Only Words?
by Tom Neven on 09/16/2008 at 2:03 PM
When I was in second grade I got my mouth washed out with soap. I no longer remember what I said; I remember only the horrible taste of Ivory soap as the teacher rammed the bar into my mouth and then made me wash down the sudsy residue with water. I also remember being bewildered and humiliated, because I honestly didn't know that what I'd said was considered bad.
In fifth grade I got busted again. I do remember what I said then -- sorry, can't repeat it here -- but I swear I didn't know it was considered a bad word. After all, everyone else used it. I just had the incredible bad luck of using it on a teacher. And I have to admit that when I was in the Marines, I occasionally -- okay, more than occasionally -- used language that would make a gangsta rapper blush.
I've often wondered about how we as a culture react to bad words. First, we must make a distinction between profanity, properly defined, and plain old vulgarisms or obscenities. The former is, literally, profaning God's name, using it in vain. The latter are scatological or crude sexual terms that society deems out of bounds. Unfortunately, we tend to use the word profanity for all "bad" language, even when it technically isn't profane. In fact, I've written before about confusion concerning what it means to profane God's name.
All this comes to mind because of the popularity of the updated and revised Battlestar Galactica and the "dirty" word it has introduced to our culture: frak. (I didn't realize, by the way, that the word was not coined for the new, darker, edgier Galactica; it was actually first used in the cheesy '70s version of the series -- you know, the one where everyone is supposedly from a very distant planet in the very distant past but they all wear bad disco haircuts and the evil cylons sport more chrome than a Buick Roadmaster. Who knew?)
We all know what frak sounds like, but it's not really "the word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words," as young Ralphie described it. We all know what they mean when they say it, but they're not actually saying it. So does it count as a "dirty word"?
This brings to mind the comedian Lenny Bruce, who was arrested numerous times in the early '60s on obscenity charges. (The late George Carlin cited Bruce as his inspiration for the act that made him famous: The Seven Dirty Words You Can't Say on Television.) During one nightclub show, knowing that the police were ready to bust him, Bruce told a vulgar story full of euphemisms for excretory and sexual acts without actually using the words. The audience roared with laughter, and the police stood by helplessly. Bruce famously remarked, "This is the dirtiest show I've ever done, and they can't touch me!"
And how many of you knew that when you use words like Gee, Jeez, Yeesh, or the like that you're actually using a euphemism for Jesus' name? Does that mean you're being profane? (Our print magazines will not use these or similar words, by the way.) Dr. Dobson is famous for his use of Gadzooks, which is really a euphemism for "God's hooks," a British expression that in older days was a profane oath on the spikes used to nail Jesus to the cross. So is Dr. Dobson being profane?
In the end, I think, it comes down to intent. Do you know that what you're saying is bad? Do you intend to say it? In second grade, I was purely innocent, even though I probably technically said a bad word. In fifth grade, I was sort of innocent, but I was also mouthing off at the teacher, so my heart was not in the right place. But Lenny Bruce was guilty, even though he technically did not say any obscene words.
So where does that leave Battlestar Galactica and frak? It's an interesting question. I rarely if ever notice the f-word in a movie unless I'm assaulted by a fusillade of the vulgarism; after years in the Marines I'm inured to it. But I blanch when I hear Galactica's version on TV. Why? I think the nudge-nudge, wink-wink nature of it is part of the problem. It's a sly way of getting people to hear swearing even though they're technically not swearing. It's like Lenny Bruce, reveling in something while getting away with it. It's the intent, not the word.
Thoughts?
1. Texas Craig said the following at 2:18 PM on Sep 16:
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I think that intent is one aspect worth consideration, but I think it needs to be more than that. What about people that use foul language so much that it is practically their only method of communication? I would imagine that they probably do not even realize they use it as much as they do because they are so desensitized to it. In that sense, they may have no ill intent. But, their conduct would still be inappropriate in my mind.
