They've Got the Wrong Problem
by
Candice Watters
on Jan 25, 2008 at 11:20 AM
For the first time in 15 years, teen pregnancy is on the rise. According to the report on abcnews.com,
Despite millions spent on ad campaigns and abstinence-only programs, for the first time in 15 years the teen birthrate rose, according to government statistics for 2005 to 2006, the most recent numbers available. That translates to 750,000 women who have become pregnant at least once before age 20.
How can this be? 18-year-old expectant mom, Teka Steward, a Young Life member, mission-trip participant and self-described “goody two shoes,” said, "It was just kind of an image and then temptations of doing stuff.”
Steward concludes, "I'm a regular teen. I fall sometimes ... all the times."
At least she understands that sex before marriage and unwed pregnancy is "falling." Given the avalanche of sexual information teens get in school, most of it "how-to" in nature, this stat really shouldn't surprise.
But, it does. "In the last two decades, tweens and teens have been inundated with info and programs about sex and protecting themselves in a post-HIV world," says the story. "Some wonder how a generation with access to so much information and so many contraceptives, unlike previous ones, can have a higher rate of pregnancies."
Huh.
The news story links readers looking for more information and help to the teenpregnancy.org website. According to the site, "The goal of the National Campaign is to reduce the rate of teen pregnancy and unplanned pregnancy in young adults by one-third between 2006 and 2015."
It's a reminder that until the goal is to reduce the rate of pregnancy among unmarried women, whatever age they are, any "progress" will be hollow. Yes, it's better when babies have mothers who are done with high school and no longer spending their weekends cheer leading. But without the support of a stable family, including a mom and a dad, babies suffer.
And women who mess up the order of what used to be the life script for success –- first love, then marriage, then baby in the baby carriage –- are often consigned to a life of poverty and hardship.
In "Confessions of a Teenage Mom," Bethany Torode sets the record straight,
Despite what you may read in the papers or hear on the nightly news, America does not have a "teen pregnancy crisis." In reality, we have a crisis of children born outside of marriage -- to parents of all ages and classes, from impoverished teenagers to fifty-year-old movie stars, who want the fun of sex without the responsibilities of marriage. We have a crisis of maturity and morality.
Yes, I am among those contributing to the teen pregnancy rate. [But I am married.] I would encourage other responsible young Christians in their late teens and early twenties to do the same. Women, these are the best years of your life to have a baby (ages 18-to-27 are when your body is at its peak for childbearing, and having your first child during these years significantly reduces your risk of breast cancer). Men, why not channel your youth and energy into something with profound eternal value?
I do hope the ranks of pregnant teens can, in the words of 18-year-old mom Ashley Chapman, "make new statistics." For their own sake and the sake of their babies. Sadly, it's not that easy. Until the "adults" who think it's a good idea to fill teens' minds with visions of sex (years out from when most of them will marry) start connecting the dots, it's likely wishful thinking.
1. Louise had the following to say on Jan 25 at 11:33 AM:
I think people younger than 20 are not sufficiently emotionally/mentally mature to be parents, regardless of marital status.
I know other commentors will probably disagree with my opinion, and that is fine...:).
BTW, is anyone interested in the current life of Ms. Torode (formerly Ms. Patchin)?
If so....check out this link:
http://bethanypatchin.blogspot.com/
2. Meredith had the following to say on Jan 25 at 12:22 PM:
As a teen, I watched several acquaintances and one family member become teen mothers, and I was astonished to find out that most of them got pregnant on purpose, for one misguided reason or another. I just assumed that teen pregnancies were usually accidental.
It doesn't help that celebrity after celebrity becomes pregnant out of wedlock and splashes it all over the media. With their glamorous couture maternity dresses, nannies, and loads of cash, they make it look appealing and easy. It's just not the shameful thing that it used to be.
3. Ted Slater had the following to say on Jan 25 at 12:26 PM:
Louise -- Jesus' mother Mary seems to have done pretty well for a mere teen.... ;-)
4. Louise had the following to say on Jan 25 at 1:25 PM:
Mr. Slater, I stand by my opinion.
Other people are free to have differing opinions, of course!
