Frugal Wedding Ideas
by Heather Koerner on 07/16/2008 at 12:01 AM
It's obviously high wedding season, because everywhere I turn I'm seeing $99 wedding dress sale ads and "What's Hot in Weddings This Year" cable news pieces.
According to one Web site, one of this year's must-haves is white T-shirts with either "Bride" across the front in sparkly rhinestones or, for the rest of us, "Bridesmaid." Now, if any of you budding brides out there have actually purchased these I apologize in advance. But if there's anything that seems harder to me than finding an occasion to wear my bridesmaid's dresses again, it would be walking out of the house with "Bridesmaid" emblazoned across my shirt. Oh, yeah, everybody. That's right. I'm a bridesmaid and proud of it.
Still, rather than closing our eyes and praying that our engaged friends don't go to that particular Web site, I was thinking that we could pool some wisdom. If you're married, you've probably done a wedding. If you're not married, there's a really good chance that you'll be the bride (or groom) someday. (And don't must of us gals think about our future weddings--even just a little bit?)
The average wedding, according to CNN Money, hit $26,327 in 2005. Yipes! If that's on credit cards, make that yipes to the 10th power. Even if all that has been paid for with cash (which I doubt), wouldn't it be nicer to start married life with a little more cash in hand?
So, do you have any ideas on how to keep weddings less expensive? How can we celebrate the joining of a man and woman without breaking the bank? (All anti-wedding grumps, please feel free to keep your kvetching to yourself.)
Here's a few from my own experience:
- Keep the numbers down. I thought that I needed to invite every college friend and parental business acquaintance to my wedding. My sister had around 75 at hers. Hers was incredibly beautiful and intimate, and I think she still talks to a much higher percentage of her wedding guests than I do.
- My own wedding cake: traditional and costly. My sister's: a yummy chocolate-covered strawberry creation of deliciousness and not as much. Lesson: White tiers are pricey. Go for the alternatives. We didn't even mention the word "wedding" when ordering at the bakery. Saved us some serious dough (te, he).
And, remember, you can do a lot more for your wedding if you forgo the sparkly tees. As to those dresses ... hmmm ... maybe I need to take a cruise.
1. Iris said the following at 12:28 AM on Jul 16:
We got married about 5 1/2 years ago and managed to keep the costs down to around $5,000 (it was probably less, I'm not sure about the total price as my parents paid most of it).
Things we did to keep down the cost:
- Have a smaller wedding (we only had about 50 guests....but that was partially b/c my husband came from another country and most of his family and friends couldn't come).
- Find a church to fit the number of guests. We used a small church but had our own pastor do the ceremony.
- Buy you dress on sale (previous seasons models are usually very nice and still in).
- Keep the wedding party to a smaller number....will save you in gifts for those participating
- Use in season flowers....a big saver!!
- If you know someone who bakes well, arrange with them to make the cake (you can even make it a tier cake)
- Use in season things for decorating. We got married in the fall so the reception decorations were all fall type stuff. My parents even arranged for a bride and groom scarecrows.
- If you know someone who cooks well and you have a smaller wedding, consider asking them to do the catering. We had my aunt and uncle do ours. Another option my brother did was to have a number of the guest make food items in lieu of wedding gifts. My other brother had finger foods, again done by family and friends.
- If you know someone who takes good photos, ask them to do the photos. They may not be so professional, but as was the case with our photos, they turned out much better then the professional my brother had as his wedding. It's cheaper and easier to make mutiples.
Ok, those were my tips! Hope this helps some of you.
Iris :-)
2. H.A.P. said the following at 5:18 AM on Jul 16:
My husband and I had a gorgeous ceremony last August for about $2,000 not including rings. (I have no problem spending money making those special by engraving ect... as they are the only thing from your wedding you will have with you every day.)
I learned from my sister's wedding four years earlier that less really is more... she had six bridesmaids, 300 invitations, dinner reception, and every inch of the church decorated including the bathrooms! I had never been as stressed or as tired in my life and I was only the maid of honor! I did not want to remember my own wedding that way. My husband and I decided to not be tied to any expectations and only include things really important to us. We wanted our wedding to be as relaxed and enjoyable as possible.
1) My biggest piece of advice would be use the talents of your friends and family! I had my heart set on a wedding cheese cake. My sister created a delicious three tier cake with satellite cakes that everyone raved about for about $60. (We found a stand for $18.) We added some fruit, nuts, and cookies for a lovely mid-afternoon reception.
2) Don't overdo accessories! Before you by another favor or candle stick ask yourself what impact will this item have on the overall wedding. Is it worth the cost? Little things add up especially when you buy one for each guest or each table. I choose to have napkins printed since they were something we needed anyway and could be a favor as well.
2) Rent when it makes since. We rented a little arbor, folding chairs, a small tent for the cake, and linens for less than $400. We had our wedding outside in the yard beside the church. (no fee) I think the outdoors is always nice and needs very little decoration. The church made a nice backdrop.
For the groom and groomsmen, skip renting tuxes and buy coordinating ties. This can be the guy's gift as well.
3)Enlist everyone you know to find a reasonably priced photographer! This was some thing that was important to us and we finally someone who was very good but not professional...he charged $320!!!!!!! Be sure to ask to see pictures of other weddings they have done though.
5)My last bit of advice is take as long a honeymoon as you possibly can with the money you save!!! Go to as secluded a destination as you dare and don't plan anything for the first few days. You won't regret it!
3. Louise said the following at 5:45 AM on Jul 16:
Nice article, Heather.
Another cost saving option is to forego the limousine.
Have a friend or relative drive you around in his/her car.
4. Tara said the following at 6:02 AM on Jul 16:
I'm planning my wedding right now and I'm finding it next to impossible to keep costs down. I'd love to keep it small and simple but my parents are in control and they tell me I'll regret "cutting corners". Also, you do get what you pay for...especially in regards to the photographer. And before you think of just asking your friend who "likes to take pictures" realize that it's a super, super tough job and if you want your friend to enjoy the day at all you can't have him or her behind the camera. Though, if you can, going with an amateur with a decent portfolio could be an option.
I agree with the idea that you don't have to tell people it's for a wedding when ordering things. The word "wedding" seems to double prices. Also, you don't have to go with the wedding package at your respective halls. The "regular" banquet plans are quite extensive & nice for 1/4 of the cost.
I am not OK with spending an entire year's wage on one day but the wedding business is so established that it's very hard to break free. If you do decide to go that route be prepared for huge resistence from well-meaning relatives or face accusations of being cheap.
5. EJV said the following at 6:10 AM on Jul 16:
Perfect timing! My wedding is this Saturday, and we will have spent 6k on it including a 7 day honeymoon in Hawaii.
Our church is gorgeous, so we are having the ceremony and reception there. Since we are members, we don't have to pay a dime for this, except to the person who will be setting up the reception and the sound supervisor. The sanctuary will be decorated with candles. I'm getting flowers from Sams for the bouquets, and grew the flowers for the bouttonieres (calla lilies!)
A lot of our friends are extremely talented musicians, so they are playing at our ceremony for free. We did hire a couple of music students thrilled to make $50 for playing for 45 minutes and a jazz pianist for the reception (we are paying him his full price though.)
My photographer is a friend of mine for whom I've been doing a lot of design work. So we worked out a barter, and I'll pay him as much as my work doesn't cover. I designed my own wedding invitations, too! I also made the jewelry for all my bridesmaids (who are wearing a black dress that they already owned instead of spending hundreds of dollars on a dress that they'll only wear once.)
We are having an afternoon reception, so there's no dinner served; just appetizers, cupcakes, beer, wine, and other non-alcoholic beverages. We grew wheatgrass for the centerpieces the tables at the reception. A couple of our friends are bartending.
This wedding is turning out to be a labor of love for everyone involved. All our friends are really excited for us, so they're willing to pitch in to help us have a great time.
The wedding industry is seriously messed up. We went in to jewelry store after jewelry store wanting simple wedding bands and we were met by pushy saleswomen who were either ignorant (titanium rings can't be cut off during emergencies...your finger would have to be cut off) or judgmental (honey, you need to have diamonds in your wedding band, you're a woman!)
6. obewan said the following at 6:31 AM on Jul 16:
---The average wedding, according to CNN Money, hit $26,327 in 2005.---
I know someone in 1985 that spent at least $50K on the dinner alone. (1000 guests at $50 a plate.) At that time, a brand new very nice 3-bedroom home cost only $80K. Would it not be better for the father of the bride to skip the fancy wedding and just buy them a new house?
In the same time period, I knew a couple that had a very nice large wedding for only a few hundred dollars - complete with a string quartet. The key was they did all the work on their own food. They bought gobs of tubs of prepared food and just threw them in the church ovens before the ceremony began.
7. Tonni Geezer said the following at 7:01 AM on Jul 16:
Go off season! We got married in December in Ontario, and the snow outside was beautiful, not mention we had almost no competition in terms of getting a hall, church sanctuary, caterer, photographer etc. etc... plus, we bought lovely Christmas decorations for the reception, and now we never need to purchase Christmas decorations again!
8. Becca M said the following at 7:23 AM on Jul 16:
One thing I've seen with some friend's wedding was the difference between an all-inclusive wedding or a do-it-yourself wedding. I believed we saved money and had a better wedding because we had separate vendors for flowers/food/rentals/location. Usually if a place is "all-inclusive", they're probably good at a few things and not so great at other things.
It may seem overwhelming to do it yourself but just ask for recommendations. Our caterer was used by a friend and she recommended the florist and the rental company (which saved us money and time because of those connections) and the florist recommended our WONDERFUL photographers. We were able to plan the bulk of our wedding in a week!
But one of the expenses I wish I would have taken was to have the florist make a test bouquet for me to see. I ended up liking the bridesmaids bouquets better than my own!
But if you have good connections with family/friends or a church family, use those! One friend had the church women make the food for their dessert reception. Most people love helping with your special day.
9. Christina (in green) said the following at 7:25 AM on Jul 16:
And don't must of us gals think about our future weddings--even just a little bit?
That made me laugh. I've had my wedding planned since I was 13.
My sister got married a couple years ago and I remember it being a bit pricey...and she also had no idea what she wanted =p
Other tips for keeping cost down:
- Make it an INDOOR wedding...especially in a church. You don't have to worry about the cost of setting up chairs or an "altar".
- Utilize your connections to the best of your ability. I have a friend who is a chef (and makes excellent cakes), my uncle is a priest, I know several seamstresses, I have several musically talented friends, and someone with DJ experience =p
- Avoid wedding planners =p
$100 for a dress really isn't too shabby. I want to get married in April, so I don't know how much dresses cost around that time...
10. Meg43254 said the following at 7:27 AM on Jul 16:
1. Make your own invitations. GIMP is a free software that can help with that, but if you want easy, just download free fonts and have fun.
2. Do your own flowers. We bought calla lilies off of the Sam's Club website and just wrapped them together with ribbons the day of the wedding. Just make sure you do your research and pick a flower that will last throughout the day and not be too flimsy.
3. Ask for help. Most people have tons of talent in their families and friends and usually they're more than willing to help.
4. Cut out extras that aren't necessary. Most of the frivolous extras that the wedding industry says are a must have are things that neither you nor your guests will notice or remember. Just pick a few things that are most important to the two of you and put your time and energy into those things.
5. And in my personal experience--have a short engagement. There's a whole lot less time to find all plethose extras that you have to have. With little time you have no choice but to focus on the most important things.
For great ideas I spent some time at Craftster's Occasions-and-Holidays forum looking at wedding crafts.
11. a sassy sister said the following at 7:30 AM on Jul 16:
as far as the sparkly tees go, you could always take the DIY route.
12. Melissa said the following at 7:34 AM on Jul 16:
Weddings can be seriously expensive. I was just married in May of this year and our whole wedding costs probably around $3,000.
We did almost everything ourselves, specifically we made the invitations with materials got at a good price off ebay.
