So You Think You Can Dance (Down the Aisle)?
by Lisa Anderson on 07/30/2009 at 12:40 PM
At over 12 million YouTube views and counting, the JK Wedding Entrance Dance is the most popular trip down the aisle since Lady Di's.
What's your take on it? Fun and celebratory, or tacky and irreverent? Personally, I'm torn. Let's be honest, with my love of hip-hop, it's no surprise that I think stuff like this is awesome. In fact, friends from all over the globe have sent me this clip saying, "Lisa, I can totally see you doing this!" I agree. Somewhere in my head I picture myself staging some choreographed craziness for a processional, recessional, or whatever. Though I'd probably pick something even more ghetto, like Flo Rida's "Low." But at the same time, I believe that a wedding is a sacred event -- a worship service -- and the focus really should be on Christ, and not my ability to pop, lock or krump.
If I get married in my current church or by any of its pastors, my answer will be decided for me. At my church, stuff like this is a no-go. My friend got married in October, and actually wanted the song used in the vid above (it's Chris Brown's "Forever," for those who are wondering) as her recessional. The pastor said "no," citing our church's wedding policy. I understand completely. But the rebellious streak in me (which, not surprisingly, must be vigilantly kept in check) said, "This girl got a good man! She's another success story for single girls everywhere! Let her run out of this church with him to wonderfully styled electronica, vamping and a fierce back-beat!"
Maybe that's best saved for the reception. I rewatched Jill's and Kevin's dance as the entire wedding party was invited to recreate it on the Today show. I liked it even better here, outside and in no danger of overshadowing something more important, like, say ... making a lifelong sacred covenant with someone.
1. Tami said the following at 12:50 PM on Jul 30:
I have nothing against "personalizing" a wedding ceremony, but personally, I would save something like that for the reception entrance.
I appreciate ceremonies that are very basic: entrance, a few words from the pastor, the ceremony, maybe a song, and the exit. In my opinion (again, my opinion, not something I intend to set up as a rule of law, or as a judgment against those who choose to do things differently!), the simpler the ceremony, the more reverent it seems. The more "stuff" you add, the more it takes away from its true focus.
There is definitely room for less formal celebration... I would just choose to have that at the reception :)
2. IMO said the following at 1:01 PM on Jul 30:
Good news for Chris Brown, he's making lots of money off the song now...
3. Nicole said the following at 1:27 PM on Jul 30:
I say, as long as its not crude or explicit, its their wedding and they should go for it! nevermind what the "wedding police" complain about, if they don't like it, find someone who does. plain and simple. Just because its fun and different doesn't mean its rebellious or irreverent.
4. Kelo said the following at 1:32 PM on Jul 30:
Um, do you realize what Flo Rida's "Low" is really about? I doubt you'd want it in your wedding if you knew.
5. keppi abby said the following at 1:38 PM on Jul 30:
Why does dancing = irreverence?
Lisa I do believe that a wedding “a sacred event -- a worship service”
But harkening back to Ted Slater’s article:
(http://www.boundlessline.org/2009/07/music-is-not-worship.html)
A little bit of light heartedness is great.
I think it was beautiful.
It made me cry.
I listened to the podcast about the role of those in the wedding party,
and think it’s cool that not only are these people standing up as a witness to the wedding and marriage and hopefully offering support through difficult times, but are willing to share in the fun, celebrate it and even encourage it.
We all need some more of that I say.
I think God smiles when His children take delight in the things He blesses them with.
6. Jayme said the following at 1:44 PM on Jul 30:
I thought it was fun and still in good taste. Nothing naughty or crude, just fun! A little long perhaps, but fun!
7. Sarah P. said the following at 2:02 PM on Jul 30:
I thought that video was a lot of fun. :D It occurs to me that many foreign wedding ceremonies are quite different than the traditional Western version. Would that make them inherently less godly?
Couldn't you worship God by dancing down the aisle?
8. BDB said the following at 2:14 PM on Jul 30:
Sometimes, I think it would be easier to be Baptist.
I did realize that when my two closest friends got married, neither wedding had alcohol or dancing. I didn't notice until well afterwards. The music was quiet enough we could talk to the other people there!
9. Maria said the following at 2:18 PM on Jul 30:
This grand entrance was so fun to watch. However, I personally, would save it for the reception entrance, because I'd want to preserve the solemn sacredness of the marriage ceremony. It's a matter of having one's heart in the right place, but also sensitive enough to honor that which God brought together, in the midst of his people.
10. brx said the following at 2:37 PM on Jul 30:
Wow, they're so... uh... white :> I can see they did some practiced choreography which looked good. I hope you invite a professional choreographer friend to do yours, Lisa! (I'm sure you know a few)
I'm partial to the "Good Lovin' " wedding break out in Atomic Shakespeare with Bruce Willis and wedding party.
The dance thing might be more appropriate during the recession; regardless, I see no reason a ceremony can not be BOTH sacred AND engagingly joyful.
Grace, peace & let them all rejoice!
