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The Honeymooners -- 00:00
The Boundless team is pleased to announce Mr. and Mrs. Matt Tucker! Matt and Karen dropped by on their honeymoon. That, my friends, is dedication. Lisa, Steve, and I talk to the Tuckers about meeting online, long-distance dating, intentionality, and the maple goodies they brought us all the way from Nova Scotia.
Secondhand Jesus -- 28:49
Glenn Packiam is back in the studio to talk about his book Secondhand Jesus. Glenn says that often times we rely on the "experts" to give us the cliff's notes version of their journey with God instead of walking with Him ourselves. He brings us back to a middle ground of using "well worn paths but engaging them for ourselves."
Shift Work Struggles -- 46:03
She works the night shift and it makes her feel disconnected from her family, friends, and church. What's worse is that the schedule is really draining and she snaps at the people she loves. Candice sympathizes with her sleep deprivation and feeling disconnected but reminds her that there's no excuse for unkind behavior -- even if you do have a terrible schedule.
Thanks to Anna Gilbert our featured musical artist. I've enjoyed listening to her music today. I think you will too.
Episode 75. Doesn't that sound noteworthy? I feel like we should have a toast or something. The thought of giving a toast makes me kind of nervous though. So scratch that. Maybe Lisa will post a toast-ish type comment. I bet she gives great toasts.
Take A Hike -- 00:00
Steve, Suzanne, Motte and I talk trails this week. Motte (a non-hiker) wants to know what makes for a good hike, what gear is essential, and why anyone would want to leave the comfort of their kitchen table and Wall Street Journal.
I should have corrected Motte during this segment. He referred to Steve and me as "avid" hikers. I wouldn't call myself avid. I like hiking. I've been known to spend a few days on the trail but I'm not the person you want to get lost in the woods with that's for sure (mostly because I have a flair for the dramatic and I tend to overreact a bit).
Case in point, there was this one time on the Appalachian Trial where I developed mild hypothermia from being rained on for three days and not eating because my hands were too numb to get into my pack. If I had been the guide, I would have sat down in the trail and cried myself to a cold hungry death. Fortunately, I was not the guide and I lived to tell about it.
Sex and the Soul -- 18:38
Donna Freitas, professor of Religion at Boston University, joins Lisa to talk about "juggling sexuality, spirituality, romance and religion" on today's college campuses. Donna's book Sex and the Soul draws on her countless interviews with students about the hook-up culture of America's college campuses. She says students at secular universities want out of the hook-up scene and students at religious universities want an open dialogue about sexuality.
Long Term Incompatibility -- 41:38
It's been three years and he still doesn't know if she's the one. They're really different. She's a dreamer and he's Mr. Practical. He isn't ready to marry any time soon and she's always wanted to marry young. Does she cut her losses and look for someone more marriage-minded or does she wait on him to make up his mind? Steve, Suzanne and Motte weigh in.
And before I sign off, thanks to Silent Substitute for their musical contribution to this week's podcast. You'll be hearing a couple tunes from their EP Do Make Room.
You're How Old? -- 00:00
Age differences. You've read about it on the blog and now we're bringing it to the roundtable. Ted and Suzanne brought in their "others" Ashleigh and Kevin to talk about their age difference experience. If you're wondering how to deal with an age gap, these two couples have a great perspective so listen in.
Jeff Caylor -- 27:07
For this week's culture segment we have our good friend Jeff Caylor on the line from Hong Kong to talk about his new album What Birds Dream, his upcoming nuptials and Michael Jackson cover songs. Jeff is not only our culture guest but also our featured musical artist.
He Likes me, He Likes me Not -- 47:17
He texts, he flirts, he asks her to coffee and then ... nothing. You know that story, the one with the guy who acts like he likes the girl but then for some unknown reason he stops talking to her. Apparently this guy can't make up his mind and she wants to know what to do about it. Does she call him out? Can they still be friends? Suzanne and Lisa give some been-there-done-that advice.
Ted brought his Flip videocamera to the studio this week, catching us as we prepared for the recording. Check it out:
Ashley had to fly to Virginia for bridesmaid duty and Lisa is in some sort of media spokesperson training so the podcast blog is up to me today. Which stinks because I had absolutely nothing to contribute to this week's roundtable on being a good groomsman or bridesmaid. But don't let that dissuade you from listening because the other three slayed the segment, especially Lisa who sent me this email when we landed on the topic:
"How to be a good bridesmaid = put your life on hold, empty your bank account and act like a slave."
She backs up that sentiment with a couple of stories from her bridesmaid experiences.
Improving the Wedding Party -- 00:00
I've been a groomsman four times in my life. But it was the groomsmen at my own wedding who taught me what being a good groomsman really means. And it's more than just escorting mothers and lighting candles. One in particular, my father, prevented a AFV type moment with a simple wink.
Dr. Mohler's New Book -- 21:50
Simply put, Dr. Albert Mohler is da bom. This week he joins us by phone to discuss his new book The Disappearance of God: Dangerous Beliefs in the New Spiritual Openness. Here Dr. Mohler talks about the disappearance of hellfire and brimstone preaching and church discipline. And, as a bonus, Dr. Mohler shares his reaction to the murder of late-term abortionist George Tiller.
Why Try? -- 39:51
You won't want to miss this week's question from a young woman who feels called to singleness and asks if she needs to wear make-up or otherwise make herself beautiful. Candice Watters tackles this one from a perspective of stewardship. To find out how, listen now.
Finally, I want to thank independent artist Zach Dodd for providing this week's music from his cd Children Without Names. I've enjoyed listening to it all week and think it's a great enhancement to the show.
Jeff Caylor is our featured musical artist this week. He's a favorite of the Boundless Show. If you're not familiar with Jeff's music go back and read the twitterview we did with him last month about his new album What Birds Dream.
Tweet Tweet -- 00:00
Boundless is on twitter. We've blogged about it and shamelessly asked you to follow us. This week Lisa, Motte, Steve, and I discuss the pros and cons of twittering. Is it worth the time investment? What's the point? Should you twitter in church? We'll tackle all these questions and more. In the meantime, you can check out the Boundless twitter and well as Motte, Candice, Steve, and Lisa's individual twitters.
Singleness Redefined -- 16:53
Lisa got Carolyn Leutwiler from Redeemer Presbyterian author of Singleness Redefined on the line to talk about Dolce and Gabbana how God's word transformed her unsatisfied single-life to one of "productivity and fullness." You can learn more about Carolyn and her book on her website.
What's THAT Noise? -- 37:53
I need to preface this segment with a word: awkward. That's what I thought this week's inbox was going to be. One of our listeners lives in an apartment with thin walls. And he often and at odd hours hears his neighbors...uh...well, having sex. Not only does it interrupt his sleep but it's tempting him to lust. Motte shares some advice from his experience as an apartment dweller and does it in a way that's less awkward than I had anticipated.
Summertime Hospitality -- 00:00
Motte wanted this segment to be named "Summer, Summer, Summertime" after a Will Smith lyric. I'd never heard that particular tune, so I went with Summertime Hospitality. Just out of curiosity, have any of you heard it?
For this week's roundtable Steve, Motte, Lisa and I talk about summer parties and the art and heart of hosting. It seems Lisa and Motte have a flair for theme parties. So if you're missing your weekly TV shows now that the season's over, don't be sad. Motte will give you tips on how to host a TV show themed party that will tide you over until the Fall season premiere.
Everlife Music -- 21:26
The ladies from Everlife join Lisa via speaker phone (the sound on this interview is surprisingly good for speaker phone). They talk about everything from beef jerky to faith to life on the road. In addition to being our guests for the culture segment they are also our featured musical artists. You can listen to more of their music here.
A Girl's Guide -- 46:12
It's almost here! We picked the cover art and sent it to the designer last week. Thanks to all of you who wrote in your comments and suggestions for the content. For the inbox this week I sit down with Lisa to give her and you the scoop about what to expect from this upcoming Boundless production.
Our featured musical artist this week is Heather Mangum. Her husband Matt and I had some trouble trying to get her permission form faxed. (I'm pretty sure faxes are the moodiest machines ever.) But let me tell ya, it was worth it. I love Heather's music and I'm moved by the passion I hear in her voice.
Sex and Violence in Movies -- 00:00
One of our East Coast listeners called in to ask some follow-up questions to our inbox in episode 63 about men and media discernment. Her Sunday school class listened to the segment (how cool) and the fellas didn't think it was very fair to have two women talking about men's media choices. So we brought the question to the Boundless roundtable to get the male perspective.
Holy Available -- 21:40
Back in February when Gary Thomas was in town for the Focus on Marriage simulcast Steve and Candice were able to snag a half hour with him to talk about his book Holy Available which is available in stores this month. I heard Gary Thomas speak at the marriage simulcast the day after they taped this interview. I hope I never forget something he said. He said that we should view God as our Heavenly Father-in-law. I had been engaged for less than a week at the time and as I've written before I wasn't in the running for the fiancee of the year award. I remember being so ashamed before my (soon to be) Heavenly Father-in-law for how I was treating his son. I'm thankful for the times when God brings that illustration, that eternal perspective, back to mind in the middle of a fight. Like Gary's talk at the marriage simulcast, his interview is also full of humbling and gaze-altering insights.
Pick-up Lines -- 44:06
Between Lisa and Tom there's been a whole heap of talk about pick-up lines on the blog this week. You guys had so much to say about them that we decided to continue the conversation on the podcast. If you listen to the inbox segment you'll figure out pretty quickly that I'm not a fan of pick-up lines. I'm a bit partial to the good ol' "Hi, my name is ______. What's yours?" It's like a little black dress. Never goes out of style. Even though I don't think it's a great way to get to know someone, I do have a favorite pick-up line. Wanna hear it? Okay, here it is: Are you from Tennessee? 'Cause your the only ten I see. Gets me every time.
This week's featured musical artist is Stevvi Alexander. She's gone solo after an extensive career as a backup singer for artists Diana Ross, Justin Timberlake, and Sheryl Crow just to name a few. (You should check our her resume. I was fascinated just looking at all the artists she's backed.)
3 Truths and a Lie -- 00:00
We had a fun time in the studio this week. One of our loyal listeners Janice wrote in with the idea of a 3 Truths and a Lie roundtable. Lisa, Motte, Ted, and Steve went around the table with their stories and Janice called in to guess the lie. Do you have any roundtable ideas? Send them to us and if we choose yours we'll give you a call, a prize, or a shout out on the blog.
Kevin DeYoung Part 2 -- 16:55
It's time for round two with Kevin DeYoung. If you didn't catch the first part you can listen to it here. Motte and Steve talk to Kevin about his book Just Do Something. And guess what. He thinks most people are marrying too late in life. No wonder Boundless likes him! Seriously though, Kevin's book is full of common sense wisdom and Biblical insights -- a lot like his interview.
Losing Touch -- 39:27
She just moved to a new city, started a new job, is investing in new relationships and just doesn't have time for old friendships. She's doesn't want to lose her long-distance friends but she doesn't have the energy to put into them. Maybe it's time for her to whittle down her friend list or maybe she needs her old friends more than ever. Listen in as Lisa and Suzanne share their friendship wisdom.
Have a question for the Boundless Show? E-mail your questions to editor@boundless.org.
This week's featured artist is Gabriel. You'll be hearing tracks from his solo debut album "I Need You." Check out his site to learn more about his music.
Spring is In the Air -- 00:00
Is it just me or does Spring stir up just as much romance as it does pollen? (It seems that all I do these days is complain about my allergies and gush about my fiance. I bet both drive my co-workers crazy.) I'm sure you've noticed in your singles group or on your college campus that relationships seem to surface this time of year. Lisa asks Steve, Suzanne, and I what the deal is with Spring love.
Summer Blockbusters -- 20:49
Welcome Back Bob! It's been a while since Bob joined us in the studio, but he's back this week to give us the scoop on summer blockbusters. You'll get the rundown on summer hits from Earth to X-Men Origins.
Segregated Singles -- 32:45
She feels like her church segregates the singles. I know other Boundless readers have voiced similar woes. If you can relate and want to know what to do about it, listen to Steve and Lisa's creative ideas to bring different church demographics together.
This week's featured musical artist is Camila Aguilar. Her album "Compelled" is indeed compelling with a "fusion of pop/rock, funk, jazz, and Latin styles." You can hear more of her music here.
Miss California Said What? -- 00:00
Motte, Lisa, and I gather round the the mikes to talk about Carrie Prejean, Perez Hilton and a bill that you'll want to be aware of. Lisa even manages to bring it back to the bottom line: relationships.
A Visit with Kevin DeYoung Part 1 -- 26:28
Motte and Steve interview Kevin DeYoung about his new book Just Do Something. You may remember Kevin's last interview about his previous book Why We're Not Emergent. I had the chance to read a phenomenal excerpt from his book about God's will in work and wedlock. Two thumbs way up. Speaking of God's will, our article today has some similar themes as Kevin's interview. If you like the interview be sure to check out All God's Callings.
Maintaining Emotional Balance -- 47:01
Suzanne and Lisa give some balanced advice to Brenda who's worried she's going "too deep too fast" with her new beau. If you have the same tendency, listen up because Suzanne is on her A-game.
My small group just finished Effective Stewardship. It's a 5 part series that takes a holistic look at our role as stewards in God's Kingdom. This week we have the host of Effective Stewardship, Dave Stotts on the Boundless Show. Dave's humor and sincerity really brought the Effective Stewardship series home for me. I think you'll see what I mean as he tells us a little about his other project Drive Thru History.
Our musical guest this week is justpassingthru. They're an idie band with a pretty eclectic style. You can check them out here.
Lives Changed II -- 00:00
Gary, Nima, and Devon join us again for part 2 of last week's testimony roundtable. This week we get to listen in as they continue to tell their stories. Gary even divulges a secret that only his wife knows. I don't know about you, but I love a good secret!
Driving Mr. Stotts -- 26:28
Dave Stotts sits down with Lisa to talk about his DVD series Drive Thru History. He tells us about how the whole thing started in while he was goofing off in an international airport. Dave shares his love for History and his heart to fill in the gaps that we didn't learn in History class.
Hi, Mom II -- 47:10
Lisa's Mom is with us again this week. I teared up listening to Mrs. Anderson talk about raising children on the mission field, losing her husband of 50 years, and her anticipation of the coming of our Lord. Mrs. Anderson ends Episode 66 by telling us that living the Christian life is worth it. There is something very reassuring about to me about a believer 60 years ahead saying "keep going; it's worth it." Thanks Dorthy.
One of my favorite hymns is "He Giveth More Grace." I've always liked the song, but developed a special affection for it when I discovered it was written by Annie Johnson Flint, a woman living in New Jersey during the late 19th and early 20th centuries. She was single and suffered from rheumatoid arthritis, two things she and I share. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis about eight years ago, and when giving my diagnosis, my doctor said, "There is no cure for rheumatoid arthritis. We're not even close to a cure. And many people die early from this disease." I endured about three years of increased pain and debilitation before starting some of the latest drugs for RA, drugs that in my opinion are miraculous. Because of them, I have regained function in all of my joints, have stopped the progression of the disease, and live (most days) with little or no pain.
