Baby Fever
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 05/03/2010 at 3:19 PM
I was on a plane yesterday. And so I grabbed for the nearest reading material, which happened to be Hemispheres Inflight Magazine. I began reading an article about the upcoming documentary Babies. Directed by Thomas Balmes, the film is already receiving favorable reviews.
Out this month from Focus Features, Babies documents a year in the life of four infants -- one each in Namibia, Mongolia, Tokyo and San Francisco -- from birth through the torments of teething to their first unsteady steps. Nearly 80 minutes long and virtually dialogue-free, Babies is one of Balmes’ stark observational documentaries, which also include examinations of mad cow disease and tribes in Papua New Guinea. Embedded with his subjects, whom he cast while they were still in the womb, Balmes blends into the background and keeps his camera rolling as “reality offers these amazing moments.”
Based on the preview, it seems this is a film brings to life the everyday beauty of having a child (something often skipped over in media). But it was Balmes' vision for the film that struck me:
Scenes are presented without narration, which is one of the film’s great strengths. “I don’t like to take the viewer by the hand,” says Balmes. But there’s no guidance needed to get the message of Babies, which demonstrates that despite how little these far-flung families seem to have in common, when it comes to our earliest experiences, humans around the world aren’t so different after all.
Imparting such lessons is the overarching goal of Babies, which Balmes insists is about more than adorable cheeks and chubby toes. He hopes the film inspires viewers to see the world anew. “Hopefully it will make some of them want to have kids, too,” he says. “It’s one of the most beautiful things in the world.”
How many artists out there are affirming the beauty of family life in such a dramatic way? Perhaps Balmes himself was inspired by observing it up close. I once read that Shirley Temple was responsible for the baby boom. "People watched her on screen," one researcher noted, "and everybody wanted one." I wonder if Babies will inspire people in a similar way. It seems that Balmes hopes so.
1. Tami said the following at 4:21 PM on May 3:
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I think it's funny it's from "Focus Features," which has nothing to do with FOTF :)
2. JuliestD said the following at 4:41 PM on May 3:
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But should everyone have kids?
Obviously, most kids don't end up like Shirley Temple, all dimpled and adorable.
It seems like a lot of people have children without any plan for why, beyond the fact that kids are cute when they're little.
I like children. That is why I am frightened. There are lots of children who seem to come into the world for no greater reason than some people have for getting a cute dog.
("we'll be more of a family" "we'll have someone who loves us we can love" "they're cute" "all our friends are having them")
As you can tell, I'm struggling with this issue. My husband and I alternately really want to have a child and really are not sure if having a child is a good idea. Because our child would not be just our child. She/he is a person.
My husband and I have barely made a world for ourselves worth living in. I don't see anyone out there making much of a world for people to live in or thinking about what God wants us to do. Is the answer more people? I don't know.
I'm questioning, and grieving ...I have no idea. Just throwing this out there.
3. Kellie said the following at 4:56 PM on May 3:
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I would hate to think a movie (or a tv show or any kind of pop culture) would motivate someone to have a child. It makes me think of how when movies featuring a particular dog breed come out a few months later shelters end up flooded with that particular breed.
Don't get me wrong, I think babies and children are great, but I think one of the best motivations for having a baby is having a healthy marriage and together desiring to start a family.
4. Gina said the following at 5:05 PM on May 3:
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I don't think Shirley could have been responsible -- she was popular in the '30s, and the baby boom started in the mid-'40s. However, it's true that she was adorable. :-)
5. farmer Tom said the following at 5:40 PM on May 3:
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I'm totally serious, when I say this,
I thought this was going to be your announcement of a bundle of joy coming into your life.
6. SaraL said the following at 6:07 PM on May 3:
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I can't wait to see it... less for the "cute babies" reason and more because I am fascinated by the different ways people raise their children. I think taking four very different case studies and blending them into a film makes an interesting concept. I think Balmes could have done that by taking four different families in the U.S., but perhaps by taking four families from all around the world it will promote some cultural understanding.
7. Sasha said the following at 6:38 PM on May 3:
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I can't wait to see this film! The preview was so beautiful.
8. MizattA said the following at 6:57 PM on May 3:
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God Calls us to be Fruitful with Children and to Produce God Honoring Offspring. I believe that based on seeing the amount of people who verbally abusive, sexually or physical abusive to their kids, the amount of passive parents out there and the amount of people who abandon their kids that it is very clear that it is false logic to think that every person should be raising and having children. I believe that if people take the time to actually have an involved thought process that goes over who they are and possibly what medical conditions they have and those who wouldn't be God honoring parents used that process to figure out they are not the people to be having kids we would be better off.