But, the question then is "How does it matter?" I do not use foul language and I do not allow my children to do so. But, it is mainly an issue of respect for the sensitivities of others. As society changes, perhaps I would be more willing to use words that are no longer "sensitive" and are not profane. In fact, there are a lot of words that I am comfortable using that others may find offensive. In that situation, I try to be sensitive to their feelings and not use those words around them. But, I do not necessarily stop using those words completely.
To me, the issue is one of respect for others. Thus, if a word is deemed offensive to most people, we ought never use it. If a word is accepted by most, then perhaps we can use it, except around those that we know do not approve of it. I don't know if that is the right approach, but it is the one I use. Finally, I also consider (first and foremost) what I am trying to communicate with my words. If the thought itself or the plain meaning of the words communicates any idea that would be offensive to the heart of God, then I should always avoid using that phrase.
2. Derek Wong said the following at 3:00 PM on Sep 16:
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Interesting thoughts. I wrote a post awhile back (Profanity Without Using Curse Words) about cursing. I was thinking about how in spirit I would curse, but I remained technically able to say that I didn't. Similar, I suppose, to Lenny Bruce.
In the end, though, I hope that I remember that what comes out of my mouth from the outpouring of my heart. And I want that outpouring to be much much better than it currently is!
3. Priscilla said the following at 3:09 PM on Sep 16:
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Just recently learnt that the British term "blimey" actually comes from "God blind me", which was once a serious oath. So saying it lightly is probably obscene?!
Anyway, Prof "Theophilus" had a good article on this topic over at True U last month.
(Prof T is the original reason I got onto Boundless way back in 2001 -- and I still can't believe you guys lost a writer of his calibre to True U a couple of years ago :( I still pop over there regularly to read his stuff -- it's truly worth it.)
4. Priscilla said the following at 3:29 PM on Sep 16:
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Just re-read Prof Theophilus' article that I referenced in the previous comment and had to add this: he seems to be disagreeing with you, Tom. He seems to be saying that it's NOT intent that matters most. Even if said meaninglessly, with no bad intent, he feels profanities and obscenities are still wrong. He explains the rationale far better than I could, so read it and tell me if you think they're saying different things and if so, who do you agree with.
I'm not sure which I personally agree with, simply because a strict Christian childhood means that bad words are not a temptation that I struggle with, so I'm not worried about intent or otherwise.
Still, the terms fly around me all day, and I still cringe when I hear them. Should I? And do you cringe when unbelievers take the name of the Lord in vain? I can explain to my Hindu friends why obscenity offends me. And why profanity using Christ's name offends me -- because they are misusing the name of my God, and most Hindus are quite respectful of other people's beliefs. But they would see no reason why they can't use a Christian profanity when there are no Christians around -- after all, they aren't offending anyone. It's also hard to explain why G-d-m would offend me, the believer in God, when it doesn't offend them, the believers in many gods.
The other place where profanity really drives me insane is books. Many a perfectly good novel, especially thrillers and mysteries, but also literary works, have been absolutely spoilt for me because they are full of profanity. Wierdly enough, movies don't affect me so badly, unless there's bleeping dialogue every 30 seconds. But seeing it typed in black and white in a book, often as part of dialogue of a character I like, makes me cringe.
5. Tom Neven said the following at 4:01 PM on Sep 16:
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Priscilla (#3)
Actually, there's no disagreement between me and Dr. T. We're talking about different things. I would agree with him that the casual use of vulgarities and obscenities is wrong, and it really bothers me, especially in public and, for some reason, more especially from young people and females.
My point was about the deliberate use of such words and the resorting to euphemisms to supposedly get around the technical use of the words. That's why Battlestar Galactica's use of frak is such a perfect, up-to-the-moment example.
6. BDB said the following at 4:26 PM on Sep 16:
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Well, the other thing is that this version of Galactica deliberately structures the dialog like, say, naval aviators, inserting frak in the appropriate spots. It makes it sound like swearing much more than the 1970's series.