Annie couldn't benefit from 21st-century breakthroughs, and was instead bedridden most of her life as her joints became stiff and twisted. She couldn't care for herself, and depended on the kindness of others. But in the midst of this, she was described as "cheerful and optimistic, and always fond of a good joke." Annie wrote numerous poems, letters and hymns from her bed, including "He Giveth More Grace":
He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
 This hymn has come to mind again in the past few days. My mom, whom you'll hear in this episode, ended up in the ER three times the other day with a nosebleed that the doctors couldn't get to stop. She was admitted to the hospital, and then released yesterday with foam packing in her nose going all the way back to her brain. Her trip home was postponed, and she is now with me until the doctor removes the packing on Monday, and we go from there. The trauma of this caused some panic attacks on her part, so she was sedated, and I have to keep a very close eye on her. It's mind-boggling to think that just a few days ago she and I were out shopping and reliving the fun times we had during her visit.
To top it all off, a city water main broke outside my house, flooding the area and leaving me with no usable water. So as I moved about the house yesterday picking up bloody rags, washing bloody clothes, organizing my mom's meds and trying to talk her out of calling 911 because she was convinced she was dying, I thought of Annie and the words of this song. Imagine that -- even when we're at our worst, God's grace is all-sufficient. In fact, it's barely tapped. God's scarcely lifting a finger when he comes to our aid during some of life's worst trials. Caring for our needs is child's play to him.
After a very bad night and morning, my mom woke up from a nap relatively lucid and positive. She showered, ate the lunch I fixed her, and is napping again. Monday can't come soon enough, but it will come. And until then, God's grace is sufficient. It's a privilege for me to care for my mom during this time. And what an encouragement to know that while I do that, God is caring for me.
Changed by the Gospel -- 00:00
Three friends of mine join me in the studio to share how God took their aimless, self-destructive lives and replaced them with new lives in Christ. This is the first of a two-part discussion on what it means to be a new creation, even if the path getting there has some twists and turns.
Michael W. Smith's New Hallelujah -- 25:10
Where were you when the Columbine shootings occurred? Believe it or not, they happened ten years ago, April 20, 1999, at the suburban Denver high school that has unwillingly become an icon of senseless tragedy. Focus staffers (and MWS groupies) Sara and Jennifer interview CCM pioneer Michael W. Smith this week in honor of his tribute to one of the victims, Cassie Bernall, a song titled "This Is Your Time." We learn here about his latest project, A New Hallelujah, from which this week's featured music comes.
Introducing Dorothy Anderson -- 39:03
She's here! I finally convinced my mom to sit down in front of a mic and look back on her 80 years of life. She was a champion swimmer, missionary, pastor's wife and corporate executive in a life story that is peppered with both laughter and tears. She shares some of the wisdom she's gleaned from being in the trenches. Part 1 of 2.
I'm feeling a little sick right now. I just ate at a green speckled Jelly Belly. I think it was wasabi. Is there such a thing as a wasabi Jelly bean? What sicko thought of that? It may take a whole snickers to get that taste out of my mouth.
Speaking of sweets, I'm glad to inform you that I'm over Splenda. I snuck some in my coffee yesterday and I had to pour out the whole cup. My taste buds finally recognize it as the imitation it really is. Victory is sweet. I would like to thank God, the Academy, and my fiance who has taken away my Splenda packets in my weaker moments.
Okay, down to business. We have a great line up for this week's podcast. Lisa is on vacation, so Motte's filling in as our host. Our musical guest is indie band Journey Home.
Dating Q&A 2 -- 00:00
If you enjoyed last week's Q&A round table, you're going to love part 2. The team tackles three listener questions about long-distance dating, marriage time lines, and family baggage.
Personal Faith, Public Policy -- 13:45
There's been a steady flow of political posts on the blog the past couple of days. Thanks for joining the discussion. To give us a greater framework for our political discourse, Tony Perkins President of the Family Research Council joins us to talk about personal faith and public policy. This is an interview you will not want to miss no matter where you fall on the political spectrum.
To Marry in College-- 40:33
She wants some suggestions about getting married in college. Her fiance is about to start med school and she has two more years of undergrad. Steve and Motte help them count the cost of their decision and offer some strategic advice about how to make it through med school and marriage. And since all the smart stuff had been said, I point out the importance of not expecting to have a Pottery Barn sofa in your married student housing apartment. You may think it's silly, but if she's anything like me, it needed to be said.
First, I must thank all of the bold and intentional men who stepped up and proposed to me Wednesday over on the Boundful blog. I appreciate your care and concern, especially in regard to me losing my position as host of The Boundless Show given my protracted singleness. Yes, it was all a grand April Fool's joke, but I know the proposals were submitted in good faith, so I'll be sifting through the offers and making a decision soon.
The competition is stiff now that the Apostle Paul threw his hat in the ring. Paul, are you saying the stonings, shipwrecks and snakebites will become less frequent upon us marrying? Because quite frankly, I'm not sure I want that added drama in my life. Plus, I question whether I can join you in tentmaking. I made an apron in Home Ec. in middle school, and found the project extremely challenging. I ironed it beautifully, though, if that counts.
In other news, I discovered this week that the best way to get your theological and wisdom-needed-here questions answered is to invite the president of a seminary to dinner. My friends and I did that on Tuesday, hosting our friend Dr. Dominic Aquila, president of New Geneva Seminary, for a no-holds-barred time of Q&A spanning both the sacred and profane. Questions covered predestination, birth control, Biblical divorce, charismatic gifts, New Calvinism, vocation, the Rapture and, of course, relationships, marriage and singleness. I learned some stuff, and am convinced we'll have to bring Dr. A on the show to "open the scrolls" and clear up some of life's mysteries -- things like "What will Heaven be like?" "Can we trust God in the silences?" and "How did Lady Gaga ever get a record deal?"
What burning questions do you have for which you'd like an answer?
It's All About You -- 00:00
Speaking of Q&As, we heard your cries. Y'all have asked us to do a Q&A-based show. So we did. This week and next the team tackles your questions on the theme of dating (shocking!). Listen in and learn.
Jonny Diaz and a More Beautiful You -- 14:56
He wanted to play baseball, but God put a guitar in his hand during college, and now he has the fastest-growing song in Christian music. Jonny Diaz joins me in the studio for a look at his music and the stories behind it, including his reason for singing directly to women in the new hit single, "More Beautiful You."
Be Careful Little Eyes What You See -- 38:31
Can guys "handle" more graphic content than women when it comes to entertainment? Should they? A listener is concerned about the entertainment choices of some of the men in her circle, but doesn't want to judge them if in fact it's just a "guy thing." Candice and I talk bullets, babes and f-bombs for this week's Inbox.
Oooh, by the way, I interviewed my mom this week for the show. Not sure when we'll run it, but I'll keep you posted. She was concerned that she hadn't gotten her hair done until I reminded her that The Boundless Showis an audio product. Bless her heart. I'm still learnin' her on what this thing is all about.
Focus on the Family is closed today due to snow, so I'm livin' the dream -- typing away in my PJs with coffee at my elbow and white fluffy flakes falling softly outside (last night they weren't falling softly...more like sideways). Yesterday afternoon I saw three guys ski down my street. It reminded me of how much fun snow can be.
But this morning I called my family near Fargo, North Dakota, and was reminded that sometimes snow is not fun. As you probably know, Fargo and surrounding areas are experiencing unprecedented flooding. Record autumn rainfall plus record winter snowfall plus a sudden March thaw plus the convergence of three rivers -- the Red, Cheyenne and Wild Rice -- has created a problem that is mirroring what happened there in 1997, only worse.
Much of Fargo and its twin city, Moorhead, is being evacuated. My sister's father-in-law was evacuated from his assisted living residence and is now with my sister and her husband. Another sister is safe at her place, but will attempt to fly here tomorrow morning, and we don't know if she'll get out (or in, for that matter, with the snow accumulation in Denver). Only a field separates my mom's house from the Red River, and water is surging across the already saturated dirt toward her back door. The Red is expected to crest at a record 43' on Saturday, and residents are currently building sandbag walls of over 40' to protect property.
Yesterday they evacuated Fargo's largest hospital of patients who are too weak or immobile to move at a moment's notice. Patients were airlifted to hospitals around the midwest, some in critical condition with doctors at their sides. The interstate is closed, as are several other major highways leading into the Fargo-Moorhead area, leaving many people stranded. A family friend had a medical emergency the other night, and members of his church had to transport him via boat across several fields in order to reach a patch of highway that could get him to the nearest emergency room.
My pastor mentioned in a recent sermon that because of the Fall, even nature conspires to kill us. I didn't like that when I heard it. After all, I'm the girl who loves thunderstorms and 5-foot snow drifts. But it's true. Once Adam and Eve got kicked out of the Garden, nature was unleashed. We need houses and cars to protect us not merely from getting wet or having windblown hair, but from perishing. Everything we do is an act of self-preservation. He went on to explain that everything in our world is tainted by sin: our environment, our social structures, our minds, our motives and our hearts. Only by God's grace does sin not completely destroy us.
Sometimes we get a bit too comfy here on Earth. We become used to the coffee-and-PJs scenario without recognizing the impending flood. Fortunately, my mom is here to remind me that Christ's return is imminent. She's ready for it, and speaks of it often. She doesn't care much about her house. I asked her what's in her basement, and she doesn't really know. She doesn't care. Everything she cares about is with Jesus. It's a good reminder as I nurse my anger toward my plummeting retirement funds, rising utility bills, stuffy (again) nose and less-than-satisfactory circumstances and opportunities. I'm a little too concerned about me, quite frankly.
Mary Ann, a woman in my mom's town, made the news the other day. Her house was flooding, and volunteers were working around the clock to save it. The reporter asked her if her home will survive. "Absolutely," she said. "And so will we. It's just stuff."
A lot of my life is "just stuff," and I occasionally need a jarring reality check (a la natural disaster) to remember how to use my time to best worship God, love others and, as my pastor says, "push back the effects of the Fall." A tall order, but it's time to get out of my PJs and start.
Employee Ethics -- 00:00
Workplace integrity is the talk of today's Roundtable segment. Whether it's Facebooking, shopping or checking scores on company time, or coming in late/leaving early, where do you draw the line? The team argues over the new trend in "results-oriented" workplaces and where that fits with an old-fashioned thing called responsibility.
Christian Classics with Challies -- 24:11
Popular blogger Tim Challies joins me to discuss his short list of Christian classics. And no, we're not talking Your Best Life Now. We're talking old-school texts that influenced some of today's best Christian thinkers and theologians. We also throw in a couple current reads to satisfy you contemporary types.
Claim Jumper -- 41:36
She thinks a guy in her church likes her, but her friend likes him, too, and wants to stake a claim. Um? Is Mr. "I Don't Know If He's That Into Me" off-limits due to the friendship rule, or does her friend need to get a grip?
I got tagged in that "20 Albums" note on Facebook this week. This is, like the "25 Random Things" note, another opportunity for FB-ers to shamelessly trumpet our preferences and accompanying personal anecdotes to anyone who will read them. I think about 4.3 billion people worldwide have completed the "25 Random Things" list, not counting babies and some cattle. I truly believe that if government, insurance companies, banks and the American consumer put as much effort into our financial woes as we have in our respective "random" lists, we'd turn the economy around. But instead of balancing our checkbooks or paying off credit cards, we post Facebook notes and hope that friends (and let's be honest, strangers) will peruse them, even if as a stalling tactic to avoid cleaning the toilet, doing calculus or being subjected to an experimental medical procedure.
And so I sat down the other evening and agonizingly selected 20 music albums that, according to the note's instructions, "shaped my world." This descriptor may be a bit much. I mean, I've had food items "shape my world," but Elvis or U2 or Amy Grant can't quite compare to an amaretto cream puff cake with chocolate glaze, can they?
That said, I did my best, and listed artists like Keith Green, Eva Cassidy and Keane. The Gaithers made the list twice. Even Sesame Street (I love Grover!) appears. I posted my list, and the comments started popping up. (People are reading my list! They're writing down my albums and rushing to iTunes to purchase them! They're imagining how spunky I was in junior high! They think I'm awesome!) No, not really, but when someone says, "I like #12," I know this is what he means.
Actually, I re-read my list this morning, and wish I had some cooler bands on there. No one said they have a new respect for me due to my love of Sandi Patti. I have friends who have super-cool music taste. They know bands before the bands even form. They know the bands that play in bars, clubs and alleys for less than ten people. They amaze people with their music awesomeness. I'm not really one of these people. But if you read my list, you'll see a little piece of me. And I'm reading friends' lists and seeing a piece of them. And then I'm praying for them because their lists include bands like Poison, Ace of Base and Rage of Angels.
March Madness -- 00:00
Four guys sit at the table with me this week to talk about basketball........sorry, I just dozed off for a minute.........ok, I'm back. Actually, I learned a few things in this week's roundtable, like which teams are on top, that brackets aren't only for shelves, and that sports can actually be a fun and bonding time for folks, especially guys. As long as they don't get too crazy, like those sketchy single women who watch The Bachelor with a box of Milk Duds.
When Love's In View -- 22:06
He couldn't think of five godly, eligible guys in his church to recommend to a single female friend. Before he knew it, he was in charge of the singles ministry there. Dr. Conway Edwards and his wife, Jada, served at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas before leaving to plant a church. While there, they saw a lot of the ups and downs of singleness, especially regarding relationships, and wrote a book called When Love's In View to help their single friends navigate the terrain. They join me with some great counsel for singles and the people who love them.
Messy Margins -- 51:32
She can't keep up. How does she make time for important friendships and activities, but still stay on top of schoolwork and chores? Suzanne's with me to help our listener cut through the clutter and build some margin into her life.
Oooh, I haven't checked my FB page in almost 4 minutes. Gotta go see if I have any more comments!
My mom is 80 years old today. As most of you know, she arrived last week from Minnesota for a six-week visit. Her intent was to escape the remainder of winter there, which generally includes sub-zero temps, four-foot-high snow drifts and ten-pound winter weight gains. She came to work with me today, as it's our monthly chapel service, and she is a rabid Focus on the Family groupie. We picked up three dozen donuts for my department to celebrate her big day, and she held court at a conference table as my coworkers came to grab a donut and meet her. Of course they've heard many of my stories, so needed to see the subject of them "in the flesh."
My mom keeps saying that she doesn't know where the time has gone. "How did I get to be 80 all of a sudden?" she asked this morning. On our way to work, she mused, "I remember hearing Pop-Pop say that when I was born (she's the firstborn), he ran down the street yelling, 'I have a daughter! I have a daughter!'"
