Silver Lining to Gray Cloud
by Steve Watters on 02/19/2008 at 10:10 AM
I spent most of last week in North Carolina with activities surrounding the funeral for my mom. She just turned 60 last month and I'm sure she wouldn't have died so young if my dad hadn't died at the young age of 56 a few years ago. There was probably a lot more that could have been done to treat the physical problems she had, but even when she said otherwise, it seemed she wanted to go on to be with my dad.
And so on what would have been the fortieth anniversary of their first Valentine's Day together, we buried mom beside dad in the graveyard behind the church that they started.
Just before she died, mom sat up in her hospital bed, looked into the distance, laughed and said, "hey" -- as if she was being greeted by someone very familiar.
This story, along with the incredible outpouring of love and support from family, from the church and from the staff here at Focus on the Family offer a comforting silver lining to the gray cloud of my mom's death.
But it is still a cloud. I appreciate how passionately C.S. Lewis grieved the loss of his wife even though he held on to the hope of a reunion in heaven. I'm reminded again that God did not originally create humans to experience the separation of death. That is the gray cloud of our fallen state. And the pain and great loss of death continues to weigh on us all.
The primary silver lining that gives us all hope is that Christ has ultimately conquered death and holds out to us the promise of an eternal life that will swallow in magnitude the all-too-short chapter of our time in mortal bodies.
1. Bethany said the following at 1:33 PM on Feb 19:
My condolences on your loss. May the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, surround you and your family during the gray days ahead, and continue to remind you of the hope we have in Jesus.
2. Rachael said the following at 8:06 PM on Feb 19:
I am sorry to hear this sad news. She was very young. Maybe your mom did have a sneak preview of heaven when she uttered her last word. I wonder if my grandpa did in his last moments or days. May the thought of her comfort and joy at being with our Savior bring you and your family comfort during this very difficult time. I will pray for you and your family.
3. Amir Larijani said the following at 7:28 AM on Feb 20:
Back in the Fall of 2006, I lost an ex-g/f to breast cancer. She went down fast. Sadly, death is a door through which we'll all pass one day, rapture notwithstanding. And yes, she is proof that you can do everything right--eat well, not smoke, not drink, etc.--and still die from cancer.
I'd have to agree: for the Christian, the ultimate perspective is eternal. That's where all the haggling over theodicy gets bungled. (I'm currently reading the book Reasons to Believe, by former 60 Minutes producer John Marks. So far, he seems to be making that age-old argument presented by the existentialist and the cynic: if there is a God, then why does He permit so much evil?)
From the temporal perspective alone, nothing is fair.
On the other hand, the premise of an eternal God--whose mercies are from everlasting to everlasting--is a great comfort.
4. Nikki said the following at 1:36 PM on Feb 20:
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about it.
5. Lynne said the following at 2:13 PM on Feb 20:
Steve and Candice,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Not now, but when you feel like it, I also found much comfort in a small book by Henri Nouwen called "In Memoriam" written after the loss of his mother. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.