Playtime Lost
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 08/28/2008 at 6:08 AM
Remember the days when we rode our bikes through the neighborhood, explored the woods with our friends and set up lemonade stands unsupervised? Sadly, as Rosa Brooks explains in her in her LA Times column, unstructured childhood play "has gone the way of the dodo, the typewriter and the eight-track tape."
Reader, if you're much over 30, you probably remember what it used to be like for the typical American kid. Remember how there used to be this thing called "going out to play"?
For younger readers, I'll explain this archaic concept. It worked like this: The child or children in the house -- as long as they were over age 4 or so -- went to the door, opened it, and ... went outside. They braved the neighborhood pedophile just waiting to pounce, the rusty nails just waiting to be stepped on, the trees just waiting to be fallen out of, and they "played."
"Play," incidentally, is a mysterious activity children engage in when not compelled to spend every hour under adult supervision, taking soccer or piano lessons or practicing vocabulary words with computerized flashcards.
Brooks goes on to lament that between 1981 to 1997, children 8 and under lost from 228 to 501 minutes of unstructured playtime (this from University of Michigan time-use studies). She writes:
Increasingly, American children are in a lose-lose situation. They're forced, prematurely, to do all the un-fun kinds of things adults do (Be over-scheduled! Have no downtime! Study! Work!). But they don't get any of the privileges of adult life: autonomy, the ability to make their own choices, use their own judgment, maybe even get interestingly lost now and then.
I remember seeing a commercial for a stationary bike for kids that you could hook up to a TV for a simulated outdoor riding experience. Despite the coolness of the technology, the fact that we need something like that made me sad. I find it frustrating that my kids won't get to roam freely outdoors like I did. Parents must find alternative ways to let their children play. It may require that Moms and Dads accompany their children outdoors. Come to think of it, that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
HT: Tim Challies
1. Carrie (the original) said the following at 6:59 AM on Aug 28:
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This is fairly convicting as I babysit for 2 different families that have 5 children. One set of children loves it when I babysit because that means that they get to watch a movie (having a babysitter is one of the few times they are allowed to watch T.V.). The other set, typically, won't ask to watch movies, but still need constant amusement. It's actually kind of funny how easily distracted they are. It's not unusual for them to request 3 different activities within 2 minutes. I say "we'll see" each and every time. Then they usually demand that I tickle them. Somehow, some way they end up getting distracted from their demanding and amuse themselves somehow.
All the kids definitely get their play time. For that I am thankful.
2. Tigger said the following at 7:42 AM on Aug 28:
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I'm just barely 26, and I remember a time when I used to "go out to play." (My father is older - raised in the 40's & 50's, and my mother is old-school.) I had weekly piano lessons and basketball practice for one year, but that was it. Most of the time, my brother and I were outside in our huge yard full of climbable trees, or building forts in the snow, or playing volleyball over the clothesline, or riding bikes down the single block to the school playground. We were given freedom to just fool around as long as our parents knew where we were. Tv viewing was restricted; tvs were not allowed in bedrooms till we were teenagers, and we didn't have a computer till we got old enough to need one for school (which I know isn't as easily done nowadays). By that, I mean that we had a family computer that we shared, so that was restricted too.
This probably went a long way toward developing both my and my brother's imaginations. We both want creative professions - I want to be a writer; he wants to design video games - we both want to tell stories and create adventures. Having had the unstructured freedom helped us explore and really encouraged a hunger to find the answers to the big questions.
I never did the lemonade stand, though. I wonder if I missed out...?
3. Charles H. said the following at 7:42 AM on Aug 28:
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For me, the "simulated" outdoor bike ride didn't seem so dreary simply because the weather here is pretty variable; if it helps people to exercise while it's pouring down rain, or while it's 20 degrees outside, then hey, cool.
But with that said, the statistics you quoted were simply shocking. You left out one important bit: those reduction in playtime (up to 501 minutes in the study) is *per week*! 501 minutes is over eight hours, meaning that children in this group have lost over an hour a day of play.
I found another anecdote from the original article quite telling. A New York City mother gave her nine-year-old son a MetroCard, $20, a subway map, and quarters to call her for help if he should get lost -- then had him go home by himself. He arrived without incident, and apparently found the independence thrilling, but according to the author this created a minor scandal. That jibes with my own experiences: parents are now cautioned about everything you can imagine and several things you probably can't. The very act of going outside is viewed as dangerous: quick, put on some sunblock lest Junior get skin cancer!