My mom has lived a lot of life since that day in 1929. Originally from Connecticut, she trained as an Olympic swimmer, graduated from seminary, married my dad, raised six kids (doing the best job with the youngest, obviously), moved to the Philippines as a missionary, moved back to the States as a pastor's wife, joined corporate America as a telecom exec in Northern California, retired to Minnesota, lost the love of her life after 50 years of marriage, and now reads like a madwoman (I think she read all of Joel Rosenberg's books in three weeks), follows current events, studies the End Times, and prays boldly (desperately?) for her daughter to find a husband. (And then tells the daughter to "be friendly" in social settings where men are present. This has so far proved unhelpful. Maybe "be interesting" or "be quiet" would yield better results.)
She's excited about her 80-year milestone, but has asked the Lord to take her Home before she turns 85, because "by the time you're 85, you just look old and start losing it." Um, ok. How about if we just see what God has for you, Mom? God has used my mom to encourage and bless many people throughout her life, including me. Much of who I am today is because of her. I don't think God's done with her quite yet. But when He's ready for her to join the crowd in Heaven, I know she'll be ready, too.
Dobson Passes the Baton -- 00:00
Speaking of God using people, Dr. Dobson has resigned as chairman of Focus on the Family, the ministry he founded 32 years ago in a small office with a part-time secretary. We talk about his legacy and what the future looks like for the largest Christian organization in the world dedicated to helping families thrive.
Mr. Independent -- 22:09
Keith Mohr founded Indieheaven.com, an online store and resource/community for independent Christian music artists. He joins the show for a peek into the world of indie music, and shares candidly what it's like to pursue a calling, not knowing exactly where it will lead.
Eat Your Carats -- 41:26
She knows the ring is coming, but is afraid it won't be what she hopes for. Should she encourage her bf to give her a band until he can gift her with the stone of her dreams? Candice and I dish a balanced perspective on this touchy subject, and shed some light on navigating the world of a "girl's best friend."
My mom just picked up her third donut, so I need to get her out of here. I asked where she'd like to go for a special birthday lunch. Her answer: McDonald's. Lisa's family = all class, all the time. Happy 80th, Mom!
Raise your hand if you watched the season finale of The Bachelor. I did, but I blame it entirely on my coworkers. They got me sucked in, albeit only in mid-season. If you watch reality TV, you know that, like daytime soaps, you only need to watch an episode every 15 years to keep up. Though one summer in junior high, I got so addicted to The Young and the Restless that I called the show's plot hotline whenever I missed a show. Let's just say the Lord has done a work in my heart since then (Bachelor regression aside).
I watched the Bachelor finale at my friend Julie's house. We sat with coffee, chips and Milk Duds and prepared to offer up three hours of our lives on the altar of Complete Lameness, knowing that we'd never get that time back. We sat on the couch and watched Melissa and Molly reunite with Jason, then meet Ty, then meet the rest of Jason's family. We offered insightful and witty commentary for all of this. But then, as all of America and most third world countries now know, Jason dissed Molly and proposed to Melissa, and then on national TV, on a set that looked prepped more for a seance than a DTR, Jason dumped Melissa and (gasp!) went back to Molly.
Julie and I were on the floor at this point (the Milk Duds were long gone). We noticed that we had clasped hands, and had our free hands clapped firmly over our mouths. Julie's husband was texting his friend a running report of our craziness and how he was concerned for our emotional and mental health. When we thought we couldn't take it anymore, Melissa stormed off the stage, got into the waiting limo, and said (unless I was high on caffeine and sugar, which is entirely possible), some pretty interesting things.
I remember her saying that Jason "did not fight for their relationship." He proposed, but then said the "chemistry changed," and he started thinking of Molly and what could have been. And so he started pulling away, according to Melissa. She mentioned the sadness of being dumped yet again by a guy she felt she trusted. One whom she thought was being honest in saying he wanted to pursue a relationship with her...for life. And she finished by saying something which I thought was very insightful and sad. She said she wished he hadn't proposed. "Getting engaged is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and he took that away from me," she said. Obviously it's not over 'til it's over and the commitment is sealed, but still, I thought that was a true and heartwrenching statement from a girl who up to that point was known primarily as an ex-professional cheerleader with a tan and a toothy grin.
The lessons here are worth mentioning:
1) Don't ever go on The Bachelor
2) Don't accept a proposal from someone who made out with someone else less than 4 hours prior
3) Don't use lines like "I don't know how this happened," "I can't control my head or my heart" and "It's not you, it's me" when breaking up with someone
4) Don't propose unless you mean it, and know that if an engagement has to be broken, it should be for something bigger than "a change in chemistry"
5) Avoid points 1-4 by following guidelines for Biblical dating as outlined by Boundless
My mom, who knows far too much about The Bachelor (though mercifully just from Jason's appearances on morning talk shows), summed it up best: "These people are crazy! What is their problem?!" The problem is that there's a lot of whack relationship stuff going on out there. But despite it all, people still want to be loved, and they still want a lifelong commitment that attests to that. People go on reality TV shows because of it. We should remember that, and do our best to esteem marriage and getting to marriage. To that end:
Straight Talk To Single Women, Part 2 -- 00:00
Here's the second half of the conversation between Dr. Juli Slattery, Candice and myself about being a single woman who hopes (and prays) for marriage. In this half we talk about the very real call of marriage, whether or not serving God "puts marriage on hold," and grieving the losses associated with singleness.
Texting and Twittering With Dr. Mohler -- 24:48
We snagged Dr. Mohler while he was here for the Focus board meetings, and put him on a mic to talk about Christians and new media. What do evangelicals do well, and how can we improve our use of new technologies? And in the midst of it all, how do we know when to drop the Crackberries in an effort to preserve real relationships?
Can I Afford To Marry? -- 47:06
Our economy stinks. We know that. But does it stink enough to say "no" to marriage until the markets improve? Steve and I address a listener who is not sure he can afford to marry right now. His concerns are valid, so we do our best to offer principled and practical advice on the balance of love and money.
Have a great week, everyone. I'm off to Anne Graham Lotz' Pursuing More of Jesus conference this weekend. Maybe that will provide something more edifying for me to write about next week. Maybe. :)
Update: You guys rock. We just broke the iTunes top 100 podcasts in the "Christianity" category and we received 7 new reviews. Thanks for helping get the word out.
* * *
 Do you love the Boundless podcast? Do you? Then others will too. And you owe it to them to share your joy.
If you are one of the tens of listeners (just kidding ... sort of) to the Boundless podcast, here are a few things you can do to help us promote the show.
1) Subscribe through iTunes. Even if it's not your preferred media choice, new subscribers help our ranking. Which increases our visibility. Which may lead to new listeners.
2) After you've subscribed, take a minute to leave a review and a five star rating. Because we deserve it.
3) Link to our RSS feed from your blog. Just go here and follow the instructions.
4) Update your Facebook and Twitter pages as you're listening to the podcast (everytime) and include this link -- www.boundless.typepad.com/podcast. For example, "Motte Brown is listening to the Boundless podcast. It's the best podcast ever. (place link here)." Or something like that.
5) Get 10 friends to follow steps 1, 2, 3 and 4. Or just getting them to listen to show would be great too.
And feel free to submit your own promotional ideas in the comments section. If we've missed something, let us know.
Well, I'm busy. This could be because Dr. Dobson announced his resignationas chairman of the board of Focus on the Family today. The fact that I'm on Focus' media team means that actions such as this signal short-term craziness for me. From the time the announcement was made in our monthly employee chapel service this morning, I've been on the phone nonstop, setting up interviews, sending out our news release and -- in poorly-chosen high heels, mind you -- walking photogs around the campus for strategic shots. But it's good. All in a day's work.
I didn't have time for lunch, so I foolishly downed a Monster Energydrink and some Now & Laters instead, and am feeling a bit jittery. I just emerged from our news conference where Dr. Dobson and Focus President/CEO Jim Daly spoke to local news outlets about the decision. Both Dr. Dobson and Jim assured folks that Focus will remain committed to its founding principles while at the same time striving to effectively meet the needs of families worldwide.
It's fun to be part of something big like this. I'm in the middle of a little bit of history. Never did I imagine, sitting in my college journalism classes years and years ago, that one day I'd be on the phone with CNN, FoxNews, NPR and others talking about why it's important to help families thrive. And why the Bible models the best way in which to do this. It makes me think of the task before us. The world isn't getting any less hostile to Christians, and the culture isn't cleaning up its act. But God is still God, and because He's in charge, founders of ministries can relinquish some operational control and everything's still ok. Yay!
And now on to the show. Each segment this week has a unique take on different relationships and their issues:
Straight Talk for Single Women -- 00:00
Candice and I are in the hot seat(s) as Dr. Juli Slattery, Focus' family psychologist, asks us to get real about women and singleness. Shouldn't we be content where we are? Are we supposed to be this "active" in desiring marriage? How do we encourage women as women, regardless of their marital status? Dr. Slattery's skepticism takes Candice to task. And I speak up as the single girl.
Friends and Adversaries -- 26:46
Glenn Stanton is straight. John Corvino is gay. Glenn is a Christian. John is an atheist. These men are friends, and regularly debate the subject of same-sex marriage on college campuses around the nation. When they're not debating, they talk about life, faith, family and everything in between. Listen in as Glenn shares what it's like to cultivate a friendship when both parties disagree on many things, but are determined to continue the conversation despite it all.
Living With Your BFF -- 51:00
Should best friends be roommates, or is that a recipe for unspeakable drama? If you're already in one another's lives, should you also be in each other's laundry? Suzanne Hadley sits down with me this week to relive our own roomie-filled pasts, and together we uncover the heartwarming and hair-pulling aspects of living with someone who knows you (too) well.
Time for me to go home. It's been a long and tiring day. I need to kick off the heels and eat something with nutrients before gearing up for a busy weekend. I'm back here tomorrow to handle media for our national marriage simulcast. In order to impress Candice, at some point I'll rush the stage, grab a mic and throw out my phone number. Sure, most attendees will be married, but they have single friends...
I am in the process of getting my life together. Well, at least the tangibles. As many of you know, I'm having my fence replaced. The old fence was torn down on Wednesday, and the new fence should go up today. This project is occurring in conjunction with other tasks, all designed to reduce the entropy in my life. I don't know much about science, but one thing I remember from high school chemistry is the fact that everything moves toward a state of disorder (entropy). I regularly schedule Reduction of Entropy (ROE) Days to get back on track. I took Wednesday off, and while the friendly fence guys were hard at work, I proceeded to pay bills, gather tax records, test my home alarm system (after renewing the contract), schedule a tree removal, and purchase some groceries.
I'm also in my fourth week of systematically going through my house and getting rid of stuff. I love getting rid of stuff! Unfortunately, I've let stuff accumulate (for, oh, three years or so), and have been in the habit of throwing it into my guest room closet. This was until both doors of the closet busted off their track due to the strain. For real. So now for a month I've been sifting through party supplies, books, CDs, tradeshow schwag, papers and other clutter, filling up bags of trash and boxes for Goodwill.
 How do you keep your life decluttered? Are you a filer or a piler? And what "collections" do you have that you just can't part with, but know you should? I know someone who collects barbed wire. Another friend has 1,500 Beanie Babies. Still another has kept every greeting card she ever received. If you want to get a handle on your worldly goods, check out the book Too Much Stuff by Kathryn Porter. I met the author when her book first came out, and found her advice immensely helpful, even though I'm a natural clean freak and general minimalist (grace on the closet, please).
Oscar Opinions -- 00:00
The Boundless team has seen virtually none of this year's Oscar-nominated films, but that doesn't stop us from talking about them. I'm a bit disappointed that Beverly Hills Chihuahua isn't nominated. The larger discussion turns to films in general, what makes one Oscar-worthy, and whether public adulation makes for something "must-see."
Global Warning -- 18:55
Jay Richards of the Acton Institute joins me to talk about stewardship, including stewardship of the environment, our talents, other humans, civil institutions and finances. Jay gives practical advice on making gains in all of these areas for the good of humanity and the glory of God.
Start Your Family -- 38:12
Samuel wrote to us wondering if a woman's career and thoughts on family should be a factor in choosing a wife. Should this be considered even before dating, or, once dating, should one focus on getting married and then address family if/when it happens? Steve's fresh off of authoring Start Your Family with Candice, and is in the studio with me to give his plug for true "family planning."
When you hear from me next week, I will have gotten rid of another 50 things. You read it here first. What about you?
I returned last night from my annual trip to the National Religious Broadcasters Convention in Nashville. This year, two of my team members came with me, and in addition to staging photo shoots to chronicle our trip (see my FB page), drinking expensive coffee drinks (hail to a latte called the Jittery Monkey), and occasionally doing the work actually assigned them (good job, ladies) they spent their time trying to set me up with any guy who looked remotely unattached. Turns out some of the guys were actually attached (awkward), but the girls remained undaunted.
On our flight to Nashville, I wore a Boundless T-shirt. A flight attendant asked me what "Boundless" is, and I gave him the scoop. He looked at me and my coworkers and countered with "You look more like the cast of 'Girls Gone Wild.'" We're still not sure where that came from. I recovered when we landed in Nashville and there was a Bill Gaither sign above baggage claim that proclaimed "Welcome Home." Yay! The rest of the week was a flurry of meetings, presentations, events and handshakes with friends old and new.
One of the highlights of the trip was meeting Katie and Liza, two listeners to the show. Katie was at NRB with her company, so we met and chatted for about an hour. What a fun girl! She gave me some good show suggestions, but, while helpful, they were slightly overshadowed by the box of homemade white chocolate peanut clusters she presented me. Liza wasn't at the convention, but lives in Nashville, so drove all the way to the hotel to say "hello." I learned about her plans to go to seminary, and she gave me the inside scoop on the Christian music industry. Good times. If I'm ever in your area, or if you're in Colorado Springs, make sure we arrange to meet!
Valentine's Day Smackdown -- 00:00
Has a year passed since our last Valentine's Day show? Hard to believe. The VDay gift from my sister arrived yesterday, but I'm holding out until tomorrow to open it. In the meantime, the team (including new team member Ashley Harris!) joins me to discuss what's in and what's out when it comes to making plans for the holiday.
The Sonflowerz -- 16:21
This week's music is provided by The Sonflowerz, a fun sister duo whose new album All Over the World is making an impact in Christian music. I get to know them in this week's culture segment, and ask what it's like to be be cute, talented, interesting and have good things to say through music. Girls, take me with you on your next trip to England!
Gift Registry Do-gooders -- 35:17
They're getting married, and they'd prefer that in lieu of gifts, people just donate to a designated charity. Is this appropriate, and if so, how can they best communicate their wish? Candice and I disagree on this one. I suggested we settle it in a fist fight or gift-wrap-off, but instead we just share our opinions in a semi-civilized way.
By the way, I also had my photo taken with Jesus while at NRB. He was working a booth on the convention floor, and was extremely friendly and chatty. He said he loves Focus on the Family, and he wants me to visit him in Florida when I get a chance. I said I would try.
