I Quit Facebook
by Ashley Ramsey on 03/26/2009 at 1:34 PM
I know Suzanne has already blogged about today’s article, but I’m going to add my $.02. (I hope it's not overkill.)
I recently deactivated my Facebook account. It was freeing. Freeing because I didn’t have to respond to the 20 something wall posts that had accumulated on my page. Freeing because I’m no longer tempted to sneak a peek at my page during work time. But it also freed me to pursue real relationships. Maybe you have energy to maintain all your Facebook friendships and have an active social life, but I don’t.
Unlike Tim and Suzanne, my relationship with Facebook wasn’t so much a detriment to my relationship with God as it was to my relationships with other people. You know, real people not their profiles.
I moved to Colorado Springs
Over the past couple months I have slowly identified my Facebook motives: loneliness and laziness. When I’m checking out people’s pages and writing on their walls I have a false sense of connectedness. (I’m not trying to discredit all electronic communication. I think emails and sometimes Facebook messages are genuine ways of connecting.)
But for me, it had created a false feeling of community. I needed to shut my Macbook and call a friend for coffee.
Tim Sweetman admits, “As the day progressed, I found myself talking to people more through technology than face-to-face.” Like Tim, I had more essay length emails with long-distance friends than I had conversations with face-to-face friends. That’s changing. And it’s draining at times since most of my face-to-face friends are relatively new and new friendships require work. But the reward of real relationships is worth the work.
What about you? Does Facebook enhance your friendships or weaken them?
1. Christina (in green) said the following at 1:46 PM on Mar 26:
With the amount I use facebook, it enhances.
I'm not a facebook junkie. I'm a boundless junkie =p
The interface is really cumbersome and frankly, there's just more people putting stuff up that I really don't care about. Like the girl from high school who made a mr. potato head with her dinner one night.
Yeah, cute, but I don't really talk to her anymore, so...
However, the people that I DO still talk to, its probably one of the only ways they have to get a hold of me (though I wish they all had my phone number). As unreliable a method to reach me as it is, I've been doing better to at least check once a day so I don't miss the invites to events or miss the fact that one of my best friends is going to be in Orlando for the week... (it was my honeymoon week, so I'm not too bummed on missing her, but STILL).
I'm just not addicted to it. So, for now it is an enhancement tool. Give me face-to-face any day, though!
2. Ammie said the following at 2:00 PM on Mar 26:
I have found Facebook to be an enhancement in my case as all of my friends and family reside is states other than the one I am in! It is wonderful to be able to catch up with them in this way and see pics, make comments, etc. and feel connected to them though we are apart. For a lot of my frineds/family calling is not always a good option as they are not even in the same time zone as I am...family in Japan, friends in California, Texas and Australia. The differing time zones often make it difficult to connect by phone @ times that fit both my schedule & theirs. On the occassions when we do talk by phone they are long lengthy conversations that are treasured. But in the interim, Facebook provides a place for us all to connect and keep up with each other in the day to day. I check min about once or twice per day and I only keep up with about 25 people, though my friends list is much longer. Those top 25 are the ones that I am truly connected with.
3. BDB said the following at 2:00 PM on Mar 26:
Do you think the technology is an impediment, or could it be that your recent engagement is pushing you to re-think your identity?
One of the first people from my high school who "friended" me deactivated her account soon after. I noticed because I only had a handful of friends, and the number went down. But I had one message from her - it was still there but with no picture and no ability to click on it.
A few months later, she showed up again, and began re-friending people I knew. I asked what happened, thinking it was a technical problem.
It seems that as she reconnected with people from high school, she realized that she had become a much more committed Christian, and now would never hang out with some of the people she hung out with in high school. The shock of that recognition hit her pretty hard.
As someone who has friends around the world, technology is really the only way to maintain a connection, pray for their missionary work, etc. If I were to only interact with people face-to-face, it would cut off people on four continents.
I'm not maintaining the connection just so I can sleep on their couch when I go visit their country the next time. But it definitely broadens my world to see the occasional status update in Swedish.
It has significantly increased communication with my sister and cousins spread around the country. It's kind of fun to comment on pictures of my nephew in real time with her mom friends.
4. Rachael said the following at 2:02 PM on Mar 26:
Perhaps enhance. For one thing, it allows me to keep in touch even if ever so slightly with people I otherwise wouldn't. That said, I realize facebook and the way it's used has its negative aspects as well.
5. Dr. Ransom said the following at 2:14 PM on Mar 26:
Back after I graduated from college -- when Facebook was still limited to specific colleges' students -- I deactivated my Facebook profile. But a few years ago I brought mine back, though I'm rather ruthless in several areas:
- Friend requests. If I haven't corresponded with a person at least once in a non-Facebook venue -- whether that real or cyber -- I'm not sure what the point is.