And in the intervening decades, I did utter it on occaision. It's just that no one knew what it meant. Like feldercarb. Though, reading the definitions I find online, I think I was using it wrong.
Though I think the best one was from an episode of the original Transformers cartoon:
"We are in deep transistor parts."
7. Casey (the Student Nurse) said the following at 5:04 PM on Sep 16:
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On Euphemisms:
I grew up in a Christian home, but im also a 13 year veteran of the public school system, plus an additional 3 years (and only one left!) in college. Because of that education, i learned many of the words that are simply off limits. However, i also learned words that some thought were bad (mainly older adults), and some thought were absolutely harmless (mainly people my age and slightly older). Words like S*ck and Cr*p (only censored here because i think someone could possibly be offended) are not offensive to any of my friends, be they Christian or non, yet, they can be very offensive to persons older than us, because they bring to mind worse explicatives. We have no intention to use our words in a harmful way, yet our everyday speech can be piercing to others.
All this goes to say that I kind of agree with Texas Craig (#1), its really a respect issue. While it can be very hard to censor your tongue, especially when the words aren't bad by yours or your peer's standards, we have to realize the harm we can be causing our brothers and sisters, and forgo these descriptors for other's sake.
8. J. Tucker said the following at 5:07 PM on Sep 16:
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Wow! Great post Tom. I was just talking about this issue with some of my friends the other day. We all come from quite different backgrounds, and we were interested in how we were raised concerning the use of "dirty" words.
While I confess that I have used inappropriate language at times, I do not condone it. I was raised not to curse and not to take the Lord's name in vain. I find that I think less of people who do use foul language on a regular basis. I think them crass, unintelligent, childish, and unable to express themselves in a meaningful manner. In fact, the more bad language that is used in a movie or book, the less likely I am to appreciate any of the other good characteristics of the work. Foul language is distracting to me, and only very seldomly is it used in artistic contexts where it actually adds value.
My brother joined the Navy while I was in college, and he came back from boot camp swearing like the saying says. I found that I would spend less and less time with him, because I was sick of telling him to watch his mouth and I was sick of hearing the garbage come out of it. After the initial shock of the military life wore off, however, he seemed to regain a footing in his own personality and stopped using the language. He didn't feel the need to impress or impose his presence, and he didn't need to punctuate his every sentence with obscenity. In short, he grew up and developed self-confidence that didn't need the dirty words to feel tough or important.
I for one am a fan of the euphamistic expletive. I use almost all of them, including 'gees,' 'gosh,' 'darn,' 'crap,' and even a version of 'frak'. (I do not watch Battlestar Gallactica, just for the record.) I remember a conversation with my mother when I was in high school regarding the use of these euphamisms. Her opinion was that I was not to use them, because they were placeholders for the real profanity and obscenity. I disagreed with her (respectfully), and I still do. Although, I could be wrong. Maybe the use of euphamisms is just as childish as the use of ordinary profanity and obscenity...
My reasoning for condoning the use of euphamisms is that humans are programmed to use expletives. We have an impulse to say something when we encounter a frustrating or startling event. I suppose one could say "BANANAS!" every time one stubs their toe, but I suspect that would not have the same satisfying effect as "darn it" or "crap." My point here is that expletives should not need to be profanity or obscenity.
This theory also ties into your theory about intent, Tom. At no time when I use a euphemized expletive do I intent to take the Lord's name in vain. In fact, I take profanity very seriously. I confess, that there are times when I wish I could say the actual obscenities when I'm very upset, but I try to stop myself for the reasons I mentioned in the second paragraph. I don't want to appear angry, unintelligent, or crass to people in private or public. I wouldn't want my kids or friends to appear that way either.
Lastly, and most importantly, I want my mouth to be pure, just like other parts of my being. I don't want to go into church to worship God and suddenly remember that the mouth that is singing praises and praying was cursing and using foul language the week prior. If one feels guilty about using euphamistic expletives, whether it be consience or spiritual conviction, that person probably does have a problem with the intent behind their words.
