New Marriage and Divorce Numbers from Barna
by
Steve Watters
on Mar 31, 2008 at 10:00 AM
Most Americans get married at some point and an even higher percentage of Evangelicals do so. Evangelicals are less likely to get a divorce than other population segments, but have often been divorced before becoming believers. These are some of the findings in a new Barna study released today.
Only 22% of those Barna studied had never married and only 16% of born again Christians had not married. Additionally, Barna found that marriage and divorce percentages varied among population segments:
For instance, the groups with the most prolific experience of marriage ending in divorce are downscale adults (39%), Baby Boomers (38%), those aligned with a non-Christian faith (38%), African-Americans (36%), and people who consider themselves to be liberal on social and political matters (37%).
Among the population segments with the lowest likelihood of having been divorced subsequent to marriage are Catholics (28%), evangelicals (26%), upscale adults (22%), Asians (20%) and those who deem themselves to be conservative on social and political matters (28%).
Barna's closer look at divorce among Christians helps explain why we so often hear that Christians aren't very distinct from the world in their divorce patterns:
Born again Christians who are not evangelical were indistinguishable from the national average on the matter of divorce: 33% have been married and divorced. The survey did not determine if the divorce occurred before or after the person had become born again. However, previous research by Barna has shown that less than two out of every ten people who accept Christ as their savior do so after their first marriage.
In fact, when evangelicals and non-evangelical born again Christians are combined into an aggregate class of born again adults, their divorce figure is statistically identical to that of non-born again adults: 32% versus 33%, respectively.
1. Amir Larijani had the following to say on Mar 31 at 11:13 AM:
On one hand, there is some encouragement: evangelicals have a substantially lower divorce rate than the general population; ergo, there is a difference between the Church and the World.
On the other hand, when 1 in 4 marriages among evangelicals end up in divorce, one cannot look at that as a good thing: that's still a LOT of divorce.
On my blog pages, we are in the midst of a discussion regarding the youth and singles/young adult ministry with respect to the eventual responsibilities that we wish adults to embrace (i.e. marriage, parenthood).
If the extent to which we are preparing youth for marriage consists of "Don't have sex until you get married", then what should the expected outcome be?
We're not doing a good job teaching people about the responsibilities of adulthood: college versus vocation, good versus bad financial risk, how to date and court for marriage, the dangers of living on debt, the responsibilities of husbands and wives, professional career versus stay-at-home mom.
Don't get me wrong: I have no stew with "True Love Waits" or other programs that emphasize chastity. But preparation for marriage is more than just not committing sins; it's about taking positive steps in preparation for those responsibilities.
What we are doing now is tantamount to discipling by telling new believers to merely "put off the old". Don't forget the "put on the new" part of your responsibilities.
2. farmer Tom had the following to say on Mar 31 at 11:55 AM:
first an AMEN to Amir's comments.
Second, I would love to see a further break down of Barna's numbers between differents sects within Christianity. I am a fundamentalist, yet my answers would be lumped in with those of the "evangelical" group. From my personal experience, I would guess that there would be less divorce within fundamentalist circles than those within evangelical circles.
How one views the authority of Scripture with regards to personal life should be reflected in things like divorce numbers.
Of the "christians" that have been involved in divorce, I would guess that the numbers are higher in some varieties of evangelical churches than others.
One example, I bet that there is more divorce within, pentecostal churches than evangelical free churches. That's a guess, but it would be entirely within normal behavior patterns based upon the nature of the two different types of worship exhibited by those groups.
Let me clarify that I am not questioning anyones Salvation here, just thinking about how styles or patterns of worship would affect the behavior of the attendees to a particular branch of "Christianity".
3. Andrew R. (aka Canadian Boy) had the following to say on Mar 31 at 11:55 AM:
No matter how much you try to spin the data, it's still extremely sad. What can we do to stop all these marriages from being ruined?
4. obewan had the following to say on Mar 31 at 1:45 PM:
#2. farmer Tom had the following to say on Mar 31 at 11:55 AM:
"I bet that there is more divorce within, Pentecostal churches than evangelical free churches. That's a guess, but it would be entirely within normal behavior patterns based upon the nature of the two different types of worship exhibited by those groups."
The real questions to ask are what type of “evangelistic outreach” and what type of “divorce recovery ministry" a given denomination has. I don’t see it so much an issue of which denominations “get divorced” more often, as an issue of which denominations "win more people" to salvation who are divorced and not yet Christian.
I used to attend a PCA church, which had over 600 singles in its Sunday school class. The vast overwhelming majority was divorced, and most did not become Christians until they went through the divorce recovery ministry that ran every 12 weeks.
