Future Marriage University: Episode 99

If you pay attention to the episode number, you've noticed that we're a week away from our 100th episode. And we need your help to make it a memorable one.

Next Tuesday (December 15th) between 10:00 am and Noon Mountain Time, we want to call you, our listeners, and make an entire show out of your comments, questions, favorites, etc. So e-mail us at editor@boundless.org and leave your name, phone number, and a brief description of what you want to say and we'll give you a call. It'd be nice if you could attach a photo so we can place the name and voice with a face but it's not necessary.

Remember, you'll have to be available during the hours of 10-12 noon next Tuesday, Mountain Time. Fun, huh? We think so. Now on to this week's show ...

Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holiday -- 0:00
Here's your chance to play Santa Claus, making a list of who's naughty and who's nice. But instead of deciding which kids get presents based on a works righteousness, you can choose where to buy your Christmas presents based on which stores are willing to wish you a Merry Christmas and have the best Christmas signage.

I'll be honest with you, I'm annoyed by the whole thing. Annoyed at stores like The Gap, Banana Republic, and Best Buy for coaching their workers to say Happy Holiday instead of Merry Christmas. I'm also annoyed that Christians make a big deal out of it, particularly given our penchant for commercializing one of the holiest days of the year.

That said, I'm very intrigued by Focus on the Family Action's Web site, StandforChristmas.com. I really like seeing which stores are Christmas-friendly and which are Scrooges. If I could, I would buy all my presents at Bass Pro Shops because of their strong Merry Christmas favorability rating. But I live in landlocked Colorado where apparently there are no fish.

Anyhoo, Lisa and I do have fun discussing it all for this week's Roundtable.

Future Marriage University -- 11:59
Michael and Julie Johnson love marriage. They love it so much they want singles to get married and love it too. But they say in order to do that, singles need to stop focusing on finding "the one," falling in love, and scrapbooking the wedding and start focusing on what marriage is and the meanings of forgiveness and commitment. That's why they created FutureMarriageUniversity.org, a ministry devoted to preparing smart singles for marriage.

Finding Someone in Your Spiritual Weightclass -- 45:43
I get the feeling a lot of singles will relate to this week's Inbox question. It's about dating someone in a different spiritual weightclass. For example, she's been a Christian since childhood and he's a recent convert. Actually, this was the exact situation when I met my wife. But she'll tell you the reason she stuck with me. What I lacked in spiritual seasoning, I made up for in spiritual humility. Meaning, I was teachable. And thankfully, I had many Godly men at Capitol Hill Baptist Church willing to speak truth (and good doctrine) in my life. But I digress. It's Candice and Lisa who tackle this issue for our listeners. And they do it very well.

Comments

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1. Lia said the following at 3:14 PM on Dec 10:

I'll be honest with you, I'm annoyed by the whole thing. Annoyed at stores like The Gap, Banana Republic, and Best Buy for coaching their workers to say Happy Holiday instead of Merry Christmas.

Why? There are several winter holidays, not just one, and it would be rude, I think, to acknowledge one and not the rest.

2. EKB said the following at 6:18 PM on Dec 10:

Though I am a strong supporter of Christmas, I also say "Happy Holidays." It seems logical to use that since Christmas is right around the New Year.

3. Amelia said the following at 7:05 PM on Dec 10:

I'd love to leave a voice comment, but think I'll pass this time as Tuesday 10-12 Mountain Time = Wednesday 3-5am AEST. I have to start work at 7am, and I value my sleep. I'm not sure how willing you'd be to make an international call, anyway. But I look forward to listening to the show!

4. Leah said the following at 7:27 PM on Dec 10:

I read a blog the other day by a (Christian) guy ranting that FOTF should keep their focus on the family and out of issues like this, and that their "Stand for Christmas" campaign is lame. I have to agree with him. I don't mind individuals taking issue with "Happy HOlidays" VS "Merry Christmas" - in fact it annoys me too, although here in Australia very few people use the "American" phrase "Happy Holidays" - but it doesn't need to be turned into a social movement. Yes they're hijacking and secularising a Christian festival, but you can't expect non-Christians to act like Christians. And really, it's only the refusal to say "Merry Christmas" that bothers me - who cares what Christmas music or decorations they use. As if you'd expect a non-Christian store to feel obliged to put up a nativity scene.

And the rating of "offensive" is just stupid and OTT. People are far too over-sensitive these days. Yes it sounds like the Gap ad was offensive, but most of the other supposedly 'offensive' things listed on the site are just silly. A store is considered offensive just coz they don't use any sort of Christmas greeting? Get over it.

And stores are considered 'Christmas-negligent' because they allow, rather than encourage, the greeting "Merry Christmas". Shouldn't they be encouraged for allowing it when other places don't?

It looks like Americans need to lighten up. In Australia the most that stores recognise Christmas is by perhaps putting up some tinsel and Christmas trees, playing Christmas songs and perhaps "Merry Christmas" banners throughout the shopping centre if you're lucky. They freely advertise "Christmas sales" on their catalogues but cashiers just say "Have a good day" like any other time of year, no store puts up nativity scenes, etc etc. They don't try to erase Christmas but they don't go out of their way to celebrate the 'real' reason of it either, and I'm fine with that. They're not Christian stores and I don't expect them to pretend to be.

