Bumper Stickers
by Tom Neven on 07/30/2008 at 11:37 AM
Americans have a penchant for sticking things on our cars, from Christian fish decals to the Darwin amphibian thingie and every variation thereof.
It's a phenomenon I haven't seen too often in Europe or Africa, this desire to tell anyone and everyone who we are and what we think by putting things on our cars. Maybe it’s because we Americans are such a car-centric culture, we see our cars as an extension of ourselves. (So what is the suburban family that drives a Hummer to the supermarket saying about themselves?)
Anyway, I like looking at what people put on their cars, from the obnoxious to the indecipherable. It's the automotive variant of people-watching. Here are a few bumper stickers I've seen over the years that have stuck with me. (Bad pun not intended.)
Give War a Chance: Seen on a car with a Young Life decal on the same window. Aside from the mixed message, I wonder if this person has been in an actual war. I’m guessing not.
If We're Not Supposed to Eat Animals, Why Are They Made of Meat? Nuff said.
Fight the Dominant Paradigm! Seen in west Texas on a rattletrap pickup truck with a shotgun in the rear-window rack. I'm sure that shotgun, loaded with double-ought buckshot, would put a big ol' hole in the dominant paradigm. (In Texas the law requires that the adjective big always be followed by the intensifier ol' , e.g., "That's a big ol' dog you got there, Sheriff!" In Mississippi, on the other hand, the word is reserved for females and is to be used after the word little, e.g., "You surely don't suspect little ol' me, do you?")
I ♥ Foat Wuth: Seen on the German autobahn outside of Mannheim. A lot of Germans are probably still scratching their heads over that one.
Visualize Whirled Peas: Um, I'd rather not. But a good thumb in the eye to those naive, moony types who believe the only problem with the world is that everyone is just so darn mean to each other.
Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean Everyone's Not Out to Get You: Cue X-Files music.
Help! The Paranoids Are After Me! A variation on the theme.
My Honor Student Can Beat Up Your Honor Student: So there!
I ♠ My Dog: At least he doesn't ♣ the poor thing.
Just Think: 1/7th of Your Life Is Mondays: That explains a lot.
Finally, be careful what you put on your back bumper. Jay Leno tells the story of pulling up behind a car at a traffic light. Seeing the "Honk If You Love Jesus" bumper sticker, he gave his horn a little tap. The guy in front leaned out his window and yelled, "The light's still red, you moron!"
And for the record, my Jeep has a U.S. Marine Corps decal, a Wheaton College decal, a Columbia University decal and now, thanks to my daughter, a Biola University decal. Our family van has a Marine Corps decal and a Biola decal.
1. Carrie (the original) said the following at 12:28 PM on Jul 30
My favorite one I've seen at an on-line store: If Hilary Clinton is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.
Still makes me "LOL". :)
2. farmer Tom said the following at 12:41 PM on Jul 30
Bought a bumper sticker at a gun show. My lovely wife didn't really want me to put it on the family van. So it laid in the glove box with a the other papers for months.
One night on the way home from a church function, I got pulled over for speeding on a rural country road. My pastor is sitting behind me along with his son, and one of the other guys from the church is sitting in the passenger seat. So John the guy beside me starts digging in the glove box for the license, registration, and insurance papers. John hands me an envelope with the proper papers sticking out so I hand them to the officer. He opens up the pile of papers and on top is the bumper sticker.
I Love Cats, Taste Just Like Chicken
The officer starts laughing, takes my info back to his car, is gone for a while, then comes back laughing. He said, "you need to slow down sir". I said, "Yes sir. Do you want the bumper sticker?" He said, "No, I can't put it on my car."
True story. Ask my pastor, he had to tell it in front of the whole church the next day.
3. hannah said the following at 12:58 PM on Jul 30
Bumper Sticker on Facebook:
I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they should be.
4. Katherine said the following at 2:08 PM on Jul 30
These are hilarious. I especially like the one about meat. Hannah, I saw that joke in Reader's Digest. I think it was this month's (July's) issue. It made me laugh out loud.
5. Courtney said the following at 2:11 PM on Jul 30
I was wondering how long it would take facebook bumper stickers to be included in the discussion. I love reading bumper stickers on cars, but sometimes it gets me in trouble. I can't count the number of times I've rode someone's tail just to read the bumper sticker on the back.
6. Tigger said the following at 2:21 PM on Jul 30
I used to have a 1990 Volvo station wagon, and last year it reached 200,000 miles. My family got me a celebratory bumper sticker for that, as 200,000 miles for any car is pretty nice.
