Research shows that going to college makes you more liberal. Here's an article from Higher Ed on how college liberalizes evangelical Protestants.
Higher education has always been celebrated by some (and criticized by others) for exposing students to ideas that may conflict with those with which they were raised.
Scholars here at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association presented data suggesting that this shift in attitudes (a liberalizing one) applies to evangelical Protestants who either earn college degrees or live in areas with many college graduates.
Last week, Tim Challies posted an excerpt from an 18th-century Presbyterian pastor and I haven't been able to get it out of my head since.
The pastor, James Russell Miller, is writing a book "chiefly for the young." In other words, chiefly for you. This chapter is called "Beautiful Old Age" and encourages you and I to keep the end in mind as we live today:
Old age is the harvest of all the years that have gone before. It is the barn into which all the sheaves are gathered. It is the sea into which all the rills and rivers of life flow from their springs in the hills and valleys of youth and manhood. We are each, in all our earlier years, building the house in which we shall have to live when we grow old. And we may make it a prison or a palace. ...
... The important practical question is, How can we so live that our old age, when it comes, shall be beautiful and happy? It will not do to adjourn this question until the evening shadows are upon us. It will be too late then to consider it. Consciously or unconsciously, we are every day helping to settle the question whether our old age shall be sweet and peaceful or bitter and wretched. It is worth our while, then, to think a little how to make sure of a happy old age.
How can our old age be beautiful and happy? Miller answers that question by advising that we concentrate on living a useful life ("nothing good ever comes out of idleness or out of selfishness"), cultivating relationships ("we must seek to make to ourselves loyal and faithful friends in the busy hours that come before") and living a pure and holy life.
On that last point, Miller writes:
Sin may seem pleasant to us now, but we must not forget how it will appear when we get past it and turn to look back upon it; especially must we keep in mind how it will seem from a dying pillow. Nothing brings such pure peace and quiet joy at the close as a well-lived past. We are every day laying up the food on which we must feed in the closing years. We are hanging up pictures about the walls of our hearts that we shall have to look at when we sit in the shadows.
How important that we live pure and holy lives! Even forgiven sins will mar the peace of old age, for the ugly scars will remain.
Miller summarizes his advice to us:
Summing all up in one word, only Christ can make any life, young or old, truly beautiful or truly happy. Only He can cure the heart’s restless fever and give quietness and calmness. Only He can purify that sinful fountain within us, our corrupt nature, and make us holy. To have a peaceful and blessed ending to life, we must live it with Christ. Such a life grows brighter even to its close. Its last days are the sunniest and the sweetest. The more earth’s joys fail, the nearer and the more satisfying do the comforts become.
I've tried to follow (emphasis on the tried) C.S. Lewis' advice to read at least one old book for every three new ones to, as he put it, "correct the characteristic mistakes of our own period." So, as I was reading this I wondered: What characteristic mistake of our time does this illuminate?
And I wondered if it wouldn't be "carpe diem." Seize the day. Live in the now.
For sure, I shouldn't "worry about tomorrow." But I should remember that there is a tomorrow, if God wills, and that the decisions I make today will affect tomorrow. My sin, or selfishness or idleness might seem pleasant right now. But when I look at it with an eye toward eternity, I start to get a bitter taste in my mouth.
Challies' post is here. Though Challies doesn't reference the name of Miller's book, I believe it can be found here. (32 chapters! I better get reading!)
I find myself in another of those conversations about what philosophers and theologians call The Problem of Evil. Follow me for a moment as I tell you how I got into it.
It started last week, when I wrote a blog post about how God used the invention of ultrasound in ways the inventor couldn't have imagined. One reader (BAC) wrote to say this post was a timely inspiration at a crucial point in his/her life. I wrote back and said the timing was a great example of how God works in His own timing.
No controversy so far. We Christians talk this way all the time: It's as natural to us as breathing. But it sounds odd to non-Christian ears. Another reader (Jethro) asked: How do you know God was at work? And I said: Because God is always at work in the lives of His people. And he said:
Does that mean God is at work when a someone rapes a child or murders another human being? Is God at work when an abortion takes place?
I'm not being facetious, it's a genuine question.
I could give a short answer along these lines: Yes, God is at work. That doesn't mean God caused it, because it's a fallen world full of sinful human beings. It means He is there, working through it all, to bring consolation, forgiveness or both.
But a short answer won't do here: We're getting deeper into the problem of evil, and that's never a short conversation. It's also important enough that it calls for a fresh post so the rest of you can weigh in.
Boundless writers have talked about this subject a lot, but not for a while. So let's start by suggesting a few articles. Robert Rivera talks about it here. J. Budziszewski talks about it here and here and here.
Besides the question of evil itself, there's another question: Why do we ask? There's more than one possible motive, and we should examine ourselves to discover our own. Gary Thomas reminds us that God's not a defendant we can put on trial here. And J. Budziszewski considers how to talk to others about the issue here.
I'd like to hear not just your comments, but even more, your personal stories. Have you wrestled with why God allows evil in the world -- or in your own life? How have you come to terms with it -- if you've come to terms with it?
I live in the small town of Empangeni, in the eastern part of our beautiful country. It is close to the heart of the Zulu Kingdom, and right on the doorstep of many game reserves and nature attractions.
I have been reading Boundless for a few years, and have enjoyed the wealth of godly advice it offers. Keep up the great work!
This pic is of my husband and I at the beach in Mozambique (only a few hours up the coast).
In one of my recent Facebook stalks I read something that I think sums up one of the most dangerous American mentalities, a mentality that influenced two years of my educational decisions.
I try to spend all the time I have with my friends because that is what college is about.
I'll admit that it's probably tacky for me to quote an unsuspecting friend's About Me section. And I'll go a step further and admit that in my first semester of college you could have found the same mantra on my Facebook page. (If I'd had facebook back then that is. My college was so small that it wasn't available to us yet.)
I spent the first semester of my freshman year at a private Christian college. I was convinced that God was "leading" me there. Looking back, I'm pretty sure I just wanted the best experience possible and thought that particular school would provide it. Last week Suzanne said that nothing goes to waste in God's economy, and I believe that's true for my $10,000 semester. God used that time away from home to teach me about friendship, spiritual disciplines, and dependence on Him. But the promise* of a "priceless" experience was pretty pricy.
I'm troubled because most graduating seniors (and their parents) that I talk to prioritize the same thing I did when considering colleges: Which university is going to provide the overall best experience. And I would argue, and feel like someone at least 30 years my senior doing it, that college is not about "the experience." It's about the education.
Having said that, I also believe that college can be life-changing as far as experiences go. Sharing a room with a stranger, choosing new friends, keeping up with course work and possibly managing a job are all things that can be stretching and grow us to a new level of maturity. My friends who have not grown from their years in college are like the person unknowingly quoted above, wasting their time and resources funding an experience and delaying adulthood.
Earlier I specified that this was an "American mindset" and from my observation it largely is. My most academically responsible friends were international students. Some of them had to work very hard because of linguistic challenges, but most spoke better English than I did. The difference was that they saw college as a means to something else, not as an experience that's an end in itself.
I know a lot of our Boundless readers are in college and some are even just starting college so I want to assure you as someone who's just barely on the other side that there is life after the experience, and it is good. You don't have to "live it up" now. There's living to do after. Living, that can be all the better if set your educational goals wisely.
*My university did not make the T-shirt with said verbiage. It was designed by the freshman class representatives. And if I remember correctly, I was part of that planning meeting.
Today's Boundless Answers by Candice reminded me of an e-mail I received a few weeks ago. A guy friend of mine in another town told me one of his friends was starting a Bible study to encourage the women in their singles' group to put appropriate effort into their outward appearance. "Basically," he said, "my friend believes these girls aren't doing anything to dress attractively or take care of themselves -- essentially "look cute" for the guys they're hoping to attract."
The reader featured in today's column admits to a lifelong struggle with her weight and asks Candice if she can still hope to attract a husband. Candice's answer is insightful:
What's most important in our efforts to be beautiful is a godly perspective. The Bible says our hearts house our Lord; that our bodies are temples where the Holy Spirit dwells. It only makes sense that we do the best with what we've been given to keep them healthy and fit. It's a matter of stewardship.
I believe the healthy ideal is to eat foods in as close to their natural state as possible, to eat when you're hungry, to stop eating before you're full, and to incorporate movement into your lifestyle. The more liveable your fitness routine, the more likely you'll do it.
Like you, I've been up and down on the scale. And whether heavy or light, I feel best when I'm focusing on the people in my life, my relationship with God and the work He's called me to. If I never thought about food, weight, or body image again, that would be wonderful! It seems the women who do their best in these areas, then get on with life, are the most relaxed and delightful to be with. It's not just looks that attract men, but attitudes!
