Your Family: "Joy to the World" or the "12 Redneck Days of Christmas"? by Heather Koerner on 12/21/2009 at 4:02 PM

I played a game at a recent Christmas party which asked: Which Christmas carol most describes the holidays with your extended family?

A) Joy to the World (all happiness, all the time)
B) Silent Night (the less said to each other, the better)
C) Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer (it's not a holiday get-together without the annual drama)
D) The 12 Redneck Days of Christmas (who are these people and how was I born into this family?)

It reminded me of Matt's recent blog, where he asked the question: At Christmas, how do you represent Christ and His truth without encouraging conflict with nonbelievers in your family?

It's a good question -- and one that Russell Moore tackles very well. In "A Word About Family Tensions and the Holidays," Moore lists five things a follower of Christ ought to remember in, shall we say, trying yuletide circumstances:

• Peace.

  "Yes, Jesus tells us that His gospel brings a sword of division, and that sometimes this splits up families (Matt. 10:34-37). But there’s a difference between gospel division and carnal division (see 1 Cor. 1, e.g.). The Spirit brings peace (Gal. 5:22), and the sons of God are peacemakers (Matt. 5:9). Since that’s so, we ought to “strive for peace with everyone.” (Heb. 12:14)

  Often, the divisiveness that happens at extended family dinner tables is not because an unbelieving family member decides to persecute a Christian. It’s instead because a Christian decides to go ahead and sort the wheat from the weeds right now, rather than waiting for Judgment Day (Matt. 13:29-30)..."

• Honor.

  "The Scripture tells us to fear God, to obey the king, and to honor (notice this) everyone (1 Pet. 2:17). If your parents are high-priests in the Church of Satan, they are still your parents. If cousin Betty V. does Jello shots in her car, just to take the edge off the cocaine, well, she still bears the imprint of the God you adore..."

• Humility.

  "...Often Christians veer toward Satanism at holiday time because we, deep down, pride ourselves on knowing the truth of the gospel. The rage you feel when Uncle Happy says why “many roads lead to God” might be more about the fact that you want to be right than that you want him to be resurrected..."

• Maturity.

  "Some of the tensions Christians face at holiday time have nothing to do with outside oppression as much as internal immaturity on the part of the Christians themselves.

  I’ve had young men who tell me they feel treated like children when they go home to see their extended families...

  Sometimes that’s because the extended family is particularly obstinate. But sometimes the extended family treats the young man like a child because that’s how he acts the rest of the year.

  [What about us, gals? Do we wax poetic on the oh-too-commercialization of Christmas while our family exchanges knowing glances about our credit card balance?]

• Perspective.

  "At the Judgment Seat of the Lord Christ, you’ll be responsible for living out the gospel in every arena to which the Spirit has led you… including Aunt Flossie’s dining room table."

Read the whole thing. It's way better than the quotes I pulled.

And no matter which Christmas carol describes your family, Moore has given me, at least, some solid counsel for how to represent Christ.

Merry Christmas!

HT: Between Two Worlds

Your Family: "Joy to the World" or the "12 Redneck Days of Christmas"? by Heather Koerner on 12/21/2009 at 4:02 PM

I played a game at a recent Christmas party which asked: Which Christmas carol most describes the holidays with your extended family?

A) Joy to the World (all happiness, all the time)
B) Silent Night (the less said to each other, the better)
C) Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer (it's not a holiday get-together without the annual drama)
D) The 12 Redneck Days of Christmas (who are these people and how was I born into this family?)

It reminded me of Matt's recent blog, where he asked the question: At Christmas, how do you represent Christ and His truth without encouraging conflict with nonbelievers in your family?

It's a good question -- and one that Russell Moore tackles very well. In "A Word About Family Tensions and the Holidays," Moore lists five things a follower of Christ ought to remember in, shall we say, trying yuletide circumstances:

• Peace.