One thing that blessed us was that our church family graciously used their gifts to help out with our wedding. One lady at church made our cake for free, we borrowed all of our decorations for the sanctuary and reception from people at church who had been married recently. I can't brag enough on our church family's support!
13. julieH said the following at 7:34 AM on Jul 16:
We were pretty frugal with our wedding. Some cost savers...
- Do a dessert reception instead of a full meal.
- Use iTunes instead of a DJ for music.
- Print your own invitations and programs.
- Hit after Christmas and valentines for lights, decorations, and bridesmaid/groomsman gifts.
- Do the wedding and reception in the same place - only one venue to decorate.
- Find a photographer who shoots digital and will give you a disk with pictures. Design and print your own album.
- Have talented friends help with any of the above.
:-)
14. Diane said the following at 7:36 AM on Jul 16:
The wedding "business" is such a racket. With the expos and "vendors" and magazines detailing every new trend...not only is is perpetuating a sad characteristic of our culture, but it capitalizes on a woman's desire for beauty and elegance on a very important day of her life.
I am married...planned my own wedding, still cost upward of 10,000 dollars and am currently planning my sister's August wedding on a similar budget, closer to 12,000. My biggest gripe is this sense of individualism and entitlement (Anyone watch Bridezillas?)which furthers this astronomically (expensively) popular market. There are some things which will just cost money, whether you do it on a budget or not. Practically, it's what you think is most important. My husband and I didn't want to limit our guest list, but we wanted a cozy dinner, but no-fuss, intimate ceremony. We rented our large church's dining hall (it looks like a hotel) and had a family-only ceremony with no attendants and splurged on the meal. At the end, it will be the heart which determines the tone and spending, I think. The attitude going in says a lot.
15. aj said the following at 7:38 AM on Jul 16:
Ooooh! Budget wedding planning. My husband and I are quite the experts on this subject. We pulled together a lovely (traditional) wedding for less than $4000 two years ago.
Although keeping numbers low may be an option for some, it wasn't for us! Both of us have VERY large extended families and we wanted the people who have loved and supported us to witness our union. We ended up with 220 guests.
1. My first hint is try to get married at your home church, using your own pastor. Often there is no charge for using the church's facilities if you are a member and your pastor will probably be more than happy to provide pre-marital counseling and the ceremony at no cost. We did end up giving a donation to our church (although not required) for the janitorial services and also gave our pastor a gift card to a local restaurant for his time.
2. Our reception was at our church-owned gymnasium/fellowship center. The facility rental was low, and with a little help from AC Moore, we were able to make it look very nice. We hired a caterer and kept costs down by ordering his "picnic" menu which consisted of BBQ sandwiches and chicken breasts and sides buffet style. It was under $10 per person.
3. Enlist the help of friends and family who have talents! My mother-in-law made my wedding dress and the bridesmaids dresses. They were beautiful and meant so much more to me than store-bought. Even a local seamstress could be more cost-effective than a purchased dress. We had an older lady from church make our wedding cake. She loved doing it and it cost much less than ordering from a bakery. We also had talented friends provide our ceremony music. We did not have a DJ or dancing at the reception, rather a group of our friends entertained the crowd by singing to get us to kiss. We also hired a photographer to take the basic pictures, but a friend with a good camera took the candids. My cousins did our hair and makeup.
4.Don't go overboard on flowers and decorations, all you need are a few simple plants and simple bouquets. I actually used silk. No one knew the difference. That way my mom and I arranged them beforehand, and I still have my wedding bouquet! Remember, if it says "wedding" it will be expensive. Instead of buying a $20 Unity Candle, I bought a $2 white pillar candle and tied a pretty ribbon around it.
5. Make your own invitations. You can save money by getting one of the kits or you can buy pretty paper at a craft store and completely do it yourself. A little extra work, but well worth it.
6. Borrow, borrow, borrow...
We borrowed decorations, candle holders, a cake table etc...and enlisted the help of friends to return the items.
7. Don't take an exotic honeymoon. Go somewhere where you can relax and just be together. Let's face it, you'll spend most of your time in the hotel room anyway.
The most important thing to remember is that although you want your wedding to be a treasured memory, try to focus more on your relationship and have your wedding be witness to your love for each other and Christ's love for the Church. An expensive wedding does not a happy marriage make.
16. Julie said the following at 7:40 AM on Jul 16:
I just got married a few months ago, and everyone commented on how elegant our wedding was -- which I thought was great, especially since I only invited 40 people.
Keeping the list to 40, I was able to have the wedding I wanted. And honestly, I really anymore don't have that many casual accquaintences to invite, and neither did my husband. Maybe it's our ages (29 and 34)? ??? We would have right after college, but that wasn't when we met.
My other tips -
I had my best friend take engagement pictures (she's a budding photographer, and knew us and so I think they turned out much better), and we used those to make announcement postcards on Overnite.com which I sent after the wedding to all who attended and the few people I knew who might be interested (but not enough to want to attend or be invited) and doubled as telling people my new address -- $70 for over 100 -- and people told me they thought they were really trendy and cool. Use the oversized ones, which are more unexpected and leave more room for pictures and graphics.
My best friend also did the pictures, and then I also hired a woman off of craigslist who is trying to build her professional portfolio who took over 500 pictures of our wedding, which she put on a CD and gave me full reprint rights to, for only $70 plus gas to/from my event. So I had two photographers, plus my new brother-in-law videotaped everything and made copies that he sent to everyone in the family.
I hired a harpist who was a cousin of a friend of mine; she did the entire four hours of my wedding/reception for $200. I hired girls from the Christian college that I got married at to sing who were doing our song (Be Thou My Vision) as part of their senior recital. They sang like angels and it gave me an opportunity to bless some poor broke college girls!
My point is -- be creative! Do not use necessarily the traditional wedding venue's ideas of things to do. Certainly, I had a white dress (okay, mine was ivory, but I'm really fair-skinned!) and a unity candle (check out ThingsRemembered.com). But making the programs ourselves (my groom did them -- including tieing the ribbons on them the night before the wedding with his best friend from college!) and forgoing traditions that didn't work for us, like having attendants, helped a lot with our finances, since we were paying for the wedding ourselves.
But we saved a lot of money because with such a small guest list, and some problems in my family, we decided to forego having attendants. This saddened me at first, but really did help with the price. I always felt that if I got married, I'd pay for my attendants or have none at all. I think it's wrong to ask people to be part of YOUR day, dress them how YOU want, and then ask them to pay horrendous amounts for all this, in addition to the time and effort they are putting toward helping you with your event. I saved on flowers as I only had my bouquet and then boutonneires for our parents and a select other special people. Saving on flowers, from all I could find, is rather difficult unless you use really cheap ones.
With no attendants, my husband and I decided to go more casual with our attire. My dress plus tiara was $500 at David's Bridal, and when I wore it at the store, people stopped me to tell me how lovely I looked. You CAN look good in a dress for less. But mine was a tea-length -- you have to not try to look flounced and ruffled all over if you do a less than $1,000 dress. My husband wore a very nice, black pinstriped suit he already owned and was much happier that way than wearing a tux. I even had extra money in my budget to buy a nice emerald (we got married on St. Patrick's Day) silky evening dress (on sale -- $20!) for dinner out on my honeymoon, and some fancy shoes and a clutch to go with my wedding dress.
For the venue, I chose a Christian college who was all-inclusive. They handled all the details, including the reception, and they did a beautiful job. We even honeymooned at the hotel that they also run, and had our out-of-town guests stay there too, which meant we got a group rate.
Even with all of these things, our wedding plus honeymoon cost us about $5,000 total for everything (excepting our rings, that was more). But it was the beautiful, God-honoring, romantic day of days I've hoped for all these many years.
My biggest advice is no matter how much you spend, think about if it is essential to injecting meaning and memory to the day for you or your loved ones, and if it isn't, think twice. It is a day of beauty and stillness, and joy, not just of frivolity. Don't just get things because everyone else does. Check your cultural expectations of what a wedding should be. Some of it is created by the industry to sell things.
Also -- stop and ENJOY everything as much as you can. Don't let yourself be caught up in the sweeping moment too much. Look around, take pictures, BREATHE. Most of us only have one wedding day! Believe me, it's enough. I loved my wedding, I love being married -- but GETTING married was exhausting. God bless to all the couples and best wishes to all the brides! (btw -- it is considered impolite to wish brides "congratulations" -- it implies they finally "hooked one")
17. Mary said the following at 7:46 AM on Jul 16:
I got married two months ago. We were on a tight budget, but we pulled off a beautiful wedding!
If you have the time and energy (and/or a lot of willing family and friends), you can do a lot of projects yourself.
For example, I had two florists -- one who arranged the bridal party flowers (bouquets, boutonnieres) and one who was a wholesaler. We bought several dozen roses from the wholesaler and arranged them in vases ourselves for the tables and for hanging from shepherds' hooks for the outdoor ceremony. The wholesale roses were $10 a dozen and just as beautiful as the professional florist's. We saved hundreds of dollars just on the flowers.
18. Loris said the following at 7:46 AM on Jul 16:
My wedding cost about $5500 total. I was a member of my church, so I only had to pay for cleanup, I had a finger-food reception and because my church's fellowship hall wasn't suitable for dancing, there was no need to hire a DJ, I scoured craft and home decoration stores' clearance aisles for interesting candlesticks and other decorations that I could use in the wedding and later in my home. The church made the Women in the Church's decoration closet available to me and I was able to use some of their candles and silk flowers to add to what I'd bought. Also, we printed our own invitations instead of hiring a graphic artist.
19. Kellie said the following at 8:08 AM on Jul 16:
Having your reception at your church social hall (or another church if yours is too small...that's what we did) cuts down on reception costs. And enlisting friends or family members to cook the food.
20. Sandrine said the following at 8:52 AM on Jul 16:
Here is what we did (we got married last May):
- no wedding cake;
- no bridesmaids/bridegrooms;
- a friend made my dress, so it ended up costing the price of the material (it is REALLY difficult to find a modest one in the store anyway);
- we kept the guests list to 55 total for the sit-down dinner; in the afternoon we had a buffet reception for all the others we could not invite in the evening, but it did cost us next to nothing as most of the church ladies did bake and cook for this...
- a friend volunteered to do all the table centerpieces, etc. - we paid for materials only;
- we used my parents' car to go from one location to the other;
- we did not go for an expensive honeymoon.
I realize that not all of this is applicable to everyone, and it definitely helped that we got married in my home country (Switzerland), where the expectations are not quite the same as in North America (we live in Canada). For example, the briedesmaid thing is not common there. Also, we were really blessed by the fact that a lot of friends/family volunteered to do things for us, like the decors, taking care of the reception, having oversea visitors staying at their place, etc. We probably managed to do it all for about a third of the price you mention, travel and honeymoon included, and we paid cash for all of it.
21. Jaime said the following at 9:07 AM on Jul 16:
We were fortunate enough to have some talented friends who DJ'd and took photographs for us free of charge. We also hit the bridal shop's 1/2 off summer sale. And, rather than buying bridesmaid dresses at the shop, I ordered them from a regular dress catalog. We also planned a mid-afternoon wedding with only a cake and sandwich reception. This was easier on most of our guests too, since many had traveled upwards of 6 hours just to come to the wedding. These "tweaks" saved us untold amounts of money, but still allowed us a beautiful day.
22. Courtney said the following at 9:07 AM on Jul 16:
My sister kept her entire wedding for under $1000. It was a dare from my dad...he promised us $10,000 when we get married and we could use that towards the wedding/honeymoon and keep the left over. If we go over on the wedding then it comes out of our own pocket. But, my dad dared my sister to keep the wedding under $1000 and if she did he would pay for the wedding and still give her the $10,000.
This is how she did it: She wore my mother's wedding dress (and worked hard to get down to that size), she had the wedding and reception at our church instead of booking some expensive place, she had a friend of the family bake the cake, she did her own invitations, and she had simple flower arrangements. These are the most costly items of most weddings and she found creative ways around it. She ended up with 300 guests and less than a $1000! Impressive!
