Blessed At Another's Expense?
by Ted Slater on 12/23/2008 at 2:19 PM
My little home theater (which doubles as a guest bedroom) is nearly done. A friend lent me his older projector. Another friend gave me a screen that he no longer needed. The audio system is something I bought a few years ago that I moved downstairs because it was taking up space in the family room. I had a spare DVD player.
All I needed was some cables. And if you know anything about audiovisual stuff, decent cables aren't cheap.
So after work I intended to stop by Best Buy to pick some up. As I was driving, though, I recalled that a Circuit City near where I live is closing, and is liquidating their stock.
Having a anticipatory sense that this might be the Lord's leading, I drove to the Circuit City and looked around. I was stunned to find all cables 70 percent off. This is what I picked up:
- A $200 HDMI cable for under $60.
- A $100 set of component cables for under $30.
- A $50 S/PDIF style digital coaxial cable for under $15.
- ... and a few other things.
My first reaction was that this was providence; the Lord was providing me a gift in the way I might give my daughters something trivial like princess stickers.
And then I thought about what others are losing in order that I might be blessed: The employees (who were extraordinarily unhelpful and inattentive) were losing their jobs, and the company was losing its profit.
Then I wondered about similar kinds of blessings. If I get a parking space near the door or the last piece of pie at the buffet, someone else doesn't. If I find a $20 bill fluttering on the ground, someone has lost their $20 bill. If I find a good deal on a HUD house, someone has likely been evicted from their home. If I marry a wonderful woman, some other guy doesn't get to.
Surely the Lord has His hands on the events of my life, even the seemingly meaningless ones. Why in His providence do I sometimes benefit at someone else's loss?
And more importantly, what should my attitude be when I am blessed in this particular kind of way? Maybe a sober thankfulness? Maybe, in light of my undeserved good fortune, open-handed generosity? Maybe with humility, knowing that the Lord in His providence may some day want to bless someone else through my loss?
Surely with the conviction that my loving Father's ways are not capricious, but simply beyond mine.
1. dasiopa said the following at 3:04 PM on Dec 23:
I was wondering who took the last piece of pie...
2. dana111 said the following at 3:04 PM on Dec 23:
Ted,
Thanks for this post. I was contemplating the blessings of the Lord today while riding around Norfolk, VA. I was going to pick up something from the store for Christmas, but I was lamenting about the lack of money in my checking account. This ungrateful attitude lasted for about 10 minutes, until I saw several homeless men wandering around the city's downtown area. After that, I began to thank God for His goodness. But, this made me feel guilty because I really don't know how to thank God for His provisions when I have a lot more "stuff" than other people. How do I maintain a attitude of Thanksgiving for God's faithfulness towards me when so many people are out of work, have no money, no home, no friends, no warm place to call their own? Is it okay to thank God that I am not as "bad off" as others??
I guess this is where humility comes in. It is only by God's grace that I have anything. As a sinner, I know that the only thing I deserve is Hell.
But, His faithfulness is great, and His mercy endures forever. So, I will be thankful for the gifts that God has given me while remaining humble and completely dependent upon His love. I will pray for and give aid to those who are less fortunate. I will always remember that if God does nothing else for me from now until the day I die, He remains faithful and worthy to be praised because He loved me enough to save me from my sins and from eternal damnation.
God Bless
3. Tami said the following at 3:04 PM on Dec 23:
I appreciate your thoughtfulness about this, Ted. It can be sobering. As you say, in such cases, we can somehow balance joy over God's fortuitous provision with gratitude and humility.
But one thing we can remember is, that God's mercies and blessings are unending. :) For example -- if you marry a wonderful woman, then God might have another *different* wonderful woman in store for another guy. I'm not married yet, so I'm proof of that statement! J/K!! :) So in such cases God's blessing on you might not *necessarily* be to your benefit at someone else's expense.
4. Texas Craig said the following at 3:04 PM on Dec 23:
Good post, Ted!
Too many people never get beyond the self-centered focus of "Wow, look what God did for ME."
I firmly believe our attitude is always to be one of gratefulness, whether good or bad. And, when we are blessed, it should always cause us to say "what can I do to bless someone else."
It reminds me of the Peanuts cartoon where Linus tells Charlie Brown about the incredible game he just saw, where the football team came from behind on a miraculous play and won the game at the last second. Linus is jubilant about it. In response, Charlie Brown simply asks "I wonder how the other team felt?"