- Group invitations. I don't really get the point of "1,000,000 STRONG" groups. I've toyed with the idea of starting a group called "1,000,000 STRONG against 1,000,000 STRONG groups."
- Games and other external applications. This is the kicker. I don't need to "save the Earth," be part of "mob wars" or have my own virtual pet whatever-it-is. Those things seem not to last very long anyway. The only external accessories of value seem to be Flair and Superpoke. I've been known to use the Christmas "gift"-giving application too.
Though Facebook can be too virtual-reality based, to an unhealthful level, many of my friends are long-distance -- including my fiancée, for the next two months and 65 days. Facebook offers a time-efficient way to keep track of what they're doing, in ways that I simply wouldn't have the time to do or the ability to do in real life.It's like anything, even good things, in a Christ-follower's life -- without moderation, and intentional emphasis on the only perfect Friend, it can become an addiction and a time-waster.
Finally, somehow, whether you're keeping up with a friend in real or virtual life, surely this Proverb perfectly relates:
6. P&P said the following at 2:16 PM on Mar 26:
I was discussing this topic with a friend this past Sunday. She had recently been ill and "discovered" Facebook (sue us, we're old). Once she recovered, she didn't de-activate her account, but realized that she didn't need it any more.
I told her that I only check my profile it once a month tops. It was fun at the beginning but then I realized I cared more about someone on the other side of the world than I did my own neighbors.
7. Mac said the following at 2:20 PM on Mar 26:
I made a cross country move recently, as well, and I've found that Facebook's really helped me make new friends here. I add new aquaintances right away, and by staying aware of their status updates throughout the week, I'm given a springboard for conversation when I see them againin real life:
"0h, so I saw that your baby started crawling this week!"
"Hows the renovations going?"
"Did you have a fun time visiting your sister this weekend?"
It's really been helpful for a shy gal like me.
8. DannieA said the following at 2:21 PM on Mar 26:
I used to have a myspace and facebook....I deactivated myspace....I only needed one forum to keep in touch with people that don't live near me.
I'm not deprived of social life, because I only use facebook at nightish and fleetingly....if I didn't have most of my friends from out of state on there I wouldn't have it still. Phone calls don't work very well due to time differences and such....I'm also prone to want to be outside and communicating with 'real live' people if not I get depressed. However, I can see how prolonging youir activity on facebook can lead to a decline in outdoor social life...I just couldn't do that....and as for my job, I work in a school....facebook is a banned website to go to from any computer LOL so taht's not a problem.
9. DEH said the following at 2:34 PM on Mar 26:
I think Facebook enhances my friendships. Some of my closest friends live several hours away, and Facebook is the only way I can connect with them on a regular basis. We do see each other a few times a year, but we use Facebook to keep in touch between meetings. Also, while I have several Facebook "friends" who I never see and rarely talk to, I don't keep up with their profiles or wall chat with them or anything (I have them on the fewer notifications list). I only really keep up with a handful of close friends.
I think part of what I like about Facebook (and even email) is that I am far better at communicating through the written word. It just comes naturally to me. I am horrible on the phone, and while I would love to actually see my friends more often, sometimes that just doesn't happen. So often, it's either Facebook or nothing. I'd much rather have Facebook than nothing.
10. Tamara (from Canada) said the following at 2:35 PM on Mar 26:
In my experience, for the most part, Facebook has enhanced my freindships. Most of my friends have rather busy lives right now and so we don't see each other as often as we would like. Facebook is a way to keep up with what's going on with one another between the times we see each other. We refuse to let it take the place of face-to-face communication, but it definitely makes it easier to keep up, so when we do get together we don't feel nearly as disconnected as if we just hadn't known what was going on with each other for the past couple of weeks.
I agree that we must be careful that Facebook, and other forms of online communication, don't become more important than and take the place of face-to-face communication, but I think that for some people they are quite beneficial and helpful in their friendships.
11. Katie said the following at 2:58 PM on Mar 26:
I have a myspace site instead of a facebook, but am certain that they are similar.
I can see your point about the false sense of connectedness/elevated ego... ie as if my personal life is actually that interesting to other people. My main goal for the website is to maintain a connectedness with people that I don't see on a regular basis. I do, however, feel an eerie drawing to check and see what people think of my page.
12. BDB said the following at 3:22 PM on Mar 26:
I just remembered something I read in one of Dr. Dobson's books years ago. It was a warning to new fathers that their wives could get quite frustrated and depressed when the challenges of raising small children created isolation and loneliness in their lives, along with a lack of opportunities for adult conversation.
