I am fairly analytical. Much of the way I've experienced God has to do with Christianity making sense to me. I've spent a lot of time focusing on the idea of the Christian worldview, first as a student at the Focus Leadership Institute and later with my job as an editor of a worldview webzine. Much of this concept has to do with how Christianity answers big questions about life; it helps us to understand our faith through a framework. It is logical, linear, sensible. It works for me.

But in the last few years, I've realized how God works in so many ways, how He reveals himself to us in ways that we can understand and experience. I first started to realize this when I began digging around the Hebrew roots of Christianity. I learned so much more about the Jewish perspective and how they see God concretely throughout the Scripture — He is a Father, Shepherd, Rock, Shade. I began to understand the wholeness of God's story — all the twists and turns and plot points that were so fascinating to me as a writer.

This weekend I went to an art show put on by one of the students at Denver Seminary. This show was his final project before graduation, a culmination of what he'd learned in his spiritual formation degree program. Each of the attendees received a paper with this student's story on it. The story was told through 10 songs that played while we watched him create an art instillation in front of us. The songs were varied — from the Doxology to Imogen Heap, but the lyrics and the melodies helped portray a variety of experiences and emotions he had been through. We listened to each song, we read about his story, and he created a piece of art in front of us that expressed what God had done in his life. It was messy and confused, dark and light, frightened but redeemed. It was beautiful.

That art show was completely different from how I process things. I would never have thought to express what God had done for me in that way. It's not something that I would ever do, but it was very meaningful for the student and for those of us watching.

I was recently reading in Exodus where God gives Moses instructions for the building of the tabernacle and for all the garments and gold plating and weaving and carving that was to be done. In Exodus 31, God says that He chose Bezalel to make artistic designs, to cut stone and work with wood. Bezalel was filled with the Holy Spirit and given wisdom and understanding specifically for these tasks. All of the workers who would assist him were given skills by God as well. This was fascinating to me because  in the Old Testament, not everyone was filled with the Holy Spirit like all believers are today. The Spirit came upon certain people — usually “big name” people like Saul or David or Elijah for certain times and tasks. And God thought the artistic work of the tabernacle and priestly garments was so important that He sent His Spirit to fill Bezalel so that he could create beauty.

God speaks to us through His Word, through His Spirit, and we express our worship to Him in so many different ways. It may be through analytical thinking, or through storytelling, or through visual art. It may be through song or hospitality or accounting. God can use our skills, our passions, the things that speak to us, for His glory. In fact, He sometimes fills us with His Spirit for that very purpose.

What are some of the ways you've experienced God? How have you used your interests and talents to worship Him and share what He's done in your life?

P.S. I'm having a giveaway over on my blog this week — gift cards, books, etc. You should enter!

How can I make a good impression here? I used to ask myself that question a lot when I came to Focus as a new employee. I would prepare a witty, yet thoughtful response to any question I might receive as I walked the halls; every contingency and every direction a conversation could possibly go was firmly in my grasp. Or so I thought. In reality, I'd soon find myself struggling to speak coherently when meeting new co-workers. The conversation would begin, and within a few moments it would veer outside my planned direction as I stumbled along. According to the Myers-Briggs personality assessment, I'm an ISTJ — an introverted (I), concrete thinker (S) who prefers logic (T) and predictability (J). It's no wonder I get easily flustered; I prefer to know where things are headed.

But there's more to it than that. When around friends, I'm a completely different social being, without a second thought as to what others are thinking. Why? Because I'm more comfortable, but also because I'm not worried about the impression I'm making. C.S. Lewis perhaps conveys it best. In Mere Christianity, when illustrating how we will never find our new selves in Christ if we don't lose our old selves first (Matthew 16:25), Lewis makes this parallel:

Even in social life, you will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making. Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring two pence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.

Lewis uses these musings on the everyday to make a larger point about the spiritual, but even in this small excerpt, there's a lot of truth. How many scenarios can you list where the exact thing you were trying to avoid happened simply because you were self-conscious and trying so hard to avoid it?

Easier said than done, I know, to hear the trite expression, "Just be yourself!" To simply stop worrying about the impression you will make — especially when about to go on a first (or third) date or job interview — is not easily achieved. You should want to make a good impression, no doubt. But how? For me, I think it's best done by speaking with conviction and certainty about what I know to be true and asking plenty of questions about the things I don't; I tend to do the opposite when not consciously thinking about it — never asking enough questions and speaking with conviction about much more than I should. A short prayer ahead of time helps to calm my nerves as well.

