Gay is OK...Except My Kid
by
Suzanne Hadley
on Apr 16, 2008 at 5:50 PM
We live in a society that is increasingly accepting of those living the gay lifestyle. Media portrays homosexuals as a vibrant part of social circles. Many young people today can claim multiple gay friends. And, in the name of tolerance, many in our society would eagerly say, "Gay is OK."
That's why it's surprising that Details magazine, a magazine for the hip, young adult male, published an article called "Would You Really Be Okay With a Gay Kid?" [warning: offensive language]
The article considers Jerry and Geoff, progressive, self-proclaimed liberal dads who interact with homosexuals on a daily basis but are squeamish about the idea of their kids being gay. Dr. Al Mohler comments:
These are men who clearly want to say that homosexuality is okay. They live and work in a social world in which that is the only politically correct position. And yet, when it comes to their own sons -- they would definitely not be okay with them being gay.
One interesting observation reported in the article has to do with a discovery made by Ritch C. Savin-Williams, the director of Cornell University's Sex & Gender Lab.
Parents who say they're open to the idea of homosexuality are often the most difficult for a child to come out to. "Perhaps they make a distinction between your kid and mine," he says. "It's nice for other people's children to be gay or to have gay friends, but one's own child is a different story. Indeed, some of the young people say religiously conservative parents respond the best, because of the value of family. But it's the progressive, holier-than-thou parents who often can't cope."
An obvious reason for that is the biblical expectation that parents love their children no matter what, but Mohler believes there is more:
I hope there is another key reason that Christian parents might respond differently. Christians believe in the transforming power of the Gospel. What strikes the world as increasingly out-of-step is the biblical belief that homosexual behavior in any form is a sin. But the idea that people can change -- or even ought to change -- is increasingly out-of-step with the cultural mood as well.
The situation detailed in Details reveals tremendous confusion on the cultural left about the question of homosexuality, not in the culture, but in the lives of their own children. Is hypocrisy revealed in this picture? Of course it is. But hypocrisy is the danger inherent in any moral position -- on both sides of the debates over homosexuality.
The men interviewed in this article also reveal the power of common grace -- a lingering shadow of moral conscience. The hesitation concerning their sons and homosexuality -- almost a panic -- is a subtle sign that they possess a moral knowledge that complicates their moral reasoning. They want to be okay with their sons and homosexuality -- they just can't.
It's commendable that a magazine like Details took on a counter-cultural topic. As Dr. Mohler says: "God sometimes has a strange way of getting our attention."
1. JB had the following to say on Apr 16 at 7:00 PM:
I think Dr. Mohler is grasping at straws. He desperately wants to make this about hypocrisy when it's clearly not. These dads aren't saying that it would be wrong for their kids to be gay, they're saying that they would prefer that their kids be straight. I think anyone with gay friends would acknowledge that it's a much harder life on average, even today. Who would want their kids to have to endure discrimination?
It's also not hypocritical for these dads to say that they're uncomfortable with nontraditional gender expression. It would be hypocritical to condemn their children for doing these things, but it is normal for us to take our own upbringing as normative and to express discomfort with any deviations from that. That doesn't betray "panic" or moral confusion as Mohler would have us believe. It's how a dad who was a football player would react to a son who joined the debate team or vice versa. It's the human condition.
2. k. had the following to say on Apr 16 at 7:07 PM:
The people interviewed in that article want their kids to be straight, primarily because being straight makes life somewhat easier. It's one less hurdle their children will face.
3. Carrie (the original) had the following to say on Apr 17 at 8:46 AM:
What I'm reading in the article seems like a lot of gender stereotyping. In my many years of child care experience, 0-5 year olds don't have the concept of gender that many 10-15 have. Yes, children need to be taught certain things. I think there is a difference though between teaching and enforcing mindless steroetypes.
There are two things that are standing out in my mind right now. Two examples of boys wanting to be boys, but taking part in girl activities.
Example #1: Dress up - When I worked in day care, a two-year-old boy was drawn towards a certain pair of shoes. These shoes were obviously (to someone above the age of 5) girl shoes, but he liked them. From working with this kid on a daily basis, I knew that he liked them simply because the colors were bright not because he wanted to be a girl. It doesn't take much to impress children (which is one of the things I like about working with them).