I can see why moms (like my sister) gravitate to it. When the kid is sick, they post on their status that they won't make it to the park. This is followed by a chorus of "we'll miss you" from other people.
Hence the facebook group: not now, mommy is facebooking...
Aside from missionaries, I also see how families in the military use it differently. They've got friends spread out all over the place. People they befriended when they were stationed in Okinawa, though now they are back in the states somewhere. Maintaining those long-term friendships seems to help a lot while they go a year or 18 months with their husband deployed overseas.
And since the military is now so good at providing Internet for the troops, even when phone calls are not practical, they're able to share pictures and things much more easily than even e-mail. Their wife can put up all the pictures of the kid's birthday party, and dad can look at it when he gets a day with a good Internet connection so he's not stuck merely downloading via e-mail.
When people go on a missions trip, they can usually get a fast enough connection to at least update their status and let everyone know they arrived safely, even though phone calls are more difficult from places like Cambodia. Not to mention expensive.
13. Kellie said the following at 4:16 PM on Mar 26:
I admit I'm a bit of facebook/mypsace addict. But having a 6 month old and living at least 30 minutes from most of our friends (who mostly do not have kids), it's really the primary way I stay in touch with friends these days.
14. Texas Craig said the following at 4:33 PM on Mar 26:
It is definitely an enhancement for me. I actually got on because another friend of mine who is a Christian encouraged me to use it as an additional mission tool to share about God's working in my life. I am 20 years removed from high school and am a vastly different person than I was then. Because I became a Christian right before starting college, many of my high school friends had no idea of the direction my life had taken. So, my other friend encouraged me to use it as a tool to reconnect and share with people, and that is what I have done. I check it only every few days and I do not let it consume much of my time.
Like Dr. Ranson said, moderation is the key. Anything (other than our Savior or the work He has called us to) that starts to consume our time in an unhealthy way is dangerous, and should be addressed and dealt with. So, I am glad you felt the need to take some action. Perhaps your action is permanent, or maybe just for a season...
15. Jen said the following at 5:16 PM on Mar 26:
I'm loving these excellent articles on weaning off Facebook - thanks Boundless!
After my birthday a couple days ago, I decided to give myself a REAL GIFT -and thus, deactivated my Facebook account. Why you ask? Because it had become addictive and was eating up more time and mental energy than I wanted to part with. What I TRULY WANTED was to be spending more time with Jesus in worship, prayer and the Word. As the old adage goes, time is the most precious commodity we have - and you never get a second back! So we want to make sure we spend it in maximally meaningful ways. Besides, God will call us to account on the last day for how we used our time... and hey, if I can't justify an hour a day on Facebook to my minimally-wise self, then I'm definitely not feeling hopeful that the Lord will put His stamp of approval on it.
Of course, Facebook is a great way to reconnect with long-lost friends, and to stay distantly connected with acquaintances, but the temptation is always to look at the pictures, the videos, etc. of people we probably haven't exchanged a word with in years... which really equates to a massive waste of time and mental energy.
Besides, the Dunbar number holds true according to a study conducted by Facebook's own in-house sociologist: http://www.insidefacebook.com/2009/02/27/facebooks-in-house-sociologist-shares-stats-on-users-social-behavior/
Here's a good quote from that web article: “People who are members of online social networks are not so much ‘networking’ as they are ‘broadcasting their lives to an outer tier of acquaintances who aren’t necessarily inside the Dunbar circle,’” Lee Rainie, the director of the Pew Internet & American Life Project, says.
So what kind of adjectives might describe Facebook relationships for many casual users? Let's see.. self-serving... superficial... and disconnected from the deep interactions that human beings are hard-wired by God to crave and desire.
So, I am praising God today for freedom from Facebook! He told me to kick the habit a couple days ago, and I finally chose to obey. In exchange, this morning I enjoyed the sweetest "extra" hour in His Presence that I've had in quite awhile... worth it? You betcha! :-)
16. Jen said the following at 5:20 PM on Mar 26:
I'm loving these excellent articles on weaning off Facebook - thanks Boundless!
After my birthday a couple days ago, I decided to give myself a REAL GIFT -and thus, deactivated my Facebook account. Why you ask? Because it had become addictive and was eating up more time and mental energy than I wanted to part with. What I TRULY WANTED was to be spending more time with Jesus in worship, prayer and the Word. As the old adage goes, time is the most precious commodity we have - and you never get a second back! So we want to make sure we spend it in maximally meaningful ways. Besides, God will call us to account on the last day for how we used our time... and hey, if I can't justify an hour a day on Facebook to my minimally-wise self, then I'm definitely not feeling hopeful that the Lord will put His stamp of approval on it.
