eHedonism
by
Motte Brown
on Apr 17, 2008 at 3:08 PM
It's a significant split; the conservative, evangelical community nourished Warren's nascent business, and now he appears to be leaving it behind for the secular world.
That's a line from an interview with Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony, on Salon.com published almost three years ago. It's about Dr. Warren's ties with, and subsequent separation from, Focus on the Family. But it has proved prophetic in ways beyond Dr. Warren's decision to promote his services to non-Christians.
A Focus on the Family colleague sent me an article published on eHarmony's advice site titled "Navigating the One Night Stand." And it's one of the most hedonistic articles I've ever read. Here's the lead:
While most of us are looking for that special someone to spend our lives with, the single life dictates that sometimes the opportunity for companionship presents itself in the form of a one-night stand. While a one-time roll in the hay isn't exactly emotionally fulfilling, sex in any form can be relaxing, enjoyable, and fun.
That's right. Sex is as consequenceless as watching television. So go ahead and get your orgasm on with someone you've just met. But be warned, it's profitable only if you don't read too much into it. After all, it's only sex. It's not like you two have done something as intimate as *gasp* holding hands.
I'm not sure of Dr. Warren's oversight of eHarmony these days. But he is still very much a part of its brand. And it's clear from his Web site's content (and from his interviews) that he thinks it's possible to separate business interests from Christian principles. Or maybe this new direction is simply a reflection of what has always been his Christian principles.
God or mammon, Dr. Warren. God or mammon.
Oh, and we'll be discussing this in this week's Boundless Show podcast. Check back tomorrow afternoon for that.
1. Christina (in green) had the following to say on Apr 17 at 3:43 PM:
Ugh.
2. Tami had the following to say on Apr 17 at 3:51 PM:
I didn't see the article on one-night stands (thank goodness), but I have definitely noticed articles on sex in the "Singles" portion of their "Relationships" advice. It's part of what keeps me away from eHarmony.
For what it's worth, I wrote them a non-ranty email about this issue. I mean, wasn't the whole point of his creating this site to help people form better relationships, using biblical principles (even if they're not explicitly stated as such)? Given his business model, I can understand why he wouldn't include the gospel in every single article, but including an article on one-night stands (or really, any article on sex outside the marriage) is beyond the pale. If I want that [and just for the record, I don't...] I can read Cosmo.
3. Sarah22 had the following to say on Apr 17 at 4:00 PM:
Thanks for keeping it real Motte!
I'm sure many will really dislike the title of this blog but I think you nailed it on the head.
4. kaj had the following to say on Apr 17 at 4:01 PM:
For these reasons, I'm glad I haven't joined eHarmony, let alone spent money on them!
I've heard about "Equally Yoked" from a friend, and advertised on a Christian radio station. Has anyone tried it? Is it expensive? Could it be a better alternative to eHarmony?
I've read their website, but I'm curious if anyone in Boundless-land has tried Equally Yoked and knows better about the "fine print" involved.
5. Christina (in green) had the following to say on Apr 17 at 4:06 PM:
I'm not quite certain what to think.
I mean, I'm not a big eHarmony fan, simply because it doesn't seem like it really takes things into REAL consideration when giving you matches...(a secularist who doesn't care about religion being paired with guys who can't live without God???)
I wasn't as disturbed by Dr. Warren's responses (as I am not so surprised) as I was with how two-faced the reporter was.
"Uh-oh, he's gonna be outright hostile on this issue...nevermind that I'm being outright hostile on the fact that he COULD be associated with the conservative christian right..."
It bugged me.
6. Simon had the following to say on Apr 17 at 4:18 PM:
To be fair, I fail to see the "God vs Mammon" in this case. The article is free advice, not something the site sells. (Now whether it's being secretly used to draw in clients through web searches, we don't know.)
7. charlotte had the following to say on Apr 17 at 4:28 PM:
I know this isn't the point of the blog but...under the 'don't call' section of the article
>>If your twilight tryst was meant to be more, the other party will make some effort to reach you again<<
unless, of course, they've both read this
8. Tami had the following to say on Apr 17 at 4:54 PM:
From the Salon article:
"'We don't have anything that's revealing or promiscuous or tantalizing in our advertising,' said Forgatch. 'Because that stuff has nothing to do with long-lasting relationships.'"