The weird thing is that in the long term, I think this overzealous attempt to eliminate risk has the opposite effect. When these kids reach college, as is now starting to happen, they explore their newfound freedoms with startling fervor -- and without any real preparation. Was anyone else shocked to see today's article on a study of 150 people's 21st birthdays?
4. Christina (in green) said the following at 7:46 AM on Aug 28:
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Much over 30...
I'm 24 and I grew up like that. I remember my friends in the neighborhood setting up a lemonade stand while I bemoaned a stomach virus on our living room couch on a really hot summer day when the a/c was broke.
I remember bike racing, riding down hills with hands in the air, and exploring every corner of the 4 differen neighborhoods in our area.
I even remember exploring the woods behind a friends house where i swear we found a strawberry patch!
Falling out of trees, stepping on nails...it was more fun than can be counted.
I want my kids to be able to grow up like that. Is it really that impossible to do?
5. James said the following at 8:22 AM on Aug 28:
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Actually, there's no reason parents shouldn't let their children have unstructured playtime!
Just make sure the proper safeguards are in place like they were back when we were kids, and then let them go play, even though it doesn't help mom's anxiety (I think this is a universal trait: moms worry when their kids aren't under their watchful eye, even when they KNOW the kids will be alright.....something about it being in the job description is what mine told me).
6. Khalil said the following at 8:27 AM on Aug 28:
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what is wrong with letting kids be kids? Part of learning is experience...pleasure and pain, success and failure. Obviously we won't want to set up children for major injury, emotional or physical, but overzealous use of antibiotics, fear of the outdoors, helicopter-parenting due to fear of...gasp!, a bruise or something similar...all of these things (and more) is leading us towards having children that are afraid of their own shadows.
Learning healthy boudnaries, physical and emotional, takes mistakes. Using an experience from my childhood (around age 7 or 8 I think) as an example: I was walking in the woods with my father. We were on the edge of a field with electric fencing. As I was about to climb the fence he warned me that it was "hot" and would shock me if I touched it. Well, I didn't believe him so I did what any male child at the time probably would have done. I look him in the eyes and grabbed on to the fence in an act of defiance. My dad was right and my fingers and hand were numb for a while. Had he physically prevented me from touching the fence I wouldn't have learned how to recognize electric fences or to take my parent's warning more seriously. A little dirt, a few scrapes, and some tears don't scar kids for life.
7. Becca said the following at 9:05 AM on Aug 28:
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A few years ago, I remember reading an article saying how kids need downtime to be creative and also to think through problems they may be having like if they are facing a bully at school. Kids' schedules are too structured these days for such things. I have a little girl who is almost 5 years old. I'm trying my best to limit TV time, providing books and creative projects instead. I want her best memories of childhood to be our trips to the library, playing in the backyard for hours, and baking banana bread with mommy rather than hours of watching SpongeBob and playing every sport under the sun.
8. Chris said the following at 9:20 AM on Aug 28:
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I remember when I was little that my free range was earshot of a whistle. My free time was until the street lights came on. (Woe unto me if I didn't hear the whistle or appear at the driveway when the lights came on.) At my friend's house, we'd go down into the canyon to explore and play. The only thing we worried about was getting harassed by the illegal aliens (this was San Diego) looking for water or spare change (of which we had neither).
I didn't play an organized sport until I ran track and cross-country in high school, and I turned out fine.
The article hit the nail on the head with our overblown fears for our children. The biggest fear is child predators....which ignores the fact that your child is more likely to be molested when visiting the home of a known neighbor/friend/relative than being snatched away walking to school.
I think there's one other big thing that kids miss when they don't engage in outdoor freeplay by themselves. They don't learn to fall, get a cut, cry for a minute, brush it off, and start playing again....all without looking for an adult. Very important life skill, if you ask me.
9. Lucie said the following at 9:28 AM on Aug 28:
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Nearing 50, I do indeed remember these days...and how I had an incredulous desire to laugh when I first heard the term "play date."