Of course, Facebook is a great way to reconnect with long-lost friends, and to stay distantly connected with acquaintances, but the temptation is always to look at the pictures, the videos, etc. of people we probably haven't exchanged a word with in years... which really equates to a massive waste of time and mental energy.
Besides, the Dunbar number holds true according to a study conducted by Facebook's own in-house sociologist: http://www.insidefacebook.com/2009/02/27/facebooks-in-house-sociologist-shares-stats-on-users-social-behavior/
Here's a good quote from that web article: “People who are members of online social networks are not so much ‘networking’ as they are ‘broadcasting their lives to an outer tier of acquaintances who aren’t necessarily inside the Dunbar circle,’” Lee Rainie, the director of the Pew Internet & American Life Project, says.
So what kind of adjectives might describe Facebook relationships for many casual users? Let's see.. self-serving... superficial... and disconnected from the deep interactions that human beings are hard-wired by God to crave and desire.
So, I am praising God today for freedom from Facebook! He told me to kick the habit a couple days ago, and I finally chose to obey. In exchange, this morning I enjoyed the sweetest "extra" hour in His Presence that I've had in quite awhile... worth it? You betcha! :-)
17. Todd said the following at 6:19 PM on Mar 26:
In November, I was involved in a fatal car accident.
As I waited in the police car for the investigators to question me, I had my sister update my Facebook status so people could start praying for me and the victim, who at the time was fighting for his life.
By the time I got to her house about 2 hours later, I had scores of encouraging notes from friends and been added to church prayer lists in at least three states.
Is Facebook superficial and just plain silly at times? Sure. But for me, it proved an invaluable tool that God used to help me deal with the worst night of my life.
18. Dan real-name said the following at 8:49 PM on Mar 26:
Unfortunately, addiction to blogs (such as this one) can be just dangerous as addiction to Facebook. The reason I like Facebook more than blogs is because I actually know the people I communicate with, and I can see their pictures, and the atmosphere is generally more positive and encouraging. On blogs such as here, it is mostly anonymous and there are frequent arguments over even the silliest things that don't matter in the end. My Facebook is much more personal and encouraging to me than ANY blog has ever been.
19. not a friend request said the following at 9:00 PM on Mar 26:
Seems like its trendy these days to be a facebook hater. Something so popular is bound to be disliked and perhaps overused as well. The fact is, however, that society is becoming increasing transitory and simply disengaging from tertiary communication does not mean that you will befriend folks in the frozen foods aisle. As a shy sort of person living in a particularly cold environment (Boston), Facebook is not a substitute but rather a means to sustain relationships both near and far. It's just a tool - liable to be abused but no less useful or capable of good. (Myspace, I think, is a different animal all together which seems to encourage false and prolific online identities and friendship with folks whom you have never actually met and probably never should.)
But facebook, hey, I say let's learn to use it in moderation (like all things) and not pull the plug to soon.
Just my .02.
20. Vanessa said the following at 10:10 PM on Mar 26:
The majority of my Facebook and MySpace friends are family members that I rarely get to see because they live 1500 miles away from me. I love being able to keep up with photos, especially of their little ones. I recently went to visit a cousin who moved cross-country and I hadn't seen her kids in over 2 years. She showed them pictures of me and reminded them of all the fun times we used to have...so when I drove up, they ran to greet me with open arms. Facebook made it possible!
Part of how I keep the "friending" in check is that if I have not met you in person, I will not accept a friend request (Boundless is the exception, of course!).
I also have recently moved around a lot for my job and Facebook is making it easier to reconnect with old friends that I wasn't able to hang out with for 8 months while I was on the other side of the state. It made re-integrating my life into Central FL much easier.
For that, I say "yay for social networking!"
21. Jake said the following at 10:25 PM on Mar 26:
I actually also deactivated my facebook account about a year and a half ago for the same reasons as Ashley. I ended up spending too much time on it waiting for so and so to reply back to me and such and writing on friends walls.. Then after I deactivated it I actually started seeing my friends more and talking face to face, hanging out, instead of typing paragraphs and sitting in front of a computer for two plus hours looking at a pictures of them.
But I know this is not the case for everyone. Just personally I would rather get to see and talk to my friends face to face or call them or a give them a quick email than what I was doing. It was a lazy bad habit I had created.
22. Renee said the following at 11:41 PM on Mar 26:
I feel like probably, once upon a time, people said the phone was evil and stopped good relationships from forming.
I don't know why everyone goes on about how bad facebook is. I think probably just because it is new.
In my life... facebook has proven an extremely useful tool for connecting, leading it to enhance "real" relationships, ones outside of facebook.
It's a tool... as with any tool, you can use it well or badly. Use it well; then there is no need to get rid of it.