Atomic Shakespeare
Petruchio and Kate get married. Song:
Good Lovin' - The Rascals
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2XgZiLQ4A0
11. Texas Craig said the following at 2:49 PM on Jul 30:
That video was very fun. I wish my wedding could have been like that. And, I agree with the comments that just because it involves fun, dancing, and is less formal, that does not make it any less sacred. I believe God delights in our joy (especially when it involves two people coming together as one). Good for them!
12. Joel said the following at 2:51 PM on Jul 30:
On seeing this video I too used the word "awesome" to describe it. I think it's joyful, creative, and decently respectful. (although it's no Catholic wedding Mass) If they had used "Low," perhaps not so respectful, but I think "Forever" is a fitting song for the occasion. On the last round of the chorus when the bride starts down the aisle I got that little shiver that comes with seeing something special and momentous, possibly more so than at some "here comes the bride" weddings I've been to. Now perhaps it's merely the fact that I think marriage is a wonderful gift that I had such a positive reaction to this song-and-dance, but I do believe that the right music in the right circumstance can elicit positive emotions that you wouldn't feel otherwise, and that music may not necessarily fall into the categories of "Classical music, traditional hymnody, and contemporary Christian music."
I find it perpetually fascinating how church policies in general contain a mix of Biblical tenets and "company policies" that are more preference than anything else. While it is any organization's prerogative to make rules for their operations as they see fit, I wonder how a Christian should go about deciding whether flash photography should be limited to the bride's entrance and exit.
13. Caroline said the following at 2:51 PM on Jul 30:
With this couple I don't think it was irreverent. I think anyone watching the video can see that these people were just so happy to be getting hitched! It was a celebration. However, I think all of the following recreations will be irreverent because they won't necessarily be done in the same spirit. Does that make sense?
My fiance have talked about how much fun something like this would be, but we've always talked about it for a reception entry. I don't think that the church we are getting married in would say, "no" to this kind of thing, but I have a feeling that the little old church ladies might throw a few fits. :)
14. Jo said the following at 2:51 PM on Jul 30:
How funny that you blogged about this today, I saw the vid for the first time yesterday when my friend showed it to me.
She likes it. She says she hates the idea of being the centre of attention at her wedding, and thinks something fun like this takes the focus and the pressure off the bride and groom, while giving the rest of the wedding party a moment in the spotlight too.
I can't say I'd want something quite like that at my wedding (Jo does not dance), but I don't think it's irreverant. I agree with my friend that it's lovely to involve the whole wedding party, what a great way of saying, this is a community event, not just something for the two of us.
In short, I think it's pretty cool.
15. Kristy said the following at 2:58 PM on Jul 30:
I agree with #6...it was fun! Maybe I am coming at this from a different angle because I have been dancing (all styles- ballet, jazz, hip hop) since I was 7 or 8, but I would LOVE to dance down the aisle at my wedding! I am going to be nervous enough on the "big day" and I think dancing down the aisle would be a great way for me to get rid of some jitters by "dancing it out"!! (That's what we call it at my dance studio...dancing it out...at the end of class we'll put on a song and just move around. Whether you feel sad or happy or whatever else, it's a great release!) Dancing down the aisle would totally help me relax and enjoy the day.
16. Ronnica said the following at 3:09 PM on Jul 30:
Was it irreverent? Hmmm. I don't have a problem with dancing, so that's not it. I'd have to listen to the song again, but I don't remember there being anything objectionable in the lyrics. While a wedding should be a time of worship, dancing can be worship, right? It seems like it was done in a celebratory spirit.
So, I don't know which side of the aisle I'm on (pardon the pun!). Personally, I want a wedding that is both casual/fun (reflecting my style) and one that honors God above all else.
17. SavvyD said the following at 3:23 PM on Jul 30:
It's the eternal appeal of keeping up with the Joneses. the wedding must be bigger, better and more ostentatious than the last. Some churches insist on liturgical services and others will allow some fun stuff. Personally, I wouldn't want that. I'd be happy marrying the love of my life in a simple ceremony with just a few people.
18. Maria said the following at 3:28 PM on Jul 30:
I like what Caroline writes
(post #13)
Gleeful jubilation can honor God and bless others simaltenously.
In the video, the joy of the entire wedding party as it is obviously displayed, doesn't seem to be superficially fabricated. It's a happy energy that I don't believe taints the sanctity of a marriage ceremony. However, consideration should also be given to the audience (if there are any attendees who would view such a demonstrative disply and be tempted to stumble in their faith)
Romans 14:13 says:
Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.
Peace to all!
19. Kristina said the following at 3:28 PM on Jul 30:
I am one of the most old-fashioned, conservative, do-things-by-the-book type of person (I'm one of those that gets offended when I see people wearing jeans at someone's wedding), but I absolutely LOVE this video and what they did. I almost wish I would have thought of it.
Every time I see this video it makes me feel extreme joy for these people, whom I don't even know personally. I want that kind of joy and fun at my wedding. What a blessing to be able to cut loose and celebrate the blessing God has given you and to have your friends/family there to join along. I think it puts a smile on God's face to see us that happy...
20. S said the following at 3:30 PM on Jul 30:
This really made me smile. They jumped and shouted and made a joyful noise.