10. Joshua C said the following at 9:37 AM on Aug 28:
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As a parent of a 3 year old and a 10 month old I can really relate to this post. I grew up on a farm and we spent a minimum of 2 hours a day outside roaming around. My parents still live there but the whole area is much more commercialized and I would not feel the same way about letting my children explore like I did as a child. Today, we let our children play in our yard, checking on them frequently from the kitchen window but more often then not are actually in the yard with them. As our kids grow older, we don't want them to be scheduled 24 hours a day but look forward to 'play time' with them. I may be a father, but I'm still a kid at heart and need play time too. :)
11. Rachael said the following at 9:42 AM on Aug 28:
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It'll be nice to be outside while the kids play. I hope to give my future kids (Lord-willing) both unstructured and structured opportunities.
I was born in 1980, and there was lots of unstructured time outside with other kids (though I also had some structured time [lessons/sports]). I think one time when at a friend's house we even attempted to sell water in a small cul-de-sac :). Needless to say, I never majored in Business...
One downside of unstructured time is when the kids get older...I think there was more hanging out in idleness later in my childhood years (before high school, though) when hanging out with neighbors. I don't think our hanging out was always the best thing, and the time could often have been better spent using our time in other ways.
12. composer girl said the following at 10:15 AM on Aug 28:
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So true. I didn't have personal experience with this in my childhood, but I can see how it is a problem.
I lived out in the country growing up, and loved every minute of it. If you have the option, raise your kids in the country, not a city or a suburb. We never worried about strange people taking off with us; our biggest concerns were snakes and the occasional wild dog.
Most people don't have that option, but there are still ways to let your kids have unstructured play time, even if you're keeping an eye on them. Take them to the local park on a regular basis and just let them play. Or better yet, get together with another friend (or friends) of yours who has children, let the kids play together (they'll keep themselves entertained for hours), and have plenty of grown-up talking time. Take them out for bike rides, you leading the pack and your spouse or oldest child bringing up the rear for safety. Take them fishing if you or they enjoy that, or go rent a canoe for a day one weekend. The options are endless, you just have to get creative. Just don't overschedule your kids lives. Let them just play and make up their own games instead of feeling obliged to sign them up for sports or other structured activities.
13. Jaime said the following at 10:18 AM on Aug 28:
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Thanks for this reminder. I'm a bicentennial baby and have a 2 1/2 year old. I have friends who probably would say I don't keep a close enough eye on him because I don't follow him onto the playground equipment in our fenced backyard. I stand back and watch or make myself comfortable in a lawn chair. We go for bike rides together (he in his wagon which attaches to my bike).
Kids need adults to to teach them, but they also need time to play without us breathing down their necks! At some point (no, not at 2 1/2), we have to trust that we've taught them well enough that they'll be safe out there.
14. Adam said the following at 10:23 AM on Aug 28:
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I suppose I see this as parental choice. The freedom is still there for kids to have free time - or roam around NYC. But the parents have to decide to allow it. When I have kids I'm probably going to tend to allow more freedom than I was given to wander and play.
15. Suzanne said the following at 1:54 PM on Aug 28:
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Tigger (#2)...totally missed out! I once cut horse pictures out of magazines, glued the pictures to construction paper and sold them at the end of my driveway. My mom didn't know about that. I got in a little trouble when she found out and got a talking to about offering a quality product. :)
16. Rachael said the following at 2:10 PM on Aug 28:
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Ha ha, Suzanne, that's so cute about the horse pictures!! :)
17. BDB said the following at 2:19 PM on Aug 28:
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So...Suzanne was doing clip art without a computer, eh? I guess she should take that as one of those "guidance" things from God leading to a career as a children's magazine editor...
18. BDB said the following at 2:46 PM on Aug 28:
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Charles H (#3) wrote:
>>I found another anecdote from the original article quite telling. A New York City mother gave her nine-year-old son a MetroCard, $20, a subway map, and quarters to call her for help if he should get lost -- then had him go home by himself.<<
I read the original article by Lenore Skenazy - but it was her 9 or 10 year old son who ASKED to be left somewhere to find his way home. She let him do it - with some trepidation - but wrote the article exploring how she did that as a kid, why was she afraid to do it as a mom?
It reminds me of a story I read long ago in The Great Brain (I think) where a kid asked his dad for a nickel to buy something at the fair. His father, in front of some other men, asked him first to explain what it takes to grow a bushel of potatoes (I think). The kid describes the process accurately - and his dad gives him a silver dollar instead of a nickel. Which he is then too afraid to spend. But it served as a reminder that kids can do a lot more than some adults give them credit for...