Tomorrow Lisa will write her usual, amazing podcast summary. You know the one. It will make you laugh; it will make you cry; it will make you update your iTunes subscription. You can wait to laugh and cry till tomorrow, but update your iTunes today because the podcast has been released. And it's a good one! The Valentine's Day roundtable is great prep for everybody-- single or in a relationship.
[Spoiler Alert] My feelings about Valentine's Day have changed a little since we recorded the podcast. I don't know what to attribute it to ... overhearing the guys at work order flowers for their sweethearts, Suzanne's blog post on Tuesday, the card aisle at Target, or the heart-shaped chocolate-covered pretzels that I've eaten my body weight in this week. Whatever it is, I'm warming up to the holiday. (My feelings about the red Mardi Gras beads at Barnes and Noble, however, have not changed.)
I'll leave the rest to Lisa. Enjoy the podcast!
Prayer changes things. Life is tough -- pray hard. The family that prays together, stays together. You've heard the cliches. You also know that it's easier to talk about prayer than it is to actually pray. Our prayer bumper stickers, magnets and screen savers prove that point.
This week I prayed. Like, really prayed. It was the first time in a while that I prayed in a "God, I have to talk to you right now and it may take a while so please pull up a chair and put your phone on vibrate" kind of way. Tuesday night I sat down to work on my weekly Bible study homework. Thus began what quickly became a full-blown tear-fest as I worked through my lesson material and meditated on a few chapters of Scripture. I then began to pray. And pray. And cry. And pray. I did what I can only imagine people do when they "pour out their hearts to the Lord." I looked for my heart on the floor and behind my chair, because I was pretty sure it had spilled out of me at some point. But long story short, God met me. I have to say this (even though it's another cliche), because it really happened. And because I've been a Christian for over 30 years, yet I still apparently doubt that God can and will do this if I only ask. The next morning I woke up with a peace that I cannot describe. Perhaps we can call this a "peace that passes understanding" (hello, reminder to review AGAIN God's promises). All I know is that I unloaded some major issues on the Lord, and He scooped them up.
Fast forward to last night. My Husband Prayer Group met at my house. Yes, I'm in a Husband Prayer Group. We pray for husbands. We also pray for other things, but we call it the HPG because we are taking Candice's advice to PRAY BOLDLY for a mate. Our track record is pretty good, as two of our original five are now married. And two are charismatic, which has nothing to do with finding husbands, but they're not afraid to say "Yes, Jesus!" and "Amen!" as we pray, and I love that. If any potential husbands are within earshot, maybe they'll wander over.
Anyway, the fact is, this could've been a bad week. But it wasn't, because I invited God into it through prayer. I told my high school girls group the other night that I'm ashamed I've been a Christian for so long, yet I still fret about things that are quite obviously out of my control. I try to manipulate circumstances and people instead of placing them before the Lord. This is lame, and I have to confess it. My time with God this week reminded me that He really does provide "abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine." Even more than I can imagine! I have quite an imagination, so that's a big deal.
The Boundless Show's Birthday -- 00:00
This week's Roundtable cracks me up. We look back on a year of podcasts and recount our favorite moments, topics, guests and comments, and then ask what's been most fun and meaningful for you. No, I still haven't purchased a gun. But my fence is getting replaced!
Stepparenting Isn't for Cowards -- 19:32
I have a few friends who just entered the world of the stepfamily. As soon as I did this interview with Ron Deal, I emailed them and said, "You cannot miss this interview when it hits the show." So friends, you know who you are...now is the time. Ron Deal of Successful Stepfamiliesgives insights on being an adult stepchild, marrying into a stepfamily, merging families and everything in between.
With This Cell Phone, I Thee Wed -- 44:40
Marriage is around the corner, so should the cell phone plans be merged in anticipation? This is one facet of the larger "How do we go from 'mine' to 'ours'"? question that all potential marriages face. Candice and I break down the minutes in this friends-and-family plan.
In other prayer news, my mom will be visiting me for the month of March. She announced the other day that she is "praying about learning to work my stove" when she gets here. I have a Viking gas stove, and she's afraid of it. Maybe she and I can pray together when she arrives and (tears optional) give the stove to the Lord. Then I'll bring her on the show so she can testify.
After more than two years of darkness, I've started watching TV again. My television is 13" with a built-in VCR, so the pull to sit in front of it isn't overly strong. In fact, when I do watch something, I have to slide a chair up right in front of the set in order to see the screen clearly.
Now when I say I'm "watching TV," I mean I've watched a few of the American Idol auditions. Since American Idol is now on basically every night of the week (I would hate to be all the other ugly-stepchild Fox shows that are shelved during AI), I realize I will not be able to keep up with this pace for long. I have several nights per week dedicated to church activities, mentoring, Bible studies and other schedule stuffers designed to legitimize my works-based faith (kidding...grace all the way, baby). But I've caught a few AI episodes now, and am pleased that there are less of the patently fake and over-the-top auditions featured this season. And I like that new judge, Kara.
Last night, however, I OD'd on TV. I went to my coworker's house and sat mesmerized in front of her 908" HD-whatever-flatscreen and ingested some Gospel Music Channel, HBO (the Ted Haggard special...whoa) and Larry King Live (more Ted Haggard...whoa). Then came the main attraction: Monday's DVR'd episode of The Bachelor. As host of The Boundless Show, this is necessary research for me. I need to know how a seemingly competent and handsome single dad will find true love in a sea of tanned, coiffed and ready-to-burst-into-tears-if-Molly-gets-another-one-on-one-date-with-him females. Surely he's read our Guys' Guide to Marrying Well, and is referencing it prior to each rose ceremony. I'll let you know if he calls me for advice. I'm sure he will.
The Death of Old Media -- 00:00
There used to be this stuff called paper. And it was made into books, newspapers and magazines. In this week's roundtable, we talk about the tension between old and new media. Is old media on its last legs? How do we get our news these days, and is it enough? Is new media making us dumb and dumber, or is having access to every bit of info in the world a good thing?
Bring the Rain -- 16:53
 Candice hosts Todd and Angie Smith for a frank discussion of love and loss. Todd is a founding member of the hugely popular CCM group Selah, and Angie writes and manages Bring the Rain, a blog originally created to celebrate their daughter Audrey, who died shortly after birth. The Smiths talk about this past year and their discovery of joy through pain, and how God's love and the power of community get us through when life scripts itself apart from our neatly laid out plans. There's some funny stuff here, too. Angie's a funny girl. Love that.
Too Late for Love? -- 51:46
She's 33 and single, and is starting to despair. We know that women marry in their 30s and beyond, but surely those three women found mates only after two or three religious pilgrimages and an extensive series of anointings and laying-on-of-hands, right? Not so, says Candice. God is still in the business of making good matches, and there's encouragement for the over-30 single girl in this. So turn up your hearing aids, ladies, and listen in. Guys, listen too. You're an important part of the marriage equation, remember?
Because I was too busy watching GMC, HBO, CNN and ABC last night, I missed American Idol. I guess I'll survive. I'll squeeze in AI's "Hollywood Week" somewhere between the Bible studies and checking out new blogs like Bring the Rain. I need a personal assistant to help me keep track of all of these important commitments. And to maybe get me Milk Duds whenever I want them. Anyone want to apply?
What a crazy week. It has moved ridiculously slowly, yet it's been packed with activity. Do you have those times in life where everyone around you seems to be moving on and changing, yet you're standing still? I've mentioned before that I'm in a season where ten of my close friends are getting married. I'm serious. Ten! I'm moving through these events like clockwork, and am actually having a lot of fun celebrating with these girls.
But sometimes life sneaks up on me. Earlier this week, I was unpleasantly surprised to discover that not only is my friend Carol getting married this weekend, but she is jetting off to Mexico for her honeymoon, then moving to Maine immediately upon her return. I am not ok with this. I knew she was moving to Maine, of course, but it always seemed to be sometime in the future. Alas, the time has come. We have not had time to say our goodbyes. We didn't go on any final hikes up in the mountains. I haven't fully vetted her fiance by grilling him with exceedingly personal and inappropriate questions. I'm now left with having to fly to Maine sometime in the coming months to catch up on all that Carol and I have missed in the busyness of the last few whirlwind weeks. Carol, you heard it here first. Leave the light on. I'm coming out there.
We're in a new year and a new administration. "Change" is our mantra. And usually, I'm all about change. But now I just feel left behind. The train left the station, and I wasn't on it. My friends are embarking on new life chapters, and I'm at home filling my dishwasher, sifting through junk mail and figuring out how to say yet again, "Oh totally, when life settles down for you, let's get together!"
Is anyone else in the same spot? What do you do to look ahead while you're standing still? How do you maintain hope in a future you can't see?
Hail to the Chief -- 00:00
This week we inaugurated our 44th United States President. According to his staff, he's already rolling up his sleeves and getting to work. Many Christians and pro-family folks are concerned about what that work will be. We'll soon find out. In this discussion, the team takes apart the inauguration, from Rick Warren's prayer to Aretha's hat to the speech that outlined Obama's intent for our nation in the coming months.
Fatal Addiction -- 19:08
Today marks the 20th anniversary of Dr. Dobson's landmark interview with serial killer Ted Bundy. Bundy was executed on January 24, 1989 -- the morning after the interview. Focus' media and sexuality analyst, Daniel Weiss, joins me for a look back on that interview and Bundy's telling words about the impact violence and pornography in the media had on his addiction to sexualized violence. Daniel talks about the impact of porn on society, not just in making "monsters," but in systematically destroying individuals, marriages and families.
Conviction Confliction -- 40:25
I grew up in a home where alcohol was taboo. So did the subject of this week's Inbox question. Should she marry someone whose convictions about alcohol are different from hers? When are convictions dealbreakers, and when is there room for compromise and/or disagreement? What kind of problems can differing convictions present in a marriage, and what do you do about them? Focus' Glenn Lutjens uses Biblical truth and experience from years as a professional counselor to give this listener practical advice in tackling her drinking dilemma.
I'm in a study at church called How People Change. I can tell it's going to be good as it focuses on letting God change us by His grace. I'll keep you posted. Maybe I'll become more grace-filled. Maybe you'll hear a new-found sweetness in my voice on the show. Hey, God is a God of miracles. :)
Many of us regularly deal with what a friend of mine describes as "first-world problems." These are inconveniences; petty concerns. I had a couple of those this week. I spent 10 minutes on my hands and knees in my bathroom looking for my missing contact lens -- only to discover it was still in my eye. Last night I got stuck in a car wash. Both doors closed, but nothing happened. I backed up and recentered my car about six times. Nothing. I was pretty sure I would die from carbon monoxide poisoning when a college guy came and helped me. He reset the codes and assured me that none of this was my fault (yeah, right). To top it all off, today I'm not feeling too well on account of eating a ridiculous number of Red Vines for breakfast. That one I definitely have to blame on myself.
My problems are miniscule. There are many bigger things going on in the world. As we head into Sanctity of Human Life Week (January 18-25) and the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, we address a couple of big things on The Boundless Show -- abortion and human trafficking. Before I talk about these specific segments, let me encourage you to check out Focus' Faces of Option Ultrasound. Option Ultrasound (OU) is our effort to get ultrasound equipment and services into pregnancy medical clinics around the nation. Abortion-minded women who receive counseling services and see an image of their preborn baby are more than twice as likely to say they will keep the baby. Since OU's launch five years ago, over 400 grants have been approved in 49 states, resulting in an estimated 63,000 babies saved. Yes, you read that right. That is crazy exciting. Check out the site and get the whole scoop.
Fetus Fatigue -- 00:00
Our generation seems weary of talking about abortion. We're tired of the fight, the anger, the injustice, the politics and the players. But defending the unborn is still Biblical, so how do we inject passion into a calling that we know is worthy, but after 35 years is still so daunting?
The Courageous Fight Against Sex Trafficking -- 24:07
DO NOT MISS THIS SEGMENT. Congresswoman Linda Smith (R-WA) is in the studio to update us on the world of sex trafficking and what she and her organization, Shared Hope International, are doing to fight it. Also joining us is Renu, a Nepalese girl whom Linda helped after Renu was rescued from a brothel overseas. Renu tells her incredible story of being sold into slavery, losing all hope, being found by Christ, and ultimately embracing redemption for herself and the brother who betrayed her.
I'm No Brad Pitt -- 50:44
We've talked about unattractive women, but what about the guy who feels he asks women out, but gets turned down repeatedly? Is it him, or are women looking through the wrong lens when searching for potential husbands? Steve, Suzanne and I help a listener separate fact from fiction on the subject of attraction.
Here's to the preborn. Here's to the elderly. Here's to everyone in between. Here's to life!
It's my first post of 2009! To kick off the new year with incredible professionalism, yesterday my coworker, Sara, and I bought glitter-filled bounce balls at Borders, which we promptly started bouncing at our desks, much to the annoyance of others in the office. We've even developed bounce "signals" for certain behaviors, inside jokes or comments, or when we feel the need for a coffee or snack break (which is, unfortunately, a bit too often). My bounce ball is of the "Magic 8 Ball" variety, having a cube inside with various responses to "yes" or "no" questions. This is especially exciting because it's the ghetto version, so the responses run along the lines of "True Dat," "Fo Sho" and "Not Gunna Hap'n." Sara and I have already determined the outcomes of the coming year thanks to Magic 8 Glitter Bounce Ball wisdom.
Seriously though, I've been thinking a lot about growth and change this week. Last week's sermon at church was on Genesis 2 and the all-too-familiar story of Adam and Eve taking matters into their own hands. We always use the front end of a new year to talk about how we're going to improve our lives, usually by implementing some amazing plan or program that promises to revolutionize us inside and out. But my pastor reminded me that my general failure at self-metamorphosis isn't due to a lack of willpower, but a lack of ability. True change happens only when God transforms us through His grace.
Oh.
So it's January 9th and the Magic 8 Glitter Bounce Ball has already failed me. Its answers were a bit vague and unhelpful. Instead I'm going to get further into God's Word and trust that not only does He actually know some stuff (um, like my entire life story, what's best for me, what my true hangups are beyond issues with meat and an unhealthy attachment to Bill Gaither), but He wants to change me for the better -- starting now. So today begins my "I'm Totally Incompetent But God Isn't" Change Challenge. Who's in?
Faith First! -- 00:00
The last installment in the Guy's Guide to Marrying Well series centers on spiritual compatibility. You no doubt know it's important, but how important is it? Is marrying a Christian enough, or are doctrine, church preferences and worship styles worth some thought as well? What about someone's spiritual maturity? Listen in as the team talks about evening up those pesky yokes!
