Out of the Mouths of Babes ...
by Thomas Jeffries on 05/19/2009 at 12:15 PM
All I wanted was a parking space.
It was Saturday afternoon, and I was driving home with two hungry kids. Despite my status as a thoroughly modern and enlightened father, I knew there was little chance of me preparing a healthy, balanced dinner for the three of us before we all fainted from starvation, so I naturally began the time-honored hunt for a quick meal that wouldn't deplete my retirement account.
I pulled in to the parking lot of the nearest strip mall, settled on a dining establishment we could all agree on, and quickly discovered that there wasn't an empty parking space within 200 feet of the entrance. Actually, there was one available space, but it wasn't fully available. You see, what we encountered that day was a case of, well, I can't use the popular term on a family friendly blog, but you've all seen it before: Someone who thinks their car is so nice, so new, so ... special ... that they deem it worthy of occupying not one but two parking spaces.
As I circled the lot one more time just to see if another spot opened up, another option came to me. Though the inconsiderate driver in question had obviously meant to occupy multiple parking spaces, I noticed that he or she was a bit lacking in execution. The driver had left just enough room on one side for me to squeeze in my modest sedan.
Sensing that it was my duty, my mission, to teach this lout a lesson in inconsideration, I carefully navigated my car into the available area, with barely enough room for us to actually exit our vehicle.
Needless to say, this did not go over well with all my passengers. My nine-year-old daughter was able to slither out easily enough, so she was fairly oblivious to the vital message being conveyed. Yet my oldest son, the one barely out of elementary school, knew exactly what was going on.
"Dad, what are you doing? Don't do this!"
I calmly explained through clenched teeth that people who intentionally occupy multiple parking spaces are akin to criminals and need to be shown the error of their ways. I'd had enough, and I wasn't going to take it anymore.
But my son knew better. Whether he was afraid of the offending car's owner or some other threat yet unseen, or whether he just thought I'd gone temporarily insane, I don't know, but he continued his protestations all the way to the door of the restaurant. Since he was just as hungry as the rest of us, I could tell that he felt very strongly. I could also hear the distress in his voice.
"Dad, no, please don't!"
"But I'm teaching them a lesson," I explained. "People just can't do this!"
My son was now almost in tears.
"But Dad, God can take care of him!"
Please forgive the cliche, but his words hit me like a ton of bricks. It was my turn to hold back tears, as I came to a sudden halt in the parking lot. I looked at this boy who rarely reads his Bible without prompting and who would rather sleep in rather than get up for church most Sundays, and I knew that God was speaking through him.
How many times had I taught my kids that revenge wasn't up to them, that they should resist the urge to tattle on their classmates and siblings, that God would make things right in the end? And now my son had shamed me with my own words, basically citing Romans 12:19-21 without even knowing it:
"Do not take revenge my friends ... for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary: 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
I walked back to our car, slowly opened the doors to make sure we didn't scratch the vehicle next to us, and drove away. When I had calmed down sufficiently, after my seemingly righteous indignation had evaporated like so much hot air, I looked my son in the eye.
"You were right," I said. "God can take care of him."
One guess who really learned the lesson that day.
1. Ted Slater said the following at 12:28 PM on May 19:
Sorry, that post came up under "Thomas Jeffries." Should have been attributed to me, Ted Slater.
Just kidding. It just felt like something I'd write. ;-)
2. Lissa said the following at 12:45 PM on May 19:
...this made me cry. There is just something incredible about a grown man turning from a decision that he knew was wrong and repenting for it and especially when the rebuke comes from a child.
Thank you. This was so encouraging to read. I want to live my life like that...embracing humility even when it hurts.
3. Jo said the following at 12:47 PM on May 19:
There's a reason why Jesus told us to become like little children. I remember a couple of things that I did when I was a child that really challenge adult-me when I think about them.
The best one was when I was about 6 or so, and my parents and I spent the evening with the family of a guy Dad knew from work. I guess this guy must have been the type to use 'naughty words' or something because my Mum felt it necessary to explain to me before we went that the people we were visiting weren't Christians.
I really took this piece of information on board. Imagine my parents' embarrassment when, upon being introduced to my Dad's friend, I promptly asked him, "Can I tell you about Jesus?"
Yeah, I totally rocked when I was 6.
4. obewan said the following at 12:56 PM on May 19:
As one person who has had the crap beat of the sides of brand new cars, I don't know who to side with on this one. There are probably more inconsiderate boobs who are car door denters than there are double parkers.
I won't take up two spaces, but I WILL walk to get away from door dents. In the end, it is all in vain though. Dents WILL happen. It is only a matter of time.