However it died shortly after that, despite being a well-made older Volvo. It was a good car. May it rest in peace. *Sniffle.*
7. Michele said the following at 2:45 PM on Jul 30
In addition to a sticker for my congressman's campaign, I have one that says "Have you hugged a Republican today?"
8. Samuel PG said the following at 2:46 PM on Jul 30
My last car had a fish and a "God is Awesome!" license plate frame I was given, besides a firefighter's union sticker (for my dad) a Coast Guard sticker (for my brother) and an Azusa Pacific sticker (for myself). My new car currently has nothing, although I think I will replace all of the stickers except for the blatantly Christian ones. I used to think those stickers were me "living out loud" and being bold for Jesus, but I have done some rethinking. I am generally a pretty good driver (although everyone thinks they are), but I do make mistakes. Every good thing I do while driving is seen only by those who end up in front of me. If I wait to let someone pull out, if I let a car merge on the freeway, or if I stop to let a pedestrian cross, it is always someone in front of me that is happy with my driving. In those same situations, it is the person behind me who ends up frustrated with my delay. Besides that, if I accidentally cut someone off, if I have to brake suddenly, if I am going slower than they like, if I pass them and they think I am a crazy driver, or if I make a turn that slows them down, they see my rear-end. The end result is that only the frustrated people know I am a Christian, and I don't like that. Any thoughts to the contrary?
9. brx said the following at 2:56 PM on Jul 30
Tom,
- not sure where in Africa you went, but during my trip in Kenya and Uganda, I was surprised and impressed by the boldness of the many vehicles I saw with large, full-width window decals and bumper stickers proclaiming their owner's faith in God and Jesus. And, these were native individual owners, not NGO aid owned vehicles.
Anybody seen the 'Coexist' stickers? They used to irk me until I saw what Bono was doing and realized people can't discuss Truth if they are all too busy beating each other up.
Two of my favorites:
"SMILE, you got born!" - with a big, yellow smiley face
"Bosco Tech" - St. Don Bosco Technical Inst.
Grace, peace & adventure!
10. BDB said the following at 2:56 PM on Jul 30
hannah (#3) wrote:
>>I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they should be.<<
That's funny...
Though, showing the perils of reading both Boundless and the Wall Street Journal at the same time, I couldn't figure out how holding Collateralized Debt Obligations was a problem for someone besides a bank...
11. Mike said the following at 2:59 PM on Jul 30
Seeing the "Honk If You Love Jesus" bumper sticker, he gave his horn a little tap. The guy in front leaned out his window and yelled, "The light's still red, you moron!"
This is an important consideration. If we're going to advertise for Christ (with one of those cute little fish decals, for example), it's pretty incumbent on us to make sure our behavior reflects Him, don't you think?
12. Amir Larijani said the following at 3:34 PM on Jul 30
Gun Owners for Ron Paul
W00t!!!!
13. Sally Jo said the following at 4:19 PM on Jul 30
"I'd Rather Be Reading Jane Austen" (purchased at one of the used bookstores in town)
14. Dale said the following at 4:26 PM on Jul 30
Does this mean we'll be seeing free Boundless stickers in the near future? (hint hint)
This one's appropriate for my vehicle:
"Don't let the car fool you. My treasure is in Heaven."
15. Elizabeth (from Canada) said the following at 5:02 PM on Jul 30
The best bumper sticker I have seen so far has been a very inconspicuous one on the back of a nice, black car (in small white letters). It went something like: "don't let this car fool you - my treasure's in heaven." Well said.
16. Hannah C. said the following at 5:19 PM on Jul 30
My boyfriend recently bought a bumper sticker which says this:
"Don't let the car fool you. My treasure is in heaven."
Considering the fact that his car is rather beat up and makes funny noises...it's very appropriate.
The best part about it is, it's a magnet bumper sticker..which means that he can put it on other cars if necessary. ;)
17. Chris said the following at 7:02 PM on Jul 30
My favorite bumper sticker:
Babylon 5: Our Last, Best Hope for Good Television
My Second Favorite:
Bush: Let's Not Elect Him Again (from the 2004 election season)
18. James said the following at 7:30 PM on Jul 30
I was driving home from church one morning and a guy pulling up on my right at a light suddenly honked at me. I turned and he smiled and gave me a grin and a thumbs up. The light turned green and I saw his bumper sticker that said, "Real men love Jesus." I realized that he'd read MY bumper sticker which said, "Know Jesus, Know Peace. No Jesus, No Peace." I smiled.
