"God told me to."
by Chelsey Munneke on 07/14/2010 at 1:49 PM
Ever heard these words or said them yourself, "I just really feel like God is telling me to (fill in the blank)"? People say this quite a bit and most sincerely believe it. And though God may not hang banners from the sky or sit down next to us in Starbucks to tell us His thoughts, He can definitely make His will known to us ... if we ask for it.
There is a huge difference between seeking God’s will and simply waiting for it. I have the tendency to sit in God’s waiting room. I have a question, I ask it, and then I wait ... and wait ... and before I know it I get fed up with waiting (because I have minimal patience) and make a decision based on emotion.
Once the decision is made, it is easy to sign God off on it and claim that it must have been His will. This decision making process may take less time, but I can assure it is not the most effective.
Seeking God’s will can be discouraging and time consuming. We can’t expect to get answers from God when we mumble our prayers as we drift off to sleep at night and leave it at that. Seeking God’s will requires work, commitment, and time. God gave us His word, His people, His spirit, and His Son all for a reason. These are resources that we should use daily and be pouring ourselves into them and through them.
As a Christian it is exciting to know what God wants for our lives and feel Him working in us. BUT we also have a responsibility to use this knowledge wisely. Before you justify your reason for doing something as "I just really know this is what God wants" make sure you are saying this in 100% honesty.
Simply put, be careful not to forge God’s signature on a decision or an action. Use discernment between hearing His calling and acting on your (fallen) human emotions.
1. Becky said the following at 2:00 PM on Jul 14:
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I totally agree - I very rarely say that God told me to do something directly because I think it's all to easy to assign that to our own decisions and thinking, or to misinterpret ourselves or things around us as God speaking to us. I still struggle to know whether it's God speaking to me or just my heart interfering, but I believe that by praying hard for wisdom and discernment, we will be able to allow God to guide us - even if we never hear an audible voice or witness a miraculous revelation of God's will.
2. Tami said the following at 2:17 PM on Jul 14:
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Nice post. I was just reflecting on how difficult it is to seek God's will -- I don't mean that it's hard to know and understand His revealed will (that is, what He has said in His Word) and to learn it, but to REALLY internalize it and make His will your #1 priority, especially in seasons of struggle and suffering.
3. Peter said the following at 5:32 PM on Jul 14:
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I strongly agree with this post.
I do not know of one, single occasion in the NT, in which Christians received obviously supernatural guidance in response to a prayer requesting it. On the contrary, we are commanded to pray for wisdom, which is the skill of making good decisions. Nowhere do I see endorsement for putting the responsibility for all of our decsions upon God
I have become convinced that - within certain obvious limits - God is more concerned with how we make decisions and deal with the consequences, than He is with what those decisions are.
Peter
4. Jordan said the following at 9:40 PM on Jul 14:
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The best book (and it's short) that I've read concerning knowing God's will is "Just Do Something" by pastor Kevin DeYoung. I highly recommend it to everyone. It's Bible-based and SO helpful!
5. Steve said the following at 9:54 PM on Jul 14:
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A solid piece. The part concerning "mumbling our prayers before we drift off to sleep" especially hits home.
6. Marie said the following at 2:47 AM on Jul 15:
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My pastor recently did a series on the three tools we have to help us discern God's will for our lives. Go to the Bible to see what it says about the subject, ask Godly mentors in our lives to glean wisdom from them, and pray for God to use the prophetic. He said that these three things make up a triangle, with prophetic at the top, mentors in the middle, and the Bible on the bottom. The Bible should be our first stop, and a lot of our answers can be found there, which is why it occupies the biggest part of the triangle. The prophetic, while important and Biblically based, is probably going to be something used less often, so it has the smallest part of the triangle. Christians tend to have one of the three that they favor, but it's important to use all three when making decisions. Even if you don't receive a prophetic word, you can pray, and of course reading your Bible and seeking Godly council is always a great idea.