But that’s through my eyes, the one trying to make the good impression. What about as the one receiving it? What subtle or not-so-subtle things have people done to leave you with a good impression?

Young adults asking whether or not they are ready to marry is quite common and very important. It is the biggest life-question you will ask, second only to "how shall I respond to the claims of Christ?"

I have been married to my wife for 30 years. We met in high school and got married shortly after graduation. We put each other through college — Jackie first, then me. And I have been working in the arena of marriage all my professional life. None of that means my thoughts are all spot on, but it does imply I have learned a thing or two. So let me give you my thoughts on how to get to good answers on this important question: How do I know if I’m ready to marry?

First, we must recognize the question has much less to do with where you or your prospective spouse are in terms of education and life-prep and much more to do with your beliefs and attitudes about marriage. Here are three things we must understand about marriage:

1) No one is ever fully “ready” for marriage. You must realize that "ready" is largely an illusion. Come to grips with that, and everything else is just small details. Gather a stadium full of couples married 40 years or more, and ask them if they were ready for marriage when they wedded. For most of them, that will be an odd question primarily because they know they were not prepared — nor ever could be — for what marriage would bring to them. They had to dive into that water to learn how to swim in it. And that is how it's been for millennia of folks who have been marrying throughout all cultures. The question of being "ready" is a relatively new cultural phenomenon. This is related to and stems from the second thing we must understand about marriage.

2) Marriage is a transformative institution. This is both in terms of what Gary Thomas so wonderfully teaches us — what if God designed marriage to make us holy, rather than happy? — as well as marriage being about joining yourself to another person as one flesh and how that coupling demands that we change to become a better, more selfless person in ways that no other relationship can rival. Marriage is a profoundly powerful institution and exists in all human cultures precisely because of the change it effects in the people who participate in it.

3) The marriage vow anticipates trouble will come. If marriage were all about a relationship that goes smoothly and offers us no serious challenges, the marriage vow — for better or worse, rich or poor, sickness and health — would not be necessary. For who needs a vow when everything is roses? But the wedding vow anticipates these struggles and asks for unrevokable commitment before the fact. You are set for marriage when you can tell yourself (and your spouse and their family) you are serious and sober enough to recite your vows and really mean it.

Beyond appreciating what marriage actually is and does, you can know that you are able to marry when:

You can leave and cleave. Will you be able to put your spouse before any other earthly relationships, mom, dad, friends, siblings? This means he or she gets first consideration — even before yourself, ideally — and you will be there for her/him before all others. Of course, that doesn't mean you stop being there for anyone else, but only that you don't eclipse your spouse’s needs for the sake of others.

You can't imagine life without this other person. One of the things that made me know marriage to Jackie was my destiny was because I couldn't imagine living my life without her. If your answer to that question regarding a particular mate is "perhaps," "probably" or "of course," you are not ready to marry — at least this person. Now realize what this means and what it doesn’t. Could I live without my arms or my sight? Of course, technically I could live a long fulfilling life without both. But could I imagine living without either? Of course not. That is what I am talking about with a potential spouse. If you hesitate with such a question, you should reflect on why.

You want to deny yourself for the sake of your spouse. I was not and have not been a great success here. Does that mean I should not have gotten married? I don't think so, but if I had been better, I would have saved my wife from a great deal of pain. Few people will ever be close to perfect in this area, but it is something you should be mindful of. Marriage is the giving of yourself and all you are to another person.

Older loved ones — parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, clergy — affirm your maturity. Sometimes we don't see ourselves as clearly as we think. Sometimes we can be overconfident. More often we can doubt our own abilities. If you wonder about your maturity and development for marriage — which is natural — ask those who know you and love you. And trust their answer. They have the benefit of watching you grow over many years and knowing what marriage requires.

Notice I've not said anything about completing college, establishing a career, saving a wad of money, buying a house or being able to afford a killer wedding. Far more people through the ages have married without any of these — and been wildly successful — than married with them. That is because they have nothing to do with whether or not you are ready for marriage. If not being able to have a big wedding is keeping you from marrying your beloved, you should ask if your dream wedding is more important than being one with this person. There is no connection whatsoever between a big to-do wedding and a happy, successful marriage.