9. Leah said the following at 7:06 PM on Sep 16:
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Priscilla, I don't think Tom and Prof T are in disagreement. It seems to me like Prof T is objecting to people who use vulgar language without intending to offend, while Tom is making allowances for people who use vulgar language without even realising it's vulgar. That's two different things. The former (who Prof T appears to object to) know that their language is vulgar, but don't expect it to offend. And I'm sure Prof T and Tom would both agree that is still wrong. However, the latter person- he who does not even realise what he's saying is a 'bad word'- could be let off the hook because he doesn't even realise what he's saying has the potential to offend.
10. Priscilla said the following at 10:56 PM on Sep 16:
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Thanks Tom, (#4), for the clarification. That does make sense.
Why do you think it bothers you more when women use bad words? For me, I cringe more when older people use them -- simply because when I was growing up, all the adults around me would be the first to clamp down on any sign of obscenity or prafanity. So although I might be used to people my age using those terms, however much I dislike it, it really seems like more of a betrayal when the "grown-ups" do so as well.
11. Holly said the following at 11:29 PM on Sep 16:
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I'm in Navy ROTC, and believe me, I'm getting my full dose of the real thing just being around everyone (including Marines). I haven't started because I never have in my life, but what do you think is a good way to keep your convictions without looking stuck up? (Not a good thing in the military.) So far everyone seems respectfull towards me even though they obviously can tell there's a difference. How big of an issue do you think this is?
12. kaarina said the following at 11:49 PM on Sep 16:
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I've always thought of most non-vulgar, non-profane, non-inflammatory (aimed at others) "profanity" as being little more than a verbal exclamation of an inexpressible feeling. For this reason, I like "frak" better than Firefly's "Gorram". We have adopted "frak" as the catch-all "this is not good" word at my house. Is it any different than my mother's favored exclamation of "pickles!"? Considering I use both mostly for emphasis I find it difficult to think of these words as swearing.
But I have a tendency to use non-American "exclamations" anyway. Having an odd exposure to foreign profanity, learning that the word that looks like "that" with a "w" where the h goes means, primarily, in America, a vulgar word, (as opposed to my only exposure to it that left it meaning something like "stupid") was rather a shock to me and I was rather disappointed.
I think it's all in the intent. Most people do not use "bad words" for shock value, to offend, to inflame, in my experience. It's emotional punctuation, it's emphatic. People who use obscene, profane, and derogatory language to tear others down belong in a separate category than what I would call "casual swearing", what 98% of my acquaintances do.
13. Jordan Peacock said the following at 6:40 AM on Sep 17:
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Vulgarity is a form of rebellion against societal structures. Therefore, when pagan religions were the dominant structure, it took the forms of 'By Jupiter', 'Zeus', etc.
Fast-forward to Christendom and it was about downplaying the faith; 'bloody _____', 'geez', etc.
Fast-forward again to the British Empire and Victorianism and it was defecation and sexual behaviour that was socially rebellious, and the terms reflected that.
Today, none of the above are considered, socially, terribly vulgar, although some are more than others. Today, the socially rebellious vulgarity is exclusionary terms. Therefore it is FAR more offensive today to issue a racial epithet or something that divides by gender, nationality, sexuality, etc. It's why frak is sort of smirked at, but when Michael Richards issued the word 'n*gger' he was torn apart by the public.
The only people who find the other words offensive today are either a) still getting over Victorianism and haven't acceptable the dominant social paradigm of frank discussion about bodily functions and sexual behaviour or are extremely devout and find the Middle Ages terms blasphemy.
And the only rebellion to be found is really in the dividing words, unless the system you are rebelling against (ex. some churches) holds on to some of the other trappings that general society has moved past.
For me, it's all contextual. For someone who has moved past offense, I'm comfortable using vulgarity in moderation. For those that are uncomfortable I'll decline to use it in their presence. But I understand that these are culturally defined terms, and the severity or consternation is culturally defined as well, and UNLIKE taking God's name in vain, most of these terms merely dictate what not to say to your grandparents.