23. Jorden said the following at 12:01 AM on Mar 27:
With me being homeschooled, my circle of friends is fairly small. By now most of my good friends have facebook accounts; so it's great to be able to keep in touch with them in between seeing them at church or when we hang out. I still call and text them, but sometimes it easiest to facebook them so I don't interrupt them if they're busy.
Somehow with family and like 30 people I met at summer camp, along with my friends. I just broke 100 FB friends. There are many I probably don't need, but once instance in particular has been kindof cool. There is this one girl who is friends with some of my good friends and I have only met her 3-4 times, but because I chat with her on facebook we are fairly decent friends. It's just cool to see a friendship that wouldn't be there otherwise.
Another cool instance is there is a girl I am interested in(dating-wise) and we probably wouldn't half as close to where we are in getting to know one another today without Facebook. Because she is pretty busy(and shy) and it has given us a great opportunity to get to know one another. That does not account for real life of course, but without facebook we would never have started talking at all probably.
All that being said, I think I do spend too much time on Facebook. Recently I got an award through the top friends application saying I was "most addicted to facebook." So I think that's a pretty sure sign right there, lol. My problem is that I spend a lot of time online anyways and even if I didn't have facebook then I would still probably be online. My computer is just where I like to relax, and I really need to start getting off of it more. So mine is less of a facebook problem and more of a computer problem in general. Facebook is just more fuel to the fire.
24. Jeff said the following at 6:57 AM on Mar 27:
My problem isn't Facebook, it is my blog. I spend about an hour each morning on it, when I should be reading my bible or praying. Funny thing is very few people read my blog! I decided yesterday to put it on the backburner, but I was back at it again this morning.
25. Trisha in AR said the following at 11:36 AM on Mar 27:
All of my church friends are on Facebook. But I don't get it. Why would I want to create a FB profile if I am seeing them each and every week? I know I would find myself consumed with viewing their profiles, so I made the choice not to get involved.
I will confess I have a myspace (yes, this still exist.haha) for family, distance relatives and old friends. If it's not broken, don't fix it, right? Of course, it was an addiction in the beginning but now it's just a tool to keep in touch on various occasions - it doesn't consume me.
26. Victoria said the following at 11:43 AM on Mar 27:
I'm a technology dummy and therefore have never used Facebook, Myspace, etc. But my husband and I are expecting our first child and I'm considering opening a Facebook account because of that, so that if any of my high school friends ever look me up, they can find out that we had a baby!
27. Marcus said the following at 4:05 PM on Mar 27:
I joined Facebook the summer before my freshman year, when there were only 8 universities on it and nobody knew what it was. I deactivated my account after a year and a half, and I have now been Facebook-free for over three years. Having been a part of it, I know what I'm missing, and having been off it for so long, I know it simply doesn't make a difference.
In terms of time, I agree with a previous poster who said that one can spend just as much time on this blog. However, I think it's reasonable to say that Boundless is a lot more edifying than Facebook.
Did I lose contact with a lot of people when I quit Facebook? Yes. Was I really maintaining a meaningful relationship with them solely through Facebook? Probably not. Can I get back in touch with my old friends via other means? Yes. Can I now devote my relational attention to people with whom I regularly speak and spend with? I think much more than I could when I was on Facebook.
I don't think Facebook is evil. I just think it is unnecessary. For those of you who want to keep Facebook, go for it. For those of you who want to quit but are hesitant, take it from three years of living without Facebook, you'll hardly miss it.
28. BDB said the following at 6:56 PM on Mar 27:
I think that older people use facebook differently - more like e-mail with pictures. My local Christian radio station used it's facebook fan page to sent out a request for pledge-drive volunteers, so I'm going to go do that (in person) for a day next week.
29. Sandra said the following at 7:20 PM on Mar 27:
Don't be mad at Facebook. Facebook is just a tool. Like a Fax Machine or Telephone. Seriously it is. Guns don't kills people. People kill people... I was trying to be funny and make a point.
Anyway...
Some things I've discovered about Facebook:
That some of my friends were single, separated or divorcing.
That some of my friends were straying from God.
I never would have known this by myself. But now I know, and I can encourage them to return to God, in a Christ-like way on Facebook.
30. KJ said the following at 7:20 PM on Mar 27:
An interesting thing happened to me on Facebook a few weeks ago - I got a friend request from someone from my high school graduating class, and this was NOT someone that I had considered a friend. (To be blunt, she had treated me like dirt from elementary school right on through graduation.) I let the friend request sit for awhile, not knowing whether to decline or accept, not knowing whether the request meant anything to her or was just an effort to "friend" our whole class, and whether I even wanted to associate with this individual, when my mom said something that made it crystal clear: "You have Jesus. She doesn't." I accepted the friend request. I'm not going to say we're best friends now, but a lot has changed in the decade-plus since graduation, and if we ever have a class reunion, it's safe to say the claws will be safely retracted. Meanwhile, I have opportunities to share my faith with her (and other members of the class) again, even through nonsense like those narcissistic "25 things" posts. I call that a good thing.
