening and agonizingly selected 20 music albums that, according to the note's instructions, "shaped my world." This descriptor may be a bit much. I mean, I've had food items "shape my world," but Elvis or U2 or Amy Grant can't quite compare to an amaretto cream puff cake with chocolate glaze, can they?
That said, I did my best, and listed artists like Keith Green, Eva Cassidy and Keane. The Gaithers made the list twice. Even Sesame Street (I love Grover!) appears. I posted my list, and the comments started popping up. (People are reading my list! They're writing down my albums and rushing to iTunes to purchase them! They're imagining how spunky I was in junior high! They think I'm awesome!) No, not really, but when someone says, "I like #12," I know this is what he means.
Actually, I re-read my list this morning, and wish I had some cooler bands on there. No one said they have a new respect for me due to my love of Sandi Patti. I have friends who have super-cool music taste. They know bands before the bands even form. They know the bands that play in bars, clubs and alleys for less than ten people. They amaze people with their music awesomeness. I'm not really one of these people. But if you read my list, you'll see a little piece of me. And I'm reading friends' lists and seeing a piece of them. And then I'm praying for them because their lists include bands like Poison, Ace of Base and Rage of Angels.
March Madness -- 00:00 Four guys sit at the table with me this week to talk about basketball........sorry, I just dozed off for a minute.........ok, I'm back. Actually, I learned a few things in this week's roundtable, like which teams are on top, that brackets aren't only for shelves, and that sports can actually be a fun and bonding time for folks, especially guys. As long as they don't get too crazy, like those sketchy single women who watch The Bachelor with a box of Milk Duds.
When Love's In View -- 22:06 He couldn't think of five godly, eligible guys in his church to recommend to a single female friend. Before he knew it, he was in charge of the singles ministry there. Dr. Conway Edwards and his wife, Jada, served at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas before leaving to plant a church. While there, they saw a lot of the ups and downs of singleness, especially regarding relationships, and wrote a book called When Love's In View to help their single friends navigate the terrain. They join me with some great counsel for singles and the people who love them.
Messy Margins -- 51:32 She can't keep up. How does she make time for important friendships and activities, but still stay on top of schoolwork and chores? Suzanne's with me to help our listener cut through the clutter and build some margin into her life.
Oooh, I haven't checked my FB page in almost 4 minutes. Gotta go see if I have any more comments!
My mom is 80 years old today. As most of you know, she arrived last week from Minnesota for a six-week visit. Her intent was to escape the remainder of winter there, which generally includes sub-zero temps, four-foot-high snow drifts and ten-pound winter weight gains. She came to work with me today, as it's our monthly chapel service, and she is a rabid Focus on the Family groupie. We picked up three dozen donuts for my department to celebrate her big day, and she held court at a conference table as my coworkers came to grab a donut and meet her. Of course they've heard many of my stories, so needed to see the subject of them "in the flesh."
My mom keeps saying that she doesn't know where the time has gone. "How did I get to be 80 all of a sudden?" she asked this morning. On our way to work, she mused, "I remember hearing Pop-Pop say that when I was born (she's the firstborn), he ran down the street yelling, 'I have a daughter! I have a daughter!'"
My mom has lived a lot of life since that day in 1929. Originally from Connecticut, she trained as an Olympic swimmer, graduated from seminary, married my dad, raised six kids (doing the best job with the youngest, obviously), moved to the Philippines as a missionary, moved back to the States as a pastor's wife, joined corporate America as a telecom exec in Northern California, retired to Minnesota, lost the love of her life after 50 years of marriage, and now reads like a madwoman (I think she read all of Joel Rosenberg's books in three weeks), follows current events, studies the End Times, and prays boldly (desperately?) for her daughter to find a husband. (And then tells the daughter to "be friendly" in social settings where men are present. This has so far proved unhelpful. Maybe "be interesting" or "be quiet" would yield better results.)
She's excited about her 80-year milestone, but has asked the Lord to take her Home before she turns 85, because "by the time you're 85, you just look old and start losing it." Um, ok. How about if we just see what God has for you, Mom? God has used my mom to encourage and bless many people throughout her life, including me. Much of who I am today is because of her. I don't think God's done with her quite yet. But when He's ready for her to join the crowd in Heaven, I know she'll be ready, too.
Dobson Passes the Baton -- 00:00 Speaking of God using people, Dr. Dobson has resigned as chairman of Focus on the Family, the ministry he founded 32 years ago in a small office with a part-time secretary. We talk about his legacy and what the future looks like for the largest Christian organization in the world dedicated to helping families thrive.
Mr. Independent -- 22:09 Keith Mohr founded Indieheaven.com, an online store and resource/community for independent Christian music artists. He joins the show for a peek into the world of indie music, and shares candidly what it's like to pursue a calling, not knowing exactly where it will lead.
