Reaching the unChristian
by Denise Morris on 02/19/2008 at 7:48 AM
I blogged about the book unChristian awhile back. I won't recap too much, but the basic gist is that among young people (ages 16-29) the Church isn't doing too hot. Negative perceptions about Christians abound, and it's hurting our witness -- young people aren't willing to listen to us because they think we're anti-homosexual, judgmental, hypocritical, sheltered and so on.
David Kinnaman, the co-author of unChristian, did an interview with Focus on the Family, and it's posted here. The questions are great and Kinnaman's answers are even better. He acknowledges this problem that faces Christians, and he gives some solutions.
Some of his answers reminded me of this blog and the conversation about the tone of our conversations. Kinnaman points out that, even when we disagree, we need to be willing to listen:
We need to be willing to have very frank and open conversations with people who are not Christians. And while we want to hold fast to biblical truths, we need to learn from people about why they've come to the conclusions that they've come to. So that even if we disagree with them, we haven't simply come to them trying to convince them of our views. We may have a time and a place for that, but my take from the data is that we're far too often in the position of trying to convince everybody we’re right than trying to understand why people might disagree with us — particularly people who are not Christians.
Take a look at the interview. What do you think of Kinnaman's suggestions?
1. Justin said the following at 9:56 AM on Feb 19:
I think he's right. Evangelicals tied themselves too closely to the Republican party, and now they are facing the inevitable backlash.
see: Charles Barkley's recent comments about "fake Christians"
It's also why this blog sees so many "progressive" comments. The younger generation of Christians are rebelling against the Conservative politics of their elders.
2. Matthew said the following at 9:58 AM on Feb 19:
I heartily agree with what he is saying. I think it could stand to go a little deeper, though-- I just listened to Tim Keller's sermon on absolutism (available here: http://sermons.redeemer.com/store/index.cfm?fuseaction=category.display&category_id=29), a good set of thoughts on how Christians today are like the Pharisees-- our moral rhetoric is a set of power plays, often for political power. I think that this often results in the misperceptions of Christianity that abound in our culture. We have to be faithful to the Bible and not let the world's means of doing things shape us.
I think that the most obvious problem in the Church that the world notices (though not the most important) is that the Christian lust for power that looks no different from any other special interest group. We look just like the gun owners, the homosexuals, the PETA wingnuts, and the teachers' unions when we talk about trying to get out the vote so that we can put our guy in office. The world seeks political power to enact change, and oftentimes Christians fall into that same trap. The rhetoric that is used by the mouthpieces of evangelicalism seems set to convince us that if we get power in Congress, the White House, and the Supreme Court we can reverse the damage that moral relativism has had on our country when that is frankly anti-Biblical. (Never mind the fact that we had "our men" in power for 5+ years and it didn't fix things.) It is idolatrous to trust in the power of government to change people's lives when we have the Holy Spirit. This is not to say that we should avoid politics, but we should set it in its proper place and not act like another greedy and power-hungry enclave of whackos-- because that is what the world sees, and I believe that we can do better.
Another big one is hypocrisy. When someone like Ted Haggard is revealed to have a double life, non-Christians have to wonder if we really have something different.
Probably the biggest one is discipleship, which feeds into the first two things that I mentioned. Churches need to preach hard things, hold their members accountable for sin, and encourage people to love like Christ did (they also need to preach in such a way that false Christians who claim to know Jesus but don't really feel uncomfortable making those claims.) If we studied our Bible thoroughly enough, we would probably want to go have a conversation with our gay neighbors instead of going to a rally to protest them. We would confess the secret sins in our life instead of hiding behind hypocrisy. We would use political power to seek the good of our cities and our nation instead of just what we want.
So, to sum up this way-too-long post, this guy has got a good start. If we are hated because we love people unconditionally and preach the truth, that's good. If we are hated for being judgmental and hypocritical, that's not good (remember that most of the passages in the Bible that give us the prerogative to judge are in the context of fellow church members, not people outside.)