  "Yes, Jesus tells us that His gospel brings a sword of division, and that sometimes this splits up families (Matt. 10:34-37). But there’s a difference between gospel division and carnal division (see 1 Cor. 1, e.g.). The Spirit brings peace (Gal. 5:22), and the sons of God are peacemakers (Matt. 5:9). Since that’s so, we ought to “strive for peace with everyone.” (Heb. 12:14)

  Often, the divisiveness that happens at extended family dinner tables is not because an unbelieving family member decides to persecute a Christian. It’s instead because a Christian decides to go ahead and sort the wheat from the weeds right now, rather than waiting for Judgment Day (Matt. 13:29-30)..."

• Honor.

  "The Scripture tells us to fear God, to obey the king, and to honor (notice this) everyone (1 Pet. 2:17). If your parents are high-priests in the Church of Satan, they are still your parents. If cousin Betty V. does Jello shots in her car, just to take the edge off the cocaine, well, she still bears the imprint of the God you adore..."

• Humility.

  "...Often Christians veer toward Satanism at holiday time because we, deep down, pride ourselves on knowing the truth of the gospel. The rage you feel when Uncle Happy says why “many roads lead to God” might be more about the fact that you want to be right than that you want him to be resurrected..."

• Maturity.

  "Some of the tensions Christians face at holiday time have nothing to do with outside oppression as much as internal immaturity on the part of the Christians themselves.

  I’ve had young men who tell me they feel treated like children when they go home to see their extended families...

  Sometimes that’s because the extended family is particularly obstinate. But sometimes the extended family treats the young man like a child because that’s how he acts the rest of the year.

  [What about us, gals? Do we wax poetic on the oh-too-commercialization of Christmas while our family exchanges knowing glances about our credit card balance?]

• Perspective.

  "At the Judgment Seat of the Lord Christ, you’ll be responsible for living out the gospel in every arena to which the Spirit has led you… including Aunt Flossie’s dining room table."

Read the whole thing. It's way better than the quotes I pulled.

And no matter which Christmas carol describes your family, Moore has given me, at least, some solid counsel for how to represent Christ.

Merry Christmas!

HT: Between Two Worlds

Comments

[1. Sara said the following at 5:00 PM on Dec 21:]

1

Our family is just now adjusting to having "in-laws" in the family... quite an adjustment! However, my family's holidays together are either A) Joy to the World or C)Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer (it's not a holiday get-together without the annual drama)
depending on how long the holiday is. If we are just visiting for a week or less it is definitely A, but once we have reached that two week mark... well there is always some drama.

Sometimes though, that drama creates interesting memories lol!

[2. MrsLarijani said the following at 5:23 PM on Dec 21:]

2

My family is definitely "Grandma Got Runover By A Reindeer".

It will be interesting to see how dynamics play out now that I am married. This year, my husband & I are staying home. We had a long-distance relationship and we are SO done with traveling for the year.

We will probably make the rounds to see different family throughout the year, but won't get together with my family for Christmas until 2011.

My husband & I vowed to love each other so that Christ may be reflected in our marriage. It will be interesting to see how the specifics play out in the years to come. Especially when we interact with my family and I refuse to gender-bash.

[3. Emily said the following at 7:03 PM on Dec 21:]

3

It's often a mysterious combo between B,C, and D. My mom and a large portion of my family are moderate Catholics. My sister is a liberal Catholic. I'm a conservative evangelical. A few family members don't practice anything at all and one is an atheist. And most of the family gets really drunk and that's when the filters come down and horrible things start flying.

Perhaps its sad but a lot of the times I just pray for family get-togethers to end as soon as possible.

I'm doing the best I can but sometimes... man I feel a whole lot more like the devil and very little like Christ inside.

[4. Tamara (from Canada) said the following at 3:32 PM on Dec 22:]

4

My family would most definitely be D) The 12 Redneck Days of Christmas (who are these people and how was I born into this family?) . . . and I love it. We may be a bit of a strange group and I wonder sometimes, but I know we love one another and there's always tons of laughter at family gatherings.

[5. Vanessa said the following at 6:35 PM on Dec 22:]

5

Before my grandmother passed away in 2005...our extended family get togethers were most DEFINITELY "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" and our immediate family came late, left early, and generally kept to ourselves.