5. Joshua Boyd said the following at 3:32 PM on Dec 23:
If you had looked at Blue Jean Cables (http://www.bluejeanscable.com/) you would have gotten the equal or better quality stuff for about the same amount of money (assuming that you only need 7 foot cables since 2 of the 3 you link to are 6.6 feet):
HDMI for 13.30
component 60.25
s/pdif for $15.75
So, it seems to me that you didn't really get a great deal at someone else's expense. Sure, Circuit City may be cutting their prices because they are in trouble, but their prices for cables are designed to rip you off in the first place. Blue Jean Cables use premium parts to build their cables and you can be certain that they expect to make profit from them, so they perhaps more accurately reflect fair prices.
For the more ambitious person, it is pretty easy to make the cables yourself (except HDMI or DVI) and you can by the same top quality parts easily.
Still, sober thankfulness is probably the best attitude to take when you benefit from someone else's misfortune, and open handed generosity is almost always appropriate.
6. Chris said the following at 3:37 PM on Dec 23:
Wow, Those are possibly the most thought provoking series of questions posed on here... I hope people really think them through and don't fall back on cliche responses.
7. Dave said the following at 3:37 PM on Dec 23:
Cables sold in retail stores typically have a ridiculous markup. It wouldn't surprise me that even at 70% off retail they were still making a good profit.
8. Jeffrey said the following at 3:38 PM on Dec 23:
Emily Dickinson, Success:
"Success is counted sweetest
By those who ne'er succeed.
To comprehend a nectar
Requires sorest need.
Not one of all the purple host
Who took the flag to-day
Can tell the definition,
So clear, of victory!
As he, defeated, dying,
On whose forbidden ear
The distant strains of triumph
Burst agonized and clear!"
9. Ted Slater said the following at 3:39 PM on Dec 23:
Joshua (#5) -- I'll be the first to say that the brand of cable I purchased from Circuit City (I better not write their name here, as they have a reputation for legal action against those who speak ill of them) is extremely overpriced.
Most of what you pay for is the brand name and the marketing that props up that brand name. They're decent cables, but I wouldn't pay 1/2 the retail price for them.
I guess what I'm saying is that you're right that you can buy the same quality cable for much less, and that the prices I paid are about what you'd pay for another brand of cable of the same quality.
It still feels good to say I only paid $60 for $200 cable! :-)
10. K.L. said the following at 3:47 PM on Dec 23:
Hmm... never thought of it that way before. I (FINALLY) just got offered my first job today - and believe me, I was ecstatic! At the same time though, I guess that means someone else has to start their search all over again. Good post.
11. (The Canadian) Andrew R said the following at 5:00 PM on Dec 23:
I was thinking about the same thing just minutes ago when I was doing some reading on trade agreements. I'm able to get cheap clothes because those who make them in foreign countries are paid next-to-nothing to make them. My Christmas shopping was easy on the wallet because stores are on their way out of business.
I had brunch on Sunday with relatives at an upscale restaurant in Toronto. Now, Sunday before Christmas, brunch, Toronto- you'd think it'd be packed. Not even close. Halfway at most. The mall it was in had few people shopping. It made me feel simultaneously blessed and saddened that I was able to enjoy what so many could not at this time.
Surely the Lord has His hands on the events of my life, even the seemingly meaningless ones. Why in His providence do I sometimes benefit at someone else's loss?
I don't know, but I wonder the same thing.
12. Read said the following at 5:27 PM on Dec 23:
http://www.monoprice.com/home/index.asp
As an IT professional I can't recommend the above site more. A friend of mine works at BB and they mark up their cables 400%!! A $100 at BB is $7 on monoprice.
13. Al said the following at 5:33 PM on Dec 23:
Ted, this is my attempt to love you as a brother help you save a buck. Actually 55 bucks.
Monster Cables are considered by many in AV circles to be way overpriced for dubious improvement, but the case is even stronger with HDMI cables. HDMI cables transmit signals that are completely digital, so they sort of work or they don't. If the cable is made well enough to handle current signals and function with no gross display issues or failures, no additional amount spent will improve the picture or audio quality.
The caveat is that if you need a longer length and are wanting to install that cabling into drywall and you want to futureproof for future signals, you may want splurge for high quality HDMI cables that can handle them. But if you don't need to do that at the moment, you could just grab cheap cables and see if they work and upgrade on the cheap in the far future.