14. Loris said the following at 6:46 AM on Sep 17:
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My personal pet peeve is when my Christian friends exclaim OMG to every little thing. Vulgarity doesn't bother me that much, but I cringe when I hear "God!" every other sentence and folks are definitely NOT praying. I've explained to them that I feel it's disrespectful, but it doesn't seem to have any effect. Habits are hard to break, I suppose.
15. Tigger said the following at 9:37 AM on Sep 17:
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Well the tv show Farscape (science fiction on crack; it's absolutely fantastic stuff) uses 'frell' for frak, as well as dren and tralk and loomas, among others, to get through the censors and still seem realistic, and to portray a world wildly different yet just familiar enough.
Words, in my opinion, have only what power we allow them to hold over us, both good and bad.
I agree about Prof Theophilus. He's what snagged me on Boundless.
I had no idea BSG is that popular in the US that even Boundless would comment on it...
16. Tom Neven said the following at 10:41 AM on Sep 17:
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Priscilla (#10)
I'm not sure. I guess it's a cultural expectation that women would be more circumspect and genteel. Certainly not a safe assumption anymore -- at least in the wider culture.
17. Tom Neven said the following at 10:44 AM on Sep 17:
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Holly (#11)
My advice to you is to stick to your principles and not join in the cussing. But at the same time don't make a big deal of others' cussing, even through body language. They'll respect you for the former, but you'll lose any opportunity for friendship or relationship through the latter if they sense they're being judged.
I see it as a price to pay for being in the world but not of it.
18. Mike said the following at 11:10 AM on Sep 17:
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My parents came to Christ when I was a small boy. Soon thereafter I was forbidden to use words like "darn" or "dang". "Hell" was certainly off limits. As I grew up, I became very legalistic and judgmental about the use of this type of language. However, later in life I find myself using words like "c..p". A Christian brother recently admonished me for using "s....ed up" to describe a situation in which people had created a difficult situation. As I think about it, I realize that I have been coarsened by contact with the culture. I must reconsider how to apply Paul's warning in Ephesians 5:4 (NET Bible) -
5:1 Therefore, be imitators of God as dearly loved children 5:2 and live in love, just as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God. 5:3 But among you there must not be either sexual immorality, impurity of any kind, or greed, as these are not fitting for the saints. 5:4 Neither should there be vulgar speech, foolish talk, or coarse jesting – all of which are out of character – but rather thanksgiving. 5:5 For you can be confident of this one thing: 8 that no person who is immoral, impure, or greedy (such a person is an idolater) has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
Not only should I consider whether my language is sinful, but whether it is out of character for someone who claims to be a disciple of Christ.
19. BDB said the following at 11:34 AM on Sep 17:
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Holly (#11) wrote:
>>So far everyone seems respectfull towards me even though they obviously can tell there's a difference. How big of an issue do you think this is? <<
Um...it might be no worse than a "preacher" nickname. Oddly enough, I eventually realized that people were moderating their language around me without even me asking them to. It was just that I didn't join in.
It can have a separating effect in some social interactions. Some people who want to discuss their sinful exploits with gusto might not include you in those conversations. But those conversations can get pretty tiresome anyway...
20. Christina (in green) said the following at 12:00 PM on Sep 17:
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Priscilla, #10 -
Concerning women using obscenities...
My grandmother mentioned once how much she hates the F*** word. She has no issue with any other word EXCEPT that one. And especially when a WOMAN uses it.
Why? Because the word is actually a violent sexual action perpetrated against a female victim (generally).
She thinks that women especially disrespect THEMSELVES when using that word - while men disrespect women by using it.
21. RuRu said the following at 12:00 PM on Sep 17:
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My question has always been, is it necessary to use those words when there are millions of others? Obscene language has simply replaced "um" or "like" as verbal fillers. It suggests that not much thought goes into what is said. English has become so much more limited because of the lack of thought in what is said and written.
