Single Guy Living with a Widow

This morning I read about a homeless man who imposed himself on an impoverished single woman -- a widow with a son -- asking her to feed him and provide him housing. He ends up staying in her home, in a room near the attic, for a while, regularly helping himself to her fridge.

One day the widow's son dies, and the man takes the boy to his room, alone, and puts the boy on his bed and lays on him.

OK, at this point, what do you think of all this odd behavior? And what would you think if you learned that this homeless man was in fact a prophet of God, Elijah? Yup, check out 1 Kings 17:8-24 for the whole story.

So now I'm wondering: What principles can I gather from this passage? Is this story saying that there are times when it is appropriate for a single man and a single woman to live under the same roof? Or were such arrangements only permissible B.C., when Old Testament prophets often "acted out" the Word of the Lord in alarming ways?

I do note that the man in this case is committed to a life of celibate service, and does not seem to be physically or emotionally entangled with the woman. I also do have to wonder what the neighbors thought of this living arrangement ...

We learn how to live our lives well by looking to Scripture -- not simply to imitate specific actions, but to unpack and embrace the principles behind those actions.

So, what principles can we draw from this story? Maybe this story is more about God displaying His sustaining faithfulness during difficult times than about this single man and single woman? I wonder if maybe, then, our story should be more about God and His faithfulness than about ourselves. If so, what does that really mean?

Comments

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1. Mike Theemling said the following at 11:03 AM on Jul 1:

Misleading accuracies not withstanding (Elijah did not, "help himself" to her fridge. The text clearly says he asked her to make him a meal and promised beforehand that the flour and oil would not run out), there a number of lessons that can be gleaned from this.

First is that the woman showed hospitality be bringing water to a supposed stranger at his request. It also implies that she would've given Elijah something to eat but she pointed out that she had nothing made but ingredients for one last meal. That says something about how to treat strangers (with discretion and wisdom of course).

Secondly, it may have been that God knew that the widow's son would die and God's power would be displayed, this leading Elijah to her. It was a demonstration of God's power as well as the faith it produced from the widow's belief in Yahweh.

Finally, as Jesus pointed out, the story gives a glimpse of God's compassion to not just the Hebrew people, but towards everyone including Gentiles. God's love was meant for the entire world.

That's my take at least.

2. Josh said the following at 1:03 PM on Jul 1:

What is the sin of a single man and woman living under the same roof? I'm pretty sure the Bible doesn't talk about that. Obviously the sin comes when two people enter into a non-marital sexual relationship. Surely we should not infer law from other laws. Then we are bordering on Phariseeism and we are burdening God's children with an unnecessarily heavy load.

I'm glad that this article looks past that to the truths behind it, but I am just shocked that we even have to ADDRESS the issue in the context of this story...

3. Jo said the following at 3:15 PM on Jul 1:

I agree with Josh. I think in most cases a single guy and single woman of similar age living together without other people probably isn't wise, and might be interpreted the wrong way by others. But I certainly wouldn't brand it as sin in and of itself.

And culture, as always, plays a big part. There's not any suggestion that Elijah staying with the widow was considered inappropriate, despite the Jews' obvious disapproval of sexual immorality. So I never really assumed it was out of the ordinary, and perhaps it wasn't.

4. Peter said the following at 5:00 PM on Jul 1:

There is a difference between that which is immoral, and that which is unwise, because it makes immoral behaviour more likely.

5. EKB said the following at 7:23 PM on Jul 1:

I think this is a great example of how important it is to separate actual sins from gray areas that might be complicated by culture, circumstances, etc, and how we shouldn't be quick to judge others unless we know for a fact that they are actually sinning.

I think Christians are very quick to make slippery slope arguments about sin. Here is one I see a lot in various forms: "Drinking alcohol isn't technically a sin, but if somebody sees you drinking even moderately, they might assume you support drunkenness. Therefore, no true Christian should drink." Abstaining from alcohol is a perfectly moral choice and probably even best for some; the problem is many people choose to impose their own scruples on everyone else. They cross the line from "I choose not to drink at all" to "Christians shouldn't drink at all."