But Lisa, something "even more ghetto"? How is this song ghetto? It's about dancing together. It's not ghetto. It's sung by a black man, and it's hip hop, but I would check your usage of the word "ghetto". You've used it in the past, and I would be more careful to not apply "ghetto" to simply "black".
21. Kellie said the following at 3:31 PM on Jul 30:
Such a cute video!! It seemed very well thought-out and put together. And a very joyful way to start a wedding!
22. Elizabeth said the following at 3:33 PM on Jul 30:
Please be careful in using the term "ghetto" which often associated with the negative aspect of Black culture. Although individuals use it flippantly, it is loaded with negative connotations and can be hurtful to particularly people of color. Thank you.
23. Renee said the following at 3:36 PM on Jul 30:
I completely disagree with you. God does not mind us having fun. You can have a reverent and God-honoring ceremony with dancing. You almost sound like someone dissing contemporary worship music (ok ok, some of the lyrics SHOULD be dissed they are shallow and theologically wrong, but the style is not the problem) just because... it isn't traditional. I don't know. I felt like she showed a true spirit of celebration, and perhaps also made the fact she had no father to walk her down the aisle not something sad and depressing (I don't know if that was the deal or not). I think it was great. :)
24. Lisa Anderson said the following at 3:38 PM on Jul 30:
Kelo (#4):
Very good point. "Low" was just the first song that came to mind for my tongue-in-cheek comparison. I agree that it's definitely not the best example. It is, sadly, one of those songs that "has a great beat/I can dance to it", but I wouldn't add to my collection because the lyrics are in very poor taste.
Thanks for keeping it real.
25. LeeLee said the following at 4:04 PM on Jul 30:
#8- I'm Baptist and I drink and dance. But I'm American Baptist, and different sects enforce different rules.
I see nothing wrong with this video, and I agree with most of the commentators here: it's a really joyful celebration. Although I will point out that my dad (also a drinking, dancing Baptist) was not so impressed, and I got a very stern "don't you dare think of doing anything like that for your wedding."
26. Tom Neven said the following at 4:59 PM on Jul 30:
I could never do this, seeing as I suffer an acute case of CRD (Caucasian rhythmic disorder).
27. Heidi said the following at 5:00 PM on Jul 30:
From my understanding, "reverence" indicates deep respect and awe, and implies a sort of pulling yourself together, sitting up straight and making every movement and word a product of careful consideration and thought.
Hip-hop dancing is all about letting loose, not really thinking about the movements, and a general uncaring attitude about how you look while doing it.
Those two sound like opposites to me.
28. mary kate said the following at 5:18 PM on Jul 30:
i ADORE this. not sure if i'd do it or not, but i agree with other posters... who says dancing and being joyful aren't sacred? umm, david dancing in his underwear, anyone? don't be a michal. this video seems to just be sheer joy and fun. Love it.
29. BDB said the following at 5:49 PM on Jul 30:
#25 - Yes, I'm not precisely sure which Baptist group was represented at that particular wedding. I attended another Lutheran wedding. At the reception, one of my Baptist friends leaned over and said, "So, how about that wine for communion?"
Bit of a surprise for the grape-juice crowd!
30. pass the ammunition said the following at 6:27 PM on Jul 30:
Watch your use of the word "ghetto." Not only is it considered offensive, but you did not even use it correctly as a pejorative. What does it mean to call a song "ghetto?" A ghetto is a place, and should not be used as descriptor. Replace ghetto with "shantytown" or "slum" and see if it still works...
31. Laura said the following at 6:36 PM on Jul 30:
I'm glad most of the commenters here have gotten the vibe of the video! It was clearly a light-hearted excitement and joy, as well as a great sense of humor, that drove the decision behind "dancing down the aisle." If it's not your thing, that's cool, but what a celebratory way to start off a wedding ceremony! I would rather have a bit of silliness that sets people at ease and expresses the joy of the occasion than a solemn but dull ceremony.
Even Jesus said that the bridegroom's friends rejoice when he's with them! ;)
32. Emily said the following at 7:15 PM on Jul 30:
Lisa, Thanks for the article on this. I saw the video a few days and I'm glad to see some dicussion on it.
I think a wedding is a worship service... a reverent (and joyful of course!) occasion. My personal opinion,the dancing as in the movie, took away from the reverence of the occasion.
I think this sums up what I was thinking:
"...I believe that a wedding is a sacred event -- a worship service -- and the focus really should be on Christ, and not my ability to pop, lock or krump."
(also I like 16s comment)
However I can see that being great fun at the reception if you were the type of person that liked that sort of thing...
33. BDB said the following at 8:05 PM on Jul 30:
Dave Chappelle conducted an analysis of what types of music was most effective for dancing for which ethnic groups.
In this case, Chappelle would have used electric guitar.
34. DannieA said the following at 8:10 PM on Jul 30:
Am I one of the only people that thought this was a little irreverent given the apparent location of the ceremony appeared to be inside a church building?
If you want to do this sort of thing, by all means get married outside or in a ballroom place. Or just save it for the reception. That's where the fun is.
But that's just me....a non-dancing, drinking wedding goer LOL
35. Lena said the following at 9:16 PM on Jul 30:
So slightly going off topic. . .but why is it that Village Seven (the church of the above linked wedding rules) does not allow communion to be served as part of the wedding ceremony? What if it was served to the whole congregation and not just the bride and groom?