Example #2: One of the boys I babysit likes to play with Barbies on one condition: that's what his two older sisters are doing at the time. On his own, he wants to be tossed around and play with trucks. He is the middle child and wants to do what other people are doing. He is also 4 going on 5. If someone is reading a book, he wants to be listening. He's all boy and loves to be active. If his sisters are braiding Barbie's hair, that's what he wants to do too. If they are playing a board game, that's what he wants to do. You can never look at behavior in isolation, birth order counts too. Along with a plethora of other things.
I really cringe when I see T.V. specials about children having gender indentity crisis. It's a relatively new phenomenon and I think it can be explained simply by accepting the fact that we can't enforce gender stereotypes. We shouldn't enforce them.
There is a tension though: As Christians, we need to encourage men to be who they are created to be - godly men. As well as encourage women to be godly women.
I'm still trying to figure a lot out as far as how to do this for children, but I think it starts by not enforcing mindless stereotypes.
4. Carrie (the original) had the following to say on Apr 17 at 8:52 AM:
Oh, and one more comment about "being gay = hard life". Two syllables: puh-leaze.
I have had several gay friends. I'm not convinced my life is easier than theirs. In fact, I think their life is easier for them because they use their sexuality as a crutch and practically everyone in society enables them.
Being a "straight" evangelical, single, conservative female is no walk in the park either. In fact, I think I'm the one who is supposed to be "opressed": can't be a pastor; must raise the children; encouraged to be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen; submit to husband . . . and I don't even have a husband.
Where are my sympathy points from contemporary society? Oh, right, I'm white and straight. It's because I'm a thinking conservative that I get marginalized. Go figure.
5. Jacob M. had the following to say on Apr 17 at 9:26 AM:
This is why potentially proving that homosexuality is innate might not be as helpful to the pro-homosexuality cause as those on that side may think, nor as damaging as those of us who support traditional morality seem to think. Imagine we find the genetic determinant of sexual orientation. Much rejoicing from the cultural left about how those Bible-thumping rednecks are finally going to have to abandon our disapproval of homosexuality, right?
Now imagine a way is found to manipulate it, such that an easy, inexpensive treatment performed in utero can guarantee your baby will be straight. How many parents, even liberal ones like the ones mentioned in this article, would not opt for such a treatment? Bye-bye homosexuality.
6. Clavem Abyssi had the following to say on Apr 17 at 9:53 AM:
I would feel disappointment that my child has adopted the view that one is either a straight person or a gay person. I would hope to teach my children that homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered and gravely sinful, and that attractions and conditions that dispose one to such actions are to be fought bravely and manfully and not embraced. That being said, I also believe in free will and redemption from sin, so I would feel no contradiction between loving them and accepting their decisions, so long as I communicated the truth to them to the satisfaction of my conscience.
I'm reminded of what Queen Blanche told her son, King Louis about sin: "My son, I love you as much as a mother could love her child, but I would rather see you dead at my feet than have you commit a single mortal sin." We all ought to pray daily "Lord, let me die rather than sin against you!" It's that serious!
7. Michele Samuelson had the following to say on Apr 17 at 10:33 AM:
I don't think we can really know all the things that play into what parents want specifically for their children, but I can easily believe Dr. Mohler is on the right track.
Let's say Dad A believes homosexuality is a sin. But, he does believe in "love the sinner, hate the sin," and so is accepting of gay people in general. When it comes to his own kids, however, he wants to believe he's brought his kids up not to sin - he doesn't want a gay son or daughter any more than he wants them to become criminals or switch religions.
Dad B is not a Christian, believes homosexuality is fine, but also thinks that homosexual males are not at all masculine. He's got high standards here, and no son of his will be a "sissy."
Dad C is tolerant of gays, but has said repeatedly and emphatically that he doesn't want his own kids to be gay. Upon greater reflection, he realizes the reason is greater than not wanting his kids to be teased or have a rough time out in the world - he doesn't want them to have a rough time in front of God.
There are likely tons more of scenarios. Bottom line - morality is not flexible. There always has to be a line drawn. Parents who profess one thing for other kids and something else for their own are playing with the line of morality.
8. Eliza had the following to say on Apr 17 at 10:43 AM:
I think the same thing could be said of interracial marriage. Most people would say that had absolutely no problem with it, but would be a little more hesitant when it came to their own kid. Exactly like k. #2 says.
9. Lynne had the following to say on Apr 17 at 12:41 PM:
To Carrie (the original) #3
Thanks for pointing this out about kids. Typical child development, something we know a lot about and have years of data to support, can now be reframed under a rubric of gay/gender identity, instead of the normal development it is.