That bumper sticker is degraded and torn up (love taps from other cars in parking lots, etc., none my fault....front end wear and tear IS my fault though =p), so it got replaced with, "Fight like a real man. Get down on your knees and pray."
That's right next to my "Got Anime?" sticker. In the rear-view window is a SomaNorth (the young adult ministry at my church) website window sticker, along with an Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University Alumni window sticker.
I need to get some like the ones on my facebook :D. Too bad most of the ones I see for sale are completely lame, or are more pop-Christian than really GOOD Christian. The ones that you see mostly in Christian bookstores are for the most part lame and ditzy, IMO. I like the ones that make a bold truth claim w/o being in-your-face offensive, yet still clever at the same time, or are just amusing for amusement's sake. Something like, "Calvinism: This car chose me. Arminianism: I chose this car." (t-shirt variant exists and I own it :D), or "The Big Bang theory: God spoke and BANG! it happened."
19. Rachael said the following at 8:01 PM on Jul 30
I hope I don't have to put any honor student bumper stickers on any future car...hopefully s/he'd (if I ever have an honor student child) be content with the refrigerator or feel a sense of humility and not bother to ask for it's placement at all...maybe I'll change my mind in the future...or maybe it would require a sense of humility on my part to put that on a car...
20. khalil said the following at 8:18 PM on Jul 30
My current truck has an Apple logo (ok, I am in *that* cult) and two Lebanon flag/logo stickers. I also have an SBC euro sticker as well...SBC is for Sweet Briar College, an all girls school that I used to take Arabic and work with international students at. I think its kinda cool when people try to figure that one out.
My previous vehicle, a Jeep, had a moose crossing sticker on it...because who doesn't think moose are cool.
21. DannieA said the following at 8:52 PM on Jul 30
KO....Knockout
what can I say, it's the name of my gym and I love my gym. Kickboxing rocks! So does my personal trainer!
Hey Tom...I'm a diehard X-philer (look it up), I have that paranoid bumper sticker in my scrapbook dedicated to the X-files. yes it's true
22. jay del said the following at 9:52 PM on Jul 30
i used to have one that says:
"are you following Jesus this close?"
i miss it. it was on my old car-- except when i accidentally did stupid things on the road. . . then i just felt ashamed--that someone would be offended that a "Jesus" follower would pull out in front of them or something.
i don't put anything on my car after that.
23. Jason said the following at 10:03 PM on Jul 30
And all this time I thought it was just speed hogs who rode my bumper. It may have actually been Courtney trying to read my car!! :)
24. Don said the following at 10:28 PM on Jul 30
I personally hate bumper stickers on cars, especially political ones. I prefer to look at bumper stickers in the stores, not on cars. I don't even have a window decal for my college on my car, although I have it in my glove box.
25. Leah said the following at 11:07 PM on Jul 30
www.internetbumperstickers.com
Great for a laugh. A few thought-provoking ones too.
26. Iris said the following at 11:12 PM on Jul 30
I don't know about other European countries, but I believe here in Holland bumperstickers are illegal. You do see lots of cars with the fish sticker/decal though, mainly in the "Bible Belt" part of Holland (yes, we do have one!)
27. Jo said the following at 12:31 AM on Jul 31
Hannah - that's awesome.
I used to have a fish on my car (you do see quite a few of those over here although not that many bumper stickers in general), but then it fell off, and I decided my driving probably wasn't good enough to do Jesus justice...
28. aj said the following at 7:20 AM on Jul 31
Two favorites (on friends' cars)
I farm, you eat...
Save a cow, eat a vegetarian. (No offense to vegetarians intended. I have several friends who are, but this sticker just struck me as a funny parody on Chick-fil-A's "Save a cow, eat chicken" ad campaign.)
29. Joni said the following at 8:16 AM on Jul 31
>>I love reading bumper stickers on cars, but sometimes it gets me in trouble. I can't count the number of times I've rode someone's tail just to read the bumper sticker on the back.<<
I find when I do this, it's usually a sticker that says "If you can see this, you're too close!" Haha!
30. Maggie said the following at 9:07 AM on Jul 31
I was in Florida with my dad and brother (we're all Canadians) riding on "Alligator Alley" when I saw this terribly distasteful bumper sticker:
"Lost your cat? Try looking under my tires."
