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As election season gets cranked up more earnestly in the United States, I'm reminded of the post I entered after last November's election. At that time, several issues and candidates that had been positioned as pro-Christian and pro-family were defeated.
* * *Last night was a long night for people who care about issues like the sanctity of life, the sanctity of marriage, freedom of religious expression and other faith and family issues. What are we supposed to make of the mixed results of various ballot initiatives and races in which these issues were in the spotlight? We can expect lots of political commentary in the next few days proclaiming winners and losers and predicting trends and reactions, but what lies beyond the political?
People of faith can still trust that God is in control and that He hasn't lost our file. We can also be reminded that God works through means -- that He still calls us to be responsible citizens who are active in our representational government, regardless of what direction the political winds are blowing.
I have a bad habit of watching election results in the same way I watch my favorite football and basketball teams -- reading way too much into both wins and losses. At least with election results, however, I'm reminded that we all have the opportunity to be much more than Monday morning quarterbacks. It's a new day and we all have the opportunity to get back out on the field to compete with excellence in the work God's called us to do.
* * *Christian Americans can point to both wins and losses in the public arena since I wrote this post, but the truth remains that we can't read too much into either -- we can't give up with each setback and we can't assume any victory earns us a long vacation from civic involvement.
Last year Boundless published an article from Jonathan Dodson on biblical accountability. It's a helpful article. But I took issue with his repudiation of using of shame in an accountability setting. And then he took issue with my defense of shame.
Read my post and Dodson's response.
* * *If you love your sin like I love mine, you will be well served to read Jonathan Dodson's "Mere Accountability" featured on the home page of Boundless. In it, Dodson challenges us to mortify the sin in our lives by practicing God-honoring accountability -- accountability characterized by confessing our temptations to others, constantly contending with sin through the help of the Holy Spirit, and faith in God's promises and power to overcome sin.
This is good counsel, which I am certain will prove helpful for many if practiced. However, I must contend with Dodson's warning about the use of embarrassment in an accountability structure.
Dodson writes that harm can come from what he terms "confessional booth" accountability that results in us refraining from sin for fear of embarrassment. He argues that it is the power of the cross, not the embarrassment that can come from confession, that is central to defeating sin. I agree, but I do not believe the two are mutually exclusive.
Admitting our weaknesses to others in real and specific ways is appropriately humiliating. Whenever I travel on business with a brother, I ask him to hold me accountable for what I watch on television. My temptation to indulge in R-rated movies late into the evening is simply too much for me to bear alone. And I know that the embarrassment that will come from having to confess such indiscretions will keep me from it.
Does this mean my motivation is wrong? On the contrary, the very reason I asked my brother to hold me accountable in the first place is out of a desire for obedience. In this way, I leverage embarrassment as a means to not "do the very thing I hate."
The willingness to humble yourself before another, risking the shame that comes from confessing temptation and sin, can prove a believer's heart in much the same way as "God-honoring" accountability.
Jonathan Dodson responds:
Thank you for your feedback on my article. As I am sure you are aware, my article concludes with an exhortation to reveal sin to others and ask for accountability in it, recognizing that this "self-humbling" is a means of grace toward overcoming sin and temptation (see the closing anecdote).
However, if we rely upon the mechanism of embarrassment to prevent us from sinning, our resources are limited and not gospel-centered. There are limits to our self-humbling, not so with God's promises. God's promises can break the back of persistent sin, where embarrassment or self-humbling can not. We must be careful to distinguish means of grace from grace, lest our aims at obedience fall succumb to methods and not the power of God's promises.
The aim of obedience through confession and accountability is good, but must be rooted in the gospel-sufficient for our failures and victories.
Last year I saw a stunning video produced by Dove, in which the process of "creating beauty" was revealed. The point of the video was to show that the beauty in magazines and on billboards that women strive for isn't even close to real. Dove's motto is: "Every woman deserves to feel beautiful just the way she is." This sounds really good. But is it truth or pop psychology?
* * *Candice's post on beauty got me thinking about the enslaving nature of living up to a physical ideal. Girl Talk recently discussed the culture's distorted yardstick of physical perfection, as seen in this video produced by the Dove campaign for real beauty. Dove's motto is: "Every woman deserves to feel beautiful just the way she is." Carolyn Mahaney points out how this goal falls short: Even if every girl did "feel beautiful just the way she is," it wouldn't bring her true joy or lasting happiness or solve even one of her problems.