Boomerang Living -- 22:03
John Thomas, of Boundless Answers and The Hungry Years fame, decided to visit Colorado. We lured him into the studio to talk about leaving your roots to launch a career, then returning home to start a family. What are the pros and cons? What was it like for him to live the big-city life, then pack up and return to his small hometown and ever-so-eager extended family? And what if you're about to marry someone and move to his or her turf? John gives us a lesson in trusting God when geography is involved.
Too Much, Too Soon? -- 45:38
She just got out of a relationship, and he wants to make his move. Is the timing right? And he has a few concerns ... should he put them all on the table immediately? Steve Watters joins me this week for the Inbox as we help Mr. All-Or-Nothing navigate what to say and do, and when to say and do it.
That's it, folks. Happy New Year -- I'm looking forward to seeing what God will do in us as we give up control in 2009. I asked the Magic 8 Glitter Bounce Ball if it's possible. The answer? "Word."
I've never been one for resolutions. But I do look forward to bringing in the new year with sparklers and a cup of cheer. My wife grew up with a tradition of clanging pots at midnight. Which seems terribly annoying. So I quashed that one.
Still, we'll be celebrating. And it's not because January 1st promises anything more than the day before. It's because our very calendar year, Anno Domini, marks 2009 years since "the year of Our Lord" and the hope we have in Him. Never mind the relatively recent invention of CE or Common Era. Dionysius Exiguus's calendar year of AD still reigns.
So Happy New Year! Praise God for his patience and common grace to all!
New Year's Resolutions -- 0:00
I tend to reflect more on the year that's coming to a close than the one that coming up. Most of my reflection centers on how I spent my time and treated others, particularly my family. Which, you could say, helps me prepare for the new year as I examine myself with a little hindsight.
Steve Watters, on the other hand, is a new year's resolutions setting, and accomplishing, machine (though he likes the term "goals" instead of "resolutions"). He's even written a couple of articles about it: "Goal-Setting and the Lake Effect" and "Clear Decks." And in this week's Roundtable, he offers some more great insights.
Oh, and you'll also want to hear about Ted's swimming and Suzanne's French Press resolutions.
Never Say Diet -- 11:36
It seems that most new year's resolutions have something to do with dieting and exercise. If it's part of yours, then you'll love this interview with Chantel Hobbs, author of Never Say Diet. Chantel shares her journey of how she revolutionized her heart and her habits and lost 200 pounds in the process.
Sophomore Smackdown -- 35:50
In this week's Hungry Years, John Thomas tells us what happens when you combine two skateboarding college students, an abandoned water slide, and a piece of gravel. It's one of my favorite John Thomas adventures. And I think it'll prove to be one of yours too.
Long Distance Beauty -- 43:05
How can a guy convince his gorgeous girlfriend that he loves her for more than just her looks? Listen to this week's Inbox, that's how.
I'm sitting next to my mom's Christmas tree in her home in Minnesota. Our family just got back from the Christmas service in the Pioneer Church, her church's original structure. Built in 1898 and used until 1920, it then alternated between standing vacant and serving as a grain bin for local farmers before it was recently restored and moved back to a corner of the church's property. The original pump organ was found, fixed and installed, as were the pulpit and hanging pulpit lantern. Now each Christmas, decendents of one of the original church families decorate the small building as it would have looked 100 years ago, complete with lanterns, candles, pine boughs, wheat sheaves and berry wreaths.
For tonight's service, the pastor dressed in period garb to deliver the Christmas message, and one of the junior high girls donned a traditional Norwegian costume belonging to my mother. It was a quiet and meaningful time of memories, carols, poetry and prayer.
Contrast this to my trip here. After plowing through a week of work, parties, shopping and general insanity, I stumbled through two airports in hopes of getting here before Christmas. A blizzard and a plane crash/fire (I was on the runway when that Continental flight crashed in Denver) almost detained me. This general 21st century mayhem was summarized when a man and his three-year-old daughter located their seats next to me on my final flight. After getting settled in, I quickly learned they were on their way to Grandma's. "What do you want to do first when you get there?", he prompted her, obviously thankful that I was showing interest, and no doubt hoping I'd help keep her entertained once en route. Clutching her doll and blanket, she looked up at us and said soberly, "Well, first I'll have to check my email."
I'm checking my own email a bit more than I planned to during my vacation. But tonight's service in the Pioneer Church reminded me to slow down. I think I'll do that the rest of this week, and I think I'll do that in 2009. I'll need help determining what that looks like for me. It will have to include some specifics. Any ideas, or does anyone else plan to do the same?
Christmas Favorites -- 00:00
One of the made-up games for which I'm known is "What's Your Favorite?" You basically say "What's your favorite...?" and select a category. Then everyone in the room has to say his or her favorite in that category. Pretty self-explanatory. I also add other elements and rules, but won't get into those here. Suffice it to say I drive my friends and family nuts with my no-holds-barred approach to this game. This week I ask the Boundless team for some of their Christmas favorites. Listen in and give us yours when you get a chance.
Peace on Earth -- 19:29
I just bought this new project from Casting Crowns. Love it. In honor of this, we're reairing my interview with Mark Hall. And because it's Christmas.
Driving Immanuel -- 34:04
John Thomas chauffeured Jesus? Not exactly, but he offers us a glimpse into the meaning of "Immanuel" as seen through everyday life. Sometimes God shows up in the most amazingly ordinary ways.
What If I’m Not “All That”? -- 41:29
Her friend is prettier, perkier and more outgoing. She's also (surprise, surprise) the center of attention, especially with guys. And of course, she's "not interested in any of them." So Ms. Wallflower is competing with a girl who's winning at a game she doesn't even care to play. Grrr. How does one solve this dilemma without slapping, biting and scratching? By asking Candice. And we do.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Tomorrow I am scheduled to fly to northern Minnesota, where I'll spend Christmas with my family in a small farm town of 122 people. I fly into Fargo, ND (again, yes, this is a real place), but my sister called last night to inform me that they are expecting a blizzard. This means that the chance of me getting stuck in Denver due to a canceled flight is ridiculously high. I spent a day and a half in the Denver airport at Christmas eight years years ago, and to this day even the smell of the place brings back (bad) memories. So we'll see what happens. Prayers are appreciated.
As I anticipate my trip, I'm sitting at my desk thinking of Christmases past. This is aided by the fact that I'm listening to the best Christmas album of all time: Evie's Christmas Memories. Personally, I have many Christmas memories: caroling in our neighborhood in California, candlelight services, being the cuckoo in my grade school Christmas program, eating sketchy Scandinavian food, surprising my parents with a trip home after taking my first job in another state...all good times. Memories are important. Traditions are important. I'm especially attached to them now that my dad is gone, our family is scattered, and life is more complicated than it was when my biggest Christmas decision was what color glitter to put on my homemade popsicle stick ornament for Mom. What memories and traditions are important to you, and what are you doing to preserve them?
Santa Claus is Coming to Town -- 00:00
Santa Claus, the Patron Saint of Single Women? It's true. You heard it here first. Santa and Mrs. Claus visited The Boundless Show this week and regaled us with stories of life at the North Pole, elf etiquette, Christmas favorites and most importantly, what's going on in the hearts and heads of kids today. They give us a much-needed pep talk on what it takes to love hurting people...no matter their age.
Plugged In to Christmas -- 21:31
Bob Waliszewski is in the studio to talk about Christmas-related topics like vampires and video games. He gives a Christmas movie roundup, then shares his top gift ideas. Clean up the trash from your and your nieces' and nephews' Christmas lists with these helpful guidelines.
The Gospel According to Joe -- 34:54
Joe English was the drummer for Paul McCartney and Wings. Then he became a Christian and sang in John Thomas' church. He brought a message that was stark, in-your-face, and expressive of the overhaul that had taken place in his life. He was a changed man, and his example changed John as well. Sometimes raw and real is where it's at. My mom would be proud.
Robbing the Cradle -- 40:02
Single men are scarce in her circle. Is it ok to consider younger (and younger, and younger) guys? Candice addresses the age issue, and talks about the pluses and minuses of marrying someone with a few years (or more) on either side. What's irrelevant, and what's a red flag? Pull your rocking chair closer, turn up your hearing aid, and learn.
Ok, I need to dash off to our Christmas chapel service here at Focus. Mandisa is singing! Maybe we'll get her on the show in the near future. I met her in Nashville last year, and she's super-cool. By the way, this week's music is provided by our good friends Nathan Clark George and Casting Crowns. I'm loving the Christmas music! I'll let you know if I make it to Minnesota. It's currently below zero. Gaah! Oh well. Visiting family and reliving memories and traditions is well worth the effort, right?
I took today off, and used the time to accomplish a few things. On the list was attending my neighborhood's Christmas cookie exchange. My neighborhood situation is unique, as I live in a historic part of downtown, and am the somewhat poor relation (small stucco rancher with as yet unfixed fence) in a radius of wealth (huge, restored-to-period old homes with beautifully intact stone walls). Each year, the cookie exchange provides an opportunity for me to endure religious persecution, because each and every one of my neighbors hates the fact that I work at Focus on the Family. The neighbors who don't yet know me think I'm fantastic -- until they discover my place of employment. Such was the case today. Several women whom I had not yet met were, I'm convinced, on track to become my BFFs (or at least fakey-fake acquaintances), but when I said the name of "that place," each recoiled in horror and then proceeded to say something rude or combative in response. Today's winner:
Scary rich lady with massive diamond on finger and cookie in hand: "So what do you do?"
Lisa: "I do media relations for Focus on the Family."
Scary rich lady with massive diamond on finger and cookie in hand: "Oh. Well, I'm the opposite of you. What I mean is, in contrast to you, I'm very open and accepting in my religious and political beliefs."
I actually ended up having a good conversation with this woman, but it took two cups of cider, a gingersnap and a haystack to get me through it. Sheesh.
Then I went home, and not a half-hour later, I heard a knock on my door. I did what I normally do -- I hid in my dining room. I didn't want to open the door, and because my front door has windows, I can't walk up to it and see who's there without being seen. So I hid in my dining room until the footsteps went away. I peeked through the slats of my blinds (let's try not to judge me here, people), and saw two retreating female figures. I opened the door, and a tract fluttered to the floor. I knew immediately it was a Watch Tower publication, distributed by the Jehovah's Witnesses. The title struck me: Comfort for the Depressed. If you read my post last week, you know I've been kinda depressed. Think about it: Had I not been 1) grounded in my relationship with Christ and 2) hiding in my dining room, I maybe would've opened my door, listened to these ladies, and been influenced in a time of need by two people who, while well-meaning, don't have what I need at all. But there they were, pounding the pavement on a winter day to start conversations and share their gospel. It convicted me.
And it convinced me. It convinced me that reminding myself daily of God's Truth is exactly what I need. I grabbed my Bible, sat down and reviewed some of God's promises. I prayed. And I asked God to first keep me mindful of those who are without hope this Christmas season, and then share the Hope that I have. I went to my fridge, where my Really Woolly advent calendar (hey, remember, we're not judging) is posted. Each door this month, when opened, reveals one of the names of God. The fact that it's accompanied by a cartoon-drawn lamb only adds, trust me. And so I reviewed the doors I've opened so far:
"He's Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End!"
"He's our Savior!"
"He's even our Creator!"
"He's our Shepherd, too!"
"He's the Bread of Life!"
"Wonderful! He's our Counselor!"
"He's our Prince of Peace!"
"He's a Lamb, too! The Lamb of God!"
"He's the King of Kings!"
"He's the Light of the World!"
"He's the One and Only Son of God!"
That's as far as I've gotten. But reading those eleven statements encouraged me. Kinda like truth should. Especially when it involves our Savior. I can't wait to see what the rest of the month brings; in the meantime, here's a short roundup of this week's show:
It Takes a Community -- 00:00
We're still in the Guy's Guide, so this week we tackle the importance of community in moving a guy toward a healthy marriage. Ladies generally do community well. Guys need a little more help. Sorry, guys. I'm just sayin'.
Radical (Red Patent Leather Stilettos) Womanhood -- 20:11
Carolyn McCulley's book Radical Womanhood turns feminism on its diamond-studded ear and shows how true biblical femininity is more affirming and empowering than any of the lies we've bought over the past 30 years. Carolyn gives us the scoop firsthand.
Yarn Warrior -- 43:58
Two things you need to know about Patrick Dunn: 1) He's blonde. 2) He has issues with craft fairs. The blonde part is a bonus from me. The craft fair bit is his illustration of what he claims is a necessary compromise with women. Hm. I'm not buying it. If guys get out of jewelry parties, baby showers and potluck prep, why can't they get out of craft fairs? Maybe he explains this at the end, which I missed due to dozing off when he starts talking about football...
And the Gifts Go On -- 49:26
Her mom's love language is gift-giving. She thinks its excessive, and is uncomfortable with the pile of presents under the tree. What should she do? Simply say "thanks"? Start a bonfire, invite her mom, and throw all of the gifts ceremoniously into it? Or is there a middle ground? Candice and I unwrap (hehe) this dilemma in time for Christmas.
Have a great week, everyone. Be bold!
Ok, everyone, it's time to be honest: I've had a terrible month. I think it's hard for some people to believe that I have bad days. Or weeks. Or months. Or years. I'm always upbeat, right? I'm the funny one, the one with a good job, great family, exciting opportunities, and a witty story to summarize each and every one of them.
But I cried most of November, and December's not looking too good, either. My relationship ended, many of my friends lost their jobs, work has been stressful, I have a couple hard conversations coming down the pike, and am walking with friends and family members through sickness, death, divorce and other life horrors. And then there are the little things. Let's not get into the general mayhem of my life and its bills, receipts, repairs, calendar items and other comparatively petty details. But the night before last, I dropped a contact lens down the sink, and had to pull apart the pipes to retrieve it. Last night I crashed my car in the snow and blew a tire. I sat waiting for a tow truck and deciding when I will go to purchase four new tires in the midst of the seasonal craziness.
A friend emailed me his sympathy for my situation, and it made me think. My chosen response to the last month is now "God is still good." That's not my natural response, mind you. That's my chosen response. Because I know it's true, even though it doesn't feel like that right now. I actually watched my fingers as they typed to my friend, "If I lose everything except Jesus, will He still be enough? I hope so. I want to live like that." Bold words, and completely impossible for me to say truthfully apart from the Holy Spirit. I kinda feel like the Holy Spirit is all I've got some days. I know I have much, much more, but loneliness, anger, frustration and loss hit fast and hard, and it's difficult to stay afloat.
Our sermon in church last week was on Isaiah 40. It was a huge encouragement to me. I've been reciting the following texts all week:
"The uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain."
"The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever."
"He will tend His flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms."
"Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, 'My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God?'...He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength...they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."
What do you do in seasons like these? What has been helpful? It's our responsibility as believers to bear one another's burdens, and sometimes we need collective wisdom to do that well. So say what you want to say here. And if you're going through a tough time right now, I will allot a few of my tears to you. I have plenty still coming.