Eat Your Carats -- 41:26 She knows the ring is coming, but is afraid it won't be what she hopes for. Should she encourage her bf to give her a band until he can gift her with the stone of her dreams? Candice and I dish a balanced perspective on this touchy subject, and shed some light on navigating the world of a "girl's best friend."
My mom just picked up her third donut, so I need to get her out of here. I asked where she'd like to go for a special birthday lunch. Her answer: McDonald's. Lisa's family = all class, all the time. Happy 80th, Mom!
Raise your hand if you watched the season finale of The Bachelor. I did, but I blame it entirely on my coworkers. They got me sucked in, albeit only in mid-season. If you watch reality TV, you know that, like daytime soaps, you only need to watch an episode every 15 years to keep up. Though one summer in junior high, I got so addicted to The Young and the Restless that I called the show's plot hotline whenever I missed a show. Let's just say the Lord has done a work in my heart since then (Bachelor regression aside).
I watched the Bachelor finale at my friend Julie's house. We sat with coffee, chips and Milk Duds and prepared to offer up three hours of our lives on the altar of Complete Lameness, knowing that we'd never get that time back. We sat on the couch and watched Melissa and Molly reunite with Jason, then meet Ty, then meet the rest of Jason's family. We offered insightful and witty commentary for all of this. But then, as all of America and most third world countries now know, Jason dissed Molly and proposed to Melissa, and then on national TV, on a set that looked prepped more for a seance than a DTR, Jason dumped Melissa and (gasp!) went back to Molly.
Julie and I were on the floor at this point (the Milk Duds were long gone). We noticed that we had clasped hands, and had our free hands clapped firmly over our mouths. Julie's husband was texting his friend a running report of our craziness and how he was concerned for our emotional and mental health. When we thought we couldn't take it anymore, Melissa stormed off the stage, got into the waiting limo, and said (unless I was high on caffeine and sugar, which is entirely possible), some pretty interesting things.
I remember her saying that Jason "did not fight for their relationship." He proposed, but then said the "chemistry changed," and he started thinking of Molly and what could have been. And so he started pulling away, according to Melissa. She mentioned the sadness of being dumped yet again by a guy she felt she trusted. One whom she thought was being honest in saying he wanted to pursue a relationship with her...for life. And she finished by saying something which I thought was very insightful and sad. She said she wished he hadn't proposed. "Getting engaged is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and he took that away from me," she said. Obviously it's not over 'til it's over and the commitment is sealed, but still, I thought that was a true and heartwrenching statement from a girl who up to that point was known primarily as an ex-professional cheerleader with a tan and a toothy grin.
The lessons here are worth mentioning:
1) Don't ever go on The Bachelor 2) Don't accept a proposal from someone who made out with someone else less than 4 hours prior 3) Don't use lines like "I don't know how this happened," "I can't control my head or my heart" and "It's not you, it's me" when breaking up with someone 4) Don't propose unless you mean it, and know that if an engagement has to be broken, it should be for something bigger than "a change in chemistry" 5) Avoid points 1-4 by following guidelines for Biblical dating as outlined by Boundless
My mom, who knows far too much about The Bachelor (though mercifully just from Jason's appearances on morning talk shows), summed it up best: "These people are crazy! What is their problem?!" The problem is that there's a lot of whack relationship stuff going on out there. But despite it all, people still want to be loved, and they still want a lifelong commitment that attests to that. People go on reality TV shows because of it. We should remember that, and do our best to esteem marriage and getting to marriage. To that end:
Straight Talk To Single Women, Part 2 -- 00:00 Here's the second half of the conversation between Dr. Juli Slattery, Candice and myself about being a single woman who hopes (and prays) for marriage. In this half we talk about the very real call of marriage, whether or not serving God "puts marriage on hold," and grieving the losses associated with singleness.
Texting and Twittering With Dr. Mohler -- 24:48 We snagged Dr. Mohler while he was here for the Focus board meetings, and put him on a mic to talk about Christians and new media. What do evangelicals do well, and how can we improve our use of new technologies? And in the midst of it all, how do we know when to drop the Crackberries in an effort to preserve real relationships?
Can I Afford To Marry? -- 47:06 Our economy stinks. We know that. But does it stink enough to say "no" to marriage until the markets improve? Steve and I address a listener who is not sure he can afford to marry right now. His concerns are valid, so we do our best to offer principled and practical advice on the balance of love and money.
Have a great week, everyone. I'm off to Anne Graham Lotz' Pursuing More of Jesus conference this weekend. Maybe that will provide something more edifying for me to write about next week. Maybe. :)
Update: You guys rock. We just broke the iTunes top 100 podcasts in the "Christianity" category and we received 7 new reviews. Thanks for helping get the word out.
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Do you love the Boundless podcast? Do you? Then others will too. And you owe it to them to share your joy.
If you are one of the tens of listeners (just kidding ... sort of) to the Boundless podcast, here are a few things you can do to help us promote the show.