The other things — college, career, savings, house — these just might make the process of marrying and starting a family easier, but they are not essential to marriage. Let's go back to our stadium of couples married 40 years or more. Ask them how many had more than one of these things under their belt before they got married. Not many would. And here they are, married 40 years or more.

There is a big difference between "ready" and "easier." Even your parents might tell you these things are important because they want you to be more established than they were when they married. Don't disregard their advice necessarily, but sometimes our parents can wish for us to be safer and more rational than God's sovereignty might allow. I have four daughters. I have told each of them that they may marry at around 35, after starting dating at 28. I know I am going to have to come off this a bit.

Being ready for marriage is about having realistic expectations, understanding what marriage is all about and knowing that you are able to honor your marriage vows to this particular person because your love for them compels you to seek his/her happiness over your own. And no couple ever did this perfectly. And neither will you.

That truth should take a great deal of the pressure off.

***

Look for Part 2 of this blog post later in the week. Glenn will address various factors which affect a couple's likelihood of marital success.

When today’s Boundless Answers letter, “Pulling a Rebekah,” showed up in my inbox, I immediately forwarded it to Lisa Anderson and Candice Watters. It addresses a common question among marriage-minded women, and I was anxious to hear these two ladies’ take on it. Here is a portion of the email:

Boundless encourages single women to put themselves out there — be it online dating, sharing with godly mentors their interest to be matched or joining life groups/ministries where potential mates abound.... My question is this: Does Boundless ever advocate "pulling a Rebekah"? 

Rebekah was in her parents' home, attending to the duties, life and responsibilities God assigned to her in that time. And it was while she was going about her business, faithfully, that her future husband's envoy arrived. The story of Isaac and Rebekah is one of the most beautiful romances. Like, ever. I would wager, too, it's God's preferred MO in comparison to Ruth's situation. That being said, have you all considered encouraging people not to put themselves "out there"?

I agree with this writer that Rebekah’s story is romantic, mostly because it appears to have been so easy. She was faithfully “going about her business when her future husband's envoy arrived.” No panicking as another year came and went. No online dating profile questions to answer. Never wondering, Why have I never been asked out? Never stuck in the friend zone.

Some people’s love stories are just like that: easy. They marry their high school sweetheart or plan their wedding for a week after college graduation. Others are left waiting for marriage much longer. What then?    

In Lisa’s response to this reader’s letter, she told me, “Yes, we can go about our daily lives and trust God to bring us a spouse, but we’d better have the faith to still trust Him when we’re 40 and He still hasn’t delivered.”

Through the help of Boundless and God’s work in each of our lives, Lisa and I have found peace and contentment through “putting ourselves out there” and going about the ministry He’s given us.

“I am much more content now at 40, knowing that I’ve done (and am doing) what’s in my power to do in the process of finding a mate, than I was at 35, just figuring out that I was unhappily still single and feeling somewhat responsible,” Lisa says.

Women, what has your experience been in "putting yourself out there" — or not?

Most mornings — OK, pretty much every morning — I start the day with coffee. (And let me say right up front that I realize that Matt Kaufman wrote a thought-provoking blog about Starbucks earlier this week, “To Boycott or Not to Boycott,” one that’s definitely worth reading and wrestling with.) This very moment, in fact, it’s 5:54 a.m., and I can hear my coffee pot gurgling away earnestly, telling me its brewing cycle is complete — a sound that brings me to my happy place.

I know lots of other folks start the day the same way, but I was still surprised to see the results of a new study that monetarily quantifies our national passion for the little black bean. On Jan. 20, Consumerist.com reported that the average American worker spends $1,092 a year on coffee — more than $20 a week. And among those in the 18- to 34-year-old age bracket, that number is even higher, $24.74 a week, which works out to $1,286.48 by my calculator.

To put those numbers in perspective, the same study noted that the average American worker spends $1,476 annually on gasoline commuting to work. As much as we’ve heard about how high gas prices have taken a bite out of budgets, then, we’re still spending nearly as much on something that’s (in theory) a discretionary luxury.

I suspect I’m right in that range. And I say “I suspect,” because I don’t actually know for sure. My wife and I understand the value of budgeting. But as with lots of good things — like getting to the gym three times a week, eating broccoli, etc., cutting carbs — it’s something that we’re honestly not that great at.

It’s been easy for me to rationalize my coffee habit the last five years, as we’ve had three children in that timeframe — none of whom have been very good sleepers. After being up two or three or six times a night for five years straight, a cup of good coffee seems like a reasonable reward, a small price to pay for something like an adult-level of consciousness in the morning.