I say this because toddlers and preschoolers are all about exploring and attraction to bright things. there is nothing to worry about. Most toddler rooms have little kitchens and house "centers" set up because the children, of all genders, enjoy them. Also, kids may say "I wish I was a girl" because they saaw a girl at the store get a new toy, not because they are having gender identity issues. Preschoolers typically think correlation is causation. Sex roles don't really start coming into play in a very fixed way until around 5-7 beginning on the kid. Then they tend to be very rigid, as is expected given how concrete their thinking processes are ("girls do that").
Anyway, without a good knowledge of typical kid development, it's easy to panic (oh, no kids going to be gay) or to over-interprety (see how that boy is so bound by society's oppresive gender constructions).
Sorry, a little off topic, but one of my pet peeves.
10. Sarah had the following to say on Apr 17 at 1:44 PM:
I totally learned a lot from that article! All this time I was going around thinking that homosexuality is when a person is sexually attracted to people of the same gender. I didn't know that little children enjoying singing songs, talking about faries, or dressing up in bright clothes were actually exhibiting gay behavior. Looking back I realize that my entire pre-school class was gay! If we'd only known!
11. erich had the following to say on Apr 17 at 1:45 PM:
I agree with JB here. Being OK with something and desiring your kid to be something else are not hypocritical statements. Is it OK to work at a fertilizer plant? Sure. But I would not want my kid to do it. That's not because I think working there is a sin, or even inferior to something else. It's just that in my family we stress the value of education and knowledge, and I hope my kids do something where an education is required. This does not mean I'll love them less if they work at a fertilizer plant. It's just that I, somewhat selfishly, would prefer they follow my general path in life.
And Carrie -- your analogy is flawed. You can choose to stop being conservative, or Christian, or submissive to a husband. You cannot choose to stop being gay. And I have no idea how one uses sexual orientation is a "crutch". Would you mind expanding on that?
12. Lydia had the following to say on Apr 17 at 2:28 PM:
Carrie (post #4),
While I don't think comparing or airing our sufferings is a way to assess who has a more "difficult" life, you must agree that there are certain implications and stigmatization in society (as well as the church) towards people who have homosexual inclinations that don't exist for people who are straight.
It might be helpful to know what types of gay friends you have, whether they've been saved or not. If not, then I agree that their lives may seem easier because society is so accepting of them and they would most likely (if they are male) not be boggled with the added pressure of providing for a wife and family. If they are saved however, then it is sad that they use their homosexuality "as a crutch" that seems to prevent them from truly seeking forgiveness from God. Being in the church though, I still imagine it must be a great struggle to have thoughts that are aberrant to the majority of your fellow Christians.
If you must compare, think about your "submission to a husband" in contrast with a male Christian homosexual's call to either submit to being the head of a family with a wife, or to the single life. As a straight, young woman, I am looking forward to fulfilling that role; I understand the reservations, but ultimately I'm happy to belong to a man of God. Furthermore, I cannot imagine having a sexual preference that would render God's plan unfathomable, so I empathize greatly with those who struggle with that.
I do think that in essence, whether we are Christian or not, we may all prefer our children to be straight. It eliminates one compartment of sin that the child does not have to deal with, although it does not lessen his or her struggle in general. As Christians, we should share in one another's sufferings, whatever it may be, and pray that God can one day take it away.
13. k. had the following to say on Apr 17 at 3:59 PM:
Carrie - Yes, it IS a tremendous burden to be a white, straight, Christian woman in today's society. (Eyes rolling...)
14. Andrew R. (aka Canadian Boy) had the following to say on Apr 17 at 4:37 PM:
Carrie, lydia, et al:
I'm really confused as to why you think that homosexuality is accepted in society these days. Or why it's more difficult to be female, Christian and straight (3/3 for the majorities!) than it is to be gay.
Just as a quick reminder, gays and lesbians:
-Cannot get married to each other
-Are the punchline of every other joke and insult
-Are portrayed as weak, effiminate and excellent dressers in Hollywood
-Have extreme difficulty adopting children
So... I'd imagine that no parent would want their children to go through that. And I'm not sure how much of the above list applies to single, Christian, straight women.
15. Lauren T. had the following to say on Apr 17 at 10:47 PM:
Erich: yes, a person can choose to "not be gay".
Behavior does not define creation.