1) Subscribe through iTunes. Even if it's not your preferred media choice, new subscribers help our ranking. Which increases our visibility. Which may lead to new listeners. 2) After you've subscribed, take a minute to leave a review and a five star rating. Because we deserve it. 3) Link to our RSS feed from your blog. Just go here and follow the instructions. 4) Update your Facebook and Twitter pages as you're listening to the podcast (everytime) and include this link -- www.boundless.typepad.com/podcast. For example, "Motte Brown is listening to the Boundless podcast. It's the best podcast ever. (place link here)." Or something like that. 5) Get 10 friends to follow steps 1, 2, 3 and 4. Or just getting them to listen to show would be great too.
And feel free to submit your own promotional ideas in the comments section. If we've missed something, let us know.
Well, I'm busy. This could be because Dr. Dobson announced his resignationas chairman of the board of Focus on the Family today. The fact that I'm on Focus' media team means that actions such as this signal short-term craziness for me. From the time the announcement was made in our monthly employee chapel service this morning, I've been on the phone nonstop, setting up interviews, sending out our news release and -- in poorly-chosen high heels, mind you -- walking photogs around the campus for strategic shots. But it's good. All in a day's work.
I didn't have time for lunch, so I foolishly downed a Monster Energydrink and some Now & Laters instead, and am feeling a bit jittery. I just emerged from our news conference where Dr. Dobson and Focus President/CEO Jim Daly spoke to local news outlets about the decision. Both Dr. Dobson and Jim assured folks that Focus will remain committed to its founding principles while at the same time striving to effectively meet the needs of families worldwide.
It's fun to be part of something big like this. I'm in the middle of a little bit of history. Never did I imagine, sitting in my college journalism classes years and years ago, that one day I'd be on the phone with CNN, FoxNews, NPR and others talking about why it's important to help families thrive. And why the Bible models the best way in which to do this. It makes me think of the task before us. The world isn't getting any less hostile to Christians, and the culture isn't cleaning up its act. But God is still God, and because He's in charge, founders of ministries can relinquish some operational control and everything's still ok. Yay!
And now on to the show. Each segment this week has a unique take on different relationships and their issues:
Straight Talk for Single Women -- 00:00 Candice and I are in the hot seat(s) as Dr. Juli Slattery, Focus' family psychologist, asks us to get real about women and singleness. Shouldn't we be content where we are? Are we supposed to be this "active" in desiring marriage? How do we encourage women as women, regardless of their marital status? Dr. Slattery's skepticism takes Candice to task. And I speak up as the single girl.
Friends and Adversaries -- 26:46 Glenn Stanton is straight. John Corvino is gay. Glenn is a Christian. John is an atheist. These men are friends, and regularly debate the subject of same-sex marriage on college campuses around the nation. When they're not debating, they talk about life, faith, family and everything in between. Listen in as Glenn shares what it's like to cultivate a friendship when both parties disagree on many things, but are determined to continue the conversation despite it all.
Living With Your BFF -- 51:00 Should best friends be roommates, or is that a recipe for unspeakable drama? If you're already in one another's lives, should you also be in each other's laundry? Suzanne Hadley sits down with me this week to relive our own roomie-filled pasts, and together we uncover the heartwarming and hair-pulling aspects of living with someone who knows you (too) well.
Time for me to go home. It's been a long and tiring day. I need to kick off the heels and eat something with nutrients before gearing up for a busy weekend. I'm back here tomorrow to handle media for our national marriage simulcast. In order to impress Candice, at some point I'll rush the stage, grab a mic and throw out my phone number. Sure, most attendees will be married, but they have single friends...
I am in the process of getting my life together. Well, at least the tangibles. As many of you know, I'm having my fence replaced. The old fence was torn down on Wednesday, and the new fence should go up today. This project is occurring in conjunction with other tasks, all designed to reduce the entropy in my life. I don't know much about science, but one thing I remember from high school chemistry is the fact that everything moves toward a state of disorder (entropy). I regularly schedule Reduction of Entropy (ROE) Days to get back on track. I took Wednesday off, and while the friendly fence guys were hard at work, I proceeded to pay bills, gather tax records, test my home alarm system (after renewing the contract), schedule a tree removal, and purchase some groceries.
I'm also in my fourth week of systematically going through my house and getting rid of stuff. I love getting rid of stuff! Unfortunately, I've let stuff accumulate (for, oh, three years or so), and have been in the habit of throwing it into my guest room closet. This was until both doors of the closet busted off their track due to the strain. For real. So now for a month I've been sifting through party supplies, books, CDs, tradeshow schwag, papers and other clutter, filling up bags of trash and boxes for Goodwill.
How do you keep your life decluttered? Are you a filer or a piler? And what "collections" do you have that you just can't part with, but know you should? I know someone who collects barbed wire. Another friend has 1,500 Beanie Babies. Still another has kept every greeting card she ever received. If you want to get a handle on your worldly goods, check out the book Too Much Stuff by Kathryn Porter. I met the author when her book first came out, and found her advice immensely helpful, even though I'm a natural clean freak and general minimalist (grace on the closet, please).