But as this study shows, $2.25 for a venti here, $4.76 for a grande decaf skinny peppermint mocha there all adds up. In the end, the real cost is a lot more than $2 or $4 bucks.  

I think there are any number of potential spiritual applications we could draw from this study. But the biggest, perhaps, is this: Our little, seemingly insignificant daily decisions and habits have a real cost over the long term. They shape us, and they influence the outcome of our lives. Studies like this one jar me a bit; they prompt me to sit up, pay attention and ask, “How much am I paying for coffee?” For that matter, what’s the long-term cost of other daily habits I have?

Honestly, I’m not great at long-term calculus. I operate as well-trained American consumer too much of the time — i.e., what’s going to make me feel satisfied right now, and who cares about the long term. But if I’m going to take my stewardship responsibility before Christ seriously, these are the kinds of choices and habits that I need to be willing to scrutinize.

I’m better at rationalization (see note above about sleepless nights) than I am breaking well-established bad habits. Generally speaking, when I’m trying to let go of not-so-healthy pattern, I need others’ help, both for accountability and encouragement.

And that brings me to you. I’d love to hear from you about moments of realization you’ve had that a seemingly harmless preference or daily habit — everybody’s doing it, right? — is something you felt convicted to cut back on or give up completely. What was it? How did you do it? What did it take to change, and what fruit have you seen from your commitment to that discipline? 

This weekend is the Super Bowl, and with it comes the parties, the food, commercials and of course, the big game. I used to think football was one of our harmless American pastimes. Of course, there are plenty of things we can all find fault with — the gazillion dollars we spend on “useless” information and entertainment, the way we sacrifice our time for sports, and we could go on.   

But there is a very dark side to the sporting world: the world of sex trafficking and slavery. Did you know that there were thousands of women and girls trafficked into South Africa for the last World Cup in 2010?

Sex trafficking turns people into commodities — sexual objects to be bought, sold, used and discarded.  Yet it’s easy to think of trafficking as a problem that happens “out there” — in other countries, but not here in America. The reality is that this horrible evil is alive and well in the United States. Some experts believe that at any given moment, approximately 100,000 to 300,000 American youth are at risk for being sexually exploited.

And the biggest event of the year for America’s favorite pastime is one of the places where we find the most human trafficking. Ernie Allen, president of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, says that it’s all about supply and demand. And with the Super Bowl each year, comes a high demand for this kind of atrocity.

Anti-trafficking experts have been working hard to reduce the number of sex trafficking victims that will find themselves on the streets during this year’s Super Bowl in Indianapolis. In fact, Indiana’s governor signed a bill into law that aims to reduce the number of victims bought and sold into sex slavery by providing tougher penalties and an easier way to prosecute sex traffickers.

But as long as there is a demand, there will be a supply. The question is, how are we in the Christian community helping to stop the demand of this horrible industry? If you want to educate yourself more on this topic and find tips on how to get involved in ending this modern-day slavery, check out Focus on the Family's RisingVoice.com. 

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Happy February! February's a good month with lots of fun things to celebrate: Black History Month, Valentine's Day, Presidents' Day, Groundhog Day, Fat Tuesday (oops, scratch that one), and this year is a leap year so we get an extra day at the end of the month. Yay!

What are you celebrating right now? While you're thinking about it, check out this week's show.

Missionary Kids -- 00:00

I was never a missionary kid, but because my parents were missionaries before I was born, I've inherited some of the MK baggage, both good and bad. What's it like to grow up in another country? What's it like to eventually transition back to life in your native land? Do missionaries get a bad rap as entitled, whiny martyrs, or are they elevated as super-saints? Three MKs join me this week to discuss life with one foot in each of two (or more) cultures.

MKs Roundtable: Lisa, Amy Hanson, Jenn Byham, Justin Bull

Sara Groves Bought a Church -- 29:37

Yes, she did. She and her husband, Troy, bought a 100-year-old church in St. Paul, Minn. Find out why in my interview with this singer-songwriter (her new album is Invisible Empires) as we discuss music, marriage, procrastination and Sara's passion for the work of International Justice Mission. 

Segregated Churches? -- 1:00:42

Our listener wonders why, if heaven will be a melting pot of every tongue and tribe, are today's churches so racially divided? Do we not know what it means to be the church, or are we just more comfortable hanging out with people who look like us? Pastor Wade Brown is in the studio with some ideas.  