Lia - let's be realistic here, a vast majority of the population is celebrating Christmas, whether they're Christians or not.

5. anna said the following at 10:51 PM on Dec 10:

I agree with Lia: there are both shoppers and employees that don't celebrate Christmas.

I think it's actually worse for the stores to insist on having their employees wish a greeting that they don't believe. It's like asking people to fake like they're Christians (or practicing Christians) just to drive sales.

Unless consumers are going to insist that the only stores they'll shop are those that only hire Christians that actually celebrate the holiday (so no Jehovah's witnesses or 7th Day Adventists) then they're asking for something that to me, sounds dubious.

6. Jo said the following at 11:39 PM on Dec 10:

I absolutely and completely second everything Leah said. Why make such a big deal over something that's simply mildly annoying? We have waaaaay bigger fish to fry...

7. Kes said the following at 3:48 AM on Dec 11:

As a Messianic believer who doesn't celebrate Christmas, but DOES celebrate Hanukkah, let's just say I appreciate it when people say, "Happy Holidays!" to me rather than "Merry Christmas." I don't feel quite as left out. And when people ask what I'm doing for the 'holidays' it isn't quite so awkward to say, "I'm celebrating Hanukkah this weekend!" in comparision to having to say something about, "Well, I celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas..." when someone asks you what you're doing for Christmas.

8. Shiko said the following at 4:30 AM on Dec 11:

"I'm also annoyed that Christians make a big deal out of it, particularly given our penchant for commercializing one of the holiest days of the year."

Holiest holiday of the year??? Well, if my history informs me correctly the Christmas holiday was imported from a pagan holiday Saturnalia which was characterized by among other things: celebration by drinking, sexual indulgence and singing naked in the streets. Never mind that we now attach a different meaning to it.

I do not however believe in the emphasis we place on Christmas. Christ asked us to remember His death not his birth- and for that matter to remember His death every time we meet not just during Easter. Hence our focus and emphasis in celebrating these holidays is potentially misleading and it is not a wonder that holidays that originated from worldly/pagan practices are being corrupted again (commercialization) just in a 21st century kind of way.

I wonder, if Christ was on earth today, would He would approve of the whole hullabaloo even the best intended Christians make about Christmas?(apparent Birthday?) I don't know for sure but I think not.

Maybe what we need to do is forget about this once-a-year holiday and focus more on the breaking of bread- and its significance- every time we gather. To me that act of sharing in the Lords supper is in fact the "Holiest holiday of the year"

Any thoughts??

9. Tiffany said the following at 5:42 AM on Dec 11:

Leah - I read that same blog post and passed it on via Facebook. Christians really want to get all hot and bothered about whether store employees/ads say "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays" but we're not going to stop and think about the Christlikeness of massive overconsumption and consumerism??? Truthfully, I lost a TON of respect for FOTF with this new ratings thing.

10. Lia said the following at 7:56 AM on Dec 11:

No, the vast majority of the population is celebrating *Giftmas* which is completely different!

11. rbjaneite said the following at 8:32 AM on Dec 11:

Wow, a genuine campus to get an MRs. degree!

12. New Bride said the following at 9:35 AM on Dec 11:

Happy Holiday's I don't mind...if you realize the origin of the word its more like saying Happy Holy days! Very applicable! :)

Merry Christmas and Happy Holy days everyone! :)

13. Loris said the following at 9:51 AM on Dec 11:

Kes #7, I don't think it's awkward at all to mention that one will be celebrating Hanukah. A coworker I wasn't sure was Jewish (though I might have assumed from the last name) came up and asked me about the Mannheim Steamroller concert program I have posted in my cube. I started a rapturous description of my favorite Christmas music bands, and he shrugged and said he didn't think about that sort of music much b/c he'll be celebrating Hanukkah. I wasn't offended or embarrassed and neither was he.

14. Tami said the following at 10:32 AM on Dec 11:

LOL @ Comment 11 :)

15. RLynn said the following at 11:23 AM on Dec 11:

I could take or leave the whole Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays discussion (yes, I think the GAP ads are weird and that Christmas is commercialized/secularized). I don't expect the world to feel the same way about Jesus that I do. I work for a large university where some units of the school are at least 50% Jewish. The metro area where the school is located is probably 15-20% Jewish--I usually say "Happy Holidays" OR I say, "Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa". I did LOVE your Future Marriage University and being equally yoked/spiritual maturity mismatch discussion--bravo--good stuff!

16. Kes said the following at 11:47 AM on Dec 11:

#13 - I personally don't find it awkward explaining that I celebrate Hanukkah, but found that some of the people who wish me Merry Christmas get embarassed and back-pedal really fast. I'm not usually offended, so I'm not sure why they get embarassed and nervous about wishing me Merry Christmas by mistake!

Coming from the viewpoint of someone who doesn't celebrate Christmas, I'm far more comfortable wishing people "Happy Holidays" since I know that not everyone celebrates Hanukkah or Christmas or Kwanza.