Certainly, if there are things a woman can do to look more feminine and take appropriate pride in her body, she should do them. Her attitude and demeanor may change just out of the sense of well-being and confidence she receives from exercising, putting on a little make-up or wearing attractive clothes that suit her body type.
But like Candice points out, ultimately beauty comes from within and all types of women attract husbands:
Getting married isn't about "looking good enough," it's about being fully who God made you to be. I pray that you will find your identity in your maker and be fully at rest in Him, trusting that His design for your body is good. May He strengthen you for the work of being a good steward, enable you to enjoy the fruits of those efforts and be at peace with the results.
I used to fall into the "is my appearance keeping me single" trap. [See "I Let Myself Go."] Once I started really trying to look my best and take care of myself, the confidence that came with that seemed to grab the attention of the guys around me. As Candice says, life is about "being fully who God created you to be." That is where true beauty can flourish.
I’ve become one of those people whose coffee order comes dangerously close to being a small novel. My newest order is the “Venti Iced Nonfat Half Chai Half Pumpkin Spice Latte.” Hey, one of the baristas recommended it recently and I have to say it’s actually really good.
It reminds me of a line from the movie You’ve Got Mail:
The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the [heck] they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self.
Now, there are two things that stick out to me about that quote. First of all, the days when Starbucks charged only 2.95 for anything other than a standard coffee are long gone. Second, sadly the older I get, the more truth this statement seems to take on.
As life goes on, it seems there’s more and more at stake with every decision. It used to be where a decision could easily come down to what I wanted to do. Then suddenly there were pros and cons. And now I find myself frequently paralyzed by the “what if’s” that come to mind.
When we’re younger, the decisions don’t seem so monumental. If things didn’t go the way we hoped, it always felt like there would be plenty of time to recover. Now I’m 28, and I realize that the major decisions I’m facing will drastically affect the rest of my life.
I was thinking about this other day when suddenly Matthew 6:34 came to mind. And for the first time, it really made sense to me.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I used to wonder why Jesus told us that. Surely there’s nothing wrong with thinking about the future is there?
But at this stage of life I interpret those words in a different way. Sometimes the big picture is so intimidating that it becomes difficult to even focus on today. And I think that's what Jesus was warning us about.
It's a reminder I'm having to keep in mind each day as I move forward in life. All I can do is commit the process to Him and make the best decision possible based on the guidance He gives me. It's not always easy, but tomorrow is in no better set of hands than His.
How are you approaching the major decisions you're facing? Do you find the unknown of the future is causing you to struggle in the present?
Wild always knew his work could save many lives: It's been widely used to detect tumors, for example. But when it first came along (late 1940s/early 1950s), no one could have guessed how many young lives it would save. No one even knew those lives would be in danger.
Ultrasound came to be known as the "Window to the Womb," letting us see the miracle of human life from its early stages. All the bloodless euphemisms of the "pro-choice" movement — "products of conception," "potential human" — have a way of melting in the face of the evidence of our eyes: It goes straight to our hearts, faster than the most solid pro-life arguments ever can.
How many lives have been saved directly by ultrasound, when mothers who'd considered abortion looked at their babies and knew they couldn't go through with it? How many have been saved indirectly, by hearts and minds moved by the images long before life-and-death decisions come up? We'll never know. Hundreds of thousands, surely. Millions, maybe. You? Someone you know? Someone you've met? Whatever the number, every one of them is precious to the Lord.
Newspaper obituaries give us no clue as what Wild thought about abortion. It scarcely matters: What matters is what God did through him.
So what can He do through you? A lot more than you imagine.
You'll have to indulge me as I talk about the event. Kevin and I got married on September 12, 2009. It was incredible. Totally worth waiting for. Totally a worship moment. (I will write more about this in a future post.)
As some of you know, I'm 31. Solidly past the average marrying age. I wanted to be married sooner, but the timing of my life and marriage were God's. And I'm extremely glad I waited ... and trusted. Yes, God brought a seemingly perfect match into my life (although some marriage advice we received from a kind Australian couple on our honeymoon was, "No couple is exactly a perfect fit. Some days I'm completely hopeless. Some days she's completely hopeless. Let the other be imperfect.") But the bigger blessing is the feeling that I did not miss out on what God had for me in the moment.
I already see how God is using my experiences as a single woman to contribute to my marriage and ministry with my husband. In God's economy, nothing goes to waste -- not painful seasons, not "back up" plans, not difficult obedience, not frustrating setbacks, not blind trust. And, yes, marriage is good. Right now I'm overflowing with love for my husband and a wonderful sense of anticipation for our new adventure together (as I should be!). However, as our premarital counselor made us solemnly state to one another: "You are going to be a lot of work!"
And that's the thing about life with God. He's faithful to lead us in every season. And He rewards our faithfulness to Him. Not only in good gifts but in those transcendent moments where our actions play into His bigger story and bring Him glory. Kevin and I have felt that through our courtship and marriage. And that's a big reason why I wouldn't change anything. The honeymoon may be over, but the new adventure has just begun. Live today with anticipation of great things!
To Retreat or Advance? -- 00:00 I'm a homebody. I like a night out with the girls or a ladies day at church, but an overnight retreat is not my idea of a good time. Maybe I met my lifetime retreat quota in youth group. I went on every weekend discipleship time and summer camp my church hosted. I lived for those times away with my friends and with the Lord. That was also a season of my life before I'd learned the discipline of daily "retreat."
And even though I have become consistent in the discipline of meeting/retreating with God in the mornings, I cycle through times of retreating out of duty and times of retreating for the purpose of communion and renewal. Retreating with the right purpose is essential because our souls do not reset or renew themselves the way our bodies do.
I recently had a series of mornings where I woke up just as troubled about a problem as I was when I went to sleep the night before. I had told myself as I climbed into bed that all I needed was a good night's rest. Apparently you can't just sleep off your problems the way you can fatigue. John Piper says it well:
The human heart does not replenish itself with sleep. The body does, but not the heart ... we replenish our hearts not with sleep, but with the Word of God and prayer.
This week on the roundtable Motte, Lisa, Steve and I talk about retreats. Some of us love them and some of us hate don't like them as much. We want to know what you think makes a great retreat.
Biblical Divorce and Remarriage -- 15:56 Some of our readers have expressed confusion and apprehension about dating someone who's divorced. How do you know if their divorce was biblical and if they're free to remarry? Some of our readers are divorced and wondering how to proceed in the dating scene. Dr. Dominic Aquila from New Geneva Theological Seminary joins Lisa to explain what God's Word has to say about divorce and remarriage. Stay tuned next week for this two-part interview.
Destined to Become a Nag? -- 33:10 They agree on most things pertaining to raising a family and ministry but when it comes to heath and finances she's worried they're too different. If she marries him will she become the nagging wife she never wanted to be? Candice addresses her concerns about the guy but also points this listener toward her own growth area: pride.
It's fall. The air is crisp. University towns are booming again. Classes have commenced. Football teams are almost past their puff schedules to the real teams. And the tables are probably up.
You know, the "Sign Up For a Credit Card and Get a Free (Pizza/T-shirt/iTunes card/whatever)" tables.
As regular as clockwork, it seems, VISA, Mastercard and Discover show up on college campuses, intent on starting coeds into their life of debt with their own particular card. And every year, some (though not all) fall for it: "Wow, I'll just take the free pizza and only use the card for emergencies."
Then, two months later, groceries become an emergency. Three months, clothes. Five months, pizza for the suitemates. And on it goes. (My own alma mater has found a unique way to discourage the tables.)
But that all stops this year. ""We're calling it the last open season on credit for college students," Gail Hillebrand, an attorney at Consumers Union, told USA Today.
That's because, according to the article:
Legislation signed into law in May will prohibit credit card companies from offering gifts to college students who agree to fill out a credit card application. The legislation also prohibits lenders from issuing credit cards to individuals younger than 21 unless they can prove they can afford payments or get a parent or other older individual to co-sign.
Up to now, the marketing seems to be working. In 2008, 84 percent of college students had credit cards (up from 78 percent in 2000) and a whopping half had four or more cards (up from 32 percent in 2000). Yeesh, what do you need four cards for?
The law's provisions don't take effect until February of next year. So, some consumer advocates fear that this fall will be the most aggressive marketing yet.
I'm a little ambivalent. One side of me says that we should educate college students (and high school and middle school students, too) and then let them make choices and deal with the consequences. But the other side says that yes, someone should have to prove that they have a self-produced income stream before being allowed to enter into the adult financial world.