Oscar Opinions -- 00:00 The Boundless team has seen virtually none of this year's Oscar-nominated films, but that doesn't stop us from talking about them. I'm a bit disappointed that Beverly Hills Chihuahua isn't nominated. The larger discussion turns to films in general, what makes one Oscar-worthy, and whether public adulation makes for something "must-see."
Global Warning -- 18:55 Jay Richards of the Acton Institute joins me to talk about stewardship, including stewardship of the environment, our talents, other humans, civil institutions and finances. Jay gives practical advice on making gains in all of these areas for the good of humanity and the glory of God.
Start Your Family -- 38:12 Samuel wrote to us wondering if a woman's career and thoughts on family should be a factor in choosing a wife. Should this be considered even before dating, or, once dating, should one focus on getting married and then address family if/when it happens? Steve's fresh off of authoring Start Your Family with Candice, and is in the studio with me to give his plug for true "family planning."
When you hear from me next week, I will have gotten rid of another 50 things. You read it here first. What about you?
I returned last night from my annual trip to the National Religious Broadcasters Convention in Nashville. This year, two of my team members came with me, and in addition to staging photo shoots to chronicle our trip (see my FB page), drinking expensive coffee drinks (hail to a latte called the Jittery Monkey), and occasionally doing the work actually assigned them (good job, ladies) they spent their time trying to set me up with any guy who looked remotely unattached. Turns out some of the guys were actually attached (awkward), but the girls remained undaunted.
On our flight to Nashville, I wore a Boundless T-shirt. A flight attendant asked me what "Boundless" is, and I gave him the scoop. He looked at me and my coworkers and countered with "You look more like the cast of 'Girls Gone Wild.'" We're still not sure where that came from. I recovered when we landed in Nashville and there was a Bill Gaither sign above baggage claim that proclaimed "Welcome Home." Yay! The rest of the week was a flurry of meetings, presentations, events and handshakes with friends old and new.
One of the highlights of the trip was meeting Katie and Liza, two listeners to the show. Katie was at NRB with her company, so we met and chatted for about an hour. What a fun girl! She gave me some good show suggestions, but, while helpful, they were slightly overshadowed by the box of homemade white chocolate peanut clusters she presented me. Liza wasn't at the convention, but lives in Nashville, so drove all the way to the hotel to say "hello." I learned about her plans to go to seminary, and she gave me the inside scoop on the Christian music industry. Good times. If I'm ever in your area, or if you're in Colorado Springs, make sure we arrange to meet!
Valentine's Day Smackdown -- 00:00 Has a year passed since our last Valentine's Day show? Hard to believe. The VDay gift from my sister arrived yesterday, but I'm holding out until tomorrow to open it. In the meantime, the team (including new team member Ashley Harris!) joins me to discuss what's in and what's out when it comes to making plans for the holiday.
The Sonflowerz -- 16:21 This week's music is provided by The Sonflowerz, a fun sister duo whose new album All Over the World is making an impact in Christian music. I get to know them in this week's culture segment, and ask what it's like to be be cute, talented, interesting and have good things to say through music. Girls, take me with you on your next trip to England!
Gift Registry Do-gooders -- 35:17 They're getting married, and they'd prefer that in lieu of gifts, people just donate to a designated charity. Is this appropriate, and if so, how can they best communicate their wish? Candice and I disagree on this one. I suggested we settle it in a fist fight or gift-wrap-off, but instead we just share our opinions in a semi-civilized way.
By the way, I also had my photo taken with Jesus while at NRB. He was working a booth on the convention floor, and was extremely friendly and chatty. He said he loves Focus on the Family, and he wants me to visit him in Florida when I get a chance. I said I would try.
Tomorrow Lisa will write her usual, amazing podcast summary. You know the one. It will make you laugh; it will make you cry; it will make you update your iTunes subscription. You can wait to laugh and cry till tomorrow, but update your iTunes today because the podcast has been released. And it's a good one! The Valentine's Day roundtable is great prep for everybody-- single or in a relationship.
[Spoiler Alert] My feelings about Valentine's Day have changed a little since we recorded the podcast. I don't know what to attribute it to ... overhearing the guys at work order flowers for their sweethearts, Suzanne's blog post on Tuesday, the card aisle at Target, or the heart-shaped chocolate-covered pretzels that I've eaten my body weight in this week. Whatever it is, I'm warming up to the holiday. (My feelings about the red Mardi Gras beads at Barnes and Noble, however, have not changed.)
Prayer changes things. Life is tough -- pray hard. The family that prays together, stays together. You've heard the cliches. You also know that it's easier to talk about prayer than it is to actually pray. Our prayer bumper stickers, magnets and screen savers prove that point.