I am not against kids. One of the godliest men I know has 10 and I think that is amazing, not for me but amazing none the less. However, I believe the focus should not be on how many kids we can pop out and put into the world but on having the right people having the kids. That would honor God a lot more than just having a lot of people on the planet.
9. Evan said the following at 7:46 PM on May 3:
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I saw a preview for this, but had completely forgotten about it. I think I'll look it up.
10. Keb said the following at 9:14 PM on May 3:
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The movie looks adorable, and life affirming. It makes me sad, though, because I'm going through a time when it's hard to believe I'm ever going to have the opportunity to have any of my own. Whether I adopt or concieve or both...I'm not willing to do it without a husband by my side, and I'm not sure I'm ever going to have one. So things like this make me a little sad.
11. Callie said the following at 12:26 AM on May 4:
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I hope so too!
I love having a baby! I haven't gotten a full nights sleep in 7 weeks now, but he is the cutest, most amazing gift the Lord has ever given me, aside from salvation!
12. farmer Tom said the following at 5:36 AM on May 4:
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I have to follow up my first comment.
So, Suzanne are you having some serious baby fever?
13. Suzanne Hadley Gosselin said the following at 9:06 AM on May 4:
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Farmer Tom: After it went live, I realized how that sounded, but no, no announcement. :)
14. Victoria said the following at 9:59 AM on May 4:
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I am not much of a baby person and wasn't sure if I wanted kids. But after my son was born, I think, "Why would anyone NOT want this?" It is the deepest, most profound love I've ever experienced, totally different from the way you love your spouse or your family. I think the closest comparison would be how our Heavenly Father loves us. It is totally all-consuming and unconditional. I feel that couples who choose to forego children are missing out! There is no amount of fun, sleeping in, freedom, etc. that compares to the joy of having a child! (And remember, I am NOT even a baby person...) People who are in doubt or scared to have kids should just take the plunge, because the love you will experience as a result will take your breath away. Can't wait to have more kids!!!
15. Renee41 said the following at 10:45 AM on May 4:
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Keb: It made me sad to read your post. I am a single mom. I adopted my son from Russia a little over a year ago. I won't kid - being a single parent is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but it is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. Parenting has brought me closer to God in ways that I never thought possible. Adopting as a single parent wasn't something I took lightly. I thought about it for years and prayed about it for a long time. My mom and others prayed about it and I also sought about Godly wisdom from an older Christian woman. I am not trying to change your mind. A father and a mother are best, but in a world filled with orphans who need a home and with God's call to Christians to care for orphans, it is something definitely worth praying about. I was almost 40 when I got my referral for my son. I don't regret adopting him and I don't regret having to deal with some of the tough issues I have had. It might not be easy but I can see God's hand in every part of the process.
16. RLynn said the following at 11:16 AM on May 4:
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I concur with Farmer Tom--I thought this was an announcement.
17. Bethany said the following at 2:45 PM on May 4:
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JuliestD (#2),
You said, "I don't see anyone out there making much of a world for people to live in or thinking about what God wants us to do. Is the answer more people?"
I would say, no, the answer is not more people. The answer is Jesus.
But that doesn't mean kids are better off not being born. Even though the world is full of sin and suffering, life is worth living because Christ lives. His lovingkindness is better than life.
18. DannieA said the following at 3:00 PM on May 4:
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I have mixed feelings about some comments on this blog...I believe children are a blessing and I think in the end, family is what matters and children (that grow up to be adults) are a joy. HOwever, unfortunately not everyone should be popping out babies....if that were true, then my daughter would be able to be with her biological mother...unfortunately she was found not able to parent by the legal system...and while I love, love, love, my daughter to pieces, adoption is not always about joy and happiness feelings.
That being said Keb: I agree with Renee41. I too adopted as a single parent and I am wholeheartedly in favor of a home with a mom and dad present. However, we don't live in a perfect world and children need stability and after prayer and a good support system of family/friends, it has been very rewarding....hard, worrisome, joyful, heartbreaking and better than anything I've ever imagined. IMHO I can't imagine leaving children to develop attachment issues, RAD, age out of foster care without a family due to the fact that one didn't have the "perfect set-up home life".
Suzanne, I think it will be fun to hear an announcement. One of these days. lol
19. Rachelle said the following at 6:47 PM on May 4:
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I guees an alternate way of looking at it would be this: everyone should want to be the kind of people who make good parents.
Not in the sense of being a "baby person", but in the sense of affirming the goodness of the life of each person and loving them not as objects to make them happy, but as souls worthy of all care in their own right.
On the flipside, if we were all the kind of people who would make good parents (who delight in other people for their own sake) then we would all want to have children. In having children (by birth, adoption, or even mentoring) God invites us to become a co-creator with Him, to help shape something with our love and declare "it is good" just as He did.
In the end, life is always to be affirmed as a gift from Him, a life given to us so that we might delight in Him and his creation -- and it sounds as if this movie reflects on that delight.