In a sane world, a bank and/or credit card company would want collateral or a proven income track record before loaning money. But then, we haven't exactly been living in sane times lately. And I'm not sure if credit card companies are that concerned about college students getting into over-their-heads-debt. From the company's perspective, either momma and poppa will pay it off or the student can carry the debt into their income-earning years (with a nice, hefty amount of interest).
My wife wrote a blog post. So I don't have to. Thanks, wife.
* * *
I think my husband Ted has watched School of Rock one too many times.
As our resident musician, he's recently determined that it's his responsibility to educate our kids in music. While he has yet to put a drum set in the living room or enter our kids in a Battle of the Bands Contest, he has instituted a Music Appreciation class of sorts. We've listened to Stevie Wonder, Chicago, Rush, and more classical music than I care to list.
Yesterday marked Beatles Appreciation Day here. OK, so maybe not officially. But we did spend a good portion of our Wednesday listening to the Beatles.
Ted firmly believes that the Beatles are an essential part of any musical education. So in his quest to introduce our three young daughters to what he considers foundational, we've been ingesting the Fab Four.
So far the responses have been mixed.
While my 5-year-old was convinced that "Love Me Do" is perfect campfire music, my 1-year-old eagerly danced to the rock n' roll crafted decades before her birth. My 3-year-old was oblivious, despite her love for music. Although I did manage to draw a giggle from her when I grabbed her hand and sang along to "I Want to Hold Your Hand."
What have I personally discovered about the Beatles? I've learned that a song like "Eleanor Rigby" is haunting -- especially after reading a two-part article like George Haltizka's "Everett Bradley." This fictional account reminded me that lonely people exist in all seasons of life, whether in the form of an 84-year-old man named Everett, a middle-aged man named Tom, or a teenager named Stacy.
Have you ever felt lonely? I have.
I've wondered, as the Beatles ask of lonely people, Where do I belong? I have felt useless like Everett Bradley.
While I'm not eager to return to a season of loneliness, I am thankful for what it has taught me.
First, I shouldn't discount how God can use lonely seasons in my life to draw me closer to Him. Loneliness has driven me to a place of complete dependency, where I can't run to a friend in place of running to Him. How easy it is, when a problem arises, to call a friend and ask, "Can you pray for me?" before I've even bothered to stop and pray myself.
It's through these lonely seasons that I've remembered, I'm never truly alone. I have a wondrous Savior at my side, who has promised that He will never leave me or forsake me.
And second, it's made me more aware of the lonely people I come in contact with in daily life. Those who have just moved into the area or have yet to find their place in a community. I admit most of the time I fail to reach out to others; often I'm too distracted with my kids. But I want to improve. I want to do better.
Today we're listening to a CD titled 100 Best Ballet. The response from my girls is more united. Two out of three jumped at the opportunity to prance around the house dressed as ballerinas. The third? Well, she decided to dress as a rock star. Perhaps she gleaned more from the Beatles yesterday than merely "campfire music."
Do you have any Bibles you could share? Next week, the Bible Foundation is kicking off their October Bible Drive (that they've held annually since 1992).
According to their press release, "People around the world are begging for Bibles. Even damaged and parts of old Bibles have use and value."
When I first saw the notice, I wondered what language barriers the Bible Foundation might run into trying to recycle English Bibles. I was encouraged to read that English is used widely enough around the world that the foundation has been able to send Bibles to over 75 countries. Within those countries, the Bibles "go to hospitals, nursing homes, inner city churches & ministries, rescue missions, ship ministries, prisons & jails, homeless shelters, street ministries, ethnic neighborhoods, migrant camps, individual ministries, remote villages around the world, homes, schools, bus stations, railway stations, small churches, halls and open air meetings, and refugee camps."
We have Bibles to spare at our house. If you do as well and want to contribute one or more to this great cause, then visit http://www.bibledrive.org for more information, including a list of collection centers.
Yesterday, Muslims across the world ended their holy month of fasting called Ramadan, a time of practicing self-restraint in order to draw close to Allah. What's interesting this time around is that prominent Christians like emergent church founder Brian McLaren joined them.
To McLaren and his Christian and Muslim fasting partners, it's a neighborly gesture of solidarity that deepens their respective faiths and sends a message about finding peace and common ground. ...
In announcing his Ramadan fast plans on his blog last month, McLaren wrote, "We are not doing so in order to become Muslims: we are deeply committed Christians. But as Christians, we want to come close to our Muslim neighbors and to share this important part of life with them." The goal is to join Muslims in the observance as "a God-honoring expression of peace, fellowship and neighborliness," he wrote.
So is fasting alongside Muslims who're doing it as an act of worship to Allah the, um, Christian thing to do? Or is it distinctly un-Christian?
More from USA Today:
Albert Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, said the idea of Christians fasting at Ramadan appears at first to be neighborly solidarity, but it's more than that.
"The logic of Islam is obedience and submission," Mohler said. "It's by following these practices that a Muslim demonstrates his obedience to the rule of the law through the Quran. For a Christian to do the same automatically implies a submission to the same rule. And beyond that, it's an explicit affirmation that this is a good and holy thing. From a New Testament perspective, it is not a good and holy thing."
Christians should have friendships with people of other faith, but engaging in other traditions' worship practices is problematic, said Mark Driscoll, lead preaching pastor at Mars Hill Church in Seattle. Driscoll said that in this case, Christians and Muslims fast for different purposes and do not worship the same God.
Christians observing a Ramadan fast is "insane at best ... Sad, tragic, horrific, misguided, dangerous, wrong," Driscoll said. "If Christians want to pray during Ramadan, they should pray not with Muslims but for Muslims — that Muslims would come to know Jesus. To pray with Muslims absolutely dishonors Jesus."
What Dr. Mohler and Mark Driscoll are saying is that religious practices mean something. Can you imagine a Muslim partaking of the Lord's supper for "neighborly solidarity"? No, it would be an abomination. Is Christians observing Ramadan much different?
... John T. Elson is. He's the religion reporter whose 1966 story in Time magazine — with an Easter season cover provocatively asking "Is God Dead?" — spiked sales and brought in unprecedented thousands of letters, mostly from Christians who felt their faith had been attacked.
It wasn't Elson's fault. The sensational cover notwithstanding, the actual story neither declared God's death nor challenged His existence. Rather, Elson (a practicing Catholic) wrote about a crisis of faith within society, including the church, which was dealing with "radical theologians" whom he termed, ironically, "Christian atheists." Far from attacking the church, he was warning the church: "The Christian atheists are waking the churches to the brutal reality that the basic premise of faith — the existence of a personal God, who created the world and sustains it with his love — is now subject to profound attack."
I'd heard about the piece but I'd never read it till just now. And I have to say, it's excellent. Elson was thoroughly versed in his subject. He talked to a wide range of sources. And he brought a host of insights which can equip Christians as we wrestle with a world where men seek false gods to replace the true Lord. For example:
Anglican Theologian David Jenkins points out that the prestige of science is so great that its standards have seeped into other areas of life; in effect, knowledge has become that which can be known by scientific study — and what cannot be known that way somehow seems uninteresting, unreal.
Not only is the story insightful, it's even, at points, surprisingly inspiring. Its closing line should leave no doubt of the author's sympathies:
Perhaps today, the Christian can do no better than echo the prayer of the worried father who pleaded with Christ to heal his spirit-possessed son: "I believe; help my unbelief."
Give the story a read if you've got a few minutes: In many ways, it's as relevant today as it was 43 years ago. If all religion reporting were on this level, believers would have no reason to complain.
I can't tell you how many books I've bought that I've never read. Put it this way: It's enough to make me feel guilty about buying any new ones. So it's rare that I actually read a book twice, let alone more than that.
Ah, but The Screwtape Letters -- now that's an exception. I must've read it half a dozen times. C.S. Lewis' tale of senior devil Screwtape's lessons in temptation to his nephew Wormwood changed my life. It awakened me to all kinds of ways Satan finds to make me stumble: Thirty years after I first read it, I still find myself starting to fall into one of those traps, then recognizing it, stepping back, smiling and saying "Nice try, Wormwood."
So when Ashley asked who wanted to promote the new Screwtape Letters audio drama from Focus on the Family, I stuck my hand up and said "Me! Me! Me!" Or words to that effect.
The broadcast won't be out for a few weeks yet, but check out a preview right now and see how much fun the Focus radio theater team had putting this together. Notice, BTW, that the actor playing Screwtape (Andy Serkis) is the same one who played Gollum in the Lord of the Rings movies.