I went a full year on my current new car. Then at church last Sunday, this octogenarian woman pulled in next to me, and had a 1/4 mile of space - just enough for her to FLING her door as wide as it would go and for the very edge of her door to catch my pristine door. (I was sitting in my car when it happened) I had to smile out of respect, but I wound up grinding my teeth as I saw the damage. It would help if some people had a brain, but she probably did and just lost it.
5. BDB said the following at 1:02 PM on May 19:
Besides, it's better to use a blowtorch to cut their car along the parking space line and fit the part you cut off into the space on the other side of their car.
Seriously, though, I always park way, way out at the end of the parking lot, preferably under a shade tree. Walkng is good exercise. And it keeps those people from scratching my car.
Though I'm very tempted to go up to people who are parked in the fire lane while someone else runs in and advise them a tow truck is on the way...
6. Dan Gill said the following at 1:18 PM on May 19:
Ouch! That left a mark, I'll bet. It did for me, too.
7. Trisha in AR said the following at 1:47 PM on May 19:
I ditto Lissa's comment....
what a touching story. Thanks so much for sharing.
8. Taylor said the following at 1:48 PM on May 19:
I too must say that this post made me cry. It is very touching to see grown men hear directly from God via the lips of babes. I must say Mr. Jeffries, that this is a touching post that I'll remember for some time as I interact with impressionable children underfoot all the time. Well done sir. Well done.
Taylor
ps - would you like some of these fries?
9. Ronnica said the following at 1:51 PM on May 19:
We've all been there...I'm so glad that when you were called out on it, you did the right thing. I'm afraid I'd be more likely to defend myself (somehow).
10. Dan Gill said the following at 2:33 PM on May 19:
I should have said this earlier. My best example of this was when my sweet little 5-year-old daughter saw someone driving very badly and yelled, "You idiot!" I heard myself loud and clear there.
11. Rachel said the following at 3:05 PM on May 19:
Sheepish confession: I've taken up two spaces before! See, we have this HUGE truck with HUGE doors and I have a carseat in the backseat. In order to get my child (with carseat) out of the backseat, I have to open BOTH of my side doors, and if someone parks too close to that side, it's impossible to put the carseat back in! So, I guess I'm just asking that the next time you see a vehicle like mine, taking up multiple spaces, (I promise I always try to find a spot far from the front anyway) imagine little me wedged in between those doors and your car, trying in vain to lift my (sweetly chubby) child and her carseat into place without denting the side of your car in the process! :)
12. Paxton said the following at 3:11 PM on May 19:
BDB -- xkcd! :D
I'm still thinking about this post...I don't know what I think yet. Hmm...thanks for being thought-provoking. ^_^
13. Paxton said the following at 3:13 PM on May 19:
I will just say -- human revenge is of course a waste of everyone's time, and foolish. Nevertheless, loving someone is different than indulging them.
14. JenR said the following at 4:27 PM on May 19:
This brings to mind a similar experience with some friends - and a lumbering Explosion of a vehicle that was taking up two-but-not-quite spaces. My friend's tiny sedan easily squeezed in the remaining space. We went to dinner, enjoying our "so there!" success of finding a spot in the crowded lot.
Until the owner of the two-parking-spot vehicle mysteriously appeared at our table, asking if we would be so kind as to move our car because his wife had a stroke and needed extra room to get into the vehicle. Which is why he parked as he did.
Not only did we feel sheepish at discovering this (how do you say "but you're mean for taking two spaces!" to a stroke victim?), but we've since pondered how in the world that he knew it was us. (We're guessing he watched us out the window of the restaurant - that's the only reasonable explanation).
So, not out of the mouths of babes, but certainly a lesson to be learned.
(And yay for xkcd. Perhaps I shouldn't admit that I immediately recognized BDB's reference, but I guess I can't hide my nerdliness).
15. K.L. said the following at 4:52 PM on May 19:
You know, it's funny that you would post that, because just this past Wednesday, my best friend had the same problem. Sorta. She and I and another friend were on our way to Bible Study that night, and when we arrived, she unintentionally did a rather poor job of parking the car. Both tires on the driver's side were probably an inch or so over the line. She didn't realize this, though, until we got out. But since we were running a bit behind schedule, she didn't bother fixing it. After Bible Study was over, we returned to the car only to find a big truck parked just inches away from the driver's side door. Needless to say, my best friend wasn't too thrilled about this. She just barely had room to get in. I think she got the driver's point, though. :)
16. BDB said the following at 5:54 PM on May 19:
>>BDB -- xkcd! :D<<
Heh, heh, heh...
17. BDB said the following at 5:57 PM on May 19:
I couldn't find the cite in the time allotted!
