What's Hair Got to Do With It? by Thomas Jeffries on 09/15/2009 at 10:16 AM

I'm warning you right now -- I'm about to make a sweeping generalization, and I am fully preparing myself for a reasonably hostile response.

Most guys prefer women with longer hair.

There, I said it. Now, I will immediately follow that comment with all the required caveats:

• Not all guys prefer women with longer hair.
• Indeed, some men -- but not most -- prefer women with short hair.
• There is actually scientific evidence to support this statement, in this case a reference to a study from the journal Human Nature.
• Every single day, men fall in love with women who wear their hair short.
• "Longer hair" is a pretty loose term -- it does not require flowing tresses that extend more than halfway down a woman's back. Suffice it to say that if most of a girl's neck is exposed, she probably has what I would consider short hair.

Because I'm still anticipating a somewhat hostile response, here are a few more caveats:

• Hair length on women has absolutely nothing to do with character and/or spirituality. Yes, there are a few Bible verses related to a woman's hair, but I have never seen a credible argument that longer hair is evidence of greater Christian maturity.
• If a guy is attracted to or is already in a relationship with a girl and she decides to cut her hair short, the guy rarely stops liking her based on this act alone. (If he does, he's probably pretty shallow anyway.)
• This preference typically begins to diminish with age. Younger men tend to prefer younger women who have longer hair, yet the closer one gets to retirement, the less hair length tends to matter.
• During our several years of marriage, my wife has worn her hair both longer and shorter. My love for her has never changed, but I will admit that given the choice, I find her hair -- not her -- more attractive when it's not too short.

So, why am I talking about this? Is hair length really that important?

No, it's not; certainly not in the grand scheme of life and faith. But it's my experience that Boundless readers are genuinely interested in how and what the opposite sex thinks. And for all the women (including many Boundless readers) who devote time and attention to exercise, nutrition, clothing and makeup -- and there's certainly nothing wrong with those things as long as they are practiced in moderation -- they rarely consider something as simple as hair length.

But if most guys don't like short hair on women, then why do so many women cut their hair short? I can't say for sure, but I have a few ideas. Some women simply don't want to bother with caring for long hair. Others get bored with their hairstyle after a while and long for a change, any change. Still others see a short haircut they like on some other woman and decide to try it for themselves.

Have you ever noticed the reaction to this? When the newly shorn girl first appears at school or at work, other women tend to gather round and compliment her, usually telling her how cute she looks with her new "do." The men, meanwhile, usually look up only long enough to remark: "Sure, looks nice." Or they simply smile and say nothing. To be brutally honest, some guys barely even notice.

The point is that women with short haircuts are affirmed almost exclusively by ... other women. Ask their husbands or boyfriends, and most will admit -- though rarely to the woman's face -- that they kinda liked it better when her hair wasn't so short.

Let me quote a relationship columnist far more knowledgeable than myself -- one Candice Watters, author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen:

"Yes, my heart and character is a key part of what attracted Steve, but I'd be omitting half the story if I didn't also say that as I grew my severe, short and sassy haircut out to a more feminine length, he began to find me more attractive."

Of course, this concept pertains to men, too. A guy who sports a two-foot-long beard or is covered in tattoos certainly might appeal to some women, but probably not the majority of the female population.

Now before I get hammered by critics who insist that what's on the "inside" matters far more than mere appearances, let me say that I agree. Wholeheartedly. Yet let me quote once more from Candice's column on physical appearance: "The kind of man a Godly woman should want to marry would esteem a woman who strives to be lovely, both inside and out."

But what do Boundless readers think? Am I all wrong? Do male readers actually prefer it when their wives or girlfriends go "short and sassy"? At the same time, are there things guys can do to change their appearance that women generally prefer? (For example, I shaved off my goatee several years ago when I noticed similar facial hair on just about every mechanic and Chili's waiter in town, but maybe that's just me.)

Then again, it is only hair. Just because God has every one of them numbered doesn't mean they can't be short.

What's Hair Got to Do With It? by Thomas Jeffries on 09/15/2009 at 10:16 AM

I'm warning you right now -- I'm about to make a sweeping generalization, and I am fully preparing myself for a reasonably hostile response.

Most guys prefer women with longer hair.

There, I said it. Now, I will immediately follow that comment with all the required caveats:

• Not all guys prefer women with longer hair.
• Indeed, some men -- but not most -- prefer women with short hair.
• There is actually scientific evidence to support this statement, in this case a reference to a study from the journal Human Nature.
• Every single day, men fall in love with women who wear their hair short.
• "Longer hair" is a pretty loose term -- it does not require flowing tresses that extend more than halfway down a woman's back. Suffice it to say that if most of a girl's neck is exposed, she probably has what I would consider short hair.

Because I'm still anticipating a somewhat hostile response, here are a few more caveats:

• Hair length on women has absolutely nothing to do with character and/or spirituality. Yes, there are a few Bible verses related to a woman's hair, but I have never seen a credible argument that longer hair is evidence of greater Christian maturity.
• If a guy is attracted to or is already in a relationship with a girl and she decides to cut her hair short, the guy rarely stops liking her based on this act alone. (If he does, he's probably pretty shallow anyway.)
• This preference typically begins to diminish with age. Younger men tend to prefer younger women who have longer hair, yet the closer one gets to retirement, the less hair length tends to matter.
• During our several years of marriage, my wife has worn her hair both longer and shorter. My love for her has never changed, but I will admit that given the choice, I find her hair -- not her -- more attractive when it's not too short.

So, why am I talking about this? Is hair length really that important?

No, it's not; certainly not in the grand scheme of life and faith. But it's my experience that Boundless readers are genuinely interested in how and what the opposite sex thinks. And for all the women (including many Boundless readers) who devote time and attention to exercise, nutrition, clothing and makeup -- and there's certainly nothing wrong with those things as long as they are practiced in moderation -- they rarely consider something as simple as hair length.

But if most guys don't like short hair on women, then why do so many women cut their hair short? I can't say for sure, but I have a few ideas. Some women simply don't want to bother with caring for long hair. Others get bored with their hairstyle after a while and long for a change, any change. Still others see a short haircut they like on some other woman and decide to try it for themselves.

Have you ever noticed the reaction to this? When the newly shorn girl first appears at school or at work, other women tend to gather round and compliment her, usually telling her how cute she looks with her new "do." The men, meanwhile, usually look up only long enough to remark: "Sure, looks nice." Or they simply smile and say nothing. To be brutally honest, some guys barely even notice.

The point is that women with short haircuts are affirmed almost exclusively by ... other women. Ask their husbands or boyfriends, and most will admit -- though rarely to the woman's face -- that they kinda liked it better when her hair wasn't so short.

Let me quote a relationship columnist far more knowledgeable than myself -- one Candice Watters, author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen:

"Yes, my heart and character is a key part of what attracted Steve, but I'd be omitting half the story if I didn't also say that as I grew my severe, short and sassy haircut out to a more feminine length, he began to find me more attractive."

Of course, this concept pertains to men, too. A guy who sports a two-foot-long beard or is covered in tattoos certainly might appeal to some women, but probably not the majority of the female population.

Now before I get hammered by critics who insist that what's on the "inside" matters far more than mere appearances, let me say that I agree. Wholeheartedly. Yet let me quote once more from Candice's column on physical appearance: "The kind of man a Godly woman should want to marry would esteem a woman who strives to be lovely, both inside and out."

But what do Boundless readers think? Am I all wrong? Do male readers actually prefer it when their wives or girlfriends go "short and sassy"? At the same time, are there things guys can do to change their appearance that women generally prefer? (For example, I shaved off my goatee several years ago when I noticed similar facial hair on just about every mechanic and Chili's waiter in town, but maybe that's just me.)

Then again, it is only hair. Just because God has every one of them numbered doesn't mean they can't be short.

Comments

[1. Louise from Chicago said the following at 10:20 AM on Sep 15:]

1

I prefer men who have hair on their heads and to be clean shaven.

[2. Dan (real name) said the following at 10:22 AM on Sep 15:]

2

I don't expect to be the first post response, and I won't be hostile, but what is wrong with guys liking longer hair in women (assuming that there will be a train of hostile responses to follow)?

BTW, I have met and been very attracted to women with short hair!

[3. Kes said the following at 10:29 AM on Sep 15:]

3

I began growing my hair longer shortly after I started going out with my boyfriend - but for a rather vain reason on my part. ;-) I knew he was going to ask me out to his FD's ball this fall and wanted to be able to do something girly with my hair.

Now I'm incredibly curious as to whether or not he likes it longer. Hm. Growing up, my dad always liked my mom's hair in a short bob, so I've never known what to think!

[4. Rebekah said the following at 10:53 AM on Sep 15:]

4

Guys totally prefer long hair; I don't need a scientific study to tell me that. They also don't really seem to notice make-up; I think women tend to groom for each other.
On the flip side, most women hate facial hair-again, a generalization since I have a few friends who do like it.
Facial hair on a guy, however, like long hair on a women, is a personal preference and not an indicator of spirituality or a deal-breaker as far as a relationship is concerned.

[5. Holly said the following at 10:56 AM on Sep 15:]

5

Ironically, I thought my hubby liked my "short" hair, but apparently we have different definitions of "short".

I consider "short" to be anything above my shoulders (considering I had waist-length hair until I was 14, this is comparably shorter). But you consider "short" as anything exposing most of the neck (I think Demi Moore in Ghost).

The perfect length that my hubby prefers is right below the chin. You should have seen his reaction when I came home sporting a Reese Witherspoon-inspired do from Sweet Home Alabama.

So, I'd say if you're married, sport the hair that you both like (especially him). The rewards will be far greater. ;-)

[6. Rachael said the following at 10:57 AM on Sep 15:]

6

I wonder if this post will make any women cry...

Perhaps, though, some short-haired woman will want to know what men might commonly think and after an online search happen upon this post and perhaps find it helpful, if they want to try a new do. Hair can grow.

The looks issue is kind-of sad to me.

Currently, I look good to my husband even with generally little to no effort.

But what about 10 years from now or if I get pregnant and gain a ton of weight? I will probably be a little uneasy about pregnancy weight gain, if I am blessed to get pregnant. I might worry about weight that might pop up in a place(s) besides the belly area.

In a couple or more decades, I may end up wearing a short or reasonably short length. Maybe I won't wear it well or look that good to my husband as my face and hair change in the future.

Hopefully, though, that by the time I look uglier my character will gain more beauty, and hopefully that will facilitate attraction even if I turn out ugly in the future.

There can be beautiful old women, though.

I want to radiate beauty even if my looks don't in the future.

I should work on radiating inner beauty at present...

**************************

Since the question "At the same time, are there things guys can do to change their appearance that women generally prefer?", though...

And I hope I don't make any men cry...

This tip is for older men, though it might apply to slightly older men as well.

One day my sister, brother-in-law, husband and I all went shopping one day, primarily for my husband. He got some nice-looking clothes that day. I like it when he wears a certain shirt and pair of jeans that he got that day. They might 'youthen' his looks a little.

My husband tends to keep things... including clothes...for years and years. He has many, many clothes. Including many old clothes, I think.

For people who are like that...here's an idea. Maybe go out and buy some clothes, and then, in place of the new clothes you bought, get rid of the equal number of clothes, even if 'they're okay', even if 'they're still wearable'. You don't have to waste those clothes. You can donate them. I think with Goodwill and maybe others you can even track your donation and get a receipt (maybe) for tax purposes.

Anyway, I'm not a fashion guru, but, I'd suggest aiming for modern or semi-modern clothes.

And...if your hair is balding. My husband's is. Just keep the hair that's there short or reasonably short. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

And...it's often okay to untuck your shirts.

There!

But please, please don't cry or feel self-conscious if you don't like these tips or if you don't choose to follow them. It's okay to wear a shirt tucked in and probably often looks good that way, it's okay if you don't keep your hair too short, and it's okay if you wear old clothes.

This is a stereotype, but, I think you'll more often notice pretty gals with guys who are average or less than than really good looking guys with less than the equivalent in women.

My stereotype is that women are more often somewhat generous in what their significant other looks like than the other way around.

Perhaps a lot of what can be attractive to a woman is the man's character and the way he feels about (and shows that feeling toward) and pursuit of her.

[7. Alyssa said the following at 11:01 AM on Sep 15:]

7

I've always heard this fun fact and am smiling at the fact that you are fully aware that you're probably about to receive hostile responses. I'm not laughing at you, just at your fun way of being to the point.

I do have a short, slightly sassy do and love it! But you're right, my girlfriends are the ones that affirmed it. You're also right that I cut it because I was ready for a change!

[8. DannieA said the following at 11:01 AM on Sep 15:]

8

Men may like longer hair, but they should consider that not every woman has the capacity to grow it...

My mom has short hair and it doesn't grow fast and it is thin...

Now I on the other hand can blink and my hair has grown out immensely. During August when I was busy with my ailing Grandmother, I didn't go to the salon and I just came back to work with hair 2 inches longer...yikes, that looks horrible considering I have highlights that need to be redone. I can cut it and it will be long within the year.

So men, beware, sometimes women just are naturally able to grow their hair, and sometimes it's just not as easy...that would be like discriminating because a man went bald...not his fault! :)

Now that being said, do men really like long hair because it's "pretty" or because of some sexual fetish as I've heard about from male friends????

*I'm not trying to be crass*

[9. Chris said the following at 11:02 AM on Sep 15:]

9

Every time I grow a beard for cold weather, I offer to stay clean shaven if my wife will grow her hair longer than shoulder length.

Her distaste in washing/combing long hair and my distaste for shaving have kept things at bay for many years now.

[10. Jorden said the following at 11:07 AM on Sep 15:]

10

"If a guy is attracted to or is already in a relationship with a girl and she decides to cut her hair short, the guy rarely stops liking her based on this act alone. (If he does, he's probably pretty shallow anyway.)"

That just happened to me, lol. My girlfriend just went out one day because she was bored with her hair and whacked over 6 inches off. I have to say I did prefer her with longer hair, but I agree with your statement that I still like her ;).

She looks cute with her hair the way it is, but I wouldn't mind her growing it back out when she is bored with it again. I dunno, I have always found girls with longer hair more attractive. But short hair isn't necessarily a turn off. My first major crush had short hair. It all depends.

I'm curious about the goatee thing which Thomas mentioned. When I was dating my ex, she was dead set against me getting a goatee. I felt like being a little rebellious and grew one out. After that she seemed to like it on me, and I have kept it ever since.(Not because she liked it necessarily, but because I liked it)

[11. Jo said the following at 11:10 AM on Sep 15:]

11

"The point is that women with short haircuts are affirmed almost exclusively by ... other women."

Ah, but that's always true. Women affirm other women's appearances - men do it much less.

When I cut my hair short(ish) a guy I liked very much at the time made a very nice unprovoked comment about it. :) It's longer again now though. I'm one of those who just likes a change every so often.

I wonder if anyone's going to bring up 1 Corinthians 11...

[12. Naomi said the following at 11:14 AM on Sep 15:]

12

I LOVED this blog post. Mostly because it is an echo of things I have been saying for years.

I am a girl of extremes. From age 16-20ish, I had very VERY short hair. Like boy-cut short. I didn't cut it to make a statement, or even think much about it. I just wanted a change (well-said, writer!).

And then, around age 20, I decided to grow my hair out long. And resolved to never cut it short again.

From conversations I've had with guys, including my brothers, the majority of males prefer girls with longer hair. Looking back, I realize that it's a lot easier for me to be feminine, girlie and attractive with longer hair. When my hair was short, I felt the NEED to put on makeup, or wear a skirt, or do something to make sure people knew I was a girl.. actually, that was never a problem for me. I was never called 'sir' or 'mister,' like some women with short hair that I know... but now, I can be fresh-faced, with wet hair and wearing jeans, and still being womanly.

Mostly, I have realized that science or not, male attraction ratio or not, with longer hair, I just feel more feminine. And since God designed me to be a woman, that's a good thing!

[13. DEH said the following at 11:23 AM on Sep 15:]

13

My husband, my dad, and my father-in-law have all expressed that they like long hair on women.

I actually find that longer hair (with a good cut) is easier to style than many shorter hair cuts. But that's just been my experience.

As a woman, I prefer guys with a little facial hair, like a neatly trimmed goatee.