Hmm. Somewhere along the line, they really lost their sense of mission. That's sad.
9. leona had the following to say on Apr 17 at 5:45 PM:
Yes, I saw that headline article on my email the other day. I was pretty surprised. As an eharmony participant the last few months, I have had at least one guy approach me with the question, "What is your opinion about pre-marital sex?" and when I gave him my answer as "Not until married", he closed me as a match.
10. Bill had the following to say on Apr 17 at 6:57 PM:
Will you call Dr. Warren's salvation into question, too?
A FotF colleague sent you the article -- in other words, office gossip about how Dr. Dobson's old business partner is doing these days, or perhaps is backsliding...
I don't like this blog post one bit. I think you're putting his sin out there for less than upright reasons. Christians: we shoot our wounded.
11. Adam T. had the following to say on Apr 17 at 7:25 PM:
I'm not a big eHarmony fan, simply because it doesn't seem like it really takes things into REAL consideration when giving you matches...(a secularist who doesn't care about religion being paired with guys who can't live without God???)
Completely agree, Christina. I tried eHarmony... just on a whim to see what matches it gave me... and it gave me all these girls who were NOT Christians. Like, hello? I entered that 'religion' was 'extremely important' to me!
12. Nicole had the following to say on Apr 17 at 7:31 PM:
Simon #6 - I think the God or mammon is that in order to grow his business he has allowed things like this to be perpetuated by the business.
I was curious about eharmony and recently filled out the free profile (yeah I haven't admitted this before). They send you matches then. I put that their "religion match" at the highest importance level and still get people who nowhere in their information mention their religion beyond like a box that says christian. It's something I didn't plan on actually paying for in the first place, but definitely won't be seeing the matches I get sent.
13. KJ had the following to say on Apr 17 at 8:43 PM:
Bill (#10) - I didn't feel like this blog post was "office gossip" or "shooting our wounded." Evidently Neil Clark Warren at one time had pretty public ties to FOTF, and though those ties are now severed, some people may not have heard that part (I hadn't - and since I've never visited eHarmony I didn't know it had gone in the direction that it has) and for that reason, people need to be warned against it even more than if it pertained to someone who never had ties with Evangelicalism.
14. Tami had the following to say on Apr 17 at 10:12 PM:
Weird. I just clicked on the link (expecting maybe they took the article down??) and it went to an article on *matchmakers.*
15. Rachael had the following to say on Apr 17 at 10:38 PM:
Don't do eHarmony or any equivalents, but, I'd imagine it'd be awkward if you got matched w/ people you knew but if 1-2 of the 1/2s weren't interested and if you saw them regularly :) Awkwardola.
16. Lauren T. had the following to say on Apr 17 at 11:06 PM:
Dr. Warren killed any interest I might have had in his site by his radio commercials. Yikes.
17. Jo had the following to say on Apr 18 at 1:41 AM:
Charlotte (7) - I thought that too, haha.
What upsets me is that eHarmony still advertises itself in Google searches as a place to meet Christian singles. Clearly they want it both ways.
18. Trevor D. had the following to say on Apr 18 at 4:58 AM:
Christina (in green) #1 almost perfectly expressed my feelings when I saw the email :) (except she missed the "what the heck has happened to Dr. Warren?" thought).
19. Amir Larijani had the following to say on Apr 18 at 6:11 AM:
I'd heard that Neil Clark Warren (NCW) had "expanded the horizons" to get more market share, but this is the most ridiculous thing I've read by his outfit.
They market themselves in terms of helping people land in relationships that last. Ergo, it seems that NCW would promote the types of behavior and habits that are conducive to healthy, long-term relationships. The "one-night stand", or the premise that "sex in any form can be relaxing, enjoyable, and fun" does not contribute to successful marriages.
Of course, a little fair disclosure is in order: I killed my eHarmony membership last December. Long story on that one.
Let's just say that online dating is not all it's cracked up to be.