The car was pretty much a wreck and the bumper was literally hanging off of it and they weren't driving very well either! I asked my dad to get closer so that we could see the licence plate to see where on earth these people were from. It turned out they were from Quebec, Canada. My thoughts were:
1) I am so ashamed that these people are from my country!
2) How in the world did such a clunker actually make it all the way to Florida from Quebec?!
31. Matt from, DC said the following at 9:45 AM on Jul 31
A friend of mine showed me one on the internet that he's considering buying that says:
"Jesus didn't tap"
[http://www.mmawarehouse.com/Jesus-Didn-t-Tap-WaJesus-Didn-t-Tap-Get-A-Hold-Of-p/jdt-1004.htm]
I know that's a t-shirt, but they have the same thing in bumper stickers... somewhere.
32. Bethany said the following at 10:48 AM on Jul 31
I want a bumper sticker that says "Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!"
I was a passenger in a car whose driver got flipped off by someone with a Jesus fish on their car. (Way to be a witness, little Miss Speeder.)
A few years ago, we were stopped behind a terribly beaten up truck. Its bumper sticker? "God is my Co-Pilot." Can we say bad advertising?
33. Mommynator said the following at 11:57 AM on Jul 31
My son is in the armed forces, and I have several military stickers on the back - Give War A Chance is a popular sentiment amongst our family and friends.
Also, Peace Through Superior Firepower.
34. MaryD said the following at 12:25 PM on Jul 31
I've lived in West AFrica for the past 19 years, and just want to note that in several countries over here, instead of bumper stickers, we have personalized mottos and sayings painted right on the car!
"God time is best" is one of my favorites...
35. BDB said the following at 12:37 PM on Jul 31
I think that clever license plate frames are more common here. They don't damage the car.
One I saw on a Volkswagon Rabbit:
No It's Not My
Girlfriend's Car
I once worked with a guy whose wife liked poodles, and they had a big one. He liked his Harley.
So, I had a license plate frame made for his car:
Poodles Prefer
Harley Davidson
And the online company read my little note on what I was doing, and they put it on a Harley-logo license plate frame...
36. (Canadian) Andrew R. said the following at 1:03 PM on Jul 31
Nice corny Christian bumper sticker:
"In case of Rapture, this car will be unmanned."
And the (funnier) atheist response sticker:
"In case of Rapture, can I have your car?"
37. BDB said the following at 4:15 PM on Jul 31
Oh, and regarding MaryD's comment about overseas trends...
The funniest thing we saw in Cambodia were are the Lexus SUVs with a huge, five-foot-long LEXUS decal on the side...
38. Jorden said the following at 11:06 PM on Aug 2
Here's a couple I've seen...
"My high school drop-out could beat up your honor student."
and then a variation of Andrew's(36) that I like better: "In case of rapture this car will swerve as my mother-in-law takes the wheel"
I've seen many other good one's, but I can't recall them off the top of my head.
I prefer to look at them rather than sticking them on cars though.
39. Mike Theemling said the following at 9:25 AM on Aug 3
Interesting that studies have shown that regardless of the message (religious, secular, etc) those what have bumper stickers tend to be more aggressive drivers and more territorial.
One of my favorites:
"What would Scooby Do?"
40. Faith said the following at 6:31 PM on Aug 3
"Kill a baby not an animal, that's the liberal way". A bit abrasive, bit difficult to argue against that statement :-)
41. Samuel PG said the following at 1:07 AM on Aug 4
I am contemplating a more fitting Christian bumper sticker, "It's incredible that God forgives my driving."
42. Nicole said the following at 10:26 PM on Aug 5
Recently bought a car so I don't have a bumper sticker on it.
My old one had a U.S. flag (magnet actually) and a bumper sticker with the british flag and one that said "gotta run." The last two both came on the car when I bought it, never quite figured out the story but in case my old SUV wasn't conspicious enough as it was, those bumper stickers always gave me away.
I think I'm going to grab one of the "Another vote for school choice" from work next time they need me for my new car though. I work at a home schooling organization which I also graduated from. :)
I've always been slightly relunctant to put a Jesus sticker or one for my church on the car in case someone were to see me get angry at someone over not using their turn signal (my pet peeve). I don't shake my fist or do anything like that, but it may show on my face. I'm trying to get better though.
Khalil (20) -- you and my 8 yr old brother would get along well, moose are like his favorite thing. He has a moose crossing sign in his room :)