Oh, and a cruise is a GREAT place to wear the bridesmaid dresses again. I've done it a number of times. :-)
23. Nikki Webber said the following at 9:10 AM on Jul 16:
My husband and I were just married on May 10th, so I can definitley relate to this post! We had a beautiful and intimate wedding for roughly $5000, which is still a little bit pricey, but we found some great ways to keep our cost down:
-I purchased my brand-new wedding gown on ebay for $200. I was lucky that my dress fit quite well, so you might not want to consider this option. A good way to go (if you can't try the dress on first but you are certain of the style) is to buy it two sizes too big... the dresses usually fit small anyway, and have it altered. Although it sounds like I got my dress for super-cheap, there were a lot of costs that I didn't consider, like the cost of shipping my dress, customs duties (I'm in Canada), and alterations. The dress probably cost around $350, but it was still a wonderful deal, and everyone commented on how lovely it was!
We found a florist for a good price by looking away from the high-end, downtown places. We actually found the perfect florist setting up shop in the industrial park of our city! The flowers were lovely and fit in perfectly with our price range. My fiance and I hand-made all our own favours, and put in chocolate we had frozen from a sale right after Valentine's day. Our rehearsal dinner was at my wonderful mother-in-law's home, and we had family friends performing our music, mc'ing the reception, and our pastor friend performing the ceremony. I hand-made all the invitations for the wedding, which was a lot of work, but they looked great! We had communinion at our wedding too, which was a great touch, because we really wanted to show the Lord at the center of our marriage.
All in all, there are some great ways to save money at your wedding and still enjoy the day you've been waiting for since pretty much forever! Best of luck!
24. violette wambua said the following at 9:18 AM on Jul 16:
i am not married, but i am highly considering the 'hand me down' tradition. using my aunt's or lady friend's wedding dress on the big day. there! saved so much time and MONEY! as for food, enlist the help of friends(if the number is modest)who are experts instead of hiring a caterer who will be expensive. and if i can bake the cake myself, the better.
as for venue, keep the transport cost low by going to my local church and having the reception at my parents home. it cant get cheaper! huh!
25. Jennifer said the following at 9:29 AM on Jul 16:
I'm not married but I've been in enough weddings to know.
First thing is to set a budget and stick to it. The other good piece of advice that a lot of my brides received was to pick one or two things to spend the bulk of your money on. If photography is your thing, spend well on that. If it's the food, then budget the majority of your funds towards that. A lot of brides choose the dress as their one big-ticket item. It's whatever you want, but just remember to spend moderately in all the other areas. It all comes back to the budget.
26. Carrie (the original) said the following at 9:31 AM on Jul 16:
I have already figured that I'll spend $5,000 max. on my wedding.
Now, I just need to save the $5,000. I'm very thankful that there are no prospects on the horizon for that reason. :)
27. Jessena said the following at 9:35 AM on Jul 16:
Our wedding had about 250 people invited and my husband and I spent only about $4000 on our wedding and it was awesome. What we did was find out who in our family and friends did what "wedding type things" professionally. And do somethings yourself with the help of friends. And somethings, while pretty, ARE NOT that serious to pay an arm and leg for. (like chair covers...smile!) LASTLY AND MOST IMPORTANT......BORROW WHAT YOU CAN!!! No one will know but you :-)
These things cut down on cost, for example.
What I borrowed:
Veil, dress, arch, columns, reception decorations (mirrors, vases, etc), flower girl basket, ringbearer pillow
Family professionals:
1. Grooms father, pastor
2. Uncle, prof photographer
3. Friend, prof videographer
We found out that some friends of the fam were
1. wedding coordinators
2. Cake decorators
3. Pastor of churches
4. Caterers
5. And the list goes on...
We made the programs and favors ourselves and friends helped us put them together.
Things you have to purchase get early! Like get shoes on sale. My wedding shoes were $9.99 and the flower girls dress was $20.00.
Also, think about having a barbeque or something more simple for your rehearsal dinner. There are so many ways to save. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
28. Karen said the following at 9:36 AM on Jul 16:
Ooh, fun! I just got married for around $3000, and it was a beautiful wedding. (And we got it together in less than 3 months, too.) The key is, DON'T fall for everything those goofy bridal magazines say you have to have. You seriously do not need to have separate slipcovers for every chair at the reception! Yes, this is an important day in your life, but at the end of the day you won't remember all the doo-dads that went into it, you'll remember the important things like--gasp--getting married to the man you adore with all your loved ones around. Some practical tips:
Shop around for a wedding dress--don't buy the first $800 dress you see! There are many, many bargains around. (Also, it's generally cheaper to get your own seamstress to make alterations than using a bridal store seamstress.) Along those lines, bridesmaid dresses can be fairly cheaply made by a good seamstress, which ensures that you get exactly the style and color you want. I found that modest bridesmaid dresses are few and far between, so if this is a concern for you, this is a good option. (funnily enough, there are some great Mormon websites that have beautiful, modest wedding and bridesmaid dresses for fairly reasonable prices; just google modest wedding dresses and you'll find them.)
Get other people involved--don't try to plan everything yourself. My parents, who live in Australia, were able to be around for my whole engagement time and my mum was a huge help in planning things...I gave her her head on the reception (she did consult me :^)) and it was a huge load off my shoulders to know that would be taken care of. People are often delighted to help brides with this kind of thing. Delegate away!
Get a budget and stick to it. If your parents are paying for it, don't make them mortgage their house. If you're paying for it, be smart--marriage itself actually costs quite a bit, so don't throw away money on frivolous that you'll wish you'd held onto later. (Why not start saving now, if you haven't already?)
Look online and shop around for bargains.
Consider what time of day you want the wedding...remember, if you get married around lunch or dinner, it's kind of expected that you'll feed guests a meal. However, if you get married in the morning or afternoon, you can get away with serving snacks, which will massively save you money.
Scout for local talent for music, etc. Ask around at your church; you'd be surprised. Fortunately my church pianist is absolutely awesome; she not only helped me with the music selection, she also adapted the songs I wanted to fit the ceremony perfectly, including transposing them, rewriting them out, and organizing the practices. Thanks Mrs. Loggans!
Hehe, well, obviously this post doesn't go that far; my point is you CAN have a really nice wedding for a small amount. I honestly don't know what these $20K weddings SPEND all that money on!
Have fun!
29. Karen said the following at 9:38 AM on Jul 16:
Oh yes, this is a great book to check out: Bridal Bargains, 8th Edition: Secrets to throwing a fantastic wedding on a realistic budget
30. Elisabeth said the following at 9:43 AM on Jul 16:
Well...I went shopping for my wedding dress at Goodwill (after praying for the right dress of course!) I found something absolutely perfect for $100.00! Of course cleaning cost another $100, but still that is much cheaper then most dresses.
For my cake we went to Sam's. We got a traditional looking wedding cake with no decorations (I wanted to use real flowers) and a whole sheet cake and a half sheet cake for around $100.00. Because we both worked at a church and attended another church we were expecting a lot of people so that's why so much cake! Everyone said it was really good cake too...I didn't get to have any besides the piece my hubby fed me because no one packed any up for us. They were able to use the leftovers for a birthday party they had at the church we worked at later that same week.
Someone gave us our reception, someone else did my flowers for me (I chose silk so that I could keep them and because of cost), someone altered my dress for me, the church voted to not charge us for using the sanctuary and fellowship hall because we worked there, someone offered to do our pictures for us.
I was very blessed with how genereous everyone was. The only thing I would probably have done differently looking back would have been the photos...the photographer had an obnoxious mouth and at one of my requests lost his temper and left the rehearsal before it got going. Looking back maybe hiring a photographer might have been a good idea or working harder at finding some friends who were attending to take some additional pictures might have been a good idea.
31. Kate said the following at 9:59 AM on Jul 16:
Here are a few rambling ideas:
Don't buy all of your accessories in bridal shops!!! This one-stop shopping might seem a lot more convenient, but all of those accessories add up and can cost hundreds of dollars more.
For example the best deals I got include: I bought my veil online for <$20 including shipping, compared to >$100 in a bridal shop. Likewise, I was able to find a underskirt puffy thing at a thrift store for just $5, vs. >$50 to purchase new at a store, or >$25 and a lot of hassle & gas money to rent one. My grandma sewed my ring bearer's pillow herself out of leftover scraps from when she made my aunt's wedding dress years ago. Not only was this free, but also kind of neat and meaningful. Of course, free or borrowed is always best.
Don't make the men rent tuxes. Instead, have them wear their own suits. If someone doesn't own a suit, he can get a decent one for about the same price or less as a tux rental, and then he can keep it for other occasions.
Planning my upcoming wedding in my rural hometown has been so much less expensive in general than it is for friends who are planning weddings in urban areas. Plus, we get to work with local, small businesses which is also fun!
In general, it helps to save money by not being fancy and having the "fairy tale" elaborate extravaganza that the media teaches us we are supposed to want. I think it also reduces the dramatic catastrophes and stress associated with weddings that are too much of a production and too expensive. We aren't doing much in the way of decorations since we figure that's not what we or most people will want to remember about the day. We want it to be more about honoring our union before God and the fun celebration and fellowship afterwards.
I am really looking forward to the more casual fun atmosphere of a bbq in a park that we have planned for our reception. This costs so much less than a fancy catered meal in a hall, yet it's good food that people like to eat. We're going to eat well and celebrate!
It's so funny when I describe the way we've planned things because they are surprised that I'm so casual about it, with an attitude like "well, if this will work, it's good enough." So far I have been satisfied with all of the vendors we've worked with and the decisions we've made. People seems surprised that I don't feel like I'm selling myself short. They seem to find it surprising and nice that I'm not stressed, but they don't usually make the translation that this could be the way it could be for anyone with a more simple approach (or I guess anyone with more of a focus on preparing for the marriage instead of the wedding celebration).
There's my long rambling contribution!
32. DannieA said the following at 10:20 AM on Jul 16:
Heather,
I think it depends on what is important to you. If you are just doing a wedding to impress then yes really sit down and re-evaluate....but if some things were just important and other aspects not so much then balance it out.
For example if I ever am lucky enough to get married....my primary resources will go to:
1. Dress
2. Cake
3. Photography
other than that, the other stuff can be looked at with an open mind.
33. Rachel said the following at 10:23 AM on Jul 16:
Try eBay for the dresses, or hit up the post-prom sales at the mall. Payless for the shoes. Head to the local beauty school for manicures, pedicures, and facials the day before (my local Empire Beauty school charges only 3$ for a manicure!). Serve store brand soda/drinks in nice glasses and pitchers (no one will taste the difference). DON'T mention the word WEDDING when ordering flowers, cake, inquiring about a banquet hall, etc.
And always keep in mind that while planning the wedding can seem like a big deal, it is one day compared to the marriage that is meant to last a lifetime.
34. Rachel said the following at 10:24 AM on Jul 16:
It's so sad that weddings have turned into this huge expensive frenzie.
My own wedding cost us approximately $2000, including the dresses and tuxs. We inlisted a lot of help.
For food we assigned certain women from church to bring salads and had the wedding after lunch, but before dinner.
I asked my old pastors wife to make table centerpices, which were beautiful and inexpensive.
We had the wedding and reception at the same place... the yard of a wonderful Godly couple who blessed us so much by hosting our wedding!
I wasn't picky with mine or my bridesmaids dresses and we shopped for deals.
The pictures were done by friends... one friend used to be a photographer, the rest just took tons of pictures for us.
We loved our wedding, but really, its been the three years after the wedding that we cherish the most, and we're so glad we didn't go into debt over the first day of our lifelong marriage.
35. Mike Thiebaud said the following at 10:34 AM on Jul 16:
August 2nd of this year marks 5 years for us. Our wedding cost about $7k including a 7-day trip to Hawaii. 300+ guests because it was at our church and it was an open invite to the congregation.