Purity with Passion -- 00:00
It's right for a guy to be committed to purity. Duh. But in this second installment of our Guy's Guide to Marrying Well series, we ask what this actually means, especially in a culture where lines are blurred, men are marrying later, and relationships end often as quickly and haphazardly as they began. It's time to decide what we believe on this issue and stick with it. We get you started here.
Wrecked -- 21:54
What does it look like to stare pain, heartbreak, loss and disappointment in the face? What is the role of the Church when it comes to hurting people? And what can Christians do to encourage real relationships, ones that foster true community and do exactly what the Bible tells us to do -- be a family of people who are imperfect but forgiven? Join Lisa and Ryan Dobson, founder of Kor Ministries and author of the new book, Wrecked, in a frank discussion on living and growing through tough stuff.
How Satan Stole Christmas -- 44:20
Suzanne reflects on a Christmas that proved less than idyllic, and soon realizes she isn't alone. Many of us bring attitudinal baggage into the holiday. When the Devil is out to squelch our good cheer, what do we do to turn the tide and make a loving attitude toward family and others a priority?
Dangerous Liaisons -- 48:57
Motte blogged recently about unhealthy opposite-sex office relationships. Lots of commenters thought it was over-the-top. But according to one listener, the problem is real. Inside jokes, thoughtful gestures and shared experiences, good and bad, can build intimacy. That's sketchy enough, but when it turns into attraction and/or obsession, things get ugly. Candice and I break it down for a girl who has some decisions to make about how to get untangled from a work relationship gone awry.
Maybe we should call this the "Eeyore" episode. Kind of a downer. But that's ok, I think. Sometimes hard things are exactly what we need to discuss. So how about if we all agree to vent, cry and commiserate for a short time? Let's call things as they are. But in the midst of it all, we can anchor ourselves in the hope that comes only through Christ. And hey, we're celebrating His birthday soon! What a great time to reflect. I'm going to do this. I'm going to get some rest at Christmas, too. And then I promise that in January I'll come back and say something clever and witty. Deal?
Today is the last day of my 16-day carb-free diet. Praise the Lord. I stayed strong and feel like I broke some sort of sugar addiction, which is good. I'm more alert and have increased energy. But if I see one more egg, almond, piece of turkey or beef jerky, I may descend into some Lord of the Flies craziness. I simply cannot eat steamed broccoli at breakfast ever again. I refuse to consider a piece of cheese "dessert." And while I will slowly add "good" carbs (lamest term ever) back into my diet, I now have to go into Thanksgiving and the rest of the holiday season with a more sensible attitude toward carbs in general. I don't really want a sensible attitude toward carbs. I didn't put it on my Christmas list. I haven't prayed for it. It's not my spiritual gift. But it's necessary.
So is giving thanks. Because while I'm at the end of my hard-core, spit-out-that-crouton diet experiment, it's really just the beginning. I can't hit midnight tonight and celebrate by downing a box of Ho Hos. I can't eat half the bowl of mashed potatoes tomorrow (accountability needed here -- help!). Likewise, Thanksgiving is merely the focal point of what should be a year of living in an attitude of thankfulness. Write a list of what you're thankful for this year, and share it with others. Do it. Why'd we stop doing stuff like this in grade school? If anything, as I get older and experience more of life's ups and downs, I realize how important it is to pause and thank God for everything in my life, and quite frankly, some things that aren't in my life. God is good. I'll say it again: God is good.
Finally, sometimes you have to get excited about the little things. My friend sent me a photo of her toddler sitting next to this year's frozen turkey. Both of them are exactly 21 pounds. That made me smile. My mom called to tell me to tune into the Thanksgiving special of "that guy who's dead but his people still dance around and sing on TV" (Lawrence Welk). Priceless. And to spread some random Thanksgiving cheer, I solicited on Facebook those who'd appreciate a special "hello" via this post. Here's to the following fans of the show:
Tina -- because it's time the Tinas of the world got recognized. And her bf supposedly looks like Joaquin Phoenix.
Rachel and Elizabeth -- hang in there with the grad work, smart girls. You can do it!
Beau -- I think he just wants to be in the spotlight, which is totally fine with me.
Kirsten -- she's from North Dakota. And her maiden name is Anderson. 'Nuff said.
Amie and Tammie -- because you're not ashamed to exploit our friendship for your own self-promotion. Love ya!
Give Thanks -- 00:00
The team's in the studio to talk about Thanksgiving and what it means to give thanks even when times are tough. Ted says it's really still all about the food for him, so we scowl at him and judge his spiritual maturity. We're just helpful like that.
Peace on Earth -- 14:24
Mark Hall from Casting Crowns is back to talk about their first Christmas album, Peace On Earth. With it, CC reignites Christmas carols and makes them about worship, not just tradition. This week's music is from the album. What's your favorite carol, by the way?
Lincoln's Proclamation -- 28:45
President Abraham Lincoln made a Thanksgiving proclamation in the middle of the American Civil War. It set the precedent for the Thanksgiving Day we celebrate now, and implored citizens of the United States to remember God's hand as the source of all blessing. Dave Salkeld reads the proclamation and allows us to relive a little bit of history.
Is It Too Soon? -- 33:46
How long should you date prior to marriage? Is there an "acceptable" timeline, and what are the benchmarks to look for as you head toward a lifelong commitment? The guys share their perspective for a listener who is sensing that "the talk" is coming.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Here at The Boundless Show, we are thankful for you. Yes, we are.
My coworker wants me to get a dog. Badly. She thinks having a dog will revolutionize my life for the better. I am not convinced of this, as my encounters with her dog have involved her cleaning up his poop, pinning him down to put in his ears oily drops that apparently "help with the nasty yeast infections he gets," dressing him in quirky T-shirts, and regaling me with stories of middle-of-the-night vomit attacks, things eaten that could not be digested, stinky breath and all other forms of dog-ness.
But I am relatively compliant , so I have gone with her during lunch hours to hold dogs in the nearby pet store, me huddled in a small play area wearing a suit and heels while a pet store worker places a wriggling puppy on my lap and apologizes for whatever ills it currently has. He or she generally also says something like, "We're still working on getting him potty trained, so watch out!" I smile somewhat fakely and pet the creature, trying to avoid the goop in its eyes or newspaper shreds stuck to its backside.
My coworker left a stuffed dog on my doorstep a couple of weeks ago. This I can handle. I've had a hectic few weeks, so for the first time in about 25 years, I am sleeping with a toy. Concerning, I know. But in a weird way, it has helped. More than that, though, my rough patch has shown me what helps even more -- the love and concern of good friends. Because even though I've spurned every one of her attempts at making me a dog owner, my coworker has stuck with me. She and others have been a real encouragement during all the times that matter. Maybe a dog is in my future. Maybe. Until then, I'm grateful for my friends.
T-Rex + Intentionality -- 00:00
Theodore Rex Watters joins us in the studio this week, but at five days old, doesn't contribute much. Bummer. I'm sure that had he not been sleeping, he would've had much to say about intentionality, today's focus in the continuation of our Guy's Guide to Marrying Well series. What does it look like for a guy to be intentional in dating? How can he convey his intentionality to women in a direct but non-creepy way? We break it down for the gents and let the ladies listen in.
One Moment In Time, Part 2 -- 22:03
Candice and Steve finish up their conversation with Gary Thomas, where they tackle the elusive "finding God's will" debate. How can we avoid dwelling on the "don'ts" and instead proactively serve out of love? How do we avoid both passivity and burnout? More great wisdom from a guy who's been there.
Finishing the Race -- 39:38
In this week's The Hungry Years, John Thomas introduces us to his wife's grandparents, Jake and Myrtle, his own "marriage and family heroes." Married more than 60 years, Jake and Myrtle are a couple who finished the race well despite great odds. They provided a blueprint that John and his wife look to even today as they navigate their own marriage journey.
Get Over Him! -- 45:04
It's been three years, and he's still not into her. Still. Yet they move in the same circles and she has to force herself not to email or talk to him in hopes of making the acquaintance something more. How will she survive? Suzanne and I have shed our own tears in this department, so we help Ms. Hangin' On get some perspective on the situation. And then some guy busts into the studio and leads us on a rabbit trail. But he knows people who know people, so we had to listen. :)
Have a fantastic week, everyone. When you get a minute, thank your friends for being who they are. And for being who they aren't. But thank them most for loving you, no strings attached.
This has been a crazy week. On Saturday alone, I attended a wedding (not mine), a birthday party and a bridal shower (again, not mine). Tuesday I took a friend to get her wisdom tooth out and then monitored her all day as she made exceedingly positive comments about the effects of nitrous oxide. Wednesday night was my girls discipleship group. I meet weekly with four fantastic high schoolers who get me caught up in their drama and make me grateful that I'm now "a few" years out of high school. But drama aside, these are smart girls who love Jesus, and I am so impressed with their teachability, enthusiasm and willingness to delve into things that are real. I'm already seeing changes in their attitudes and actions, and they encourage and challenge me as well. One of them brought four non-Christian coworkers to a church event last night. I can't wait to hear how it went!
Tonight, however, marks the highlight of my week. I'll be attending the Gaither Homecoming here in Colorado Springs, and am bringing 14 friends with me. As you know by now, I am a Gaither super-fan. From the time I was five and sang "Jesus, I Heard You Had a Big House" in church, I've had a special connection with Bill Gaither. So with that, I look forward to a night of unlimited praise. I will bring my Gaither flashlight, which is the Christian equivalent of a lighter, and adds an extra blessing to any Homecoming event. I will sing, clap, stand up and shout, and maybe do a fist-pump or two at the appropriate time. Stay tuned for a complete roundup of my experience.
Men and Matrimony -- 0:00
We've processed with the ladies on marriage, and Candice even wrote a book to help them navigate the path to a good, godly match. But what about the guys? Men want to get married, too, and they plan to, but perhaps have received some lame advice over the years on how to get there. Enter The Guy's Guide to Marrying Well. Available as an e-book only at Boundless, this "git er done" manual is the focus of today's roundtable. We lay out four principles for a man's dating and marrying well, and prep for delving into them more fully in the coming weeks.
One Moment in Time -- 13:53
Speaking of marriage, you've all heard of Gary Thomas, marriage dude extraordinaire and author of Sacred Marriage, among other books. Gary Thomas is serious about marriage, and sits down with Steve and Candice to talk about what he considers the critical decade for men as they think about tying the knot. And no, the critical decade isn't the 80s. Shame on the 80s for giving us Spandau Ballet, by the way.
Cafeteria Lady -- 27:11
Eryn Carman is back this week with a scary flashback to a school cafeteria boy-encounter. A mix of obsession and intent, a reflection on Eryn's hopeful but disastrous exchange reminds her to keep her eyes and heart on what's important.
Pencil Me In -- 32:03
Singleness often is synonymous with transition. There's always the next job, relationship or ministry opportunity around the corner. So how do you deal with the commitments you already have, and should you get involved in stuff if you may be on to something new in less time than it takes for a catfight to erupt on "The View"? Steve and I chat about taking on commitments, and sticking with them.
So it's a marriage-heavy week, folks (or "mawage," according to The Princess Bride). Heads up to the haters: don't diss us, because Candice just had a baby, and doesn't want to hear the whining. Don't mess with a sleep-deprived new mother, especially when it's regarding her pet topic. Word to the wise.
I now officially have only hours until the Gaithers. I'll have trouble focusing this afternoon. I'm having trouble focusing now, quite frankly. [insert excited squeal here]
It's fun to be passionate about stuff. I'm passionate about many things, including guacamole, the Gaithers, combating relationship lameness, loving and respecting the elderly, and seeing people live out a vibrant, saving relationship with Jesus.
I'm also jazzed about Focus' upcoming event called Wait No More. Scheduled for November 22 here in Colorado Springs, this event will do something unprecedented -- it will challenge the over 3,000 churches in Colorado to adopt the 700 waiting kids in Colorado, and then provide the opportunities to start the application process right on site at the event. That, my friends, is a call to action. That is getting down to "bitnit." That is recognizing a problem, and admitting that the Church has the resources, the opportunity, the heart, and most of all, the God -- to address it. I was in a meeting this morning for Wait No More, and walked away proud to be part of an organization that sees this need, and is not afraid to call believers out on it. And to top it off, we're partnering with the State of Colorado to get it done. Amen!
The Morning After -- 0:00
Another thing that inspires passion is our political process. We have heard your voices on the blog, and I personally have enjoyed following the discussion. This week, the Boundless team sat down the morning after the U.S. election and shared our thoughts, emotions, reflections and predictions on everything from amendments to Obama to our role in the political process, even if it involves a questionable run-in with touch-screen technology.
Back to the Future -- 16:51
Now that the election is behind us, Dr. Chris Leland, worldview expert and director of College Student Ministries at Focus, joins Steve Watters for a look forward. Was this election an obituary for conservatives, or is there a future for pro-family issues and legislation? How can young Christians be part of important change, and how can we all work with (or despite) the successes and failures of government to make our mark on this generation and beyond?
Home Fires and Apron Strings -- 34:46
We all hope for a good relationship with our parents, so how do we preserve that if a job, marriage or other life event is moving us away from them? Candice and I talk about the challenges of leaving home in this week's Inbox. Sometimes moving away isn't the best thing, but when it is, there really are ways to maintain (or repair and build) closeness and contact with our immediate family.
So speak up. Politics, justice, beauty, family...what are you passionate about?
Have you ever had one of those weeks where you just feel like "meh"? I'm kinda there right now. In the past few days, I fought off a cold (thank you, Jesus and Zicam), wrapped up a few work projects, had a couple hard conversations, and am now getting ready for another retreat this weekend. This is my singles group's Fall retreat, and it will be in a small mining town up in the mountains. Tomorrow night, we have a costume party where we are to dress up as folks would've during the Victorian era in that region. I get kinda excited about it as we start this week's show. Though I wore a corset-like top in a wedding last weekend, so am not looking forward to another evening of bondage. Again, meh. Shoot, it's a party, and I won't be working. I'll survive.
Halloween's Coming -- 0:00
"Halloween's coming, Halloween's coming, skeletons will be after YOU!" So begins a song we sang in grade school. I loved Halloween as a kid, but the "holiday" doesn't generally receive a warm welcome in Christian circles. So dressing up as your favorite demon isn't the best, but what about the employee costume parties at work, or the seemingly innocent doling out of candy to cute kids at your door? Seriously, who can resist a toddler in a pumpkin costume? And what about all those "alternative" celebrations? The Boundless team brings its pasts, prejudices and preferences to the table this week as we dissect the spookiest day of the year.
Dirty Mouths and Dancing Teens -- 14:53
Plugged In Online's Bob Waliszewski is back with the latest movie roundup in this week's culture segment. Which film currently in theaters drops a couple of F-bombs every minute? Which one has outrageously good-looking teens who are squeaky clean, amazingly talented, and plagued with nothing more than their abundant choice of hair products and college scholarships? Bob wades through the good, the bad and the "why are we even talking about this?" in an effort to help the cinematically-challenged among us.
