No Cell Phobia
by
Motte Brown
on Apr 1, 2008 at 4:00 PM
I forgot to bring my cell to work today. And I have to confess, I was a little uneasy about it. I felt sort of ... isolated. Weird, huh? I mean, I'm around a bunch of people, have a work phone, laptop and pocket pc. But still, it was scary for a few seconds.
Maybe I have a touch of nomophobia -- the fear of being out of mobile phone contact.
According to this article from the UK, people have become so dependent on their cells (or mobiles for all you Anglophiles), a lost signal or misplaced phone can cause stress levels comparable to going to the dentist.
Here's an excerpt:
Experts say nomophobia could affect up to 53 per cent of mobile phone users, with 48 per cent of women and 58 per cent of men questioned admitting to experiencing feelings of anxiety when they run out of battery or credit, lose their phone or have no network coverage.
For me, it's not so much about having access, but being accessible. I'm not sure what that means since I don't exhibit people pleasing tendencies. Maybe I'm insecure and find worth in the number of calls I receive. Or maybe it's the opposite; a sort of people-need-access-to-me-now mentality. Whatever it is, I think it's important to evaluate the things in our lives that have control over us in some way.
The article ends with suggestions for avoiding nomophobia such as "carry a phone charger." But I liked the final one: "liberate yourself from the shackles of your mobile by simply switching it off."
1. Christina (in green) had the following to say on Apr 1 at 4:16 PM:
I never notice when I don't have my cell phone...
Which is probly why i lost 3 of them in the span of a month...
My parents like being able to contact me and I simply hate my home phone because of the incessant calls I get (wrong phone number). I just leave that one off the hook =p
If people need to get a hold of me, then I start freaking out. It is the only line of communication I share with ANYONE I need talking to. If there's nothing pending, I simply don't care =p
2. Joy W. had the following to say on Apr 1 at 4:17 PM:
I was without my phone for over two days last fall when I forgot it in the pew at church one Sunday. I wasn't able to get it back until that Tuesday evening, and I was a wreck. I nearly cried when I drove there on Monday and they couldn't get it out of the safe for me. Then again, I had just started dating someone and didn't have any way of letting him know I didn't have my phone, so I wasn't really ignoring his texts or calls!
3. BDB had the following to say on Apr 1 at 4:44 PM:
Missing cell phone? Hah! That's nothing. What do they call it when there's a Blackberry outage?
They don't call it a crackberry for nothing!
4. SarahJane had the following to say on Apr 1 at 5:14 PM:
I think I am one of the only people I know in my age demographic without a cell phone... I fear that I would become as addicted as Motte seems to be, if I had one, so it's probably just as well. I frankly have not had the need to get a cell, so I have resisted. I like being countercultural...
5. Adam T. had the following to say on Apr 1 at 6:23 PM:
No cell phone for meeee!!!
YOU CAN'T GET HOLD OF ME ABSOLUTELY WHENEVER YOU WANT ME!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Seriously, ditch your cell phone. There is no reason you need it.
6. Louise had the following to say on Apr 1 at 7:36 PM:
I can relate to this post because I'm at the point where I don't want to go to the bathroom without my cell phone.
And I didn't even own one until 2004!
We all functioned very well without cell phones in the past, and until I was an adult most people didn't even have telephone answering machines.
They existed, but only people with an in-home business actually had one.
7. Don had the following to say on Apr 1 at 10:03 PM:
I was driving to school today and I got about 5 minutes from my apartment when I realized that I must have left my cell on the coffee table. I thought about going back to get it, but I was already running a tad bit late. I just thought to myself, "Well, I hope no one urgently needs to get a hold of me today." I got back at about 3:30 and there it was sitting on the coffee table, and no one had called or sent me a text all day. It was probably the most anxious I've been about not having my cell phone, and it wasn't even really that bad.
8. Leah had the following to say on Apr 1 at 10:38 PM:
Christina in green- I hate it when people are *only* accessible my mobile phone. Calling a landline is SO much cheaper than calling a mobile. Why don't you just get a different phone number for your landline?