My mother-in-law made all the dresses. My wife made the accessories for the dresses. The guys wore matching Hawaiian shirts and khaki pants. All guys and girls went shoeless. My mom was in charge of all the flowers which she purchased at a farmer's market. (flowers need to be sought out ahead of time and the order needs to be made in advance. duh.) A family friend (professional cake decorator)made the cake(s). Three sheet cakes of different sizes and flavors, decorated eloquently. We opted for a catered salad bar and it worked very well. Best salad bar I've ever seen. Wish I would've been able to get seconds, but I was too busy shaking hands and hugging teary-eyed well-wishers. We had a family friend do all the photography and she made albums for us and our folks as a wedding gift.
Quick tips:
-Use the resources from your church. Think of the connections you have. Now think of those connections multiplied by how many people are in your church. Advertise for help. You'd be surprised at the donations.
-Be different. Cookie-cutter weddings are so...well, cookie-cutter. Make the flowers out of construction paper or duct tape. Use butcher paper for the table coverings and provide markers for guests to write an encouraging message. Get creative!
-eBay and craigslist. Find disposable cameras, wedding-party gifts, decorations, etc. for a better price.
-START EARLY. Last-minute decisions can require premium prices. Ordering/making things early can significantly drop prices, not to mention help give you peace of mind that things aren't done just in the nick of time. Stress-free/-reduced wedding make for a more pleasant honeymoon.
-See the big picture. A wedding is ONE day. Your marriage is for life. Don't sacrifice your relationship for petty things. If/when things don't go your way at the wedding, sluff it off. It's not worth holding a grudge.
-Premarital counseling. This is probably the biggest money-saver and/or investment. Engaged couples are blind to conflict. Premarital counseling is designed to be a real-world punch in the face. It wakes up the lovebirds from their sickeningly sweet "She/He can do no wrong!"s and forces them to talk about expectations. What better way to save the money of a wedding than to make it not happen? I know, I know. But you'd better be sure he/she is the one you want to SPEND YOUR WHOLE LIFE WITH before you spend all that money on a wedding only to have one of you not show up to it.
Bah. I'm long-winded. Bye.
36. Mrs. B said the following at 10:44 AM on Jul 16:
One thing that saved us a lot of money was having our wedding in the middle of the day - that way, at the reception, we just served hors d'oeuvres rather than a full meal, cutting down food costs tremendously! But the food was still great and it didn't seem like we were being cheap.
Another thing we did was transfer some ceremony decorations to the reception. My bridesmaids' bouquets were placed in vases on some of the tables (the other's had candles and rose petals), and the flowers clipped to pews were clipped to gift tables. We also had a lot more candles than flowers - way cheaper, and very elegant.
We did splurge on my dress and the photography, but everything else we tried to save on. We had enough leftover money that we bought our bridesmaids' dresses and rented groomsmen's tuxes instead of making them pay for them.
I've been to much fancier weddings than mine, but I absolutely loved my wedding and thought it was very elegant without being over-the-top expensive.
37. Dana said the following at 11:04 AM on Jul 16:
I recently wed in May and we were fortunate to have some talented friends offer their services as gifts to us and charged us for supplies. Not everyone has that option, but if you do, take it! We also had to have an open invitation for our church since we are highly active members. Because of that we had no real way of knowing how many guests would show. We estimated about 200 and I think we had somewhere between 250-300. A woman from our church did the catering and we held our wedding in the afternoon so we only served h'ors d'ouvres. The sound guy at our church provided the music at the reception and we were able to use the sound equipment from our church. I was able to get our reception site half off because it hadn't been booked for our date and they were willing to negotiate. Also, I bought decorations in bulk. We made the church decorations ourselves, which saved money. We did splurge on cake since the food would be light. We did go slightly over our $5,000 budget, but we got a LOT for our money.
38. Bonnie said the following at 11:15 AM on Jul 16:
I've been writing a series of articles for a wedding planning magazine over the last week. I talked to a woman who bakes cakes who actually says to have a relatively small wedding cake made if you're looking to save money, and just serve regular sheet cake for the guests the wedding cake won't feed. She said, "It all tastes the same when it's cut up!" So that's one way.
Another way would be to do a destination wedding. Surprisingly they can be a lot more cost effective because, as you mentioned, the guest list is much smaller. Keep the wedding as small as possible and you'll save money.
There's bound to be someone in your family who loves to cook, so have that person design a menu with food you buy from places like Sam's Club. Not hiring a caterer will save you lots.
If you have a bartender, see if he or she will let you buy the liquor and not charge you a fee to serve it.
Get married in a park or a friend/family member's backyard, rather than a wedding venue.
Rather than hiring a band or DJ, bring your own CDs or ipod if you've booked a venue and run your own music through their sound system.
Have an early afternoon wedding and serve light snacks rather than an evening wedding, when people will be expecting a big meal at the reception.
If you go with a venue, try to pick one that has lots of natural beauty - flowers and greenery and what not - so that you can cut down on your florist bill.
There are MANY more ways to save money - you just have to get creative. And I would just add one little slightly grumpish piece of advice: as Christians we all need to think about how we are spending (and perhaps wasting) our money or our parents' money. Yes, it is your special day, but remember that it is just one day - you'd do better to have a less expensive wedding and save your money for your future expenses. If something sounds expensive to you, don't justify it by saying everybody's doing it so it's ok for you to do - God doesn't condone wasting what He gives us. That said, a nice wedding can be had for an amount that won't break the band if you're willing to get creative and sometimes compromise. Also, if you must spend more money for something and less for another - spend more for photographs and mementos, things you can keep forever, than for things like cake and linen rentals.
39. Maggie said the following at 11:21 AM on Jul 16:
I'm not married or planning a wedding (though I seem to be attending a lot of them!), but I would echo the comments of Tara (#4) about having a friend do your photography.
If you are asking a friend to do this as a favour, be very very clear about what you want. My friend S studied photography and offered to do candid shots at the wedding of a male friend of hers. Obviously there was a miscommunication, because the bride and her family expected S to do *all* of the photography and were quite pushy and demanding.
So, if you have a friend who does that kind of work as an amateur photographer, by all means ask, but make sure you are not putting them at an imposition by asking them to do a lot of work for you as a favour or for little pay!
40. Catherine Wilmot said the following at 11:57 AM on Jul 16:
Married 18 years! If I was to do it again, I'd spend the money and time on the reception....after the honeymoon! Get married in a small ceremony then flit off to your honeymoon; you'll be calmer and settled. Plan a reception a week to a month after your return. Invite family and friends, have your Pastor share a mini sermon on marriage, pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. then celebrate; dress up, light dinner, cake, etc. Too much time seems to be spent on a day that is quickly forgotten, except for the bills to follow, and the bloopers.
Lastly, take your honeymoon locally in the USA or even in your area. It's cheaper, and fun to visit on future Anniversaries. Remember, more than likely kiddo's are coming and to get away may not be easy. How fun to visit where it all began.
41. Nicole (from Boston) said the following at 11:59 AM on Jul 16:
Wow! These are all such great suggestions! Although I'm not married [and no prospects in the near future as far as I can tell :)], I've been planning my budget wedding since I was about 6. I've been to and in so many weddings that were held in our church while the reception was in the church basement. Our old church actually had an entire ministry dedicated to serving people on their wedding day and had a roomful of wedding accessories (candlesticks, tablecloths, etc). Budget weddings can be done and honestly I look forward to the challenge someday. Loved Courtney's (#22) story about her dad's dare to her sister. Good incentive. :)
42. Tom Neven said the following at 12:02 PM on Jul 16:
I've seen a lot of great comments about drawing upon the talents of friends, but I want to offer a word of caution when it comes to photography.
Yes, there are a lot of good digital cameras out there with all sorts of automatic controls, but that does not eliminate the need for photographic knowledge to get good photos that you can cherish for a lifetime.
Weddings offer many tricky lighting situations: outdoor weddings with dappled light and shadow or flat light from an overcast sky. Indoor weddings with diffuse light sources, from candles to stained-glass windows to backlighting to flourescent lights. All these require deep knowledge of photography in order to compensate.
How many people have been disappointed in amateur photos of, say, a vacation where people are just silhouettes against a brightly lit background? Or everything had a greenish tint because of the flourescent lights? You definitely don't want that for your wedding.
If your friend is a professional photographer, good. But even professionals who don't normally shoot weddings might not be fully prepared.
I remember a friend's wedding several years ago where the professional wedding photographer was so good at his craft that he even had extra candles in his bag of tricks in case some candles wouldn't light or were crooked -- precisely the situation that arose at this wedding.
Something to think about.
43. farmer Tom said the following at 12:09 PM on Jul 16:
A young man from our church got married last year after 3 years of college life. (my pastor's son). Since he nor his parents had a great deal of money to spend, they did all kinds of things to save money.
Since the grooms parents usually pay for the rehearsal supper, my lovely bride and I offered to cater the rehearsal supper.
We served Certified Angus Beef Ribeyes, garlic bread, several of the church ladies made salads, and for dessert we served fresh watermelon, and Mrs. farmer made a couple of hundred wedding bell shaped sugar cookies.
We served 40 people a meal that cost less than 7.50 a piece. Try eating that same kind of meal at a restaurant for that price. The meat alone would cost you twice that at most places. And it was basically all you can eat, since several of the guys had seconds and thirds.
Served the meal in the shelter at a local park, I've been complemented several times since on how good the meal was. Quality does not always involve paying more.
44. Laura said the following at 12:17 PM on Jul 16:
Seriously, there are some great suggestions here... and Diane (#14) but one thing I want to caution against is seeing all your friends and family as props, characters, or laborers in some ostentatious wedding that you've pictured since toddlerhood. They're your loved ones, not a slave labor pool! If you can't afford to have a lavish wedding, then have a simple one; don't press your friends into service on a day they ought to be celebrating with you just so you can have the "perfect" wedding.
A Christian wedding ceremony ought to be characterized by reverence, joy, frugality, and a focus on the Gospel. It ought never to include or even hint at ostentation, individualism, pride, materialism, or selfishness.
45. tigger said the following at 12:42 PM on Jul 16:
When my mother remarried my stepfather ten years ago (this was shortly before they both became believers), they made a real commitment to have a wedding for less than $1000.00. I'm not sure how well they did, but even if they went over, I think they still made out well.
Some of my mother's ingenious ideas:
1. Used wedding dress. Had a small hole in the skirt, but she had a tailor fix it for $60.
2. Flowers were fake, bought from JoAnn's. She made the bouquets herself and got to keep them forever afterward.
3. Catering was done by a group of friends in exchange for them not having to buy presents.
4. Cake was done by a family relative who has created fancy cakes for business before.
5. Photographer was family relative, although I heard my parents afterward remark they should have hired a professional.
6. They bought loads of disposable cameras and placed a few on each table for the guests to take pictures at will. Later my parents developed them at the local grocery.
7. The wedding and reception were in the same place, their church. Although I don't know if they had to rent the hall, they decorated everything themselves, from the tablecloths to candles to streamers. Much of it was bought at JoAnn's and Hobby Lobby and the like.
8. The DJ was a teenage relative who otherwise would have been quite bored.
9. Ok. It was a very informal wedding - lots of Harleys on the guy's side, lots of Polish influence on the girl's side, all done in a country Protestant church. So the guys wore simple denim shirts and nice jeans. The groom wore a black jacket with tails, but he went to the wedding on Harley, so yes, he married in black jeans. Saved a bundle on a tux.
9. I don't remember what they did for gifts at the rehearsal dinner, but I remember my mother made those, too, from crafts at JoAnn's.
10. Of course there was no alcohol, either. Neither were there limos, as there was an organized Harley ride to the chapel. (In fact, my brother was with my soon-to-be-stepfather, and we all joke now it's was my mother's insurance that he wouldn't even think of getting cold feet!)
I haven't spoken to them about what they might have done differently, looking back now, but even if so, they are happily married now. By the way, after they became believers, they started to work with CMA, Christian Motorcyclists' Association. So guess where they went on honeymoon? Yup, Sturgis!