This post put a smile on my face. :)

[14. Reid said the following at 11:25 AM on Sep 15:]

14

Hmm. Will there be a follow-up about the length of men's hair (facial or on top)?

Candice's categorization of longer hair as "more feminine" seems to be the important factor, in my opinion. The mere fact that women are seen to have longer hair leads to it being a "cue" of the female sex. The more of these cues someone displays, the more they fit comfortable cultural expectations/norms of people who are looking around for potential relationships. (Isn't it also true that a guy with finely-manicured nails, for instance, is perceived as less "male" because that's a mostly female practice?)

But yeah, the fact that the interpretation is so culturally-dependent means that it's hard to apply any generalizations.

[15. Susan H. said the following at 11:34 AM on Sep 15:]

15

So tell me this.

I have a face shape (slightly long) that is most flattered when my hair is about chin-length or a little shorter.

Many women--Candice is a good example--have facial features that are more flattered by long hair.

Is this something that men even see? Or do they just see the hair and not the way that it interacts with the face?

[16. Whitney said the following at 11:35 AM on Sep 15:]

16

LOLLLL. i love this article & i heart boundless.org. thank you for writing. i recently joined a forum: longhaircareforum.com just because of my hair... i love it (my hair and the forum, lol). it's mid-back length and has been thick and long my entire life (thank You Lord, i love it). i don't plan on dyeing nor cutting it "for the world" --no pun intended! ;) bless you brother in Christ!

Whitney
http://twitter.com/Child0fGod
http://youtube.com/ithankyouLord

[17. Jane said the following at 11:42 AM on Sep 15:]

17

I think you might be forgetting one tiny thing: what about women with natural black hair?

I have short hair, because I'm biracial and have a fro (a frohawk, currently, sort of). My hair doesn't grow down, it grows straight up (think angela davis, but looser curls). my hair defies gravity. so i would like long hair, but long hair means I have trouble getting into cars (seriously).

[18. Erica said the following at 11:52 AM on Sep 15:]

18

By the way, what about women of african descendants who hair will never grow six inches long. It will grow to two to three inches and stop. No amount of care will move it. Generally African American women has taller hair than other african descendants woman, i believe this is because most african american is mixed with other racial group.

Anyway, growing up in a country with a lot of black women. There is a lot women whose hair never reach five inches. Yet men are attracted to them, marry them and remain faithful to them. As my husband always said, it is not how it tall or short it is but how neat it looks.

I even notice on the african continents, the women there has shorter hair than those in the caribbean and the USA. Men fall in love with them, married them and love them all the days of their lives. I guess men preference for tall hair is based on culture. By the way, my mother hair never grow to 2 inches and my father has been married to her for 33 years.

[19. L. said the following at 11:52 AM on Sep 15:]

19

I tried an experiment. I had a pixie cut which looked striking because I'm 6 feet tall & have a slim face... but everyone kept saying that guys like long hair so, I grew it out. Past my shoulders. It took over an hour to blowdry & straighten my locks... & still I didn't get asked out!

So all this insistance about guys liking long hair: I don't buy it. Guys must look at more than just hair length when considering a girl (like height) because I'm no closer to getting a date with long hair than I did with short.

Oh, and I now sport an inverted bob that shows my neck (guess that means its short again?) and I think it looks hot!

[20. EM said the following at 11:54 AM on Sep 15:]

20

You know, I strongly dislike sweeping generalizations. But you qualified this so very well that your point was not lost in the exceptions and I can totally agree with you!

[21. Zusanne said the following at 11:56 AM on Sep 15:]

21

Good topic. Loved all the qualifiers :)

My hair is long now--it happened rather accidentally. I had kept it short (above my shoulders) for about ten years, but then I got really busy for about a year, and couldn't get it cut (no salons open between 11:00pm and 6:00am, unfortunately). It's been long ever since--and keeps getting longer. Even though I go regularly for trims/shapings, I can't seem to part with too much of it. Not sure why I'm so attached!

As far as the hassle, it's not too hard to style (amen for curlers!), but I have hair everywhere! I never realized how much I shed.

I do get occasional compliments from women, but I do get regular compliments from men.

Incidentally, I'm the only female in my immediate family with long hair. None of the other women in my family can grow their hair very long. It's too thin to look nice. Most of them have chosen attractive, short styles.

[22. Janelle said the following at 11:57 AM on Sep 15:]

22

I read one time (can't remember where) that women cut their hair short for the same reason that women long ago put their hair up. There's a common idea that long hair = young girl while short hair = mature woman. That's why so many older women cut their hair at least chin-length around age 50-ish. I remember something in "Little House on the Prairie" about how exciting it was for the girls when they finally started pinning up their hair. The little-girl long braids moved toward grown-up styles.

I know I cut my hair recently because I was tired of being mistaken for a teenager and I wanted to look my age. I think shorter hair often achieves that.

I know a lovely woman in her eighties who likes her hair long, and instead of cutting it, she pins it up every morning. It serves the same effect, making her look her proper age, but it's still quite feminine.

[23. Jessica said the following at 12:02 PM on Sep 15:]

23

I wasn't able to read the entire article, so I don't know if the researchers addressed this, but I wonder if this is more of a cultural/ethnic preference than a universal "men in general" preference...? Does the principle hold in other countries?

I currently have short hair, and the only men that compliment me are usually old enough to be my grandfather (and are also hitting on me). When I had long hair, the only men who complimented me were old enough to be my grandfather (and were also hitting on me). I don't seem to have very good luck either way... Maybe I should shave myself bald next.

[24. Kairi said the following at 12:08 PM on Sep 15:]

24

I totally agree with this article. Every guy I've ever asked says he likes girls' hair to be long. And yet so many of my female friends are constantly chopping their hair off. :) Hmm...

[25. Josh said the following at 12:08 PM on Sep 15:]

25

Right on! I love long hair. It really does something to "adorn" a lady.
Someone wrote about how guys don't really notice makeup as much as girls do...I think it's true.

[26. Lucie said the following at 12:09 PM on Sep 15:]

26

I had long (almost elbow-length) hair when I was in my teens, because that was the style in the early 70's. That look would not suit me at middle age. While I like the more feminine appearance of wearing it just to the tops of my shoulders, its thickness and weight make it much more difficult to handle, so I've again opted for short. But at least two guys have indicated, in the past, that they liked it better long.

A woman should wear her hair in whatever length is most flattering to her, IMHO.

While we're on the subject of length, from my pre-teen years to present day I've always preferred long hair on men. But again, at my age, a man with all his own hair, of any length, is something of a rarity! :-)

And speaking of facial hair...some men look good in beards, others just look like hillbillies. But the one thing I can't stand is the so-called "soul patch." Just looks silly to me....

[27. farmer Tom said the following at 12:12 PM on Sep 15:]

27

So, why am I talking about this? Is hair length really that important?

No, it's not; certainly not in the grand scheme of life and faith.

I strongly disagree!!!!!!

If Scripture is our final authority for faith and practice, it is right?

Then God has clearly spoken on the subject, and His Word is definitive.

I Corinthians 11: 15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.

Long hair is a glory given her by whom???

God Himself.

Some one mentions hair as short and sassy!

My reaction to that statement is that the sassy part is a lie pushed by the radical sexually deviant feminists. I can't find it now but their is an entire book about hair and it's politics. Radical short hair cuts are an outward sign of radical rebellion in the heart of women who reject the standards established by the Creator God.

Think of the current celebrities with radical short hair cuts. Ellen Degeneres, Sharon Stone, Kelly Gillis, Mellisa Ethridge's partner, Rosie O'Donnell, and the list goes on and on.

Yes those were harsh statements about some of the above women. The standard is the Word of God, and this list of degenerate women are living in open rebellion to God's Law.

It is clearly evident in our culture that those in rebellion to the order established by God show evidence of that rebellion in how they wear their hair.

I'll be back this evening to defend anything I just said.

Thomas, you made a good start. I just threw down the gauntlet for ya.

[28. Kari said the following at 12:12 PM on Sep 15:]

28

I have trimmed my own hair for years- but decided to have my boyfriend's beautician sister cut it for me. It started at 28 inches long, and although I asked her to cut 2 inches, she cut 7. SO, I was worried because I knew my boyfriend loves long hair-- but his response was:

Anything off the shoulder is long-- I'm not going to be like, "Hey! that girl over there has got 6 inches more than you off the shoulder, I like her better!" That'd be messed up!

BUT I never realized how much I placed my subjective feeling of attractiveness squarely on my long pretty hair until--- it got cut! I am trying my best to grow it back out. It's driving me crazy.

[29. Chris Roberts said the following at 12:16 PM on Sep 15:]

29

My wife knows my preference for long hair. She's never had short hair, always somewhere around or below the shoulders, but I still protest any time she starts talking about a trim. She wins the trim argument, but it keeps my preference in the open. :)

Susan, #15:

I have never compared hair to face and don't know what you mean by a face shape more flattered by one style or another... Sounds like an alien form of algebra.

[30. Lis said the following at 12:16 PM on Sep 15:]

30

i have had long and short hair, i keep changing it. it was halfway down my back, but i cut it shoulder length, and now i cut it really short, but still enough to curl it. i like shorter hair because it makes me look a little older. i'm 24, but look very young for my age. everyone loves my haircut.

now, as far as guys, i think either short or long hair on a guy is fine, as long as a guy is overall clean cut and takes good care of his appearance i don't minds either short or long hair. if he just looks shaggy, that turns me off. i think long hair on men can look gorgeous.

[31. *all*natural* said the following at 12:16 PM on Sep 15:]

31

I have a huge afro. Does that count as long? ;)

[32. Rebekah in SoCal said the following at 12:26 PM on Sep 15:]

32

Well I'm canceling my next hair cut!

[33. Tami said the following at 12:28 PM on Sep 15:]

33

I too think "more feminine" is the key here.

A bob, in my opinion, does not look masculine, even though it's short. Some women look really feminine and stylish with bobbed hair. A bob on a guy would look like a Prince Valiant haircut... NOT attractive. ;)

For me, it's kind of like lack-of-hair on guys. Bald/balding is not my "favorite" look but it really suits some guys.

And since you asked...

It's sort of funny, because there are things many guys wear that I just don't particularly care for. It's a matter of personal taste, so I won't even bother to mention what they specifically are. I guess the point is more that a guy's style tells me something about his attitude towards himself and life. So if I see a consistent pattern of dress (e.g., logo t-shirts ALL THE TIME) that does say something. It's not a matter of saying "Oh, he buys his shirts from X store instead of Y store; how lame!" It's more like -- does the guy live in shorts and Hawaiian shirts? polos? flannels? suits? hiking boots? sandals? oxfords? That says something about his lifestyle. (Not necessarily in a "bad" way.)

[34. Kristina said the following at 12:28 PM on Sep 15:]

34

Since the time I was able to decide for myself, I've always had long hair. I mostly used it as a way to hide myself from the world because I was painfully shy growing up, but the older I got, I realized 1) I don't have the face for short hair, and 2) boys prefer it long. So, long it is. Personally, I just feel that long hair is more feminine. I also do not like facial hair on men... I guess because my dad always had a mustache so I would feel like I was dating my dad or something (weird!).

[35. Darren said the following at 12:29 PM on Sep 15:]

35

Wow! You're telling me that Men are attracted by a woman's physical attributes (including hair specifically)? Shocking! Unbelievable!

Sorry for the sarcasm, but all of this seems a little obvious.

[36. Dan (real name) said the following at 12:29 PM on Sep 15:]

36

DannieA (#8):

"Now that being said, do men really like long hair because it's "pretty" or because of some sexual fetish as I've heard about from male friends"

I have NEVER heard that before!!!! I am certain you know this, but not every guys preference comes from some sort of sexual deviant fetish (see Ted's post on Men: Lust-driven beasts).

I for one am not really attracted to the overly tanned, skinny legged, hipless, large-chested, fake-blonde, long stringy-haired cheerleader type. I have NO preference for short or long hair (note in post 2 I mentioned that I have been attracted to short-haired women), darkly tanned skinned doesn't attract me all that much either, and I would prefer a woman with some meat and fat on her anyways!

[37. Christy said the following at 12:30 PM on Sep 15:]

37

I have kept my hair between shoulder and shoulder-blade length for my entire adult life so far and never thought much about it. Recently I had a male friend comment to me, totally out of the blue, that he thought it was at the perfect length. I was floored...(a) that he had even noticed my hair length, (b) that he thought about it enough to recognize that he liked it, and (c) that he took the initiative to actually tell me it looked good instead of just think it. I really appreciated his comment and certainly had a bounce in my step thereafter :)

[38. sarah elizabeth said the following at 12:35 PM on Sep 15:]

38

I will say one thing when it comes to guys and what they think about girls looks...they don't often know what they are looking at! Hear me out...a guy friend of mine (in his mid-twenties) said recently that guys can tell when something is off with a girls look, but they have no idea what. And, vice versa, they can tell when something works-but don't know why. Now, hair is a pretty big thing-and guys obviously notice when it looks good, but I can guarantee some of it looking good (that they have no clue about) is less about the length and more about a girl who has a good cut that goes with her face/body, etc.
Us girls can often look at another girl and take apart what she has going on....we might be able to say a woman is wearing a good color and her face and hair look good, but the dress itself doesn't fit properly. Or, her outfit is great, but the make-up is bad or too much for it....or the shirt looks great, but it would look better in a different color or paired with a different bottom. We see the pieces and how they make up the whole. Guys often, look at a woman and see good or bad, but really couldn't tell you what made the difference. For instance, once a guy friend of mine (who is actually fairly observant for a guy) could tell something was different on my friend...my friend and I knew the only deviation from her normal routine was more mascara/eye makeup than usual. My friend could tell something was different...but he commented on a different facial feature looking different. He knew he was seeing something atypical for her, but no idea what!

[39. Dan Gill said the following at 12:38 PM on Sep 15:]

39

To answer Susan H., I see the way hair length complements facial structure. Still, in almost all cases I prefer longer hair. In ALL cases I prefer longer hair to very short (boy cut) hair. My wife had what was popularly known as a shag cut when I met her. She was beautiful, but has grown more beautiful still as her hair has grown. Her hair will not curl, though, and the cut was not a good thing for her.

My daughter donated 19 inches of hair to Locks of Love about 18 months ago, and her hair is getting back to the length she loves (and I love) now.

By the way, I'm one of those guys with a full beard. I've had it for 26 years now. Not about to change. Remember, a beard hides a multitude of chins.

[40. Anonymous said the following at 12:43 PM on Sep 15:]

40

I like your article and applaud your boldness in approaching the subject, albeit a minor factor compared to spiritual virtues.

one quick question though... so, considering most men prefer longer hair, what do they think of women who wear hair extensions? (pending their hair takes long to grow). Many adored celebs wear hair extensions (e.g. paris hilton, britney spears, beyonce) but I've noticed, from both men & women, it being frowned upon by the regular girl-next-door, so to speak. [I'm referring to hair extensions done well, not poorly done application]

Is the preference only for "natural" longer hair, or does it matter if it's fake?

[41. Goldy Locks said the following at 12:51 PM on Sep 15:]

41

Thank you for this post!!! I couldn't agree more! Longer hair also goes along with 'more feminine' clothing. Noooo, I'm not saying you have to walk around in stilletos and a sundress and pearls everyday, but that button down and blazer that works for the office might not be the best choice for a social occasion when you meet potential mates.

The same goes for guys-- a clean cut haircut, nice unwrinkled polo shirt and a fresh shave will beat grimy scraggely goatees and a old college T-shirt.

Whether we like it or not, a lot of initial attraction is physical, so present the best version of you. You don't have to pretend to be someone you're not, but present a nice version of yourself. You'd be surprised how many of us "clean up nicely" when we try.

I would say this also applies to whatevevr you need to do to fix your hair in a way that is flattering, put on a little lip gloss or mascara if that makes you look a little more flattering. Again, you dont have to cake on the make up to pretend to be someone you're not, but just presenting the best version of yourself for that first impression. And ladies-- if you want to try something new, try out a new nail polish or lipstick, not chopping your hair off! I couldn't agree more.

[42. New Bride said the following at 12:55 PM on Sep 15:]

42

I've had my hair at every length, my mom cutting it short from kindergarten to in highschool, really, reall, really long. And from there long, short, long, short and so on.