20. Ted Slater had the following to say on Apr 18 at 8:44 AM:
The advice column has been removed by eHarmony, likely because we at Focus on the Family have drawn attention to it here and on the Family News in Focus radio program.
The column is still available via Google cache.
21. Bine had the following to say on Apr 18 at 9:26 AM:
CHOOSE YOU THIS DAY WHOM YE WILL SERVE - Joshua 24:15 - Seems clear to me Dr. Warren has made his choice.
22. Matt from DC had the following to say on Apr 18 at 9:33 AM:
Thanks for the link Ted.
"Unless invited, don’t sleep over. Snoozing together is too official, and it should be reserved for an established relationship. Gather up your belongings and make a respectful exit."
That paragraph is really funny. What do official and established mean? Is what just happened unofficial or unestablished - LOL. The icing on the cake though is the new exit protocol (taking notes): gather up your stuff and go home, hold your head up high, be proud, and walk out respectfully.
This advice reminds me of visiting my younger brother's frat house last summer. I asked one of the senior guys why they were hanging out with such ugly and filthy women (not that they were this way externally). He replied, "Because they're easy!". Oh yeah, I forgot, that's what it's all about.
Praise be to Jesus Christ for freeing us from bondage to sin and for our love of sexual immortality. There's hope for the lost though. Because they may come to share in the same hope we have.
If they have not heard then who will tell them?
23. Jeni had the following to say on Apr 18 at 10:15 AM:
#4 kaj
I haven't tried "Equally Yoked", but I've tried other online dateing sites. Though there are differences in how to search for matches or waiting for the system to match you: I think all of the profiles represent humans. The thing about humans is that they all have different ideas of what it means to be a Christian. So you get all kinds of different matches with or without Christian beliefs and lifestyles. In my expereinces with online dating you have to weed the wheat from the shaft yourself and not count on whether or not the online dating serrvice is a Christian service or not.
24. kaj had the following to say on Apr 18 at 11:05 AM:
Jeni (#23):
In the (denomination-specific) online dating sites I tried, I never relied on "matches," as they all were subjective, and have different criteria for what makes a match.
Whenever I'd be online I would read profiles for men in my age range, and then weed out the ones that I felt would not match (i.e. they listed on their profile any "deal-breakers," such as drinking alcohol).
The one thing that makes Equally Yoked look promising is that all applicants actually have to go through background checks. With most online dating sites I know, anyone with a pulse and a credit card (or just a pulse if you forego a "premium, full-access" membership) can join--both honest and dishonest people.
EY is not just online--it's supposed to be a "full serve" dating service.
Again, I've never tried EY. My one concern is because of horror stories by friends who tried other dating services who were being mismatched with dates by staff more concerned with getting a commission than helping two single people through what could be the path to a God-honoring marriage.
Maybe I'll call my local EY office, and give the rundown on my experience in a future Boundless Line post, if only to help other readers out by telling them what I went through.
25. Lucie had the following to say on Apr 18 at 12:16 PM:
I haven't used eharmony for years - I had no success with it, largely due to factors already stated on this blog - but I took a quick glance at the "One Night Stand" column and was aghast. Not just at the fact that it appeared on Dr. Warren's site, but because the advice is simply awful.
"As consenting adults, it’s absolutely fine for both of you to do what makes you happy."
There you have it! A summary of much of our society's moral outlook today.
And there was so much more...in particular, I was fascinated by the statement that you should be "comfortable with someone in the light before dancing with them in the dark," or words much to that effect. The idea was that you could not necessarily identify an axe murderer by appearance, but....! I'm reminded yet again of how "normal" an appearance and demeanor Ted Bundy presented.
Then, of course, there is the strong reminder to always use "protection." What I didn't see was any kind of warning that said protection (presumably condoms) will not necessarily prevent you from contracting herpes from your "dancing in the dark" partner before you've made your "respectful exit"; or that condoms occasionally break (as happened to a then-45-year-old friend of mine years ago, in just such a situation, leaving her fearful that she could become an unwed, middle-aged mother).
And even if you don't contract an STD, there are no condoms for the heart...
Or are there?
26. Patrick had the following to say on Apr 18 at 1:12 PM:
I'd be interested if anyone else has tried Equally Yoked, too?