31. it's not just FB said the following at 9:29 PM on Mar 27:
Well, today is the first day I am on this blog. But it's interesting to read everyone's comments. I didn't realize how common FB distractions really are...I thought it was just me. I deactivated my account a couple months ago, after spending wasteful hours looking at pictures and random events in other friends lives. It can be especially tempting since I live in the US and most of my friends and family are in differents parts of the world/states. I am at a transition/waiting period in my life right now, and I can get antsy resulting in my curiosity about what my friends are now doing. In addition I would constantly compare myself to them. And as if I am not already very self-critical, this would deflate my self-esteem incredibly. I believe the Holy Spirit began showing me two things through this: 1. I cannot put myself in a position where I compare who I am with others - God is doing something with me as I avail myself to Him. Being on FB all the time with a self-critical attitude is certainly not availing myself to Him. 2. Even though these people are dear to me, God has brought me into a new stage of my life. A new place, with new people. And if I keep holding onto the people that God allowed to be close to me for a particular season of my life, then I won't be able to fully embrace those people that God has for me in this season of life.
Thus, I deactivated my account, and yes as the others have stated it is freeing. I am still in the same stage of life - and sometimes feel incredibly lonely, but I hope I can learn all God is teaching me through this. But another point, as can be expected, because I struggled with putting limits on FB time, you can imagine that my self discipline with respect to email, and general web surfing, tv watching is just the same. It's not as easy to cut those things off, as it was to deactivate FB. Does anyone have any advice? I know God has called me to give Him this part of my life...but it's so easy to fall back into a bad routine when things are tough. I know this is long, not sure if anyone will read it, but it sure is cathartic (spell?).
32. Joy said the following at 10:13 PM on Mar 27:
I must admit, I am completely addicted to facebook. I don't have many friends, and being a homeschooled teenager, it's hard for me to keep up with people I only see every few months without using the internet. I agree with what you said, "When I’m checking out people’s pages and writing on their walls I have a false sense of connectedness." That probably applies to me, too. Thanks for posting this. I saw the link to Tim's post and then to yours; I have never been to this site before. But I can assure you I will come back to this site. It seems to be full of good, uplifting things to read, as opposed to sites that have basically nothing to offer. God Bless!
~Joy
33. Rachael said the following at 10:20 PM on Mar 27:
Cool thing:
One day, a few months back, out of the blue, or, I'd like to think, perhaps pushed by God, a facebook friend of mine (who I knew in real life several years back during part of my overseas life) sent a message to three of us, because she viewed us as "religious and/or spiritiual women". She's struggling with her beliefs.
I've communicated a bit with her and gave her the e-mail of someone whose faith I admire and who came to faith at a later age and who can identify with her a bit. They each wrote each other once on a deep level. (I just found that out today; yay!!!)
I don't know if she'll come to the true God at the end of the pursuit, if the pursuit continues to come back at times in her life, but I'm so glad she even considered me as a person to contact over facebook. Why did she have the idea that I'm religious or/and spiritual? I'm not sure. Maybe it was something on facebook or subconscious observation years back, who knows...
Anyway that is very exciting and I hope God will draw her to myself.
34. Rachael said the following at 10:31 PM on Mar 27:
oops! of course I meant 'himself', not 'myself'. But I already submitted my comment...
35. Leah said the following at 5:01 AM on Mar 28:
I fasted for 40 days away from Facebook & myspace a couple years ago. It was great to focus on my relationship with God and the friendships around me. So I know I could live without it.
That said, I would say that Facebook enhances my life quite a bit. My boyfriend lives 25 miles from me and between my work schedule and his, we only see each other 2-3 times a week on average. He's in a financial crisis and can only afford a few minutes for his phone, so we use the chat feature quite often to save money. Also, it's easier to read emails on Facebook (in my opinion) than hotmail, especially since you can see the previous messages.
I just moved an hour away from all of my friends to be closer to the boy. I would like to maintain many of those friendships despite the distance and lack of time to connect in person. Also, I have several friends in different time zones and across the world. It's not like we couldn't talk on the phone or Skype, but often it's hard to coordinate times with people's schedules. I've had many opportunities to chat and even pray for friends that are far away, using the Facebook chat feature. Plus, it's great to see pictures of people you love as they start having babies and all that. I've also found it a good way to start to get to know people in my new church. I find out more about them and vice versa - makes conversation so much easier!