If I behave like a horse, that doesn't make me one! You can't take my behavior and use that to define who I am, because who I am is what God created me. My DNA is Human, Female. That can never be changed.
Engaging in homosexual behavior does not change what a man or woman was created to be; and they can be redeemed from the trap of homosexual behavior just as much as they can be redeemed from any other sinful behavior.
16. Carrie (the original) had the following to say on Apr 18 at 7:57 AM:
O.K, one at a time:
erich "You cannot choose to stop being gay."
This is what the whole debate boils down to. Homosexuality is a choice as much as my preference being heterosexual is a choice. In today's society, if I wanted to be a lesbian and adjust my thinking accordingly it wouldn't be hard. In fact, I came really close several times. What it comes down to is whether or not I believe what Scripture says is true. Since I believe it is true and it says explicity several times that homosexuality is not pleasing to God, then it is something I have to repent of. I'm not saying this is easy. It's downright impossible in today's "anything goes, don't judge me" society. I have a lot that would encourage me to fulfill my fantasies. However, this life is not about me. Also, "with man nothing is possible, with God all things are possible". In and of myself I can't "choose" to be straight. Not in a society that over-sexualizes women and celebrates "open mindedness" - whatever that means.
In current society, sexuality is very twisted and shaded. There is also pressure to be "open" to new adventures. What one thinks is attraction could just be a high form of esteem and respect.
Praise the Lord there is someone who is higher than man to redeem all of this mess!
Lydia - One of my gay friends is a Christian. Sadly, we lost touch for about 8 years, before he came out of the closet. I don't know all of what he went through, but I do know what he is currently sorting through. He believes with his whole heart that God made him gay. There is a lot about the Christian life he finds exhausting because he is seeing no fruit of his faith. All I can tell him is to be obedient, seek Christ, and keep praying. It really wears on him. It wears on me too because I can't give him all the blessings I have been given. I totally understand where he is coming from. If I had not gone to an out-of-state, conservative, Christian college my life would have turned out very differently. I would be where he is in all likelihood.
I have learned much. It is impossible for me to boil down 8 years of wrestling and walking with God into three or four sentences.
k. - I know you read Boundless regularly. So I pose the following: Christians give singles advice that goes against the grain of the world. The world gives singles advice that goes against the grain of what God wants. On top of that, white people are made to feel like racists if they ask for a black crayon. (I actually had a complex as a kid because I hated chocolate milk and preferred white chocolate over dark as well as vanilla ice cream over chocolate.) If some of us are priveledged enough to go to a good school, well it's simply because of our race and not because we are actually smart.
And now to being female: Since the feminist movement we must bash the male gender. We have to be better than them. If we do not partake in gender bashing and gender wars then we are offense to all things female. If we seek to compliment men and/or serve them, then we are still of the opressed sort even if we don't feel opressed.
Andrew R. - Have you not seen the tension the exists in the single, Christian, female mind? We are constantly told to "be content". As a matter of fact, when I have had talks about being single with a gay friend, he freaks out when I say that I'm willing to accept the fact that I could die a virgin. To him that's a life that is worse than death. Really, I think he is more content is his homosexuality than I am in my perpetual singleness. It is easy for him to find companionship.
Me? I have to be content to know that my closest friend is a guy that died, came back to life, and I can't see.
Oh, and I can't adopt children or marry my best (female) friend. Being a single, Christian, (straight) female makes adoption quite difficult and neither one of our pastors would consent to marrying us.
Also, there are more than a few jokes about single, Christian, females.
As far as the weak, effeminate, excellent dresser thing: I will repeat the words "single. Christian. Female." - no stereotypes there at all. None. (whatever)
This is something I could keep arguing about until the Lord comes again. Please, bring it on.
17. Rachael had the following to say on Apr 18 at 5:10 PM:
Carrie (the orginal) #16 wrote:
"It is easy for him to find companionship.
Me? I have to be content to know that my closest friend is a guy that died, came back to life, and I can't see."
Perhaps this comment was more of a 'passing sigh' on your part rather than your inner core feeling. Still, in the moments when we might 'sigh' over relationship issues, let us remember that the Spirit of Christ is in us believers!
-->Last night I was in a small group that was talking about saying no to the flesh. Someone shared about overcoming sin through remembering who we are. The Spirit lives inside us. Amazing right? That should be enough for us.