This week's music is from Sara Groves' latest project, Invisible Empires.

I was recently sent a document titled “Strategies for Advertising to Millennials.” On the cover were three silhouetted Millennials. One was sitting on a bean bag chair on a cell phone, another was lying on the floor on a laptop with headphones, and another girl was playing a video game. (What? Girls play video games?)

What the marketing piece was emphasizing is that the lives of typical Millennials are now completely integrated with technology. And I’m no exception. I feel like I’ve practically grown up with technology. As a young lad, I saved up my lawn-mowing money for months to order my very first CD Boombox out of the JCPenney's catalogue. DC Talk never sounded so good! These days, I use my laptop and iPhone constantly throughout the day.

Technology has been changing rapidly. It’s truly amazing what these time-saving technologies can do. However, we must recognize that these things also change our lives. A few short years ago, people were talking about how email had all but replaced letter writing. Today, Facebook messaging has all but replaced email. Email was so three years ago.

What has struggled to keep up with the changing technology over the past decade is appropriate etiquette in using these technologies. We’ve all had face-to-face conversations cut short as someone responds to a text or takes an incoming call. I’ve seen people answer cell phones in work meetings and recently read about a pastor who took a call at the bedside of someone dying. Bad form.

This is not OK. While I’m tempted to create a list of things you should never do with technology, let me just summarize: Be with the people you are with.

God uniquely created human beings to relate to each other face-to-face. While technology can help us stay connected over distance, we should never sacrifice our ability to relate in person for more time chatting with technology. Let technology be a tool for sending and receiving important information, but don’t slip into building and maintaining relationships with it.

If you’ve been chatting or texting back and forth with a friend, go spend time together. And when you are with people, don’t be distracted by your cell phone. It communicates that the people you are texting are more important than the people you’re with. Unless someone is dying, we should all learn to be fully present with the people we are with.

We should also recognize that technology can easily become an idol. As author Tim Challies writes,

Technology presents us with a unique spiritual challenge. Because it is meant to serve us in fulfilling our created purpose, because it makes our lives easier, longer, and more comfortable, we are prone to assign to it something of a godlike status. We easily rely on technology to give our lives meaning, and we trust technology to provide an ultimate answer to the frustration of life in a fallen world. Because of this, technology is uniquely susceptible to becoming an idol, raising itself to the place of God in our lives.

It’s wise to occasionally take inventory of the hold technology has on our lives. I recently sold my Xbox 360. I don’t really miss it. It’s freed up time for other things that are more important. While I still use technology every day, I’m careful to never use technology or the services it provides to be rude to the people I’m with.

If you were to write a book on technological etiquette, what rules would you include?

"Starbucks: Legalizing Same-Sex Marriage ‘Is Core to Who We Are and What We Value’ " ran the headline to a story I read a few days ago. Not content with having internal domestic-partner policies, the chain is lobbying to redefine marriage in the eyes of the law and the culture. So long, Starbucks, I thought. I haven't given you much business the last few years, but I won't give you any from now on. Do your lobbying with someone else's money, thank you. While I was at it, I emailed the story to some friends, several of whom said they'd drop Starbucks too and spread the word.

That was worth doing. But it was also easy. And things ain't always so easy. I click through a couple of links, for example, and you find that other corporations lobbying to redefine marriage include Microsoft. Ugh: Trying to operate without Microsoft is a much bigger deal than switching coffee-store chains. I click another link, and I find a long list of companies contributing to Planned Parenthood, Starbucks among them. Like Pepsi. Well, darn it, that's the soft drink they serve at my local movie theater! What else am I supposed to drink with my popcorn?

It's not long before I throw up my hands. There are so many companies sponsoring so many objectionable things, says a voice inside me. You can't boycott them all! Or maybe you can, but it'd be a major pain. It's just not worth the time and trouble. There are other things to worry about. So let's just forget the whole thing.

But that's not right either, says another voice. Just because boycotting all of them is a daunting prospect doesn't mean you should just give up completely and not care where your dollars go. OK, you're inconsistent; OK, you're weak or lazy. But at least make some kind of effort, some of the time.

And so it goes in my head, back and forth.

I won't try to tell you where you should draw the line in your life: What to boycott, on what basis, and how much effort to put into researching it and rearranging your life. But I'll ask you about it. What do you boycott, if anything, and why? Do you go back and forth on this like I do?