Another prime example is kissing. We know for certain that premarital sex and even lust are sinful, but it is easy to fall into the trap of judging others who don't draw the same lines we do to keep them on right side of the lust vs. affection line. For one couple, kissing on the lips or even hugging might present too much of a temptation to lust or go further. For another, they may genuinely be able to kiss with pure intentions. The first couple shouldn't be judged as prudes, and the second shouldn't be judged as promiscuous.

Man looks at appearances, but God looks at the heart.

6. Stephanie said the following at 7:59 PM on Jul 1:

I think the correct tense is, "puts the boy on his bed and lies on him."

7. Bex said the following at 7:59 AM on Jul 2:

"What principles can I gather from this passage?" GOD KNOWS!
If we judge based on externals, I would be the first to gossip about this widow. I would also be calling Child protection services when I hear about Abraham's attempt @ sacrificing Isaac. And the second my pastor Hosea brought to church his new wife, that harlot Gomer, you won't have to worry about the schism in the Anglican Church, I'd develope a new denomination on my own!
Bottom line, the ACTS people perform in the Old Testament were symbolic of thier heart. We should emulate thier heart and faith and use discerment at thier actions.
(P.S> remember Ruth lying down where Boaz was? If Naomi told me to do so, I'd rebuke her and tell her that i'd probably cause him to struggle with lust - dark room, perfumed foreign/exotic woman @ his feet... it does not take a genius to know where this could have headed!)

8. Adam said the following at 1:55 PM on Jul 2:

"I do note that the man in this case is committed to a life of celibate service..."

Not quite sure where you get this idea. It seems like you are giving Elijah too much credit. I'm not aware of anywhere that speaks of Elijah's sexual practices. I also see no evidence that he was purposefully putting off marriage in order to serve God.

9. davebeldon said the following at 3:23 PM on Jul 2:

I think most scholars would agree that the historical genres of the Bible are descriptive and not necessarily prescriptive. The Bible is silent on a lot the actions of historical characters. We cant necessarily infer the morality of everything people did or we would be having multiple wives, killing our enemies with oxgoads, or setting fields on fire with foxes.

10. a said the following at 5:08 PM on Jul 2:

I like the last paragraph part that says: "Maybe this story is more about God displaying His sustaining faithfulness during difficult times than about this single man and single woman? I wonder if maybe, then, our story should be more about God and His faithfulness than about ourselves." I think that's a very good point.

11. brx said the following at 4:49 PM on Jul 3:

Let's be clear; she showed basic hospitality akin to "love thy neighbor" but he clearly demonstrated that he was a prophet of the Lord before he stayed with her.

This does remind me of an oddly cool experience a few years ago. I was leaving a country club late at night after dancing (real lead/follow dancing, not club booty or line dancing). On the sidewalk on the empty street on the way to my car was a lone, elder man, skinny, wearing shabby clothes, and slowly pushing a cart with some black plastic bags in it. Thinking about whether I had any granola bars in the car or money to give him, I realized I did not. Yet, there was a sense that I should at least say hello and not ignore him. Mustering some courage for the moment, (sorry, I'm not always boldly social) and walking up to him, "hello" I said "I just thought I should say hello." We chatted for a moment about something trivial like the weather, clarity and temperature of the evening until I told him my name and asked his. "My name is Elijah" he said. Nothing more was coming to mind to talk about; so, "Well, it was nice to meet you but it's getting late and I need to work tomorrow." Then he replied with something unnexpected in a very genuine tone: "hey, thanks for not just coming over and trying to offer or give me stuff - people always try to give me stuff." "Sorry" was my reply, "I didn't really have anything to give you." "Thank you all the same." was from him. "Well, I hope to see you again, Elijah" said I and waved beginning to turn toward my car. "You will" in a simple, confident, and calm tone he replied.

It didn't occur to me until I had driven a couple blocks: Elijah, as in the prophet of the Lord... "you will" see him again... Interesting... I haven't yet seen him though. Yet. :)

Grace, peace & adventures!

12. Ann said the following at 5:06 AM on Jul 4:

There's a really interesting story by Paulo Coelho that's all about this incident - "The Fifth Mountain". It's fiction, of course, but the thoughts which run through the minds of Elijah, the Widow of Zaraphath, Obadiah, and the townspeople are quite possible: Elijah's thoughts of the inappropriateness of the situation, the Widow's feelings towards being seen as a tramp, the townspeople's gossip, and - most interestingly - the political maneuvering by the town's leaders.