22. Elisabeth said the following at 12:33 PM on Sep 17:
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Hmmm, doesn't Jesus' admonition to "let your yes be yes and your no be no" have application here? In my mind, He's telling us to "Say what you really mean, or don't say it." That's why euphemisms would bother me. Also, doesn't the New Testament remind us to refrain from coarse jesting and filthy talk? I think I'd just feel...a little sad to find myself talking that way if I could actually see Jesus standing beside me.
23. Tom Neven said the following at 12:53 PM on Sep 17:
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Elizabeth (#22)
Actually, I'm not saying,"Say what you really mean, or don't say it."
I'm asking, "Do you really mean what you're saying?"
24. Texas Craig said the following at 2:43 PM on Sep 17:
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Tom, I think you ask the relevant question: Do you mean what you say?
The problem this creates, though, is that different people mean different things when they use phrases. For example, if I say cr*p, it is because something happened that I wasn't expecting and that I was not happy about it. Is that word wrong? I personally don't think so. Do I mean something offensive? No, certainly not. Rather, it is just an exclamation of disappointment--much like I would say when I am outside and I accidentally step into my dog's feces (which has happened far too often!). In fact, "cr*p" is exactly what I would expect to say if I just stepped in it!
But, when people start saying things like "go to h%%l" then it is both crude and deeply offensive because the very meaning of it is wrong. Similarly, calling people names is offensive and wrong.
Although, even that last point raises an interesting issue. I have a very dear friend that I have known for 20 years that I call "b*tthe*d" as a term of endearment. We both know it is meant in a joking and endearing way and it is not used in general audiences, where others might misunderstand and be offended. Am I wrong to do that?
25. Tigger said the following at 4:33 PM on Sep 17:
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I teach English as a second language to adults, and no matter how often I explain how to say these words (trust me, it always comes up), my students almost never get the inflection right. Without that minute but very necessary pause after the F-word, it loses much effect. It just becomes another adjective.
There is always a better way to say something. It is laziness that perpetuates this speech. Every day I help people who yearn and struggle to speak passable English, and many native speakers back home can't get through a sentence without "like" or finding a better adjective than one that starts with F. I've also noticed that non-natives fluent in English rarely use these words. Perhaps because they have accumulated so much vocabulary on the way it just isn't necessary.
That said, somebody will always find something to be offended by. You cannot please them all.
26. Jen from CO said the following at 4:55 PM on Sep 17:
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Don't say "stinks", darling. If absolutely necessary, "smells." But only when absolutely necessary.
Thanks to a family filled with old-movie buffs, this quote from "The Philadelphia Story" (or "High Society," if you prefer) was bandied about every time I dared to utter the scandalous word, "stinks." (As in, "that stinks", generally in a whiny adolescent response to a task I did not desire to do). Needless to say, I wasn't exactly allowed to say anything more severe when growing up.
Nowadays, I do question the idea of substituting similar-but-not-bad words in place of the obscene ones our society favors. I, too, have wondered if a mere substitution of a "lesser" word really changes anything if the intent is still there. I've also wondererd at the cultural effect of obscenity (as a Yank who lived some years in Britain, I found it amusing what they would and wouldn't bleep out on television).
I don't have any solutions/answers to my wonderings -- just that excessive swearing lessons the impact, and therefore to gain the impact of the simple solitary utturance, one must seemingly pile them on to once again attain the emotional impact. Vicious cycle.
Personally, I'm partial to "pomegranate" for those moments demanding a rather emotional response. I find the consonantes deeply satisfying when experiencing the pain of a stubbed toe.
(All this, I suppose, to be taken with a grain of salt, for I've been known to willingly utter frak. But only when absolutely necessary.)
27. Rachael said the following at 12:44 AM on Sep 18:
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Perhaps people carelessly or jokingly throwing around God's name in a conversation could be a form of taking His name in vein.
Most likely God's name could be taken in vein in ways other than the "Oh my _________".