Have you ever heard a “perfect” love story and thought, Wow, I want my love story to be that beautiful and look exactly like that! Or maybe, I want to do everything right just like they did. I know I’ve heard several similar love stories that have stirred these thoughts in me. Actually, it’s gone beyond just having those thoughts for me; I’ve actually felt pretty pressured in the past to have a love story that happens or looks a certain way.

This past summer was when my perspective started to change. I was in three weddings for close friends. And I was single, so I became slightly more aware of that fact. But I love weddings. I enjoy seeing the love of people around me, seeing happiness brought to my friends, and having a good excuse to dress up and fix my hair really fancy is always welcome!

But as my friends kept announcing their engagements and I shared the news with others, I began to receive an unexpected response from people. Many friends came to me, asking, “Why are they in such a rush to get married?” “Why are they getting married so young?” or “I don’t think they’ve really thought this out.” My engaged friends also came to me with their hurt because of remarks made to them by people who spoke out of bitterness or jealousy.

Throughout this time, God took me through a process of realizing something about the many different love stories in this world. The gradual revelation was so gentle, passionate and relieving: God has written a different love story for all of us.

Really? I’m not supposed to do everything exactly like they did it? It seemed so right and beautiful!

That may very well be the case, but that doesn’t mean their story is as right or as beautiful for you. For some, that may look like an exclusive love relationship with Him. Others may marry their high school sweetheart. Some may meet on a blind date like both sets of my grandparents, or have a whirlwind relationship and engagement like my parents. Like my friends, many will marry young, while others, like my uncle who married at 49, will wait much longer for their bride or groom. Many will experience much pain, betrayal and brokenness on the way, while others struggle against impatience and discontent, feeling as though nothing will ever come their way.

It's vital to remember that God is in control. It’s not really a matter of our giving that control to Him as much as it is a matter of our acknowledging that He’s already in control. There is so much peace in that understanding.

So, whatever your situation may be, stop, take a deep breath and know that He is God. Your best friend’s love story will most likely not be yours. And if you’ve already had a beautiful love story take place, don’t push the expectation of that happening the same way for all of your friends.

You are uniquely you; your spouse will be uniquely him/herself, and together your love story will be uniquely yours.

And that in itself is beautiful.

For most of my life, I don’t think I’ve had an accurate view of prayer. I’ve viewed it as a long-distance relationship with God. I make the call at night, talk about the hopes achieved or the struggles that remain; I thank God for making the day itself possible, and then I say goodnight.

I’m pretty sure that’s been the wrong approach.

My pastor here in Atlanta recently shared a powerful sermon on the story of Lazarus. It’s a subject most of us have heard, and he shared some familiar applications from the text. And those are always meaningful to hear. But he pointed out a new one that I hadn’t thought of before.

When Jesus asked where they placed Lazarus' body, they didn’t respond with a gesture motioning to some tomb down the road. They didn’t just say “over there” or tell him what the tomb was like. They said, “Come and see, Lord.”

They invited Jesus to see the very place where Lazarus was entombed. They invited Jesus to the very source of their pain. It was an action far more intimate than words alone could have accomplished.

And, of course, He followed.

What does that have to do with prayer? Hopefully this next quote will help explain what I mean. Henri Nouwen in his book Bread for the Journey has this entry on Jan. 15:

Prayer is the bridge between our conscious and unconscious lives...to pray is to connect these two sides of our lives by going to the place where God dwells. Prayer is ‘soul work’ because our souls are those sacred centers where all is one and where God is with us in the most intimate way.

Both the sermon mentioned earlier and the quote above have taught me that prayer is so much more than a long-distance relationship. It’s not a telephone call that offsets the distance. It’s a bridge that eliminates the distance.

It allows us to actually meet with God. It allows us to invite Him into the center of our pain and joy. When we do that, He will follow, and conversation becomes communion.

I was recently skimming through Exodus as part of my Bible reading plan and wasn’t really feeling the need to focus much on the story of Moses parting the Red Sea. It’s one those I’ve heard plenty of times, but this time I kept reading. 

When Moses and the Israelites get to the sea, they’re all complaining in fear to Moses because Pharaoh is hot on their trail. Moses tries to calm them down:

Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today … The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still (Exodus 14:13-14).

The encouragement found in this verse is powerful! After I’d highlighted and bookmarked it in my phone, I kept reading: 

Then the Lord said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on" (Exodus 14:15).