36. farmer Tom said the following at 10:22 PM on Jul 30:
26. Tom Neven said,
I could never do this, seeing as I suffer an acute case of CRD (Caucasian rhythmic disorder).
I didn't know there was a name for it Tom, but I've got it, real bad.
37. Maria said the following at 10:56 PM on Jul 30:
Lisa, I loved this video and I am an extremely conservative person. But a wedding is such a joyous thing to celebrate and at 33 single never dated or had a relationship, if God brings someone into my life that wants to marry me - believe me there will be no dignified or solemn stroll down the aisle....I will be dancing all the way
38. Hunter W said the following at 11:19 PM on Jul 30:
Lisa,
I'm curious to know what your Biblical objection is to this kind of song at the ceremony. From what I know there is none.
I'm also curious to know the Biblical basis your church has for some of its restrictions. You can definitely make an argument for some (like counseling) but you'd be hard pressed to find anything close to "no flash photography during the ceremony". That is merely church preference or as Joel put it (#12) company policies.
The American Church, and especially churches in Colorado Springs, would do a much better job of reaching the lost and luke-warm church goes if they'd only hold strong and fast to what is explicit in the Bible and to what is strongly alluded to rather than drawing arbitrary lines in the sand.
A wedding is the only time that many people will darken a church door. Why not use that opportunity to shatter the pigeonhole non-believers have put us in? How many people who watched this video said "Now that's a church I would want to go to!"? Weddings give us an unbelievable opportunity to witness to people who don't know Jesus by celebrating one of God's most amazing blessings. Do we give them the full aroma of Christ? Or do we leave them with the same thing they've already experienced time and time again?
I, for one, want to have one of biggest parties ever conceived at my wedding. That includes plainly explaining the Gospel truths reflected in a wedding, God's utter holiness, His love for us, and the enjoyment He derives from seeing us fully celebrate the joy in our lives.
39. Texas Craig said the following at 11:48 PM on Jul 30:
Tom (#26), don't sell yourself short! A couple of the guys dancing on the video also appeared to suffer from CRD. If they can dance in front of everyone, so can you! ;-)
In fact, I think you should post a video of yourself dancing, under the "Where Are You" blog. You can title it "I'm here, shaking my boo-tay CRD-style!"
40. kaj said the following at 4:18 AM on Jul 31:
No pets were harmed in the production of the video, or this blog entry.
41. Charlotte C. said the following at 6:46 AM on Jul 31:
I don't know. I think it's great they're having fun but I hope this doesn't become the biggest trend or something like that. Although we couldn't really tell whether they were 'showing off' their abilities or not, I'd agree with Maria (9#). Maybe, they could've saved it for the reception.
I guess it's 'cause I'm a 'traditional' kind of person and I'm not into that sort of music and thing. LOL I'd rather have a quiet wedding with vows exchanged and etc. But I hope outsiders don't interpret that the wrong way and think it's okay to rap or breakdance on the wedding day.
42. Lucie said the following at 7:12 AM on Jul 31:
I thought this couple showed a marvelous sense of humor that will probably serve them well down the road in their marriage. God bless 'em!
43. Louise from Chicago said the following at 8:03 AM on Jul 31:
I enjoyed the video.
I can understand that not everyone would like this in their wedding though.
Comment 23, the bride's lack of a father doesn't have to ruin a wedding...at my wedding my mother walked me down the aisle.
44. Todd said the following at 8:45 AM on Jul 31:
This was fantastic. I'm a guy and even I got chills, especially when the bride came in. Much better than some weddings I've attended with half-hour sermons and you could tell everyone (pastor included) just wanted to get done and get out of there.
Did I not notice a female officiant? I'd have more of an issue with that :)
With all due respect, some Christians could stand to lighten up a bit.
45. IMO said the following at 9:18 AM on Jul 31:
"Replace ghetto with "shantytown" or "slum" and see if it still works..."
Or the 1st stop the Jews were shipped off to before the concentration camps
46. IMO said the following at 9:19 AM on Jul 31:
One more thought...so only white people get reprimanded for using the word ghetto??
47. Tami said the following at 9:19 AM on Jul 31:
... and with respect, can I please ask that we not make assumptions that if we're not into this kind of wedding entrance, we need to "lighten up"? :(
I am *very* goofy and lighthearted, and yet I'm one who probably wouldn't choose to do this. I don't think I'd be limiting my joy, just the way I'm expressing it in that particular circumstance.
48. Miriam said the following at 9:30 AM on Jul 31:
Hunter (#38) - the church doesn't state that their wedding rules are all Biblically based. I don't think they have to be, either. They would have been put in place for the convenience of the staff/clergy and the wedding party, surely. If the rules had been labelled as being based on the Bible there would be an issue, but as it is they are just something that you agree to abide by to marry in that venue. No different than marrying in a secular venue that doesn't allow alcohol or confetti.
49. Kerrie said the following at 9:43 AM on Jul 31:
While I don't think my fiancé and I will be doing the same when we get married next Saturday (DV), that has brought such joy to my Friday afternoon sitting at my desk. Thank you!
