Pet Parents? by Heather Koerner on 11/14/2009 at 7:51 AM

During a recent drive, I was listening to the radio. I awoke from my typical "glazed over" demeanor as my ears perked up to a pet store commercial. Between the specials and sales, it urged all "pet parents" to bring their pets along to the store.

Did I hear that right, I wondered? Then it came again. Don't forget, pet parents, that your pets are always welcome at our store.

Pet ... parents? Really? It just sounded odd to me.

Now, I think (or am hoping) that I got their meaning. Maybe they didn't exactly mean "parents," as though pets were equivalent to children. I'm guessing that they probably just wanted words that were a little more endearing than the rather stark "pet owner" -- a phrase that better evoked the care and companionship we often feel for our pets.

I'm hopeful that neither the store nor its customers would equate parenting (the raising and shaping of an eternal soul, an image bearer of God) with the care of a pet. But I wondered, too, if that phrase was a small symbol of a growing fuzziness, even among Christians.

Dr. Albert Mohler writes about that on his blog, as he comments on a recent Associated Press article about the increase of church "special services" for believers and their dogs.

Pointing out that such services represent a "deep theological confusion," he writes:

...As Christians, we are to see the glory of God in the diversity and wonders of the animal kingdom. We are to respect all animals as intentional creations of God and to acknowledge the gifts that these creatures represent.

At the same time ...

As the image-bearers of God, humans alone have the capacity to know and to worship the Creator. Animals reflect the glory of God, but only human beings can see the glory of God and know the Creator. Animals may possess consciousness, but they do not have souls.

...America is a pet-centric culture, and this reveals much about us. We have the wealth to spend billions of dollars on pets. The ownership and enjoyment of pets is a sign of wealth and plenty. We are also a society that is trading human relationships for the companionship of pets. We cut off our elderly from extended family and leave them alone with their pets. We see increasing numbers of younger people who decide not to have children, but instead to pour themselves into relationships with their pets. Restaurants, malls, and hotels are asked to allow pets even as they allow children. Professor Hobgood-Oster points to the pet-centricity of our society as evidence of "the changing family structure, where pets are really central." The woman who brought her two dogs to the "Canines at Covenant" service said, "I don't have any kids, so my pets have always been my children." Postmodern Americans see these statements as evidence of new lifestyle choices. Christians should see these statements as tragic.

Do you think Americans, and those around the world, are "trading human relationships for the companionship of pets"?

Studying to be an SAHM by Heather Koerner on 02/25/2009 at 12:00 PM

There's one scene that I've always distinctly remembered from the film Anne of Green Gables.

It's in the local schoolhouse. A group of older students, including Anne, are staying after school to take a special class to prepare them for the entrance exam to Queens College. Anne is seated while her "bosom friend" Diana begins to walk out of the schoolroom door.

Anne: Aren't you gonna be in the Queens class?

Diana (dejected and eyes down): Mother says I should concentrate on learning to run a household instead of pouring over books so much.

Anne (looking stricken and shocked): Oh, Diana. I feel as though you've tasted the bitterness of death.

Diana drops her head and walks slowly out of the schoolroom to dramatic, mournful music.

I can still remember the indignation I felt towards Diana's mother when I first saw the film. How dare she? Didn't she think that a young woman's mind is important? And how much do you really need to learn to run a household anyway?

The bitterness of death, indeed, I heartily agreed.

My indignation has, however, cooled in recent years. Not because I think that women shouldn't develop their minds. I do, very adamantly. Rather, I have more respect for running a household and the skills that it requires.

In today's Boundless article, "Study to Show Yourself a SAHM," I write about my attitude:

In her article, "Homemaking Internship," Carolyn Mahaney nailed my arrogant attitude:

Young women tend to assume that homemaking doesn't require any advanced skills or preparation. It's similar to what a sixth grader might think about a test covering first-grade material: What's there to study?

That was me: the sixth grader, thinking that being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) would be first-grade work. But that morning, sniffling amidst the burp clothes, was my wake-up call. This was no first-grade work.

I suddenly realized, too, that I had spent six years in college preparing for a career in which I spent five years. But I had spent no time preparing myself for the career that I was about to embark on for the next decade.

Watching Anne of Green Gables, I felt a little contempt for Diana's mother. Maybe I still do. But I've also realized that the "books only" approach I took in my own life was foolish. If I knew I wanted to place family and home as a priority, why didn't my preparation for life reflect that?

There's been much discussion on this blog about the choice of whether to become a stay-at-home mom or not. This article is not about that. It's about taking an honest look at life goals and being intentional about preparing yourself for them.

So, give the article a read. In it, I list five things that I wish I would have done (or wish I would have done more of) to prepare to be a stay-at-home mom. Maybe you know that you want to be a stay-at-home mom someday and would like some idea of how to prepare for it. Maybe you're thinking about it, but feel a little of the same "sixth grader" attitude I did toward running a household. Maybe you haven't decided, but you remember that statistic that I always share with young women. Or, maybe you're a SAHM and have your own wisdom to share. Wherever you are, see if you think the suggestions are helpful and let me know what you think.

Keep Your Snit To Yourself by Ted Slater on 02/21/2009 at 6:00 AM

Ever wonder why your stay-at-home mom (SAHM) friend seems less available than she used to be? You've got a full-time job, and manage to get all your errands done. Not only does she not get all her errands done, but she rarely has time to spend with you.

Is the SAHM's kid "an excuse to relax and enjoy"? Is there some sort of passive-aggressive competition between women with kids and those without? Is the SAHM friend lying about how busy she is, to gain your sympathy?

One single woman wondered about her SAHM friend's unavailability, and made the mistake (if she was looking for a gentle reply) of sending her question to Washington Post columnist Carolyn Hax.

You think some advice columnists can be brutal, check out how Hax begins:

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.

Hax goes on to explain some of the things that keep SAHMs occupied.

Have you found some of your SAHM friends "too busy" for you? How have you found ways to accommodate their schedules, so that you're able to spend time with them? And do you think our columnists should take on a more jousting tone in their responses?