27. obewan had the following to say on Apr 18 at 1:43 PM:
Sadly, online dating has become a huge money machine business and could be no longer considered a “ministry” by many so-called “Christian dating” websites. When the sites get big enough, bigger fish in the money game often swallow them up. The same thing happens in the multi-billion-dollar Christian music and book publishing industry. A large media giant just bought out Zondervan. The one that takes the cake is the bigchurch.com “Christian dating” website. The new owners are none other than Penthouse publications – yes the pornography conglomerate. http://www.bigchurchdating.info/ Sadly, some of the so-called “Christian dating” websites I have found also offer links to hook up gays, lesbians, and “swingers”.
It seems many people are only in it for the money and are more than willing to pretend to be Christians if the price is right. Until now, I had held out hope that eHarmony would remain more of a ministry than a money making enterprise.
28. Lauren had the following to say on Apr 18 at 3:08 PM:
I met my husband on e-harmony and for that reason, as well as the questionnaire and matching process, am all for the site. But it sure is sad to see that article on there! Especially if folks mistake it for Biblical advice based on the site's history. Yarg.
29. Val had the following to say on Apr 18 at 5:23 PM:
I'm disgusted by the one night stand article by eHarmony,
BUT,
I'm also disappointed by the way the Boundless contributors are responding to it. I highly doubt that the author of that article consulted Dr. Neil Clark Warren before its publication.
That site and any other dating site can be used by Christians and non-Christians alike.
I personally haven't considered eHarmony an exclusively Christian dating site, but rather, a site where there are a high percentage of Christians members.
In contrast to Lisa Anderson, I've been matched with and have dated many awesome Christian men through this site.
Thankfully, it's pretty obvious which matches are on fire for God and which aren't. The guys I have communicated with and/or dated have inspired and challenged me in my faith. It has been very encouraging to see and meet a few of the awesome Christian men out there.
I guess you could say I've had a very positive eHarmony experience. Except for having found the man of my dreams part;)
30. Sylvia had the following to say on Apr 18 at 10:11 PM:
I, too, was saddened to hear about the one night stand article by eHarmony, but I felt Motte Brown's post was somewhat arrogant and judgmental.
My daughter has used eHarmony twice over a two year period and has been matched with some wonderful Godly young men. Many were young men who are currently serving in the military. Others were teachers at Christian schools, as well as professionals in almost every field. She, too, enjoyed good conversation through emails with alot of these young men. They encouraged her in her Christian walk and in her pursuit of finding a Godly mate. She met and dated one of the young men during her first eHarmony experience and they became good friends. She is currently dating another young man she just recently met through eHarmony. He, too, is an impressive and Godly young man.
My sister-in-law's sister also met a young man through eHarmony and they married. He's a doctor and they are currently serving in the mission field.
So, even though I'm disappointed with the article, I would still highly recommend eHarmony to Christian singles who are looking for a way to
meet other Christian singles. I don't know how many of you are currently single, but it's tougher than ever to meet someone of the opposite sex who is a Christian. No site to my knowledge is as efficient at matching two people as eHarmony. If you're a fairly decent writer and answer everything on the profile honestly, it's amazing how accurately it will match you. Now that's assuming your match is writing effectively and honestly, as well. After reading a profile you have a good idea of what someone is like. And if they've lied it surfaces pretty quickly in a couple of emails.
31. Nate had the following to say on Apr 19 at 8:21 AM:
It was analytical, not judgmental. Motte's calling a spade a spade.
One of the biggest problems Western missionaries face is that Muslims equate Christianity with Western culture. My uncle was in a barber shop in northern Pakistan, and a fellow sat down next to him and asked if he'd slept with his wife before they were married. Northern Pakistan! That's about as isolated as you get, and even there they've got that notion.
Now when a businessman like Warren starts blurring the lines it's just incredibly unhelpful, and if you buy into the excuse that it was an oversight or a savvy business move to expand their market, you've missed the point. We're called to imitate Christ--with no excuses--and advice on how to navigate a one-night stand isn't imitating Christ.
Assuming the best of the man, Warren is an ambassador of Christ. So he's either been negligent or he's sold out. There's no other way to say it.