50. Danielle said the following at 10:21 AM on Jul 31:
A wedding is not a worship service. It is a celebration of marriage and as such should not only be allowed but possibly required to be celebatory. Tradtional american weddings seriously lack joy. They are almost like funerals!
51. Christina (in green) said the following at 10:26 AM on Jul 31:
Tami,
I had to many tears in my eyes to manage a choreographed dance down the aisle.
I have no problem with others doing this, but I agree with you - it wouldn't have been for me :)
52. katers said the following at 10:32 AM on Jul 31:
Amen, #38! I am getting married next August, and my fiance and I plan to use the ceremony as a way to bring AS MANY people as we can into church at the same time to hear the gospel message and the message of God's unfailing covenant faithfulness to us.
I don't know that I'd dance down the aisle, just because my mom is hoping for some more traditionally "beautiful" music, but we are definitely going to change things up a little bit, to make people think about what is happening, and not just a rote ceremony that has to be "gotten through" before the big party starts. Of course, that's just kind of how we roll in general...it's not hard to be different in a way that shines Christ's light when you think about the truth and meaning of what you're doing with your life. We even said that if people reject our invitations, we'll invite the poor and the lame in to the banquet. ; )
53. FutureMrsLarijani said the following at 10:46 AM on Jul 31:
Weddings always reflect the presonality of the couple . . .
I'm excited to see how my wedding will turn out.
So far, we are going for a casual atmosphere.
Reverant, yet casual.
There won't be any dancing though . . . but I hear that he suffers from an acute form Caucassion Rhythmic Disorder as well, so it works out well.
54. Jo said the following at 11:07 AM on Jul 31:
Louise:
"Comment 23, the bride's lack of a father doesn't have to ruin a wedding...at my wedding my mother walked me down the aisle."
I think my brother will do it at mine. I haven't told him that yet though! Or my grandad, that might be even nicer.
55. Elizabeth said the following at 11:26 AM on Jul 31:
To 45 & 46,
Personally, I am offended if either of person of color or a white person says the word "ghetto". Unfortunately, there are so many stereotypes of various people groups, many of these stereotypes that are hurtful and degrading. I, also, hold myself accountable in how I represent people and often guilty saying things carelessly. Having a diverse group of various backgrounds also helps me with what I say. Words like "Indian giver" "gyped" are just a few words that we should erase from our vocabulary so that we can give the proper and more accurate definition of what we are trying to convey. Anyway, as one who follows and love Jesus...I am just keeping myself in check and thankfull the Holy Spirit does too :)
56. Todd said the following at 11:30 AM on Jul 31:
No problem, Tami, that's why I used "some" and not "all."
57. Laura said the following at 11:43 AM on Jul 31:
Tami #47, I think that the problem is that some commenters have framed their opinion about this video in terms of "irreverence" or "inappropriateness," rather than focusing on the fact that they wouldn't choose to include such a dance at their own weddings. If someone is turning their personal taste into a sweeping judgment, they've earned a "lighten up!" in my opinion!
Like I said, y'all, if it's not your thing, that's fine! I just get a little tired of Christians feeling compelled to justify their opinions in a way that denigrates every other opinion. If someone likes the video and you don't, that doesn't make the dancers "irreverent" or "inappropriate." It just means you don't like it, and that's OK. You can just say, "not my thing" and leave it at that.
We need to be cautious about turning into the Holiness Police just because something doesn't fit our taste. "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm going to have to issue you an Irreverence Citation. You're just having too much fun."
58. Dan real name said the following at 11:54 AM on Jul 31:
I have no problem with the wedding party dancing down the aisle.
'nuff said
59. Tiff said the following at 1:02 PM on Jul 31:
Well said, Laura #57!
60. IMO said the following at 2:02 PM on Jul 31:
#55 That's a good idea...strive to be above reproach..
#57 Agree with #59 that is well-said...
61. Katrece said the following at 2:07 PM on Jul 31:
I loved the video. I just hope the people at each of the next few weddings I attend don't try to copy this. This whole thing will get, "played out" really fast. (How's that for, "hip" lingo?)
I find no problem with Lisa's church and it's rules. If people (like myself) don't like all the rules, they can get married someplace else! Who cares?! It's a wedding and there are a ton of available locations. Although the rental costs at VS are pretty reasonable, and appealing. But I find it odd that this church bans taking of Communion during the ceremony. Getting married is a covenant ceremony. Why not allow people to remember and celebrate the life, death, and resurrection of their Savior?
As far as the sacredness of the wedding, it is a sacred and holy event for believers. Abraham worshiped, "gave God worth" by being obedient, trusting God, and being willing to offer up his son as a sacrifice. A covenant was formed at that point. Scripture also refers to the covenant relationship that God established with us through Christ. Covenants between mankind also occur. At a wedding the bride and groom are, hopefully, worshiping and giving God glory by following His will for them.
Like I said, I loved the video. My recessional might include the wedding party dancing out of the auditorium. I'm 26 and single, so hopefully I'll still be able to get around by the time I get married :)
I doubt that I'll do a dance like that as a processional, maybe as my recessional. I love Broadway, so for awhile I've thought of having a Broadway-ish processional; or maybe a ballerina doing a short dance. But the hip-hop idea looks really appealing.