19. Suzanne said the following at 2:51 PM on Aug 28:
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BDB, That's an interesting thought. I also produced a grand total of two issues of "The Hadley Press" when I was in fifth grade. I featured my sister Sarah as "Family Member of the Month." Among her newsworthy characteristics were the facts that she liked to clean and play with her cat.
20. BDB said the following at 3:42 PM on Aug 28:
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Suzanne (#19) wrote:
>>I featured my sister Sarah as "Family Member of the Month." Among her newsworthy characteristics were the facts that she liked to clean and play with her cat.<<
Ah...that reminds me when I had five staff members and one suggested that we do a departmental "employee of the month." I asked, "So, does that mean we all get it twice per year?"
Seriously, though, sometimes it's easier to see God's hand looking back at the tapestry of life. One of the things I liked about Boy Scouts is that it required 21 merit badges in different disciplines. I recently came across my old merit-badge sash and realized that I completed degrees in fields where my interests were first sparked doing a merit badge.
21. Vanessa said the following at 3:54 PM on Aug 28:
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I'm 29 and lived in the suburbs, and still know the neighborhood I grew up in like the back of my hand from literally years of riding my bike to and from friends' houses and all the rides in between.
I also had a lemonade stand and once staged a "talent show" in the front yard, complete with leotard and baton-twirling (dropping it every other toss!). Those were the days.
Even now, as I'm stuck in an office all day...I sometimes tell my co-workers that I want to "go outside and play" and they think I'm nuts. But I LOVE exploring my new town here on the Atlantic Coast. Instead of a bike, I have a convertible. I still want to get a bike though. Ahhhhh. I love outdoors!
22. Bridget said the following at 7:15 PM on Aug 28:
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BDB (#18)
The scene you referenced is from "Farmer Boy" by Laura Ingalls Wilder-- chapter 16, page 181 in the Harper Collins hardback (sorry, English major, can't help it.) Yes, at first Almanzo was too scared to spend it, but then he invested in a pig as an independent business venture. Great use of the reference.
I love "The Great Brain" too-- also a good book enforcing letting kids be kids and giving them the opportunity to prove themselves.
23. Leah said the following at 7:23 PM on Aug 28:
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I'm 20- born in 1987. While it's probably true I missed out on some of the "going out to play"- and I was never allowed to leave our property, probably because we lived on a busy road- I was still encouraged to go and play in the backyard, and Dad often took me and my siblings for walks with our dog through the bush (which then came up to our back fence). I began having freedom to wander the streets when I started highschool (12 years old) whenever I visited my grandparents' place, who lived on much quieter roads- not to mention my best friend lived down the road and round the corner from them!
Unfortunately I didn't have neighbourhood friends- my friends were from school and did not live in my neighbourhood. I also didn't learn to ride a bike til I was in grade 4, so I never rode to friends' places etc until I was 15.
Fortunately, on the quiet road where my husband and I now live, we often see neighbourhood kids out on their bikes, scooters or rollerblades, but I don't think I've ever seen them leave our road (which winds around into a ring road before meeting a busy main road).
24. Esther said the following at 7:35 PM on Aug 28:
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BDB, wasn't it Almonzo Wilder in "Farmer Boy" who was asked to describe the value of a nickel?
I grew up in a small town where everyone knew everybody else. After the age of about 5-6, I pretty much had free reign. Maybe my parents were idealistic, but we kids rode our bikes all over town, swam in the river, hiked in the woods, made all kinds of forts, played days-long games of make-believe, and just had to be back for supper. Woe to us if we weren't, but other than that we roamed freely. It helped that my sister and I are very close in age, and did almost everything together, so Mom could trust us to watch out for each other.
Maybe one of the problems today is that with smaller families, siblings aren't looking after each other, and the parents have to do it. (That builds responsibility too). I do remember my mom getting upset once when we were gone for 5 hours on an adventure. She hadn't been worried about us being gone that long, but was concerned that we had gone as far as we did without telling anyone. The funniest part is that a young man (a stranger to me) had joined us along the way and walked us all the way home. Turns out he was my grandparents neighbor, perfectly harmless, and probably wanted to be sure 3 young girls were safe (we were probably 12-14 at the time). Ah, the innocence of youth.