Coffee and Conviction -- 28:32
Join John Thomas as he reflects on his days at a Christian coffee house, where he sipped substandard java and shared the Gospel with patrons. It wasn't always smooth conversation, and sometimes people walked out, yet who but God knows how John was used? Reminds me of Keith Green's lyric: "Just keep doin' your best, and pray that it's blessed...He'll take care of the rest."
Peaceful Politics -- 34:33
This week's Inbox question asks how Christians can discuss the election and share differing opinions with others, but do so in a grace-filled way that doesn't devolve into namecalling and damaged relationships. Candice and I dig down to some of the root concerns, and offer thoughts on how to hold on to your convictions without letting go of your friends.
Have a safe weekend, everyone. Whether you dress up and go to a party, or stay home and read about the Reformation, take a moment to do something real. Have a meaningful conversation with an old friend, pray for the election, thank God for His blessings, help a neighbor. Then kick back and eat an entire bag of candy corn, realizing that even in the midst of pagan holidays, a sketchy economy and a divisive election, God is indeed good.
You're probably thinking, Where in the world is the lovely and talented Lisa Anderson? Well, she's having a busy week preparing for her friend's wedding. Here's her e-mail begging off this week's podcast blog: First I have to go to a final dress fitting and nail appt, then rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and a bachelorette party that I'm cohosting. Then I'm housing the bride and the maid of honor. Then Friday it's hair appts, getting ready, photos, the wedding, reception, etc. Saturday is Love Won Out, which I have to work, plus [my nephew's] birthday party. Sunday, [my church community] has a potluck with [another church community].
So she asked if I could write it. Which is awesome because we talk about politics in this week's Roundtable. And as many of you may know, I love talking politics.
A Time to Vote -- 0:00
I'm leading a book study this semester on Paul Tripp's "How People Change." There's a part that talks about how Christians should be "thankfully discontent" or "joyfully dissatisfied" this side of heaven as we long to be like Christ. The reason I bring it up here is because it perfectly describes my approach to politics. I am thankful for our political process even when I'm discontent with the outcome; I am joyful in the hope I have in Christ though I may be dissatisfied with policies that reflect a fallen world. You'll hear more in this week's Roundtable as we talk about this year's election.
Bebo Norman -- 17:45
For our Culture segment, Lisa sits down with Bebo Norman to talk about 13 years in the music biz, marrying at 30, and his latest, self-titled album with a song to Britney Spears. Afterward, Bebo and I shared some funny anecdotes about growing up in the South with unusual names. Oh, and he's also graciously provided his music for the show. Which is awesome.
The College Car -- 42:16
 My first college car was 1980 Mercury Bobcat. Ain't she a beaut? Ah, the memories: the slip of the clutch, the crack in the dash, the really, really, really, really slow acceleration. This week Patrick Dunn recollects his college car and how he drove it to a little place called spiritual maturity.
Strong Community or Strong Preaching? -- 49:35
There's no such thing as the perfect church. So most of us find ourselves committed to a body of believers with strengths in one area and seeming insufficiencies in another. In this week's Inbox, Lisa, Ted, and I answer a question from a young woman who's benefiting from a strong 20-something community at her church but longs for deeper teaching. Should she stay or go?
Well, my trip to Kansas City was great, despite trying to assemble the final elements of my presentation in my hotel room the night before, and despite feeling a bit less put together than the other ladies at the conference. Seriously, I felt like I was at a Mary Kay convention. My fellow attendees (mostly older women) wore suits, had elaborately styled hair, perfectly applied makeup, and coordinating jewelry and handbags. I, on the other hand, stumbled into our upscale hotel in jeans and a hoodie, big sunglasses and minimal makeup.
As a workshop presenter, I was assigned an "assistant" for the weekend, and when she met me in my room to deliver my conference materials, I was barefoot, brushing my teeth, hair askew. I could almost see her mouth the words "No way" when we met. But I pulled myself together and survived. I even donned a dress, jacket and heels for my workshop, and took it in stride when a Nigerian woman told me quite loudly afterwards that the jacket made me look pregnant.
Meet the Parents -- 0:00
Another highlight of the trip was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, since they live in the KC area. I braved this event alone, so yes, I am a saint. That said, they took me out for BBQ (honestly, can anything go wrong when red meat is involved?) and proceeded to winsomely tell me about themselves and then ask a few questions of me. They are all introverts, so I'm pretty sure they went home and imploded after such a social stretch, but I appreciated their effort. They are delightful people. We even took a group photo before parting so they could show me to Nana, my bf's 100-yr-old grandmother, who couldn't join us that evening.
In this week's roundtable, we all share stories of "meeting the parents" for the first time, and discuss what to observe (and what to overlook) in that first, often awkward, get-together.
Population Overload? -- 12:47
6.7 billion and counting. The global population debate rages on. What's the real story? Phillip Longman, author, demographer and unlikely Boundless contributor, has a few things to say about birth rates and their effect on culture, the economy and the balance of world power.
Wait Your Turn! -- 27:55
Remember when in Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy's aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, was appalled that even the younger Bennet girls were "out" before the older ones were married? Well, even modern-day women can sympathize with this seeming affront to what's right and fair. Suzanne Hadley's youngest sister recently married, and while Suzanne was tempted to fume, she instead saw a picture of God's perfect timing. In this week's The Hungry Years, she reflects on what it looks like for God to give good things...exactly when He wants to.
Womb: Closed for Business -- 31:03
She wants kids, but wants to adopt them. All of them. No biological children are in the forecast. And she's frustrated that people criticize her for this decision. Steve and Candice open up the debate, and offer this listener some things to think about as she plans for the future.
By the way, did any of you recognize your bosses this week on Boss' Day? I must give a shout-out to my team, the most awesome in the world, who not only took me out for Indian food, but gave me a fab basket full of Burt's Bees products, chocolate, gum, homemade ginger snaps, and a mix CD of great tunes including some old-school DC Talk: "To the ones that think they heard, I did use the J-word. Cuz I ain't too soft to say it -- even if DJs don't play it!" Classic.
This weekend I'm flying to Kansas City to lead a workshop at a national women's conference, and am really looking forward to it. My subject is the communication barriers found between generations. I'll be trying primarily to help older women understand younger women, and will attempt to convince them that younger women need to be invested in in a very real way, even though on the surface it looks like we're too caught up in our own lives to care.
The differences are there, for sure. A woman at church and I are trying to plan a joint potluck for our Sunday school communities. Her class is mostly 65+, and mine is mostly Gen X and Y singles. My first "whoa" moment was in our initial planning discussion when she announced that she "doesn't do e-mail." Ok, that's cool. My mom doesn't do e-mail, either, so I'm used to that. But then she said, "I sent you a letter with some of the details about the food." What?! A letter? I sat with a dazed look for three minutes at least. She used paper, the post office and a mail carrier to communicate logistics to me? And she used a stamp?
Amazing.
This is gonna be a cool thing, I think. I'm hoping to connect some of our older church members with those in my own generation for mentoring purposes, and perhaps gain new friends outside of our current sphere. Younger folks need to be open to these relationships, and older folks need to see us as worth their time and effort.
On this week's show, we chat about something else that sparks a difference of opinion among varying generations: different versions of the Bible. Many Christians are passionate defenders of their preferred version, including the man who told me once he uses the KJV because "that's what Jesus used." We sum up by giving an overview of the new ESV Study Bible which you can win by entering our contest at Boundless.
Students Take a Stand -- 7:47
We invite four Focus Institute students to the table this week to recap their recent experience on the campus of Colorado State University with Justice For All (JFA). Listen as these students tell what it's like to stand in front of a 22-foot-tall exhibit of grisly abortion photos and try to start a dialogue about it. Wow.
Faithful Finances -- 30:45
Financial expert and author Jeremy White joins us with some helpful tips for navigating the Land of Green, from how to begin the journey to how to stay strong. He includes four principles for wise money management, something we could all use in light of recent events, right? (No, don't check your 401K!)
Healthy Hope at 30 -- 47:24
Eryn Carman, Focus employee and Boundless friend, just turned 30. And she's still single. But before you say, "Awww," let her share in her own words what she's learned, and how she's managed to deflect the weird and often rude comments, while at the same time remaining hopeful ... and available.
Money Before Matrimony? -- 53:10
The author of this week's question has some skillz, and he's putting them to good use. He's an entrepreneur, and is making a success of it. With success comes money, but little time for spouse-hunting. Besides, shouldn't he devote time to his work now while he's on a roll? Of course then there's the problem of avoiding gold diggers once he's made it big. Ha. Steve Watters' response gives him the 411, and it's free of charge.
Well, I'll let you know how the Kansas City conference goes. I'm in the process of reviewing my anecdotes and illustrations to make sure they don't go over anyone's head. Scratch Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake, I guess.
It's Friday afternoon, and pretty quiet around the office. Not that I'm bored, because I'm not. It's a busy media season here at Focus, and we're sending out news releases and interview pitches left and right. But much of my team is gone today, so one of my remaining teammates and I have resorted to singing all of our comments to one another. Yes, really. It's our way of coping with the fact that we ate too much at lunch, didn't exercise, and are dissatisfied with what we're wearing today. I for one, look like I just stepped off a small working farm. Denim skirt, brown sweater, sensible shoes. My sunglasses have been on the top of my head since lunch. Ugh. Time to wrap this whole week up and move on.
We're having some beautiful Fall weather here, and we talk about that at the table this week. Steve gets positively giggly about Fall. Motte hates on Colorado big-time by pining for the East Coast. Ted reminisces about impaling himself on a rake buried beneath a leaf pile. And Candice is all about busting out a baby before Christmas. She could care less about anything else related to this season. I as the dutiful single try to talk about singles retreats, bonfires, hayrides and other singleton staples, but my anecdotes fall on deaf ears. These married people make it all about them. Hm. So let's start the conversation here: what's your favorite part about Autumn?
EINSTFJP -- 5:43
I love the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator! I love taking it, talking about it, finding out others' profiles, and then judging them accordingly. Each member of our team took the test, and we discuss our findings (which are debated) along with the pros and cons of assessing personality in relating to other people. Do personality differences matter? Is too much made of them? What about in dating relationships? Heads-up: If you don't know your MBTI profile, go to the Boundless page on Facebook and take the test, then let us know what you think!
Lies and the Ladies -- 27:49
Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Dannah Gresh are in the studio this week to talk about Lies Young Women Believe, their new book with Moody Publishers. Women are notorious for negative self-talk. Why is this? How do we counter lies with truth? And guys, you're not immune. You believe lies, too, even though you may not write books about them. Listen to this interview with two women who've been there, done that, and learn how to claim Christ's truth in all areas, even when the Enemy's whispers are loud and persistent.
Rules of Engagement -- 50:09
First comes love, then comes marriage. Oops, we forgot engagement. It's that tricky little stage where you make some important strides and decisions. Join Candice, Steve, and me in addressing a listener's question on involving pastors, mentors, family and other influencers before saying "I do." And all of this in-between cake tastings and dress fittings.
Speaking of dress fittings, I had one yesterday for a friend's wedding. I'll be a bridesmaid. It went well, though a couple alterations must be made. For an additional fee, of course. Will anyone even care what I look like? Good grief, let's just get these kids hitched, people! Nah, it'll be fun. I'll plan to run outside and jump in a pile of leaves after the reception. It is Fall, after all.
I'm sore today. As I mention on the front end of this week's show, I started a weightlifting program a couple months ago. It's been going well, though I just took a week off, and then resumed my workouts on Wednesday. Wednesday's lunges and squats stayed with me as though I had never done them before, and I'm finding it difficult to walk today. What is it about lunges and squats that is so unnatural? Is it because I'm accustomed to bending down only when it's to retrieve an Oreo from the floor (and then dust it off and pop it into my mouth)? Is it because no one can do these exercises without obsessing about the size of his/her backside?
The encouraging thing is that as I discuss this with the team, I quickly discover that I exercise more than all of them combined. They're all hung up on the pros and cons of their particular fitness equipment, which is incredibly sad given that we live in Colorado, a decidedly "outdoor" state. Can't anyone burn calories in the fresh mountain air? Apparently not, as Candice is pregnant and must be under supervision, Steve is afraid of running (literally) into a deer, and Motte refuses to exercise in front of people. Eish.
Facebook Nation -- 10:39
While exercise is a sobering topic, the team is much more willing to talk about living vicariously through Facebook. Motte needs Facebook friends, so I shamelessly plead with you to add him. We also muddle through our experiences with the various applications: quizzes, flair, drink orders, "give a gift that no one cares about" ... you know the drill. Finally, I put the real question on the table: are we way too up in one another's business through status updates and wall posts? Are any of us having real (or even private) conversations anymore? What's the weirdest thing you've seen posted? Maybe you posted it?
Brandon Heath: Not Who He Was -- 23:30
I'm going to give Brandon Heath an endorsement right here, because he was so fun and friendly when he joined me in the studio. And he told me his real name, which I'm pretty sure is a groundbreaking interview first. Take that, Barbara Walters. But in-between the chit-chat and the very obvious admiration he had for my interviewing skills, we actually get to talking about his music and his mission. And this dude has both. This week's music is provided by Brandon, so check it out!
This World Is Not My Home -- 50:51
John Thomas is back with the tale of a double-wide trailer. You heard me right. He is from Arkansas, after all. But in the process of upgrading to these accommodations, John learned about what's permanent, and what's definitely, well...not.
Money Madness -- 56:39
Fighting over money is the number one cause of divorce in America. But what if you're not married yet? This week's question addresses sharing financial burdens as a dating couple. Should bfs and gfs lend or give money to one another, especially if it's to bail the other out, or worse, to bail out their family and friends? Candice takes on the mighty dollar in this week's Inbox, and as always, prepares to ruffle some feathers.
It's a packed week, friends. I'll look forward to reading your comments as soon as I stretch my hamstrings and take some ibuprofen. Putting the bag of Oreos on the floor now....
What were you doing ten years ago? I asked myself this question yesterday, and realized that ten years ago, I was in-between jobs, living with my parents and working as a temp for a hotel management company. Side note: This was one of the many temp jobs I held where the execs would look me in the eye and speak to me slowly and deliberately as though the chance of me comprehending their words was incredibly slim. Hello, demeaning. "Yes, sir, I'm pretty sure I know how to work the copy machine, and miraculously, I have a working knowledge of the English language to boot!" Of course then there were those who erred on the opposite side of common sense, like the bank president who gave me the key to the bank vault my first day on the job.
Ten years ago a little webzine called Boundless made its way into the world. I did not read it. I'm not sure I even knew about it (probably because I was living with my parents and working as a temp for a hotel management company). I was generally clueless about life -- especially mine.
Thank goodness things have changed. I now live on my own, even though my mom calls often with unsolicited advice and anecdotes (she left me a lengthy voicemail the other day rhapsodizing about a new bra she purchased). I have a job, and only a few of my coworkers talk down to me, to which I simply reply, "I don't like you." I'm a bit more aware of my life and where it's headed. And I read Boundless. Ten years has worked wonders. Life is good.
