I Could Care Less
by Ted Slater on 11/06/2009 at 11:10 AM

Hm. Yeah? How much less?

I think what you mean is that you couldn't care less.

Carry on.

The (Not So) Itsy Bitsy Spider ...
by Ted Slater on 10/20/2009 at 4:23 PM

... climbed up the side of my front door the other day. Intrigued by all things on the fringe of normalcy, my inner arachnologist provoked me to draw near. It was brown, it was hairy, it was pulsating with venom.

Or maybe not.

It's not a brown recluse, or a black widow, or a camel spider, or a dung beetle. The thing is, I don't really know what it is. Any idea?

Oh, I do want to say that no creatures were harmed over the course of my study. But that wouldn't be true.

Spider1

Spider2

Spider3

Aliens Among Us
by Ted Slater on 08/11/2009 at 2:52 PM

For some reason, I wasn't afraid. I guess I simply felt like an ambassador as I looked at the alien in front of me. I wasn't particularly brave; I was just doing what was right by engaging this strange creature with civility.

It was handsome, though I'm confident that I was seeing some sort of high-tech mask or illusion rather than its real features. Though it was wearing a normal shirt, I could tell that its "chest" consisted of tentacles and tubes.

Again, though, that didn't bother me.

The alien was trying to help me not be afraid. It asked me to look at its face as it showed me a bit more what it really looked like. Now, instead of two eyes, there were five. I let my eyes unfocus, let my brain play tricks on me, and I saw only two.

I was becoming accustomed to this otherworldly creature, seeing it as normal, as a friend.

Later that night, as it was resting on a couch, it quietly confessed to me that they were actually our enemies, and were going to destroy us. That meant a lot to me, that this alien would entrust me with this information.

The next day I found myself driving in a car, or maybe I was witnessing someone else driving a car, and an alien was commandeering the vehicle from a distance, bent on steering it over a cliff or into a tree.

Then I woke up.

It must've been like 3 in the morning. I was sweating, oddly enjoying the drama but sobered by how real it seemed.

Then something unexpected came to my 3-in-the-morning mind: There are sentient creatures who lurk around us, who are not human but who interact with us from time to time, who give the appearance of being harmless, but who mean us harm. There are aliens who've come to this planet with a secretive mission to destroy us: fallen angels. Demons.




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