A Worldview Workout
by
Denise Morris
on Mar 7, 2008 at 2:43 PM
I wrote an article this week outlining my lack of activity this winter. The reason mainly stems from the fact that I've been sick a lot. Or that when I try to do something physical like skiing, bad things seem to happen:
Skiing Day One: First run of the day with my co-worker, Ryan. He kindly swerves to avoid a child, falls hard and breaks his collarbone. Done skiing for the day.
Skiing Day Two: My friends and I get up at 6 a.m. and drive three hours to the ski resort, only to discover that my pass has been blocked out for the day. It's either go home or buy an $86 day pass. We head home — I ain't got no money, folks.
Skiing Day Three: Beautiful, sunny day. Warm weather. The slopes are great. Things are going well. Run into my ex-boyfriend. Enough said.
Skiing Day Four: Things go wonderfully for the whole morning. My friends and I enjoy a great lunch and some super-fast runs down the mountain. We decide to head down to the base. My friend accidentally does a double jump, falls and gets a concussion and lacerates her liver. Lacerates her liver, people. Spend the rest of the day and the next in the hospital.
Maybe I shouldn't ski anymore this year?
Anyway, I haven't been able to work out much this winter. I do not love working out, but I do love fitting into smaller sizes when I am shopping. But as I talk about in the article, the desire to shed a few pounds affected my thinking about eating and exercise in a negative way when I was in college:
I've gone through numerous stages in life when I've counted the calories I eat in order to lose weight. Again, I don't think this is necessarily bad. There is lots of information about the number of calories you should take in each day in order to maintain or lose weight. To do that, you have to know what you're eating and what kind of fat and calorie content it has. Calorie counting is not an evil thing.
It has, however, gotten out of control for me in the past. I've spent a lot of time obsessing over food labels, serving sizes and fat grams. If I didn't know how many calories something had, I wouldn't eat it. Sometimes I would purposely eat fewer calories than my body needed in order to lose weight faster. If I felt hungry, I would drink a diet soda or chew some gum — eating extra calories was an unforgivable sin.
This type of attitude -- being consumed with calories or feeling extreme guilt if I didn't work out -- slips in quickly and sneakily. I start out by desiring to be healthy, and somehow, I often go to the extreme. This type of thinking has not been a lasting problem for me, but every once in awhile, I can see myself heading in that direction. It's unhealthy, and like I mention in my article, it often ends up being a way for me to stay focused on myself:
Although poor body image can be an issue for me, I have come to realize that it (like most things) is a warped way of keeping attention on myself. When I become obsessed with eating and exercise, I guarantee you that 99 percent of my day is focused on me — what I look like, what I'm going to eat, what type of workout I'm going to do, what size I'm fitting into and so on. The focus on me never ends. It has even stifled my community experience — I will avoid hanging out with others if it cuts into my workout schedule.
Have any of you struggled for a time with this type of thing? What were the best ways you figured out for thinking correctly about your body and your focus?
1. John D. had the following to say on Mar 7 at 3:08 PM:
I speak as a man, so maybe my take on the subject is different from a woman's. However, I understand that you absolutely can make your body image an obsession. The best thing is to take care of it the best you know how and let nature take care of the rest.
I used to hate certain things about my body. Oddly, in my 40s, I find that it holds its shape quite well, if I take reasonable care of it. I'm more comfortable in my own skin than I was 20 years ago, even with all the graying hair.
I'm not sure I buy the assertion that " ... what I look like, what I'm going to eat, what type of workout I'm going to do, what size I'm fitting into and so on. The focus on me never ends."
Well, you need to focus on yourself to a certain degree. Whose responsibility is it to maintain your body in a healthful way -- your mom's? Naturally you will need to take reasonable care as to what you look like, what you eat, how you exercise. Just don't make it an obsession.
2. Amir Larijani had the following to say on Mar 7 at 4:36 PM:
My name is Amir, and I am a gym-aholic.
My problems started in 1999, when--at almost 200 pounds on a 5-3 frame--my doc said, "Get the weight down or you won't live to be 40!" I was 32.
So I started walking on the treadmill. As the pounds came off, walking became jogging, then jogging became running. 1 mile became 2 miles, which morphed into 3 miles. Within a couple months, I was at 5 miles a day and training for a marathon.
By the end of 2001, I finished 4 of those, and an ultra-marathon. Even tried to get into the Air Force after 9/11. Age clock ran out on me as I turned 35. I kept running, even though my back was getting sore from degenerative disk disease.