Truth be told, what we all deserve is not to feel beautiful but rather to be condemned to hell for sinfully seeking to attract the worship of our fellow creatures instead of living to bring glory to God.
God did not send Jesus to this earth to die so that women could get over their self-esteem problem and feel better about themselves. No, He sent his Son to die to rescue us from our sinful, futile quest for physical beauty and to reveal to us the satisfaction that comes from knowing God -- whether we are beautiful or not!
I know I have been guilty of exalting and desiring the physical beauty of others. And I have seen friends struggle with low self-esteem and eating disorders as a result of culture's unrealistic standard of beauty. But Carolyn points out that when we seek the world's ideal of beauty, we take our focus off God and miss out on the joy and hope He offers us. Honestly, I am tired of hearing about inner beauty. But I think if I could focus on the beauty of Christ and His sacrifice, I might reflect something that attracts others to Him.
I'm quite interested in the topic of love, marriage and the choices we make when it comes to those two. That's why I was so interested in writing about our expectations when it comes to marriage. A Newsweek article about the number of single mothers sparked my thoughts about why people are just deciding not to get married. Have we created a false impression of what marriage is supposed to be? What do you guys think?
* * *I think we have overly-idealized what marriage is and should be. We expect the person we marry to be perfect, we desire a romantic story to describe how we met, and we hold out forever in search of "the one." The idea of personal choice has been idolized in Western society, and I think it has definitely affected the way we think about marriage. It causes us to delay getting married until we think we'll be supremely happy with that choice.
Is this the most biblical way to think about this life-long commitment? I am reminded of Gary Thomas' book, Sacred Marriage, in which he talks about marriage being intended to make us holy rather than happy. Through marriage, we are to learn how to better glorify God and serve others (namely, your spouse). Marriage is less about my ultimate happiness, and more about continually "being transformed into his likeness" (2 Corinthians 3:18, NIV).
Now, I am not saying that you should run out and marry the next person you meet. I do think there's a lot of wisdom, discernment and prayer involved in choosing a spouse. You don't want to marry any jerk who comes along. However, I do think we should approach marriage in a way that causes us to ponder how this relationship will glorify God instead of how it will be most pleasing to me.
We miss out on so much because of fear. We fear asking her out. We fear going there. We fear what they might think. How might we begin dismantling this intimidating prison? Read on....
* * * I was provoked by Carolyn McCulley's article addressing Fear of Man and its antidote, the Fear of God.
For years I've been trying different ways of growing in this area. One of the simplest, for example, was to start engaging in conversation with the person behind the check-out lane, asking if they could tell I was gearing up for a picnic, eating healthy, or making flan. Over time, my anxiety about talking with someone I didn't know faded.
But now I'm kicking it up a notch. I've found a thrill that gets my heart racing more than participating in extreme sports.
I recently had the opportunity to travel to California to interview Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron, and was further challenged to grow in the area of Fear of Man. This time, specifically in the area of evangelism, something infinitely more significant than a mere chat with the person scanning my canned goods.
Inspired by my time with Ray and Kirk, I've been taking "baby steps," handing out a million dollar bill "ice breaker" (along with a generous tip) to pizza delivery guys. I've only given out three or four, but am encouraged by the responses -- every one of them smiled and took the tract, seeming genuinely thankful.
I may appear foolish doing something as silly as giving out tracts. But frankly, I don't care. Life is too short to fear rejection from the pizza guy. And besides, what if the Lord uses my Jesus Freak foolishness to help someone think about their eternal fate, and perhaps turn to the Lord? The possibility of my looking foolish pales when compared with the possible consequences of my engaging in talk of the eternal.
Since we started allowing comments, some of our most heated ones have been on the topic of when to marry. While we are celebrating our anniversary and digging up classic posts, I thought this one might provide some clarity about how we've tried to address the question, "Is there a magic age to marry?":
* * *Is there a perfect age to marry? Does waiting until your late twenties or thirties give you greater maturity and a stronger financial foundation? Does marrying at a younger age give you a better shot at having prime energy for the parenting years and avoiding sexual sin?