This week I prayed. Like, really prayed. It was the first time in a while that I prayed in a "God, I have to talk to you right now and it may take a while so please pull up a chair and put your phone on vibrate" kind of way. Tuesday night I sat down to work on my weekly Bible study homework. Thus began what quickly became a full-blown tear-fest as I worked through my lesson material and meditated on a few chapters of Scripture. I then began to pray. And pray. And cry. And pray. I did what I can only imagine people do when they "pour out their hearts to the Lord." I looked for my heart on the floor and behind my chair, because I was pretty sure it had spilled out of me at some point. But long story short, God met me. I have to say this (even though it's another cliche), because it really happened. And because I've been a Christian for over 30 years, yet I still apparently doubt that God can and will do this if I only ask. The next morning I woke up with a peace that I cannot describe. Perhaps we can call this a "peace that passes understanding" (hello, reminder to review AGAIN God's promises). All I know is that I unloaded some major issues on the Lord, and He scooped them up.
Fast forward to last night. My Husband Prayer Group met at my house. Yes, I'm in a Husband Prayer Group. We pray for husbands. We also pray for other things, but we call it the HPG because we are taking Candice's advice to PRAY BOLDLY for a mate. Our track record is pretty good, as two of our original five are now married. And two are charismatic, which has nothing to do with finding husbands, but they're not afraid to say "Yes, Jesus!" and "Amen!" as we pray, and I love that. If any potential husbands are within earshot, maybe they'll wander over.
Anyway, the fact is, this could've been a bad week. But it wasn't, because I invited God into it through prayer. I told my high school girls group the other night that I'm ashamed I've been a Christian for so long, yet I still fret about things that are quite obviously out of my control. I try to manipulate circumstances and people instead of placing them before the Lord. This is lame, and I have to confess it. My time with God this week reminded me that He really does provide "abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine." Even more than I can imagine! I have quite an imagination, so that's a big deal.
The Boundless Show's Birthday -- 00:00 This week's Roundtable cracks me up. We look back on a year of podcasts and recount our favorite moments, topics, guests and comments, and then ask what's been most fun and meaningful for you. No, I still haven't purchased a gun. But my fence is getting replaced!
Stepparenting Isn't for Cowards -- 19:32 I have a few friends who just entered the world of the stepfamily. As soon as I did this interview with Ron Deal, I emailed them and said, "You cannot miss this interview when it hits the show." So friends, you know who you are...now is the time. Ron Deal of Successful Stepfamiliesgives insights on being an adult stepchild, marrying into a stepfamily, merging families and everything in between.
With This Cell Phone, I Thee Wed -- 44:40 Marriage is around the corner, so should the cell phone plans be merged in anticipation? This is one facet of the larger "How do we go from 'mine' to 'ours'"? question that all potential marriages face. Candice and I break down the minutes in this friends-and-family plan.
In other prayer news, my mom will be visiting me for the month of March. She announced the other day that she is "praying about learning to work my stove" when she gets here. I have a Viking gas stove, and she's afraid of it. Maybe she and I can pray together when she arrives and (tears optional) give the stove to the Lord. Then I'll bring her on the show so she can testify.
After more than two years of darkness, I've started watching TV again. My television is 13" with a built-in VCR, so the pull to sit in front of it isn't overly strong. In fact, when I do watch something, I have to slide a chair up right in front of the set in order to see the screen clearly.
Now when I say I'm "watching TV," I mean I've watched a few of the American Idol auditions. Since American Idol is now on basically every night of the week (I would hate to be all the other ugly-stepchild Fox shows that are shelved during AI), I realize I will not be able to keep up with this pace for long. I have several nights per week dedicated to church activities, mentoring, Bible studies and other schedule stuffers designed to legitimize my works-based faith (kidding...grace all the way, baby). But I've caught a few AI episodes now, and am pleased that there are less of the patently fake and over-the-top auditions featured this season. And I like that new judge, Kara.
Last night, however, I OD'd on TV. I went to my coworker's house and sat mesmerized in front of her 908" HD-whatever-flatscreen and ingested some Gospel Music Channel, HBO (the Ted Haggard special...whoa) and Larry King Live (more Ted Haggard...whoa). Then came the main attraction: Monday's DVR'd episode of The Bachelor. As host of The Boundless Show, this is necessary research for me. I need to know how a seemingly competent and handsome single dad will find true love in a sea of tanned, coiffed and ready-to-burst-into-tears-if-Molly-gets-another-one-on-one-date-with-him females. Surely he's read our Guys' Guide to Marrying Well, and is referencing it prior to each rose ceremony. I'll let you know if he calls me for advice. I'm sure he will.
The Death of Old Media -- 00:00 There used to be this stuff called paper. And it was made into books, newspapers and magazines. In this week's roundtable, we talk about the tension between old and new media. Is old media on its last legs? How do we get our news these days, and is it enough? Is new media making us dumb and dumber, or is having access to every bit of info in the world a good thing?