Move on? I had to stop and think for a minute, sort my confusion and read it again. I was so excited about Moses’ previous statements about being still that I didn’t go on to see it corrected by God in this verse. I needed to reconsider my highlighting.

Reading the Bible when I was younger, I remember noticing how often it encouraged us to "wait on the Lord" (Psalm 37:7, Isaiah 8:17 and Lamentations 3:24, etc.). Someone had once explained waiting on the Lord to me in a way so new that I’ve never forgotten it. He asked this question: “What do you call a person who takes your order at a restaurant?” A waiter. “What does a waiter do?” They serve you and wait on you.

Dictionary.com provides this definition:

wait on,

a. to perform the duties of an attendant or servant for

b. to supply the wants of a person

That definition challenged me to learn how to serve the Lord whenever I felt called to seasons of waiting — the word serve being filled with a meaning of action. 

In Acts 27:13-44, there’s a story of Paul being imprisoned and sent to Rome. The ship he is on is caught in a storm and is about to be shipwrecked. So Paul, the prisoner, begins to encourage his captors. He knows what God has told him will happen (that he will stand trial before Caesar in Rome), and he says:

So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me. Nevertheless, we must run aground on some island (Acts 27:25-26).

Paul was in a season of waiting for the “next thing” God had for him. How often do we feel we’re waiting on the next thing, sitting on our hands and growing impatient? Instead, Paul decided to be proactive. With amazing faith, he knew there were still practical things that needed to be done. He didn’t trust God and encourage others then sit there and wait as the ship sunk. He took the lead and initiative by suggesting something for the crewmen to do to reach safety.

Maybe right now you find yourself in a season of waiting, and you find comfort in verses like Exodus 14:13-14 and Acts 27:25, inspiring you to stand your ground and have no fear. But don’t forget to read what’s next, calling us to action and service.

Abundant life is not found simply in standing still and trying to convince ourselves to be patient when we’re doing absolutely nothing. The full life is experienced when we use any time we’re given to bring glory to God.

“Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.” —Jim Elliot

I'm sitting on my couch, and my feet are aching. I wore heels last night, and ever since I started grad school, I rarely force my feet into uncomfortable shoes. My feet have become wussy. But I wore heels last night because I was at my friend's wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony and a fun reception with dinner and dancing and good friends.

The best man, the groom's brother, gave a hilarious speech in which he spent a good amount of time making fun of the couple's age difference. You see, my friend, the groom, is 33, and his new bride is 21. The best man spent a lot of time talking about the things the bride would have been learning when his brother was 21. She was 9 and in third grade. Crazy!

They have quite the age gap, but they're great together. They have similar hearts, and their families both think they suit one another perfectly. I have other friends who've married people much older or younger than them, and although it seemed kind of like a big deal at first, it's now normal that they're together. And of course, in other cultures, it's quite normal for people to marry outside of their "age bracket" (although, I usually hear about this solely in terms of older men marrying much younger women in other cultures).

I've only ever dated people close to my age because that's just how it's worked out. However, I thought about it last night, and when I've filled out online dating profiles, I usually put my age limits around five years older or younger than me. I tend to think that much more than five years would be either too old or young. I can see myself dating someone older much easier than I can see myself dating someone 10 years younger than me, however. My level of life experience, maturity (hopefully) and goals seem to fit better with someone who is older than 19, right?

But while at the wedding last night, I wondered if I limit myself a lot by not even considering people who I feel are outside of my age range — in either direction. I know friends who would still be single if they hadn't been open to the idea of dating someone older or younger. And it turned out to be well worth it for them, even if they had to work through some extra complications or endure teasing from their friends.

Do you know people who have married outside of their age range? What are some of the unique complications or benefits? What are some things couples with a big age gap need to be aware of?

In my “day job” over at Plugged In, (Focus on the Family’s media review website), I see lots of movies. Over the last year, I’ve had the privilege of reviewing quite a few films that I walked out of afterward saying something like, “Man, that was a good movie.” And I know my other colleagues at Plugged In felt the same way. More so than any year in recent memory, 2011 was full of films that were aesthetically mesmerizing, emotionally engaging and packed with positive, inspirational messages.

And it turns out the folks behind the Academy Awards apparently feel pretty much the same way.

Earlier this week, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences unveiled its slate of Oscar nominees for this year’s Academy Awards (which ABC will televise on Sunday, Feb. 26, for those of you who want to set your TiVo really early). Compared to some of the grim, nihilistic and existentially bankrupt fare the Academy has nominated for its top award recently — I’m thinking of films like Black Swan last year, as well as The Departed, No Country for Old Men and Atonement in the two or three years before that — this year’s list is both upbeat and, for the most part, accessible to a wide audience.