This team always does top-notch work. See for yourself, and let's get a good buzz going.
I am from beautiful Fayetteville, North Carolina and I have the pleasure of being a part of a wonderful church family where God is moving in each service.
I listen weekly to the podcasts as I am cleaning the sanctuary and often find myself laughing and commenting aloud with you on the podcasts. The blogs are always insightful and thought-provoking and help minister to me as a 20-something single preparing for marriage and life ahead.
I love passing on the wealth of wisdom from Boundless Crew, so thanks Ted and Lisa and the rest of the Boundless Crew at Focus. Keep up the amazing work for the Kingdom! Stop by next time you’re in NC and say hello!
TV's New Season -- 00:00 This week Motte, Steve, Lisa and I are talking about the Fall TV season. I might have mentioned before that I don't own a TV. I don't think this makes me more intelligent or more spiritual than you. I don't have a TV in my apartment for the same reason I don't keep ice cream in the fridge: lack of self-control.
I know that when I'm bored or lonely I gravitate toward things that are easy and will let me shut my brain off. Usually food or television. And that kind of eating or watching leaves me feeling guilty and gross.
I still watch movies and TV reruns on my laptop but it's more intentional than how I used to watch TV. My laptop screen isn't very big and the speakers are hard to hear over the air-conditioning unit. There are other drawbacks like limited episode selection on websites such as Hulu and not being able to have groups over to watch season premieres (only two people can reasonably watch a computer screen) but it's a worthwhile tradeoff for me.
Another alternative that seems to work is what Motte and Steve do. Their TVs are not located in the main living area of their homes. So like me, they have to be intentional about watching TV since their TV isn't in the space where they do most of their living. Are there other ways you've found to keep TV in your life but keep your life from being oriented around it?
George W. -- 17:20 The foremost George W. Bush impersonator John Morgan joins Lisa for this week's culture segment. In his 20s he had a music ministry and a dream of being a musical evangelist. He says he had to lay that dream down because at the time he didn't have the character needed for such a dream. I've replayed that short statement over and over this morning. Maybe this is really profound to me because I'm simple-minded, but I've been humbled thinking about my youth and inexperience and how much I need God to develop my character.
You probably think an interview with a presidential impersonator will be politically charged; it's charged all right, but with John's love for the gospel of Christ. Whatever your feelings on W., you will not want to miss this week's culture!
Intentional E-mail -- 45:40 I get e-mails from time to time asking us to address the long-distance dynamic. This listener is a missionary overseas. She's e-mailing back and forth with a man her friend says is perfect for her. It will be a year until she comes back home and wants to know how she should proceed with this e-mail thread in the meantime. Candice and Lisa dish out some encouragements and cautions.
Zucchini is a fine little veggie to cut up and fry in butter or EVOO, with a bit of onion and maybe a dash of salt and chardonnay. And it can be cheap, since it grows so well.
If you're going to fry it up, maybe go with a "smaller" zucchini -- something that's only 8 inches long. If you're wanting to make zucchini bread, so I'm told, you can go with something larger.
Larger? Yeah, like the 2-foot-long beast I picked from my garden last night:
My secret for getting pumpkin-sized zucchinis? Bat guano, dry molasses, some sprays of orange oil and sprinklings of diatomaceous earth to get rid of the bugs, regular waterings, good sunlight ... and lots of love.
I am here in Western Massachusetts, wishing I were back in St. Petersburg, Russia where this photo was taken. In the picture you can see the typical small kitchen with the table doubling as a countertop. I am helping a friend’s children make pirozhki.
I’ve been a missionary in St. Petersburg for the past five years, since I graduated from college. Visa restrictions have gotten worse in the past few years, so I am home for the summer getting a new visa. This time I am going to take some classes, which will allow me to be there year-round, yet reduce my daily availability for ministry to orphans and others in need. I also do a lot of teaching ESL. I suppose the university will become another field for ministry as I take classes. People always want to know why an American has stuck around so long, although I am as content as I can be, living where God has called me. The next step is temporary residency, if I can get through all the red-tape.
I have a blog chronicling my adventures in St. Petersburg. I enjoy keeping up with Boundless while I’m over there, although I wish there were more posts about Missions.
The Obama administration has privately concluded that a cap and trade law would cost American taxpayers up to $200 billion a year, the equivalent of hiking personal income taxes by about 15 percent.
This information was not released freely by the White House, but was gathered through a Freedom of Information Act request.
This Cap and Trade bill, also known as Markey-Waxman, was purportedly created to combat alleged man-caused global warming. The thing is, even if it does go into effect, it will only affect temperatures by 0.05 degrees (Celsius) over the next 40 years.
This is one reason I keep blogging about global warming and its opportunistic alarmists: The ideas behind it have real consequences for each of us. Proposed global warming policies won't enrich the air you breathe; they'll only make you poorer.
The politicians pushing for this cap and tax bill don't care about that 0.05 degree change in global temperatures. They are simply using that as a smokescreen. What these bureaucrats really want is more control, and more of our hard-earned money.
If you've been around Boundless any length of time, you know that we try to take seriously the difficulties of those who experience same-sex attraction.
Something Gary Thomas wrote in today's featured Boundless article, "Sexual Compassion," gave me fresh insight into this painful struggle the first time I read it. Gary was talking with one of his friends, a guy named Mark who, though he was a Christian, still wrestled with his sexual orientation.
As we shared our individual struggles, one reality became painfully clear. My desire for sexual purity would soon be aided by God's best remedy: I was about a year away from marrying my wife. Mark knew he might never be able to marry; his struggle for sexual purity could mean abstinence for his entire adult life.
That's heavy, isn't it? Gary goes on, reiterating that while we must speak the truth about sexual purity, we must do so in love:
We feel for the young man who is drawn sexually to other men, but that doesn't mean we serve him by pretending God accepts same-sex expression. We will pray for his healing, we will walk with him as he allows God to heal his sexual nature, we will try to create a community of healthy, God-honoring relationships, but we must not, we cannot, endorse same-sex activity.
He continues:
Yet through it all we must avoid proclaiming the prohibitions as if we don't care. It is wrong not to care. It is less than Christian to be hard-hearted toward a brother or sister in a difficult state of sexual frustration.
How cold we must seem sometimes when we act as if sexual purity is not that big of a deal. The sexual drive is a major deal, and as one who has been sexually active in marriage for over two decades, I have no right to dismiss the very painful struggle behind God's command for those in frustrating circumstances who can't at the moment express or enjoy themselves sexually.
It can be difficult to balance an empathy toward those in sexually difficult situations with the knowledge that I should encourage faithful obedience to the Lord's will. It'd be easy, and be less confrontative, to merely affirm an unbiblical sexual desire. But I can't: I must speak the truth ... from a heart of love.
If you're interested in building an informed compassion for those who deal with same-sex attraction, check out the following Boundless articles:
Actually, maybe. It's tempting to speculate on the individual cases. But let's not. Let's focus on the big picture.
I gotta say, I hate these ritual public apologies. I know, on one level, that they're necessary. Public sins call for public apologies: A society that doesn't require them is a shameless society. But I still hate them, for a couple of reasons.
(1) They generate so much cynicism. We all know that these people all have to apologize, or else. Even the really sincere, tearful kind can't be trusted, because we know we're listening to someone who must work hard to be seen as sorry. Maybe he really is. But how do we know?
(2) They invite us to spend time dwelling on other people's sins and judging the sincerity of other people's repentance. It's a captivating spectacle, and we have a hard time tearing ourselves away even if we try. Often we don't try very hard.
I've come to think the way to look at these things -- both the scandals and apologies -- is to try, very hard, not to look at them.
In some cases, maybe you can't look away completely: Voters have to weigh who to support, parents have to weigh who their kids can watch. Even then, don't dwell on celebrity sins or repentance more than you have to. You've got enough sins of your own to repent for every day. I sure do.
Every single day, men fall in love with women who wear their hair short.
"Longer hair" is a pretty loose term -- it does not require flowing tresses that extend more than halfway down a woman's back. Suffice it to say that if most of a girl's neck is exposed, she probably has what I would consider short hair.
Because I'm still anticipating a somewhat hostile response, here are a few more caveats:
Hair length on women has absolutely nothing to do with character and/or spirituality. Yes, there are a few Bible verses related to a woman's hair, but I have never seen a credible argument that longer hair is evidence of greater Christian maturity.
If a guy is attracted to or is already in a relationship with a girl and she decides to cut her hair short, the guy rarely stops liking her based on this act alone. (If he does, he's probably pretty shallow anyway.)
This preference typically begins to diminish with age. Younger men tend to prefer younger women who have longer hair, yet the closer one gets to retirement, the less hair length tends to matter.