Bring the Rain -- 16:53 Candice hosts Todd and Angie Smith for a frank discussion of love and loss. Todd is a founding member of the hugely popular CCM group Selah, and Angie writes and manages Bring the Rain, a blog originally created to celebrate their daughter Audrey, who died shortly after birth. The Smiths talk about this past year and their discovery of joy through pain, and how God's love and the power of community get us through when life scripts itself apart from our neatly laid out plans. There's some funny stuff here, too. Angie's a funny girl. Love that.
Too Late for Love? -- 51:46 She's 33 and single, and is starting to despair. We know that women marry in their 30s and beyond, but surely those three women found mates only after two or three religious pilgrimages and an extensive series of anointings and laying-on-of-hands, right? Not so, says Candice. God is still in the business of making good matches, and there's encouragement for the over-30 single girl in this. So turn up your hearing aids, ladies, and listen in. Guys, listen too. You're an important part of the marriage equation, remember?
Because I was too busy watching GMC, HBO, CNN and ABC last night, I missed American Idol. I guess I'll survive. I'll squeeze in AI's "Hollywood Week" somewhere between the Bible studies and checking out new blogs like Bring the Rain. I need a personal assistant to help me keep track of all of these important commitments. And to maybe get me Milk Duds whenever I want them. Anyone want to apply?
What a crazy week. It has moved ridiculously slowly, yet it's been packed with activity. Do you have those times in life where everyone around you seems to be moving on and changing, yet you're standing still? I've mentioned before that I'm in a season where ten of my close friends are getting married. I'm serious. Ten! I'm moving through these events like clockwork, and am actually having a lot of fun celebrating with these girls.
But sometimes life sneaks up on me. Earlier this week, I was unpleasantly surprised to discover that not only is my friend Carol getting married this weekend, but she is jetting off to Mexico for her honeymoon, then moving to Maine immediately upon her return. I am not ok with this. I knew she was moving to Maine, of course, but it always seemed to be sometime in the future. Alas, the time has come. We have not had time to say our goodbyes. We didn't go on any final hikes up in the mountains. I haven't fully vetted her fiance by grilling him with exceedingly personal and inappropriate questions. I'm now left with having to fly to Maine sometime in the coming months to catch up on all that Carol and I have missed in the busyness of the last few whirlwind weeks. Carol, you heard it here first. Leave the light on. I'm coming out there.
We're in a new year and a new administration. "Change" is our mantra. And usually, I'm all about change. But now I just feel left behind. The train left the station, and I wasn't on it. My friends are embarking on new life chapters, and I'm at home filling my dishwasher, sifting through junk mail and figuring out how to say yet again, "Oh totally, when life settles down for you, let's get together!"
Is anyone else in the same spot? What do you do to look ahead while you're standing still? How do you maintain hope in a future you can't see?
Hail to the Chief -- 00:00 This week we inaugurated our 44th United States President. According to his staff, he's already rolling up his sleeves and getting to work. Many Christians and pro-family folks are concerned about what that work will be. We'll soon find out. In this discussion, the team takes apart the inauguration, from Rick Warren's prayer to Aretha's hat to the speech that outlined Obama's intent for our nation in the coming months.
Fatal Addiction -- 19:08 Today marks the 20th anniversary of Dr. Dobson's landmark interview with serial killer Ted Bundy. Bundy was executed on January 24, 1989 -- the morning after the interview. Focus' media and sexuality analyst, Daniel Weiss, joins me for a look back on that interview and Bundy's telling words about the impact violence and pornography in the media had on his addiction to sexualized violence. Daniel talks about the impact of porn on society, not just in making "monsters," but in systematically destroying individuals, marriages and families.
Conviction Confliction -- 40:25 I grew up in a home where alcohol was taboo. So did the subject of this week's Inbox question. Should she marry someone whose convictions about alcohol are different from hers? When are convictions dealbreakers, and when is there room for compromise and/or disagreement? What kind of problems can differing convictions present in a marriage, and what do you do about them? Focus' Glenn Lutjens uses Biblical truth and experience from years as a professional counselor to give this listener practical advice in tackling her drinking dilemma.
I'm in a study at church called How People Change. I can tell it's going to be good as it focuses on letting God change us by His grace. I'll keep you posted. Maybe I'll become more grace-filled. Maybe you'll hear a new-found sweetness in my voice on the show. Hey, God is a God of miracles. :)
Many of us regularly deal with what a friend of mine describes as "first-world problems." These are inconveniences; petty concerns. I had a couple of those this week. I spent 10 minutes on my hands and knees in my bathroom looking for my missing contact lens -- only to discover it was still in my eye. Last night I got stuck in a car wash. Both doors closed, but nothing happened. I backed up and recentered my car about six times. Nothing. I was pretty sure I would die from carbon monoxide poisoning when a college guy came and helped me. He reset the codes and assured me that none of this was my fault (yeah, right). To top it all off, today I'm not feeling too well on account of eating a ridiculous number of Red Vines for breakfast. That one I definitely have to blame on myself.