Hope that helps.
46. SLB said the following at 1:17 PM on Jul 16:
While it's a good way to save money, I think many brides and grooms are uncomfortable asking guests to work at the wedding unless they offer. However, my sister and I both had budget weddings 2 years ago. Her's was about $5,000 for 100 guests and mine was about $7,000 for 100 guests. Both were very traditional weddings in terms of style, but not in terms of cost. Due to time constraints, I made only centerpieces myself and bought everything else. Here's what I learned
1. Have your wedding in a small town or city. The prices are much better than in a major metropolitan area.
2. Pick a reception/ceremony cite that requires little extra decoration. If your space is unique by itself, you won't have to spend a lot of money on personalized decorations. Also, remember that the empty room you are touring prior to the wedding will be filled with people during the wedding. It won't look quite so empty then.
3. Don't forget the cost of food when picking your reception site. Picking a place that allows outside caterers can save a ton of money. We spent about $8 per person for good, wholesome food using a grocery store as a caterer.
4. Buy a cheap dress. My dress was on sale for $250. My sister's was $300. Cheap dresses can often be found in small town bridal shops that don't have the same overhead as city shops.
4. Don't have favors. The reception is your gift to the guests.
5. Don't serve alcohol. The alcohol at my wedding added an extra $1000 to the bill.
6. Use a cosmetology school to do hair/nails/makeup.
7. Forget all wedding keepsakes. Your keepsake is your husband/wife, ring and photographs.
8. Make sure your photographer will give you the copyright to your pics so you can print them yourself.
9. Use young photographers that are just getting started rather than experienced and expensive ones. You can usually find the young photographers at chain photography stores and they will often do weddings.
10. Skip the stretch limo for the entire bridal party and get a small chaffered car from the ceremony to the reception. It is the only time you will have alone with your new spouse before the wedding is over.
47. tigger said the following at 1:33 PM on Jul 16:
I also just remembered - although both of my older sisters had weddings that probably cost a bit (though not that much, they're sensible people), they both did some interesting things.
One sister, since she and her fiance were both 30 (and had been living together for a while, they're not believers), in addition to making a bridal registry, they mentioned guests could give money if they wanted. Many people have opinions on this, including Miss Manners, but the point is that while the wedding was expensive, they were able to pay for their honeymoon in cash (she was also a travel agent and got a few discounts, but still - to Hawaii from Chicago!).
The other sister had a destination wedding in, uh, the Bahamas, I think. Just them and about five family members. Although I thought it very sad our father couldn't attend (neither could I, I was in college at the time) due to his financial situation, they did have a beautiful wedding, and had a videographer who created a montage of slides and short videos for the reception which was later held in Chicago, while I think helped keep the cost and stress down.
As for me, I intend to get married barefoot on the beach at sunset, with a giant barbecue for feeding the guests, and lots of torches and candles and palm trees. Sadly, though, not tomorrow....
48. Kit said the following at 1:45 PM on Jul 16:
I'm not married yet, but many of my friends are and the biggest thing I noticed was the ones who saved money did these two things:
--made sure the dress was $600 or less. They just bought the previous model from last year. And you couldn't tell; seriously, who really knows what's 'in' for wedding dresses?
--they utilized the talents of friends and family. I know that when I do get married, I can use my friends (all music majors) for music and my family (a photographer, a seamstress, and a great cook!) for much of the ceremony for a significantly reduced price. Look around for friends of friends, too.
49. Carrie (the original) said the following at 1:48 PM on Jul 16:
Christina (in green) #9:
In response to the cost of setting up your own alter - my friend and I were at a thrift store last where we saw a pulpit on sale for $20!!
We laughed so hard. I said "Hey! I should call (our pastor) and ask him if I can buy it and put in my apartment!"
The pulpit was white . . .so it would go nicely in any wedding.
A pulplit for $20 . . . you're getting what you'd pay for it.
50. EmilyC said the following at 1:48 PM on Jul 16:
What a great post! And kind of ironic since I've recently decided on how I want my own wedding to be...now to get the groom. :-)
Wonderful suggestions from everyone. I'll have to take notes so I remember them by the time my big day arrives.
51. Sara said the following at 2:04 PM on Jul 16:
Use the 40 or 50% off coupons for craft stores (Joann's, Michael's, etc.) and buy the do it yourself invitations (one box at a time if you have to). Print them yourself or get a local printer to do it for you. Much nicer and MUCH less than the "cheap" invitations I could find online.
I also bought my dress as a last season off the rack sample. Marked way down.
It helps to remember what's important, at the end of the day, expensive or frugal, the wedding is hardly important, it's the marriage to the person you chose. Spend more time preparing for marriage than the wedding.
52. Brent said the following at 2:08 PM on Jul 16:
I got married 2 1/2 months ago. Being a history buff I have problems with what people call a "traditional" wedding. Most people are not even aware that the diamond is not the traditional wedding stone. Only been so for the last 50-75 years. My point being that my grandparents got married with a 15 minute ceremony, did not have rings, hardly any nice cloths, and for the honeymoon they took a train to a doctor because my grandfather was sick and needed specialized care (other than that they would not have gone). Speaking of a honeymoon as "time off," my grandparents are farmers and have worked harder than I know I will probably ever. They have been together for 60 years. If people would invest in a marriage instead of a wedding day I think we would be much better off and have a lower divorce rate. Before you go all out, ask yourself, "Do I need this?" "Have better Christians than I entered into a lasting marriage with out this?" Hopefully that will make it clear as to what you "need" and what you need.
Cheers!
53. mary kate said the following at 2:43 PM on Jul 16:
i skimmed so this may have been mentioned; get married on a friday night instead of a sat night. my friend who did this saved tons of money. and the out of season thing is good too. here in the midwest, you can save a lot by getting married from late january through feb (but skip valentines day of course)
54. Michele said the following at 3:17 PM on Jul 16:
We spent around $10,000 on ours. We opted to splurge on two things - the music and the catering. The first because we knew a band that we loved, and their asking price was about $3000 (we got a discount because they're friends, but it wasn't huge). The second because both of us had been roped into helping cook, serve, and clean-up at what seems like dozens of weddings, and we didn't want to ask our families and friends to do that (a lot of them came from out-of-town).
My money-saving tips? Forget the hairdresser, make-up artist, and mani/pedi. Leave your hair down and do curls (or get your sister/best friend/mom to do it), get Mary Kay samples for your make-up, and do a buff-and-clear-polish mani/pedi. Have your eyebrows sugared instead of waxed/plucked (it's about $30 cheaper in some places), or do it yourself. Buy shoes at DSW or on Amazon (or, wear Keds with sparkly laces!).
Have your rehearsal dinner at some place like the Olive Garden - or be like my mother-in-law and do Fuddruckers (it was a bit cheesy, but it worked and everyone got fed).
Buy your bridesmaids' gifts at Pier One during an after-Christmas sale.
Buffet from a catering restaurant is cheaper than a special catering service. Or, buy bulk from Sam's/CostCo and let your mom and mother-in-law help (trust me, they want to).
Your exit? Sparklers! Get them cheap right around New Year's and the Fourth of July, and they're much cheaper than specially packaged bubbles, birds, butterflies, etc. Especially good if your exit is after the sun goes down!!
55. Michele said the following at 3:21 PM on Jul 16:
Oh, also!
Buy boxed invitations at Hobby Lobby or someplace like that, and print them off at home. You can get funky fonts free online, too.
We got married right after Christmas, before the church took down the decorations. It meant we didn't spend a penny on flowers other than my bouquet (and that was fake - I asked my designer sister to help with that).
Also, at the hall where we had our reception, there was a Christmas party the day before, so I asked the owner to leave up the trees and lights. He was very gracious, and it not only saved me money, it saved us the time in decorating!
56. Tara said the following at 3:42 PM on Jul 16:
I have a couple very close friends who are amateur photographers and have done a couple of weddings so I've heard about how taxing the day is (that's why the professionals charge so much) And yes, it is VERY important to check out anyone's creditionals and/or portfolios beforehand whether professional or amateur. The wedding day is too special to risk having photos come out under-exposed or even poorly composed. The photographer is my big splurge. We went over-budget but I could not find a single decent photographer that would be able to offer the kind of service I wanted for anything less. And all of my "amateur" friends are involved with the wedding already and I wouldn't have asked them anyways because I want them to enjoy the day.
I'm actually really jealous of everyone here who was able to keep the costs and guest lists down. Whenever I tried to go budget (like no decorations) I've been vetoed by my parents. My dream wedding is something really small and really simple but it's just not in the cards. My parents are paying for the wedding and aren't informing me what they're spending so I'm afraid it's going to be closer to the "norm" than not.
57. amber said the following at 3:44 PM on Jul 16:
A few things I did to save money on my wedding:
-Got the party trays of wraps and sandwiches from Costco, asked church ladies to make salads, and did an alternative dessert to cake. (seriously, NO ONE eats it.) Several women from the church did the set up and serving of the food. Not only did it save alot of money and was way better than the bland food lots of caterers provide, it was also such a testimony to our families of how the church cares for one another.
-I ordered flowers through a florist, but arranged and made everything with my bridesmaids the day before.
-Went easy on the details. Yes, it's cute to have monogrammed napkins, matchbooks, etc. But how much does it really add to the wedding? Try to spend your money on larger things that make more of a statement and don't require tons of last minute work. (I was recently in a friend's wedding that was beautiful, but exhausting as we stayed up all night and got up early the day of to finish all those fussy little details.)
-Did a Macbook/iPod for dancing music.
-Invited everyone in the world practically to our ceremony. (It was at our church which has a large capacity.) Then we had a brief cake reception (with cheap costco sheet cakes) and then limited our reception guests to family and close friends. This worked well because we got to include everyone in some way, but saved money on feeding them all.
-Some people say to save money cut your wedding party. We both have large families and wanted to include them all and our friends. Counting us and our flowergirl and ringbearer, we had 22 people...yes, yikes! They bought/rented their clothes as their wedding gift to us. I found dresses for $85 apiece and let them wear their own accessories and shoes. We picked the cheapest tux Men's Wearhouse had. It's important to think of the expenses your wedding party has...we tried to keep it at $100 a person. It was a bit more for people who had to fly to the wedding.
Something to splurge on: Photography...seriously, cut corners on something else to get someone good. This is what captures all the work (and money) you put into the wedding. And provides many memories.
58. Victoria said the following at 3:45 PM on Jul 16:
I would like to add a different perspective on this topic: while the wedding industry is definitely out of control, and it's so sad to see couples going into debt to pay for their dream wedding, it is not fair to put additional burdens on the wedding guests. Many of our guests had to travel in order to see us get married and therefore had to incur travel expenses such as gas, airfare, hotel, etc. In addition, the gifts we were showered with were so generous that they made us feel incredibly blessed, grateful, and humble. Our families are not wealthy and chose to sacrifice to bless us with gifts and money (although we did not expect this, etc.) To that end, how could I say to them, "Here's some crackers and cheese and a cupcake, we are trying not to spend money so that we could start with more"? My husband and I were 21 when we got married, we paid for our own wedding out of our savings, it cost about $15,000, and all of our guests had a full meal of hot appetizers, filet mignon, etc. Not that this is what it's about, but the total value of the gifts and money we received far exceeded this total. Scrimp on the flowers, don't get a limo, but feed your guests at least!!!
59. NSL said the following at 4:00 PM on Jul 16:
funny thing...Tom was the first male to respond
60. Suzanne said the following at 4:19 PM on Jul 16:
I have been to several weddings this year and I have to say, the ones where I got to help out were by far my favorites.
I just attended one where nearly all the family and friends flew in for the wedding. I stayed on the floor in the bride's house along w/ family and friends. The morning of the wedding, we were making food for the reception and running around to stores for flowers to make the bouquets (florist canceled).
