The Gift of Kindness
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 11/19/2009 at 9:30 PM
A few years ago, I wrote an article about "non-random acts of kindness." The holiday season, which is nearly upon us (is upon us if you listen to the all-Christmas-music-all-the-time radio station), is a great time for specific acts of kindness.
The pinch I've felt this year and at various other times in my life (e.g., as a college student), is a lack of financial resources for giving. That's why it's great that many acts of kindness carry no price tag. Here are a few ideas:
Free babysitting. This weekend my husband and I are babysitting for our pastor and his wife. We had wanted to do something for them during Clergy Appreciation Month in October but were tight on funds. However, when I mentioned free babysitting, my pastor's face lit up. "We haven't been able to go on a date since September!" he said.
Gift cards. Each year I receive an assortment of gift cards. A grocery card from work. Multiple Starbucks cards (everyone knows about my habit). And various other cards to restaurants, movie theaters and stores. I'm not advocating re-gifting Mom's sole Christmas gift to you, but if an extra gift card comes your way, why not pass it on to someone who needs it more than you do?
Food. The holidays are a great time to make someone a meal or prepare plates of cookies for neighbors or shut-ins. My high school youth group used to spend an evening caroling to all the older people in our church and taking them plates of cookies.
Hospitality. Give the gift of your home. People love a warm, happy place to gather. Host a Thanksgiving or Christmas get-together. Serve Christmas treats, play some games and watch a holiday movie. I have a friend who loves to put on a "romantic dinner" at her house each time one of her friends gets engaged as her gift to the couple.
Nice stuff you don't need. Do you have extra items you're thinking of selling on craigslist? Why not give away quality items instead. When Kevin and I got married, we ended up with an extra king-sized bed. Kevin learned that one of his coworkers was six months pregnant and sharing a double bed with her husband. When we offered her the bed she was thrilled and offered to pick it up the next day!
The holidays are a great time to reach out to people, though opportunities to bless others with kindness exist year round:
Part of being a blessing to others is being alert to opportunities. If an affirming thought comes into your mind, say it. If you wonder if someone is in need, offer to help. If you find yourself thinking of a person, go a step further and act. A little deliberate kindness goes a long way.
And the great news is ... kindness is absolutely free.
1. BDB said the following at 10:06 PM on Nov 19:
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Yes - made use of my guest room for a week on short notice!
2. P&P said the following at 7:27 AM on Nov 20:
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What about house/yard work?
There are plenty of people (senior citizens, single parents, care-givers, etc.) who could use a hand raking leaves, cleaning gutters or light painting.
You could also offer to help clean. After I cleand out the cabinets in my parent's house, my mother commented on this to a friend of hers at the senior center who asked if I'd be willing to help.
She offered me money, but since it was just cleaning out some cabinets and bringing cans of expired food to the curb on trash day, I didn't take anything for it.
3. Kellie said the following at 9:51 AM on Nov 20:
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Not to bah-humbug your ideas, but hospitality is not generally free, at least if it involves feeding people and can be rather costly if you want to do a good job of it.
4. Suzanne Hadley Gosselin said the following at 2:40 PM on Nov 20:
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Kellie,
Invite everyone to bring something or make popcorn. :) There are inexpensive ways to be hospitable. You don't have to go all out.
5. Kathleen said the following at 8:02 PM on Nov 20:
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It's great to give gifts to people we know, but when we do so, we know very well that we are likely to collect a benefit from our gift. For instance, you babysit this weekend for the pastor and his wife; she bakes you a batch of cookies next week in thanks. All well and good, but the premise behind Random Acts of Kindness is very differnt.
The premise of Random Acts of Kindness is that there is little chance that you will directly benefit
from your act -- that's precisely the point. For instance, when you pay the toll of the car behind you, the recipient is a total stranger who is unlikely to be in a position to pay you back. What they do instead is practice the same random kindness to another; they direct their kindness not at a particular target, but randomly out into the world. Kindness moves from being a transaction (you do something nice for me, I do something nice for you) to being a random and pervasive practice.
Of course, any kind of kindness is good. But Suzanne seemed to misunderstand the principle behind RAoK, so I wanted to clarify what it was really about.
6. Donna said the following at 10:12 PM on Nov 20:
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I like ideas like these because I'm living on a small budget and I enjoy giving. I usually bake each Christmas. It's something my sister and I do together. It really is an inexpensive way to have something to give to neighbors.
7. Sara said the following at 8:00 PM on Nov 21:
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For the food one you really emphasized seniors and shut-ins... which is awesome! BUT people often forget college students who are far from home (like moi!), and even though I am married now, there are very few wholesome, home-cooked meals in our mini-apartment due to space and lack of skill. A yummy dinner at someones house is often much more appreciated than a gift card to a fancy restaurant. We can save for the restaurant... the yummy dinner is near impossible!