5. Katie B had the following to say on Mar 31 at 2:20 PM:
the distinction that barna makes between evangelicals and other believers is interesting, I wonder what conclusions that causes people to draw?
I have noticed that evangelicals are more committed to their marriages, that they consider divorce not an option, which helps explain the lower rates of it, but in my observation, that comes up short. I have noticed that many couples seem to be more committed to their marriage than they are to their spouse. I didn't grow up in a Christian home, though my parents have the most loving, respectful marriage I have ever witnessed. Since coming to Christ, meeting the couples in churches, and the parents of my friends, I was originally horrified by the way husbands and wives treated each other. (that being said, I have come to the conclusion that it is not a Christian problem, but a human problem that I was blessed enough not to have to grow up with). he levels of vindictiveness, manipulation, obstinance, and disregard for the feelings of their spouse seemed common, even among couples professing deep happiness. My parents never raised their voices to each other in an argument, never interrupted or put each other down in any way, )making sure to keep in mind what the other would offend the other, not just what they meant to be offensive), and many of the families I grew up with were the same at least in public. I assumed that that kind of repsect came with love, But since becoming Christian as well as getting to the point where I am ready to consider marriage, I talked to my mom about what the vows mean. Does until death mean no divorce no matter what, if not how do you decide when divorce is justified and when you should work it out? What if your spouse is less committed than you are? what if they change and become less committed? My mother said she had no commitment to staying married no matter what, but that she loved my father, and wanted to stay with him, so she will keep the relationship so healthy and loving that divorce never even needs to be considered (that being said, my mom went to school and worked for most of my childhood, has a great carreer that she loves and is passionate about, while working on multiple degrees the whole time, without neglecting any time, attention or energy for my sisters and I.)
Call me a romantic, call me brainwashed by secularism, call me spoiled, but to me, that is beautiful, thats what I want, I don't just want to be married for life, I want to be loved, taken care of, respected, and in union for life; those things make marriage nessesary, and divorce irrelevant.
side note: Farmer Tom: "One example, I bet that there is more divorce within, pentecostal churches than evangelical free churches. That's a guess, but it would be entirely within normal behavior patterns based upon the nature of the two different types of worship exhibited by those groups."
What does that even mean? what different types of worship? (I am aware that the style and theology of the worship varies) but what does that have to do with marriage?
6. PLH had the following to say on Mar 31 at 3:21 PM:
I wonder if a link exists between divorce and disengagement or commitment among Christians to the universal Church. The Church is clearly described as the bride of Christ in the new testament. Sadly many young Christians discount commitment to a local or the universal church. If people cannot commit to Christ's bride, why should we expect marriages between believers to be different?
7. Jennifer had the following to say on Mar 31 at 3:46 PM:
Farmer Tom said:
"From my personal experience, I would guess that there would be less divorce within fundamentalist circles than those within evangelical circles."
If you looked at those marriages over time, they'd probably be no different than other Christians, because people who start out "fundamentalist" tend to soften up over time (4-5 years, I've heard), or they leave altogether.
It's also interesting that Barna found that "only 22% of those Barna studied had never married and only 16% of born again Christians had not married...previous research by Barna has shown that less than two out of every ten people who accept Christ as their savior do so after their first marriage. "
As affirming as it seems to Christian marriage, it still represents a decrease in the numbers of people getting married, Christian or no. Many of those so-called "Christian marriages" mey have actually been formed in a not-so-Christian context ie. "prodigal sons" and daughters who return to church after they married someone they had met in the world. It would be an interesting breakdown to see how many married couples and divorced people are post marriage "converts", how many are "prodigals" and how many are lifetime church attenders ("lifers").
Better yet, would be longitudinal research that looks at what people do over time. We need find out the marriage rates of both male and female believers who are raised in the church and faithfully keep attending ("lifers") vs. those who stop for a time and then come back to church as prodigals vs. converts.
8. LAR had the following to say on Mar 31 at 5:09 PM:
farmer Tom,
I'm confused - what/why do you think style of worship (hands raised and dancing versus organ and hymnal seems to be the implication you're making) have to do with attitudes and beliefs towards marriage? And this concept of "normal behavior patterns"?
9. Mrs. B had the following to say on Mar 31 at 5:42 PM:
Another AMEN to Amir! (post 1). After I became a Christian in high school I attended plenty of "True Love Waits" events and such, which is all well and good, but I wish someone had told me some of the basics about being a grown up.
