Layoffs and Survivor's Guilt
by Motte Brown on 02/11/2009 at 8:55 AM
With unemployment at 7.6%, and nonfarm payrolls falling sharply, it's likely you or someone you know has been "affected" (company lingo for "laid off"). But as a recent Times article notes, survivors of layoffs are affected too (even if it seems a bit casual to consider compared to the plight of the riffed).
Here are some ways survivors can be affected:
The terms psychologists toss around to describe these feelings include survivor's guilt (why him and not me?), survivor's envy (thinking you might be better off gone too) and emotional contagion (the tendency to pick up your laid-off colleagues' feelings of gloom and desperation). These feelings are with us in every recession, but as layoffs spread to more industries, people in all walks of life are increasingly experiencing them.
I've experienced a combination of these feelings as coworkers and friends have lost their jobs. There's a lot of "why him and not me?" and "feelings of gloom" for them as they try to pick up the pieces. However, both of these responses can be healthy.
The first gives me a renewed thankfulness for my job. The realization that my job just happens to be (for now) within Focus on the Family's strategic vision for the future is sobering. Meaning, it could just have easily been me that got laid off (not that it's like that with all layoffs).
The second has me empathizing with those that have been laid off. So when I meet them, I ask how they're doing, if I can help, and how I can pray for them. Which, according to Time, is what the "survivors" should do.
People who lose their jobs often feel ostracized, which is partly a function of how the still-employed, going through internal turmoil of their own, treat them. "Most people say nothing, most people are afraid of you," says Damian Birkel, a career counselor and founder of the nonprofit Professionals in Transition, which provides services to the unemployed. "For someone to come in and offer any type of support during what is the most awkward and embarrassing time you're going to have — that is a courageous act."
How have you been affected by the recession?
1. kaj said the following at 10:02 AM on Feb 11:
I'm thankful I even have a job.
What seemed to be, initially, a few months at a "temp" summer job has turned into over a year and a half of employment...and they have yet to send me home.
I hope to get "permanent" employment with the company. However, the decisions of my supervisors to do that is tied up in the usual corporate red tape. I lost one bid for a permanent position to an internal applicant (temps aren't considered as such). The trend at my company right now is they are not opening, let alone filling, vacancies.
I do have some friends, though, who have been laid off from all kinds of jobs.
2. Kate said the following at 10:15 AM on Feb 11:
Well, it doesn't seem like the best time to be in the other kind of unemployed situation, in which I'm just out of school and looking for my first "adult" job. It's hard to say how much the recession has or would continue to delay my finding employment, but I'm sure it isn't helping my chances!
3. Rachel L said the following at 10:41 AM on Feb 11:
I was just laid off this morning...these are scary times.
4. DEH said the following at 11:17 AM on Feb 11:
My dad lost his job back in December. My area is in the double digits as far as unemployment goes, so getting a new job is hard. He's seeing this as an opportunity to go back to school and get some new skills through a displaced worker program in my state. It's still hard, though, because my parents have a much smaller income than they used to, and my husband and I can only offer a little help as we aren't really established financially yet ourselves. My husband's job is fairly secure, though, so I'm grateful for that.
I'm trying to see this as an opportunity to learn to depend more on God.
5. Ambrosia said the following at 11:32 AM on Feb 11:
#3- Rachel L, I am so sorry and pray that God will continue to be your suffciciency....
I am still in school and although I will be graduating this summer, as far as I know,the recession hasn't really affected my field (medical). I am grateful to God because I have a job waiting for me already.
* Talk about survivors guilt, as I write this, I feel a little embarassed/ashamed? (don't know which exactly) that I have a job waiting for me. ( Will my fellow readers think I am boasting??? I hope not)
6. Trisha said the following at 11:58 AM on Feb 11:
Rachel L: I'm so sorry. I will pray for the Lord to open doors for you and bring you peace during this time.
I had hopes of completing my MBA this year, but now have put things on hold. As a single parent with no family, I thank Jesus for my job and the church family He has surrounded me with.
As our economy fails and the disappointments arise, it's clear to see our only hope is in HIM!
7. Marie said the following at 1:06 PM on Feb 11:
I don't know anyone personally that has lost a job yet. I'm graduating college in less than a year and I'm hoping I will be able to GET a job.
On the plus side, though, since companies can't afford to hire normal employees, there are an increasing amount of internships available, which are a good foot-in-the-door for when that company IS able to hire again.
8. khalil said the following at 1:09 PM on Feb 11:
I just quit my job of 10 years, mainly so I can focus on support raising for the position I will be taking in Beirut. The place I just left (operated by local government)is facing some cuts here soon, unpaid leave across the board, 3 days for admin level and 2 days for direct care workers.
I am very cautious saying what I am saying, as I don't want to take God out of the equation, but...I strongly feel that fundraising has been slow as a result of the economic uncertainty. Why take care of orphans overseas when you can't take care of your own child?