I know this is crazy, but I love "September" by Earth, Wind and Fire. I could get married in September, and use the song as my recessional! My brother said that'd be corny :/
I think we can honor God, have a sacred ceremony, and spice things up!
62. Tami said the following at 2:08 PM on Jul 31:
Thanks Todd and Laura -- I see your point.
I had just wanted to make the case that not every one of us who doesn't like the dance is necessarily a fuddy duddy, or that we view ourselves as the Holiness Police. :) So long as the discussion is respectful on *all* sides, I'm cool. :)
63. Lisa Anderson said the following at 2:30 PM on Jul 31:
All,
I'm trying to get one of my pastors to address the Village Seven Pres wedding policy, esp as it relates to communion, secular music/dance and themes for the ceremony. They'll be able to give a much better explanation than I, no doubt.
Stay tuned!
64. Kansas Girl said the following at 2:32 PM on Jul 31:
My thinking is like Heidi's, post #27. I grew up in a traditional church where God's sanctuary was seen as holy and something to be taken seriously. I understand the desire to bring people to Jesus and strive to make church exciting, but it should not be at the expense of being more like the world than God. Is runnning, doing summersaults really respecting God in his house of worship? Also, the choice of lyrics, do they bring glory to God? I see a wedding ceremony and any activity in the sanctuary as something that should strive to please God and his standards. Recently I've been reading Eric and Leslie Ludy' books and am so inspired by their choosing to live the kind of life that is set-apart for God. Yes, weddings should be a joyous ocassion, but we also need to do things in a way that honors God. The end question is this: are we imitating Christ and all that is true and pure?
65. BDB said the following at 2:58 PM on Jul 31:
So, if I was watching the video correctly there at the end, a female pastor was officiating the ceremony, right?
66. Lisa Anderson said the following at 3:53 PM on Jul 31:
Dr. Dominic Aquila, a friend, mentor, and a leader in my denomination, the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA), just sent me this:
The PCA's theology of the Lord's Supper is that it is a sacrament for the church and is to be administered by the overseers of the church. It is a corporate sacrament representing believers' union with Christ and one another; as such it is not a private act. Along with serving the Lord's Supper there is to be the preaching of the Word as the Word and sacrament are corollaries of one another. For a couple to take the Lord's Supper in a wedding ceremony, especially if those present are not also able to take it, relegates the sacrament to a mere ceremony, like lighting the unity candle.
I'll let you know if I receive further insights!
67. Sadie said the following at 4:10 PM on Jul 31:
Wow! this video was so much fun.
My sister-in-law danced down the isle with her father. You could see the pure joy on their faces. Then I looked at my brother and he was beaming with love and joy.
My cousin-in-law also danced down the isle. She told us afterward that it was pure joy to be going to her bridegroom.
Both ladies are wonderful Christian women who seek to honor God in everything. They saw their weddings as a chance to share the God given joy, love and happiness with family and friends.
I could go on with tales of other friends who have chosen songs that might not pass muster with some, like the theme from Star Wars or Star Trek or secular songs about long lasting love.
68. Leah said the following at 6:08 PM on Jul 31:
Overshadowing "making a lifelong sacred covenant with someone"??
Why is it not CELEBRATING making a lifelong sacred covenant with someone?
Why does everyone seem to think God only appreciates solemn ceremonies? These are the same people who try to assure us that yes, God does have a sense of humour and does love for us to enjoy ourselves. This is just a step down the line that would eventually take us to "no laughing, no smiling, no music with a tempo higher than 80" etc.
They were not using dance moves that hinted at anything sexual, they were not using a disrespectful song... I don't see the problem.
I also think some of the policies/rules at the church Lisa linked to are just a bit over-the-top. eg. the church has a policy on how to tie the bows onto the pews?
69. Kellie said the following at 6:41 PM on Jul 31:
Re #66, yep, I got married in a Presbyterian church and no communion allowed (we were actually given a rule booklet....the photographer couldn't even take pictures during the cermony) Dancing down the aisle would have been a definite no.
70. composer girl said the following at 9:04 PM on Jul 31:
I don't think that anyone should be trying to judge dancing down the aisle or not doing so from a moral standpoint. Following is a question raised not on the grounds of morality but of focus:
Should the focus of the wedding be on the bride and the groom, or on Christ? (Rhetorical question: I'm going with the answer of "both")
This wedding dance did a great job at displaying the joy of the bride and groom and all of their friends about their union, and in that way brought appropriate focus to one of the good and right things that is to be celebrated at a wedding.
Did this wedding dance also bring the focus to Christ? I don't know. Expressions of joy and celebration do not inherently bring focus to or away from God; it depends on the state of one's heart as to where his focus is during those times. However, as distractable human beings, it is easy (at least for me) to just celebrate whatever is happening without thinking about the God Who is the reason for all celebration.