Here are a few on Amazon that are dirt cheap- $2 to $6. I use the 6 ft one regularly and it works flawlessly. In fact, it works better than one I spent three times as much for.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000E8OVMQ/ref=ord_cart_shr?%5Fencoding=UTF8&m=A3E5K6GEFSI075&v=glance
http://www.amazon.com/Eforcity-Digital-Video-Cable-GOLD-PLATED/dp/B000UHQVOW/ref=pd_bbs_sr_4?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1230074794&sr=8-4
http://www.amazon.com/Eforcity-15FT-HDMI-CABLE-PLASMA/dp/B000UHTST2/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1230074858&sr=8-2
So if cheaper cables will work for you, you may want to return that HDMI cable if you're able and buy a cheap set from Amazon. Here's a bit more info comparing cheap cables with Monster's. The main failures of the cheap cables is in super-high-bandwidth future formats and at extremely long lengths.
http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/hdmi-cable-battlemodo/the-truth-about-monster-cable-part-2-268788.php
14. donna said the following at 5:39 PM on Dec 23:
Great post, this never comes to mind for me with the exception of finding money. Unless it's the obvious like someone losing their job as a means of the Lord giving me favor to gain the job.
So this is something to chew on as well as a great way to focus when I'm on the end of the loss, maybe God chose to bless someone in my loss which helps take the focus off of my loss and the other person and their need.
15. Ted Slater said the following at 5:40 PM on Dec 23:
Al (#13) -- I agree with you that Monster Cables are overpriced, and in typical scenarios no better than cheaper brands.
That said, please note that I purchased a 20-foot HDMI cable. For that length, I wanted something that could dependably deliver a 1080p signal. I think $60 is a fair price to assure the signal will make it over that distance.
16. BDB said the following at 11:47 AM on Dec 24:
Hmmm...I guess sometimes provision comes via three wise men, and sometimes it doesn't.
Last night I knocked over my laptop, breaking two flash memory sticks. One has a spreadsheet it will take days to rebuild.
I went to OfficeMax to get a new one. I had a little card for $10 off a $20 purchase. They had 8GB memory sticks on sale for $19.99. To get to $20, I bought some mints, bringing my purchase amount after discount to $13.
I'm not sure if God provided a good deal on the memory stick. Pehaps He just thought I needed a mint.
(You may have heard of the business etiquette rule: never refuse gum or breath mints.)
17. Chris said the following at 11:50 AM on Dec 24:
And then I thought about what others are losing in order that I might be blessed: The employees (who were extraordinarily unhelpful and inattentive) were losing their jobs, and the company was losing its profit.
Weren't the Best Buy employees losing out since you bought from a competitor? Didn't Barnes and Noble lose since you bought cables instead of a book? If you take a vacation at Sea World, aren't the good people at Disney losing? I probably have Best Buy stock through a mutual fund. Didn't you hurt me by not helping to fund my retirement acccount?
It's a free market. You're under no moral obligation to support any one company over another (assuming they're not engaged in some type of practice you find morally objectionable).
You probably also actually helped the market. Your transaction provides information about what people are actually willing to pay for products. You snapped up excess inventory, reducing the need for another company to go out of business.
And Circuit City brought it on itself. It fired commissioned sales people (top performers could earn over $70k in retail) and replaced them with low paid salaried workers....purely to cut costs. Any company that fires salespeople because they make too much commission money deserves to fail, pure and simple. I wouldn't get too worked up about its failure.
18. NeedACatchyName said the following at 11:52 AM on Dec 24:
HDMI is a digital standard. So unlike analog cables, where signal quality can vary according to cable quality, HDMI is either going to work, or not work. So if you can get any old HDMI cable to work over that distance, then it will by definition be the best possible picture, since you're either going to get the optimal picture or nothing at all (or a highly irregular picture with a very visible portion cut-off) with the digital standard.
As noted by the other posters, cables are a huge profit item for big-box retailers. Often the strategy is to eke out a small profit on the big items like televisions and stereos, and then earn their money with the "extras," especially cable and those "product service plans." Both the cables and extended warranties are almost pure profit, and a gifted salesman can use those two items to turn that small profit on the television into a much bigger profit once those additional items are purchased. I don't doubt that Circuit City still made a handsome profit on those cables.
Oh, and as for a recommendation for a good place to purchase cables, I'll just say that I've had fantastic experiences with the company recommended by Read at #12.
19. Gabe in Norman, OK said the following at 11:53 AM on Dec 24:
I think the most important thing to remember is that what is seen is temporal, and what is unseen is eternal (2 Cor. 4:18). So, in this sense, losing physical things isn't necessarily a bad thing. As you may recall, God allowed Job to lose everything. Many Christians over the course of time have lost everything for the sake of Christ. But, in the end, they received a reward far greater than anything physical: the salvation of their souls.
20. Celeste said the following at 11:53 AM on Dec 24:
Great post!
A few years ago, a person stole my bike. I prayed that it would bring more blessing to them than to me. A few months later, a second bike was stolen. I prayed that God would bless them by bringing them to justice.....