The Spirit that indwells the believer is same one who raised Christ from the dead: "And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you." (Romans 8:11)
This is the same Spirit behind the inspiration of the Bible which talks about (in Phil 4) how Paul found the secret to contentment in any and every situation -- knowing he can do all through Christ. Christ provides the strength. Not happy-happy-joy-joy yay I'm in a relationship 24-7. But we can learn that God is enough. There was a neat videoclip that contained an audioclip of John Piper in which the phrase "God is enough" totally stands out to me. That videoclip was a bit extreme, but I do want to be able to feel that "God is enough" when I find myself in the pits...
Truly, God is enough. Life is short. Those of us in the Faith will soon be home...
18. Rachael had the following to say on Apr 18 at 5:12 PM:
P.S. Here is the videoclip I mentioned in my previous comment:
http://theologica.blogspot.com/2008/03/piper-on-prosperity-gospel.html
19. Lydia had the following to say on Apr 18 at 11:01 PM:
Andrew R said, "I'm really confused as to why you think that homosexuality is accepted in society these days."
What I mean is when you look at the history of how "homosexuals" are treated, society today is the most accepting of that lifestyle and behavior. I guess coming from a liberal, metropolitan city also makes a difference. Coming out as "gay" today is much easier than it has been even a decade ago as there are many support groups, parades, and other expressions and arenas to show your "gay pride" without being discriminated against.
When I made the comment that people who identify as a homosexual and engage in that kind of lifestyle might have it "easier" in some ways, I was mostly referring to the fact that not much is expected of them in society once they are pigeon-holed as a homosexual. To further illustrate my point (and to touch upon Andrew's point of gays not being able to marry, adopt, etc), many of my gay/male/non-Christian friends have told me that they don't plan to marry or have children. And many of them have high-paying jobs, therefore with a good income that supports a single household, they are free to pursue their interests and support their lifestyle. Their society does not judge them on how they live their life, unlike what is expected of a single, Christian woman. I'm writing this not because I'm defending the idea that single, Christian women have it worse, but that I think that God and the Christian society does have great expectations for us and that this might be where Carrie (the orignal) is coming from.
That's why it's crucial that we don't compare our "suffering" and definitely not contrast our life and what God expects of us as Christians to what the world expects from its denizens, which is basically to just not harm others or interfere with their lives.
Carrie (the original),
Thanks for sharing about your friend. If he is convinced that God made him gay, then that must be something that is hard for him to come to terms with: that his Savior purposely gave him this cross to bear. I pray that he will one day see the fruits of his faith, because nothing is impossible with God.
20. Carrie (the original) had the following to say on Apr 19 at 7:42 AM:
Rachael
"Truly, God is enough. Life is short. Those of us in the Faith will soon be home..."
Too true. Too true.
I was attempting to point how abstract faith is. One of the biggest problems I have in talking about Christ is when I talk about "faith". All people I have encountered so far, when it comes to the faith debate, want a step-by-step guide to faith. They want to know how it works, why it works, and why everything isn't fantastic all the time. I can't answer these questions concretely and neither could Jesus. He gave us parables.
Sometimes I resort to statements like the one you pointed because (1) They're true and (2) It sounds ridiculous.
Thank you for your encouragement.
21. Rachael had the following to say on Apr 19 at 10:02 AM:
Carrie the original,
Isn't it interesting that Jesus spoke in parables? He didn't always give straight forward answers...
You know I think it is a comfort that life is short but I realize others don't feel that way. Recently I heard someone talk about how there was a lot she wanted to do (like in the context of not being ready for the end, like if Jesus comes or something), and then last night I commented on the brevity of life - perhaps in an inappropriate context as someone felt. But for me the brevity of life is a good thing. I might be more of a "the glass is both half empty and half full" kind-of person that recognizes suffering and understands that there is something to be said about endurance and that suffering can be used to strengthen faith. I'm just looking forward to heaven. Lots of problems in this life - not in ours alone but everywhere...
Yet, again, "God is enough", and He is in control...
22. Marie had the following to say on Apr 19 at 8:48 PM:
In response to Carrie #4 and those who disagree with her statement I offer the following:
I live in San Francisco – need I say more? Ok I will (because I am dying to), I live in a culture where being gay, bisexual is more cool, accepted, tolerated and not even questioned compared to being a single, Christian, virgin who has never made out with a guy, never been kissed, wants a “traditional” dating/courtship relationship, who speaks of things like dating with intentionality, who will not compromise on my beliefs on pre-martial sex, who will not date an unbeliever no matter how great he is or how lonely I am, who says things to her friends like “I would not want to spend a lot of alone time with a guy in my place as things could get out of hand and it is how people cross the line etc”. And at the age of 31 I have to start to admit to myself that maybe I will die this way with those beliefs. Of course if I say that out loud the reaction is such that you think I admitted to being a pedophile.