It's not right to air out a grievance publicly straightaway (cf. Mt. 18:15-17), so it makes me wonder if there are men in Warren's life holding him accountable and calling him to task over this.
32. Sylvia had the following to say on Apr 19 at 9:09 AM:
Nate (#31) said:
"It's not right to air out a grievance publicly straightaway (cf. Mt. 18:15-17), so it makes me wonder if there are men in Warren's life holding him accountable and calling him to task over this."
Nate, accountability partners are a wonderful thing and can be quite beneficial, (unless they're like Job's); but sometimes we forget that as Christians we all have the ultimate accountability partner...the Holy Spirit. God knew we needed accountability, and He very adequately provided. If Dr. Warren is going to be open to listen to anyone, I'm confident the Holy Spirit will be the most persuasive.
33. Kelly had the following to say on Apr 20 at 6:54 PM:
I ditched eHarmony several months ago when they posted an article about moving in together. It saddens me to see that the articles have only become more secular. :(
Thankfully I never paid for the site: I've heard horror stories of people attempting to cancel their membership and being charged for several months after. As for the matching process - the reason I signed up was to compare myself with my then-boyfriend. We apparently weren't compatible at all.
34. Becky had the following to say on Apr 21 at 3:31 PM:
I can't say I'm really surprised.
eHarmony has always been about the money ... this is obvious from their outrageous membership prices.
If there's money to be made in this new arena I'm sure eHarmony is all over it.
Add this to the already long list of reasons I won't ever use that service.
35. Alicia had the following to say on Apr 21 at 3:49 PM:
While I don't agree with any article or person that goes against Scripture, I DO know that eHarmony has been the starting off point to some very successful Godly relationships and Christian marriages in the lives of people that I know.
While the founder and the advice the company gives might not be totally pure, the matching itself seems to be pretty good....at least based on personal witnessing of it in the lives of family members and friends.
It's another opportunity for Christians to shine in dark places. It's like anything in the world. You take the parts that are good and Godly and leave the rest behind. It's unfortunate and sad that Neil Clark Warren turned from his original purposes. But that doesn't make the matching on eHarmony bad. The advice is bad, yes, but the matching is good.
Hope this makes sense,
Alicia :)
36. Mo had the following to say on Apr 21 at 3:54 PM:
I had no idea about this! How awful!
I tried eHarmony some time ago, only for a few months. Not enough time for anything to come of it. But I had to stop for cost reasons. I'm between jobs right now, but I received a flyer from them with some kind of special price deal. I figured I'd give it a little longer try this time, and the price was right. So I put it on the side for when I found work again.
After hearing all of this, there is no way. I cannot believe this has happened.
37. Alicia had the following to say on Apr 21 at 3:55 PM:
#11, I disagree. I've recently joined eHarmony and I've been matched up with some truly passionate, sold-out for God guys. Maybe it's what you entered as "must haves"/"can't stands" that made them send you the wrong people? Just a guess, but not really sure.
Regardless, I have been really enjoying it. It's actually restored my faith that there ARE God loving gentlemen out there, who are really and truly sold out for Jesus.
Not all of the matches have been 100% what I'm looking for spiritually, but most have been....and the ones that haven't been have at least been somewhat near the mark.
Hope this helps,
Alicia :)
38. Kit had the following to say on Apr 21 at 5:34 PM:
Agreed, Alicia. This is a bit of a ridiculous post. We are all adults here, and we don't need to heed Warren's advice on sex if we don't feel it's right. The only people I have been matched with, for the most part, have been stronger Christians and more passionate about their faith than the men I know in my own social circle. And no, I'm not 'idealizing' them. I have met at least 5 or 6 of them in person, and have had some great times! Just becuase it serves the secular world as well as our tiny Christian bubble does not mean that Christians shouldn't or don't use it. If you're not into someone, just close the match.