20. Joy said the following at 7:01 PM on May 4:
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Cute and adorable tempt way too many young girls as it is without this film. They want something to love, they want the supposedly cool 'baby bump', they think babies are adorable. But they aren't married and aren't even ready to be married :( We need to be trying to discourage them not encourage them
21. Emily said the following at 9:57 PM on May 4:
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Oh my goodness! SO CUTE! Probably not good for my heart to watch the trailer and all of the clips... Seriously, I think the topic of babies comes up between my friends and myself at least once a day. And we range in age from 19-21.... So not ready for a baby yet! Can't wait until I am though :)
22. Callie said the following at 1:32 AM on May 5:
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JuliestD #2
Maybe you should get Steve and Candice's book Start Your Family. It might help you work through some of the issues you're struggling with. They address pretty much everything you said from a biblical world view, and its full of their own testimonies as well. I think it will really minister to your heart.
And for your statement:
Don't forget that even of people are having children with out a "plan," God still has a plan for each and every little life conceived! And that's more important! :)
23. MrsLarijani said the following at 11:34 AM on May 5:
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Comment #2 said:
I understand the concern. In a way, I often have the same concern myself: do I want a kid because I think chubby infants are adorable?
Kids are a huge responsibility, so two thumbs up to you for realizing that!
I would argue that if you are able, you should have kids. If infertility is an issue, save up to adopt. I'm saying it like it's easy and I know it's not.
Since most agencies want you to be married for at least 2 or 3 years, it will be a little while before my husband & I can start working towards that option. The application process alone is enough to drive a crazy person nuts.
I think the fact that adoption isn't as easy as most would desire, should speak to the fact that raising a child is more arduous than taking care of a dog.
I think that's the beauty of the Gospel - we don't do that great on our own. Yes, adding more people to the mix is going to complicate matters a bit.
Many moms I know live by the phrase "managed chaos". There's a lot that goes that they just can't control. They are - as you pointed out - raising people not larger than life puppies.
I think you can be encouraged that having kids will test you in ways neither you nor I can imagine.
Whenever we have kids, I'll have to sacrifice that which I love most: sleep.
But . . .
When they hold their sippy cup all by themselves
When they take their first steps
When they recognize their first color
When they are able to understand that 2+2=4
When they ride their bike without training wheels
When they write their first research paper
When they start their first competitive activity
When they pick out their first car
Whenever any of those milestones occur my husband & I can look at each other and see God's faithfulness through it all.
That's what I think is so great about raising children is seeing how God continues to be faithful.
24. Eliza said the following at 12:48 PM on May 5:
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Regarding adoption: PLEASE do NOT think about adoption just because you want a child!!! Adoption is a process that does not end when you sign the papers and take someone else's baby home. The pain that child feels from being unwillingly taken from his or her mother will take years and years to sort through. Adoption is not a happy alternative, but a sad reality for a mother who will never know her child and a child who will not know their heritage. Babies are not blank slates who will be happy just with some love and care.
As an adoptee I've talked to many, many people about this--it is extremely complicated and not for the faint of heart.
If you really feel that God is calling you to adopt, please choose a child with disabilities or an older toddler or child. These are the kids that do many people do not want because they are "damaged". Well, the fact is that the infants are damaged too, it just takes longer for them to work through it. I suggest reading "The Primal Wound" for a quick look into adoption issues.
25. DannieA said the following at 11:58 PM on May 5:
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Eliza:
I was just coming back here to add: adoption is not a cure for infertility and one should really know if they want to commit to the responsibilities that adoption in general comes with, including being aware of the grieving process that many adoptees go through. I know/am friends with 4 different adoptees and their experiences and their philosophies towards their particular adoption stories are vastly different.
Adoption is a complex thing, nothing to be scared of but nothing to take lightly either.
26. Mark W said the following at 8:21 AM on May 6:
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Slightly off-topic, but just wanted to point out that the music in the trailer for Babies is "The Perpetual Self, or 'What Would Saul Alinsky Do?'" from The Avalanche by Christian indie folk artist Sufjan Stevens. He's excellent. I recommend checking him out.
27. Laura J said the following at 1:12 PM on May 6:
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#6. He probably also used babies from around the world to get more international appeal. Honestly, I doubt my friends and I would go and see a film looking at the first year of life of four American babies (and I can't really give a justifiable reasons why lol), yet I would adore and jump at the chance to see four babies from all over the world. I also think you'd find vaster differences in using four such different nationalities :).
28. EKB said the following at 10:02 PM on May 6:
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Not to get too political, but I really hope that the people who see this documentary will be moved by the value and preciousness of life. In a culture where abortion is rampant and overpopulation fears rule the day, this could do a lot of good.