During our several years of marriage, my wife has worn her hair both longer and shorter. My love for her has never changed, but I will admit that given the choice, I find her hair -- not her -- more attractive when it's not too short.
So, why am I talking about this? Is hair length really that important?
No, it's not; certainly not in the grand scheme of life and faith. But it's my experience that Boundless readers are genuinely interested in how and what the opposite sex thinks. And for all the women (including many Boundless readers) who devote time and attention to exercise, nutrition, clothing and makeup -- and there's certainly nothing wrong with those things as long as they are practiced in moderation -- they rarely consider something as simple as hair length.
But if most guys don't like short hair on women, then why do so many women cut their hair short? I can't say for sure, but I have a few ideas. Some women simply don't want to bother with caring for long hair. Others get bored with their hairstyle after a while and long for a change, any change. Still others see a short haircut they like on some other woman and decide to try it for themselves.
Have you ever noticed the reaction to this? When the newly shorn girl first appears at school or at work, other women tend to gather round and compliment her, usually telling her how cute she looks with her new "do." The men, meanwhile, usually look up only long enough to remark: "Sure, looks nice." Or they simply smile and say nothing. To be brutally honest, some guys barely even notice.
The point is that women with short haircuts are affirmed almost exclusively by ... other women. Ask their husbands or boyfriends, and most will admit -- though rarely to the woman's face -- that they kinda liked it better when her hair wasn't so short.
Let me quote a relationship columnist far more knowledgeable than myself -- one Candice Watters, author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen:
Of course, this concept pertains to men, too. A guy who sports a two-foot-long beard or is covered in tattoos certainly might appeal to some women, but probably not the majority of the female population.
Now before I get hammered by critics who insist that what's on the "inside" matters far more than mere appearances, let me say that I agree. Wholeheartedly. Yet let me quote once more from Candice's column on physical appearance: "The kind of man a Godly woman should want to marry would esteem a woman who strives to be lovely, both inside and out."
But what do Boundless readers think? Am I all wrong? Do male readers actually prefer it when their wives or girlfriends go "short and sassy"? At the same time, are there things guys can do to change their appearance that women generally prefer? (For example, I shaved off my goatee several years ago when I noticed similar facial hair on just about every mechanic and Chili's waiter in town, but maybe that's just me.)
Then again, it is only hair. Just because God has every one of them numbered doesn't mean they can't be short.
I'm am from a small country, Estonia. I belive that many of you do not know where it is -- it's between Finland and Latvia and on our eastborder we have Russia. So now you may have a better picture. =)
It's a small county and I am living in Tartu (Tallinn is the capital and then the largest second city is Tartu). It's full with young people, cause it's the city of University. The people here are really nice and friendly. They say our hearts are like stones, but i do not believe it. It's just that we do keep things to ourselves and we do not have this overflowing temperament. BUT we do love each other and we really stick together.
We haven't had an easy journey to where we are at this moment. We have our own language and country, but before that we were under Soviet Union and those times were really hard. I thank God that they are over and I pray that it will never come back again. People do not belive in God that much over here. I belive that it's becaouse of the hard history and that our (grand) grandparents could not see God in the middle of the hard times, so now-a-days young people are not that much into religion.
I can see that there is much work to do and I hope that there are some other young people from Estonia who are reading Boundless like I am cause it is GOOD and really useful in evey way! So I really want to thank you for the work you are doing!
Since Boundless has become a trusted source of information on the latest science regarding global warming, I thought it prudent to report on a development that's akin to President Obama giving a speech saying Roe v. Wade must be overturned. Because as Canada's National Post puts it, "When a leading proponent for one point of view suddenly starts batting for the other side, it's usually newsworthy."
More from the article "Global Warming Takes a Break" asking why a leading climate expert predicting a cooling trend has been ignored:
So why was a speech last week by Mojib Latif of Germany's Leibniz Institute not given more prominence?
Prof. Latif is one of the leading climate modelers in the world. He is the recipient of several international climate-study prizes and a lead author for the United Nations' Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). He has contributed significantly to the IPCC's last two five-year reports that have stated unequivocally that man-made greenhouse emissions are causing the planet to warm dangerously.
Yet last week in Geneva, at the UN's World Climate Conference -- an annual gathering of the so-called "scientific consensus" on man-made climate change -- Prof. Latif conceded the Earth has not warmed for nearly a decade and that we are likely entering "one or even two decades during which temperatures cool."
Latif said this cooling trend could last up to 20 years. But you alarmists shouldn't think we're headed for an ice age. Because Latif expects that warming trends will begin again around the year 2030.
Hmm. Warming followed by cooling followed by warming. Maybe it's cyclical.
At least there's one climate expert willing to take an objective look at the science and make appropriate concessions. I wonder if others will follow.
Bob Kauflin, Boundless author and Director of Worship Development for Sovereign Grace Ministries, has been leading corporate worship for over 30 years. And he's never been more passionate about the cross of Christ.
In his most recent blog post, "Lessons Learned From Three Decades of Leading," Bob writes about "why the cross should play such a central role in our singing." He then goes on to reference his friend CJ Mahaney's thoughts on cross-centered worship. CJ give four reasons why "Cross-centered worship songs are vital to the life of the church":
First, since the cross is the storyline of Scripture, it should be the storyline of our corporate worship.
Second, we must never leave the impression during corporate worship that we do not need a mediator.
Third, cross-centered songs imitate the heavenly model.
There is no greater mystery, nothing that inspires more wonder, than the crucifixion of our Lord. It was the greatest act of both love and hate ever portrayed. It's a manifestation of both the stratospheric height of God's mercy and the grimy depth of our sin.
Paul boasted in but one thing: the cross. The hosts of heaven include Jesus' death in their continuous expression of praise, day and night. My sin, as the old hymn goes, not in part but the whole, is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more. We are reconciled to God through the cross of Christ.
You could ponder the cross for a lifetime and never fully explore its depth and significance. It's both simple and complex. It's seen as both foolishness and the pinnacle of wisdom. It illustrates both divine compassion and divine wrath. Christ the all-powerful was crucified in weakness. It's both glorious and shameful. It shows us both God's fierce anger and His lovingkindness.
So if the cross is central to our faith, and will be throughout eternity, why is it so little referenced in the songs we sing at church?
Why, indeed?
If you're a worship leader, I implore you: Please seek out songs about the cross of Christ for your congregation to sing. If you're not a worship leader, please consider sharing this blog post on Facebook, or directly with your pastor. I'd love to see a broader discussion of the relevance of the cross in congregational singing.
I've been editor of Boundless for over four years now, immersed in issues relevant to young adults.
Since editing and publishing my first Boundless article in 2005, I've wrestled with those who label us "marriage mandaters," as though we command all single adults to get married now. And I've wrestled with those who think we're too lax in encouraging intentionality toward relationships, who criticize us for affirming those who are unmarried.
Say that marriage is "normative," and many singles feel wounded at the perception that something might be "wrong" with them. Say that singleness is a blessed state, preferred by Paul for believers (1 Corinthians 7), and one may seem to diminish the value of marriage (while possibly giving some singles unwarranted encouragement to stay in neutral).
What we need is balance. The truth is that some get married, and some don't. The Lord wills that many eventually marry, and that a number remain unmarried. Both can honor Him in their choices, in the differing ways they serve, pursuing His will in His timing.
Yes, the desire to marry can be too strong. It can also be too weak. And some are blessed to pursue a life of service free from the responsibilities of marriage. Alex explores these issues and more in his latest Boundless article. I'd be interested in hearing how what he writes resonates with you; what did you find helpful, and what could he have done a better job with?
I took a few photos at Suzanne and Kevin's beautiful wedding this afternoon, which the happy couple have allowed me to share with you. A picture is worth a thousand words, so I'll let you read 2,000 of 'em.
I typically go go go seven days a week. Sure, I'm not in the office on Saturday or Sunday, but I do publish blog comments or check my e-mail or work on a freelance project. Too few days in my month would I call "restful."
A couple of days ago we published an article by Elisabeth Adams, "Heart at Leisure," in which she explores the Sabbath. Here's a part from the middle:
The Bible says, "Six days you shall labor and do all your work." I know what my work is. That's what I'm supposed to stop.
But it's not just stopping -- it's stopping in order to.
In order to debrief and defrag from the busy week. In order to remember who I am, and who my Master is. (Not money. Not man. And not myself, thank God.) I stop in order to focus on the Center of my world. Reset my clock by atomic time. Reorient my compass to true north. Renew my mind, lest the insistent world squeeze me into its mold.