In response to the OP- ugh. I hate it when they give every single little fear a "phobia" name. A phobia is not a normal freak-out. It's a major psychological issue which can put you in hospital due to hyperventilation, fainting and sometimes even cardiac arrest. You can control your fear of being without your mobile, you can calm yourself down. Phobics can't. "Feelings of anxiety" is NOT a phobia, that's being anxious, upset, even scared, perhaps even terrified if you're getting extreme. A phobia is way past that. It's usually irrational because it's not a normal fear of something, it's a psychological thing.
Anyway, that wasn't a problem with Boundless's article, it's a problem with the idiots running around giving every "new" "fear" a "phobia" name.
9. Sarah22 had the following to say on Apr 1 at 11:25 PM:
Sometimes when I think about how much money I've probably wasted on having a cell phone over the years it makes me sick. A lot of my friends get annoyed with me or either think I'm crazy because I often leave my phone buried in the bottom of my notoriously huge purses. I often forget to turn my phone off of silent after church services and thus never hear the ring, or I forget to charge it, etc. I don't use my cell much and it's not vital to my life at all. Anyway, all those reasons are why I think it's probably a waste of money but I do think it's probably a good thing to have being that I'm a single 22 year old woman. I always always tell people to call me at home if I don't answer my cell and yet they don't, they call my cell and leave a VM. Are people afraid to call home numbers these days or what is it?
One of my BIGGEST pet peeves with cell phones is that people are getting their children addicted to them from extremely young ages. Let me preface the following story by saying that I have a Blackberry which I don't really need, but I always get anxious about keeping a phone for 2 years due to the contracts and so I pressure myself into buying a nicer phone that I think will last longer.
Anyway, I had a very cute EIGHT year old boy at church the other day see me turning my phone off before church started and he said, "Oh! You have a Blackberry! That's the one I want, my Razor is so lame!" He then grabbed my phone, ran over to his Dad and showed him, saying “This is the one I want Dad!” to which his Dad said, “OK buddy, we’ll remember for your birthday”. I was embarrassed watching the whole interaction. Shouldn’t kids be asking for fishing poles, new bikes, skateboards, etc. for their birthday? Not cell phones!
Please, someone tell me. WHY WHY WHY does a eight year old need a cell phone? I never thought I'd see the day...do I sound like an old fogy yet? I just can't wrap my brain around it. It's not evil per say, but just so ridiculous. Eight year olds should never really be in the situation where they would need a phone to call an adult because they’re always with their parents, or a friend’s parents, or another adult, etc. in whatever situation they are in. Right? Am I crazy? What situation would come up regularly in an eight year old's life that would warrant paying for a cell phone for their exclusive use?
Wow..this turned into a long post...LOL...but something about this whole topic fascinates and frustrates me...
10. Rachael had the following to say on Apr 1 at 11:27 PM:
Leah,
Why would we want to have a landline and feel more obligated to answer the phone? Instead one could, you know, just leave the cell somewhere on vibrate? Do phones always have to be answered? :)
Granted, one downfall is losing it and not being able to call it to follow the vibes, but even then, if one has the internet, s/he could hop online and ask someone to call .... ah, the interconnected world that we live in...ah, the thing that we call technology...
11. Michelle (in the UK) had the following to say on Apr 2 at 12:07 AM:
I HAD to respond to this! I left my mobile at home one day and when I came back home I had 14 voicemails and 29 texts. I was OVERLOADED by the mass communication that I was then going to have to go through...I had tears.
I'm unsure what is worse-(and please, i'm neither insecure nor in need of affirmation) but when you leave your mobile for a day and you have tons of messages or when you leave it and there are none.
I find it interesting because when I moved from north america mobile/cell phones weren't very in...and in London (due to transport issues, never being home, a mobile is really necessary (seriously, i'll argue that with anyone)...I had a mobile within two days of living here)...
Needless to say 2.5 years on I just got my first blackberry and last night as I was walking home i noticed the battery holder thing (yes, very technical) was loose...I literally couldn't concentrate at the thought of not having it around for a couple days to get fixed...
(That was for free)
My question is...do you turn off your phone when you go on holiday?