I actually did have a boyfriend, my first at age 24, I had long hair, cut it short...and it seriously was one of the reasons we broke up...seriously! Long story...no pun intended….that I won’t go into here :)

I went through more phases of long and short hair. Recently growing it out with my sister and friend, to donate to locks of love, which I did a whole 11 inches! :) It’s been hard to get use to not needing as much shampoo. :) But that was such a rewarding experience, something more then my usual cut for a change.

I think to each his own on hair length….as long at it’s not a legalism thing, where you aren’t good enough unless you have long hair…as was part of my experience I eluded too. I know that my own father likes shorter hair and I know a few guy friends who have mentioned they like it shorter on girls then the extra long…and I have girl friends who long hair is the only way to go. Face type is more of factor that I think girls take in mind.

Personally I prefer it longer on me so I can pull it back in a good ol’ pony tail and not have to style it, but I also know my hubby likes it short too. He doesn't have to inhale it while we sleep anymore, or worry about me accidentally whacking him with it. :) But he also doesn’t mind it longer, straight or curly…and that it wonderful for me. I know I have all confidence if I was bald for some reason or another, he would still love me and find me the most beautiful woman in the world. And that is the most important.

So I will go back to….as I know most of my friends find themselves in…that cycle again of growing it out….cutting it short….growing it out….

[43. Adam said the following at 12:56 PM on Sep 15:]

43

Thomas, I have to agree with you. Most (non-Christian, lazy, stubborn, alcoholic, etc.) guys prefer women with longer hair. But why should Boundless women try to attract those types of guys?

Clearly, those of us who are seeking God are also looking for a lady that has high standards.

[44. Courtney P. said the following at 12:59 PM on Sep 15:]

44

As an black women whose hair is relaxed (which means a chemically straighten from the root). My hair is right above my shoulders, the longest it has ever been is a little below my shoulders. Most of the black friends hair is similar in length. Black women that have chemicals in their hair usually don't have long hair down to the middle of the bcaks. Now I do know black women whos have long hair, and in the black community long, flowing hair with out weaves or extensions is very revered or known as "good hair" this is very big issue in the culture and community of African American women. I also know black women who hair is "natural" meaning they do not chemically process their hair, it is an afro, braids, twisted, or just out. You wrote that men are attached to women with long hair, my hair will never be down my black. Are you talking about white men, black men asian etc? Do you think that white men are less attracted to black women because their hair is usually shorter then white women? This post is very interesting, but I think that it was for a certain audience.

[45. obewan said the following at 1:13 PM on Sep 15:]

45

I suppose I prefer long to short, but not too long. Shoulder length is fine enough.

But, on the other hand, I have also been madly in love with a few women with short hair. It really depends more on what kind of face they have and how it goes with their hair. And, I have seen a few older women who look just plain bad with long hair. Most older women look better with shorter hair IMHO.

But really, how much are looks supposed to count anyway? When I was in High School I was in love with a girl that was just plain homely! Years later I looked back and asked myself whatever was I thinking?

[46. Lydia H. said the following at 1:23 PM on Sep 15:]

46

I didn't have a problem with this post. I think there is some truth to it and I think enough caveats were included that keep it from coming across as offensive. :) Women should be open to hearing ideas about how to improve their looks as long as they aren't taken overboard or made to sound like their worth is in how they look.

Currently, I have fairly long hair (longest layers slightly past my shoulder blades). Around age 24 I decided to cut my hair shorter for a different look and because I wanted to appear a bit older. I have always looked very young for my age. Even now, at age 26, I get comments sometimes about looking like I am still in high school.

So I got my hair cut shorter and layered in the back and sides (just above the shoulders) back then and received mostly compliments from women but not from men.

My Mom had told me before that men prefer women with longer hair. I had heard this from other sources too. Part of my motivation for growing my hair back out was this idea. Although, it hasn't seemed to make much difference thus far. I don't really care to cut my hair short now but I can't stand it getting too long as it is more time consuming and expensive to wash it. I have very thick, naturally curly hair so the longer it is, the more shampoo, conditioner and time it takes to wash it.

Interestingly, my Dad seems to take note on how I wear my hair more than it's length. He says I look better with my hair worn down around my face than pulled back or up on my head. I have to agree with him, though sometimes I wear it pulled back on a hot day or while I am working to keep it off my face. In contrast, he says my younger sister looks better with her hair worn in a twist or pinned up on her head. She has board straight, medium thickness hair and a narrower face than I do. I usually wear my hair down at home unless I am doing chores or it is hot and humid.

So maybe guys care for more than just the length but also the style that hair is worn in. At least, that is how it is in my Dad's case.

With my Mom, I don't think he cares as much but he prefers her keeping it colored a darker shade closer to her original color. I think she looks cute with it up on her head.

As far as guys' facial hair, I don't mind a little bit. I like sideburns especially on certain guys I think they look really stylish and sophisticated. I also don't mind goatees. My brother grew one for a while and I thought it looked good on him although he looks fine being clean shaven too. I am not really into the bushy, unkempt beard look, especially when it is mostly or all gray. A neatly trimmed beard is fine. A thinned, half-way beard generally looks more shaggy than manly. :) Guys, if you have gone prematurely gray and you wear a beard, please color it or shave it. Gray beards make men look older and more "grandfatherly" than gray head hair. Even if a guy is in his twenties or thirties, he can look like forties or fifties with a gray beard.

Maybe sometimes women don't like beards or facial hair because it is scratchy when they are kissed? I wouldn't know but that is a guess. ;)

[47. Kellie said the following at 1:28 PM on Sep 15:]

47

I have short hair and have had for nearly ten years. Since I can't do much with my hair to save my life (I could never even manage a decent ponytail), short hair is my answer. The only downside is having to go to the salon every 6-8 weeks.

My husband met and married me with short hair, so no problems there.

[48. Jeni said the following at 1:42 PM on Sep 15:]

48

I am definitely one of "those" girls who changes her hair frquently. Life gets so terribly mundane and hair is the easiest thing to change! I have worn my hair short (showing my neck) and past my shoulders. These days I tend to wear it past my shoulders most often. I'm not sure I'm attracting more men, though. It's sure not showing up in my dating life! Guess that means it takes more than longer hair! ;-) ha!

[49. Ultraviolet said the following at 1:46 PM on Sep 15:]

49

"But if most guys don't like short hair on women, then why do so many women cut their hair short?"

Maybe because the way they present themselves doesn't revolve solely around trying to impress the opposite sex...

[50. RLynn said the following at 2:08 PM on Sep 15:]

50

Interesting discussion--as an African American woman--my hair (relaxed or straightened) will only grow to a certain length and then it breaks off--so I keep it natural and closely cut. I've been told it is attractive and fits my face although I have had a female friend say that it may turn some men off. Question-would men prefer hair (in my case)that were braided (I think I'm a little old for that) or fake (weaves/wigs) as opposed to a natural hair do. I think there is nothing so UNATTRACTIVE as "long" hair that is messy, dirty, or unkempt.

[51. Irene M. said the following at 2:11 PM on Sep 15:]

51

Jefferies, consider this the obligatory "serious" response to a not-so-serious article.

I wonder how the black women reading this post will feel? My mom's only 1/8th black and even she can't get her hair to grow past her shoulders. There are black women with naturally long hair, but generally having long hair, like having blue eyes or pale skin, is a racial characteristic for many women. Furthermore, it's a racial characteristic frequently used to hurt black women and girls.

So, yeah, I understand that this article is meant lightly and I certainly appreciate the disclaimers. I also wouldn't want to come across as hostile, but a comment like "men prefer women with longer hair" is not a racially neutral comment. Many men prefer women with longer hair, because our society generally believes that certain women (the kind of women who can actually grow long hair) are more feminine and beautiful than others.

Maybe more men need to look more closely at their preferences for longer haired women?

At any rate, I really hope my mother isn't reading Boundless today. She buys enough clip-ons to be respected and feel pretty without reading this.

[52. David said the following at 2:14 PM on Sep 15:]

52

I do find it very true. I do prefer a girl to have long hair. In the grand scheme of things, hair length would never ever even be close to being the deciding factor whether or not to pursue a girl; but it is a bonus. :) I find it just makes a girl look more feminine. :D

[53. NeedACatchyName said the following at 2:19 PM on Sep 15:]

53

So, I've been perusing this thread, and it would appear that there are a few parallels between guys' beards and girls' short hair. For example:

Short hair: While some guys like it, most seem to prefer girls with long hair.
Beards: While some girls like it, most seem to prefer clean-shaven guys.

Short hair: As Thomas pointed out, girls tend to compliment other girl's short hair, while guys seem somewhat less complimentary.
Beards: Guys tend to think that beards look cooler than most girls do (at least in my experience).

Short hair: A lot of girls like it because shorter hair = less maintenance (in most cases).
Beards: A lot of guys like them because trimming a beard once every week or two = less work than shaving every day (again, in most cases).

I'm not sure any of this means anything, but it's just something that I've noticed.

[54. Jayme said the following at 2:20 PM on Sep 15:]

54

I think men are more attracted to women who are cute. If you can look cute only with short hair because your hair is too thin or doesn't grow very fast or your face doesn't look right with longer hair, then so be it.

I also agree that men like men with hair longer than shorter.

I also think women typically have shorter hair as they get older because it does thin and for maintenance reasons. When you're 65 and only have so much energy and strength, you tend to have hair styles that the hairdresser can "set" once a week and be done with it. I've been told as I get older (I'm 30 now) that as I get older, my hair should get shorter. Right now, it's a little above the middle of my back.

Men and facial hair - definitely prefer clean shaven, but some men do look good when they have facial hair (properly groomed!)

[55. DannieA said the following at 2:22 PM on Sep 15:]

55

Chris #29

don't protest about a trim. If a woman doesn't trim their hair, the ends become damaged and unhealthy. It's not about cutting hair short, it's about keeping your hair healthy.

[56. Andrea-Elena said the following at 2:24 PM on Sep 15:]

56

Chris Roberts,

I bet it there is some form of algebra to explain it! ;o) Like... the Golden Mean, sorta?

Or it's some microchip we artsy-fartsy people are given at birth. ;o)

Sometimes it's just je ne sais quoi.

farmer, Tom, farmer, Tom, farmer, Tom:

*snicker* ;o) OK...

farmer Tom,

If you're gonna rant, at least get the commas in the right place, my brother.

Actually, 'tis OK... I sense you were typing quickly and intensely. And some folks are quick with that comma-trigger-finger.

1. I wouldn't do a radically short haircut on me, because it's not flattering to my oval-shaped face.

2. As was asked on the Crosswalk forums (where "hair threads" seem to go on forever), how long is long?

3. Isn't it more of a heart issue? Some people style themselves...from a heart of rebellion, defiance, and "I don't care what you think!" attitude (and yet, they do care what others think). Others just like the style, which brings me to ...

4. Just because some fashions and trends began because of one person's heart-attitude, does that mean that the style/fashion itself is inherently about that attitude? (For example, I wear pants, skirts, and dresses. I don't wear pants because of someone's feminist agenda. I wear them because I like them. If our society currently held pants as only for men, I'd stick with that value. But now, society at large doesn't hold to that view. Our culture has changed. I do make sure that I dress as a woman... and that I'm feminine.)

[57. Steve said the following at 2:28 PM on Sep 15:]

57

Honestly, I think you guys are overblowing the whole hair thing. Most guys will be attracted to a girl whether or not she has long or short hair (although some more or less than others depending on how long it is). I prefer "long hair" aka shoulder length-ish, but I've been attracted to longer or shorter than that.

Well, here's how I see it. I am definitely more attracted to a girl who takes care of herself. Exercises regular, eats healthy and not excessively, etc. and takes care of her physical appearance through actions.

Remember, a haircut is just one decision and may be impulsive. That doesn't really show me anything about how you honor God by taking care of your own body / temple of the Holy Spirit. People can't really do anything about their facial genetics (which I know as a particularly non-attractive guy), but people can take care of their bodies.

[58. Alli said the following at 2:31 PM on Sep 15:]

58

I love this Post!

[59. Andrea-Elena said the following at 2:37 PM on Sep 15:]

59

I'm inspired. I feel a parody song coming on!

What's long hair got to do, got to do with it? / What's hair but a secondary factor? / What's hair got to do, got to do with it? / Who needs long hair when the ends get so splitted?

Heh, heh... Now y'all can have Tina Turner for an earworm. ;oP

I think it's interesting that the definitions of short and long seem to differ, pretty widely. Probably depending on what a gal's hair length has been the majority of her life.

I've had "shortish" hair most of my life. That Toni Tennille haircut so popular in the 70s? (chin-length bob, ends curled under) Yep, that was my mom's favorite way to have my hair cut and styled. I've had various versions of that ... and until I was grown and out on my own that I grew out my hair beyond shoulder blade length. (Mom thinks that long hair tends to look stringy and unkempt.)

So... now I have it long (past the middle of my back). I want to keep it longish, but it needs a style... desperately!! I'm thinkin' of layers.

Short for me is chin length. But others see that as still kinda long.

Seems like this issue really is tied to cultural norms, which change over the years... and from people group to people group.

[60. Steve said the following at 2:39 PM on Sep 15:]

60

Oh, and smelling good is WAY more important than hair style IMO.

I'm pretty sure most guys will agree with me here. And maybe even vice versa.

There's something about our bodies that really evokes strong emotions with smell.

[61. Tami said the following at 2:41 PM on Sep 15:]

61

Chris Roberts (29) -- the trim is not necessarily the enemy of long hair. In fact, it's a friend. :) It keeps it healthier, and -- in some cases -- yes, actually makes it *look longer* because the cut helps it stay in "shape."

After years of relatively short hair (bobs, not pixie cuts), I have my hair long now. It used to look *terrible* long, but that was, in part, due to the (sorry!) inept stylist I had before. Those experiences had "convinced" me that I looked bad with long hair. But, now I have a GREAT stylist who cuts my hair in nice layers that keep the "bulk" at a minimum while still maintaining the length.

There's nothing particularly attractive about hair with ratty ol' ends, IMO, so encourage your wife to continue to get her regular trims. :)

[62. Bethany in Denver said the following at 2:44 PM on Sep 15:]

62

I agree with this post, and I do appreciate all the caveats as well. I know a couple personally where the man much prefers her to have a very short cut... and it looks super cute and feminine on her!

While a majority of men prefer long hair, ultimately it depends on personal preference. As we are instructed in scripture that after marriage our body is not our own, I think both spouses should strive for what is pleasing to the other (without a total abandon for what they think of it themselves.)

[63. Ashley Ramsey said the following at 2:45 PM on Sep 15:]

63

I was organizing my picture library this weekend and I couldn't believe how short my hair was last fall. I was practically bald! Ted has more hair than I did.

When Brian and I started dating last October he told me kindly that while he thought my hair was pretty as it was he preferred it long.

From that conversation on I've let my hair grow (regularly trimming and shaping it of course). There have been days when I've missed the convenience of short hair but it's a small sacrifice to give preference to Brian. He's also willing to make similar changes for me and I always feel so cared for when he does.

Speaking of hair, I'm getting mine cut this weekend. keeping the length but hopefully getting bangs! I'm so excited :)

[64. *all*natural* said the following at 2:48 PM on Sep 15:]

64

Courtney P. (#44)

I also agree that this post is probably not geared toward black females' hair, lol. Not necessarily in all cases, since there are definitely african-american women who wear their hair relaxed, but as a woman who wears her hair natural (i.e., no chemicals, in a fro), I can't really see an article like this applying to me. Not saying this post is a bad thing, I'm just kinda left out :-( lol. I love how God has made me and my hair, and I wouldn't change it for the world. :)

[65. M.R. said the following at 2:49 PM on Sep 15:]

65

While the original blog was thoughtful and made me think, "kudos! guys like what they like, good for them!" the defensiveness in some of these posts was seriously hilarious!

Guys, calm down, state your preferences, and stop nervously looking over your shoulder for those evil feminists to come barreling over you! :)

Anyway, my dad is different in that he has always preferred short hair - and he was always urging me to cut my hair short. I was always like, no way, DAD, I'm not mom with her delicate, blue-eyed features! Haha. Plus, my hair was always strong and was easy to grow.

I think he's somewhat of an aesthete, though, and realizes that a short cut can make an average-to-pretty woman truly stunning. Think Halle Berry, Mia Farrow, heck, Twiggy even. It doesn't flatter everyone, though, definitely not my "roman" nose.