In 2005, the Army hiked up the age limit, and I was aiming to get into the Reserves. Then I blew my back out. Two disks completely herniated.
Now, I'm anal retentive about the elliptical jogger. Keeping the weight down is integral to avoiding back surgery. I cannot run--or jog, or ski, or play volleyball, or any other sport I used to enjoy. But I can do hour after hour on the elliptical. I enjoy knocking out the pullups and pushups and dips and hanging knee-lifts.
Yep...I'm an addict.
I can't say I'm obsessed with my looks, but I do enjoy being in tip-top shape, in spite of my medical challenges.
I rarely think in terms of weight anymore; I'm more focused on body fat. Trouble is, I now have the opposite problem: I probably need to gain 5 or 10 pounds.
3. BDB had the following to say on Mar 7 at 7:02 PM:
Um...there are no comments yet, so I'll start.
I stopped skiing after I injured my knee in high school. Now, every time I meet someone who skis or snowboards, I ask them how their knee surgery went...
And almost all of them say, "How did you know!" And start telling me about it...
4. Rebecca had the following to say on Mar 7 at 7:27 PM:
This has been a difficult issue for me, starting when I was just 11 or 12 and my mother suggested that I might not want to eat any more ice cream because I might need to lose some weight.
Now I would say that I am healthy, but not thin. I am on the heavy end of the scale for my height (5'9") but I AM large boned and muscular:-) I've finally accepted that as true and realized I will never be a size 8...
For me, I have given up all regularly scheduled exercise and any dietary controls because it was an issue of extreme control for me. I rarely weigh and only measure myself because I sew a lot of my own clothes. I've turned to more healthy gauges: how my body feels, if I can fit into my clothes, how I feel after running up several flights of stairs or after too many children, or even if my skin is breaking out. I have learned that these are more accurate indicators of my health than any diet plan or exercise regime.
My goal is this: to be fit enough to always do what I want to do. When I want to go rock climbing, I step things up a bit so I know that I am able to handle to physical and psychological stress. If I am dancing a lot, I need to stretch more, etc.
That said, I have learned 3 important health standards that are necessary for me to be happy with and in my body: I have to drink a lot of water each day, I cannot keep sugar or sweet treats in the house, and I should always choose the active alternative (take the stairs when I could take the elevator, public transportation and walking over driving, go out dancing if I am invited, take a walk rather than watching TV, etc.) I want health and fitness to be part of my daily life, not a control on the outside when I am not happy with what I see in the mirror or in a picture.
For me this has been a long battle of accepting that God truly did a good thing when he made me from my Polish peasant, Appalachian hill-billy and German stock. Being a physically strong woman is good and beautiful. And finally, building up my sisters in Christ by encouraging their beauty does not diminish mine and helps to take me out of my horrible self-focus. At the end of the day, what I see in the mirror is less important than what God sees in my heart. It sounds cliche, but it is true. When I look at myself, and others, with eyes that see the heart and not just the body, my focus is not on myself, and when it ventures back to me, it is more about thanking God for who he made me to be than to obsess over externals.
But it would be silly for me not to admit that I always want to present the most beautiful me that I can, so I don't neglect the externals in my pursuit of the eternal. They are just put in a better, more realistic place.
5. Rachael had the following to say on Mar 8 at 12:41 AM:
Though I've never been obsessive about calories or losing weight, somehow, a few months ago I noticed I was underweight to a point that I was uncomfortable with, and enough to concern a couple family members.
There were probably a few factors that led to the weight loss, but I don't think a desire to lose weight was one of them, as I was thin or normal before I lost the chunk of weight.
Even though I'm not extreme, I guess this means I have struggled a bit with weight even though the loss was likely unintentional. So for what it's worth here is some advice for people including myself:
1) Listen to your mind and others' prudent advice over your heart, eyes, and appetite. The latter 3 can deceive. A couple family members wanted (pressured/forced) me to see a doctor. I did. I'm not sure how helpful it was, but, it helped me think of it more seriously (though my face wasn't sunken in or anything...).
2) Recognize potentially dangerous attitudes in yourself.
For example, I do not like a particular part of my body, but even if I lost weight, I've been told that particular part might not/wouldn't change. I've heard that can be a struggle for people (fixating on a particular part of their bodies and looking only at that and ignoring the fact that the rest of their bodies is thin). What's my point for saying that? I guess that it's important to recognize potentially dangerous characteristics in oneself. I know that this can be a danger for anorexics. Though I'm not seeking to lose weight, I should recognize that I have a share a tiny trace of an aspect of that mentality.