39. Janeile had the following to say on Apr 21 at 7:24 PM:
I think we're all forgetting one important thing - and that is the patronizing or bank-rolling of secular things. It amazes me how Christians will find some way to justify why supporting "sin" is alright. Compromise is our biggest downfall. Is it o.k. to look the other way as long as we find "the one", or we have money in our pocket, or we are entertained or whatever the excuse is? Frankly, the mere thought of my money going to support the propaganda (in advice form or whatever they want to call it) makes my spiritual toes curl. If someone found someone nice on there, that's great. But now that we know what eHarmony is all about, we will be held accountable to God for what we know and its proper stewardship.
I'm not just talking eHarmony here. If Christians would just stop compromising I wonder what kind of elected officials we'd have, or the kind of movies Hollywood would produce, or the kind of music that would go platinum?
40. Alicia had the following to say on Apr 21 at 10:29 PM:
Janeile, we are called to live in the world, but not be a part of it. Can you completely avoid every organization that supports things in the secular world? Perhaps. But are you willing to live a life that is similar to the life that the Amish live who have cut themselves off from outside life in attempts to keep themselves pure?
I don't mean to be rude and am not intending to be, but if you are really going to stick to your guns and live by what you're saying here, then you shouldn't support *any* organization that supports secular beliefs...you'd have to apply your belief to every organization, just not pick and choose. If this were true, you'd probably do little to no shopping, watch no movies (even the clean ones are supported by organizations that put out other movies that are bad) and you probably wouldn't be on the internet right now, since most internet providers allow for the passage of all kinds of material.
Just curious too and just to prove my point....you are on the internet. You had to be to post your post. This website is clean and wholesome, right? Yet....isn't it swimming in the middle of the internet that is filled with all kinds of filth?
What makes it different for you to come onto the internet as a Christian and utilize it in a pure and wholesome way when the rest of the internet supports filth....and then put down those who go onto eHarmony as Christians and utilize it in a pure an wholesome way, even though a portion of it supports filth?
I don't see the difference. Both are seeking to honor God and both are seeking to keep oneself pure. It's picking out the good and throwing away the bad in both situations.
Also, what about Christ? Let's apply what you said to Him. He paid taxes to Ceasar. Ceasar was very much a secular man. Did this mean that Christ sinned by supporting a secular government because He paid taxes to it?
My point again, in all of this, is that we are called to live in the world, but not be a part of it. Christ associated Himself with prostitutes, tax collectors and those who were notorius "sinners," yet He Himself was God. I'm not saying that this is the kind of people that are on eHarmony. Quite the opposite, I've found people that live their lives wholeheartedly for the Lord.
But what I am saying is that what is important is whether or not you're walking a Christian life and sharing His light and love, despite what circumstance you find yourself in. You cannot completely separate yourself from the world--this is not to say live in the way of the world, but you are physically in it...and we're called as Christians to shine the light of Christ in all areas.
If however, you feel a conviction about, then you probably shouldn't go on eHarmony. Some things are okay for one person, but not for another, much like the eating or not eating of meat that is mentioned in (I believe) Colossians 3.
In this case, you are abstaining from eHarmony because you feel a conviction against it and are not going on in order to honor the Lord. Yet at the same time, I, as well as several other Christians, are going on eHarmony because we too are honoring the Lord and seeking other God-fearing Christians. Both are doing or abstaining in order to honor the Lord. One shouldn't put the other one down.
When I read your post, I felt very judged by what you said about going on eHarmony. Not the I believe that it's wrong, but it just felt very judgemental in the way that you wrote it. I am seeking to honor and glorify God in my life. So are you. We are just honoring Him in different ways. I guess what I'm trying to say, in a round about way, is please don't put everyone under one umbrella of "right" and "wrong" if the action itself is not sinful. You could be confusing to a lot of people.
The action itself (going onto eHarmony) isn't sinful. The site itself may have sinful things, but that doesn't mean that all Christians who go on there are sinful.
It's not the circumstance that you're in. It's what you do while you're in that circumstance.
41. eHarmony Blog had the following to say on Apr 22 at 8:15 AM:
eHarmony issued a public apology this morning -- see http://www.pinoy.ca/eharmony/777 .