Now, several years later, most things have calmed down and we actually enjoy the holidays with minimal drama, and it's a mix of "Joy to the World" and "Redneck Christmas."

I also love my extended family on Facebook...and live 1500 miles away from most of them (and at least 500 miles away from all of them) the rest of the year.

[6. BDB said the following at 6:45 PM on Dec 22:]

6

Wait - #2's name changed! Congrats!

[7. Kimberly said the following at 9:25 PM on Dec 22:]

7

There's always drama at our house...I'm thanking God we all had the flu this past week, instead of this coming week :-)...usually we have some kind of excitement, some good, some bad...and the latter option is also in there too (who are these people and how did I get related to them?). Of course, I'm adopted, sometimes the fact that I'm not of that gene pool is really obvious around the holidays.

Thankfully, God's helped me to learn to relax about it and just laugh off the craziness.

[8. BI said the following at 9:36 AM on Dec 23:]

8

This Christmas is only me with my mom and dad again. And Jesus, of course, our most honorable guest. Those relatives who want to come are either too poor or too old or both. My rich close relatives live in the US and they do not want to see us because they are atheists and they do not care about us. My other relatives are engaged in some kind of illegal activity as most of them have never worked in their entire lives so we do not want to have anything to do with them. And they are atheists as well. Did I mention that I used to be the only Christian in my family? Well, we do not have many friends either, as my parents got burned and cheated pretty bad in the past; hence, they have never formed any true long-lasting friendships with other families. Don’t get me wrong they do have some friends but we always have something in the back of our minds – after all, they are more or less practical atheists and can’t be fully trusted. Of course our joy comes from the Lord, or at least my joy comes from the Lord. Whoever wants to join us is always welcome although we don’t have much to offer.

[9. Loris said the following at 9:10 AM on Dec 28:]

9

Let's see, I definitely had issues with honor and maturity. I hosted my parents for my first Christmas in my new house. It was extremely difficult for my husband and I as my father is disabled from a stroke. He is crippled, brain-damaged, and only semi-continent. My mother has turned into a fussy old lady from taking care of him and she's not that old age-wise. It's frustrating to see her deteriorate from the stress. It was frustrating to go shopping with her, only to return after 40 minutes after a litany of "I'm tired, I'm hot, I forgot my water bottle." It was frustrating to get a phone call from my husband, who was entertaining my dad, saying that my father was hiding in the bedroom away from the "vicious" dog who was snoring on the rug.

Needless to say, my parents are very high maintenance, and because of their needs for special food, naps and constant helping to the bathroom, it really reminded me of caring for small children. Yet, small children grow up, and my parents will only deteriorate from now on. It was hard to be respectful when I was so angry at what they've become, and very hard to act like a mature adult. Yes, the circumstances were trying, but my response was entirely my own, and I think I failed. I did not enjoy the visit at all. I didn't calm down to really worship either at Christmas Eve or on Sunday morning. All I could think about is that I would have killed for a little privacy so I could hug and talk to my husband without someone commenting on it.

[1. Sara said the following at 5:00 PM on Dec 21:]

1

Our family is just now adjusting to having "in-laws" in the family... quite an adjustment! However, my family's holidays together are either A) Joy to the World or C)Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer (it's not a holiday get-together without the annual drama)
depending on how long the holiday is. If we are just visiting for a week or less it is definitely A, but once we have reached that two week mark... well there is always some drama.

Sometimes though, that drama creates interesting memories lol!

[2. MrsLarijani said the following at 5:23 PM on Dec 21:]

2

My family is definitely "Grandma Got Runover By A Reindeer".

It will be interesting to see how dynamics play out now that I am married. This year, my husband & I are staying home. We had a long-distance relationship and we are SO done with traveling for the year.

We will probably make the rounds to see different family throughout the year, but won't get together with my family for Christmas until 2011.

My husband & I vowed to love each other so that Christ may be reflected in our marriage. It will be interesting to see how the specifics play out in the years to come. Especially when we interact with my family and I refuse to gender-bash.