Boundless Begins -- 00:00
We kick off this week's show with a special anniversary greeting from Someone Important. In fact, we have a few well-wishers throughout the episode, so heads up. Immediately following, Steve and Candice take us back to the early days of Boundless, including their fight for Boundless' name in a historic boardroom showdown. Thank goodness Candice wore her red power-jacket, or today you could be getting relationship and career advice from "The Ladybug Club" or "Single Saints" or some other totally non-cool entity. But ten years have brought a lot of growth and success, and in this segment we have fun telling the story of how we got here.
Professor Theophilus -- 19:02
Yes, he really exists. In this unique interview, Candice sits down with J. Budziszewski, aka Professor Theophilus, to reminisce about the early days of Boundless, when J-Bud offered straight-shot advice to readers. He tells us which questions surprised him most, and what encourages and discourages him about young adults today. Check the archives for some of his best advice and articles.
I Have a Dream -- 36:21
Why did Steve and Candice decide to start Boundless? Stick with Steve as he identifies with Lisa from The Simpsons in wrestling with a dream and taking on the daunting task of making it happen.
Thanks for the Memories -- 40:42
You have spoken! In this special edition of the Boundless Inbox, we play some of your greetings and testimonials in celebration of Boundless' 10th Anniversary. We got a little weepy listening to some of them. Keep the messages coming, and don't forget to submit your questions and concerns, too.
I don't know about you, but I personally have learned a ton from Boundless. I can honestly say that I am a different person for having read the articles, participated in the blog discussions, and "lived" in and through the podcasts. What's your story? How are you different from who you were ten years ago, and has Boundless helped shape your thoughts and actions in any way?
You think I'm going to talk about getting married here, dontcha? Nope. Well, maybe a little. This week's show has a common theme: commitment. Why do we hate to commit to pretty much anything? It's a disease that doesn't appear to be covered by any HMOs.
Lisa Anderson pet peeve #749: people who don't reply to Evites until the day of the event (or not at all). Infuriating! Because I am either hosting or attending around a million bridal showers, birthday parties, "Let's celebrate your miraculously remaining gainfully employed for more than a week" parties, and of course the obligatory "We're single, so let's have a game night to force socialization among our peers" parties, I know my way around an Evite. I'm not bragging; that's just a fact. And I am so over people keeping their options open. That does not make you appear popular, folks. It does not make you appear interesting, involved, or in-demand. It makes you appear fickle and lame. And Lisa Anderson does not like fickle and lame.
So this show is a breath of fresh air for me, because it features a number of smackdowns. I am the queen of the smackdown. I count the proper delivery of an instructive smackdown among my spiritual gifts. Some people are meant to be encouragers, and others are meant to rebuke the encouragers for being too soft and sissy. That's my job. Listen to this week's show, and you'll get your quota. Get ready for a smackdown on church membership, tithing, choosing a mate, entering into worship, making excuses for your past, and weight management. There's something to offend everyone, trust me. We start out with a reflection on Patriot Day (smackdown issued to terrorists here), and go from there.
Members Only? -- 10:07
Suzanne Hadley and crew are back for Round 2 of our church discussion. This week, we tackle consumerism and transience in churches. Why is membership rarely encouraged anymore? Why are you more likely to hear a sermon on STDs than on tithing? Why can't Bible-believing churches within cities work together to reach their neighborhoods for Christ? What can we as young adults do to change these trends?
Leeland on Love -- 30:14
Leeland is cool. Not only does this band have good music, but its members are super fun, sold out to Jesus, and have awesome hair. Most shows would be content to conduct a fawning, puff-piece interview about Leeland's latest release, The Opposite Way. Not The Boundless Show. Sure, we get the scoop on the record, and even feature some songs, but I pin the guys on marrying as mere kids (hello, you met in Jr. High?), keeping worship real, and using music and influence to reach out to others, including those in the industry.
Identity Theft -- 42:58
Poor Patrick. He has baggage, and he unpacks it for all the world to see in this week's The Hungry Years. But in the process, he muses over what it looks like to drop labels and dysfunction, past and present, and instead identify with Christ. Good stuff.
Am I Fat? -- 48:46
She sent us her photo and asked if she's fat. Oh my goodness. That deserves a Lisa Anderson "Holla!" I am impressed. So we decide to answer her question. Candice and I go into the studio and put pride (ours, too!) on the line as we frankly address the issue of weight as it relates to general health, identity, self-worth, attraction and marriageability. Yikes.
There's a lot here, people. Make sure you're in a decent frame of mind when you take it all in. As always, let us know what you think, and a hearty "thanks" to those of you who have. Don't forget to tell your friends about the show so we can eventually dominate the podcast world. And finally, in a burst of Romper Room nostalgia, I'm going to shout out to some new friends of The Boundless Show: Ian, Jen, Jennifer, Meghan, Jeremy, Heather, Danielle, Joshua, Angelina, Isaac. The list goes on. Contact us and maybe I'll see you in my "mirror," too!
This month Boundless turns 10 years old (more on that later) and we'll be celebrating with a special episode of The Boundless Show next week with surprise guests and special greetings, including yours.
So please help us mark this momentous occasion by calling our toll-free number 866-687-8686 and leaving a warm Happy Anniversary greeting.
Be sure to include your first name, city and state like, "Hi, I'm Motte from Colorado Springs, Colorado and I love Boundless!"
Here's a sample of acceptable comments:
1) The short "Happy Anniversary! Boundless Rocks!" with corresponding enthusiasm
2) The sincere "I just ..." as in "I just wanted to say thanks for all you guys do ..."
3) The rehearsed, 90-second testimonial of how Boundless has changed your life
As always, praise is welcome.
Labor Day has come and gone. The extra day was not enough, especially since I began the long parade of bridal showers I'll be attending in the next couple of months (nine, to be exact).
I'm excited for all of my soon-to-be-married girlfriends, but what is up with women carrying the general shower load? I ask the team this question as we open this week's show. Bridal showers, baby showers, housewarmings, graduations. Yo. Then, in the case of weddings, when the actual day comes, men rent a tux and comb their hair. Women buy a dress they'll never wear again, add new shoes and accessories, get their hair professionally styled into an unnatural updo that exists solely on bobby pins and Aqua Net, pay for a professional manicure and pedicure -- and all of this is in addition to travel, a bachelorette party, and another gift. At least most of us stop eating about a month before the wedding so as to fit into the dress that we ordered two sizes too small in a burst of optimism. There are funds saved in that measure, I guess.
After my lament, which is met with minimal empathy from those at the table, we launch into our other weekend activities. Colorado Springs hosted the Balloon Classic, and Focus on the Family sponsored two balloons, including Arky, the largest balloon at the event. Ted wraps up by telling us about his wife's new camera -- the one that merited a blog post on The Line. We respond appropriately with blank stares.
Traditionalish or Not? -- 8:51
This week we have church, dim sum style. A panel of five singles joins us, all of whom attend very different churches. Why did they choose their respective churches, and what are the pros and cons of each? Are they tempted to church-hop? How have they plugged in, and what does it mean to be a single in today's churches, whatever the size or flavor?
The Muffins, Man -- 42:53
Suzanne Hadley stole a muffin. There's no easy or kind way to say it. But she learned about sin and grace in the process, and shares how lessons from childhood prove applicable even as we get older.
It’s Not a Slumber Party -- 46:30
Girl #1 to Girl #2: "The bf is visiting, so how 'bout if he just stays at our apartment? We won't 'do' anything. It would save some time, some cash, and some hassle." Girl #2 is not happy, and writes to The Boundless Show. Candice offers some practical advice on how to address boundaries in relationships while preserving respect among friends and roommates. No pillow fights necessary.
You'll hear me on the front end of the show talk about our new voicemail box for The Boundless Show. Check it out! Call 1-866-687-8686 and leave a question or comment. We will distribute a compilation of these messages to the entire Boundless team so we can hear your soothing voices as we go to sleep each night. Or, we may feature you on the show. I know. It could happen.
Have a great week, everyone, and Happy September. I'm off to buy another shower gift.
Last week Pew Research Center released a study showing that podcast listenership is growing, though slowly. Currently, 19% of all Internet users say they have downloaded a podcast so they could listen to it or view it later. This most recent percentage is up from 12% of Internet users who reported downloading podcasts in our August 2006 survey and 7% in our February-April 2006 survey.
Still, podcasting has yet to become a fixture in the everyday lives of Internet users, as very few Internet users download podcasts on a typical day. Even of those who say they download podcasts, just 17% do so on a typical day.
It's no surprise that young adults are leading the way in use of this new media. As of May 2008, 27% of young adults ages 18-29 have downloaded a podcast, up 17% from 2006. They also represent the largest demographic of MP3 player owners. 61% of 18-29 year-olds have an iPod or MP3 player.
It's why we launched The Boundless Show, which is one of 43,000 podcasts in existence today. The biggest genres are technology, comedy, religion and spirituality, and business. In case you're wondering, we're in the religion and spirituality genre. Although with host Lisa Anderson's quirky anecdotes, I believe we'd do just as well in comedy.
If you're a fan, let us hear from you. In not, tell us why. You can do so here or on our new toll-free phone number.
Call us now at 866-687-8686 to ask a question or leave a comment. Who knows? -- we might use it in our show.
I went to the Colorado State Fair! I go every year. As we open this week's show, I rhapsodize about why state fairs are so fantastic. When I'm at the fair, I live on the edge: I get an airbrushed tattoo. I have my handwriting analyzed. I ride the Freak Out. I stick my hand into the "What Am I?" boxes at the Natural Resources building. I pet a goat, then eat a funnel cake without applying hand sanitizer.
That's dangerous stuff, folks. But there's something incredibly satisfying about being a suburban girl indulging in a bit of ghetto craziness. It's a concession prize for never being in 4H. It's a reprieve from dressing up every day, doing sensible work and eating protein and salads as if I actually enjoy them. At the State Fair, I can be a different Lisa. And no one judges me. Or if they do, I don't care; I just stomp off to the small animal barn and pet the bunnies.
Tommy Boy's Getting Married -- 6:16
I'm not sure if he copes by petting bunnies, but Tommy McBride knows what it's like to be judged, too. An actor in the upcoming film Fireproof, Tommy is 20 years old and engaged. He's had people tell him (many times) that he's too young to get married. Is he? He shares his story in this week's roundtable as we unpack the pros and cons of marrying young. Do the naysayers have a point, or are they just naysayers? Steve Watters shares some principles for deciding if and when it's time to tie the knot.
Fireproof Countdown -- 18:19
Kirk Cameron almost didn't make it. Scheduled to fly to Colorado Springs for interviews with The Boundless Show plus a little radio program called Focus on the Family, Kirk's plane had to make a crash landing shortly after takeoff. He escaped unscathed, and was gracious enough to join us by phone to talk about Fireproof. Also in studio for this segment is the film's creator, Alex Kendrick (remember him from Facing the Giants?), and Tommy McBride. We talk about the important themes behind Fireproof, and anticipate the impact it will have on marriages and families worldwide.
Walking in Memphis -- 40:07
When you stand in front of Graceland, many things can happen. You may start humming "Fools Rush In." You may get a craving for a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Or you may realize that all the money and fame in the world can't buy happiness, satisfaction or true significance. In this week's installment of "The Hungry Years," Steve shares more about his dad while reflecting on this theme.
Get Smart! -- 45:20
She loves him, but isn't sure he's smart enough for her. He doesn't like to read, isn't up on current events, and isn't a card-carrying member of the "I Have A Degree and Am Not Afraid to Use It" club. Is this a bona fide red flag, or is this listener shallower than the lyrics of an *NSYNC song? Maybe there's a deeper problem here? Candice does her best to get at the root of this "Brains vs. Brawn" dilemma.
Whew. All this typing has made me hungry for a foot long corn dog, cheese curds and strawberry lemonade. But I'm back in the real world, so I'll go home and grill a chicken breast and toss a salad. Bleh.
The Boundless folks finally got my references back, and apparently have been sufficiently convinced that I am, in fact, a Christian. As a result, they're going to let me write the podcast post most weeks. What's more, they even included my bio and photo among the Boundless Line elite, so you can now read my whole life story in a paragraph. You will be blessed.
To celebrate, I sent some of you about 392 copies of Boundless flair on Facebook this week. Sorry about that. Something went awry, my system shut down, and several of you wrote to me saying, "Um, thanks for the outrageous amount of duplicate flair." Again, my apologies, but please find and post the flair on your boards and forward to friends. Please do this without a spirit of bitterness. And please send M&Ms to me here at Focus as a thank-you.
As we chatterboxes kick off this week's show, we wish those in college a "Happy Back to School." We reminisce a bit about our undergrad and graduate years: the stops and starts, laughter and tears -- and the Sponge Man.
The Art of Flirting -- 9:22
Eye contact, hair tossing, "sidewinder" hugs ... file all of these under "flirty behaviors." Join the Boundless team plus Schelau and Mark, two flirty singletons, as we unpack what's hot and what's not when it comes to flirting. Is flirting appropriate for Christian singles? Can you flirt with more than one person at once? Can you flirt while wearing a WWJD bracelet? We'll ask the questions and offer some helpful answers. Except Ted, who apparently started flirting with his wife by looking at her bookshelf. But she married him, so what can I say?
Social Justice -- 29:58
This week, Focus Sr. Vice President Tom Minnery is in the studio to unpack the topic of social justice. Tom, author of Why You Can't Stay Silent, takes on government assistance, tax hikes and the responsibility of the Church while offering a strong case for the continued fight for the unborn and the sanctity of marriage. As the Democratic National Convention kicks off in Denver, check out this segment for some issues-related insight. Tom will teach you a new Greek word in the process. Bonus!
The Heart of Rock and Roll -- 43:33
Steve's dad met Elvis. Yes he did. He was also a musician himself. But aside from the coolness (and you'll see this coolness in a couple samples of his music this week), he learned what it's like to use his gifts in some unexpected ways. So if you can roll your tongue, lick your elbow, walk on stilts or impersonate J-Lo, listen up: there may be a ministry waiting for you.
Relationship Rewind -- 50:14
Bruce and his wife are trying to mentor some dating couples in their church, but feel these couples have put the cart before the horse. Or maybe they can't even see the cart anymore. These couples are excluding others, getting physical, becoming emotionally involved and/or dependent on one another ... all without tackling some of the foundational issues necessary to ensure a solid relationship. What is Bruce to do? How can he and his wife get these couples to take a step (or eight) back in order to get some clarity in their relationships? Motte Brown draws from his own experience to offer guidance to those involved.
As for me, I'm off to practice my flirting skills (insert hair toss and eyelash flutter here).
Copyright 2009 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. The Line and Boundless Line are trademarks of Focus on the Family.
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