The Washington Times ran an article last week called "Knot Now, Americans Say" [no longer available online] that holds up some of the benefits of marrying young to those who may have a bias to wait until a later age. And I think it's true there is a bias. People who follow my parents' model and get married at 19 and 20 are often looked down on as impetuous. When my sister-in-law got married right out of college, several of her friends criticized her rush to matrimony.
Often this concern is legitimate because of research that shows the greater likelihood of divorce among those who marry in their teens and early twenties. Some well intentioned parents, youth leaders and counselors, however, have given young men and women the impression that every year they wait improves their chances of a strong marriage. The Times article above points to a study by Norval Glenn at the University of Texas that found people who married between 23 and 27 reporting greater satisfaction with their marriages than those who married before and after them. Apparently, there are tradeoffs for delay -- such as greater potential for sexual baggage and a tougher transition for two independent adults into an interdependent relationship.
At the end of the day, advice about prime marrying ages shouldn't be perceived as a message of doom and gloom for those who are already past a certain age or undue pressure for someone to go out and marry just anyone. The primary benefit of knowing the pros and cons of certain marrying ages is when it comes to making a decision about a relationship you're currently in or when it comes to someone intentionally turning down relationship opportunities that come their way because of a bias toward a year that is still down the road.
Often the best answer to the question, "When should I get married?" is "as soon as you are prepared to accept the responsibility of a lifelong commitment to someone you love."
When I created this post last fall, I wrote: "Abandoning the church equates to divorcing Christ." I realized it was a strong statement, but it is one for which I continue to see biblical support. I believe our generation needs to take notice of the things that Christ established as priorities. The church is clearly one of them.
* * *In an ongoing discussion about young adults leaving Christianity, the Barna Research Group reports this week that "despite strong levels of spiritual activity during the teen years, most twentysomethings disengage from active participation in the Christian faith during their young adult years."
The report states that six out of 10 twentysomethings involved in a church during their teens fail to actively pursue Christ into their early adult years. Not only are twentysomethings vacating the church, the report states, they are also not returning. I find this trend, as well as the attitude behind it, disturbing: Loyalty to congregations is one of the casualties of young adulthood: twentysomethings were nearly 70% more likely than older adults to strongly assert that if they "cannot find a local church that will help them become more like Christ, then they will find people and groups that will, and connect with them instead of a local church." They are also significantly less likely to believe that "a person's faith in God is meant to be developed by involvement in a local church."
While churches may be partially to blame for failing to retain young adults, young adults themselves are also guilty. Jesus loves the church. Ephesians 5 informs us that Christ intimately loves and cares for the church; He has chosen her as His bride -- His partner. ("This is a great mystery," Paul says.) Spiritual gifts are meant to be exercised to strengthen the church (1 Corinthians 14). Abandoning the church equates to divorcing Christ. This statement may sound inflammatory, but the privatization of faith -- the idea that I can be a Christ follower free from the accountability of a body of believers -- is not a biblical concept.
And the fallout is evident. Recognizing the damage has already been done in the current twentysomething generation, David Kinnaman, the director of the research, suggests focusing efforts on teens. Speaking of strategies churches need to employ, he says: Another shift, is to develop teenagers' ability to think and process the complexities of life from a biblical viewpoint. This is not so much about having the right head knowledge as it is about helping teens respond to situations and decisions in light of God's principles for life.
Perhaps it's not too late for twentysomethings to do the same -- within the context of the church.
It's September and that means the One Year Bible just wrapped up Ecclesiastes. I never get over how practical Solomon's centuries-old advice is all these many years later. He could have written much of it on his laptop as current as it sounds. If you're not devouring this book, you're missing out. I said as much last year when I was just finishing up the book of Ecclesiastes.
* * *Recently I heard two people I look up to praise J.I. Packer's Knowing God as foundational for Christian living. So I started reading it. One thing that's jumped off the page is the importance of biblical literacy; something my generation and following is woefully lacking.
I suspected as much based on the many emails we receive at Boundless asking things like, "is premarital sex really wrong?" "why is premarital sex a sin -- it's never mentioned in the Bible?" and "what's the big deal about having a wedding ceremony; isn't having sex the same as becoming man and wife?" And these are just the most memorable of the many examples.