Anyway, it's fine to have preferences in these things - I as a woman do too for the opposite sex, and love the surprise and joy that comes when my seemingly ingrained physical preferences are delightfully contradicted in my attractions!

p.s. some of the most beautiful women i have ever seen have been sporting afros! they can be incredibly feminine, truly a "crown"!

[66. Tami said the following at 2:59 PM on Sep 15:]

66

I too thought of African-American women and others who (for whatever reason) cannot grow their hair longer.

Last weekend at the movies I saw a preview for a new movie by Chris Rock -- it's a documentary called "Good Hair". Apparently he got the idea to do this documentary when his young daughter asked him, "Daddy, why don't I have good hair?" The movie shows African-American women and men talking about their hair, and all they do to take care of it (including relaxing, weaves, natural styles, etc). Looks interesting, and relevant to this conversation.

So, yeah. I agree with those of you who have stated that there are a great deal of cultural [and political, in a certain sense -- "statements" you make with your hair can be political] expectations built into this conversation. It's not as simple as "grow your hair and you'll be more attractive to men." (That's as simplistic as "Stop thinking about finding a husband and he'll appear.") There are a number of ways to look feminine without measuring exactly how long your hair is. While I don't like butch haircuts, not *all* short haircuts are butch. So, in some cases it may be a desire to keep it simple... but in some cases, it's what the women are even able to do with their hair.

More about the movie here:
http://festival.sundance.org/2009/film_events/films/good_hair

[67. Courtney P. said the following at 3:02 PM on Sep 15:]

67

All Natural #64
Thanks for the comment,I beleive this article was written by a white male, and he might not know all the myraid of "black hair care" I love the fact that you rock a afro! The question I want to know is are white men attracted to black women because if men like women who have long hair better (I beleive he is talking about white men dating white women). I just find the article at little funny because I am black but have been hit on by white guys. Next time the artilce might want to speak to the different races that read the boundless and that the differences in hair length and hair care.

[68. Thomas Jeffries said the following at 3:03 PM on Sep 15:]

68

Thanks for all the comments so far. To those who wonder if the post might appear insensitive to those women whose hair is too curly, too thin, won't grow long, etc., please understand that I wasn't actually telling women what to do or what I think is right or best. (I warned everybody right up front that I was making a sweeping generalization.)

I also recognize that female hair comes in a wide variety of thicknesses and textures. As a guy whose hair isn't quite as thick as it once was, I know full well that certain things are out of our control.

Bottom line, you don't have to have flowing, golden locks to find a godly mate.

[69. Jo said the following at 3:04 PM on Sep 15:]

69

Jorden, #10:
"When I was dating my ex, she was dead set against me getting a goatee. I felt like being a little rebellious and grew one out. After that she seemed to like it on me, and I have kept it ever since.(Not because she liked it necessarily, but because I liked it)"

Haha, when my mum and dad were dating he had a moustache ('twas the 70s, y'know), and she wondered aloud one day what he'd look like with a beard. He grew one, and after that she could never persuade him to get rid of it.

Ladies, take heed...

[70. Sarah P. said the following at 3:18 PM on Sep 15:]

70

Farmer Tom, now really! Those verses do not say, "and if she doesn't have long hair, she is in sin." I had extremely short hair for about a year, and it had nothing to do with rebellion. I saw a girl on What Not To Wear with a similar face shape to mine who got a short haircut, and I thought it looked really cute and wanted to try it.

I must say, though, that my experiment resulted just as Mr. Jeffries says. At first, lots of people (male and female) complimented me on the haircut. When it grew out a bit and I had it re-trimmed to the original cut, a few people said, "Oh, you're keeping it short?" in a striving-not-to-give-true-opinion tone.

Several months later, an extremely frank young man told me exactly the point of this post -- that men like long hair. So I started growing it again. It is now well past my shoulders, and all the healthier for its previous shortness. :)

[71. Tami said the following at 3:18 PM on Sep 15:]

71

In other related news, Kate Gosselin changed her hair.

[72. Esther said the following at 3:21 PM on Sep 15:]

72

I just donated 10 inches of my hair two days ago, good thing this post came after I worked up the necessary courage...good thing it'll grow back.
And you're too right: female friends loved it!

[73. ashley said the following at 3:22 PM on Sep 15:]

73

Ironically, when I chopped off my locks recently (mid back to above chin), I got more compliments from GUYS. I guess hair is something visible and all, but I do hope and think that most guys will choose their gal based on something more deeper than hair length. I for one would rather a man notice me for my heart for God than my hair length.
But thanks for posting this food for thought as I know it has been discussed a lot by my friends!

[74. Zusanne said the following at 3:32 PM on Sep 15:]

74

farmer Tom (#27) "But IF . . . " That doesn't look like a command. And, now we have clothes to cover ourselves!

Besides, what's long? When my hair hit my shoulders for the first time in a decade, I was complaining about how long it was. Most people in today's society wouldn't call it that.

And, really, plenty of women (like some of those who wrote above) simply cannot grow their hair long. Or, like the (other) women in my family who, because of age and hormones, have very little hair. If it's not styled carefully, they look bald--so, nothing on top but stringy down the back? Just not pretty.

[75. KJ said the following at 3:34 PM on Sep 15:]

75

I currently have very long hair. My boyfriend likes long hair. I like long hair better than the alternative (hours spent blow-drying, straightening, curling, styling, etc.) but I think it would be a misnomer to call what I have "feminine." It pretty much looks like something dead, and it's stuffed into a bun each and every day because I'm an elementary teacher and lice are rampant right now - plus, I can't seem to justify in my mind the thought of spending any time styling it. It's also to the point where it gets in the way of everyday activities, and I'm starting to reach for the ruler more often to try to picture myself post-Locks-of-Love donation.

Here's one hair pet peeve I have - men who won't LET their wives do anything different with their hair. I've seen women who have hair to their waists when it just drags down their faces and makes them look old beyond their years, women wearing the same hairstyle they wore in 1982 when they got married, women whose hair is obviously thinning who would look better (and their hair would look healthier) with a shorter cut, and evidently their husbands won't let them change to something that might look healthy, reasonably up-to-date, and flatter their face, figure, and age.

[76. 'Guerite ~ BoldLion said the following at 3:40 PM on Sep 15:]

76

This is a very interesting post.

Most of my life, 44 years young and not married, I had short hair. I still look like a teenager or in my early 20's. Sometime I have it to shoulder length. But now short and getting long but not to the shoulder length. Why I keep getting it cut? Because my hair gets so wild and can't be tamed. Short hair is better for me which I can keep it nice and straight, or wavy, or spike. It is easy for me to handle.

If I had manageable hair, then I can grow it long to shoulder length again. But it isn't manageable for me. It would take me more than 30 minutes to fix my hair and have to do it again in few hours.

The Heart matters the most and not the hair.

I like man with facial hair and clean and well groomed. If he has a beard then he needs to have a mustache. No beard without a mustache. He's got to have both beard and mustache, or just a mustache only.

Again the heart matters the most of all and not by the look.

Hungry to eat His Word,
'Guerite ~ BoldLion

[77. A. Smith said the following at 3:40 PM on Sep 15:]

77

I read about a woman who did her own little "hair" study. She joined a dating website and created two profiles for herself. They were both identical, but for one profile she wore her hair long and straight, and for the other she wore her hair curly (the way it was naturally).

She got between 20-30 hits on the curly hair profile, and more than 200 on the straight hair profile.

Explain that one! That's bad news for all of us naturally curly gals out there, no matter what our length is!

[78. Jen said the following at 3:46 PM on Sep 15:]

78

This post just made me laugh!:)

I think lot of women are attracted to scruffy guys...at first, but in the end clean cut wins the most favor.

I personally think a little facial hair...just enough, but not too much, is very attractive.

However, I knew a guy who was generally an attractive guy and was pretty clean shaven most of the time. Then I ran into him again, after not having seen him in a few months, and he had grown out a full, thick and bushy beard. I was shocked and amazed, but to be honest, I also felt a little creeped out by the guy! Mostly because I could no longer see his face, and I even found myself wondering if it was really him under there!haha!

I think there is a BIG difference between looking mature and sophisticated in a rugged sort of way, and just looking like an old man! When you ARE an old man, I say you've probably earned your right to be bushy in that case! haha!:)

[79. BDB said the following at 3:58 PM on Sep 15:]

79

Wow - what a long post about long hair.

Reminds me of a Dilbert comic strip that showed three frames.

Frame 1: This woman is single.

(Smiling woman with long flowing hair over one shoulder.)

Frame 2: Same woman, now married

(Short hair above the neck).

Frame 3: Married, 2 kids

(Messed-up short hair combined with exhausted expression.)

The exception, of course, are those married women who grow out their hair for Locks of Love and hack it off once a year. Surprisingly often at the beginning of summer.

[80. edwige said the following at 4:02 PM on Sep 15:]

80

lol... interesting post... yeah for some of us black sistas :) hair grow differently or looks like doesn't grow...it is funny how sometimes with my short afro my own black sistas tells me it is not attractive but with a long weave like a white woman, they all appreciate it on me lol...
and I always joke, yeah I bought it so it is my hair now...

but yeah I prefer my real hair cos it is God given... and I have a friend that prayed for her hair to grow...lol I was shocked but guess what it did!! I don't believe in doing such prayers...but nothing is impossible to God.

and funny enough I have some white males brodas very few who always prefered my afro and natural looks... and had some black males brodas who didn't quite like it... anyway I believe media and culture ultimately shape our views and preferences... the culture here and media shows women with long hair the most attractive one... and christians brodas are influence with media too... but hey maybe they were just born with that preference...hum culture vs biology...which define us?? lol
some of us with short hair that cannot really change anything about it can be confident in a God who loves diversity and who can change the heart of that broda that would have prefer a long hair to still fall in love with us ;)!!!

[81. Elizabeth H. (Russia) said the following at 4:04 PM on Sep 15:]

81

Funny! Thanks for the enlightenment. I, too, always thought guys liked longer hair on girls. Maybe because my dad does.

People often compliment old photographs of me with short hair, whereas it's long now and makes me look younger.

I think that if a woman cuts her hair short and feels fresh and cute in it, then her confidence will add to her beauty. And a long-haired woman may feel bored with her hair and thus seem unattractive.

I like facial hair on guys and have been attracted to several guys with beards. Never kissed one, though!

[82. BDB said the following at 4:19 PM on Sep 15:]

82

Rachael (#6) wrote:

>>Maybe go out and buy some clothes, and then, in place of the new clothes you bought, get rid of the equal number of clothes,<<

Ha ha! Yes, that's called closet-space management, if nothing else.

DannieA (#8) wrote:

>>that would be like discriminating because a man went bald...not his fault! :)<<

And yet, women absolutely DO judge men that way. I must admit though, the age mix of women hitting on me changed significantly when I went from the short businessman-losing-his-gray hair to shaving it all off.

And, to reveal a one-word secret for how married men get away with goatees: conditioner.

[83. Wren said the following at 4:35 PM on Sep 15:]

83

I have a feeling that many guys haven't a clue about how much work long hair can be-- personally, I have very thick hair that I've worn at quite a few different lengths.

The longer my hair gets, the more time it takes to care for it-- time to dry it after a shower, time to style it so that it looks presentable--and I'd estimate that at its longest, my hair took upwards of 45 minutes to an hour to style every morning.

That is why I no longer have long hair-- it's not a matter of being unfeminine, it's a matter of simply not having the time-- or for that matter, the desire-- to spend upwards of an hour every morning styling my hair.

[84. Katy said the following at 4:54 PM on Sep 15:]

84

Why should we be so concerned about what the opposite gender thinks of our hair? We shouldn't be obessed with trying to please others with our appearance. It seems kind of desperate to grow your hair out not because you like it that way but because your boyfriend does. Someone who would do that might be lacking in self-esteem anda backbone.

[85. BDB said the following at 4:58 PM on Sep 15:]

85

Kari (#28) wrote:

>>and although I asked her to cut 2 inches, she cut 7. <<

Hey - we can use that as an example of why women need to study math in school - even if they want to be a beautician!

Regarding the African-American hair styles, there was one woman I worked with whose hair seemed surprisingly straight-ish and flowy, while still dark brown with highlights. One day she simply said, "I wear wigs." No wonder she could change her hair so often and it looked so complicated!

I must say, though, that I've had enough friends go through chemotherapy that I find myself de-emphasizing hair.

[86. Melissa S. said the following at 5:02 PM on Sep 15:]

86

Farmer Tom,

Lol! That was brilliant. Your knack for writing a completely realistic parody, even down to common phrasing and inconsistent punctuation is awesome.

[87. Vanessa said the following at 5:10 PM on Sep 15:]

87

I have worn my hair long most of my life. I once had to have a bad haircut fixed that resulted in my hair being above my shoulders. I refused to get it cut for months after that, split ends and all, because I couldn't bear to have it that short again.

Now, my hair is mid-back and cut in long layers. I'm one of those blessed people who has beautiful hair: not too thick, not too thin...will naturally curl if encouraged, or go straight with a good brushing. I almost never blowdry my hair, rarely heat straighten it, and only use hot rollers about 4x per year (for special occasions).

As to guys and facial hair, my dad was always clean shaven. Sometimes, he'd forgo a day or two of shaving and I LOVED it. I used to rub my face up against his whenever he didn't shave. I think that is partly why I love guys with just a hint of well-groomed facial hair. I like the 2-3 days' worth of perpetual growth.

My guy kisses me on the cheek and I love it more when he's got some scruff than when he's clean-shaven. Of course, I'll take the kisses regardless....

[88. Nicole said the following at 5:13 PM on Sep 15:]

88

there was nothing more liberating than chopping my hair to chin length with a long sweeping bang and cropped short in the back. I haven't had long hair in years. Its so easy to take care of, it doesn't give me headaches anymore to carry around all that hair. And ponytails only look cute when your in high school. Ive never understood why so many women have this irrational fear of cutting their hair, just sit down in the chair and let the stylist do their magic on you!

[89. Kristin said the following at 5:15 PM on Sep 15:]

89

I personally believe that, while some guys are able to pull off facial hair, most of it, is not very attractive. Recently a guy has been talking to me, but I can't bring myself to think he's attractive because he has a weird goatee. Maybe that's shallow, but it's just the way I am.

[90. Jen said the following at 5:25 PM on Sep 15:]

90

in continuation on my thought (#78)...

I am a horse girl. I have partialties as to which horses,i.e. breed, color etc... are more striking to me, but they are all still beautiful according to their own make and design.

I don't think that being more strongly drawn or attracted to one hair type, or any other type of thing when it comes to personal appearance, makes another type any less attractive.

Every woman who is living confidently in her own skin (and hair!), according to her unique make and design, knowing that God put her together that way ON PURPOSE is absolutely beautiful in everyway, and she will always be!

Likewise for men. Being confident and true to who you are as God made you means that everyone else gets to see an aspect of God that no one else is equipped to reflect but you!

Yes, what is on the inside is what counts, BUT, what's on the outside should be a reflection of what's on the inside!

[91. edwige said the following at 5:31 PM on Sep 15:]

91

hahaha BDB I like this one >>what a long post about long hair<< :)

Can anyone tell me... if Eve I mean the first woman possibly had long hair or curly or...?? I mean based on where the Garden of Eden was...middle east sorry I dont really know anything just wnated to know the location and kind of find out what kind of hair she possibly had...
And Jesus oh he had long hair too... maybe... :) lol I just thought of those questions...not seriously of course :)

[92. DannieA said the following at 5:39 PM on Sep 15:]

92

BDB: #82

That's because when a man is going bald, it looks way better and sometimes even sexier when they shave it all off...it exudes confidence!

[93. Papp said the following at 5:54 PM on Sep 15:]

93

This is hilarous. 100 posts on the topic of hair length! haha, thats awsome.

I love long curly hair. Thats just me though. Almost every girl I see nowadays has that long straight hair thing going on and it bores me. But then one girl will be wearing it long and curly and oh man, its just beautiful and overwhelmingly attractive.

[94. Lia said the following at 6:31 PM on Sep 15:]

94

Funnily enough, I look a lot more feminine with my bob than I did with waist-length long hair. Short hair plays up the fact that I have very feminine facial features in a way that long hair never did.