And be refreshed. After my Creator completed His work and saw that it was very good, He stopped. And in that pause, the Hebrew tells us, He was refreshed as if by a breath of air.
Later, Elisabeth confesses her personal struggle with rest, Sabbath or otherwise.
Often when it comes right down to it, I don't want quiet; I want distraction. I don't want to be awakened; I want to be amused. I don't want to address my needs; I want to drown them out. God wants me to savor time; I want to spend it, fill it, and even kill it.
At other times, I'm longing for Sabbath, but I can't seem to get inside it when it comes. My mind won't quit racing, my heart won't cease aching, and I'm completely unable to stop.
Yeah, I too am longing for Sabbath. Not distraction or amusement, but quiet and invigorating rest. Maybe I can squeeze that in this weekend.
Everywhere, without exception, I have been told that when it comes to love, men are interested in sex and women are interested in romance. That men are visual and women relational. That is the more balanced view found in various books.
The view that I hear from the people all around me is that men are lust-driven beasts interested only in women's bodies, and women are pure-minded and are interested in forging interpersonal connections and building intimate attachments.
Whew. I read on.
Girls will continually have to be wary around you because "they know what you're thinking." As such, they also have to be so very careful to keep you from stumbling. Oh, and as a side note, God has taken pity on you and said you are allowed to let a little steam off in marriage....
If my attitude sounds bad here, it's because this hurts. A lot. On many occasions, I have had it said to my face, "Yeah, well you're a guy and everyone knows that guys are perverts" or variations on that thought.
This young man's frustrations with these ridiculous cliches, I thought, are legitimate. Then came the questions:
I want a wife. I want a wife who also wants me. Is this wrong? Weird? Naive? ...
AM I just a lust driven beast? If so, I don't want to inflict myself upon some girl. Am I right, and these stereotypes wrong? I'm hoping so. If they ARE true ... should I despair? Should I stop praying that God would give me a wife, and start praying for the gift of celibacy?
I forwarded the e-mail, which a young man had sent to us at editor@boundless.org, along to John Thomas. This past Monday, we published his reply.
One good thing about the debates over who should control our decisions about health care and insurance is that abortion is back in the news, creating fresh opportunities to revisit our national conscience. Dinesh D'Souza does just that in Wednesday's Christianity Today. He asks in "Sex, Lies and Abortion,"
Why then, in the face of its bad arguments, does the pro-choice movement continue to prevail legally and politically?
He answers his own question:
I think it's because abortion is the debris of the sexual revolution. We have seen a great shift in the sexual mores of Americans in the past half-century. Today a widespread social understanding persists that if there is going to be sex outside marriage, there will be a considerable number of unwanted pregnancies. Abortion is viewed as a necessary clean-up solution to this social reality.
And offers this insight:
In order to have a sexual revolution, women must have the same sexual autonomy as men. But the laws of biology contradict this ideology, so feminists who have championed the sexual revolution—Simone de Beauvoir, Gloria Steinem, Shulamith Firestone, among others—have found it necessary to denounce pregnancy as an invasion of the female body. The fetus becomes, in Firestone's phrase, an "uninvited guest." As long as the fetus occupies the mother's womb, these activists argue, the mother should be able to keep it or get rid of it at her discretion.
What, then, is the solution. D'Souza urges a change of tactic. One that likely won't go over well in our current climate of hyper-sexualized individualism adrift from any moral ought:
... pro-life arguments are not likely to succeed by simply continuing to stress the humanity of the fetus. The opposition already knows this, as probably do most women who have an abortion. Rather, the pro-life movement must take into account the larger cultural context of the sexual revolution that invisibly but surely sustains the triumphant advocates of abortion.
It won't be easy, but somehow the case against abortion must include a case against sexual libertinism. It is time to return to the drawing board.
As believers, when it comes to sexual purity, if only for the sake of our fellow unborn brothers and sisters in Christ, we should be leading the way.
In today's wars, there are no morals. We believe the worst thieves in the world today and the worst terrorists are the Americans. We do not have to differentiate between military or civilian. As far as we are concerned, they are all targets. -- Osama bin Laden
Just after the 9/11 terrorists attacks which killed almost 3,000 civilians, Time magazine referred to Osama bin Laden as the most wanted man in the world. Eight years later, he still is. And it's why there's a group of about 100 active and retired CIA agents in the Pakistani border region right now trying to hunt him down and kill him.
Here's a Times Online article from yesterday on why it's been so difficult to find bin Laden:
There has not been one credible lead on bin Laden in years. His nickname among some CIA hunters is Elvis because of all the bogus and fanciful sightings. The CIA has been successful in killing many of the senior al-Qaeda over the years but bin Laden and his deputy, Ayman al-Zawahiri, are different cases.
[Active CIA Agent Art] Keller believes bin Laden moves from village to village in Waziristan. He communicates perhaps just once a month, and by courier. He never uses a telephone. Mr. Keller believes that bin Laden arrives in each village with a small group of bodyguards, when he will sit and talk to the local tribal leader. A large bribe is paid.
Bin Laden is then the guest of the village, where under Pashtun custom, he must be protected. The main obstacle in finding him, Mr. Keller says, is that even if someone wanted to betray him — and collect the $25 million (£15 million) reward — there is no one to turn to. The local police know bin Laden is there. "If you report bin Laden’s location there is a good chance you will get killed," Mr Keller says.
"People in a position to give information can’t get it to anyone." Morale is still good among the hunters, he says, because many top al-Qaeda officials have been killed. So will bin Laden be caught? Mr. Keller lets out a deep breath. "I don’t know."
I'm thankful for men like Agent Keller who live far from the comforts of home in prison-like conditions to kill or catch the man who wants to kill me, my family, and my friends. And on this Patriot Day, I will remember to pray for the safety and success of the men hunting bin Laden.
Hosts Bob Waliszewski and Cheryl Wilhelmi discuss the top movies this week, including Tim Burton's "9," the murder-mystery chiller "Whiteout," and the new-to-DVD "Henry Poole Is Here."
A few days ago, a couple unusual things happened. Not strange things, mind you, just not the typical order of events.
First, I woke up before everyone else in the house.
Second, a few minutes later I turned to see that someone else had risen before the crack of 10. But it wasn't my little girl -- typically our earliest riser -- or my wife. It was my middle child, Jack, a champion sleep-in-late-whenever-possible kind of guy now that he's 12 and is allowed to set his own bedtime. (Only on non-school nights, of course, and only within reason.)
Since everyone else is still asleep, I have an inspiration. I decide to take Jack to the nearest coffee shop, just the two of us, for a refreshing morning beverage and some quality father-son time.
Now, I can already guess that some of you reading this are smirking as I try to pass off this moment of self-gratification as some sort of benevolent act. Verily, I speak the truth; despite my years as a hard-bitten journalist, I somehow never acquired the caffeine habit. My son, however, rather enjoys the occasional Java Chip Frappuccino, so my spur-of-the-moment invitation seemed like a good way to invest in our relationship while getting both of us out of the house while the rest of the family slept.
Plus my coworkers gave me the proverbial giftcard for my birthday, and I had to spend it sometime.
So here we are, just the two of us, sucking down cold coffee drinks and discussing important matters like whether it would be warmer inside or out on the patio. That's when Jack asks me if I just heard what the barista said. No, I reply, I wasn't paying attention. What did he say?
Turns out the barista was talking to a customer, or perhaps a coworker (I wasn't looking), about his wife. That's when I have a hunch, more like a gut feeling, and I approach this guy in the green apron like any stranger would.
"Hi, my son just mentioned that you were talking about you wife. Did I hear correctly that you said she works for a local ministry?"
"Yes," replies this tall young man, who probably looks slightly older than he really is. "She's an editor for a children's magazine."
(At this very moment, I can practically see the light bulbs appearing over the heads of loyal Boundless readers.)
That's when the man acknowledged that she wasn't actually his wife, not yet, but would be in about a week. He didn't say her name, but he didn't have to. I already knew. (Any doubt was eliminated when he mentioned his name, Kevin, and pointed to the nearby counter: "We met right over there.")
To be honest, I never knew that Suzanne lived anywhere near my house. And since I rarely frequent coffee shops, I'm not surprised that I'd never seen her in this one. But I can report with mild confidence based on our 90-second conversation that Kevin seems like a fine, upstanding member of society, and a skilled preparer of somewhat-overpriced caffeinated beverages.
And yes, he seems very mature for his age. Congratulations and best wishes to both of you.
For those who care, my son and I had a great time that morning. We took our chances out on the patio, where it was indeed warmer, and proceeded to talk about what's important in a relationship between a guy and a girl. Of course, since my son is only 12, this particular conversation didn't last too long.