9. Scott said the following at 2:05 PM on Feb 11:
I've watched a lot of my co-workers get laid off- praise the Lord I've survived.
I haven't seen job cuts that have hit my friends, but a few of my friends are still looking for a job, and have been for months (I'm 23, so they're fresh out of school).
Tough times.
10. Rachel L said the following at 2:21 PM on Feb 11:
Ambrosia (#5) and Trisha (#6)...thank you for your prayers!
I hate to bring everything back to the "singleness" discussion, but...oh well. ;) One of my first thoughts when I left my boss' office this morning was something along the lines of "If only I were married..." I couldn't help but think about how different things might be if I had a husband to depend on. Sure, I'd still be unemployed, but I wouldn't be entirely dependent upon myself -- either for comfort or financial support.
In the early afternoon the Lord convicted me about those thoughts and I was struck by how much clearer the lessons of God's goodness and provision will be while dealing with this period as a single woman. Unable to look toward a husband, I will feel most acutely that I can only depend upon God...which should be my default mode but often isn't.
If I had a husband we would, obviously, still be entirely dependent upon God's provision. As a single woman, however, it'll be easier to cut through the trappings and realize where my true security lies.
God is good and gracious. Yesterday I was especially longing for a husband...today I am praising my Lord for my singleness as it will make me cling to Him even more. (Of course, that could just be your standard feminine mood swings. Hard to tell sometimes. *grin*)
So, just some musings I've had this afternoon following this morning's news.
Oh, and Ambrosia (#5)-- don't feel ashamed about your job! For goodness sake...it's a blessing. Enjoy it!
11. BDB said the following at 2:57 PM on Feb 11:
The first time I got laid off, I discovered that most of my work "friends" faded away, but my church friends remained steadfast. It brought home the meaning of this verse:
Luke 16:9 (New King James Version)
9 “And I say to you, make friends for yourselves by unrighteous mammon, that when you fail,[a] they may receive you into an everlasting home.
Some people choose to go drinking with their work buddies rather than invest time in things like volunteering as part of a church community. When they lose their jobs, they ALSO lose their social network. As I read somewhere a long time ago: don't fall in love with a corporation: it won't love you back.
12. Caroline said the following at 3:26 PM on Feb 11:
Rachel (10):
I am struck by your godliness in your situation -- and what a blessing to be reminded to lean on God despite the circumstances. You are truly an inspiration to this (single) college student, even though my job search won't start in earnest until next year.
13. Joshua Keirn said the following at 3:59 PM on Feb 11:
My job (and that of my wife, as we work at the same place) is not in immediate danger, as we work at a driving school and many (not all, but a large proportion) of our students are doctors'/"professionals'" children. That tends to buffet storms.
Many of our friends have had to adjust to large cuts in hours at their jobs.
A cousin lost his job when a GM plant closed on the east coast, and now he's trying to find work to make ends meet. He knew for about 3 months before his job actually ended, and didn't do anything during that time.
One benefit of being a poor, married college couple is that you don't necessarily worry about the economy crumbling if you don't have much to lose anyway.
14. Mrs. B said the following at 4:27 PM on Feb 11:
As a teacher I'm very lucky to have awesome job security! I see the way the recession is affecting my students, though. There are several who have had one or both parents laid off or given fewer hours of work. Even if my kids don't totally understand what's going on the stress at home is certainly affecting them. Most of my students are free lunch kids as it is so any chunk of income removed is near devastating for most of them. However, a local church is being AWESOME and giving free food (yes, *free*) to those kiddos to take home on the weekends. (What!? The Gospel being acted out in the public school system!? Crazy!)
It is also affecting my husband, a "survivor". But by surviving, not only is he taking on the responsibilities of those who've been laid off, but his company is tricking him into working at home so they won't have to pay him overtime (i.e. "have this ready before coming to work" and thus working 3 would-be overtime hours for free at home). I'm pretty sure he could raise a stink about that, but he isn't saying anything because no one wants to rock the boat these days.
Makes me wonder how many other companies are doing similar things to screw over their "survivor" employees...
15. KR said the following at 5:32 PM on Feb 11:
My company forced everyone to take 2 weeks unpaid leave in the next few months, and there will be no salary merit increases this year. Bummer. But, I get extra time off from work to take care of some personal stuff and help my family get ready for my brother's high school graduation. I'm very thankful that I still have a job and that my husband does, too.
My parents have also been affected. My dad's company forced his department to 32 or 36 hours per week for a few months. I think he's finally back to the regular full-time schedule now.
16. DannieA said the following at 6:13 PM on Feb 11:
Mrs. B...you must be tenured....
I saw many of my colleagues get their notices today...I'm a speech therapist and I am very fortunate taht my department did not slash our department, but we're all worried for our colleagues that may or may not come back...they always dragnet more than what they really end up not hiring back.
today was Blah!