[95. Tom Neven said the following at 6:47 PM on Sep 15:]

95

I have a simple question for everyone, particularly Farmer Tom #27:

Define "long." Define "short."

[96. Leah said the following at 7:21 PM on Sep 15:]

96

Every guy I've ever discussed this with (which admittedly isn't an awful lot) prefers women with longer hair.

I always thought short hair suited Halle Berry but I've heard several guys say "she looked better with long hair".

A Smith (77) - I wouldn't freak too much. Perhaps she just looked better with straight hair. There are some people who look better with curly! :)

Courtney P (67) - I think you might need to lighten up a little bit. I don't think Thomas was writing the article "to" anyone. And please, understand a generalisation for what it is: a generalisation. You don't need to point out to him that it's not always true. He KNOWS that.

Tami (66) - I think saying African-American women can't grow their hair long is a generalisation, too. Beyonce, anyone? (Sure, she's Creole, but she has the African-American genes!) I realise African-American women would generally have more troubles growing their hair long, but you get some anglo women whose hair just stops growing at a certain length. I know a girl (completely anglo & white) whose hair would be not even an inch long. The first time I met her I thought she was recovering from chemo or something, her hair is that short. But no; her hair just doesn't grow any further. She has fun dying it odd colours though.

Chris Roberts (29) - Sorry, but your comment demonstrates that you know nothing about caring for long hair :P A trim every so often is essential. Split ends leave hair looking dry and scruffy. A trim not only gets rid of those split ends, but actually promotes growth, much like pruning a bush.

Susan H (15) - I think men see how the hair interacts with the face without even realising.

L (19) - Why must you blow dry and straighten your hair just coz it's long? I don't. I towel-dry it til it's damp (ie. not dripping wet) and then let it dry naturally. I only blow-dry if I'm going out and need it to dry faster. And I never straighten it. Having long hair doesn't necessarily mean a longer hair preparation time. I have a friend who used to wear her hair very short. I remember getting ready for a formal dinner on a camp with her when we were 16; I brushed my hair, caught half of it up in a pony tail, left half of it out and was done. She brushed her hair, put mousse through, blow-dried it while brushing it out to make it flick out, then sprayed it with hairspray. Her hair took 4 times as long to do as mine.

Interestingly, as she became more interested in being feminine and girl, she grew her hair out, and it is now longer than mine!

Oh, and of COURSE a guy is not going to ask you out based solely on your hair length.

[97. Phoebe said the following at 7:40 PM on Sep 15:]

97

I'm getting one thing... actual length of a woman's hair can vary... but men like women to look feminine, and long hair is natural to that!

Obviously, there are also many styles to looking feminine, but in our culture hair, jewelery, makeup, skirts all play into it.

[98. endlessnights said the following at 7:47 PM on Sep 15:]

98

Hmmm...I personally find a girl attractive with long hair, because girls with short hair..sorry ladies out there that have it above the neck line..but it isn't as nice too look at.

[99. kaj said the following at 7:55 PM on Sep 15:]

99

Since this is such a hair-raising thread, [*rimshot*] how about those paintings of [how we usually picture] Jesus?

A majority I've seen portray him with what many North American cultures would consider "long" hair. And He is usually portrayed with a beard as well.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I have heard that in the time Jesus was walking the earth, Jewish men had long hair and beards, while the Romans had short hair and were clean-shaven.

[100. pass the ammunition said the following at 9:30 PM on Sep 15:]

100

someone DID NOT just use Beyonce as an example of a Black woman with long hair? LOL just shows how clueless most White people are about Black hair. 99.9% of Black celebs wear hair weaves, and many even have their own lines of hair extensions.

In order to have straight hair, Black women must use chemical relaxers that must be redone every 4-6 weeks. If a Black women wears her hair "naturally" it grows in an afro--which grows "out" and not down and straight. I wear my hair naturally and it is about 15 inches. Because I have black hair, this grows out and it does not even come down my shoulders. Get a clue people.

[1. Louise from Chicago said the following at 10:20 AM on Sep 15:]

1

I prefer men who have hair on their heads and to be clean shaven.

[2. Dan (real name) said the following at 10:22 AM on Sep 15:]

2

I don't expect to be the first post response, and I won't be hostile, but what is wrong with guys liking longer hair in women (assuming that there will be a train of hostile responses to follow)?

BTW, I have met and been very attracted to women with short hair!

[3. Kes said the following at 10:29 AM on Sep 15:]

3

I began growing my hair longer shortly after I started going out with my boyfriend - but for a rather vain reason on my part. ;-) I knew he was going to ask me out to his FD's ball this fall and wanted to be able to do something girly with my hair.

Now I'm incredibly curious as to whether or not he likes it longer. Hm. Growing up, my dad always liked my mom's hair in a short bob, so I've never known what to think!

[4. Rebekah said the following at 10:53 AM on Sep 15:]

4

Guys totally prefer long hair; I don't need a scientific study to tell me that. They also don't really seem to notice make-up; I think women tend to groom for each other.
On the flip side, most women hate facial hair-again, a generalization since I have a few friends who do like it.
Facial hair on a guy, however, like long hair on a women, is a personal preference and not an indicator of spirituality or a deal-breaker as far as a relationship is concerned.

[5. Holly said the following at 10:56 AM on Sep 15:]

5

Ironically, I thought my hubby liked my "short" hair, but apparently we have different definitions of "short".

I consider "short" to be anything above my shoulders (considering I had waist-length hair until I was 14, this is comparably shorter). But you consider "short" as anything exposing most of the neck (I think Demi Moore in Ghost).

The perfect length that my hubby prefers is right below the chin. You should have seen his reaction when I came home sporting a Reese Witherspoon-inspired do from Sweet Home Alabama.

So, I'd say if you're married, sport the hair that you both like (especially him). The rewards will be far greater. ;-)

[6. Rachael said the following at 10:57 AM on Sep 15:]

6

I wonder if this post will make any women cry...

Perhaps, though, some short-haired woman will want to know what men might commonly think and after an online search happen upon this post and perhaps find it helpful, if they want to try a new do. Hair can grow.

The looks issue is kind-of sad to me.

Currently, I look good to my husband even with generally little to no effort.

But what about 10 years from now or if I get pregnant and gain a ton of weight? I will probably be a little uneasy about pregnancy weight gain, if I am blessed to get pregnant. I might worry about weight that might pop up in a place(s) besides the belly area.

In a couple or more decades, I may end up wearing a short or reasonably short length. Maybe I won't wear it well or look that good to my husband as my face and hair change in the future.

Hopefully, though, that by the time I look uglier my character will gain more beauty, and hopefully that will facilitate attraction even if I turn out ugly in the future.

There can be beautiful old women, though.

I want to radiate beauty even if my looks don't in the future.

I should work on radiating inner beauty at present...

**************************

Since the question "At the same time, are there things guys can do to change their appearance that women generally prefer?", though...

And I hope I don't make any men cry...

This tip is for older men, though it might apply to slightly older men as well.

One day my sister, brother-in-law, husband and I all went shopping one day, primarily for my husband. He got some nice-looking clothes that day. I like it when he wears a certain shirt and pair of jeans that he got that day. They might 'youthen' his looks a little.

My husband tends to keep things... including clothes...for years and years. He has many, many clothes. Including many old clothes, I think.

For people who are like that...here's an idea. Maybe go out and buy some clothes, and then, in place of the new clothes you bought, get rid of the equal number of clothes, even if 'they're okay', even if 'they're still wearable'. You don't have to waste those clothes. You can donate them. I think with Goodwill and maybe others you can even track your donation and get a receipt (maybe) for tax purposes.

Anyway, I'm not a fashion guru, but, I'd suggest aiming for modern or semi-modern clothes.

And...if your hair is balding. My husband's is. Just keep the hair that's there short or reasonably short. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

And...it's often okay to untuck your shirts.

There!

But please, please don't cry or feel self-conscious if you don't like these tips or if you don't choose to follow them. It's okay to wear a shirt tucked in and probably often looks good that way, it's okay if you don't keep your hair too short, and it's okay if you wear old clothes.

This is a stereotype, but, I think you'll more often notice pretty gals with guys who are average or less than than really good looking guys with less than the equivalent in women.

My stereotype is that women are more often somewhat generous in what their significant other looks like than the other way around.

Perhaps a lot of what can be attractive to a woman is the man's character and the way he feels about (and shows that feeling toward) and pursuit of her.

[7. Alyssa said the following at 11:01 AM on Sep 15:]

7

I've always heard this fun fact and am smiling at the fact that you are fully aware that you're probably about to receive hostile responses. I'm not laughing at you, just at your fun way of being to the point.

I do have a short, slightly sassy do and love it! But you're right, my girlfriends are the ones that affirmed it. You're also right that I cut it because I was ready for a change!

[8. DannieA said the following at 11:01 AM on Sep 15:]

8

Men may like longer hair, but they should consider that not every woman has the capacity to grow it...

My mom has short hair and it doesn't grow fast and it is thin...

Now I on the other hand can blink and my hair has grown out immensely. During August when I was busy with my ailing Grandmother, I didn't go to the salon and I just came back to work with hair 2 inches longer...yikes, that looks horrible considering I have highlights that need to be redone. I can cut it and it will be long within the year.

So men, beware, sometimes women just are naturally able to grow their hair, and sometimes it's just not as easy...that would be like discriminating because a man went bald...not his fault! :)

Now that being said, do men really like long hair because it's "pretty" or because of some sexual fetish as I've heard about from male friends????

*I'm not trying to be crass*

[9. Chris said the following at 11:02 AM on Sep 15:]

9

Every time I grow a beard for cold weather, I offer to stay clean shaven if my wife will grow her hair longer than shoulder length.

Her distaste in washing/combing long hair and my distaste for shaving have kept things at bay for many years now.

[10. Jorden said the following at 11:07 AM on Sep 15:]

10

"If a guy is attracted to or is already in a relationship with a girl and she decides to cut her hair short, the guy rarely stops liking her based on this act alone. (If he does, he's probably pretty shallow anyway.)"

That just happened to me, lol. My girlfriend just went out one day because she was bored with her hair and whacked over 6 inches off. I have to say I did prefer her with longer hair, but I agree with your statement that I still like her ;).

She looks cute with her hair the way it is, but I wouldn't mind her growing it back out when she is bored with it again. I dunno, I have always found girls with longer hair more attractive. But short hair isn't necessarily a turn off. My first major crush had short hair. It all depends.

I'm curious about the goatee thing which Thomas mentioned. When I was dating my ex, she was dead set against me getting a goatee. I felt like being a little rebellious and grew one out. After that she seemed to like it on me, and I have kept it ever since.(Not because she liked it necessarily, but because I liked it)

[11. Jo said the following at 11:10 AM on Sep 15:]

11

"The point is that women with short haircuts are affirmed almost exclusively by ... other women."

Ah, but that's always true. Women affirm other women's appearances - men do it much less.

When I cut my hair short(ish) a guy I liked very much at the time made a very nice unprovoked comment about it. :) It's longer again now though. I'm one of those who just likes a change every so often.

I wonder if anyone's going to bring up 1 Corinthians 11...

[12. Naomi said the following at 11:14 AM on Sep 15:]

12

I LOVED this blog post. Mostly because it is an echo of things I have been saying for years.

I am a girl of extremes. From age 16-20ish, I had very VERY short hair. Like boy-cut short. I didn't cut it to make a statement, or even think much about it. I just wanted a change (well-said, writer!).

And then, around age 20, I decided to grow my hair out long. And resolved to never cut it short again.

From conversations I've had with guys, including my brothers, the majority of males prefer girls with longer hair. Looking back, I realize that it's a lot easier for me to be feminine, girlie and attractive with longer hair. When my hair was short, I felt the NEED to put on makeup, or wear a skirt, or do something to make sure people knew I was a girl.. actually, that was never a problem for me. I was never called 'sir' or 'mister,' like some women with short hair that I know... but now, I can be fresh-faced, with wet hair and wearing jeans, and still being womanly.

Mostly, I have realized that science or not, male attraction ratio or not, with longer hair, I just feel more feminine. And since God designed me to be a woman, that's a good thing!

[13. DEH said the following at 11:23 AM on Sep 15:]

13

My husband, my dad, and my father-in-law have all expressed that they like long hair on women.

I actually find that longer hair (with a good cut) is easier to style than many shorter hair cuts. But that's just been my experience.

As a woman, I prefer guys with a little facial hair, like a neatly trimmed goatee.

This post put a smile on my face. :)

[14. Reid said the following at 11:25 AM on Sep 15:]

14

Hmm. Will there be a follow-up about the length of men's hair (facial or on top)?

Candice's categorization of longer hair as "more feminine" seems to be the important factor, in my opinion. The mere fact that women are seen to have longer hair leads to it being a "cue" of the female sex. The more of these cues someone displays, the more they fit comfortable cultural expectations/norms of people who are looking around for potential relationships. (Isn't it also true that a guy with finely-manicured nails, for instance, is perceived as less "male" because that's a mostly female practice?)

But yeah, the fact that the interpretation is so culturally-dependent means that it's hard to apply any generalizations.

[15. Susan H. said the following at 11:34 AM on Sep 15:]

15

So tell me this.

I have a face shape (slightly long) that is most flattered when my hair is about chin-length or a little shorter.

Many women--Candice is a good example--have facial features that are more flattered by long hair.

Is this something that men even see? Or do they just see the hair and not the way that it interacts with the face?

[16. Whitney said the following at 11:35 AM on Sep 15:]

16

LOLLLL. i love this article & i heart boundless.org. thank you for writing. i recently joined a forum: longhaircareforum.com just because of my hair... i love it (my hair and the forum, lol). it's mid-back length and has been thick and long my entire life (thank You Lord, i love it). i don't plan on dyeing nor cutting it "for the world" --no pun intended! ;) bless you brother in Christ!

Whitney
http://twitter.com/Child0fGod
http://youtube.com/ithankyouLord

[17. Jane said the following at 11:42 AM on Sep 15:]

17

I think you might be forgetting one tiny thing: what about women with natural black hair?

I have short hair, because I'm biracial and have a fro (a frohawk, currently, sort of). My hair doesn't grow down, it grows straight up (think angela davis, but looser curls). my hair defies gravity. so i would like long hair, but long hair means I have trouble getting into cars (seriously).

[18. Erica said the following at 11:52 AM on Sep 15:]

18

By the way, what about women of african descendants who hair will never grow six inches long. It will grow to two to three inches and stop. No amount of care will move it. Generally African American women has taller hair than other african descendants woman, i believe this is because most african american is mixed with other racial group.

Anyway, growing up in a country with a lot of black women. There is a lot women whose hair never reach five inches. Yet men are attracted to them, marry them and remain faithful to them. As my husband always said, it is not how it tall or short it is but how neat it looks.

I even notice on the african continents, the women there has shorter hair than those in the caribbean and the USA. Men fall in love with them, married them and love them all the days of their lives. I guess men preference for tall hair is based on culture. By the way, my mother hair never grow to 2 inches and my father has been married to her for 33 years.

[19. L. said the following at 11:52 AM on Sep 15:]

19

I tried an experiment. I had a pixie cut which looked striking because I'm 6 feet tall & have a slim face... but everyone kept saying that guys like long hair so, I grew it out. Past my shoulders. It took over an hour to blowdry & straighten my locks... & still I didn't get asked out!

So all this insistance about guys liking long hair: I don't buy it. Guys must look at more than just hair length when considering a girl (like height) because I'm no closer to getting a date with long hair than I did with short.

Oh, and I now sport an inverted bob that shows my neck (guess that means its short again?) and I think it looks hot!

[20. EM said the following at 11:54 AM on Sep 15:]

20

You know, I strongly dislike sweeping generalizations. But you qualified this so very well that your point was not lost in the exceptions and I can totally agree with you!

[21. Zusanne said the following at 11:56 AM on Sep 15:]

21

Good topic. Loved all the qualifiers :)

My hair is long now--it happened rather accidentally. I had kept it short (above my shoulders) for about ten years, but then I got really busy for about a year, and couldn't get it cut (no salons open between 11:00pm and 6:00am, unfortunately). It's been long ever since--and keeps getting longer. Even though I go regularly for trims/shapings, I can't seem to part with too much of it. Not sure why I'm so attached!