But now I know that my hunch is more than anecdotal. The recent Barna Update referred to below reported that "despite strong levels of spiritual activity during the teen years, most twentysomethings disengage from active participation in the Christian faith during their young adult years -- and often beyond that." What does this disengagement look like?
Among other things, "twentysomethings have significantly lower levels of ... time spent alone studying and reading the Bible."
This runs counter to Paul's instruction in Colossians 3:16, "Let the word of Christ dwell in your richly ... with all wisdom." It's no small thing when we cut ourselves off from the Bible.
Packer challenges his readers asking, How long is it since you read right through the Bible? Do you spend as much time with the Bible each day as you do even with the newspaper? What fools some of us are! -- and we remain fools all our lives simply because we will not take the trouble to do what has to be done to receive the wisdom which is God's free gift.
In my case I'd have to substitute library books for the newspaper. In your case, maybe it's television, video games or magazines. I suspect for many it's their iPod. The point is that our lives will bear the fruit of what shapes our beliefs. And if the Bible isn't the primary input, we're in trouble.
Ok, one of my favorite posts from this last year had to do with the Shema -- the core of what the Jews believe about God and their purpose here on earth. I've realized over the past couple of years that although living a life that is pleasing to the Lord is difficult to put into practice, the things we've been asked to do are fairly simple. We are to love God and love our neighbor -- no need to overcomplicate it. Here's a short excerpt about what I've learned about the two greatest commandments.
* * *"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength" (Deuteronomy 6:4-5, NIV).
The Shema (translated "hear" in Hebrew) is the main prayer for Jews. It is often said twice a day -- when you wake up and when you go to bed. It is the staple of Jewish thought and practice.
The Shema is repeated by Jesus in the New Testament: Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:37-40, NIV)
Notice that Jesus says that all of Scripture depends on these two commandments. We are to interpret God's Word through the imperatives to love God and our neighbor.
When I am thinking about modesty, I believe it should be less about how many inches long my skirt is and more about how I can thoughtfully love my neighbor through what I choose to wear.
When I go to work and sit down to write an article, I should be contemplating how can I best love God with my mind -- through the words I type and the message I convey.
These two commands encompass everything we come across in life. I may be sounding repetitive here, but I think this is pretty profound. These commands are so simple, and yet infinitely complex.
The interpretation of these two commands will take a lifetime (or perhaps more!) to implement in a way that is fully pleasing to God. But let us expend all of our energy trying to reach this goal. Let us hear the truth in these words and then spend each and every day doing our best to act them out.
I brought up the topic of intercultural missions last week because it's something very close to my heart. In this post from last October I talk a bit about the year I spent in Mexico, and the remarkable man who founded the ministry I worked with while there.
* * *
We talk about marriage a lot on Boundless, since the Census Bureau estimates that some 90 percent of us marry in our lifetimes. We know, though, that some people are called to celibate service. And that got me thinking earlier today about the year I spent in the verdant mountain jungles of central Mexico....
After a week-long "short-term mission trip" to La Union, a small village a rattling half-hour taxi ride from Xicotepec de Juarez, I found myself offering to return and volunteer for a year, helping out however I could. They accepted the offer.
I served the year at The Centro Cultural Pro-Totonaco, a school that taught Bible and animal husbandry to indigenous teens and twenty-somethings. My time was spent teaching music, picking coffee beans, helping with baptisms, translating for an English-speaking street preacher, making things in the wood shop, helping write newsletters, painting rooms, and chauffeuring people to and from Mexico City.
I'll never forget the director of the center, Manuel Arenas.
Manuel was a Totonac indian who grew up in a poor home with an abusive, alcoholic father. Through a fascinating series of events (chronicled in two books by Hugh Steven), Manuel helped a Wycliffe translator with the first translation of the Totonac New Testament, earned degrees in Germany and the United States, became fluent in five or six languages, and then returned to Mexico to help other Totonacs.
During his years in college he sensed the Lord calling him to a life of celibate service, a life of ministry that was not conducive to married life.
I still remember the talks we had over a dinner of rice and beans and chicken and tortilla, the weekend trips we'd take to Mexico City and Huauchinango and Papantla, hearing him talk with barefoot, wrinkled widows and with fine-clothed dignitaries, the hug before I got on the bus for the 15-hour ride back to the States....