I also attend a church where there is no ministry for singles, but lots of ministry for couples, it seems as though if you can go out and find someone yourself they are willing to pre-engagement, pre-marital counsel and small group you but if you are single – good luck. I do have gay friends as well as many many gay colleagues and I can tell you that they are NOT having a hard life. In this environment they are NOT persecuted, they do not struggle to find great relationships. In fact they are all in relationships that are strong and healthy and loving and would make anyone a bit envious. I have seen single Christian women afraid to admit it in public and act as though THEY are in the CLOSET. So yes in my part of the world the gays are out of the closet and the single Christians are in.
Do you know I have people tell me that I cannot expect a guy, even a Christian guy to date for 2+ years before marriage and not want sex? How can I expect to meet someone my age or older with my beliefs who is also a virgin? (This one usually produces gasps of horror) How can I be so delusional and so unrealistic, don’t I know that those type of guys are living in their parents basement and are mentally challenged? I have been assured by more than one person, even Christians sadly that I will not meet a guy with my values, my attitudes toward sex who is attractive, smart, funny, kind and matching my education level.
Then there is the ticking biological clock (which I am assured scares men off, which puzzles me because if you are a Christian the only reason to date is to meet people so you can choose a partner to marry and have a family with). Then there is the SAHM crowd that beats you over the head, attacks you and persecutes you because you are educated, intelligent and you like your job/career. How dare you do that, you should be just there to pay the bills waiting for Mr. Right to come along and sweep you up and keep you at home barefoot and pregnant. I intend to be an equal partner in my marriage and will not allow my husband to work 80+ weeks not seeing his kids, burnt out and financially stressed just so I can stay at home.
So yes – who has the “harder” life?
23. Christina (in green) had the following to say on Apr 20 at 1:51 PM:
Lol Lynn in #9
Reading your comment, I was reminded of my pre-school days.
One of the boys in the class was in a fight with one of my girl friends and they were fighting over "who has the baby - the boy or girl". The boy was adament - he wanted to have the baby...was convinced boys had babies. So my friend calls me over (my mother was pregnant at the time and I already had a baby sister) -
"who has babies; boys or girls?"
"Girls, of course."
"BUT I WANT TO HAVE THE BABY!"
That was the most amusing day of preschool ever.
24. Amir Larijani had the following to say on Apr 20 at 6:25 PM:
Christina: If I get pregnant, we split the money. ;)
25. Amir Larijani had the following to say on Apr 20 at 6:28 PM:
JB: Mohler is confronting the parent who says, "I don't want my son to be gay, not that there's anything wrong with that."
26. Louise had the following to say on Apr 22 at 10:15 AM:
Re comment 4 and the aftermath:
The grass is always greener on the overside of the fence and everyone else always has an easier life than you do.
Re gay children, if I had children it is my belief I would have a easier time accepting a gay son than a gay daughter.
I believe this is because I am a straight woman.
But...there is help out in the world in the form of support groups to assist parents of gay children, both gay sons and gay daughters.
27. IMO had the following to say on Apr 22 at 10:31 AM:
Louise said, "But...there is help out in the world in the form of support groups to assist parents of gay children, both gay sons and gay daughters."
Yea just substitute "gay" with any other deep-rooted sin and you are good to go.
28. IMO had the following to say on Apr 28 at 8:47 AM:
I forgot to add the following to my previous comment (#27).
Is it about accepting the gay son or daughter or about accepting the sin he or she is involved in?
If there was a support group for parents, then I also hope the gay daughter/son is getting help too.
To accept the sin itself, in light of Scripture, is wrong.
29. Christina (in green) had the following to say on Apr 28 at 10:56 AM:
I think the reason is really because the parent somehow thinks he failed his child in some way.
A man wants his son to be a man. To find out that his son somehow doesn't identify himself as such in all that that entails could be perceived as a bad reflection on the father.
Somewhere in the past, did the father fail to pass on some kind of genetic trait? Did he fail to treat his son like a man? Did he fail to raise him as one?
Isn't that one of the things men have the most trouble with - failure? So, I think that a son being gay would be seen as a failure by the father... therefore an increased difficulty in accepting his own offspring's homosexuality.