3. Christina said the following at 11:09 AM on Feb 19:
We live in a culture where 83 percent of Americans describe themselves as Christians. We’ve done other polling to show that seven out of 10 Americans have made a personal commitment to Jesus Christ that’s still important for their lives. Seven out of 10. But when you look at how people are living, it’s obvious that we haven’t given them a sense of how being a Christ-follower should influence every aspect of their lives. If Jesus is not Lord of all, he’s not Lord at all.
That's why I feel disconnected in the church. Especially among people in my own demographic. Since elementary school, I've understood what that above statement means. Doesn't make me perfect, and I'm not trying to be arrogant or anything...I don't succeed in putting Christ first 100% of the time...and don't expect others to do that, either. But I honestly don't feel like people actually THINK about it like that...
4. Bethany said the following at 1:31 PM on Feb 19:
It has not been anything I learned in public schools, in college, or from the New York Times that has caused me to distance myself from God. It was not the secular world but the church that made me angry. It was ordinary Christians, even pastors, and church leaders at large that made me withdraw from the Lord, for my own safety (that was my emotional logic at the time). I have since been convicted that Jesus is good, Jesus is safe, and Jesus will not betray me. I’m still not sure about all his followers, but I love Jesus.
So I guess I would agree with Kinnaman.
5. Denise Morris said the following at 4:22 PM on Feb 19:
Hey Matthew,
I would encourage you to read unChristian. It goes much deeper than the short interview.
6. Jill said the following at 4:59 PM on Feb 19:
The church is held to a higher standard than the world because we are to represent Christ. Probably why the church, and not the secular world, made Bethany angry. We are to be serious about the gospel. To offer it with truth and with love. Each generation's fundamental need remains the same; forgiveness from sin. The church's responsibility is to warn the spiritually blind that they are heading for a cliff. Sometimes that most important message may not be appreciated or presented carefully. We must still have a heart for the unsaved. It is a shame when those who call themselves Christians (many may not be) disgrace the Lord. We must remember, however, that we don't judge Him, rather that He will judge us.
7. Steve Watters said the following at 5:06 PM on Feb 19:
As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I still find Gary Thomas's book The Beautiful Fight to be among the best responses to the problems unearthed by unChristian--because of its emphasis on us being truly transformed as Christians. Here's the portion I excerpted earlier:
"When [the Sanhedrin] saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus" (Acts 4:13).
When we allow God to mark our manner, alter our attitudes, and burnish our behavior, people will naturally ask, "What is it about him? What is it about her?" They'll take note that we have been with Jesus -- and have undergone dramatic change. This gives glory to God as we become walking billboards that proclaim his reality and redeeming power.
The reverse is also true: if people take note that we claim to be with Jesus and haven't changed, that we're still driven by fear of others and our own passions, then the gospel gets robbed of its glory.
8. Rachael said the following at 7:41 PM on Feb 19:
Kinnaman wrote: "the truth is very few young people say they recognize joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control in the efforts of, in the conversations they have had, with Christians."
The perceptions of Christians would be better if the Christian were living out the fruits of the spirit through Christ's strength as, according to the metaphor Steve Watters mentioned (#7), "walking billboards".
We (Christians) should strive to develop the fruits of the spirit. But how? On our own strength? Sure we'll need to toil. But guess what! There's hope!! I LOVE how in 2 Peter 1:8, if various good qualities in us are lacking, it's because we've "forgotten that [we were] cleansed from [our] former sins." So remembering our forgiveness in Christ in the starting point to change. How? I don't know. It just is.
There's recently been a related discussion in other comments on another post (http://www.boundlessline.org/2008/02/wholly-devoted.html#comments). In comment 27 of that discussion, someone wrote: " So there are plenty of sick Christians, in daily need of a Savior. I'm among them. Though I am an authentic Christian, my character is fraught with selfishness and sin. The Lord has done some work in my life, so from time to time you may be surprised by some good you see in me."