Because we are distractable human beings, I think that in times of levity and celebration (which are wonderful and good and can bring God praise!) we need to do something specific to bring the focus to God. Did this dance down the aisle bring focus to God as the Reason for celebration and a focus of the ceremony? I think whether it did or not is dependent upon what the officiant said directly afterward. Did she just launch into the familiar words "We are gathered here today..." or did she say something similar to what people here have been saying: "Marriage is a wonderful thing given to us by God, and is a reason for great celebration! Dancing is one of the ways that we can worship the Lord through celebration; what a wonderful way to praise the Lord for His gift of marriage!" I think the former would have just caused the people to focus on the wedding ceremony (which is good), and the latter would have brought the focus to both the wedding ceremony and the Creator of marriage (which is ideal).
Thoughts?
71. Gary Morland said the following at 9:22 PM on Jul 31:
I cried the first time I saw it. Maybe because of how I feel about my wife. We've been married 36 years. If I knew when we got married what I know now, I'da been dancing down the aisle, too.
We do solemn pretty well. Don't forget the joy.
72. Becky said the following at 9:32 PM on Jul 31:
I know this isn't totally related, but this video reminded me of one time when i went to a predominantly african-canadian church, and they danced to give the offering. Not to Chris Brown obviously, but it was very upbeat worship music. Even if you weren't giving that sunday, you got up and danced around the sanctuary with the rest of the congregation as you passed the plate. I think everyone in there was a 'joyful giver' i loved it and thought it was beautiful!
73. DannieA said the following at 12:15 AM on Aug 1:
in regards to #57 and 59...since I used the term "irreverent" then I will answer...
Yes, if this was done inside a church, I personally think it is a little irreverent..guess what, I'm entitled to my opinion as well.
I also said that it would be more my thing if it were done at an outside wedding...
To be made fun of and to say 'lighten up' is imo a little disrespectful especially when Lisa posed the question "do you think it's fun, celebratory, or tacky and irreverent. Why would a person comment the term "lighten up" in response to a comment that a person answered in the way the original post asked???????
74. Lucy Goosey said the following at 12:35 AM on Aug 1:
I'm black...I don't care how "white" they were...they "got down!" I wanted to be there. Definitely a celebration. Makes me wonder how the wedding was back when Jesus turned water into wine.
75. Chloe said the following at 12:47 AM on Aug 1:
hey in regards to your friend who was not 'allowed' forever by chris brown as her entrance song, isnt that a bit legalistic? i mean a wedding is completely about a man and a woman who are joining to become one under in gods prescence? and why is dancing considered "ungodly"?
dont we all sing, dance and clap & express ourselves during church worship? havent we all done a goofy crazy impromtu dance as thanks to God for something he has blessed us with?
How is a dancing entrance at a wedding any different?
because of this blog post i am reminded of a scripture which i take insiration from as does my youth group during Worship
"Let them PRAISE his name with DANCING" (emphasis added) - Psalm 179:3
After all, what is so morally wrong or "ungodly" about celebrating with our Creator for the wonderful blessings he has bestowed upon us?
In a world so full of Debauchery that rivals Sodom and Gommorah, this issue seems somewhat innocent in comparison!!
76. Heidi said the following at 3:27 AM on Aug 1:
Laura (#57) I believe I explained in my earlier comment (#27) exactly how hip-hop dancing as a whole is the opposite of reverence.
I have nothing personally against non-suggestive hip-hop dancing, and the video was definitely fun, joyful, and devoid of impure dance moves. It was fun to watch. But one thing it wasn't was reverent.
The word "reverence" implies a supreme sense of awe to the point of holding oneself in check and making every word and action carefully and thoughtfully in direct consideration to whatever is being reverenced.
Hip-hop, on the other hand is *all* about letting loose without thinking about the movements and having somewhat of an *uncaring* attitude about the environment around you, who sees you, what they think, or whether or not you're making an absolute fool of yourself.
Again, I'm not saying hip-hop is evil; I'm just saying it's not reverent according to the common understanding of that word's definition.
77. FutureMrsLarijani said the following at 12:07 PM on Aug 1:
I finally got to see the video (YouTube is blocked at work). I'll admit - it was cute and well-done.
I wouldn't do it at my wedding because it wouldn't accurately reflect our personality.
It's cute, though, I'll admit.
78. FutureMrsLarijani said the following at 8:11 AM on Aug 3:
Lisa - I had no idea you were in the PCA! I knew you were totally cool for a reason. ;)
(I'm in the PCA too . . . until December anyhow. :) )
79. Lisa Anderson said the following at 11:39 AM on Aug 3:
From my senior pastor, Mark Bates:
Ditto to what Dominic (#66) said about communion. Most people consider their faith to be simply about a personal relationship with God without thinking about the corporate nature of it. Yes, a Christian has a personal relationship with God. However, it is in the context of the body of Christ. It is a sacrament for the church. Communion is a corporate worship event. It signifies both our union with Christ and our union with others in the body of Christ. We are all one loaf, as Paul says.
Regarding secular music/dance etc.: While I enjoyed the video of the people dancing down the aisle at the wedding, it misses an important element. Weddings, at least those at a church, are worship services. So, God must be central in all that takes place. A governing principle would then be, whatever would be improper for worship would be improper for a wedding.
I suppose a case could be made that a wedding doesn't have to be a worship service. That might be true, but then why do it in a church at all? As long as it is done at the church, we would treat it as a worship service.