17. Kelly said the following at 7:57 PM on Feb 11:
I do contract work - and the current contract finishes at the end of April.
I've therefore budgeted this entire year assuming I won't have work for up to 6 months. It means living WELL below my means right now, which actually isn't that hard given the hours I do. There's no time for anything else! ;)
(And why do I work the long hours? So I will NOT be the first to go if they make contractor cuts.)
18. Nick said the following at 8:58 PM on Feb 11:
First of all, I spent all of last summer searching for a job after being laid off by an automotive parts manufacturer. (Ambrosia, don't be ashamed. I noticed many times during the summer that medical work and manual labor were the two areas still consistently hiring. Give thanks to God that He has provided in this way!) I spent all summer trying to find a job in the city where I was, and it wasn't until I gave in and decided I needed to relocate, that God provided my job. In the fall, when the recession was really beginning to spread, I had just taken a very good position as a designer for AC systems, I did have some of that "survivor's guilt," or at least a strong sense of wonderment at "Why me? Why do I have a good job when so many others are losing out?" Around Christmas, I ended up changing departments from AC to furnaces. It was scary that night between hearing I wouldn't continue working where I was and interviewing for my next position. It drove me to the Psalms, where the psalmist cried out for mercy. By God's goodness, He did provide that position. Though I am still a long-term contract worker, I was extremely grateful twice last week, first when I kept my job when I saw people with more experience go, and also when my boss gave approval for me to go to some training that is usually not given to short-term contract workers. I now think I'm in the best job of my life, and I am so very grateful. While the road from last May to now has not been easy, I have seen God's hand at work, and once again I will declare that He is real, He is sovereign, and He is good!
19. Morgan said the following at 10:10 PM on Feb 11:
I graduated in December and praise God I was offered a job this week. But I would not take back the months I spent applying and not getting a single interview; it was a good test of my trust in the Lord.
20. Mrs. B said the following at 5:19 AM on Feb 12:
#16 - I work at an elementary school so the number of classroom teachers is contingent upon the number of students in order to meet standards for teacher/student ratio. I'm sure in, say, high school they might be cutting back on supposed "non-essentials", like the arts departments, and thus losing those teachers. And unfortunately in smaller departments, like speech therapy, that may be the case too. I'm so sorry that is happening at your school.
That's another thing I'm wondering - how the recession is hitting the education system as a whole. I am blessed to work in a district that isn't doing anything shady, unlike a nearby district that laid off teachers and blatantly ignored the student/teacher ratio so the administration could make more money (huge scandal - yipes!), so I'm not worried about simply being laid off since my district keeps the students' needs as priority. Unfortunately, I know it's not that way everywhere.
21. DannieA said the following at 2:00 PM on Feb 12:
No my job is 'safe' so far. The day they start dismissing many people under the special ed. umbrella (like speech) is the day that the state gets innundated with lawsuits, due to mandated services.
But it is horrible here...we'll see how it goes.
22. Emily said the following at 8:02 PM on Feb 12:
To #10 (Rachel L)
If you think that having a husband to depend on in these times would be nice, imagine if your husband were laid off and you had to find some way to make some income in order to continue paying the bills - and you have two kids under the age of 12 and a child getting ready to go to college, and not just State U - but Wheaton, or Northwestern - and Jr didn't qualify for a major scholarship.
I also know couples who are and have been out of work, so you can't assume that being a married woman and a mother married to a godly man is a golden ticket to freedom from the workforce.
You are right, however, God is gracious and the only one we are to depend on. I trust that you are being blessed as I am typing this. There is a better fit for you out there.
23. hxcjf said the following at 7:08 AM on Feb 15:
I've made a bundle of money. :) Gotta love these trends, and I just started managing investors' money.
24. Rachel L said the following at 12:22 PM on Feb 16:
Emily (22): I'm sorry -- I certainly wasn't trying to discount the additional worry that parents and spouses endure during times of economic crisis. I completely understand that families carry burdens that I do not!
I was merely trying, inadequately, to express the sense of being entirely alone in a time of difficulty. I know that married life isn't *easier* than single life -- whether in prosperity or times of need. The only difference I see is that, ideally, you have a partner with whom you face those difficulties. I suppose that perhaps the perception of that is naive. :)
25. IMO said the following at 1:40 PM on Feb 16:
"The only difference I see is that, ideally, you have a partner with whom you face those difficulties. I suppose that perhaps the perception of that is naive."
No, it's not naive. It's actually wonderful. I will have no shame in saying that going through hard times with my husband draws us closer to the Lord and to each other. Sometimes the hard times make some things sweeter and more joyful.
We're going through a tough time right now. May God be glorified! In our weakness, He is our strength. A unified and Christ-centered marriage is not an ideal, it is VERY possible to have.
hxcjf,
Your comment sounds like gloating ...especially since this post IS about Layoffs and Survivor's Guilt. If you are going to gloat, *gloat in the Lord (as in *boast in the Lord).