7. Jeffrey Whiting said the following at 6:15 AM on Jul 15:
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The theory of 'God's perfect will' (by which is meant a detailed life plan uniquely suited for each believer that we have to discover and follow) suffers from significant practical and theological difficulties its supporters are usually either unaware of or are unwilling to admit to.
Here are a couple problems with it in brief:
For one, it creates commandments where there are none. We are never commanded to "find God's will". We are commanded to obey it, which would be impossible if it were not already revealed by God.
It is purely subjective. There is no objective criteria to measure the importance of this or that piece of subjective phenomenon (circumstance, intuition, et. al.). Much of trying to 'find God's will' is an exercise in unnecessary speculation.
Also, it is frequently used offensively as a way to coerce a certain response from other believers (for example: 'God told me not to date you', 'this building project is God's will', et. al.).
I highly recommend Decision Making and the Will of God by Gary Friesen of Multnomah Bible College, which contains a much more detailed critique.
8. Sarah P. said the following at 8:41 AM on Jul 15:
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Peter, there are several places where the Holy Spirit provides supernatural guidance in the book of Acts.
13:2 -- "As they ministered to the Lord, and fasted, the Holy Ghost said, Separate me Barnabas and Saul for the work whereunto I have called them."
16:6-12 -- Restrained by the Holy Spirit from travel to original destinations, they went to another instead.
God promises to "direct our paths" if we trust in Him "with all our heart, and lean not on our own understanding." He typically directs only one step at a time, however.
I ask God for wisdom and guidance all the time, and I have no problem with believing that He is giving it. :) When I get in trouble is normally when I start projecting and predicting why He is asking me to do certain things in the moment. I often don't have any idea how events will intersect each other.
In following a dance, one has to stay light on her feet, ready to move in any direction, while at the same time be aware of how her partner is likely to lead. :)
9. Jeffrey Whiting said the following at 9:34 AM on Jul 15:
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Re #8: your examples from Acts are instances of direct, supernatural revelation.
They do not prove or support the subjective approach to finding God's will ("I felt in my heart that God wanted me to do it.").
I like your use of metaphor to describe our relationship with God as a dance, but I would also point out that God does not "drop hints" and when He does "lead" it will be unmistakable and unmissable. When He commands we should obey, otherwise He leaves our decisions free and we should avoid unnecessary speculation about "what He wants me to do".
10. -WL- said the following at 9:50 AM on Jul 15:
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Jordan #4 .. I second that book recommendation! Very concise and biblical explanation of God's will.
Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung
http://www.amazon.com/Just-Do-Something-Decision-Without/dp/0802458386/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1279208994&sr=8-1
"How to Make a Decision Without Dreams, Visions, Fleeces, Open Doors, Random Bible Verses, Casting Lots, Liver Shivers, Writing in the Sky, etc."
11. Trevor Dolby said the following at 10:23 AM on Jul 15:
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Sarah P. (8) is quite right that there are Biblical cases of guidance – St. Philip is another, when the Spirit tells him to go to the chariot of an Ethiopian. The entire First Council of Jerusalem is yet another case. Clearly, the Holy Spirit has guided people directly in the past, and we have no reason to believe this has changed.
However, Jesus also talks about people claiming to do things in His name, and explains that He will eventually say “I never knew you” despite their claims.
St. Paul mentions the idea of keeping in step with the Spirit, which I think is the best way to view this. As Jeffrey Whiting points out, there isn't a “detailed life plan” that can be determined in advance for all of life; God works through His relationship with us to guide us as we go, so we never actually know what the end goal is in most cases. What we do get is the next step we need to take.
I like Sarah's dance analogy, too: I love dancing with girls who go where they're led and aren't always trying to force things. It allows me to create dance sequences that are fun and show the girl off to her best advantage, in the confidence that what I lead will actually be followed.
Good subject for a post, too. Thanks to Chelsey for tackling this enormous subject.
12. Tara said the following at 10:33 AM on Jul 15:
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Sometimes what we want is the same as what God wants. One does not necessarily negate the other. God just doesn't conform our actions to His but our wills as well. The more you seek after Him the more you will WANT what He would want. So if you desire to do something with your life you can know it is what He would want for you.