I like this comment. At times people may good in us, but we are very sinful, way WAY beyond what people see, even beyond our knowledge and intentions! On the surface I might often appear to be a goody two shoes and gentle, but really, am I living out all those fruits of the spirit 24-7? No way!
Ultimately one's faith does not rest on the perfection of other believers. It is God's spirit who draws people to Him, and thankfully He can do that even when we fail. Even IF people didn't think they detected any sin in us (for example, if they didn't know us very well or if they have a generous idea of sin), they still might be repulsed by the gospel. 1 Cor. 1:18 - "For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing,..."
So I guess in sum, while I think it's important that we strive to remember our forgiveness and grow in and display the fruits of the spirit, I also think it's important to remember that peoples' salvation doesn't hinge upon our good qualities or lack thereof. While most of us may know that in our heads, perhaps remembering this might relieve the heavy weight some may feel (if they feel heavily burdened in this regard).
9. JB said the following at 11:56 PM on Feb 19:
Here's a free tip. If you want to come off as more "relational, compassionate, and willing to learn," work on your terminology first. I've worked with gay-rights and related organizations for years, and I have yet to meet a gay or lesbian person who prefers to be identified as "homosexual." "Homosexual" is seen as overly clinical and simplistic and people who use the term in any context that isn't purely academic are automatically flagged as outsiders, possibly bigoted ones. One would not, for example, say, "That is a great homosexual float," at a gay pride parade or, "You've done some good work for the homosexual community," at a gay-straight alliance meeting. The use of the term "anti-homosexual" in the interview is bizarre because, as a general rule, only people who are clueless about the gay community (and thus possibly anti-homosexual) would say "anti-homosexual." You'd have a much better chance of reaching people and showing compassion if you used terms like "gay and lesbian" or "LGBT" or "gay community" instead.
(This is not, btw, a critique of the OP as I'm sure it just quoted the term used in the interview.)
10. Jill said the following at 9:17 AM on Feb 20:
I appreciate Rachel's comment. God's Word will NOT return void. The world always has been offended by the cross. It is only when we recognize that Christ is our ONLY hope, that we are drawn to the cross.
11. Eliza said the following at 10:16 AM on Feb 20:
I think today's article on hypocrisy fits directly into this topic. It's a HUGE issue for those who are disenchanted with Christians in America. Suzanne says that hypocrisy is used as an "excuse" for those who have been hurt by the church, and also an excuse for those in the church, to avoid their responsibility to judge others. But she also says that it is "toxic", acknowledging that is actually a real problem, not just a minor sideline issue that people point to out of personal convenience. I'm sure her friends who dropped out of the church did not blame hypocrisy when there were really other critical issues.
Personally, I think the way the Evangelical church is organized today, it is pretty much impossible not to tend towards hypocrisy. Imagine that you are really struggling with a sin and decide to be open about it. What is the response you'd expect to receive? My impression is that you'd receive 1) pity, 2) promises to "pray for you" (often which sound more like "you poor thing"), 3) avoidance, and perhaps 4)doubts about your faith and/or salvation.
Unfortunately, the church would rather you hide your issues or struggle with them quietly than actually come out with them. The shaming of Ted Haggard is the perfect example. I'm not at all surprised when pastors "fall"; I'm much more sorry when the church rejects them, even after they're repentant.
12. Sara Wentworth said the following at 3:54 PM on Oct 15:
I personally used to be a christian before my father became an evangelical. It was witnessing the self-righteousness, condemnation, brainwashing, along with the political corruption via pass the collection plate that changed my mind. Another thing, I talked to God and he never answered, I asked my father why and he replied I should believe it because the bible says. I think going up to people with fliers and trying to "save their souls" is an infringement on an individual's spiritual paths. One of our only rights on earth is the learning and choice process, god given or not. You are losing people because you have no physical proof of god or even jesus, not to mention all the brainwashing for money, the sex offenders, etc. Christians think they are better than everyone else, and not many people are open-minded to condescending people that sheepishly follow superstition. The great pumpkin awaits!!!