21. Christina (in green) said the following at 11:56 AM on Dec 24:
It really puts "suffering" into some perspective, doesn't it?
But then, when we're hurting, I wonder how likely we'll be to consider pleasantly the blessings of others at our expense =p
I know I wasn't.
22. Cliff said the following at 11:56 AM on Dec 24:
Hi Ted,
Your post reminded me of this => http://www.storyofstuff.com/
There is always a reason why the price is so low. Unfortunately, in most cases, it is because of the exploitation of 'lesser' nations.
23. Alex said the following at 11:58 AM on Dec 24:
It looks like you are starting a thought process that may lead you to the conclusion I arrived at about a year ago:
Our economy is based on exploitation.
I don't talk about this much at church, because I come off as a crank, but I'm convinced that the Amish have it right in a lot of ways. I'm not a communist by any means, but there has to be a happy medium in which capitalism gives people a fairer shake than what they're getting right now. Communism doesn't work--The poor will be with us always--but we are still commanded to have a heart for the poor, and I think that means more than just giving money to them via personal donations but continuing to foster and support a system that is oppressive and unChristian.
I took all my money out of the stock market a year ago. I decided everything I had heard about compound interest and dollar cost averaging couldn't possibly be as foolproof as it sounded, and anyway I didn't want this "guaranteed wealth" if it was being built on the backs of exploited Chinese factory workers and exploited American big box employees. The whole thing stinks, in my opinion. I'd rather just be poor, with an honest savings account that I earned with the sweat of my brow.
As much as my Republican, politically conservative friends disagree with me, in my opinion, globalization is the modern equivalent of slavery. We'll never live in a perfect world until we get to heaven. I know this. But I'm not going to use that as an excuse to buy cheap cables made by exploited foreign labor and sold by exploited domestic workers who can't support a family or healthcare on their wages from honest work.
That instinct you have that blessings are coming to you at the expense of others? In my opinion, that's the Holy Spirit, and you should nurture it and listen to it, instead of just sighing and figuring. . .oh, well, that's just the way it is. Is it? Or is it a sign of something deeper and more troubling about the world's ideas, something that we as Christians ought to be protesting with a bit more vigor, and more willingness to make sacrifices in order to do what is right?
24. Ted Slater said the following at 12:41 PM on Dec 24:
Alex, our economy is not based on exploitation. It's based on trading one thing of worth for another. Some people are exploiting the system, but the system itself is not exploitative.
I need to make it clear that I don't believe that ALL blessings come at the expense of others. I do NOT believe in the "zero sum game" promoted by left-leaning economists.
And not all who earn a living are doing so by exploiting others. Indeed, you acknowledge this yourself when you speak of those who do "honest work."
Yes, there is a lot of exploitation, by both Communists (e.g., China) and Capitalists (e.g., Bernard Madoff). Exploiting is what sinful humans are inclined to do.
But the blessing of a well-prepared meal, comfy clothes, functional washing machine, cozy home, good health, loving family, fulfilling work, supportive church and so on -- those are not coming at the expense of others.
25. Al said the following at 10:18 PM on Dec 28:
Hey Ted. I did notice that you purchased a 20 foot cable, which was why I added the caveat about long cables and future formats. I'm thinking the 10 dollar budget cables at that length could very well still work, but repurchasing and returning might very well be more hassle than it's worth for you, and you do get some peace of mind for future formats if you keep that cable around.
26. Mike Theemling said the following at 10:24 PM on Dec 28:
Ted, regarding your concerns about gaining at the expense of someone else's loss, I would not stress too much over it. Remember, it was Circuit City who conducted the fire sale. You did not do any price gouging yourself nor did you gloat to the employees (hopefully!).
From a theological standpoint, the Bible does have a couple of examples where that issue is addressed. One notable to me is the book of Habakkuk. Basically, God says to the prophet that he is using someone's gain (the Babylonians in this case) as a method of disciplining the nation of Israel. But that doesn't mean that the Babylonians are off scot free either. They too will face the consequences of their actions and attitudes towards God.
And Paul writes in Romans that Gentiles have become blessed with salvation because of Israel's transgressions making her envious of other nations.
Bottom line is that we cannot see how things are playing out from God's point of view. Events that would seem completely irrational and unfair may in fact be God's plan in action.
27. Texas Craig said the following at 8:10 AM on Dec 29:
When we start talking about exploitation, we need to be very careful what we are talking about. Yes, there are places where child slave labor is being used or where power is used to coerce or force people into low-paying jobs.
But, at the same time, many people in developing countries want the opportunity to work for American manufacturing companies, because even $1.00 per hour is better than anything they can earn indigenously in their country.