My problems are miniscule. There are many bigger things going on in the world. As we head into Sanctity of Human Life Week (January 18-25) and the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, we address a couple of big things on The Boundless Show -- abortion and human trafficking. Before I talk about these specific segments, let me encourage you to check out Focus' Faces of Option Ultrasound. Option Ultrasound (OU) is our effort to get ultrasound equipment and services into pregnancy medical clinics around the nation. Abortion-minded women who receive counseling services and see an image of their preborn baby are more than twice as likely to say they will keep the baby. Since OU's launch five years ago, over 400 grants have been approved in 49 states, resulting in an estimated 63,000 babies saved. Yes, you read that right. That is crazy exciting. Check out the site and get the whole scoop.
Fetus Fatigue -- 00:00 Our generation seems weary of talking about abortion. We're tired of the fight, the anger, the injustice, the politics and the players. But defending the unborn is still Biblical, so how do we inject passion into a calling that we know is worthy, but after 35 years is still so daunting?
The Courageous Fight Against Sex Trafficking -- 24:07 DO NOT MISS THIS SEGMENT. Congresswoman Linda Smith (R-WA) is in the studio to update us on the world of sex trafficking and what she and her organization, Shared Hope International, are doing to fight it. Also joining us is Renu, a Nepalese girl whom Linda helped after Renu was rescued from a brothel overseas. Renu tells her incredible story of being sold into slavery, losing all hope, being found by Christ, and ultimately embracing redemption for herself and the brother who betrayed her.
I'm No Brad Pitt -- 50:44 We've talked about unattractive women, but what about the guy who feels he asks women out, but gets turned down repeatedly? Is it him, or are women looking through the wrong lens when searching for potential husbands? Steve, Suzanne and I help a listener separate fact from fiction on the subject of attraction.
Here's to the preborn. Here's to the elderly. Here's to everyone in between. Here's to life!
It's my first post of 2009! To kick off the new year with incredible professionalism, yesterday my coworker, Sara, and I bought glitter-filled bounce balls at Borders, which we promptly started bouncing at our desks, much to the annoyance of others in the office. We've even developed bounce "signals" for certain behaviors, inside jokes or comments, or when we feel the need for a coffee or snack break (which is, unfortunately, a bit too often). My bounce ball is of the "Magic 8 Ball" variety, having a cube inside with various responses to "yes" or "no" questions. This is especially exciting because it's the ghetto version, so the responses run along the lines of "True Dat," "Fo Sho" and "Not Gunna Hap'n." Sara and I have already determined the outcomes of the coming year thanks to Magic 8 Glitter Bounce Ball wisdom.
Seriously though, I've been thinking a lot about growth and change this week. Last week's sermon at church was on Genesis 2 and the all-too-familiar story of Adam and Eve taking matters into their own hands. We always use the front end of a new year to talk about how we're going to improve our lives, usually by implementing some amazing plan or program that promises to revolutionize us inside and out. But my pastor reminded me that my general failure at self-metamorphosis isn't due to a lack of willpower, but a lack of ability. True change happens only when God transforms us through His grace.
Oh.
So it's January 9th and the Magic 8 Glitter Bounce Ball has already failed me. Its answers were a bit vague and unhelpful. Instead I'm going to get further into God's Word and trust that not only does He actually know some stuff (um, like my entire life story, what's best for me, what my true hangups are beyond issues with meat and an unhealthy attachment to Bill Gaither), but He wants to change me for the better -- starting now. So today begins my "I'm Totally Incompetent But God Isn't" Change Challenge. Who's in?
Faith First! -- 00:00 The last installment in the Guy's Guide to Marrying Well series centers on spiritual compatibility. You no doubt know it's important, but how important is it? Is marrying a Christian enough, or are doctrine, church preferences and worship styles worth some thought as well? What about someone's spiritual maturity? Listen in as the team talks about evening up those pesky yokes!
Boomerang Living -- 22:03 John Thomas, of Boundless Answers and The Hungry Years fame, decided to visit Colorado. We lured him into the studio to talk about leaving your roots to launch a career, then returning home to start a family. What are the pros and cons? What was it like for him to live the big-city life, then pack up and return to his small hometown and ever-so-eager extended family? And what if you're about to marry someone and move to his or her turf? John gives us a lesson in trusting God when geography is involved.
Too Much, Too Soon? -- 45:38 She just got out of a relationship, and he wants to make his move. Is the timing right? And he has a few concerns ... should he put them all on the table immediately? Steve Watters joins me this week for the Inbox as we help Mr. All-Or-Nothing navigate what to say and do, and when to say and do it.
That's it, folks. Happy New Year -- I'm looking forward to seeing what God will do in us as we give up control in 2009. I asked the Magic 8 Glitter Bounce Ball if it's possible. The answer? "Word."