By the time of his death in 1992, Manuel, who lived a rich life serving the Lord as a single man, had left a legacy that continues to affect thousands of fellow Mexicans. And at least one American.
This post was the second most googled post over the past year for the Boundless Line. One commentator wrote simply, "This is the dumbest (expletive) I've ever heard." I'm interested to hear your thoughts sans the expletives.
* * *Many Christians agree that sex is off the table in a dating relationship (and for the purposes of this post I won't go into the different types of sex). But what about lesser forms of physical intimacy like light kissing, hugging or holding hands? Are these okay?
I guess it depends on whether or not you're okay with being considered "off the market" while in a dating relationship.
In an article published yesterday, the New York Times explores what hand-holding means in today's sex saturated culture; saying that as it did in former generations, it still communicates a form of commitment, maybe even more so. "Hand-holding is the one aspect that's not been affected by the sexual revolution," said Dalton Conley, a professor and chairman of the department of sociology at New York University. "It's less about sex than about a public demonstration about coupledom." ...
To hold someone's hand is to offer them affection, protection or comfort. It is a way to communicate that you are off the market.
Though certain kinds of intimate expressions may fall within Paul's instruction to young men in 1 Timothy 5:2 to treat "younger women as sisters, with absolute purity," dating couples should also be concerned about what these expressions mean -- to each other and to those around them.
In a Boundless article published earlier this year, Matt Schmucker explains that we -- men particularly -- must be careful with the implied commitment of seemingly "innocent" forms of physical intimacy. The single men in our churches must be encouraged to ask themselves, "in your relationships with single women, are you painting a false picture and committing fraud?" What may be considered innocent -- holding hands, putting an arm around her in the pew, some "light" kissing, long talks over Starbucks coffee -- all send the message to a sister that reads, "You're mine."
So the question is, is the person you are holding hands with "yours" or just "yours right now"?
Boundless Line is not as news-focused as other blogs, but we have on occasion dug into news stories with insights unavailable elsewhere. In support of the Boundless article Plenty of Men to Go Around Part 2, we dug into Census data and identified the cities and counties with the highest percentage of never married men.
Here are some highlights from those posts:
* * *I just want to give a shout out to all the guys in Bozeman, Montana; Ames, Iowa; and Cullman, Alabama. ... Bozeman, Ames and Cullman were right around the top for areas with the highest ratio of never married men to never married women.
I started wondering this morning if the news that the great majority of U.S. towns and cities have a higher ratio of never-married young men than women would create a scarcity crisis among men. Are men who see they are outnumbered going to get motivated and start competing with the men around them for the pool of available women?
Today, the Wall Street Journal reported on another category from that survey -- counties with the highest percentage of never married men and women. By looking at numbers from entire counties and focusing on the percentage of never marrieds by gender, they came up with a list that was pretty different--and skewed toward counties with large college populations. Here's what they had:
Most Single Men
Clarke County, GA 55.6% never married men
District of Columbia, D.C. 50.4%
Suffolk County, MA 49.0%
McKinley County, NM 48.5%
Montgomery County, VA 48.1%
Most Single Women
District of Columbia, D.C. 47.5% never married women
Clarke County, GA 47.2%
Suffolk County, MA 45.1%
St. Louis City, MO 42.9%
Philadelphia County, PA 41.8%
* * *Any readers from these areas? Thoughts on the greater percentage of never married men?
I wrote my own pre-comments "Burning Bush" post with some practical advice from Dr. Albert Mohler. In it, Dr. Mohler describes his "romantic grid" for deciding whether the person you're dating is "the one." What do you guys think?
* * *After reading Steve's post Choosing Obedience over Options, I wonder how many couples are waiting for a burning bush before they know if they've found "the one." I wonder if they've ever been taught how to know.
Generally speaking, the way Christians date mirrors society. A couple goes out a few times, they like each other and then spend the next 8 months dating exclusively, looking for some sign to show them whether or not they should get married. The problem is, there is no sign -- harps don't play and clouds don't part. As a result, the months turn into years.