17. Melissa said the following at 12:37 PM on Dec 11:

Without trying to be inflammatory....what *I* find mildly annoying are all the impassioned pleas that fly around this time of year, with Christians militantly proclaiming that Christ should be put back into Christmas. How can you put him back into Christmas when he was never meant to be there in the first place?

Christmas originated in pagan roots...and so the holiday in its origin had nothing whatsoever to do with the Biblical Yeshua of Nazareth. If the roots be unholy, so are the branches (pardon the pun)! Aren't the fruits of this season pretty apparent?

And yet, I don't discount that a lot of traditional Christmas carols (God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman, for example) are wonderful depictions of the Gospel. It's just too bad they don't tell the truth about when Yeshua really WAS born....during the feast of Sukkot ;)

18. Motte Brown said the following at 2:05 PM on Dec 11:

Shiko and Melissa:

You have it backwards. From Touchstone Magazine:

Many Christians think that Christians celebrate Christ’s birth on December 25th because the church fathers appropriated the date of a pagan festival. Almost no one minds, except for a few groups on the fringes of American Evangelicalism, who seem to think that this makes Christmas itself a pagan festival. But it is perhaps interesting to know that the choice of December 25th is the result of attempts among the earliest Christians to figure out the date of Jesus’ birth based on calendrical calculations that had nothing to do with pagan festivals.
Rather, the pagan festival of the “Birth of the Unconquered Son” instituted by the Roman Emperor Aurelian on 25 December 274, was almost certainly an attempt to create a pagan alternative to a date that was already of some significance to Roman Christians. Thus the “pagan origins of Christmas” is a myth without historical substance.

19. DannieA said the following at 12:45 AM on Dec 12:

I stand for Christmas...I'm not ashamed of celebrating it and love to converse with people that celebrate Hanukkah or don't have a real passion for Christmas....after all, I don't believe in "preaching", but I do believe in being honest and open about my convictions.

That being said....I really don't stop to think about what stores I buy from as long as I'm doing it to fit my budget.

I just spent my life savings at Babies R us (sarcasm...I have quite a bit of money put away actually) as most people have 9 months to buy for a baby and I have a weekend (I'm going to be a mommy to a 5 month old on Tuesday....I thought I would be matched with a preschooler...been approved to adopt for 6 months and have had 2 failed matches of olderish children) so obviously I'm not going to go check and see if it's a Christmas friendly store or not when I have to have certain things right away.

Celebrate Christmas....say Merry Christmas, however, not sure how the whole %age detailed opinion charts are helping...people seem to be in a very Merry Christmas mood around me...maybe it's different in other areas.

20. Shiko said the following at 9:37 AM on Dec 12:

Thanks for that Mote. Interesting to note. However does that make Christmas any 'Holier'? Is the focus and emphasis we place on it of any real Biblical spiritual significance?? I still think it is but a man made religious holiday.Why din't Christ make anything of His birth but emphasize that we must remember His death every time we meet?? I'm not saying that we shouldn't celebrate Christmas, I'm just saying we make too big a deal of it!

21. SarahJane said the following at 3:27 PM on Dec 12:

To add my two cents to this discussion...
At the local shopping centre here in France, they are celebrating the Fetes de Fin d'Annee (End of the Year Holidays). How is that for all-inclusive?
I too really appreciated the interview on Future Marriage University and the round table on dating someone in a different spiritual "weight class".

22. Tina said the following at 6:43 PM on Dec 12:

I really liked the Johnson interview.

23. Amir Larijani said the following at 12:19 PM on Dec 13:

That header picture on FMU was hilarious. I had coffee coming out of my nose.

They ought to change the picture on the header. It does appear to treat singles like adolescents, rather than foster adulthood.

24. BDB said the following at 10:36 PM on Dec 14:

The FMU folks sound like they've put together an excellent resource. I don't think I've agreed with any of your podcast guests so much. What a good ministry to highlight.

As for "praying for patience," I'm convinced that is one prayer God ALWAYS answers!

25. Trisha said the following at 12:45 PM on Dec 15:

They don't realize that holiday is suppose to mean holy day that is why Halloween is not a holiday because there is nothing Holy about it.

26. IMO said the following at 2:31 PM on Dec 15:

#20 said:

"I'm not saying that we shouldn't celebrate Christmas, I'm just saying we make too big a deal of it!"

Something to think about: Why did God choose that time and that location for Jesus to come into the world?
What is the significance of Jesus being born? God's promise to name one.

And as something else mentioned on this post, many people make a big deal out of GIFTmas. Not even people make a big deal out of Christmas.

27. Daniel B said the following at 4:01 PM on Dec 17:

"There are several winter holidays, not just one, and it would be rude, I think, to acknowledge one and not the rest."

Only Christmas and New Year's are actual Holidays. Sure, other people do celebrate others, but that's true throughout the year! Nobody gets upset if you say Happy Valentine's Day or Happy Easter during the Chinese New Year...

It's CLEARLY about being anti-Christmas, and not at all about acknowledging that some people celebrate their own other Holiday.

As evidence - have you noticed anyone be upset at Happy New Year? Probably not - it's only Merry Christmas that people don't want said.