I would say the best feature of Facebook for me is that it's the best way to disseminate information about my life very quickly to a majority of my people (who are spread out all over and that I do truly love) without using up a zillion text messages or phone calls. Makes it a ton easier than repeating myself 100 times - they just read it on Facebook, so they can bring it up in conversation at a later date. As a writer, I can share my work with others to encourage and inspire them. In a way, it's kind of like a blog - only you can see snippets of everyone's blogs at once.
I agree with the person above who stated that the written word is their preference. I'm visual, so seeing it all right there upon log-on helps me know who to bless with encouragement, what's going on at what time, and why Shawna didn't answer her phone....maybe it's not for everyone, but this user finds it most helpful.
ANYTHING can be carried way too far into the realm of unhealthy attention. TV, movies, music, books, hobbies....you can be isolated in many different ways. Sometimes it's good to be grounded and spurred on by the friends we have known and are getting to know.
And you CAN use Facebook to set up dates with your friends in real life. Which I do. :)
36. Sophie said the following at 6:19 PM on Mar 28:
When guys intent message and call me, "Babe." But don't even talk to me when they see me at the coffee shop there's something wrong. I'm sick of my online "friends" who in reality only say hello when I have a witty status update or they feel a bit lonely. This isn't how it should be.
37. Christopher from Albuquerque said the following at 2:08 PM on Mar 29:
It's not just FB (#31),
I read your comment and was reminded of a post on one of my favorite blogs, Take Your Vitamin Z ("Z" for Zach Nielson, the music leader at my church). I pray that this post will be helpful to you:
Shaun Groves:
On your first day on the other side of the grave, do you think you’ll look back on this life and be flooded with gratitude for hours spent watching episodes of American Idol and Lost? Do you think you’ll look back fondly on the effort and money spent remodeling the kitchen? Do you think you’ll be glad you were up-to-date on the juicy details of celebrity lives? Will you be thankful for the hours, days, weeks, years you lived feeling victimized and sorry for yourself? Will you regret not spending more time at the office? Will you wish you had been more of a people pleaser? Will you miss your caffeine, porn or Facebook?
Me neither.
I also left a comment on the blog after that post:
This is why I have radically cut down my time watching TV. Next, the internet!
Earlier generations (such as those of the Puritans, Jonathan Edwards, Charles Spurgeon, C.S. Lewis, and so on) had a spiritual depth and seriousness that is too often lacking among Christians today. I can't help but think ever-present media is one reason for the difference between Christians of the last forty years and Christians of earlier times.
I want the depth of relationship with God that those earlier brothers and sisters had. I will never have it, though, if I don't seek Him with more seriousness-- and that means saying "no" to a constant barrage of media.
38. Dave Beldon said the following at 3:29 PM on Mar 29:
I think facebook is helpful in how it allows me to email without keeping up with changing addresses, invite people to parties and share pictures. It can be a real time waster and can contribute to feeling discontent with my life (no one post pictures of themself alone again on a Tuesday night). But overall just like anything else in this world it can be a great thing if used correctly.
39. J.T. said the following at 9:04 PM on Mar 29:
Does anyone else find it a little bit ironic that Boundless has seemingly declared an all out war on social networking websites and has a "Be Friends with Boundless on Facebook" link its website?
40. Rachael said the following at 11:30 PM on Mar 29:
someone wrote: "I want the depth of relationship with God that those earlier brothers and sisters had."
It's interesting. I'm not well-read on our earlier brothers and sisters, but I do think some of them had a deep faith that they really felt, and at times, didn't feel. But either way, it was something deep and precious to them, even when times were tough. Or something...
Just today I went to my old church where we sang "Help My Unbelief". Interesting title right? It was written by John Newton. I didn't know he wrote that song, but then there are many things I don't know. You can find the words and an audio sample on the RedMountain Music website.
Then I came across another song about unbelief - by Isaac Watts, called, "O Help My Unbelief".
I'm not a hymnwriter expert or Puritan guru or know it all on all these people of the past. But it's very neat to me when it seems people express vulnerability in their faith or when they really seem to 'get it', or, want to 'get it'. It's so special.
Maybe over the coming years, if I'm granted years, I'll get to know more thoughts from those whose faith is now their eyes. (Recently I've enjoyed the "faith shall be my eyes" part of the Chris Tomlin song "I Will Rise" :) ).