For example, only one film this year, George Clooney’s The Descendents is rated R (and I'll talk more about that in a moment). Comparatively, six of the 10 nominees last year earned that restrictive rating.

Thematically speaking, there are some other common threads worth noting as well. A number of the films this year deal with poignant stories about family. Hugo and Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, for instance, both emphasize the importance of fathers when young boys in each of those films lose theirs and struggle mightily to make sense of their worlds after the fact. And speaking of dads, three other films focus a great deal on the struggles — and critical importance — of fathers: The Descendents, Moneyball and Tree of Life.

As I mentioned above, The Descendents is the only R-rated film on the list, primarily for some harsh language. Even so, George Clooney's portrayal of a dad struggling to raise his two daughters after his wife suffers a massive head injury and slips into a coma is deeply moving stuff. Honestly, I thought it was one of the most compelling portraits of a family grappling with real-world issues (loss, infidelity, substance abuse, poor communication, showing affection) that I've seen in a long time. As for Moneyball (a story about a maverick baseball manager) and Tree of Life (a story about the legacy of a flawed-but-loving father's influence on his children), well, both of those films starred Brad Pitt in moving roles as dads striving to balance the tricky tension between career and family.   

Still another trio of films, the silent offering The Artist, Martin Scorsese's Hugo and Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris all take sentimental looks (in different ways) at the golden years of the cinema early in the 20th century.

Oscar's final two Best Picture picks, The Help and War Horse, each deliver moving, heartfelt stories about perseverance and overcoming ... in two very different contexts. The Help tells the story, courtesy of a feisty young white journalist, of African-American maids' secret lives and their struggle for dignity. Meanwhile, Steven Spielberg's latest effort, War Horse, invites us to glimpse the horrors of World War I from the unlikely perspective of a heroic equine protagonist.

As always, I'd recommend checking out Plugged In's reviews before seeing any of these films, as several (especially The Descendents) include content you may want to consider carefully ahead of time. Still, compared to virtually any of Oscar's Best Picture collections recently, we're happy to report that 2011 was a banner year at the multiplex.

So what about you? Which of these movies, if any, did you see this year that moved you deeply?

This morning I was reading Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) and came upon a series of verses that have been messing with me. Perhaps they will mess with you, too.

In the middle of His sermon, Jesus brings up prayer and teaches His followers to not be like the hypocrites who pray in public places merely to be seen by others. Then He gives a specific instruction: “But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you” (Matthew 6:6). This is an interesting request with a very real promise.

In the following verses, Jesus gives His followers the Lord’s Prayer (6:9-13) and continues with fasting. Like His advice on prayer, Jesus says not to make it a show. Jesus clearly explains prayer and fasting are not to be done for the sake of reputation, but for a reward from the Father. Look at the similarity: “But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you” (6:17-18).

Jesus takes for granted His followers will be regularly praying and fasting (also in John 5:33-39). And His emphasis seems to be on keeping it secret. Jesus says if we pray and fast to be praised by others that will be the extent of our reward. But if we fast and pray in secret, God will reward us.

Jesus is teaching all Christians to keep running secrets with the Lord. We should all enter into times of secret fasting and prayer. My sense is that this is not the way things are. I believe very few set aside regular times for private prayer and fasting, and this can only result in a lack of reward.

Throughout the long history of God and His people, there have been many times of public fasting and prayer, too. First Samuel, Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther, Daniel and Acts all include times when God’s people fasted and prayed corporately. When we read about the early days of the church in Acts, they were constantly praying and fasting together. Paul fasted for the three days following his conversion on the Damascus Road. The early churches often fasted before sending out missionaries and selecting leaders. Like them, we should restore the exercise of humbling ourselves before the living God and asking Him to do the impossible.

I wish more pastors and leaders were calling God’s people to fast about the tragedies of our day. We should pray and fast, both privately and corporately, to end abortion, human trafficking, pornography, abuse and many other sinful institutions that exist. This was an automatic reflex of the early church. Prayer and fasting changes things, as John Piper puts it: “The Bible is also crystal clear that you have not because you ask not — had you asked, the universe would have been different.” How many of the catastrophes of our day still exist because God’s people are not on their knees, fasting and praying?