As far as the hassle, it's not too hard to style (amen for curlers!), but I have hair everywhere! I never realized how much I shed.

I do get occasional compliments from women, but I do get regular compliments from men.

Incidentally, I'm the only female in my immediate family with long hair. None of the other women in my family can grow their hair very long. It's too thin to look nice. Most of them have chosen attractive, short styles.

[22. Janelle said the following at 11:57 AM on Sep 15:]

22

I read one time (can't remember where) that women cut their hair short for the same reason that women long ago put their hair up. There's a common idea that long hair = young girl while short hair = mature woman. That's why so many older women cut their hair at least chin-length around age 50-ish. I remember something in "Little House on the Prairie" about how exciting it was for the girls when they finally started pinning up their hair. The little-girl long braids moved toward grown-up styles.

I know I cut my hair recently because I was tired of being mistaken for a teenager and I wanted to look my age. I think shorter hair often achieves that.

I know a lovely woman in her eighties who likes her hair long, and instead of cutting it, she pins it up every morning. It serves the same effect, making her look her proper age, but it's still quite feminine.

[23. Jessica said the following at 12:02 PM on Sep 15:]

23

I wasn't able to read the entire article, so I don't know if the researchers addressed this, but I wonder if this is more of a cultural/ethnic preference than a universal "men in general" preference...? Does the principle hold in other countries?

I currently have short hair, and the only men that compliment me are usually old enough to be my grandfather (and are also hitting on me). When I had long hair, the only men who complimented me were old enough to be my grandfather (and were also hitting on me). I don't seem to have very good luck either way... Maybe I should shave myself bald next.

[24. Kairi said the following at 12:08 PM on Sep 15:]

24

I totally agree with this article. Every guy I've ever asked says he likes girls' hair to be long. And yet so many of my female friends are constantly chopping their hair off. :) Hmm...

[25. Josh said the following at 12:08 PM on Sep 15:]

25

Right on! I love long hair. It really does something to "adorn" a lady.
Someone wrote about how guys don't really notice makeup as much as girls do...I think it's true.

[26. Lucie said the following at 12:09 PM on Sep 15:]

26

I had long (almost elbow-length) hair when I was in my teens, because that was the style in the early 70's. That look would not suit me at middle age. While I like the more feminine appearance of wearing it just to the tops of my shoulders, its thickness and weight make it much more difficult to handle, so I've again opted for short. But at least two guys have indicated, in the past, that they liked it better long.

A woman should wear her hair in whatever length is most flattering to her, IMHO.

While we're on the subject of length, from my pre-teen years to present day I've always preferred long hair on men. But again, at my age, a man with all his own hair, of any length, is something of a rarity! :-)

And speaking of facial hair...some men look good in beards, others just look like hillbillies. But the one thing I can't stand is the so-called "soul patch." Just looks silly to me....

[27. farmer Tom said the following at 12:12 PM on Sep 15:]

27

So, why am I talking about this? Is hair length really that important?

No, it's not; certainly not in the grand scheme of life and faith.

I strongly disagree!!!!!!

If Scripture is our final authority for faith and practice, it is right?

Then God has clearly spoken on the subject, and His Word is definitive.

I Corinthians 11: 15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.

Long hair is a glory given her by whom???

God Himself.

Some one mentions hair as short and sassy!

My reaction to that statement is that the sassy part is a lie pushed by the radical sexually deviant feminists. I can't find it now but their is an entire book about hair and it's politics. Radical short hair cuts are an outward sign of radical rebellion in the heart of women who reject the standards established by the Creator God.

Think of the current celebrities with radical short hair cuts. Ellen Degeneres, Sharon Stone, Kelly Gillis, Mellisa Ethridge's partner, Rosie O'Donnell, and the list goes on and on.

Yes those were harsh statements about some of the above women. The standard is the Word of God, and this list of degenerate women are living in open rebellion to God's Law.

It is clearly evident in our culture that those in rebellion to the order established by God show evidence of that rebellion in how they wear their hair.

I'll be back this evening to defend anything I just said.

Thomas, you made a good start. I just threw down the gauntlet for ya.

[28. Kari said the following at 12:12 PM on Sep 15:]

28

I have trimmed my own hair for years- but decided to have my boyfriend's beautician sister cut it for me. It started at 28 inches long, and although I asked her to cut 2 inches, she cut 7. SO, I was worried because I knew my boyfriend loves long hair-- but his response was:

Anything off the shoulder is long-- I'm not going to be like, "Hey! that girl over there has got 6 inches more than you off the shoulder, I like her better!" That'd be messed up!

BUT I never realized how much I placed my subjective feeling of attractiveness squarely on my long pretty hair until--- it got cut! I am trying my best to grow it back out. It's driving me crazy.

[29. Chris Roberts said the following at 12:16 PM on Sep 15:]

29

My wife knows my preference for long hair. She's never had short hair, always somewhere around or below the shoulders, but I still protest any time she starts talking about a trim. She wins the trim argument, but it keeps my preference in the open. :)

Susan, #15:

I have never compared hair to face and don't know what you mean by a face shape more flattered by one style or another... Sounds like an alien form of algebra.

[30. Lis said the following at 12:16 PM on Sep 15:]

30

i have had long and short hair, i keep changing it. it was halfway down my back, but i cut it shoulder length, and now i cut it really short, but still enough to curl it. i like shorter hair because it makes me look a little older. i'm 24, but look very young for my age. everyone loves my haircut.

now, as far as guys, i think either short or long hair on a guy is fine, as long as a guy is overall clean cut and takes good care of his appearance i don't minds either short or long hair. if he just looks shaggy, that turns me off. i think long hair on men can look gorgeous.

[31. *all*natural* said the following at 12:16 PM on Sep 15:]

31

I have a huge afro. Does that count as long? ;)

[32. Rebekah in SoCal said the following at 12:26 PM on Sep 15:]

32

Well I'm canceling my next hair cut!

[33. Tami said the following at 12:28 PM on Sep 15:]

33

I too think "more feminine" is the key here.

A bob, in my opinion, does not look masculine, even though it's short. Some women look really feminine and stylish with bobbed hair. A bob on a guy would look like a Prince Valiant haircut... NOT attractive. ;)

For me, it's kind of like lack-of-hair on guys. Bald/balding is not my "favorite" look but it really suits some guys.

And since you asked...

It's sort of funny, because there are things many guys wear that I just don't particularly care for. It's a matter of personal taste, so I won't even bother to mention what they specifically are. I guess the point is more that a guy's style tells me something about his attitude towards himself and life. So if I see a consistent pattern of dress (e.g., logo t-shirts ALL THE TIME) that does say something. It's not a matter of saying "Oh, he buys his shirts from X store instead of Y store; how lame!" It's more like -- does the guy live in shorts and Hawaiian shirts? polos? flannels? suits? hiking boots? sandals? oxfords? That says something about his lifestyle. (Not necessarily in a "bad" way.)

[34. Kristina said the following at 12:28 PM on Sep 15:]

34

Since the time I was able to decide for myself, I've always had long hair. I mostly used it as a way to hide myself from the world because I was painfully shy growing up, but the older I got, I realized 1) I don't have the face for short hair, and 2) boys prefer it long. So, long it is. Personally, I just feel that long hair is more feminine. I also do not like facial hair on men... I guess because my dad always had a mustache so I would feel like I was dating my dad or something (weird!).

[35. Darren said the following at 12:29 PM on Sep 15:]

35

Wow! You're telling me that Men are attracted by a woman's physical attributes (including hair specifically)? Shocking! Unbelievable!

Sorry for the sarcasm, but all of this seems a little obvious.

[36. Dan (real name) said the following at 12:29 PM on Sep 15:]

36

DannieA (#8):

"Now that being said, do men really like long hair because it's "pretty" or because of some sexual fetish as I've heard about from male friends"

I have NEVER heard that before!!!! I am certain you know this, but not every guys preference comes from some sort of sexual deviant fetish (see Ted's post on Men: Lust-driven beasts).

I for one am not really attracted to the overly tanned, skinny legged, hipless, large-chested, fake-blonde, long stringy-haired cheerleader type. I have NO preference for short or long hair (note in post 2 I mentioned that I have been attracted to short-haired women), darkly tanned skinned doesn't attract me all that much either, and I would prefer a woman with some meat and fat on her anyways!

[37. Christy said the following at 12:30 PM on Sep 15:]

37

I have kept my hair between shoulder and shoulder-blade length for my entire adult life so far and never thought much about it. Recently I had a male friend comment to me, totally out of the blue, that he thought it was at the perfect length. I was floored...(a) that he had even noticed my hair length, (b) that he thought about it enough to recognize that he liked it, and (c) that he took the initiative to actually tell me it looked good instead of just think it. I really appreciated his comment and certainly had a bounce in my step thereafter :)

[38. sarah elizabeth said the following at 12:35 PM on Sep 15:]

38

I will say one thing when it comes to guys and what they think about girls looks...they don't often know what they are looking at! Hear me out...a guy friend of mine (in his mid-twenties) said recently that guys can tell when something is off with a girls look, but they have no idea what. And, vice versa, they can tell when something works-but don't know why. Now, hair is a pretty big thing-and guys obviously notice when it looks good, but I can guarantee some of it looking good (that they have no clue about) is less about the length and more about a girl who has a good cut that goes with her face/body, etc.
Us girls can often look at another girl and take apart what she has going on....we might be able to say a woman is wearing a good color and her face and hair look good, but the dress itself doesn't fit properly. Or, her outfit is great, but the make-up is bad or too much for it....or the shirt looks great, but it would look better in a different color or paired with a different bottom. We see the pieces and how they make up the whole. Guys often, look at a woman and see good or bad, but really couldn't tell you what made the difference. For instance, once a guy friend of mine (who is actually fairly observant for a guy) could tell something was different on my friend...my friend and I knew the only deviation from her normal routine was more mascara/eye makeup than usual. My friend could tell something was different...but he commented on a different facial feature looking different. He knew he was seeing something atypical for her, but no idea what!

[39. Dan Gill said the following at 12:38 PM on Sep 15:]

39

To answer Susan H., I see the way hair length complements facial structure. Still, in almost all cases I prefer longer hair. In ALL cases I prefer longer hair to very short (boy cut) hair. My wife had what was popularly known as a shag cut when I met her. She was beautiful, but has grown more beautiful still as her hair has grown. Her hair will not curl, though, and the cut was not a good thing for her.

My daughter donated 19 inches of hair to Locks of Love about 18 months ago, and her hair is getting back to the length she loves (and I love) now.

By the way, I'm one of those guys with a full beard. I've had it for 26 years now. Not about to change. Remember, a beard hides a multitude of chins.

[40. Anonymous said the following at 12:43 PM on Sep 15:]

40

I like your article and applaud your boldness in approaching the subject, albeit a minor factor compared to spiritual virtues.

one quick question though... so, considering most men prefer longer hair, what do they think of women who wear hair extensions? (pending their hair takes long to grow). Many adored celebs wear hair extensions (e.g. paris hilton, britney spears, beyonce) but I've noticed, from both men & women, it being frowned upon by the regular girl-next-door, so to speak. [I'm referring to hair extensions done well, not poorly done application]

Is the preference only for "natural" longer hair, or does it matter if it's fake?

[41. Goldy Locks said the following at 12:51 PM on Sep 15:]

41

Thank you for this post!!! I couldn't agree more! Longer hair also goes along with 'more feminine' clothing. Noooo, I'm not saying you have to walk around in stilletos and a sundress and pearls everyday, but that button down and blazer that works for the office might not be the best choice for a social occasion when you meet potential mates.

The same goes for guys-- a clean cut haircut, nice unwrinkled polo shirt and a fresh shave will beat grimy scraggely goatees and a old college T-shirt.

Whether we like it or not, a lot of initial attraction is physical, so present the best version of you. You don't have to pretend to be someone you're not, but present a nice version of yourself. You'd be surprised how many of us "clean up nicely" when we try.

I would say this also applies to whatevevr you need to do to fix your hair in a way that is flattering, put on a little lip gloss or mascara if that makes you look a little more flattering. Again, you dont have to cake on the make up to pretend to be someone you're not, but just presenting the best version of yourself for that first impression. And ladies-- if you want to try something new, try out a new nail polish or lipstick, not chopping your hair off! I couldn't agree more.

[42. New Bride said the following at 12:55 PM on Sep 15:]

42

I've had my hair at every length, my mom cutting it short from kindergarten to in highschool, really, reall, really long. And from there long, short, long, short and so on.

I actually did have a boyfriend, my first at age 24, I had long hair, cut it short...and it seriously was one of the reasons we broke up...seriously! Long story...no pun intended….that I won’t go into here :)

I went through more phases of long and short hair. Recently growing it out with my sister and friend, to donate to locks of love, which I did a whole 11 inches! :) It’s been hard to get use to not needing as much shampoo. :) But that was such a rewarding experience, something more then my usual cut for a change.

I think to each his own on hair length….as long at it’s not a legalism thing, where you aren’t good enough unless you have long hair…as was part of my experience I eluded too. I know that my own father likes shorter hair and I know a few guy friends who have mentioned they like it shorter on girls then the extra long…and I have girl friends who long hair is the only way to go. Face type is more of factor that I think girls take in mind.

Personally I prefer it longer on me so I can pull it back in a good ol’ pony tail and not have to style it, but I also know my hubby likes it short too. He doesn't have to inhale it while we sleep anymore, or worry about me accidentally whacking him with it. :) But he also doesn’t mind it longer, straight or curly…and that it wonderful for me. I know I have all confidence if I was bald for some reason or another, he would still love me and find me the most beautiful woman in the world. And that is the most important.

So I will go back to….as I know most of my friends find themselves in…that cycle again of growing it out….cutting it short….growing it out….

[43. Adam said the following at 12:56 PM on Sep 15:]

43

Thomas, I have to agree with you. Most (non-Christian, lazy, stubborn, alcoholic, etc.) guys prefer women with longer hair. But why should Boundless women try to attract those types of guys?

Clearly, those of us who are seeking God are also looking for a lady that has high standards.

[44. Courtney P. said the following at 12:59 PM on Sep 15:]

44

As an black women whose hair is relaxed (which means a chemically straighten from the root). My hair is right above my shoulders, the longest it has ever been is a little below my shoulders. Most of the black friends hair is similar in length. Black women that have chemicals in their hair usually don't have long hair down to the middle of the bcaks. Now I do know black women whos have long hair, and in the black community long, flowing hair with out weaves or extensions is very revered or known as "good hair" this is very big issue in the culture and community of African American women. I also know black women who hair is "natural" meaning they do not chemically process their hair, it is an afro, braids, twisted, or just out. You wrote that men are attached to women with long hair, my hair will never be down my black. Are you talking about white men, black men asian etc? Do you think that white men are less attracted to black women because their hair is usually shorter then white women? This post is very interesting, but I think that it was for a certain audience.

[45. obewan said the following at 1:13 PM on Sep 15:]

45

I suppose I prefer long to short, but not too long. Shoulder length is fine enough.

But, on the other hand, I have also been madly in love with a few women with short hair. It really depends more on what kind of face they have and how it goes with their hair. And, I have seen a few older women who look just plain bad with long hair. Most older women look better with shorter hair IMHO.

But really, how much are looks supposed to count anyway? When I was in High School I was in love with a girl that was just plain homely! Years later I looked back and asked myself whatever was I thinking?

[46. Lydia H. said the following at 1:23 PM on Sep 15:]

46

I didn't have a problem with this post. I think there is some truth to it and I think enough caveats were included that keep it from coming across as offensive. :) Women should be open to hearing ideas about how to improve their looks as long as they aren't taken overboard or made to sound like their worth is in how they look.

Currently, I have fairly long hair (longest layers slightly past my shoulder blades). Around age 24 I decided to cut my hair shorter for a different look and because I wanted to appear a bit older. I have always looked very young for my age. Even now, at age 26, I get comments sometimes about looking like I am still in high school.

So I got my hair cut shorter and layered in the back and sides (just above the shoulders) back then and received mostly compliments from women but not from men.

My Mom had told me before that men prefer women with longer hair. I had heard this from other sources too. Part of my motivation for growing my hair back out was this idea. Although, it hasn't seemed to make much difference thus far. I don't really care to cut my hair short now but I can't stand it getting too long as it is more time consuming and expensive to wash it. I have very thick, naturally curly hair so the longer it is, the more shampoo, conditioner and time it takes to wash it.