For example #2, realize that perhaps you can't see the seriousness of the issue as much as others. Listen to 'the others' over yourself. The heart is deceptive.
3) Put in some effort and let others help you plan. Use a cookbook.
4) Pay attention to the warning signs. I got sick (likely not from the weight loss, but it probably made me lose even more weight at a time I was concerned about the loss). Also my refridgerator seemed not to be working (somehow got unplugged when no one or thing can reach back there and unplug it). Though it ended up getting 'fixed' (well, the fix-it guy plugged it in :) ) right away, it was alarming to me and I think I noticed the timing of it...
5) Don't get a scale? I think I was recommended not to get one, anyway...
I'm still not really good at eating right, and I need to put more effort into it as I've just been eating easy things lately, but, for what it's worth...
Oh, and I've been recommended a book called "Life inside the 'Thin' Cage" by someone who thought every woman should read it. Haven't read it yet, but just thought I'd throw that out there...
(Again please remember that I'm not obsessive about weight loss or trying to lose weight, so, just, keep that in mind as you read the 'advice'...)
6. Louise had the following to say on Mar 8 at 11:35 AM:
I probably am an exercise addict, but at least the exercise is good for it, whereas other addicting agents are not.
7. Jade had the following to say on Mar 8 at 4:29 PM:
Amir, I appreciate you sharing your story. I am in the military and last year suffered a lower back injury which caused a herniated disk (I'm only 24). While I am not crazy about running, I've always been very active with swimming, lifting weights, martial arts, gymnastics when I was younger, etc. Now that I've hurt my back I have to be careful with what I do and I also find that the elliptical is a lifesaver, as is just a long, brisk walk. I also do core strengthening exercises (the plank, side plank, the "dying cockroach", and stability ball exercises) which really help.
I went through some time last summer when the injury was new and the pain often excruciating where I was really discouraged because of the constant pain in my back and leg, fortunately it is better now and I know what to do to keep from aggravating it.
8. Jill Christine had the following to say on Mar 9 at 10:59 AM:
Hi:) I think it's ok to care about your health and fitness; after all, when you are taking care of yourself, you feel good and it's one less thing to worry about. Also, learning about what the body can do and is made to do is cool, especially when you see the actual changes taking place in your own body.
That being said, I do understand your worry that you were focusing too much on yourself. As long as eating right and exercising stay more like daily habits than your main focus, body image should not be too much of a problem.
Just take care of yourself.
9. Christina (in green) had the following to say on Mar 9 at 1:05 PM:
I hate going to the gym. But I like being healthy >.<
So..I'll go anyway. =p
I try not to obsess overly much about my weight and "problem areas", but I do take note of them and when I see progress, I cheer :)
So...I'll be going to the gym after work today...
10. Nick had the following to say on Mar 10 at 9:54 AM:
Well I see your problem ... and it starts with
"Skiing Day One: "
now if it was
"Snowboarding Day One: " ...
=)
11. Cassie had the following to say on Mar 10 at 11:36 AM:
This article had appropriate timing seeing as I have really been evaluating this in myself recently. Three and a half years ago I weighed 235 pounds and wore size 18/20. Now I weigh 168 and wear a 9/10, even down from 13/14 just this last summer. I have made great feats, but I have also come to realize that if I don't make one of my five weekly workouts I feel terrible. Even if I go for a walk in the hills near my house, it doesn't make up for not making it to the workout class I go to. And I have caught myself at times, even when I do make it to the 1 hour hardcore weight lifting class, still feeling the need to take an hour long walk when I get home.
I have seen some incredible strides in my fitness and even when I'm seeing the scale change, I am seeing my body change. I think that there is a difference between wanting to glorify God with every aspect of my life and becoming a bit obsessed with body image. Even though the larger culture values supermodel perfection, the reality is that life is about much, much more. I know that when my focus is on working out or beating myself up for eating poorly that I am not focusing on the greatness of God nor resting in His delight (that I can't make increase or decrease by anything I do). I know that there are ways in which I have chosen to adopt the American culture's perspective in this, and that it takes another choice to let God renew my mind. It is when we do this that we are able to be culture changers and let those around us see the glory of God that we reflect.