25. farmer Tom said the following at 7:50 PM on Aug 28:
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This comment is supposed to be funny. Please do not take offense, it was simply my first thought when I read the comment and it made me laugh. Besides, I've done the same thing, only it involved a little boy and urination. Talk about stupid.
Well, I didn't believe him so I did what any male child at the time probably would have done. I look him in the eyes and grabbed on to the fence in an act of defiance. My dad was right and my fingers and hand were numb for a while.
So that's what happened to Khalil !!
It's a joke. It just stuck me as funny.
In my case, it wasn't my fingers that were numb!!!!
26. brx said the following at 9:26 PM on Aug 28:
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Suzanne wrote:
"I find it frustrating that my kids won't get to roam freely outdoors like I did."
Maybe they should be kept within earshot at 4yrs old, but why won't they be able to run freely? Surely there are plenty of 'safe' neighborhoods where the community watches out for each other. :)
grace, peace & adventure!
27. Eliana said the following at 9:46 PM on Aug 28:
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Actually, the nickel/silver dollar incident is from Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder. :)
And yes, we lived in the country and had a lot of unscheduled play time and loved every minute of it! If I have kids, I hope they could enjoy the same.
28. Elisabeth said the following at 8:48 AM on Aug 29:
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Re: #18
BDB,
I believe that story was from "Farmer Boy" by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Or maybe it was just similar. Almonzo was the boy's name and he actually did spend the money--on a pig instead of the lemonade that he originally wanted. His reason being that he could raise the pig and make more money off of it in the long run then he could just drinking some lemonade. That was always an inspiring book to me because Almonzo was allowed to quit school early because he had learned everything he needed to know in order to be a farmer like he wanted. He could even do mental arithmetic better then I can now and he didn't even complete 8th grade!
You are right...kids can do a lot more then we give them credit for!
29. |)/\\/E said the following at 7:20 PM on Aug 29:
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The lesson I learned growing up was don't even look bored around an adult, or you would end up doing something usually a chore.
I don't think its good that most parents allow their kids to demand to be entertained. When kids aren't kept so busy with activities they are better at playing and making up their own games.
30. Another Leah said the following at 9:31 PM on Sep 3:
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I remember twenty-some years ago. Mama was the "mean" type, hardly letting us watch any tv or play shoot the duck and other exciting video games. We had plenty of good times in spite of that. Like selling Otter Pops for 25 cents, advertised on the big easel sign at the end of our driveway. Our meter reader would often stop to buy them. We sold cool rocks to the neighbor kids, among other things, and after learning the basics of cake decorating, I started making cakes for holidays. I'd take my goods door to door displayed in a blanket-lined wheelbarrel until someone purchased my handiwork. And then there were the days of 5-kid parades. I'm still amazed that Mama was willing to swallow her pride and march down the street with us. My older sister with the American flag, my younger tapping away on the plastic drum hanging around her neck, our mentally handicapped neighbor girl covering her mouth the entire route, embarrassed by the recently (and often) acquired cool-aid stain on her upper lip. I laugh to think of how we must have looked, but those are some of the best memories of my life. Mama always made us come in when the street lights came on, but she made sure we didn't miss out on playtime.
31. Daniel E. Friedman said the following at 4:51 AM on Sep 23:
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Free play time is essential for developing a child's imagination. Parental supervision is, of course, also essential.
I believe that one of the main obstructions that prevents free time is probably an overload of homework. Hopefully, some schools' homework policies will ease up in the future (already, we are seeing signs of this in certain school boards).
32. Jewelz said the following at 3:01 PM on Dec 3:
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Like most of you here, my childhood was adventurous I guess you could say. Bike riding, climbing trees, catching tadpoles, going into the woods (except for when it was deer hunting season!), digging up worms, catching toads, sleepovers...just to name a few.
Can I mention playgrounds? Now, the playgrounds I played on were made out of metal/steel (whatever it's called) and it was usually built on top of concrete!
The playgrounds today? PLASTIC! Every play thing is being converted to plastic it seems. All in the name of safety I'm sure.
Seems like kids these days are growing up wimps. They don't know what it's like to get hurt, and when they do, they don't know how to deal with it (or get over it). "Put a helmet on!" as Brad Stein would say. If you don't know who he is, I suggest you check him out! Great comedian!
No pain, no gain!!!!!