And God DOES have specific plans for you. Stop putting Him in a box or make Christianity to be such a dry, pointless existence or that the Bible is simply an instruction manual. God DOES care about the decisions you make. He wants to get involved in your life. He can speak super naturally or through the mundane. Those of us in ministry have countless, countless tales of interaction with God. But He wants that relationship with all of His followers!
I know my God and I know His Spirit because of His Word so give me some credit. I can tell the difference between my own petulant emotions and His Voice. Jesus said His sheep know His Voice.
Sarah P, I totally agree with you!
Marie, your pastor sounds like a wise, Godly man. :)
13. Ben said the following at 10:56 AM on Jul 15:
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My friend and I were just talking about God's will this morning. We were talking about stories we had heard where someone did something for seemingly no reason and missed a great catastrophe in their lives.
When we parked our car to go out witnessing, we parked next to a man with his hood up. I began talking to this man about the things of the Lord. He didn't accept Christ, but I believe that talking to Miguel was a divine appointment.
I really don't believe that we can "miss" God's will, but I do believe that me have a choice to obey God. God's eternal purposes will be accomplished, but we still have a free will. So we can choose not to God's will, but we can't not do God's will. Try wrapping your noggin around that quandary! :)
14. Sarah P. said the following at 12:02 PM on Jul 15:
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Jeffrey Whiting (#9) said: Re #8: your examples from Acts are instances of direct, supernatural revelation.
They do not prove or support the subjective approach to finding God's will ("I felt in my heart that God wanted me to do it.").
How d'you think the Holy Spirit sounded to Paul? Was it an audible voice? An impression? The Bible doesn't say, but leaves it a mystery.
I like your use of metaphor to describe our relationship with God as a dance, but I would also point out that God does not "drop hints" and when He does "lead" it will be unmistakable and unmissable.
Some men who lead a dance are very forceful. They practically shove you into position. The best dancers, however, have worked together as partners long enough that the man scarcely has to touch the woman for her to know where to go. The subtlest hint is enough. So it is with God. The closer we walk with Him, the quieter He is able to be.
Sometimes He seems to step away altogether. This is a sign of great honor, to allow us to walk by faith. In contrast, I know in my life I have had instructions that were absolutely obvious. Usually, God had to do that when He knew I was about to be unusually dense -- or after a long series of "quieter" signals I had misunderstood or ignored.
God will accomplish His purposes, but He loves us so much that He wants us to participate.
15. Sarah P. said the following at 1:08 PM on Jul 15:
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Also, we do have to be moving in the first place, which is where DeYoung comes in. :)
16. Josh said the following at 1:12 PM on Jul 15:
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I can understand people's desires to "know God's will"; it makes us feel there is a path laid out for us and all we have to do is act. The faster you act, the quicker you get down the path (though I think you'll agree the end product of that path, while beautiful, is certainly not something to be rushed).
And we do need to address the apathy which pervades youth and young adults of this generation. Acting does not take any more than the volition to act and the knowledge of which direction to act.
Yet what do people make of the many times in the Bible where it says "wait on the Lord"? There are passages such as "Moses answered them, "Wait until I find out what the LORD commands concerning you." (Num 9:8), "I will wait for the LORD, who is hiding his face from the house of Jacob. I will put my trust in him." (Isa 8:17), "Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" (Isa 30:18), "I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'" (Lam 3:24), "But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." (Rom 8:25), "Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God." (1 Cor 4:5) and many from Psalms: "In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." (Ps 5:3), "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." (Ps 27:14), "We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield." (Ps 33:20), "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes." (Ps 37:7), "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry." (Ps 40:1), "Be still, and know that I am God" (Ps 46:10), "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." (Ps 130:5).
Waiting sucks. It's hard. It's (often) boring and unnerving at the same time. But by doing it we gain so much more than acting out of a desire to fill this void of inaction. God desires a relationship with you. Were you to have a loved one who always told you what to do but you never spent quality time with them, what kind of relationship would that be?