Interestingly, my Dad seems to take note on how I wear my hair more than it's length. He says I look better with my hair worn down around my face than pulled back or up on my head. I have to agree with him, though sometimes I wear it pulled back on a hot day or while I am working to keep it off my face. In contrast, he says my younger sister looks better with her hair worn in a twist or pinned up on her head. She has board straight, medium thickness hair and a narrower face than I do. I usually wear my hair down at home unless I am doing chores or it is hot and humid.

So maybe guys care for more than just the length but also the style that hair is worn in. At least, that is how it is in my Dad's case.

With my Mom, I don't think he cares as much but he prefers her keeping it colored a darker shade closer to her original color. I think she looks cute with it up on her head.

As far as guys' facial hair, I don't mind a little bit. I like sideburns especially on certain guys I think they look really stylish and sophisticated. I also don't mind goatees. My brother grew one for a while and I thought it looked good on him although he looks fine being clean shaven too. I am not really into the bushy, unkempt beard look, especially when it is mostly or all gray. A neatly trimmed beard is fine. A thinned, half-way beard generally looks more shaggy than manly. :) Guys, if you have gone prematurely gray and you wear a beard, please color it or shave it. Gray beards make men look older and more "grandfatherly" than gray head hair. Even if a guy is in his twenties or thirties, he can look like forties or fifties with a gray beard.

Maybe sometimes women don't like beards or facial hair because it is scratchy when they are kissed? I wouldn't know but that is a guess. ;)

[47. Kellie said the following at 1:28 PM on Sep 15:]

47

I have short hair and have had for nearly ten years. Since I can't do much with my hair to save my life (I could never even manage a decent ponytail), short hair is my answer. The only downside is having to go to the salon every 6-8 weeks.

My husband met and married me with short hair, so no problems there.

[48. Jeni said the following at 1:42 PM on Sep 15:]

48

I am definitely one of "those" girls who changes her hair frquently. Life gets so terribly mundane and hair is the easiest thing to change! I have worn my hair short (showing my neck) and past my shoulders. These days I tend to wear it past my shoulders most often. I'm not sure I'm attracting more men, though. It's sure not showing up in my dating life! Guess that means it takes more than longer hair! ;-) ha!

[49. Ultraviolet said the following at 1:46 PM on Sep 15:]

49

"But if most guys don't like short hair on women, then why do so many women cut their hair short?"

Maybe because the way they present themselves doesn't revolve solely around trying to impress the opposite sex...

[50. RLynn said the following at 2:08 PM on Sep 15:]

50

Interesting discussion--as an African American woman--my hair (relaxed or straightened) will only grow to a certain length and then it breaks off--so I keep it natural and closely cut. I've been told it is attractive and fits my face although I have had a female friend say that it may turn some men off. Question-would men prefer hair (in my case)that were braided (I think I'm a little old for that) or fake (weaves/wigs) as opposed to a natural hair do. I think there is nothing so UNATTRACTIVE as "long" hair that is messy, dirty, or unkempt.

[51. Irene M. said the following at 2:11 PM on Sep 15:]

51

Jefferies, consider this the obligatory "serious" response to a not-so-serious article.

I wonder how the black women reading this post will feel? My mom's only 1/8th black and even she can't get her hair to grow past her shoulders. There are black women with naturally long hair, but generally having long hair, like having blue eyes or pale skin, is a racial characteristic for many women. Furthermore, it's a racial characteristic frequently used to hurt black women and girls.

So, yeah, I understand that this article is meant lightly and I certainly appreciate the disclaimers. I also wouldn't want to come across as hostile, but a comment like "men prefer women with longer hair" is not a racially neutral comment. Many men prefer women with longer hair, because our society generally believes that certain women (the kind of women who can actually grow long hair) are more feminine and beautiful than others.

Maybe more men need to look more closely at their preferences for longer haired women?

At any rate, I really hope my mother isn't reading Boundless today. She buys enough clip-ons to be respected and feel pretty without reading this.

[52. David said the following at 2:14 PM on Sep 15:]

52

I do find it very true. I do prefer a girl to have long hair. In the grand scheme of things, hair length would never ever even be close to being the deciding factor whether or not to pursue a girl; but it is a bonus. :) I find it just makes a girl look more feminine. :D

[53. NeedACatchyName said the following at 2:19 PM on Sep 15:]

53

So, I've been perusing this thread, and it would appear that there are a few parallels between guys' beards and girls' short hair. For example:

Short hair: While some guys like it, most seem to prefer girls with long hair.
Beards: While some girls like it, most seem to prefer clean-shaven guys.

Short hair: As Thomas pointed out, girls tend to compliment other girl's short hair, while guys seem somewhat less complimentary.
Beards: Guys tend to think that beards look cooler than most girls do (at least in my experience).

Short hair: A lot of girls like it because shorter hair = less maintenance (in most cases).
Beards: A lot of guys like them because trimming a beard once every week or two = less work than shaving every day (again, in most cases).

I'm not sure any of this means anything, but it's just something that I've noticed.

[54. Jayme said the following at 2:20 PM on Sep 15:]

54

I think men are more attracted to women who are cute. If you can look cute only with short hair because your hair is too thin or doesn't grow very fast or your face doesn't look right with longer hair, then so be it.

I also agree that men like men with hair longer than shorter.

I also think women typically have shorter hair as they get older because it does thin and for maintenance reasons. When you're 65 and only have so much energy and strength, you tend to have hair styles that the hairdresser can "set" once a week and be done with it. I've been told as I get older (I'm 30 now) that as I get older, my hair should get shorter. Right now, it's a little above the middle of my back.

Men and facial hair - definitely prefer clean shaven, but some men do look good when they have facial hair (properly groomed!)

[55. DannieA said the following at 2:22 PM on Sep 15:]

55

Chris #29

don't protest about a trim. If a woman doesn't trim their hair, the ends become damaged and unhealthy. It's not about cutting hair short, it's about keeping your hair healthy.

[56. Andrea-Elena said the following at 2:24 PM on Sep 15:]

56

Chris Roberts,

I bet it there is some form of algebra to explain it! ;o) Like... the Golden Mean, sorta?

Or it's some microchip we artsy-fartsy people are given at birth. ;o)

Sometimes it's just je ne sais quoi.

farmer, Tom, farmer, Tom, farmer, Tom:

*snicker* ;o) OK...

farmer Tom,

If you're gonna rant, at least get the commas in the right place, my brother.

Actually, 'tis OK... I sense you were typing quickly and intensely. And some folks are quick with that comma-trigger-finger.

1. I wouldn't do a radically short haircut on me, because it's not flattering to my oval-shaped face.

2. As was asked on the Crosswalk forums (where "hair threads" seem to go on forever), how long is long?

3. Isn't it more of a heart issue? Some people style themselves...from a heart of rebellion, defiance, and "I don't care what you think!" attitude (and yet, they do care what others think). Others just like the style, which brings me to ...

4. Just because some fashions and trends began because of one person's heart-attitude, does that mean that the style/fashion itself is inherently about that attitude? (For example, I wear pants, skirts, and dresses. I don't wear pants because of someone's feminist agenda. I wear them because I like them. If our society currently held pants as only for men, I'd stick with that value. But now, society at large doesn't hold to that view. Our culture has changed. I do make sure that I dress as a woman... and that I'm feminine.)

[57. Steve said the following at 2:28 PM on Sep 15:]

57

Honestly, I think you guys are overblowing the whole hair thing. Most guys will be attracted to a girl whether or not she has long or short hair (although some more or less than others depending on how long it is). I prefer "long hair" aka shoulder length-ish, but I've been attracted to longer or shorter than that.

Well, here's how I see it. I am definitely more attracted to a girl who takes care of herself. Exercises regular, eats healthy and not excessively, etc. and takes care of her physical appearance through actions.

Remember, a haircut is just one decision and may be impulsive. That doesn't really show me anything about how you honor God by taking care of your own body / temple of the Holy Spirit. People can't really do anything about their facial genetics (which I know as a particularly non-attractive guy), but people can take care of their bodies.

[58. Alli said the following at 2:31 PM on Sep 15:]

58

I love this Post!

[59. Andrea-Elena said the following at 2:37 PM on Sep 15:]

59

I'm inspired. I feel a parody song coming on!

What's long hair got to do, got to do with it? / What's hair but a secondary factor? / What's hair got to do, got to do with it? / Who needs long hair when the ends get so splitted?

Heh, heh... Now y'all can have Tina Turner for an earworm. ;oP

I think it's interesting that the definitions of short and long seem to differ, pretty widely. Probably depending on what a gal's hair length has been the majority of her life.

I've had "shortish" hair most of my life. That Toni Tennille haircut so popular in the 70s? (chin-length bob, ends curled under) Yep, that was my mom's favorite way to have my hair cut and styled. I've had various versions of that ... and until I was grown and out on my own that I grew out my hair beyond shoulder blade length. (Mom thinks that long hair tends to look stringy and unkempt.)

So... now I have it long (past the middle of my back). I want to keep it longish, but it needs a style... desperately!! I'm thinkin' of layers.

Short for me is chin length. But others see that as still kinda long.

Seems like this issue really is tied to cultural norms, which change over the years... and from people group to people group.

[60. Steve said the following at 2:39 PM on Sep 15:]

60

Oh, and smelling good is WAY more important than hair style IMO.

I'm pretty sure most guys will agree with me here. And maybe even vice versa.

There's something about our bodies that really evokes strong emotions with smell.

[61. Tami said the following at 2:41 PM on Sep 15:]

61

Chris Roberts (29) -- the trim is not necessarily the enemy of long hair. In fact, it's a friend. :) It keeps it healthier, and -- in some cases -- yes, actually makes it *look longer* because the cut helps it stay in "shape."

After years of relatively short hair (bobs, not pixie cuts), I have my hair long now. It used to look *terrible* long, but that was, in part, due to the (sorry!) inept stylist I had before. Those experiences had "convinced" me that I looked bad with long hair. But, now I have a GREAT stylist who cuts my hair in nice layers that keep the "bulk" at a minimum while still maintaining the length.

There's nothing particularly attractive about hair with ratty ol' ends, IMO, so encourage your wife to continue to get her regular trims. :)

[62. Bethany in Denver said the following at 2:44 PM on Sep 15:]

62

I agree with this post, and I do appreciate all the caveats as well. I know a couple personally where the man much prefers her to have a very short cut... and it looks super cute and feminine on her!

While a majority of men prefer long hair, ultimately it depends on personal preference. As we are instructed in scripture that after marriage our body is not our own, I think both spouses should strive for what is pleasing to the other (without a total abandon for what they think of it themselves.)

[63. Ashley Ramsey said the following at 2:45 PM on Sep 15:]

63

I was organizing my picture library this weekend and I couldn't believe how short my hair was last fall. I was practically bald! Ted has more hair than I did.

When Brian and I started dating last October he told me kindly that while he thought my hair was pretty as it was he preferred it long.

From that conversation on I've let my hair grow (regularly trimming and shaping it of course). There have been days when I've missed the convenience of short hair but it's a small sacrifice to give preference to Brian. He's also willing to make similar changes for me and I always feel so cared for when he does.

Speaking of hair, I'm getting mine cut this weekend. keeping the length but hopefully getting bangs! I'm so excited :)

[64. *all*natural* said the following at 2:48 PM on Sep 15:]

64

Courtney P. (#44)

I also agree that this post is probably not geared toward black females' hair, lol. Not necessarily in all cases, since there are definitely african-american women who wear their hair relaxed, but as a woman who wears her hair natural (i.e., no chemicals, in a fro), I can't really see an article like this applying to me. Not saying this post is a bad thing, I'm just kinda left out :-( lol. I love how God has made me and my hair, and I wouldn't change it for the world. :)

[65. M.R. said the following at 2:49 PM on Sep 15:]

65

While the original blog was thoughtful and made me think, "kudos! guys like what they like, good for them!" the defensiveness in some of these posts was seriously hilarious!

Guys, calm down, state your preferences, and stop nervously looking over your shoulder for those evil feminists to come barreling over you! :)

Anyway, my dad is different in that he has always preferred short hair - and he was always urging me to cut my hair short. I was always like, no way, DAD, I'm not mom with her delicate, blue-eyed features! Haha. Plus, my hair was always strong and was easy to grow.

I think he's somewhat of an aesthete, though, and realizes that a short cut can make an average-to-pretty woman truly stunning. Think Halle Berry, Mia Farrow, heck, Twiggy even. It doesn't flatter everyone, though, definitely not my "roman" nose.

Anyway, it's fine to have preferences in these things - I as a woman do too for the opposite sex, and love the surprise and joy that comes when my seemingly ingrained physical preferences are delightfully contradicted in my attractions!

p.s. some of the most beautiful women i have ever seen have been sporting afros! they can be incredibly feminine, truly a "crown"!

[66. Tami said the following at 2:59 PM on Sep 15:]

66

I too thought of African-American women and others who (for whatever reason) cannot grow their hair longer.

Last weekend at the movies I saw a preview for a new movie by Chris Rock -- it's a documentary called "Good Hair". Apparently he got the idea to do this documentary when his young daughter asked him, "Daddy, why don't I have good hair?" The movie shows African-American women and men talking about their hair, and all they do to take care of it (including relaxing, weaves, natural styles, etc). Looks interesting, and relevant to this conversation.

So, yeah. I agree with those of you who have stated that there are a great deal of cultural [and political, in a certain sense -- "statements" you make with your hair can be political] expectations built into this conversation. It's not as simple as "grow your hair and you'll be more attractive to men." (That's as simplistic as "Stop thinking about finding a husband and he'll appear.") There are a number of ways to look feminine without measuring exactly how long your hair is. While I don't like butch haircuts, not *all* short haircuts are butch. So, in some cases it may be a desire to keep it simple... but in some cases, it's what the women are even able to do with their hair.

More about the movie here:
http://festival.sundance.org/2009/film_events/films/good_hair

[67. Courtney P. said the following at 3:02 PM on Sep 15:]

67

All Natural #64
Thanks for the comment,I beleive this article was written by a white male, and he might not know all the myraid of "black hair care" I love the fact that you rock a afro! The question I want to know is are white men attracted to black women because if men like women who have long hair better (I beleive he is talking about white men dating white women). I just find the article at little funny because I am black but have been hit on by white guys. Next time the artilce might want to speak to the different races that read the boundless and that the differences in hair length and hair care.

[68. Thomas Jeffries said the following at 3:03 PM on Sep 15:]

68

Thanks for all the comments so far. To those who wonder if the post might appear insensitive to those women whose hair is too curly, too thin, won't grow long, etc., please understand that I wasn't actually telling women what to do or what I think is right or best. (I warned everybody right up front that I was making a sweeping generalization.)

I also recognize that female hair comes in a wide variety of thicknesses and textures. As a guy whose hair isn't quite as thick as it once was, I know full well that certain things are out of our control.

Bottom line, you don't have to have flowing, golden locks to find a godly mate.

[69. Jo said the following at 3:04 PM on Sep 15:]

69

Jorden, #10:
"When I was dating my ex, she was dead set against me getting a goatee. I felt like being a little rebellious and grew one out. After that she seemed to like it on me, and I have kept it ever since.(Not because she liked it necessarily, but because I liked it)"

Haha, when my mum and dad were dating he had a moustache ('twas the 70s, y'know), and she wondered aloud one day what he'd look like with a beard. He grew one, and after that she could never persuade him to get rid of it.

Ladies, take heed...

[70. Sarah P. said the following at 3:18 PM on Sep 15:]

70

Farmer Tom, now really! Those verses do not say, "and if she doesn't have long hair, she is in sin." I had extremely short hair for about a year, and it had nothing to do with rebellion. I saw a girl on What Not To Wear with a similar face shape to mine who got a short haircut, and I thought it looked really cute and wanted to try it.

I must say, though, that my experiment resulted just as Mr. Jeffries says. At first, lots of people (male and female) complimented me on the haircut. When it grew out a bit and I had it re-trimmed to the original cut, a few people said, "Oh, you're keeping it short?" in a striving-not-to-give-true-opinion tone.

Several months later, an extremely frank young man told me exactly the point of this post -- that men like long hair. So I started growing it again. It is now well past my shoulders, and all the healthier for its previous shortness. :)

[71. Tami said the following at 3:18 PM on Sep 15:]

71

In other related news, Kate Gosselin changed her hair.