[3. Emily said the following at 7:03 PM on Dec 21:]

3

It's often a mysterious combo between B,C, and D. My mom and a large portion of my family are moderate Catholics. My sister is a liberal Catholic. I'm a conservative evangelical. A few family members don't practice anything at all and one is an atheist. And most of the family gets really drunk and that's when the filters come down and horrible things start flying.

Perhaps its sad but a lot of the times I just pray for family get-togethers to end as soon as possible.

I'm doing the best I can but sometimes... man I feel a whole lot more like the devil and very little like Christ inside.

[4. Tamara (from Canada) said the following at 3:32 PM on Dec 22:]

4

My family would most definitely be D) The 12 Redneck Days of Christmas (who are these people and how was I born into this family?) . . . and I love it. We may be a bit of a strange group and I wonder sometimes, but I know we love one another and there's always tons of laughter at family gatherings.

[5. Vanessa said the following at 6:35 PM on Dec 22:]

5

Before my grandmother passed away in 2005...our extended family get togethers were most DEFINITELY "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" and our immediate family came late, left early, and generally kept to ourselves.

Now, several years later, most things have calmed down and we actually enjoy the holidays with minimal drama, and it's a mix of "Joy to the World" and "Redneck Christmas."

I also love my extended family on Facebook...and live 1500 miles away from most of them (and at least 500 miles away from all of them) the rest of the year.

[6. BDB said the following at 6:45 PM on Dec 22:]

6

Wait - #2's name changed! Congrats!

[7. Kimberly said the following at 9:25 PM on Dec 22:]

7

There's always drama at our house...I'm thanking God we all had the flu this past week, instead of this coming week :-)...usually we have some kind of excitement, some good, some bad...and the latter option is also in there too (who are these people and how did I get related to them?). Of course, I'm adopted, sometimes the fact that I'm not of that gene pool is really obvious around the holidays.

Thankfully, God's helped me to learn to relax about it and just laugh off the craziness.

[8. BI said the following at 9:36 AM on Dec 23:]

8

This Christmas is only me with my mom and dad again. And Jesus, of course, our most honorable guest. Those relatives who want to come are either too poor or too old or both. My rich close relatives live in the US and they do not want to see us because they are atheists and they do not care about us. My other relatives are engaged in some kind of illegal activity as most of them have never worked in their entire lives so we do not want to have anything to do with them. And they are atheists as well. Did I mention that I used to be the only Christian in my family? Well, we do not have many friends either, as my parents got burned and cheated pretty bad in the past; hence, they have never formed any true long-lasting friendships with other families. Don’t get me wrong they do have some friends but we always have something in the back of our minds – after all, they are more or less practical atheists and can’t be fully trusted. Of course our joy comes from the Lord, or at least my joy comes from the Lord. Whoever wants to join us is always welcome although we don’t have much to offer.

[9. Loris said the following at 9:10 AM on Dec 28:]

9

Let's see, I definitely had issues with honor and maturity. I hosted my parents for my first Christmas in my new house. It was extremely difficult for my husband and I as my father is disabled from a stroke. He is crippled, brain-damaged, and only semi-continent. My mother has turned into a fussy old lady from taking care of him and she's not that old age-wise. It's frustrating to see her deteriorate from the stress. It was frustrating to go shopping with her, only to return after 40 minutes after a litany of "I'm tired, I'm hot, I forgot my water bottle." It was frustrating to get a phone call from my husband, who was entertaining my dad, saying that my father was hiding in the bedroom away from the "vicious" dog who was snoring on the rug.

Needless to say, my parents are very high maintenance, and because of their needs for special food, naps and constant helping to the bathroom, it really reminded me of caring for small children. Yet, small children grow up, and my parents will only deteriorate from now on. It was hard to be respectful when I was so angry at what they've become, and very hard to act like a mature adult. Yes, the circumstances were trying, but my response was entirely my own, and I think I failed. I did not enjoy the visit at all. I didn't calm down to really worship either at Christmas Eve or on Sunday morning. All I could think about is that I would have killed for a little privacy so I could hug and talk to my husband without someone commenting on it.