12. Sarah P. had the following to say on Mar 10 at 12:08 PM:
I like lookin' good. I think it's part of being a well-balanced person overall. But I also think God blessed me by making me unable to be a super-thin person... before I went to college, I was definitely obsessed with body image. The lowest size I could go on my frame, even at 12% bodyfat, was size 6. It was impossible to maintain my anal exercise/food schedule at college, so through much internal struggle I settled out at size 12, which is where my body seems to want to be on its own.
I do sometimes think it would be fun to be super-good at athletics, but again, if I was capable of world-class quality, I would feel obligated to develop that talent. I already have so many other choices to make with my time. I'm learning to be grateful for my limitations. I enjoy martial arts, swimming, Frisbee, and many other activities - esp. because I have suffered knee troubles in the past, and I understand that the ability even to walk is an amazing gift from God, not simply my due, and I should enjoy it while I can.
The good thing about my "obsessive" time is that now I have a good store of health & fitness knowledge to draw from for the rest of my life. It broke my sugar addiction and let me know what my body could and couldn't do. In fact, it is probably the reason I can be so comfortable in my own skin now - because I can "eye" food and know whether or not I want to eat it, and how much; and because I know how to use all the different parts of a gym better than most guys.
I think when you are grateful for what your body can do, it is a lot harder to have a bad image of it.
13. KJ had the following to say on Mar 10 at 8:08 PM:
I'm not sure I've yet come to a healthy balance on this...a few years ago, I decided to start working out a lot to get in shape and lose some weight. My motivation? I was very, very single at the time, and I reasoned that if I kept looking like an overweight middle-aged woman much longer, I was going to actually BE an overweight middle-aged woman (I was 23 at the time) and I would never, ever have a boyfriend. So I got really disciplined about running a few miles every day and eating well and lost a bunch of weight, which led to being able to buy a whole new wardrobe of trendy junior-sized clothes, and lots of compliments from everyone I knew. It was fun. It did not, however, lead to a boyfriend.
Fast-forward a few years. Due to a number of factors (most of which were out of my control) I gained 20 pounds in one year. I was now aware that my BMI was unacceptable and I was just a few pounds shy of obesity. So I made a decision to work out and lose weight because I wanted to be healthy. It hasn't worked out so well - in a year I've lost maybe ten of those pounds, and I don't love exercise the way I used to - it's just something I do because if I don't, I'll gain all of those pounds back with interest.
So the biggest disappointment to me, I guess, is that wanting to be a good steward of my body isn't a big enough motivator to get me to budge the needle on the scale.
14. Katie B had the following to say on Mar 10 at 9:00 PM:
I'm so glad this post was made, I have been sitting back a litte while to read other womens posts and really have been blessed by what some have shared. this is incedibly timely for me, as I have had very recently to reasses how I care for my body, since I was put on a medication that causes nausia and supresses appetite (ironically, anorexia is listed as a side affect), as well as a worsening of thyroid disease. Excersize isnt something I stress about, I live in hudson valley without a car, and walk or bike several miles a day between school, work and home. But I really have to focus on nutrition, making sure that my body gets what it needs, which is a hard, as I have in the past struggled a bit with anorexia and stimulant abuse.
I was wondering, do other women have to struggle with trying to find a healthy balance between obsession, eating disorders, and apathy? Or trying to deal with taking care of your body with chronic illness?
15. Eliza had the following to say on Mar 11 at 12:03 PM:
As a teenager I always thought I was fat. Now that I look back at the pictures, I see how totally ridiculous that was. Like I think a lot of people do, I focused on one part of my body and because that wasn't ideal to me, I was really discouraged. I was born "apple-shaped" which means that no matter how skinny I am, I'll never have a tiny waist. In college my obsession turned into eating more than I should, although never actual binging.
Long story short, in grad school I went through a really tough time and my digestive system was majorly effected by my depression and anxiety. I lost 30lbs in about 4 months, and I thought I looked great! As soon as my life went back to normal, I gained it all right back, and now I think I'm at the level my body probably likes best.
This is kind of funny, but one of the BEST things for my body image was TLC's show What Not To Wear. It teaches how to dress to accentuate your best features, and is all about confidence and personality. Also, learning how to cook and appreciating real flavor and food creativity and nutrition has helped me think about food a lot more appropriately. And it's much more fun:).
16. darah had the following to say on Mar 12 at 1:57 AM:
i never knew the art of weight lifting and endurance training until I was swept off my adidas by the most gorgeous Adonis I had ever feasted ny eyes upon. his name was eddie and he was 5 years younger than me, and his eyes were like two congas.
anyway i spent 2500 for 2 1/2 months of personal training. didnt learn much except he was commited to his girlfriend.