I think it is good to separate the [wedding and reception]. A wedding is not a party, but it is a great occasion for a party. So, we are not against dancing, secular music, etc., but in its proper place.
And a summary of comments from one of my other pastors: regarding communion, he said that due to the seriousness of taking the Lord's Supper, and the very clear warnings about doing it in an unworthy manner (including a warning about death), it's best to not offer it at a wedding where the crowd is more likely to include folks who either aren't believers or have an incomplete understanding of the sacrament. The responsibility on the pastor therefore is very great, and he would no doubt be put in a position of having to overexplain himself and/or issue warnings and background to the point of bogging down the ceremony.
Regarding secular music and "theme" weddings, he said that's just a way of managing craziness. An across-the-board "no" is cleaner and easier than saying "no" individually to Star Wars, Star Trek, Strawberry Shortcake, etc.
And the remaining church policies are preference and convenience.
80. rachel said the following at 12:22 PM on Aug 3:
I loved it.
81. Tami said the following at 12:37 PM on Aug 3:
Lisa (79) -- am totally cracking up at the mention of a Strawberry Shortcake-themed wedding.
I can only imagine my 10-year-old self TOTALLY being on board with that! Especially if I could've been Lemon Meringue and had Hopsalot as my ring-bearing bunny.
[/'80's child]
82. Amir Larijani said the following at 12:55 PM on Aug 3:
FutureMrsLarijani says:
I double-dog-dare ya...
83. Amir Larijani said the following at 1:00 PM on Aug 3:
FutureMrsLarijani says:
Mr. Larijani definitely suffers from Caucasian Rhythmic Disorder. At the prom, his poor date got her feet stepped on God knows how many times...
84. Liz said the following at 1:55 PM on Aug 3:
In case it's not on here already: This wedding took place at Christ Lutheran Church in St. Paul, MN, for those who are wondering.
Also, a few people have made comments about how "a wedding isn't a worship service." That's not entirely true--in several churches, and especially in the Catholic Church, a wedding is most definitely a worship service!
85. Texas Craig said the following at 2:17 PM on Aug 3:
Lisa:
I appreciate the fact that your senior pastor responded on this issue and the church's policies. He makes a couple of comments I find a little bit troubling, though.
In particular, he indicated that secular music/dance should not be part of a church wedding, because church weddings are worship services.(BTW, what exactly qualifies as "secular dancing?" With songs, we can look at lyrics, but with dancing, it would seem difficult to me to distinguish "secular" from "sacred")
While I agree that church weddings can and should involve worship (as should all of our lives), I don't see the logic in his arguments. Plenty of things are done in church that are not technically "worship" in the way he appears to mean it. Churches have potluck suppers in their buildings, students meet for youth group and probably play games and do other things that may not directly involve worship. So, a wedding held in a church ought not be held to some false standard of "worship" just because it happens in a church.
Moreover, what songs are not appropriate? If the purpose is one of celebration of the union between a man and a woman, why would a "secular" love song that has nothing inappropriate in it be inappropriate even for a worship service? Does it make a difference if the song is by Steven Curtis Chapman (but still is just a love song)? If so, why?
Moreover, secular songs that are patriotic are frequently played in church, as long as there is nothing inappropriate in them. Similarly, David danced before God, so what kind of fun dancing to celebrate a wedding is considered "inappropriate" for worship?
So, while I appreciate your pastor's response, I still am left feeling that the lines being drawn are based on some false dichotomies and personal preferences, rather than any clear biblical standards.
That's just my $.02.
86. Hunter W said the following at 11:15 PM on Aug 3:
Based on Colossians 3:17 it is easy to make an argument that virtually everything we do is an act of worship:
"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
I strongly recommend everyone read "Follow Me" by Jan David Hettinga. He clearly demonstrates that when we live by Kingdom principles we are fully and completely submitted to God. We have no rights and therefore can't portion off parts of our lives as "worship" and other parts as "non-worship".
87. Jeny said the following at 12:28 AM on Aug 4:
If wedding is considered to be a worship, would we worship a holy God like that? I'm just asking...
88. Zusanne said the following at 4:22 PM on Aug 4:
Marriage is under such attack these days--the fact that a couple wants to marry and CELEBRATE is admirable! I appreciate creativity.
My church has policies/regulations about what weddings we'll hold in our facilities. Apparently it's quite a long application. It seems that other events in the past were not conducted respectfully. While it's true that the church is God's house, those who are in charge of that specific congregation and must maintain the physical building should be able to have some say in the way things are conducted.
Not that I have to worry about this any time soon, but I don't know that I would want to get married in a church. For starters, there's that long application . . . seriously, I would rather have a celebration where people are relaxed and comfortable (the beach on a cool day?) to share my vows and ask for God's blessing than to have a formal ceremony. That's just my preference.
Just for fun: one of my friends got married this summer. She teaches elementary school; she had a cotton-candy machine at the reception. Cute!
89. Lucy Goosey said the following at 9:46 PM on Aug 5:
We didn't need to wait too long for non-marriage lovers to diss the video. There's already a spoof about it. I guess we need to not diss such a celebration...the world already does it.