Action is prefaced by indication that this action is appropriate. What can you do while waiting? Develop character indicative of the God you serve and the love He has shown for you. After all, even if you should follow the will of God for your life, it will mean nothing if you are not acting like the person God sees you to be. Sometimes God gives you opportunities to wait and sometimes opportunities for action; you can ask for direction and it may come in different ways. But never assume that simply by asking you will instantly get a response to act on. Life isn't like that and God is certainly not like that. If it's His will, let's admit that it will be in His time.
17. Prickly Pete said the following at 1:41 PM on Jul 15:
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The Bible actually does say -- in Acts 9:4, "He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him...", and again in verse 7, "The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone."
I would agree with Jeffrey -- when God wishes to directly lead someone (as He very rarely does in all of human history), He does so clearly and unmistakably. Sensing the Holy Spirit's guidance is a much more subtle and difficult process, and because of that I think we should be much more cautious in claiming God's approval based primarily on our own emotions.
18. Tami said the following at 2:05 PM on Jul 15:
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Prickly Pete (17), why are you convinced that the Spirit leads "very rarely"?
We certainly need an all-encompassing knowledge of God and His Word, and we glean our proper wisdom from it.
But to say the Spirit leads "very rarely" seems just as presumptuous as saying that every instinct we have was a word from the Lord.
19. Prickly Pete said the following at 2:38 PM on Jul 15:
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Tami (#18):
I am not saying that, I was trying to differentiate between 1) the clear, purposefully direction of God (as in the example of Saul's conversion) and 2) the guidance of the Holy Spirit, because I think the distinction is extremely important. The guidance of the Spirit is MUCH more common, but is also much more difficult to identify, which is why I think believers must be much more careful when they speak of it. Too many talk about that second kind of guidance as if it were the first kind, and thus risk claiming the explicit approval of God for decisions that were motivated by their own emotions.
20. Peter said the following at 4:28 PM on Jul 15:
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Sarah P. (#8)
What I said was, "I do not know of one, single occasion in the NT, in which Christians received obviously supernatural guidance in response to a prayer requesting it.
When the Apostles had a major decision to make, the nature of God's guidance was not clearly miraculous. There was no disembodied hand writing on the wall. To choose a replacement for Judas, they did the equivalent of tossing a coin. To determine the place (or not) of circumcision in Christianity, the closest they could honestly come was that it seemed good to the Holy Spirit.
Are we more spiritual than they?
God works in our lives in a number of ways, including by His providence, by His giftings, by His word and within our hearts. I believe that we do not honour all that God has given us when we focus on only one aspect of God's guidance and use as a proof-text, the "still small voice", which is only mentioned once in the entire Bible.
Regards.... Peter
21. Peter said the following at 4:42 PM on Jul 15:
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Josh (#16)
I suggest that you put "waiting" in context with James 1:5-7
5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
Wisdom, as Solomon famously demonstrated, is not asking God for every answer, but the skill of assessing all the relevant criteria and coming up with a good answer. Note that we are commanded to "believe that we have it". We are not commanded to endlessly pray, but to accept that our prayer has been answered, which means actually going out and using the wisdom that we've been praying for. In this context, continued waiting is little more than a confession that God has not what He has promised. No wonder the man who acts like this is characterised as being unstable. I have known people like this who are so desperate to "hear from God" rather than makinging their own decisions, that they turn every imagined whim into a "still small voice" .
Regards.... Peter
22. Sarah P. said the following at 8:15 AM on Jul 16:
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Peter (#20) said: What I said was, "I do not know of one, single occasion in the NT, in which Christians received obviously supernatural guidance in response to a prayer requesting it.
That seems a bit of a stretch to me. In the examples I cited, sure, it doesn't say, "They prayed, and then the Holy Ghost said..." It doesn't explain one way or another the process of hearing from the Holy Spirit. They could have prayed, or cast lots, or dreamed, or what-have-you.
For me, I am growing in constant conversation with God. I have so many projects and things I am working on that I cannot easily discern on my own what the next priority should be. The major way I keep from anxiety is by entering each new bloc of time by asking, "God, what do you think I shouuld do with this time?" Usually, I will instantly capture a priority and start working.