Yes, it was a lot of work, but it was also my way of showing the bride and groom how much I love them. I got to spend more time with my friends. And they had a beautiful wedding for less. I much preferred it to just flying in, going to the wedding, and leaving. Everyone wants time with the bride and groom; this is a good way to get it!
61. Nate said the following at 4:20 PM on Jul 16:
Go with a morning wedding and lunch reception. Lunch is a whole lot cheaper than dinner, plus you aren't exhausted from having stayed up partying till 11pm.
62. Pandagurl said the following at 4:21 PM on Jul 16:
We got married last May, and managed to spend just under $5000 Canadian.
The one thing we agreed to spend the most on was our photographer. We found someone local, and because there was a short distance between the wedding and reception venue he gave us an extra hour of time for free.
We had the ceremony in a local church (my own was too small) and the reception in my husband's church.
I found my dress online for less than $100. My Mom made the bridesmaids dresses. The guys bought matching ties.
A woman at our church catered and my husband's aunt made the cake.
Instead of a DJ, we had a square dance. Again, looking locally, our caller was $100. And a couple musically gifted friends played as their gift to us.
As has been mentioned before, buying your flowers from a greenhouse instead of a florist saves a bundle. Anyone can make a bouquet.
The most money we spent on any single item was an airline ticket for my best friend to come from the mission field to be with us on our wedding day. And that is something that I wouldn't have changed for the world :)
63. Sarah P said the following at 5:56 PM on Jul 16:
We had a gorgeous wedding for only a couple thousand.
1. We got the cheapest invitations (they were still nice!)
2. We had the sandwich shop my husband works for cater (fifty percent discount). Wasn't the traditional meal, but everyone loved it and we had leftovers for our open house the next day.
3. Had my friend take pictures (he's semi-pro so they turned out great and he just gave us a disk with the 300 plus digital photos that we could develop ourselves for a fraction of the cost)
4. Bought floral decorations from a craft store a year in advance instead of fresh flowers (off-season, so deeply discounted)
5. Rented a hall that let us bring our own refreshments and hired a friend to be the bartender
6. Had my brother-in-law "chaffeur" us in his SUV
7. Picked a color for my bridesmaids and then let them pick a dress of their choice (didn't really save me money, but saved them some!)
The day was wonderful in part because my mom and I did so much of the planning and decorating ourselves. The most important thing is to remember to focus on the marriage you are planning more than the wedding. The wedding lasts just one day and it will be special no matter how much it costs.
64. Laura said the following at 7:11 PM on Jul 16:
Two things:
Oops! Sorry Diane, I left something out of my previous post and it came across as directed at you!! Not my intent at all. I meant to say that I agreed wholeheartedly with what you said about the "wedding industry" and then move on to point out that what some other folks had said might need to be re-evaluated. Sorry!!
Second thing is this. What's the deal with this sense of obligation? Your guests are just that: guests. They don't have to be there -- if they can't afford it, they can send their regrets and wish you joy from afar, maybe borrow the video or look at pictures the next time you see them. You don't have to feed them; they knew that they were taking the travel expenses upon themselves when they RSVPed to your wedding.
And no one is obligated to give a bride and groom a gift! Think about it. If you would tsk-tsk at a child who asked for presents or money, why would you excuse it from grown adults who should know better? It's tasteless to ask for money from your friends and family, even if you're just starting out, even if you're really broke and in debt from college. Our parents and grandparents started out with nothing and would have been appalled at the thought of hitting up their families for funding.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: a wedding is the time when you make a covenant before God to be united with your spouse until death. It is NOT an opportunity to shake down all your closest friends and family members for cash and gifts.
I think Brent (#52) said it best: "Have better Christians than I entered into a lasting marriage with out this?" Good words.
65. Jen said the following at 7:17 PM on Jul 16:
* Make sure your photographer will give you the digital negatives, so that you can print your own photos / photobook album. There are huge savings to be had here.
* We had lots of people we wanted to include in the celebration, so hosted an afternoon tea after the ceremony at the church for everyone. Later we had a more intimate dinner reception for a smaller number. At afternoon tea we served the wedding cake and bubbly (lemonade served in champagne glasses, with a slice of strawberry makes a classy and cheap, non-alcaholic beverage).
* If you don't have a set idea about what your bridesmaids must wear, then let them have input (the fewer bridesmaids, the easier this will be!). Consider a co-ordinated colour scheme with different necklines/style dresses to suit different bridesmaids. If it's a dress they like and could wear again (i.e. more of a cocktail style) then they may be happy to pay for it, in full or part.
* Don't feel like you have to honeymoon in an exotic overseas destination, with an action packed itinerary. We were exhausted after the big day and all the planning, and enjoyed a magical honeymoon in a special spot closer to home.
66. LP said the following at 8:05 PM on Jul 16:
We just got married a couple months ago, so this is still fresh in my mind. We wanted something very simple, very inexpensive, and I think we did a pretty good job. A few things we did:
1. My dress was actually a bridesmaid's dress ordered in white. It cost a lot less and was a lot less ostentatious than bridal gowns.
2. We had cupcakes for our wedding cake. Sounds strange, but everyone loved them. We arranged them on tiers borrowed from a deaconess with the extras surrounding the base. It was very popular and very economical.
3. Our photographer was an amateur who was looking to get into wedding photography. He had a portfolio of other types of photos for us to see, and we took the gamble. He did an excellent job for $100 and gave us a disk with all of our wedding photos on it. In exchange, he gets use our wedding to beef up his portfolio.
4. I purchased several "seasonal bouquets" of flowers at the grocery store the day before the wedding, and my sisters put them together in bouquets, corsages, and boutonnieres.
67. Samaria said the following at 8:06 PM on Jul 16:
There is this company called Sweet Penelope that offers customized wedding stationary for very cheap. The styles are amazing (ranging the style spectrum of beautiful, modern, traditional, and casual) and you can customize the wording, colors, and font within the template. The complete package- which includes the wedding invitations, save-the-dates, RSVP, and response cards- is only $95.
The printing, however, has to be done at home. (You can find info 'bout that in the FAQ section.) The owner will send you a PDF file and you just print them out yourself.
:)
68. P&P said the following at 8:14 PM on Jul 16:
A number of people I know have gone the city hall/Las Vegas route and then had a party after the fact.
Even if you get married in a church, you can have a private ceremony with a quick lunch and then flit off to your honeymoon. Once you're back you can have a pretty nice party at a fraction of the cost of a traditional wedding.
The minute you say "wedding" to a party planner, the costs skyrocket and with good reason. Ask any catering manager or events coordinator at a hotel and they'll have a bazillion bridezilla stories. They consider the additional charges to be combat pay.
It's better to not make it a wedding reception and have a "family party" instead. It's a fast way to negotiate cheaper prices, you can avoid the cost of a dress you'll only wear once and there's far less stress on both you, your spouse and your guests.
Oh, and hire a professional photographer. It really is worth it.
69. Kellie said the following at 8:39 PM on Jul 16:
No offense to those who mentioned it, but inviting people to the wedding and not the reception is not a good idea of how to save money, it's simply tacky.
70. BDB said the following at 8:43 PM on Jul 16:
Somehow, I doubt I'll have much say.
But in the event I do:
1) I used a wedding place for my graduate school invitations since I didn't like the way the official ones listed he degree earned. Did the camera-ready artwork myself - and raised ink impresses everyone. At least one woman I graduated with used them after she saw my announcements. it was quite reasonable.
2) I hadn't thought of the square-dance caller idea. I'll have to remember that. It's a lot of fun when no one knows what they are doing.
3) I already own a tux that still fits. (We'll see if that flies...)
4) It's quite possible to plan a nice banquet for far less money than people spend on receptions. And get a prime rib carving station that everyone will remember. I know a woman who also planned a lot of banquets in college. At her wedding, I asked if she got different pricing for wedding stuff. She paused, and said, "I didn't tell them it was a wedding. I said it was a dinner. We did the decorations ourselves."
5) My church built a nice chapel for weddings, which can be had for a very reasonable price.
6) I have more than 200,000 frequent flier miles. Periodically I get a brochure from American Express about their "create your own experience" rewards option...
My cousin just got married in Wales - few friends or family attended. But in three weeks I'll fly to one of the receptions. A chance to see the family that way.
71. Tara said the following at 8:53 PM on Jul 16:
"In addition, the gifts we were showered with were so generous that they made us feel incredibly blessed, grateful, and humble. Our families are not wealthy and chose to sacrifice to bless us with gifts and money (although we did not expect this, etc.) To that end, how could I say to them, "Here's some crackers and cheese and a cupcake, we are trying not to spend money so that we could start with more"? My husband and I were 21 when we got married, we paid for our own wedding out of our savings, it cost about $15,000, and all of our guests had a full meal of hot appetizers, filet mignon, etc. Not that this is what it's about, but the total value of the gifts and money we received far exceeded this total. Scrimp on the flowers, don't get a limo, but feed your guests at least!!! " (Victoria, comment #58)
I agree about the food. Yes, it's your day but everyone else is so generous and put so much effort into making the day happen that to completely skimp out does seem quite unfair. And politics do play a HUGE role. I'd love to budget more but too many people would be hurt, insulted, etc that what I'd be saving in cash just isn't worth it.
Those who can budget are very fortunate in having a peer group/social setting where it's acceptable. I hate buying into the system but to go too much against the grain just would be taken the wrong way in my circumstances. I wish I didn't have to invite the aunt I never met or serve wine when neither my fiance or I drink but people will complain and who is going to hear about it? My parents. If I enforce a frugle wedding who is going to be accused of being cheap? My parents. And it's not fair to put them through that.
And I know my church doesn't give out free rentals or services to its members. And everyone we ask to do something (even as simple as helping set up decorations) is going to expect payment or a gift of some kind. Yet at the showers everyone is very, very generous and people walk away with every need met.
My family is saving money in more hidden ways: making our own favours, invitations and buying decoration supplies at Walmart and dollar stores. I'll do my own makeup. And we'll be driving our own vehicles. They won't be pretty so we just won't have them in any of the pictures.
72. KJ said the following at 10:16 PM on Jul 16:
I'm not married, but I take notes at every wedding I'm a part of, so I've got a pretty good idea on some things:
1) I agree with all who have said making bridesmaids pay for hideous dresses is awful. At a wedding I attended in elementary school, the bridesmaids wore regular dresses, like they would wear to church. They continued wearing them for years. That idea stuck with me, and it's a lot more affordable. I like the thought of paying for the dress/shoes/tux rental or whatever for the attendants.
2) I favor totally edible favors. I have imprinted votive candleholders from a friend's wedding two years ago...now what do I do with them? If it was candy, they'd be long since eaten.
3) Beware the big poofy princess-y wedding dress. A good friend got married last summer and didn't dare drink anything all day because she couldn't go to the bathroom without someone to help her navigate fluffy underskirt. If that's the look you really want...be prepared.
I hope to be planning a wedding of my own in the not-too-distant future, and the thing that causes me the most dread is hiring a photographer. Because of the color scheme and horrible lighting, all amateur pictures ever taken in my church (sanctuary AND hall) have been utterly hideous. I have a bad feeling the photography will cost more than the rest of the wedding - and possibly the honeymoon - combined.
73. Beatrice81 said the following at 10:32 PM on Jul 16:
It's great that there are lots of money-saving ideas here, but this approach is not for everyone. There are probably a lot of people like me for whom *time* is more valuable than money.
I'm a new attorney working 60+ hours a week at my firm. If I can bill out at $250 an hour, I'm not going to spend 10 hours producing party favors so I can save a few bucks.
Thing is, I'm not interested in cutting corners or taking the do-it-yourself route. Hiring one person to do the whole thing -- all I'd have to do is say "Fine. Good. 200 guests. Chocolate. Lillies. We done?" -- sounds like the perfect plan to me. This approach isn't for everyone, but my eyes glaze over about 10 minutes into wedding talk and I just don't have the interest or patience to deal with a gazillion mind-numbing details. And even if I was the type to obsess over the trivia, I'd most likely lose more $$ per hour with the self-service route than just paying somebody out of my billable hours salary.