Looks like I've got a few more years to prepare him for an unscheduled meeting with his future spouse in a coffee bar.
A few days ago, someone asked why we don't talk about praying for Osama bin Laden. It was a well-timed question, because I talked about just that (among other things) in a column shortly after 9/11. Today is a fitting time to revisit that column.
My memories of 9/11 are especially vivid because my sister lives and works in New York, and for a few terrible minutes that day I didn't know what had happened to her. She was safe, but it wasn't hard to imagine how I would have felt if she hadn't been.
In the next couple weeks I thought a lot about what "forgiving our enemies" means. The question had always seemed somewhat abstract up until then: I'd never really had an enemy to forgive. Now I had to think about it. Which, in turn, moved me to write about it.
I drew heavily on the thoughts of C.S. Lewis, who does a tremendous job of exploring how (and why) we're told to forgive — what that means, and what it doesn't mean.
It doesn't mean becoming pacifists or letting crimes go unpunished: Far from it. It does mean praying for enemies and wanting the best for them — what's really best for them. "We may kill if necessary," Lewis writes, "but we must not hate and enjoy hating." And face it, we can enjoy hating. Says Lewis:
The real test is this. Suppose one reads a story of filthy atrocities in the paper. Then suppose that something turns up suggesting that the story may be not quite true, or not quite so bad as it was made out. Is one’s first feeling, "Thank God, even they aren’t quite so bad as that," or is it a feeling of disappointment, and even a determination to cling to the first story for the sheer pleasure of thinking your enemies as bad as possible? If it is the second then it is, I am afraid, the first step in a process which, if followed to the end, will make us into devils. You see, one is beginning to wish that black was a little blacker.
I won't recap all of Lewis' words here, but I first read them nearly 30 years ago and they made a lasting impact on me. Maybe they'll make an impact on you too. Read for yourself.
Woe is my Car -- 00:00 I've never had a flat tire, never changed my own oil and to be honest these days I don't even fill up my own gas tank. I like that my car gets me to church on Sunday, work on Tuesday, and the grocery store when we run out of coffee beans but beyond insert key, turn, drive I know nothing about how my car works.
So Tuesday when I had smoking, oil smelling car issues I had no idea what do ... except for cry. After a teary moment I summoned my inner mechanic, walked across the street to the car parts store and asked for an oil cap and a gallon of synthetic oil and returned to perform my first ever act of car maintenance. Apparently, I'm a natural with a grease rag because I didn't get a single smudge on my Ann Taylor clearance rack dress.
This week Motte, Lisa, Steve, and I are joined by Boundless listener Emma to talk about our car woes. You might remember Emma from her WAY a while back. It was a blast to have one of our New Zealand listeners in the studio with us. If you're ever passing through, let us know. We'd love to see you too!
Phil Stacey -- 16:11 American Idol contestant and singer song-writer Phil Stacey talks to Lisa about his American Idol experience, his new album and the Lordship of Christ in his life. He shares some interesting insider info about American Idol that you won't want to miss.
Spiritual Leadership in Dating -- 38:58
In a dating relationship, what does spiritual leadership look like? I know it can't be as simple as leading one devotion a week or praying before meals. Can you judge the quality of the man's spiritual leadership based on the woman's spiritual growth? If the man is a good spiritual leader, whatever that means, then the woman should grow accordingly, right?
Motte and Steve help our listener figure out what it means to lead spiritually in a dating relationship for this week's inbox.
So I was reading an e-newsletter I just received from my second-favorite ministry, and came across a link to an article by Sam Rainer identifying 10 things you're probably looking for in young adult ministry:
They desire integrity among leaders
They look for transparency in leaders
They want leaders to be mentors
They crave opportunities from leaders
They need leaders to shoot straight
They are attracted to team leadership
They want to be corrected by leaders
They seek examples in leadership
They need to hear a message of forgiveness from leaders
OK, right off the bat I have to confess that I feel uncomfortable with the title of the piece: "10 Things to Know about Leading Young Adults." It kind of has the patronizing sense that adults, though "young," need to be led around like cattle. I know that's not Sam's intention; maybe I'm just super-sensitive and/or insecure about my own leadership abilities. Here's my thought, though: If Christian leadership is "servant leadership," then it might have been better to include the word "serving" in the title, as I have in my title. Hm. Or maybe "Equipping" or something else. Blame the editor in me for my getting all uptight over this one word.
Besides the clumsy title, though, I think this list is helpful. You're looking for people who are vulnerable, who speak as mentors rather than experts, who practice what they preach, who respect you and listen to you. Is that fairly accurate? What else would you add to this list?
When I moved to Colorado five years ago, I was certain I had tied up all the loose ends ... until I got a collections notice in the mail about an unpaid power bill. It's an oversight that haunts me to this day when I try to get any kind of loan. Despite my exemplary record otherwise, my credit score was tainted just enough to warrant slightly higher rates and slightly lower credit limits.
It seems unfair that one infraction would cancel out 15 years of on-time payments and not carrying balances on credit cards. But according to Karen Blumenthal from the Wall Street Journal, it's just how the credit ratings game is played.
In "Credit Scores: What You Need to Know," Blumenthal tackles eight commons myths about how bureaus rate your credit worthiness. Here are a couple that explain my dilemma:
I pay my card off every month, so I must be a low credit risk.
True, your financial habits are excellent. But they won't affect your score. That's because the credit bureaus don't have a clue whether you pay your bill in full or carry a balance on your cards each month. All they know is the amount you owed on your most recent statement.
I was late on a payment, but the debt is now paid off. So I'm good, right?
Afraid not. The single most important factor in your score, accounting for 35% of the total, is whether you have paid your bills on time. One late payment will ding your score for up to a year, very late payments can hurt you for two or three years, and collections and bankruptcies can sting for up to seven years.
Simply put, credit ratings bug. But I do find some solace in the first myth Blumenthal busts:
My credit score is a good reflection of my financial smarts and good behavior.
Not really. Your score doesn't reflect your income, employment history or your assets, which should be a part of your overall financial picture. It also doesn't show whether you pay your rent or utilities on time. As a result, a credit score is less like a report card and more like an SAT score—your results on a particular date that seek to predict your future credit success or failure.
Or in my case, unintentional results that got lost in the busyness of a cross country move.
"[a] man suspected of robbing a North Side woman apparently couldn't resist returning to her home to ask for a date."
Apparently, a young woman and young man were robbed at gunpoint by three men in an apartment parking lot on Saturday night. The robbers got away with the man's wallet and the woman's purse before being scared off by a neighbor. Then,
Less than two hours later, one of the three robbers returned to where Martinez lives to ask her out, police said.
"We are not exactly sure what he was thinking at the time," Columbus police Sgt. Shaun Laird told WBNS-TV (Channel 10).
"She recognized him right away when he returned, and was able to have her cousin call 911."
Police arrived within minutes and arrested Bennett.
Police are looking for two other men who they believe participated in the robbery.
Hmmm ... I know that we here at Boundless do encourage men to initiate and to risk rejection. And we do encourage intentionality (for both guys and gals).
But, what do you think? Do we need to encourage possible readers to check out that eighth commandment first?
It's weird. I was just thinking about this last night. I am on the precipice between singleness and marriage, and I'm stepping over the edge on Saturday. God has given me an incredible journey. He introduced me to my future husband, Kevin, and made the dominoes of our relationship fall faster, and with more precision, than I could have ever imagined.
Last night I was telling Kevin that I felt like I got a much better story than I deserved. Though I have trusted God with my singleness and prayed for a suitable mate, I have never expected God to give me something extra special for my efforts. And yet, in His generosity, He did. But it simply wasn't because of anything I did; it was out of His goodness -- and for His reasons and in His timing. I am glad I waited on Him.
Yesterday a Boundless reader encouraged me with the following message:
Usually when I'm going through something I don't want to go through, I start praying for whoever will go through the same thing I'm going through because I know God is preparing me to minster to them. God has given you validity in your testimony to minister to people that struggle hearing the same words of encouragement from women like me. Don't let anything silence your testimony. You'll save lives with the hope in your story!
Something I don't want to go through. Many times that has been my singleness. I have questioned God's plan more times than I'd like to admit. But I did my best to walk with Him and stay on the path. "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps" (Proverbs 16:9). Stay on the path, friends, and don't give up. Not because you are promised a fairytale ending but because at the proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up (Gal. 6:9). And ultimately it's not about you; it's about God's glory. Being swept up in the beauty of that is more satisfying than anything else in this life.