I am certain this would have happened to my wife and me if someone hadn't stepped in with some practical advice after our 8 months of dating. It was similar to the advice Dr. Albert Mohler shared with one of his seminary students when he asked, "How do I know she's the girl I'm supposed to marry?"
Dr. Mohler tells this story (which I've edited slightly for formatting) at the 2004 New Attitude Conference: Dr. Mohler: Well, let's just figure this out from a biblical perspective. You are a man, she is a woman, we're headed into positive territory here. All right, are you a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ?
Seminary Student (SS): Absolutely.
Dr. Mohler: Well, Scripture absolutely forbids that you marry anyone who is not. Is she a follower of Jesus? Does she have about her the signs of regeneration? Does she love the Lord?
SS: Absolutely.
Dr. Mohler: What about the body of Christ? Do your closest Christian friends who know both of you see you bringing out the best and the godliest in each other? Do they see your relationship as a holy thing? What about your parents? Do you have godly parents?
SS: Yes, I have believing parents. So does she.
Dr. Mohler: Well, that's really important. Nobody knows you right now better than your own parents. No one knows her better than her own parents. And as they come to know you, and as your parents come to know her, do they see you bringing out the very best in each other?
SS: Yes, my parents are excited about it, her parents are excited about it, and all our friends are excited about it.
Dr. Mohler: Well, go get her! Sign the papers! Do whatever it is you have to do!
So let's sum up what Dr. Mohler refers to as his "romantic grid."
- Are you both members of the opposite sex?
- Are you both believers in Christ evidenced by signs of regeneration?
- Do your Christian friends bear witness to your edifying relationship?
- Do your Christian parents believe it to be a good match?
If the answer is yes to all of the above, who needs a sign?
Even though summer isn't over till the 21st of September, in my mind, today is the start of fall. I'm ready for crisp air, ripe pumpkins, apple cider and sweaters. The sun may be beating down and it's probably 80 degrees outside, but in my heart, it's autumn. And that means back-to-school and back-to-routine. Ah routine. I long for it. Especially after three months of relaxing the pace.
The best thing about routine is early to bed and early to rise, because it's only when I get up early -- 5 a.m. early -- that I have time to read the Bible and pray. It's part of the rhythm of my life, as one of my first posts from this time last year reveals: * * *During this morning's quiet time, it dawned on me -- well before dawn -- that I've become dependent on time alone with God. And the only way I can get it is to get up early. Of course in Colorado, rising before the sun often brings the benefit of actually seeing the "purple mountains majesty."
But that stunning view of Pike's Peak alone isn't enough to wake me. It's what happens when I miss that window.
Nothing gets me off to a worse start than oversleeping only to wake to the sound of kids already up and raring to go. No quiet. No alone time. And no peace. I need the daily direction I get when I spend time reading the Bible. The Psalms and Proverbs are especially helpful during this demanding season of rearing small children. Having uninterrupted time for listening for God's voice -- specifically asking Him what the priorities for the day should be -- and meditating on what He's already said to me in his Word, has become the most important thing I do each day. When I don't, I feel like a ship without a rudder and a car with no gasoline. I lack both direction and power.
It really does make a difference.
Feeding Your Soul by Jean Fleming talks about how to have a quiet time. It's a very practical handbook that ends with a prayer that includes the line, "Make me what You had in mind when You created me ..." I love that image of a blueprint for my life; of a master designer drawing up plans for what my life should be. That's not to say I always conform to the plan. And often what should be is not what is.
And so I get up early again. Today and tomorrow and the next day. There's just something about early.
I thought to pull this post from last year out of the vault after recently finishing the book of Job in my devotional reading.
* * *Well, guys there's a new standard for masculinity you need to be aware of -- the Brawny Man. For years, he just had his picture on paper towels, but now he's whipping men into shape to be the man their wives and girlfriends want. At BrawnyMan.com you can catch the story of 8 men who get made over by Mr. Brawny.
The program blends lots of tongue-in-cheek humor with straight-up reality show material that at times actually tries to make a point about what a well-rounded man looks like. Of course, the primary goal is to sell a lot of paper towels -- or at least enough to cover the thousand or so rolls used in the production of the series. Who knew paper towels could be used in so many manly activities? Could Brawny paper towels replace duct tape in the contemporary man's tool chest?