42. Joe Tracy had the following to say on Apr 22 at 4:33 PM:
eHarmony received a lot of strong "feedback" regarding the article and they removed it fairly quickly even though it took them a week longer to issue an apology. In part, the apology states,
"The advice contained in this column was completely inconsistent with our editorial guidelines and the relationship service that we offer to our members... eHarmony is committed to helping its members find highly compatible, long-term relationships and I regret that the inappropriate content and tone of the column could lead our members to believe that we were not interested in their long-term relationship success."
The apology was issued by Stan Holt, Vice President of Publishing. I would assume that Dr. Neil Clark Warren did not see the article in advance and was likely the reason it was brought down quickly. I think it's dangerous to be too quick to judge someone in a matter like this with an organization that is so large. However, I agree that eHarmony's editorial policy needs to be strengthened to avoid this in the future.
We wrote an in-depth post about the article and the aftermath at http://onlinedating.typepad.com/industry/2008/04/eharmony-apolog.html
You can read the actual apology letter at http://advice.eharmony.com/?page=articles/view&AID=1973
Sincerely,
Joe Tracy, Publisher
Online Dating Magazine
http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com
43. Janeile had the following to say on Apr 24 at 8:19 PM:
Alicia, I didn't mean to sound judgemental, and I certainly didn't want anyone thinking that I think everyone who goes to eHarmony is participating in sin. I just want Christians to be more aware of what they support with their time, money and patronization. It just seems like Christians can get away with doing and supporting all the same things the world supports, but say it doesn't matter because they have the Christian title. Is Christian just a title or a lifestyle? Is the lifestyle the same as everyone in the world or is there a difference? Sometimes I have a hard time finding the difference - especially with Christians today where often the lines blur with secularism. There are so many people today who are Christians in name only.
You use the example of being on the internet. As far as I know, my ISP doesn't support anything corrupt. If it did, I would probably investigate other options because it would bother me. However, there are some things where we have no choice in the matter. I know some of my tax money supports Planned Parenthood and their abortion clinics and condom distribution. I can't stop paying taxes, but I can fight for and support legislation to remove their federal funding.
I don't go to movies often. I do go to the good ones - even if they're produced by the "bad" companies because I want the companies to know that if they produce good movies, they make more money. Now if I simply shrugged my shoulders and went to the "bad" movies too, wouldn't that be giving a mixed message? Would they be encouraged to do more good movies or continue with the junk?
I'm not judging anyone. God will judge everyone for what they knew and how they handled it. I am simply hungry to find Christians with conviction and by that I mean those Christians who don't think it is o.k. to elect someone who supports abortion, Christians who don't think it's o.k. to watch bad movies, Christians who are willing to put their money where their conviction lies. If your convictions say that your money is well spent at eHarmony then that's between you and God. As for me, it is better spent elsewhere.
44. Pete had the following to say on May 6 at 5:35 PM:
I had a freebie with eHarmony, but golly, is it expensive! I just signed up to be contacted by EY, as I believe that Biblical principles are worth having in order to find a wife. I'm 45, never married, but it appears to me, especially on Craigslist.org, that all the women want is to get into bed, call guys "baby," and no commitment. I have an ad on it and I don't need any hands to count how many hits I've had. I haven't compared my ad with the other men there (as if I'd be interested), but really find it difficult to respect women who sell themselves short, especially when they say the stuff they do on this site. Doesn't anyone, especially Christians, have any principles anymore? The more I read, the more I like hanging out with my service dog.
45. John D. had the following to say on May 7 at 10:52 AM:
Janelle wrote,
"I am simply hungry to find Christians with conviction and by that I mean those Christians who don't think it is o.k. to elect someone who supports abortion, Christians who don't think it's o.k. to watch bad movies, Christians who are willing to put their money where their conviction lies."
The more you know, the harder it becomes to avoid supporting any organization that promotes unbiblical behavior.
Aside from the federal, state and local governments we are compelled (indeed, commanded in Scripture) to support, just about every major corporation will have some policy that Christians will object to.
You would have to stop shoppping at major grocery chains, stop filling up your car with gasoline, not purchase that car in the first place, not watch any TV programming or read any newspaper (most U.S. media being controlled by six or so major corporations), not buy books at major bookstore chains, not buy coffee from that ubiquitous coffee shop, etc., etc.
Boycotts aren't especially effective when you have to boycott everything in the world all the time.