Fun With Words
by Tom Neven on 03/26/2008 at 1:49 PM
The Washington Post used to run a contest in every Sunday edition called "The Style Invitational." It was usually some wacky contest and always a lot of fun. I even won second place one week when the challenge was to come up with new ways to label restrooms at public places such as sports stadiums. I suggested the ladies' room be labeled "Line Forms Here" and an alternative men's room labeled "Express Lane: Two Beers or Less."
Some time ago they challenged readers to come up with new words simply by adding or subtracting a single letter. Here are some of the winners:
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Another challenge was to come up with new definitions to existing words:
Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Carcinoma (n.): a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
Flabbergasted (adj.): being appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Negligent (adj.): condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp.
Coffee (n.): a person who is coughed upon.
Oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
And my favorite:
Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline.
1. Gina Dalfonzo said the following at 2:32 PM on Mar 26:
They still run it, only now it's in Saturday's paper. They're usually great fun. I haven't worked up the nerve (or the brainpower) to participate yet, but maybe one day . . .
Congrats on your second-place finish; I love the entry! :-)
2. Andrew said the following at 2:33 PM on Mar 26:
category
1(n.): a member of the species felis domesticus which has been run over by a lawnmower
2(n.): a member of the species felis domesticus which invented the Internet
3. Stephanie K. said the following at 2:50 PM on Mar 26:
These kind of things are always such fun. Thanks for the laugh!
4. Laura said the following at 7:58 PM on Mar 26:
Hehe thanks for the laugh! Now, from the other side of the world, we have a suburb called Bald Hills. We recently teased a mate (surname is Hills) about having a suburb named after him.....he didn't appreciate it too much!
5. Novagirl in VA said the following at 8:10 PM on Mar 26:
The Style Invitational... yet another reason why I love my hometown paper. : )
6. Dani said the following at 8:10 PM on Mar 26:
Oh wow, some of these should become part of my daily vocabulary, especially "flabbergasted" and "coffee" thanks to the beloved freshman 15 and living in dorms with sick people!
7. Katie B said the following at 5:15 PM on Mar 27:
Novagirl, I agree, I grew up reading the sunday style invitational, I miss since I moved to ny.
8. Christina (in green) said the following at 1:09 PM on Mar 28:
Andrew, I liked that one :)
9. Tomias H. said the following at 9:56 PM on Mar 31:
Hehehe this made me laugh. Thanks for sharing!