Are you asking God for guidance? In the book of James, it says that we "have not, because we ask not. We ask and receive not, because we ask amiss, that we may consume it upon our lusts" (4.2-3).
I remember how you mentioned several years of asking God all the time for something you wanted and feeling at the end of it like something went wrong. Like I said in response to that post, maybe nothing went wrong. Maybe God said "No."
I know that's happened to me. I didn't understand what "No" looked like, or why it would occur, so when I tried to barrel through such a situation I wound up utterly exhausted and depleted. So now I pray in two parts: "Lord, give me the eyes to see what you want and the courage and strength to obey."
I think part of the mistake is also when we confuse what is supernatural or not. When we understand a Bible verse, that is supernatural. When we selflessly love someone, that is supernatural. The Holy Spirit "speaks" through everything.
I prayed last night that the Holy Spirit would show you some of His guidance today. That was a little bold, and so I am curious to see what happens.
23. khalil said the following at 10:34 AM on Jul 16:
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I know a person (female) who had a young man come to her in church one day, he mentioned that God told him he needed to talk to her and ask her out on a date. Her response, "Gee, I better ask my husband for permission...".
Her husband was the pastor of the church.
24. Trevor Dolby said the following at 10:42 AM on Jul 16:
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Sarah P. (14): I think you and Jeffrey Whiting are both right about the dance metaphor :)
I know from my own experience that when a woman has no clue how to dance, but is willing to be led, I end up having to push and/or hold quite hard simply because she needs more help knowing which way to go. It's not that there's anything “wrong” with her: she just hasn't quite caught on to how the signals work yet. Women tend to appreciate a firm lead, especially beginners.
The one thing that I can't correct for easily is an unwillingness to be led: that makes dancing almost impossible. Cluelessness, clumsiness, even drunkenness: those are manageable compared to a stiff-necked refusal to follow.
I suspect the analogy is quite good as far as it relates to our following God.
25. Tami said the following at 11:06 AM on Jul 16:
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Hi Prickly Pete, I see where you're going and I agree with most of what you wrote... but I still think that God gives explicit direction much more often than we might think. I've read too many stories (especially from missionaries) where God's specific guidance was explicitly clear to think it's as rare as we might assume. That said, as you wrote, we need to be careful what we claim in God's name.
26. James said the following at 2:23 PM on Jul 16:
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Several years ago, a family friend wrote a letter saying Jesus had told her to come home early, so she did. This really turned me off to the God's will mentality, charismatic people and churches especially - I make no apologies for it - they creep me out. I have not had any really dramatic decisions to make in my life yet, but I think my approach would be the same as I normally try to do - I read my Bible, pray, seek advice from others, and ultimately make the decision I feel is right.
27. BDB said the following at 9:53 PM on Jul 17:
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There are many giants of the faith that learned to hear God's voice directing them to take specific actions. As Tami mentions, it seems to be written about more by missionaries.
There's a basic issue faced by faith-based missionaries: they rely on others to be moved to give money when God moves them. In other words, their livelihood depends entirely on other people hearing from God.
The writing of George Müller is a fascinating read of all the things God told him to do, and how they came aboout. Usually quite a bit of prayer and waiting was required. But it's all documented.
28. brx said the following at 4:28 PM on Jul 18:
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Yep. I would add that a good test is whether you can explain just how you know God is telling you ...fill-in-the-blank... IE, I've asked God such-n-such and I think God answered clearly in these ways... and I can't see any red flags or lights.
In the absence of a red or green light, it's generally ok to proceed with humble caution.
Grace, peace & humble caution :)
29. Peter said the following at 8:58 PM on Jul 18:
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Sarah P. (#22)
Sorry to delay getting back to you. I've been away from the computer since Friday, but I can recall nothing happening over the last 3 days that I would consider "guidance" out side my normal consideration of scripture and the current challenges in my life. (Friday evening was spent in the company of some very ungodly people indeed, and dealing with this has been an ongoing challenge ..)