41. It's not just FB said the following at 7:26 AM on Mar 30:
#37 Christopher,
Thanks for that post! I have been feeling this way for the past few months. Sometimes I wonder why wasn't I born at a time earlier than this, I think that it may have been easier to love God without all this constant vying of our attention through the media. It probably wasn't - most likely each era has it's own enemies of our faith. I guess it all comes down to this - do we love God more than anything in this world, and if so, then what do we do to pursue Him with all our heart, soul and mind. It's hard, but worth it.
42. Ashley Harris said the following at 7:54 AM on Mar 30:
J.T.(39)
I think Ted was going for irony with his Facebook invite ;)
Also, I would hardly say we have declared war on Facebook. Social networking is a good thing. My point was not that Facebook is bad, but that me using it to meet relational needs is bad.
BDB(3)
My fiance and I had a good laugh over your comment and then conceded that you're probably right.
43. Ted Slater said the following at 9:15 AM on Mar 30:
"it's not just FB" (comments #31 and #41) -- great comments. Thank you for sharing your insights here.
One thing I'd ask: Please be consistent with the letters that you put in the "Name" field when you comment. In your first four comments, you've used three different names. Maybe just pick one, so we can get to know you better. Or perhaps select a new one: Something medical-sounding could work.
Thanks for understanding. :-)
44. Lizzie said the following at 9:42 AM on Mar 30:
To the posters who say it's too easy for them to get addicted to Facebook: you could set yourself a limit, such as going on Facebook only two or three days a week. :)
45. April said the following at 2:57 PM on Mar 30:
I'm have a facebook account and myspace, which I haven't been on for like years, but I use my facebook account probably daily. I can go without checking everyone's status. :) I agree with number 19, its all in how you use it. I use facebook to connect with international friends and family out of state, to see pictures of their growing kids, and we catch up on the occasional moment. I don’t bother with the games, or extra tools, those things aren’t an interest to me. My very own Grandpa, who is 84, just got a facebook, so he can see pictures of his great grand kids and be updated on his grand kid’s lives. We all live states away and that has been a huge blessing. I find its better then the occasional email, which I still do, but it’s nice to see the pictures and be involved on a semi daily level. My sister just moved out of state with her two little girls and husband, we are all very close, and now via facebook, which she just got, we are able to communicate more frequently.
Its all about moderation and how you use it. I don’t accept friends I don’t know, or even are more a passing acquaintance. I even go through my friend list and if I haven’t spoken to them in a year or had communication with them, I delete. My fiancé has only 12 friends. I have a bit more then that, due to lots of moves, lots of family and international travel, but its been a blessing in my life, and has not “taken the place” of friendships, just reinforced ones already in place.
46. Rana said the following at 5:38 PM on Mar 30:
I am "disconnected" because I became so disturbed at how Facebook sapped the life out of some of my friends. One friend in particular updates her status constantly via mobile phone, and when I call her and try to have a real conversation (like we used to), I do all the talking because she is so preoccupied with her virtual world that she is Facebooking on her laptop during our entire conversation! Her end of the discussion consists of, "Hmmmm...." and "Ha ha! Okay...you don't know this guy, but he just updated his status, and it says..."
Why would I care? I don't have a problem with online networking, but many of the people who are involved in these sites eventually become so absorbed by them that they lose touch with reality.
47. BDB said the following at 8:36 PM on Mar 30:
Ashley Harris (#42) wrote:
>>My fiance and I had a good laugh over your comment and then conceded that you're probably right. <<
I'm not saying you folks need to change anything, of course.
But I do know plenty of people who rarely do anything with their facebook account. Or they have it set up to appear that they do nothing.
I'm just thinking of you friends in another state who will want to see wedding-dress shopping or whatever else they miss out on by being far away.
It does seem to be satisfying for people to change their status to "married" to their new spouse on facebook. Just remember to set it so that your status change is broadcast to everyone...
48. vanessa seed said the following at 12:40 PM on Mar 31:
to use or choose not to /how much or little/ is your choice.
i have found lost friends woth whom i exchange quips on a weekly / monthly basis - opting out is purely your perogative - my free and spontaneous vote is for yes- others act accordingly! best regards! totally stringless!!
49. Alise said the following at 2:03 PM on Mar 31:
I just wanted to let you know I did the same about a year ago now. I found I spent so much time on it that it seemed to be a major waste of time. Not only that but the fact that so many people can have access to your personal information in a small matter of time whether you want them to or not. I started a personal blog instead, and have set my privacy settings to private, so that I have full control over who can view the information. I need to invite my friends before the can access it.
50. brachialplexus (it's not just FB) said the following at 8:46 PM on Mar 31:
Ok Ted. Sorry I didn't realize the point of the "name"...I thought of it as more of a subject heading. As you can see I am new to this blogging thing, and it's comments. I do enjoy this site - and will be consistant with my name. =)