[72. Esther said the following at 3:21 PM on Sep 15:]

72

I just donated 10 inches of my hair two days ago, good thing this post came after I worked up the necessary courage...good thing it'll grow back.
And you're too right: female friends loved it!

[73. ashley said the following at 3:22 PM on Sep 15:]

73

Ironically, when I chopped off my locks recently (mid back to above chin), I got more compliments from GUYS. I guess hair is something visible and all, but I do hope and think that most guys will choose their gal based on something more deeper than hair length. I for one would rather a man notice me for my heart for God than my hair length.
But thanks for posting this food for thought as I know it has been discussed a lot by my friends!

[74. Zusanne said the following at 3:32 PM on Sep 15:]

74

farmer Tom (#27) "But IF . . . " That doesn't look like a command. And, now we have clothes to cover ourselves!

Besides, what's long? When my hair hit my shoulders for the first time in a decade, I was complaining about how long it was. Most people in today's society wouldn't call it that.

And, really, plenty of women (like some of those who wrote above) simply cannot grow their hair long. Or, like the (other) women in my family who, because of age and hormones, have very little hair. If it's not styled carefully, they look bald--so, nothing on top but stringy down the back? Just not pretty.

[75. KJ said the following at 3:34 PM on Sep 15:]

75

I currently have very long hair. My boyfriend likes long hair. I like long hair better than the alternative (hours spent blow-drying, straightening, curling, styling, etc.) but I think it would be a misnomer to call what I have "feminine." It pretty much looks like something dead, and it's stuffed into a bun each and every day because I'm an elementary teacher and lice are rampant right now - plus, I can't seem to justify in my mind the thought of spending any time styling it. It's also to the point where it gets in the way of everyday activities, and I'm starting to reach for the ruler more often to try to picture myself post-Locks-of-Love donation.

Here's one hair pet peeve I have - men who won't LET their wives do anything different with their hair. I've seen women who have hair to their waists when it just drags down their faces and makes them look old beyond their years, women wearing the same hairstyle they wore in 1982 when they got married, women whose hair is obviously thinning who would look better (and their hair would look healthier) with a shorter cut, and evidently their husbands won't let them change to something that might look healthy, reasonably up-to-date, and flatter their face, figure, and age.

[76. 'Guerite ~ BoldLion said the following at 3:40 PM on Sep 15:]

76

This is a very interesting post.

Most of my life, 44 years young and not married, I had short hair. I still look like a teenager or in my early 20's. Sometime I have it to shoulder length. But now short and getting long but not to the shoulder length. Why I keep getting it cut? Because my hair gets so wild and can't be tamed. Short hair is better for me which I can keep it nice and straight, or wavy, or spike. It is easy for me to handle.

If I had manageable hair, then I can grow it long to shoulder length again. But it isn't manageable for me. It would take me more than 30 minutes to fix my hair and have to do it again in few hours.

The Heart matters the most and not the hair.

I like man with facial hair and clean and well groomed. If he has a beard then he needs to have a mustache. No beard without a mustache. He's got to have both beard and mustache, or just a mustache only.

Again the heart matters the most of all and not by the look.

Hungry to eat His Word,
'Guerite ~ BoldLion

[77. A. Smith said the following at 3:40 PM on Sep 15:]

77

I read about a woman who did her own little "hair" study. She joined a dating website and created two profiles for herself. They were both identical, but for one profile she wore her hair long and straight, and for the other she wore her hair curly (the way it was naturally).

She got between 20-30 hits on the curly hair profile, and more than 200 on the straight hair profile.

Explain that one! That's bad news for all of us naturally curly gals out there, no matter what our length is!

[78. Jen said the following at 3:46 PM on Sep 15:]

78

This post just made me laugh!:)

I think lot of women are attracted to scruffy guys...at first, but in the end clean cut wins the most favor.

I personally think a little facial hair...just enough, but not too much, is very attractive.

However, I knew a guy who was generally an attractive guy and was pretty clean shaven most of the time. Then I ran into him again, after not having seen him in a few months, and he had grown out a full, thick and bushy beard. I was shocked and amazed, but to be honest, I also felt a little creeped out by the guy! Mostly because I could no longer see his face, and I even found myself wondering if it was really him under there!haha!

I think there is a BIG difference between looking mature and sophisticated in a rugged sort of way, and just looking like an old man! When you ARE an old man, I say you've probably earned your right to be bushy in that case! haha!:)

[79. BDB said the following at 3:58 PM on Sep 15:]

79

Wow - what a long post about long hair.

Reminds me of a Dilbert comic strip that showed three frames.

Frame 1: This woman is single.

(Smiling woman with long flowing hair over one shoulder.)

Frame 2: Same woman, now married

(Short hair above the neck).

Frame 3: Married, 2 kids

(Messed-up short hair combined with exhausted expression.)

The exception, of course, are those married women who grow out their hair for Locks of Love and hack it off once a year. Surprisingly often at the beginning of summer.

[80. edwige said the following at 4:02 PM on Sep 15:]

80

lol... interesting post... yeah for some of us black sistas :) hair grow differently or looks like doesn't grow...it is funny how sometimes with my short afro my own black sistas tells me it is not attractive but with a long weave like a white woman, they all appreciate it on me lol...
and I always joke, yeah I bought it so it is my hair now...

but yeah I prefer my real hair cos it is God given... and I have a friend that prayed for her hair to grow...lol I was shocked but guess what it did!! I don't believe in doing such prayers...but nothing is impossible to God.

and funny enough I have some white males brodas very few who always prefered my afro and natural looks... and had some black males brodas who didn't quite like it... anyway I believe media and culture ultimately shape our views and preferences... the culture here and media shows women with long hair the most attractive one... and christians brodas are influence with media too... but hey maybe they were just born with that preference...hum culture vs biology...which define us?? lol
some of us with short hair that cannot really change anything about it can be confident in a God who loves diversity and who can change the heart of that broda that would have prefer a long hair to still fall in love with us ;)!!!

[81. Elizabeth H. (Russia) said the following at 4:04 PM on Sep 15:]

81

Funny! Thanks for the enlightenment. I, too, always thought guys liked longer hair on girls. Maybe because my dad does.

People often compliment old photographs of me with short hair, whereas it's long now and makes me look younger.

I think that if a woman cuts her hair short and feels fresh and cute in it, then her confidence will add to her beauty. And a long-haired woman may feel bored with her hair and thus seem unattractive.

I like facial hair on guys and have been attracted to several guys with beards. Never kissed one, though!

[82. BDB said the following at 4:19 PM on Sep 15:]

82

Rachael (#6) wrote:

>>Maybe go out and buy some clothes, and then, in place of the new clothes you bought, get rid of the equal number of clothes,<<

Ha ha! Yes, that's called closet-space management, if nothing else.

DannieA (#8) wrote:

>>that would be like discriminating because a man went bald...not his fault! :)<<

And yet, women absolutely DO judge men that way. I must admit though, the age mix of women hitting on me changed significantly when I went from the short businessman-losing-his-gray hair to shaving it all off.

And, to reveal a one-word secret for how married men get away with goatees: conditioner.

[83. Wren said the following at 4:35 PM on Sep 15:]

83

I have a feeling that many guys haven't a clue about how much work long hair can be-- personally, I have very thick hair that I've worn at quite a few different lengths.

The longer my hair gets, the more time it takes to care for it-- time to dry it after a shower, time to style it so that it looks presentable--and I'd estimate that at its longest, my hair took upwards of 45 minutes to an hour to style every morning.

That is why I no longer have long hair-- it's not a matter of being unfeminine, it's a matter of simply not having the time-- or for that matter, the desire-- to spend upwards of an hour every morning styling my hair.

[84. Katy said the following at 4:54 PM on Sep 15:]

84

Why should we be so concerned about what the opposite gender thinks of our hair? We shouldn't be obessed with trying to please others with our appearance. It seems kind of desperate to grow your hair out not because you like it that way but because your boyfriend does. Someone who would do that might be lacking in self-esteem anda backbone.

[85. BDB said the following at 4:58 PM on Sep 15:]

85

Kari (#28) wrote:

>>and although I asked her to cut 2 inches, she cut 7. <<

Hey - we can use that as an example of why women need to study math in school - even if they want to be a beautician!

Regarding the African-American hair styles, there was one woman I worked with whose hair seemed surprisingly straight-ish and flowy, while still dark brown with highlights. One day she simply said, "I wear wigs." No wonder she could change her hair so often and it looked so complicated!

I must say, though, that I've had enough friends go through chemotherapy that I find myself de-emphasizing hair.

[86. Melissa S. said the following at 5:02 PM on Sep 15:]

86

Farmer Tom,

Lol! That was brilliant. Your knack for writing a completely realistic parody, even down to common phrasing and inconsistent punctuation is awesome.

[87. Vanessa said the following at 5:10 PM on Sep 15:]

87

I have worn my hair long most of my life. I once had to have a bad haircut fixed that resulted in my hair being above my shoulders. I refused to get it cut for months after that, split ends and all, because I couldn't bear to have it that short again.

Now, my hair is mid-back and cut in long layers. I'm one of those blessed people who has beautiful hair: not too thick, not too thin...will naturally curl if encouraged, or go straight with a good brushing. I almost never blowdry my hair, rarely heat straighten it, and only use hot rollers about 4x per year (for special occasions).

As to guys and facial hair, my dad was always clean shaven. Sometimes, he'd forgo a day or two of shaving and I LOVED it. I used to rub my face up against his whenever he didn't shave. I think that is partly why I love guys with just a hint of well-groomed facial hair. I like the 2-3 days' worth of perpetual growth.

My guy kisses me on the cheek and I love it more when he's got some scruff than when he's clean-shaven. Of course, I'll take the kisses regardless....

[88. Nicole said the following at 5:13 PM on Sep 15:]

88

there was nothing more liberating than chopping my hair to chin length with a long sweeping bang and cropped short in the back. I haven't had long hair in years. Its so easy to take care of, it doesn't give me headaches anymore to carry around all that hair. And ponytails only look cute when your in high school. Ive never understood why so many women have this irrational fear of cutting their hair, just sit down in the chair and let the stylist do their magic on you!

[89. Kristin said the following at 5:15 PM on Sep 15:]

89

I personally believe that, while some guys are able to pull off facial hair, most of it, is not very attractive. Recently a guy has been talking to me, but I can't bring myself to think he's attractive because he has a weird goatee. Maybe that's shallow, but it's just the way I am.

[90. Jen said the following at 5:25 PM on Sep 15:]

90

in continuation on my thought (#78)...

I am a horse girl. I have partialties as to which horses,i.e. breed, color etc... are more striking to me, but they are all still beautiful according to their own make and design.

I don't think that being more strongly drawn or attracted to one hair type, or any other type of thing when it comes to personal appearance, makes another type any less attractive.

Every woman who is living confidently in her own skin (and hair!), according to her unique make and design, knowing that God put her together that way ON PURPOSE is absolutely beautiful in everyway, and she will always be!

Likewise for men. Being confident and true to who you are as God made you means that everyone else gets to see an aspect of God that no one else is equipped to reflect but you!

Yes, what is on the inside is what counts, BUT, what's on the outside should be a reflection of what's on the inside!

[91. edwige said the following at 5:31 PM on Sep 15:]

91

hahaha BDB I like this one >>what a long post about long hair<< :)

Can anyone tell me... if Eve I mean the first woman possibly had long hair or curly or...?? I mean based on where the Garden of Eden was...middle east sorry I dont really know anything just wnated to know the location and kind of find out what kind of hair she possibly had...
And Jesus oh he had long hair too... maybe... :) lol I just thought of those questions...not seriously of course :)

[92. DannieA said the following at 5:39 PM on Sep 15:]

92

BDB: #82

That's because when a man is going bald, it looks way better and sometimes even sexier when they shave it all off...it exudes confidence!

[93. Papp said the following at 5:54 PM on Sep 15:]

93

This is hilarous. 100 posts on the topic of hair length! haha, thats awsome.

I love long curly hair. Thats just me though. Almost every girl I see nowadays has that long straight hair thing going on and it bores me. But then one girl will be wearing it long and curly and oh man, its just beautiful and overwhelmingly attractive.

[94. Lia said the following at 6:31 PM on Sep 15:]

94

Funnily enough, I look a lot more feminine with my bob than I did with waist-length long hair. Short hair plays up the fact that I have very feminine facial features in a way that long hair never did.

[95. Tom Neven said the following at 6:47 PM on Sep 15:]

95

I have a simple question for everyone, particularly Farmer Tom #27:

Define "long." Define "short."

[96. Leah said the following at 7:21 PM on Sep 15:]

96

Every guy I've ever discussed this with (which admittedly isn't an awful lot) prefers women with longer hair.

I always thought short hair suited Halle Berry but I've heard several guys say "she looked better with long hair".

A Smith (77) - I wouldn't freak too much. Perhaps she just looked better with straight hair. There are some people who look better with curly! :)

Courtney P (67) - I think you might need to lighten up a little bit. I don't think Thomas was writing the article "to" anyone. And please, understand a generalisation for what it is: a generalisation. You don't need to point out to him that it's not always true. He KNOWS that.

Tami (66) - I think saying African-American women can't grow their hair long is a generalisation, too. Beyonce, anyone? (Sure, she's Creole, but she has the African-American genes!) I realise African-American women would generally have more troubles growing their hair long, but you get some anglo women whose hair just stops growing at a certain length. I know a girl (completely anglo & white) whose hair would be not even an inch long. The first time I met her I thought she was recovering from chemo or something, her hair is that short. But no; her hair just doesn't grow any further. She has fun dying it odd colours though.

Chris Roberts (29) - Sorry, but your comment demonstrates that you know nothing about caring for long hair :P A trim every so often is essential. Split ends leave hair looking dry and scruffy. A trim not only gets rid of those split ends, but actually promotes growth, much like pruning a bush.

Susan H (15) - I think men see how the hair interacts with the face without even realising.

L (19) - Why must you blow dry and straighten your hair just coz it's long? I don't. I towel-dry it til it's damp (ie. not dripping wet) and then let it dry naturally. I only blow-dry if I'm going out and need it to dry faster. And I never straighten it. Having long hair doesn't necessarily mean a longer hair preparation time. I have a friend who used to wear her hair very short. I remember getting ready for a formal dinner on a camp with her when we were 16; I brushed my hair, caught half of it up in a pony tail, left half of it out and was done. She brushed her hair, put mousse through, blow-dried it while brushing it out to make it flick out, then sprayed it with hairspray. Her hair took 4 times as long to do as mine.

Interestingly, as she became more interested in being feminine and girl, she grew her hair out, and it is now longer than mine!

Oh, and of COURSE a guy is not going to ask you out based solely on your hair length.

[97. Phoebe said the following at 7:40 PM on Sep 15:]

97

I'm getting one thing... actual length of a woman's hair can vary... but men like women to look feminine, and long hair is natural to that!

Obviously, there are also many styles to looking feminine, but in our culture hair, jewelery, makeup, skirts all play into it.

[98. endlessnights said the following at 7:47 PM on Sep 15:]

98

Hmmm...I personally find a girl attractive with long hair, because girls with short hair..sorry ladies out there that have it above the neck line..but it isn't as nice too look at.

[99. kaj said the following at 7:55 PM on Sep 15:]

99

Since this is such a hair-raising thread, [*rimshot*] how about those paintings of [how we usually picture] Jesus?

A majority I've seen portray him with what many North American cultures would consider "long" hair. And He is usually portrayed with a beard as well.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I have heard that in the time Jesus was walking the earth, Jewish men had long hair and beards, while the Romans had short hair and were clean-shaven.

[100. pass the ammunition said the following at 9:30 PM on Sep 15:]

100

someone DID NOT just use Beyonce as an example of a Black woman with long hair? LOL just shows how clueless most White people are about Black hair. 99.9% of Black celebs wear hair weaves, and many even have their own lines of hair extensions.

In order to have straight hair, Black women must use chemical relaxers that must be redone every 4-6 weeks. If a Black women wears her hair "naturally" it grows in an afro--which grows "out" and not down and straight. I wear my hair naturally and it is about 15 inches. Because I have black hair, this grows out and it does not even come down my shoulders. Get a clue people.