As for swearing -- I don't like it, but also we should remember that over time some words may not be as heavy as they once were.
28. Annie said the following at 5:50 AM on Sep 18:
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Christina, #10 -
concerning the F word. Maybe your grandmother was somewhat misguided. If the word actually means "to have sexual intercourse" - then it doesn't necessarily mean that violence is involved.
More married couples want to have a broader range of vocabulary to express different types and moods during their intimate times. Sometimes the phrase "make love" doesn't convey the level of passion involved. It's just a word, though I believe it should not be used in disdain or disrespect. In its actual proper context, there is no reason the word should be foul. It's all about intent and context.
Admittedly, I acknowledge that the word would be out of bounds for most couples, if they are used to hearing it in inappropriate or hateful contexts.
Thoughts?
29. Rachael said the following at 9:20 AM on Sep 18:
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Any ideas on some alternatives (oh man, oh, wowsers, oopsy-daisies) to euphemisms to express shock, surprise, wonder, and disappointment?
Maybe some fun, playful, cheesy expressions from the past that are not derogatory or fake-derogatory in any way?
30. BDB said the following at 3:27 PM on Sep 18:
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Rachael,
The mom of a rather devout family of Baptists I grew up next to often said, "Oh, Crumb!" when something went wrong...
One of their kids is permanently living in Malaysia as a missionary now. It's a reminder to me that language used by the parents can be an indicator of the overall tone of expectations set by the family.
31. BDB said the following at 12:41 AM on Sep 19:
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Tigger (#25) reminded me of a story:
I had a roomate who was from Indonesia. He had great difficulty pronouncing "sheet", as in bed sheet. He just couldn't get the "e" sound long enough, and it sounded like "i." (I can't do a phonetic alphabet here.)
Anyway, I suggested he use the term "linen" instead.
Periodically he'd be practicing, and I'd look at him, and he'd just say, "linen" and shake his head...
32. composer girl said the following at 4:21 PM on Sep 19:
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Two anecdotes in response to Tigger (25) and Jen (26):
Tigger: It is true that many curse words are a result of a poor vocabulary and lack of creativity. I have a good friend who is a real "verbivore," so to speak, and one day, we were speaking of a mutual acquaintance who had hurt the feelings of one of our dear friends. Needless to say, we were not feeling benevolent towards said acquaintance, and my friend said something like "That guy is malicious wretch." (Although it was something that was much more clever than that.) To which we responded: "If everyone had as wide a vocabulary as you, there would be no need for curse words."
Jen (26): Your quote puts me in mind of a scene from Little Women (with Winona Ryder):
Jo: Blast these wretched skirts!
Amy: Don't say "blast" and "wretch"!
(Amy trips and drops her slate in a puddle, which erases her homework.)
Amy: Blast...
33. Leah said the following at 2:33 AM on Sep 20:
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BDB and Rachael - "Crumbs" is a pretty common expression in Australia too, especially among my parents' generation.
34. Jo said the following at 11:26 AM on Sep 20:
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Priscilla:
"Just recently learnt that the British term "blimey" actually comes from "God blind me", which was once a serious oath. So saying it lightly is probably obscene?!"
This is true, but no one in Britain really says it. :P
It's all very cultural again too - I have a Polish friend who lived here for 3 years, she would say the s- and f- words frequently, but she would never and I mean NEVER say their Polish equivalents. They were completely out of bounds to her - but she heard the English swearwords used so often and so casually that they didn't bother her at all.
I say damn a fair bit, and hell. No one seems to mind, if they did I probably wouldn't do it in their company. In fact I think I naturally do it a lot less when I'm with people who might be offended.
Words do change their meanings drastically over time as well. Lots of insults originate from descriptions of learning disabilities (idiot and cretin, for example), yet are almost never used in that way now. Same with blasphemies, I suppose. If it's lost its original connotation and no one finds it offensive, is the word itself still wrong? Should we use different words for the days of the week because they're named after pagan gods? I think you can worry too much about things like this.