I've never been one for resolutions. But I do look forward to bringing in the new year with sparklers and a cup of cheer. My wife grew up with a tradition of clanging pots at midnight. Which seems terribly annoying. So I quashed that one.
Still, we'll be celebrating. And it's not because January 1st promises anything more than the day before. It's because our very calendar year, Anno Domini, marks 2009 years since "the year of Our Lord" and the hope we have in Him. Never mind the relatively recent invention of CE or Common Era. Dionysius Exiguus's calendar year of AD still reigns.
So Happy New Year! Praise God for his patience and common grace to all!
New Year's Resolutions -- 0:00 I tend to reflect more on the year that's coming to a close than the one that coming up. Most of my reflection centers on how I spent my time and treated others, particularly my family. Which, you could say, helps me prepare for the new year as I examine myself with a little hindsight.
Steve Watters, on the other hand, is a new year's resolutions setting, and accomplishing, machine (though he likes the term "goals" instead of "resolutions"). He's even written a couple of articles about it: "Goal-Setting and the Lake Effect" and "Clear Decks." And in this week's Roundtable, he offers some more great insights.
Oh, and you'll also want to hear about Ted's swimming and Suzanne's French Press resolutions.
Never Say Diet -- 11:36 It seems that most new year's resolutions have something to do with dieting and exercise. If it's part of yours, then you'll love this interview with Chantel Hobbs, author of Never Say Diet. Chantel shares her journey of how she revolutionized her heart and her habits and lost 200 pounds in the process.
Sophomore Smackdown -- 35:50 In this week's Hungry Years, John Thomas tells us what happens when you combine two skateboarding college students, an abandoned water slide, and a piece of gravel. It's one of my favorite John Thomas adventures. And I think it'll prove to be one of yours too.
Long Distance Beauty -- 43:05 How can a guy convince his gorgeous girlfriend that he loves her for more than just her looks? Listen to this week's Inbox, that's how.
I'm sitting next to my mom's Christmas tree in her home in Minnesota. Our family just got back from the Christmas service in the Pioneer Church, her church's original structure. Built in 1898 and used until 1920, it then alternated between standing vacant and serving as a grain bin for local farmers before it was recently restored and moved back to a corner of the church's property. The original pump organ was found, fixed and installed, as were the pulpit and hanging pulpit lantern. Now each Christmas, decendents of one of the original church families decorate the small building as it would have looked 100 years ago, complete with lanterns, candles, pine boughs, wheat sheaves and berry wreaths.
For tonight's service, the pastor dressed in period garb to deliver the Christmas message, and one of the junior high girls donned a traditional Norwegian costume belonging to my mother. It was a quiet and meaningful time of memories, carols, poetry and prayer.
Contrast this to my trip here. After plowing through a week of work, parties, shopping and general insanity, I stumbled through two airports in hopes of getting here before Christmas. A blizzard and a plane crash/fire (I was on the runway when that Continental flight crashed in Denver) almost detained me. This general 21st century mayhem was summarized when a man and his three-year-old daughter located their seats next to me on my final flight. After getting settled in, I quickly learned they were on their way to Grandma's. "What do you want to do first when you get there?", he prompted her, obviously thankful that I was showing interest, and no doubt hoping I'd help keep her entertained once en route. Clutching her doll and blanket, she looked up at us and said soberly, "Well, first I'll have to check my email."
I'm checking my own email a bit more than I planned to during my vacation. But tonight's service in the Pioneer Church reminded me to slow down. I think I'll do that the rest of this week, and I think I'll do that in 2009. I'll need help determining what that looks like for me. It will have to include some specifics. Any ideas, or does anyone else plan to do the same?
Christmas Favorites -- 00:00 One of the made-up games for which I'm known is "What's Your Favorite?" You basically say "What's your favorite...?" and select a category. Then everyone in the room has to say his or her favorite in that category. Pretty self-explanatory. I also add other elements and rules, but won't get into those here. Suffice it to say I drive my friends and family nuts with my no-holds-barred approach to this game. This week I ask the Boundless team for some of their Christmas favorites. Listen in and give us yours when you get a chance.
Peace on Earth -- 19:29 I just bought this new project from Casting Crowns. Love it. In honor of this, we're reairing my interview with Mark Hall. And because it's Christmas.
Driving Immanuel -- 34:04 John Thomas chauffeured Jesus? Not exactly, but he offers us a glimpse into the meaning of "Immanuel" as seen through everyday life. Sometimes God shows up in the most amazingly ordinary ways.
What If I’m Not “All That”? -- 41:29 Her friend is prettier, perkier and more outgoing. She's also (surprise, surprise) the center of attention, especially with guys. And of course, she's "not interested in any of them." So Ms. Wallflower is competing with a girl who's winning at a game she doesn't even care to play. Grrr. How does one solve this dilemma without slapping, biting and scratching? By asking Candice. And we do.
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