Recently, in China, there have been a number of riots at factories. Some of these factories were making toys to be shipped to the U.S. and they paid very low wages by any U.S. standard. But, the workers rioted not over their working conditions or their wages, but because their employer shut down and went out of business. These people wanted those jobs and they were angry their company shut down without any notice to them.
Too often we look at the world through our western lenses and, in so doing, misperceive things. While exploitation occurs, and I am thankful for organizations like International Justice Mission that address some of those situations, oftentimes low wages paid to foreign employees are considered a good sum in their country.
Personally, I am a huge fan of globalization, because it is actually helping many developing countries and it is a great tool for spreading the gospel as well!
28. Daniel B said the following at 8:12 AM on Dec 29:
"If I get a parking space near the door or the last piece of pie at the buffet, someone else doesn't."
Odds are you are improving their poor health by taking their pie/close-in parking spot.
29. The Pageman said the following at 8:15 AM on Dec 29:
I actually won a 32-inch Sony Bravia but forfeited because I had to accompany a friend to a party - my brother commented that I "had blessed someone else EVEN with my absence" :) merry CHRISTmas! :)
30. Peter Wells said the following at 8:18 AM on Dec 29:
I'd agree that God is active in all parts of our lives, Ted. But sometimes I wonder how much he cares about HDMI cables, and whether giving Him credit for the fickle nature of the economy is actually... correct? It's a paradox, I suppose, though from our perspective, His nature is seemingly full of them.
Amos 5:23-24 comes to mind.
31. Kaycee said the following at 8:21 AM on Dec 29:
I liked your post a lot Ted. Being blessed at another person's expense reminds me of God's gift to us. We're blessed to have our sins forgiven and to have a relationship with God. But all of that came from the Lord's expense to give up His son for us.
32. kaj said the following at 8:22 AM on Dec 29:
re: comment 25
"...repurchasing and returning might very well be more hassle than it's worth for you."
Actually, it's "all sales final" at any Circuit City store that is going out of business. The liquidator owns the merchandise, not the store. And from what I've read, you can't even return defective products to a non-closing store.
FWIW, here's a related article from an Emmy award-winning consumer reporter:
About Circuit City Going-Out-of-Business Sales
33. KJ said the following at 8:36 AM on Dec 29:
Interesting that you mentioned the unhelpful, inattentive attitudes of the employees - actually, I noticed that long before the chain was in trouble, but not long after the commissions went away. In most big chain stores it is that way - employees standing around chatting, oblivious to whether you can find what you need and not caring if you buy the whole store or walk out empty-handed. I think these big stores (and the unhelpful employees they keep) have done themselves in.
34. Jeny said the following at 8:14 AM on Dec 30:
Our God has always a good purpose to each of his children. He has a good purpose for you, and He has a good purpose for those employees that lost their job in that store.
35. IMO said the following at 1:45 PM on Dec 30:
just read this somewhere...(the Tribune I think!)
but maybe your misfortune (you lost $100 or did not get that job) can be a blessing to somebody else...
you never know who needs "it" more...
36. Sheri said the following at 8:19 AM on Dec 31:
I really think that is a very paranoid way to look at the world.
37. Paul Clutterbuck said the following at 11:11 AM on Jan 3:
Alex (#23), go have a look at my blog, especially the post on "Egotism, competitiveness and manipulation in Western economics."
Possibly the greatest example of profiting at someone else's expense is by trusting in the death of Jesus Christ. That puts everything else in the shade, I would say.
I myself experienced something closely parallel to this, actually twice over, by accepting kidney transplants from donors I didn't know personally. Their deaths, both at young ages, brought me new life, freedom from dialysis, and a cleansing that instead of being repetitive and incomplete has been retrospective and ongoing. How does a person respond to that?
By all means, give thanks to God for ALL his mercies; it would be unspeakably churlish not to! Pray for those worse off than yourself, maybe including those whose losses have benefited you, and do whatever you can to help their situation. Let your gratefulness be known to everyone. Ensure that you live your life for a purpose that glorifies God first and foremost. But whatever you do, don't thank God that you're better off than someone else, or that you benefited from someone else's loss. That should always leave some tinge of sadness in our celebration, some measure of the Cross in our resurrected lives.
38. Jo said the following at 9:13 PM on Jan 4:
Paul 37:
"But whatever you do, don't thank God that you're better off than someone else..."
Amen to that. Reminds me of the most awful line in the Band Aid song, "Tonight thank God it's them instead of you". I know it's raised a lot for charity and whatnot, but SERIOUSLY - Not Cool.