So, last word: saving $10,000 might sounds like a great idea, but you better first ask yourself 'What's my time worth?' Figure out what that 'frugal idea' is really costing you in time and effort ...that bargain might be no bargain at all.
74. Leslie said the following at 10:54 PM on Jul 16:
Personally, I don't think it's right to put friends and relatives to work at a wedding. They aren't there to document your day as a photographer or feed everyone by catering or baking. As guests, they are there to celebrate and rejoice in the ceremony and your marriage, not working for you so you can save a few dollars.
I've found it best to find friends-of-friends for favors. It makes planning more enjoyable so that everyone who is supposed to be happy about your nuptials aren't stressed out leading up to the big day. (For example, we got a friend's coworker's sister-in-law to take pics of my sister's wedding, and my aunt had a friend at the florist who gave us the flowers wholesale). Plus, the one degree of separation saves hurt feelings when Uncle Bob's pictures don't come out or Grandma Betty's cake is ugly.
Calling in favors smack of the Bridezilla attitude in that they are more about the bride and groom, presents, and cutting costs rather than sharing such a special day with loved ones and letting everyone relax!
75. Sadie said the following at 11:58 PM on Jul 16:
Please be sensitive of others when asking them to help with your wedding. Some people make their living off of weddings and to ask them "as a favor" to help might put them on the spot.
76. Rebecca Matheson said the following at 1:21 AM on Jul 17:
I think people are really important, we wanted our 200 friends and family there - so we opted for doing something less traditional and had an afternoon tea out on my in-laws property. Bought marquee's off ebay (to be resold later) and did much of the catering ourselves. We save A LOT of money doing it this way and it was very happy, relaxed despite the extreme heat.
Don't make compromises for having people there, it's far nicer to have have everyone you want to celebrate your day with than having it at the ritziest place around.
Other than that:
buy your dress off the rack, make your own invitations and haha if you can, know the right people.
77. Louise said the following at 7:51 AM on Jul 17:
I agree with comment 69.
Either invite people to the entire proceedings, or simply leave them off the guest list.
78. Jenny said the following at 9:06 AM on Jul 17:
What I think is interesting is that there isn't an organization that actually polls the population in a scientific way to determine the average cost of weddings. The stats that are touted generally come from people responding to polls on websites of bridal magazines. So the "average cost" is probably only accurate of a relatively few American's. Just a little beef I have... We all end up thinking everyone else is plunking down 50 grand for a wedding, and think that is the norm...
79. Brittany said the following at 9:46 AM on Jul 17:
Wow, I completely agree with H.A.P! I just got married two months ago (today is our anniversary!) and our budget was only $2000.
Definitely, get a little help from your friends! The Lord has blessed us with friends and family who support us and most of them just want to be asked to be involved! My cake baker, photographer, musicians, coordinator, decorators, printer, and officiant were all friends who either offered their services for either FREE or a reduced price! Check with your married friends and see what things they have left over from their weddings. Anything they have might come in handy.
Consider having a Christmas wedding where the church is already decorated. That will save a lot of money on decorations.
Also, remember, this is YOUR wedding. That means that you don't have to feel tied to "what everyone expects". That means, if you can't afford to serve anything but cake at the reception, that's fine!
I know that a lot of the comments that have been made refer to not having your friends and family (otherwise, "guests") helping with the wedding. But to be honest, even though my whole wedding was done by "ametures", the wedding day was absolutely stress-free for all of us. It was what it was supposed to be -- a fun celebration of our love and commitment. Don't let anything take that away.
80. Carrie (the original) said the following at 10:21 AM on Jul 17:
Leslie #74 "I don't think it's right to put friends and relatives to work at a wedding."
What happens if they want to help? In my church, that's how they do weddings. Everyone pitches in because they want to make sure the bride and groom don't have to stress out about things. My friends would be slightly insulted if I was running around trying make sure the bouquets were perfect, my hair was in place, the invitations were in order, etc. and they weren't asked to help.
If I didn't that type of community around me (the type that wants to serve however they can), I think I'd go crazy.
81. Marci said the following at 11:14 AM on Jul 17:
Another idea is to buy all your wedding flowers wholesale at COSTCO. Much much cheaper. I told a florist I wanted to have baby's breath on the table for arrangements - thinking this would be cheaper but still pretty if properly arranged - and she quoted me a minimum of $1200! I nearly fell off the chair! But at COSTCO we could get roses for all the wedding decorations and bouquets for less than 1/4 of her quoted price. So that's what we're going with.
A word about flowers: just remember, they die at by the end of the night
82. Marci said the following at 11:17 AM on Jul 17:
Another tip: try to find a wedding dress shop that specializes in lightly used wedding dresses. That's where I got mine. My dress was never worn - the bride bought it and then decided to buy another one, so sold her first dress. The dresses are still priced lower even if they've not been worn, and the dresses that have been worn can be a real steal as well
83. Dorothy said the following at 12:07 PM on Jul 17:
You all should check out this book, Cheap ways to tie the knot for under $5,000. It's written from a Christian perspective.
84. Christina (in green) said the following at 12:41 PM on Jul 17:
Personally, I don't think it's right to put friends and relatives to work at a wedding. They aren't there to document your day as a photographer or feed everyone by catering or baking. As guests, they are there to celebrate and rejoice in the ceremony and your marriage, not working for you so you can save a few dollars
That's an interesting one.
I've been a bride's maid all of once. My sister got married and I was her maid of honor. I wasn't that emotionally invested in it, as my sister and I haven't really been that close. I love her, but we hardly know eachother.
Her wedding was easy - there weren't a lot of people she WAS close to. So utilizing connections didn't really happen.
However, I'm one of those people that knows its best to have a small wedding party, but I have SOOO many friends that I want to be a PART of that special day. 3 bride's maids, ok. I can do that. But what about the two mothers that are so close to me, both with little boys, who can be my ring bearers? What do I do about my god-daughter and my cousin, both viable for flower girls? Or what about a close family friend whose daughters love me like a big sister (who I plan on having read the psalm during my wedding responsively amongst themselves ;)
Thing is, close friends actually do enjoy helping make a special day SPECIAL for a close friend. Definitely, mothers and fathers of groom and bride have too much on their plate, but there are other people. and they are usually very happy to help :)
Just imagine, when I open up my wedding album 20 years from now and I see that wedding cake being smashed into my new husband's face (though likely it'll be going in my face in the next picture), I'm not gonna be ONLY thinking of how good that cake tasted, but of the person who blessed my day by making that cake and the friend who caught the picture at the right moment to help make a memory :)
85. Mike Thiebaud said the following at 2:53 PM on Jul 17:
NSL (59), last time I looked, I was a guy. -Mike(35), Tom(42)...but who's counting?
86. Samuel PG said the following at 3:21 PM on Jul 17:
I come from a family that could pretty much be a one-stop wedding source. My mom is a florist, decorates cakes, makes beautiful decorations, does stained glass, etc. My dad can build anything (like an arbor). My brother is a fantastic amateur photographer. My sister bakes and decorates cakes beautifully, is one of the best invitation designers/makers I have seen, and is all-around handy. I am going to be a pastor.
Aside from that humorous note, let me offer a bit of advice who has grown up in a household constantly involved in helping with weddings. If you can find a good and experienced wedding planner who does not charge exorbitant fees, they can often save you more money than you spend. A good planner who really cares about you and your finances will know all sorts of insider tips and tricks, will know what things aren't worth paying for, will be full of ideas, will have connections who can get you things at a deal. If you can't find such a wedding planner, you might want to consider hiring a family member or friend with a lot of wedding experience to fill that same role. I say hire them because they will be giving you a lot of time to do that and it is only right to compensate them for that.
87. Kelly said the following at 3:30 PM on Jul 17:
I didn't read everyone's comment, so I could be repeating others, but I just got married in April of this year. We lost our church building in Hurriance Katrina, so that right there was an issue: Where would we get married? The Lord provided a church for my husband and I that waved the whole fee of using their facility. The only cost we had to pay was to pay for the sound tech guy and the clean up crew. While that was a special situation considering that only New Orleans was affected by Katrina, it was just ONE of many examples of God's providence. I can give many practical examples of how to save money, but the number one principle to set into place when planning a wedding is TRUSTING GOD. It doesn't mean there won't be hardship in getting things together. But it does set your heart's posture to deal with anything that comes that is stressful or disappointing. So trusting is number one.
I also had LOTS of help from my church family. Seek out the talents of the people from your church family. Is anyone from your church a photographer? A florist? Skilled in decorating? Has a big house for a rehearsal dinner to be held? Good cook for rehearsal dinner food? Anyone know how to bake a wedding cake? Search around your church body and ask for help! That was my number one money saver...Asking for help! And taking help when it was offered. First from God, and then from people...And God obviously uses people.
88. Candace said the following at 3:34 PM on Jul 17:
If you buy a wedding dress, buy one w/o embellishments like sequins and lace. You, or a talented friend, can add the fancy stuff. My plain, taffeta dress was hundreds less than embellished dresses I tried on.
"Borrow" a venue. We had our reception at the home of friends who had a big yard. Twinkle lights (bought on sale after Christmas), candles, and simple flowers were the only decorations we needed.
Let your friends help: a friend catered the reception as her gift; other friends decorated the reception site and cleaned up afterwards; the the florist was a close friend of ours and my fiance traded a weekend of work at her shop for our beautiful flowers.
Go to Europe later. We honeymooned at an uncle's beach house. All we payed for was the gas to get there and our groceries we cooked in the kitchen (fun for us since we both love to cook).
89. Katie said the following at 6:45 PM on Jul 17:
I've read some concern over having a friend take the photographs means that they won't have a good day. When my best friend asked me understand she had five sisters to be her bridemaids but she still wanting me intimately involved in the wedding I became the photographer. No it wasn't a relaxing day by any means. But because I knew the bride and groom far more than a photographer they might have hired elsewhere, I was able to capture moments that I knew where more valuable in the long run. The couple and the bridal party was much more at ease. Those hours, days, years you may spend with the happy couple are valuable in getting those perfect picture moments. I still think of it as one of the best days ever spent with my best friend.
So forgo the worry that they can't relax. It's fun for everyone in the long run.
And for expenses, maybe not everyone is like me but the only cost involved was for the film (around $50).
90. Leah said the following at 8:48 PM on Jul 17:
Tara- figure out what are the big things that you might really regret cutting corners on, and decide that you're happy to spend more on those. For example, you might decide that a photographer is something worth paying more for, but you might think that a decorator is not terribly important and you could easily scrounge around for cheaper versions. Once you have your list of non-negotiables or uncompromisables, then feel free to cut down on everything else.
Re: the OP - My tips!
Keep in mind my parents helped pay, and so did his. My parents set aside a specific amount for our wedding (without telling us the amount), and whatever we didn't spend, they gave us. They spent the most; my husband and I spent the second most; his parents spent the least.
Tips:
~ Do try and get a dress on sale. I decided that for mine, I wanted a small train, so if I looked at a dress without one, I took into consideration how much it would cost to add a train on. The one I ended up getting wasn't dirt cheap, but was half the price of all the others I tried on, and already had a train.
~ Get flowers in season (as people have already suggested!)
~ In Australia (I don't know about the US), it is accepted practice for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses and shoes, seeing as they get to keep them. When I chose my bridesmaids dresses, I chose a cocktail-style dress instead of super-formal so that a) it was cheaper and b) they could wear them again.
~ Look for a reception venue that will let you bring your own drinks. We saved between $1000 and $2000 doing it that way. Many venues will demand you use their bar and purchase drinks packages which can be thousands of dollars.
~ Look also for a reception venue that will let you choose your own caterer. The venue we were seriously considering was very cheap, but their cheapest caterer charged $35 a head, and their cheapest drinks package was $10 a head for ONE HOUR of drinks. No thanks! By choosing a more expensive venue who allowed us to bring our own caterer ($30 a head) and our own drinks (only a couple of hundred $$), we saved hundreds, maybe thousands.