Don't expect me to use my story as some kind of formula for other singles. That is not my heart. God deals with His children uniquely. My hope is that God uses my story to encourage you in His sovereignty, love and desire to pour out His goodness on you. True, I am embarking on a new season, but I know it will require the same faithfulness and obedience I have sought to exercise up until this point. And I will do my best to continue to encourage you to "take hold of the life that is truly life" (1 Tim. 6:19). Talk to you after the honeymoon!
Soap operas haven't exactly been bastions of family values, so it's no surprise to read in TV Guide that soap operas are going gay. The only surprise may be that it took so long.
What's interesting, though, to see how drastically they're rewriting veteran characters to fit the new angle. Which, apparently, is why longtime soap actress Patricia Mauceri is out of work.
For 14 years, Mauceri played Carlotta Vega, a strong Catholic on One Life to Live. Then the writers did a scene where Vega (mistakenly) believed her son was gay, and responded by immediately and cheerily accepting it -- and even declaring it to be God's plan.
Mauceri, who'd helped shape her character by drawing on her own Christian faith, objected on both moral and artistic grounds:
I did not object to being in a gay storyline. I objected to speaking the truth of what that person, how that person would live and breathe and act in that storyline," she said. "And this goes against everything I am, my belief system, and what I know the character's belief system is aligned to.
Mauceri says that she offered to compromise, suggesting script changes which would keep Vega's response more in character, but the show's producers refused to budge. She was fired (technically, her contract wasn't renewed), and she was quickly replaced with another actress who delivered the lines as written.
It's a good idea to be careful about assuming we know everything that happened in an employment dispute. That said, her story has a credible ring once you see the scene in question. (I looked up the video.)
Finding her son's gift to a gay friend (a book called How to Tell our Parents You're Gay), Vega assumes it's her son's. She shows not a trace of concern or surprise and tells him that "God made you this way." When another character expresses surprise at the churchgoing Vega's attitude, she breezily dismisses church teaching ("I know what my religion teaches") and declares that she's just thinking for herself.
You can see what the producers are up to here. They're so eager to hammer home the message that gay is OK that every likable character on the show must think gay is OK too. TV Guide says that's true on other soaps too: "No one ... thinks it's a big deal."
No one looks to soap operas for raw realism, obviously. But you'd think that a show would at least respect the consistency of its own characters. It says something about how insecure the producers must be when they don't feel they can afford to do that -- when they don't feel they can risk exposing viewers to likable characters who refuse to accept "progressive" attitudes.
Christians will suspect that's because the producers can't escape their conscience any more than anyone else can. Good thing no one can write believers out of real life the way they can from TV shows.
According to a recent Wall Street Journalarticle, American students are borrowing "dramatically more" to pay for college, and paying a very real price for their debt.
Recent numbers from the U.S. Department of Education show that federal student loan dispersements in the 2008-2009 school year were up 25 percent over the previous year, for a total of $75.1 billion. The Journal writes:
"The new numbers highlight how debt has become commonplace in paying for higher education. Today, two-thirds of college students borrow to pay for college, and their average debt load is $23,186 by the time they graduate, according to an analysis of the government's National Postsecondary Student Aid Study, conducted by financial-aid expert Mark Kantrowitz. Only a dozen years earlier, according to the study, 58% of students borrowed to pay for college, and the average amount borrowed was $13,172."
This large debt increase has also produced some large consequences:
"A growing body of research suggests that tough loan payments are affecting major life decisions by recent graduates, forcing them to put off traditional milestones—from buying a first home to even marriage and having children."
The article quotes results from a 2006 study of 1,508 college graduates under the age of 35 who describe how their student loan debt has affected their life choices:
39% say it will take them more than 10 years to pay off their debt
44% say they have delayed purchasing a house
28% say they have delayed having children
It also quotes one young woman who accumulated $181,000 in debt from undergraduate study and law school:
"I wish I had considered the long-term impacts of what I was getting into," Ms. Russell says. When she entered school, "the idea was I'd take out the loans, get a job, and pay it back," she says.
It seemed straightforward. But as the economy has soured, "I feel like it's shifted a lot of my life goals," says Ms. Russell, from buying a house to starting a family. "I'm really concerned about handling this obligation while taking on new ones."
This article really didn't surprise me. When I wrote about student loans and life choices, I quoted a study from Nellie Mae:
... graduate students report the highest [student debt] stress levels. "The levels are high enough to make even their relatively high starting salaries appear inadequate," the study states. In fact, 40 percent of students who did grad work in medicine, law or business have student loans exceeding their current salaries.
So, if you took out student debt, do you feel the same? Do you wish, like that young woman, that you had "considered the long-term impacts" of what you were getting into with student loans? Or do you feel you entered into debt soberly and advisedly?
I live in the Phoenix, Az area but recently bought a vacation home in Heber, AZ to beat the summer heat on weekends. Heber sits on top of the Mogollon Rim at an elevation of about 6600’ and is therefore much cooler than the Phoenix area. This area of Arizona also gets much more rain than the desert valley and supports huge Pine Forests.
The pictures are from my back deck. I often sit out there and watch and listen to the wildlife. I also sometimes bring my laptop and do work there as well as read Boundless. This is really a wonderful place to take in the beauty of God’s creation. It is so beautiful, peaceful, and quiet, I feel closer to God up here than almost anywhere else. I marvel at the various wildlife and think about how God perfectly designed each species for its environment and role within the ecosystem.
I am an avid reader of Boundless and I think there’s a lot of wisdom to be gleaned from the blog and podcasts. I don’t fit into the demographic of a "young" Christian Single anymore, but most of the principles are age independent and applicable for any single, regardless of age.
Thanks again to the Boundless Team and keep up the good fight!
Recent blog posts about age at first marriage have brought out a range of opinions. Might some of those opinions depend on which side of the International Wedding Date Line (or IWDL) that you live on? If you've never heard of that date line it's because Monica Hesse only recently popularized it in a witty and insightful article in the Washington Post over the weekend.
Here's how Monica describes the different responses she got regarding her marriage at the age of 26:
On the East Coast where I live now, at least among most of my friends, getting married is something you do after college, after grad school, after your 30th birthday, after your second solo climb of Mount Everest, after you successfully balance your checkbook for 16 months straight, after, after, after. In other words, getting married at 26 is pretty much like getting married as a fetus.
In the Midwest, at least in the rural Illinois town where I grew up, getting married is something that you do before you begin to think of buying property, before your single-person routines make you stubborn and inflexible, before your metabolism slows enough that a white wedding dress would make you look like a rhinoceros. Optimal marriage age: 20 to 23. Getting married at 26 is like filing your tax returns on April 16.
Have you seen a version of this IWDL in your life (even if it's in a different geographical location)?
Labor Day used to mean the end of summer when we were kids. School started the Tuesday after Labor Day and despite persistent weeks of hot days followed by Indian Summer, in my mind, it was autumn.
I'm not sure if it's the school buses that start running mid-August where we live, or the intense September heat (it's suppose to be in the 80s today), but for some reason, we've let our Labor Day traditions slip in recent years.
But no more! Though it was hot and sunny most of this past weekend, we did have one day of clouds, drizzling rain and a little nip in the air. It was just enough to get our hopes up that autumn is truly just around the corner. And so I headed to the craft store for orange, brown, olive and red paper and started cutting out leaves. And I baked a pot of chili. And lit Yankee candles (Harvest, and Autumn Leaves and Mulling Spices). And Steve made an autumn mix for the iPod (think George Winston, Mindy Smith and September Song for starters).
For a family of autumn-is-the-best-season believers, it was heavenly.
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This year, Labor Day had more than one meaning. Not only was it the kick off of the fall season, it was the start of our broadcast on Family Life Today. The subject: babies. Hard to imagine a better topic for labor day. Not sure if that was intentional, but it was certainly timely. We spent yesterday and today talking with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine about the fears many newly married couples face when thinking about starting their families. Here's help for a culture that's often bearish on babies, and hope if you're ready to be bullish.
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Finallly, I was teaching our kids about Labor Day, talking about the power of unions to change horrific working conditions and how most people today don't remember such things (not in America anyway). We prayed for the people, especially children, still forced to work in sweatshops just to earn enough money to eat, and ended by memorizing Matthew 11:28. I came across that verse, in the New King James Version, while reading the Daily Light.
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Unions that break the grip of unjust working conditions and worse are a good thing. Thankfully we're on the other side of that drama here (so much so that we have the luxury of arguing we're truly post-union here). Whatever your thoughts on unions, finding our rest in Christ is our ultimate goal.
I'm thankful for Jesus' words and what will now be an annual reminder of His call to rest.
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