12. Jaime had the following to say on Apr 2 at 5:01 AM:
I have a cell phone, but I keep it turned off. If it's on, it's because my family is traveling out of town or I'm calling someone on it. We only give the number out to close family and have stipulated that they should always call the home number first. "Staying connected" doesn't happen because you can be reached wherever and whenever. There is a great sense of peace in knowing that you can have uninterrupted time. It's good to be out of touch sometimes, as evidenced by the stress of wondering who might be trying to get ahold of you. Relax. Turn off your phone. Enjoy what's right in front of you.
13. Meredith had the following to say on Apr 2 at 7:06 AM:
Leah (#8) - I'm assuming you are not from the U.S. because here it does not cost any more to call a cell/mobile than it does to call a land line. In fact, if you choose the right plan, it's often much cheaper to switch over exclusively to cell phones. Most people of my generation don't have land lines anymore - it just doesn't make sense to pay for 2 phone services.
To all: In terms of "to cell or not to cell" I have had a cell phone since I started commuting into the city for school via public transportation. My parents figured it would be safer for me - a single woman walking alone at night - to have a cell phone with me. These days I hardly use my cell phone at all, but it is good to have it when I am taking road trips or other times when I might need to call for help in an emergency. Other than that, I like the fact that Verizon allows me to call my best friend (who lives over 5 hours away) and talk with her for FREE!
It's also much easier to coordinate group outings with cell phones. When I was in college we often had issues with setting up times to meet - then waiting around for one or two people who were unavoidable detained but couldn't reach us. My group of friends joked about getting walkie talkies, but with cell phones you don't have to worry about that kind of thing.
So there are some benefits - though I know lots of people (including 2 of my sisters) who take the whole cell phone thing to an unhealthy level.
Still, unlike a regular phone, if you don't want to be disturbed or if you just think you are getting too attached, there's a very simple solution - TURN IT OFF!
14. Ashley had the following to say on Apr 2 at 7:37 AM:
Except for my immediate family, I also am the only person I know who does not have a cell phone! (#4, #5)
I studied abroad last semester and amusedly watched my classmates adjust to four months without cellphones. It seemed we were much more "present" with each other - no interruptions from calls, no texting, etc.
I love Kara Schwab's Boundless article, "A Life Unplugged." I quite agree!
15. Michele Samuelson had the following to say on Apr 2 at 8:18 AM:
I don't feel lost without my cell phone, but I certainly won't get rid of it. One, it's far cheaper for my husband and I to simply have a family share plan from a cell provider than to use any phone network at home. Two, I originally got my cell phone because of 9/11 - the chaos of that day taught me that it's sometimes necessary to be able to find and contact some people from anywhere, and there aren't many pay phones left in the world (long personal story). Three, and this ties in with the 9/11 reason, I want to be able to reach my family if there's an emergency (car accident, bomb threat, whatever).
It's email that I often can't do without. :-/
16. Leah had the following to say on Apr 2 at 10:20 AM:
Rachael asks "Why would we want to have a landline and feel more obligated to answer the phone?"
MORE obligated?? Wouldn't you feel more obligated to answer a mobile, seeing as you would have gotten it to become MORE accessible?
Meredith- nope, I'm Australian. Over here, if you get the right plan/pre-paid plan then you can get very cheap calls from your mobile to another mobile of the same carrier. More expensive ones allow cheap calls to other mobiles on other carriers. When it comes to landline/mobile though, it's always insanely more expensive than landline/landline (unless you are on one of the rare special plans where your carrier gives you cheap calls between your landline and certain nominated mobile numbers, which, as I said, is rare- i've only seen one such arrangement). For most Australians, a 2 or 3 hour landline/landline call would cost a few dollars in off-peak time. A 2 or 3 hour landline/mobile call can easily cost $50.
(I don't really care about mobile/landline- if someone with a mobile wants to call my landline, that's their silly problem. I jsut hate them forcing me to call their mobile 100% of the time. Fortunately I just won 50 free SMSs, so I'll just text them :P).
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for having a mobile phone- although I only got mine at 18- but people being contactable *only* by mobile is what annoys me.
17. kaj had the following to say on Apr 2 at 11:14 AM:
When I moved out into my first apartment, I felt more "tied" to a landline with an answering machine than I did with a cellphone. I would have to wait until I got home (didn't own a car; I took the bus or walked everywhere) to get messages or make phone calls.
For me, a cellphone = freedom.