18. Thomas Jeffries said the following at 6:11 PM on May 19:
BDB -- Was this what you were looking for? http://xkcd.com/562/
19. Rachael said the following at 6:44 PM on May 19:
So cool!!!! "God can take care of him!" Yep! God can deal with it if that's His will...
20. Rachael said the following at 6:47 PM on May 19:
Someone wrote: "Yeah, I totally rocked when I was 6."
I think I had a sense of bravery, too, when I was younger...I hope to have kids someday and look forward to learning from them. I think having kids would also make me more careful with my actions and words, knowing that little ears and eyes could be nearby...
21. Leah said the following at 7:18 PM on May 19:
I have to admit, I'm confused about what Thomas did wrong and why his son was so distressed. He parked in a 'spare' parking spot. How is that "teaching" someone a lesson? The other guy, taking up so much space, would presumably have enough space to back out without damaging his car.
If your car fits into a legal parking spot, why not park there??
(And xkcd is awesome.)
22. BDB said the following at 7:19 PM on May 19:
Mr. Jefferies (#18) has the cite!
23. Texas Craig said the following at 9:17 PM on May 19:
My thoughts on this come down to a matter of the heart. If your heart's motivation is to stick it to the guy taking up two spots, then I agree with your son. If your motivation is to get a spot close by and you don't care if that guy doesn't like you parking that close to him, then I think its totally fine to pull into that spot, even if it is hard to get out and even if you know it will irritate the guy.
While I believe completely that revenge is wrong and vengeance is left to God, I also do not think we are obligated to accommodate people in their selfishness and wrong actions. So, if it were me, I probably would have pulled my car into the spot and chuckled to myself about how close it is to the other guy's car (knowing full well that it didn't matter to me, but might to him). I wouldn't be angry or vengeful about it, though.
That's my $.02.
24. Texas Craig said the following at 9:20 PM on May 19:
In regard to JenR's comment about the stroke victim, I think that is far less likely today where every public establishment is required to have parking for the disabled with wide spots on either side for this very reason.
25. the most frequent Kate said the following at 5:13 AM on May 20:
how sweet!
When I was little I used to make the biggest stink to get my dad to wear his seatbelt... and because of me he got into the habit!
26. BDB said the following at 11:10 AM on May 20:
In California, disabled spaces tend to be open. The fine for parking in a disabled space is much higher than, say, driving 80 mph on the freeway.
Imposition of Fine: Unlawful Parking in Disabled Space
42001.13. (a) A person convicted of an infraction for a violation of Section 22507.8 shall be punished as follows:
(1) A fine of not less than two hundred fifty dollars ($250) and not more than five hundred dollars ($500) for the first offense.
(2) A fine of not less than five hundred dollars ($500) and not more than seven hundred fifty dollars ($750) for the second offense.
(3) A fine of not less than seven hundred fifty dollars ($750) and not more than one thousand dollars ($1,000) for three or more offenses.
At 92, with several joint replacements, my grandmother has a placard. When I drive, I forget she has it. One time I was driving them and said aloud, "Hmmm...now to find a parking spot."
Grandma said, "Oh!'" And started rummaging in her purse. She pulled out the disabled placard and said, "This will help!"
27. Some Dude said the following at 11:12 AM on May 20:
"But Dad, God can take care of him!"
snark
But God's not taking care of him! That's why we have to do it. Gracious God giving sinners a chance to repent...grumble grumble.
/snark
28. BDB said the following at 11:37 PM on May 20:
frequent Kate (#25) wrote:
>>When I was little I used to make the biggest stink to get my dad to wear his seatbelt... and because of me he got into the habit!<<
Seatbelts...why don't people wear seatbelts? I just don't get that.
I was a bus driver once - driving my fellow college students - when one of them refused. I decided we would wait to head home until after he complied. It was quite uncomfortable.
I saw another incident when someone, I think it was their spouse, nagging them to put their seatbelt on, and an argument that included the suggestion, "I don't care what happens to me."
So...and this may sound mean...I usually first cheerfully show them where to plug it in.
If they say something haughty like, "I don't wear seatbelts!" I nonchalantly say, "Oh, I don't care about you - I just don't want my dashboard damaged if I have to stop fast."
So far, they have all complied!
(After a moment of shocked silence.)
29. Christopher from Albuquerque said the following at 12:34 AM on May 21:
God is always "taking care of them," in the sense that He is sovereignly in control of all that happens. That is *not* to say that we should never stand up against sin (not at all)-- but Scripture is also clear that the sins against which we should standing most strongly are our *own* sins (I'm preaching this to myself!).