Biggest example: I wish someone had told me about MARRIAGE - not just waiting for marriage, not just how to find a good husband, but what to do once you're there! I have married friends who don't know how to budget together, don't know how to communicate with each other and argue respectfully, don't know anything about sex because they've only ever heard the "don't do it till your married" side. I know some couples who were freaked out once the "fire" settled a bit - they really thought they would always have the same passion they had as newlyweds. A good friend of mine has said before "I never thought there would be days when I had a hard time liking my husband."
So many people are so rapped up in the emotional, cinematic-love of marriage that when reality hits they think, "Oh, we must never have been in love then. I know Christian's aren't really supposed to divorce, but if we aren't 'in love' then our marriage must be a sham" (not conjecture - that's from a real conversation). So many of us are not taught the practical side of marriage; the emphasis is on what comes before, so the emphasis is on all the emotions and not the "How do we make this work in real life?" aspect. We learn so much about dating (with all it's emotional hang-ups and the fact that you can break up when you feel like it) and I think people apply their experiences in dating to marriage... and think they just can break up when they feel like it.
Another thing I wish someone told me: anything about finances. I'm clueless, and thus, more broke than I'm sure I would've been had I learned to make a budget when I first was on my own years ago. And I don't know what to do with the money I'll earn once I graduate and get a real job.
10. James had the following to say on Mar 31 at 6:53 PM:
Here's a more basic question:
what is a "downscale" adult, and what is an "upscale" adult? The terms are used as if they are self-defining, but the words used in the compound are so vague even in context that I'm having a bugger of a time figuring them out. Surely they're not talking about midgets (downscaled adult) and giants (upscaled adult), so what DO these terms mean?
11. Christina had the following to say on Apr 1 at 5:34 AM:
james,
upscale = upper middle class
downscale = lower middle class
Pretty much, the amount of money you are making =p Which makes sense. I mean we all always knew that money (or lack thereof) placed incredible stress on a relationship.
12. PLH had the following to say on Apr 1 at 6:35 AM:
I agree with a lot of what people said. I'd just add that I think churches need to take seriously the question of discipleship. Like Katie B. said, unfortunately many Christians seem more committed to the idea of marriage than their spouse. Church leaders should model the self sacrificial love Paul commanded spouses to demonstrate to each other in Ephesians 5. Christians need to strive always to be more Christ-like when interacting with family members and especially spouses. Let us remember that "the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many." People marrying should expect sacrifices and difficulties and always be ready to die for their spouse. Think about what a witness that would be if Christians modeled that than just seeking not to divorce or to abstain from sex before marriage.
13. Nate had the following to say on Apr 1 at 7:35 AM:
James (10),
:) Thanks for the laugh. I had the same question. I've never heard these adjectives applied to human beings (real estate maybe). Could a downscale adult be a person with poor hygiene? Maybe that would explain the stats.
14. Amir Larijani had the following to say on Apr 1 at 9:14 AM:
Christina:
What would an "off-the-scale" adult look like?
15. Ro had the following to say on Apr 1 at 9:24 AM:
LOL LOL downscale and upscale adults. Is there such a thing as a downscale or upscale baby? I was just wondering...
16. BDB had the following to say on Apr 1 at 9:31 PM:
Mrs. B (#9)...Oh my!
Yeah, my church created a newlyweds home group Bible study to cover all those things like budgeting, communication, etc. A couple of my friends run it. There's a BIG need, they admit. (They also joke that I should teach the budgeting one, which would be interesting. I'm not sure how it would be received, regardless of how good the spreadsheets were.)
That's one of the philosophical reasons I don't like single's groups in churches. I think that a lot of single people measure things by their feelings, then people get married and disappear. Many don't seem to realize that they disappear into dealing with a bunch of practical things.
And, unfortunately, it also means that even if a single person develops these skills in advance, other single people don't recognize those skills as valuable, so they're not on their "list" of what is attractive. Oh well.
Of course, if you get good enough at budgeting, and delay marriage long enough, you can buy a house with a yard. THEN people notice.
17. Ross had the following to say on Apr 3 at 12:00 PM:
Hmm...these numbers are much more encouraging than those I have heard other places. I've heard alot of people say that most marriages have a 50% chance of working out(even among those committed to Christ), but I tend to disagree with those people because Christ has made such a difference in my life alone in the 4 years I have been a Christian. I just wanted to comment on the emotional aspect of choosing a spouse. I believe the pitfall of many marriages is not recognizing the long term aspect of the commitment. Many of the books I have read about divorce and marriage make the important point that communication is central to a healthy marriage. While I'm not bashing the emotional aspect of such a commitment, I strongly believe that focusing on the long term aspect of the commitment can significantly assist in helping it work out. As Christ mentioned marriage is about the two becoming one this not only means sex...it means through communication, finances, life choices, and everyday life in its essence.