I got a cellphone when I moved to a rural town in the West a few years ago. I learned that I could get a cellphone for cheaper than landline. Furthermore, the cellphone plan included voicemail, 3-way calling, caller ID, and nationwide long-distance, all I would have to pay extra for a landline service.
The long-distance-included, in addition to "unlimited nights and weekends," helped keep my sanity as I could call friends and family all over the US whenever I wanted.
When the job out West ended and I moved back East near my family, all I had to do was call customer service and received a new phone number for the area code I lived in, at no extra cost.
I have needed that cellphone when I had car trouble, got lost, or was running late. As a 30-something single living on my own, my family has peace of mind that I have a way to communicate with them or others if an emergency occurs.
I did lose a cellphone once. I blocked the service (and so whoever found that phone didn't run up my bill), but I felt "naked" without that phone.
I also see my cellphone as a way to be a "good Samaritan." I always have plenty of "anytime minutes" at my disposal, and have been able to let people borrow my phone to make a quick phone call.
Once, I was traveling, and I stopped at a shopping mall to get something to eat and stretch my legs. Another mall patron, a caregiver to a "special needs" person, needed to call to have the person she looked after be picked up, and the scheduled transportation was running late. I was able to let her call on my phone. I don't think it was a mere "coincidence" that I showed up at that mall, five hours from home, at the right time to help this person.
18. BDB had the following to say on Apr 2 at 11:32 AM:
Sarah22 (#9) said:
>>ran over to his Dad and showed him, saying “This is the one I want Dad!”<<
Ha! I had something similar happen, only it was a kid at church who said his dad had a blackberry just like it. Of course, you're also likely to have a kid ask you why you're talking into your calculator.
Personally, I like the 8830 because it automatically connects to the Bluetooth earpiece - and California's law changes July 1st to require handsfree. It seems much safer to not have to fiddle with the phone while driving.
It's also the only way I can keep with those people who somehow "text" without a keyboard. I still don't understand how they are so fast.
Though in reference to Michelle Samuelson(#15), reading the WSJ articles after 9/11, I was surprised by how many people couldn't get through on a cell phone or landline, but the COULD get a message through with their blackberry. That was the first time I had ever heard of them.
For my carrier (Verizon), in theory my phone can work in 100 countries. Unfortunately, Cambodia is not one of them, so I'm fretting a little...maybe I can rent a satellite phone or something...
Leah (#16) wrote:
>>When it comes to landline/mobile though, it's always insanely more expensive than landline/landline<<
Pricing does vary in the U.S. I have unlimited calling to any U.S. number for US$15/month on my landline from the cable company. It doesn't matter if the call terminates to a land line or mobile.
Most U.S. cell phone carriers now allow free unlimited calling between mobile phones on the same carrier.
So if a guy really means it, he should switch his cell phone plan to match hers. I had one of my employees who was in a long-distance relationship within the state. He arranged his work hours to match hers, and they talked about 1.5 hours a day during their commutes to work. They're married with a kid now.
Michelle (in the UK) (#11) wrote:
>>My question is...do you turn off your phone when you go on holiday?<<
No...my sister didn't have a land line for years - not until she had a kid. So she re-trained the family to call the cell phone. I think I actually use it more when I'm visiting my family. I remember walking along the beach visiting my grandparents when my phone rang. At first I thought, "Not work on Christmas!" Then I realized it was my sister trying to schedule our next round of family-visiting.
19. Rachael had the following to say on Apr 2 at 4:11 PM:
Hi Leah,
No. Not more obligated to answer the cell. If I had a landline I'd hear the piercing ring all the time. Most of the time I'm not near my cell and it's on vibrate so I miss lots of my calls anyway. I'm more in tune w/ e-mail than with my phone, sadly.
And on another note...let me try the sandwich approach...
It's nice of you to try to stand up for Ted (in the piece on the Zimbabwean president stepping down). And perhaps if you were to look at your post your comment to Tafadzwa again and had a chance to reword you might chose to do so -- many times I've noticed stuff (lots of grammar issues) in my posts but by the time I notice it's too late to edit... :)
I'd just like to say that if something gets us all heated (negatively), we should keep in mind the point of Ted's post on the sandwich approach -- sandwiching the criticism in between positive things. I'd also like to add that I think often times criticism could be taken better (at least by people of certain personalities) if softer word choices are used.