~ Take advantage of friends' talents or resources. We borrowed nice cars from friends and had friends drive them. My mum and mother-in-law decorated the church. My bridesmaids and I designed and made the invitations and wedding favours (little bags of chocolates). My Dad and brother-in-law took care of sound equipment (which we borrowed from our church) for the reception. The musicians at church were friends. One of my friends is amazing with hair, and did my and my 4 bridesmaids' hair. A friend of a friend did our makeup and charged a very low price.
~ Consider whether you really need live music at your reception. We just played music from a laptop hooked up to the sound system, which my brother-in-law kept an eye on during the night.
~ Consider how much decoration you really need. I was happy just to have nice tablecloths and centre-pieces, but my mother in law wanted the whole she-bang (chair covers and chair ties, a backdrop for the bridal table, etc). She was happy to pay for it, so I was happy for her to go for it. We did do as much of it ourselves as possible though- we made the centrepieces ourselves, used the same flowers that we had in the church, and my Mum made the table runners (mainly because we couldn't find any the right colour!!) We had a decorator do the rest (at my MIL's insistence).
Leslie said Personally, I don't think it's right to put friends and relatives to work at a wedding. They aren't there to document your day as a photographer or feed everyone by catering or baking. As guests, they are there to celebrate and rejoice in the ceremony and your marriage, not working for you so you can save a few dollars.
Hmmm, I don't know. I think there is some validity in having friends work- eg, bridesmaids. That is their job, to help put the wedding together. I was making my invitations, and I think it's fair enough that my bridesmaids helped. Not to mention, most people are honoured to be asked to be part of the preparation of a wedding.
Now, I wouldn't ask friends to be working on the day of the wedding, unless it's quite an easy job or something they usually do anyway. For example, the guys who drove our cars, or those who lead the praise songs (who are part of song teams at church anyway). I asked one of my uncles, who would have had his video camera there anyway, if he could video the day for us. Most of our other on-the-day jobs were done by people who, while I would call them my friends, are not close enough to warrant an actual invitation. I had a photography-student friend taking photos (as well as a professional), and he was elated to have a chance to add photos to his portfolio and to be working alongside a professional. Some of my friends' mothers and Mum's friends baked scones and pikelets for afternoon tea.
Some suggestions of where not to cut TOO many costs:
- Never go for a super-cheap photographer unless you KNOW they deliver good quality photos.
- If you're having wine, don't go for super-cheap wine, again unless you KNOW it's good. Better to have no wine than cheap and nasty wine that nobody will want to drink.
Beatrice81- well for people like yourself, who can afford such a wedding, of course it wouldn't be an issue for you. These tips are for people who can't afford to do that type of thing.
91. KJ said the following at 8:55 PM on Jul 17:
Leslie (74) said : "Calling in favors smack of the Bridezilla attitude in that they are more about the bride and groom, presents, and cutting costs rather than sharing such a special day with loved ones and letting everyone relax!"
I guess I missed the part where global relaxation was the goal of a wedding ceremony and that the couple's friends and family were entitled to do nothing...my brother's wedding was a catered, wedding-coordinated affair with professional musicians that was relaxing for the family, and it was nice not to have to go back to the church afterward to tear down decorations (as has been the case in about every other wedding I've had a part in) but I felt guilty enjoying it at the bride's family's expense.
92. Leah said the following at 9:00 PM on Jul 17:
PS- Our wedding ended up costing between 8k and 9k. This is more than I would have liked, but it was owing mainly to the fact my MIL (mother in law) wanted all the whole kit and kaboodle with the decorations (and was happy to pay for it) and the guys' suit hire was quite exy ($190 each for 5 guys), and my husband was determined to pay for it himself. Of course the food was quite a large chunk of the price too, but for 90 people it was very reasonable. We also got a professionally done wedding cake ($340) because a) we wanted a traditional wedding cake and b) we don't have many friends who are good at that type of thing. We know one lady who does decorate the cake if you bake it, but she still charges for it, and hardly cheaper than it was to get the professionally done cake!! Those were what really pumped up the price.
93. Alyss said the following at 10:21 PM on Jul 17:
Some good tips!
1) Instead of a pricey wedding dress, try looking for a bridesmaid dress in white! I just bought a gown from a designer whose wedding gowns cost anywhere from 3,000 to over 10,000.... however, I found many similiar styles under her bridesmaid gowns, which came in white--- and got it for only 200 :)
2) Don't fall into the 'paper accessories' trap. We're including our reception & ceremony info all on the same invitations. No RSVP cards (just requesting a phone response), reception cards and especially none of those odd tissue squares....this is saving us quite a bit!
3) We're not doing programs, a majority of people leave them behind/toss them anyway
4) Try doing a daytime reception instead :) We're doing an afternoon luncheon/tea with cupcakes and tarts for dessert instead of wedding cake.
Congratulations to any upcoming brides!
94. Leslie said the following at 11:26 PM on Jul 17:
Wow. I didn't expect that kind of reaction.
My point wasn't not to involve friends and family in the wedding planning. The general church congregation can be a great place to "work connections" to get better deals, and I'm all about having girls nights to make invitations or arrange flowers. But when I picture my own dream wedding, I want everyone to be relaxed, eating, drinking, dancing, and celebrating -- not running around with a camera, hauling in cakes, or keeping the green beans warm.
I suppose if they want to volunteer or make their services available for a discount, then it could be considered a gift. But personally, I wouldn't be comfortable soliciting a friend or loved one who I would already invite to also "work" my wedding. (And putting disposable cameras on the reception tables isn't what I'm talking about!) The day is about bringing together two families, not getting the best bargain, and I'd sooner make sure everyone was having a good time and just go without something.
95. Laurel said the following at 7:49 AM on Jul 18:
So I have to say I'm fairly jealous of some of the posters here who have said they've had weddings for less than $5,000. Even the ones less than $10,000! I'm getting married next month and let's just say that our final costs will be somewhere within the next 5K range above 10K. This has been a very difficult thing for me. Even though my mom and step-dad and his parents (he's an only child so they've helped a fair amount) are helping, none of the six of us (including my fiance and me) have all that much money, so it's a bit of a stretch. But we've done the best we can. We have a LOT of relatives, though (I'm talking immediate relatives, not the second cousins and such who you don't see and can get away with not inviting), so that really makes it hard - we can't exactly have low numbers.
Though I am not currently living in my home state, where I have a lot more connections (such as musically talented friends), I feel as though we've gotten pretty good deals. Our biggest expense is going to be the cost of food, but even in that case we're using a friend of my aunt, who knows a lot about catering because she used to own her own catering business. Now, though, she is a stay-at-home mom and only works catering jobs for friends and family and thus is a good deal less expensive than a licensed caterer. (By the way, Courtney - post #22 - how on earth did your sister feed 300 guests for less than $1000??? That number would be impossible to find anywhere I've looked! It was amazing for me to be able to find anything for less than $50/person for a meal and $50 is the low end...) I've seriously been astonished at the staggering prices of "throwing a nice party for your closest friends and family" even without the "Wedding" tag!
Another way we've been able to cut some hefty costs are by utilizing the great artistic talents of my best friend from college. She and her husband designed all of our paper elements (invitations, programs, place cards, etc.) which we have then printed on our own. She's also designed and helped me find cheap/wholesale prices for very nice, but reasonable and not over-the-top decorations for our reception. So, to the extent I've been able, I've tapped into the talents of family, friends, and friends of friends.
Perhaps it is just the area I live in (looking around, I've been shocked and a bit sickened to find that our wedding will cost less than a third of the average cost in our area -- that is really just way too much money to spend on one day), but I just don't know how I could have had a wedding for very much cheaper. Believe me, I have tried! I am very frugal about many things (which sometimes my fiance loves and sometimes he doesn't agree with....but he'll definitely vouch that I'm good at saving money!). However, I have definitely found planning a wedding to be a challenge in keeping costs down to a minimum. Props to those of you who have done far better than I...
96. Laurel said the following at 7:55 AM on Jul 18:
P.s. Is it just me, or does anyone else have a hard time understanding the following scenario?
You see people spending large amounts of money (like the yearly salary of an entry-level job...or more!) on a wedding to a person they've been living with for a few years! I seriously do not understand this. To me it's kind of like "well what's the big deal? You're marrying a person you've basically been acting like you're already married to......" And then there are people like my fiance and I, who have saved ourselves for each other and hold marriage with very high esteem. So making this commitment to each other is incredibly special/sacred/important to us and thus we want this big day to be as special as possible. At the same time, though, we couldn't dream of spending SOOO much money on it!
But maybe I just don't see where people in other circumstances are coming from....
97. Jo said the following at 9:08 AM on Jul 18:
As someone who's been asked to sing at a few weddings, I can say that those are the ones I look back on and smile the most, because I've been involved in making those days special. I agree that couples need to be sensitive when asking friends for favours, but the real problem is when they ask people they know but wouldn't honestly have invited to the wedding otherwise. That's using people, really. I wouldn't expect favours or discounts from a friend of a friend, or a mere acquaintance. (If they offered though, I'd be happy to accept!)
Real friends are a different matter though, and just as I love being a part of other people's weddings, I will want as many of the people I care about to be involved as possible and share in my big day. I would prefer that to receiving a lot of material gifts.
It's a different thing, but I'm in the midst of recording a CD which several friends and family have freely contributed to. It's taken a lot longer than it otherwise would have done, but as well as their help literally making it possible (since I would never have been able to afford professionals) I love the thought that the album will be partly theirs. It makes it so much more special.
98. Audrey said the following at 10:35 AM on Jul 18:
I got married almost a year ago. I think my biggest cost saver was not having food at my reception! You don't have to feed people dinner. It's not a requirement. We had a tiered cake from Wal-Mart and some sheet cakes for the guests. We also had nuts and mints and I believe some crackers or something. Since the church didn't allow dancing we set up card games and had two Nintendo Wii's in adjoining rooms for people to play. They were a real hit and kept the little kids entertained! My husband and I even took a turn "bowling" against my dad and little sister. Great pictures and great memories! We also put one time use cameras on the tables for the guests to take photos with. We definitely got some interesting pictures!
I was blessed to be able to get married in the church I grew up in so I didn't have to pay for the building. We also kept costs down on the wedding party's clothes. I found a cute black dress for all the girls at a retail store for $35 dollars each. We accentuated the dresses with ribbon around the waist in one of wedding colors from the bridal store. The girls also wore a piece of ribbon in their hair. Saved us a ton! We bought matching shirts and ties for the guys and had them supply their own dress pants and shoes.
I borrowed candle holders from my cousin's wedding a few months earlier. I had a work acquaintance take the photos. She was an amatuer but she did a pretty good job, very creative.
Our rings were also inexpensive because I pretty much hate all jewlrey, especially big diamonds. I found a unique ring at a retail store that I love!!! My husband has a simple tungsten band.
We had a lot of money saving ideas that kept our wedding to around $3,000. We paid cash or debit for everything (definitely not rich just had money saved up) and my parents helped out also paying cash or debit. So no debt incurred here! We had a 7 day honeymoon in Florida for around 1600. The most expensive part of our wedding, save the honeymoon, was my dress.
99. Audrey said the following at 10:42 AM on Jul 18:
I also just remembered that we saved a ton on invitations by making them ourselves. My mom and I spent quite a bit of time on them but they were super simple and elegant and saved us a ton of money!
100. Tom Neven said the following at 1:06 PM on Jul 18:
Speaking of having friends in the wedding party, I once attended a wedding in England, and the best man was Scottish. He came dressed in full military regalia, including kilt.
His little boy, about 4 or 5 years old, was the ring boy and was similarly attired -- much to his annoyance.
Shortly before the ceremony was to start, the boy was acting up and threatening not to participate. His father, trying to scold the boy as discreetly as possible in such circumstances, said, "Listen, I told you you would have to wear a costume!"
The boy replied, "Yeah, but I wanted to be Batman!"