Some of the best points Mr. Brawny makes have to do with men being responsible protectors and thoughtful romancers. Of course, the big message Georgia-Pacific hopes men catch is that they need to do more around the house ... using a lot of Brawny paper towels.
He may never get his picture on products in grocery stores or get his own clever Web production, but my favorite role model is still Job. While none of us would want to experience the kind of suffering Job endured, the profile that emerges in Job 29 is a perfect male counterpart to the Proverbs 31 woman we often hear about.
Job 29 holds up a man who is blessed by intimacy with God and his family and is respected and honored by young and old alike. Why is he honored? Because he is a strong protector who rescues the poor and the fatherless, cares for the widow and the dying man among other compassionate acts. But he's also a man of justice and righteousness who breaks the fangs of the wicked and snatches victims from the wicked's teeth.
Months from now, the Brawny man model may go the way of the urban cowboy, the metrosexual and other fads of male models, yet Job, one of the oldest stories in the Bible continues to hold up a timeless model for today's men.
* * *I noticed in the time since I posted this that the Brawny Man camp has come and gone -- at least the competition I mentioned is no longer anywhere to be found. Job 29 appears to still be available online.
Fall is nearly here, and with it, a rash of new entertainment choices in the form of television programming. According to an article in USA Today, "Much of the space normally filled by CSI clones has gone to the children of Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy." And while some of the ungodly messages contained in such shows are obvious (e.g. sexual promiscuity), others are more subtle. Last fall I wrote about the flawed messages media sends about marriage and children. In light of the nature of the programming hitting this fall, an offensive stance is in order.
* * *In this week's article, "Ruth Revisited," I think Candice did an excellent job of clarifying the biblical account of the Moabitess and appropriately applying it to singles' present-day pursuit of marriage. Sharing the account of her own path to matrimony, Candice writes of herself and husband, Steve: Despite the fact that both of us came from intact Christian families, where marriage and children were esteemed and even held up as goals, we still had absorbed lots of contradictory cultural messages. We needed to be reminded that some of what we believed about love and romance and marriage was true, but a lot of it was simply a reflection of what we'd learned from too many hours in front of the television.
The "cultural messages" found in TV and movies often contradict what God says is true. Shows like "Friends," "Gilmore Girls" and "Grey's Anatomy," glorify the single life and show marriage as a last resort. Reading descriptions of the fall prime-time television lineup is like reading anti-marriage advertisements. The summary of "Happy Hour," a sit-com on Fox, says: "In Larry's opinion, Brad has suffered a fate worse than death -- he's gotten engaged to the shrew TINA (Jamie Denbo), a cold and controlling fiancée who's immune to Larry's considerable charm."
This portrayal of marriage is prevalent. Marriage is a trap. Children are a nuisance. Live it up while you can. The problem is, as Candice points out, these messages couldn't be further from the truth.
Actor Owen Wilson returned home today after an alleged suicide attempt last Sunday, August 26th. It's difficult for many to understand why someone who seemingly "has it all" could do something like that. I understand, if only a little.
Here's an abridged version of a post I wrote on depression and suicide after pro football player Terrell Owens's "misunderstood" suicide attempt.
* * *Not many people understand depression and how it can lead to suicide. It's different for those who have experienced it. In Roberto Rivera E Carlo's Boundless article Mood Disorders and A Reason to Live, he writes, "I know all about the infelicitous brain chemistry than can make it almost impossible to get out of bed." He understands it. And I do too, if only a little.
For a period of 8 months in my twenties, my mind was as best as I can describe, clouded. The only peace I had was when I was asleep (Oh how I loved sleep). The problem was that, in a blink, it was over. Every morning despair would return like a thick haze after only a few moments of waking clarity.
There is nothing more frightening than suffering depression to the point where you look forward to going to sleep in order to escape a broken mind. It is exactly at that point when you begin to see the peace that death offers.
Focus on the Family has a staff of more than 20 licensed Christian counselors available to talk with you. If you are struggling with depression or mood disorders and would like to talk with one of them, please call (719) 531-3400 Monday-Friday 9-4:30 (Mountain time), and ask for the Counseling department at extension 7700. One of the counselors' assistants will arrange for a counselor to call you back at no charge to you.
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