While it is reasonable that the Spirit would work within people who regularly and constantly seek God and study scripture, we should be wary of placing much emphasis on seeking guidance in a way that scripture does not show in the NT. Mostly, guidance appears to be either unsought, or of the kind that can easily be contrued as simple chance. Call it providence, if you will.
Have you noticed that the scripture you cite - James 4:2-3 - is actually referring not to miraculous guidance as such, but to wisdom? (James 3:13-18)
My own story is that, by a promise to God, I locked myself into waiting for an indisputable answer from Him. I did not specify how the answer was to come, just that I would find it convincing. I never did get such an answer, and what I did "get" cannot be objectively validated except to note that I am still single and no better option has come my way.
The problem with attributing apparent failures of prayer as a specific answer of "no" is that it is very, very subjective. Have I made poor business decisions because God wants me to be poor, or because I didn't do my homework on the subject? Or was it simply a drought that applied to "the just and the unjust". Am I single because God said "no", or because I made a mistake? I don't know, but I'm certainly not going to blame God when the responsibility - in hindsight - was very probably mine.
I'm going to argue that God has given us a high level of responsibility when it comes to making decisions in our lives, and that attempting to put that responsibility back on God is not being obedient.
Regards..... Peter
30. Sarah P. said the following at 9:07 AM on Jul 20:
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Fair enough, Peter, on lack of any "guidance" or signs thereof. Though I know God does guide, whether through wisdom or via some means that strikes us as unusual. Again, looking at the end of James 3:
"But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, than peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy."
True wisdom is given only by God. It isn't something we work up on our own.
--
So, back to the original point of the post, I agree that saying "God told me" is usually unwise. But that is because it misunderstands how God often speaks, not because He doesn't speak.
So, if you gained true wisdom from an experience, and if true wisdom comes only from God, then it stands to reason that God was speaking to you in that experience. He also speaks through His Word:
"With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments. Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. Blessed art thou, O Lord: teach me thy statutes" (Ps. 119:10-12).
Through the world:
"The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament showeth his handiwork. Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night showeth knowledge. There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard" (Ps. 19:1-3).
Through people:
"Follow after charity, and desire spiritual gifts, but rather that ye may prophesy. For he that speaketh in an unknown tongue speaketh not unto men, but unto God: for no man understandeth him; howbeit in the spirit he speaketh mysteries. But he that prophesieth speaketh unto men to edification, and exhortation, and comfort" (I Cor. 14:1-3).
I am passionate about this, as you can see. :)
31. Trevor Dolby said the following at 12:04 PM on Jul 20:
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Peter (29): Your description of waiting for an answer sounds rather familiar to me :(
Long after the events, I have come to realise that we sometimes ask God the wrong questions, and have to be willing to accept “that's the wrong question” as His answer. This can be really hard to deal with: imagine a second-year college student asking God “what major should I choose?” and being told “actually, you're not even supposed to be in college at all!”
In my case, I simply went ahead and “just did something” despite not hearing from God, and that part of life has turned to ashes in front of me. Everything I tried to build outside His will has gone badly wrong, and I am only now (after a long time) back where I should be, and making up for lost time in doing the good works He prepared in advance for me to do.
The problem normally is that we have to rewind life quite a bit to get back to the actual point where we diverged from God's plan. If the student in my example had ignored the answer and then started praying about jobs/careers/whatever afterward, then he would have to accept that a lot of his life had been lived on the wrong path. The Israelites did this sort of thing at one point when approaching the promised land, and Abraham's plea “oh, if only Ishmael could live before you” reflects a similar feeling.
Note that this is not about salvation; there's never been any doubt about God's love for me or where I will go after death. It's also never too late to turn to God and follow Him: He will always direct us on the best possible path from wherever we are.
(Disclaimer: There's also loads more detail I've left out, wisdom does have a place in all this, we're not called to be robots, YMMV, your home may be repossessed if you fail to keep up mortgage payments, etc, etc)
32. Kevin said the following at 1:46 PM on Jan 17:
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Correct. We need to use biblical, God-given wisdom in our decision-making.