I'm not really into calling people on things, but just remember that tone can really be misunderstood in writing. Most of us don't know each other personally, so I think it's important to remember that there are many personalities here. Kinds that get hurt easily. Kinds that hurt others easily inadvertently. People who take and give criticism in different ways.
I just know that if I were Tafadzwa and had experienced all the hard things he had and then read your comment, I'd feel as if you were being unkind and unsensitive. However, your motives may not have been that at all. You were being kind in sticking up for Ted.
I guess in short, let's just all remember (myself included) that words really are powerful and in writing can easily misrepresent our attitudes and motivations. If your feeling is soft, it might be good to try to use softer word choices.
I hesitate to write this, but for the sake of people who may be sensitive and may read your comments I just felt compelled to say something.
Probably you didn't intend to come across as harsh, so kudos for that!
Peace!
20. Leah had the following to say on Apr 2 at 8:38 PM:
Sarah22- there's a kid complaining that his RAZR is lame?? Far OUT. They are pretty darn good phones.
Rachael- actually I re-read the comments on that post just 5 minutes ago and don't have any problems with what I wrote. I didn't say anything about Tafadzwa except that he may be expecting to hear hatred directed to Mugabe, so I'm not sure how i was being insensitive towards him. 95% of my post was about Ted, not Tafadzwa. And how about, if you have a problem with something I said on another thread, we keep it on the other thread. Things get too confusing and convoluted otherwise.
21. naomi had the following to say on Apr 3 at 3:41 AM:
it aint a health debate so i wont state any stats. I need my cell phone with me most of the time (switched on, preferably). Worry i do when i misplace it and even did loose on recently. What saved me last time is a sensible tip from a too much tech savvy friend, make a copy of contacts. Now at least i am sure my phonebook is copied at zyb.com (secure :)not public) and i have acquired a sim card with 1000 space.
All said, but how can one not stop worrying.. it comes natural to some. I might be less available while on vacation yeah! otherwise no way
22. Michelle (in the uk) had the following to say on Apr 3 at 4:43 AM:
To Leah (#18) if you're reading this...have you thought about buying a skype phone? They're about £50 here in London so I'm not sure how much they are in other places...but I believe you can use them anywhere...even cambodia...
I'd have a look...You can either use them to call FROM your computer directly to another comp, to a skype phone or a landline...further, it's like NOTHING at all to "top up" I knowt that the equivalent of $20 lasts months :) just an idea...
are you moving to camdodia? are you there?
I'm going on holiday next week to Spain (25th bday!!) and my blackberry needs to be replaced. I've actually begged the guys at Orange to ensure I can still replace it after I get back-the thought of being that out of touch (I already live 5000 miles from my family) makes me a bit too worried. I do have a rule though. I will turn it off during the day and only check it once or twice each day...
23. BDB had the following to say on Apr 3 at 3:59 PM:
Michelle (in the UK) wrote:
>>are you moving to camdodia? are you there?<<
I think that's me, and I'm going for 2 weeks. There IS an Internet cafe across the street from the church we're staying at...maybe I'll make it. This is God stretching me...
24. Michelle (in the UK) had the following to say on Apr 4 at 12:20 AM:
BDB
sorry, must have gotten confused when I was flipping back and forth :)
Have a fabulous time in Cambodia...and I have faith you'll make it!!
Assuming you're going on missions *and i'm sure you know this!!) it's your time to focus completely on others and when you get there you'll be so strongly hit by the needs there that you'll forget about your cell...sending my prayers that you and your team will have a major impact that will last!
I on the other hand, will be on a beach in Spain.
!!!!
25. BDB had the following to say on Apr 5 at 12:10 AM:
Michelle (in the UK) wrote:
>>sending my prayers that you and your team will have a major impact that will last!<<
Well, yes. In general, it encourages the country nationals at the church we visit. But the Americans tend to come back permanently changed...
>>I on the other hand, will be on a beach in Spain.<<
Ah - of course. My cousin is getting married in Wales this weekend. And, apparently, my brother-in-law's phone works fine there!
Enjoy 'da beach...