:)
5. Samantha had the following to say on Jan 25 at 3:14 PM:
Actually, Louise, most women are mature enough at twenty to have children. It is a common misconception that you need to be older to have kids. :) Perhaps you could give reasons for your opinions instead of just blindly stating them. When someone disagrees with you, you should try to back up your opinion. Instead of saying,"I stand by my opinion."
6. Kellie had the following to say on Jan 25 at 3:14 PM:
I would tend to agree with Louise on this one. Most teenagers are not ready to be parents, even if they are married. They are often still in school and/or have rather shakey finances.
7. Louise had the following to say on Jan 25 at 3:47 PM:
Samantha, please go back and re-read my post.
I said: "YOUNGER than twenty."
And, I was not aware that the commentors on the board are required to "back up their opinion" every time there is a disagreement.
Could we have some moderation on here, please.
Is there actually such a requirement on this blog?
One more thing, Samantha...your comment does not contain much more than your opinion and the demand that I explain mine.
Where ma'am are the reasons for YOUR opinion?
8. ag had the following to say on Jan 25 at 7:36 PM:
Checked out Bethany Torode's blog. Hard to believe she is now a working mom who plans on voting for a pro-choice candidate. She even seems to regret not finishing college. People really can change alot from 18-26. I know I did.
9. Mandi had the following to say on Jan 25 at 11:40 PM:
Great post, Candice.
The key to the success of teen pregnancy for the mom and child is indeed the order in which things are done. After all, both of my grandmothers were teen mothers but they were both married first...and went on to be fabulous moms...and grandmas!
This is a great article arguing that we should have *more* teen pregnancy, not less...but under certain conditions, with certain (higher) expectations than most have for teens.
10. Kathryn had the following to say on Jan 26 at 8:46 AM:
I think teenagers need to grow up some more before having children. Although, having children would be a good way to facilitate that maturing process. ;D
11. Lindley had the following to say on Jan 26 at 11:26 AM:
As far as the question of whether or not teenagers can handle the responsibility of marriage, I believe that depends upon the individual. I have met young women who are incredibly mature and responsible in their day to day lives and have a close relationship with God, as well as women who are by no means fit to enter into a dating realtionship, let alone a marriage.
Mr. Slater, Mary did do very well for a teen. But remember times were quite different then. She was mature enough emotionally to handle the marriage she was about to enter into and her pregnancy was not her decision. It was based on God's plan, rather than her own design and desires.
12. James had the following to say on Jan 26 at 2:03 PM:
Teens and "tweens"? Forgive my criticism, Candace, but if you are referring to twenty-somethings as "tweens", are you not taking a step back from the mission of this website, to motivate those in their early twenties to move from adolescence to adulthood? I'm reminded of the adage that treating someone as if they were mature and responsible would help them to move into such a role. I love your articles, but this stuck out to me and I want to point it out with the utmost respect. I'm motivated to also examine my own language, and be sure to try to avoid too much speak of "adultescents" or "tweens" and move towards calling them adults.
13. Jessica had the following to say on Jan 26 at 3:59 PM:
And I think that all of these responses are completely missing the point that Candice was trying to get across. It doesn't matter if people before the age of 20 are 'fit' or 'able' to be parents or whether or not anyone on this board thinks they should be. The point is that married women should be the ones becoming parents. I understand that some teenagers are dense when it comes to children. I mentored a 14 year old that was gun-ho about having a baby. She wanted someone to care about her. She had been taught how to have 'safe sex' but someone missed the part about teaching her to guard her heart. That is the point, it isn't safe sex that we should be teaching anyway, we should be teaching the sanctity of sex.
As for this whole who is old enough and who isn't. I stand by Candice that no single mother should be having children regardless of their age. I think if a woman can handle the responsibilities of being a wife, then she can handle being a mother. My grandmother was 18 when she was married and had 5 children by the age of 24. It's a case by case, and you border on being Pharisaical if your opinions become a dogma.
14. Louise had the following to say on Jan 27 at 12:22 PM:
In addition to the items ag has already mentioned, the Torode blog states that the health insurance coverage of the Torode children is provided not by their parents but by a program called "Tenn Care"....which cannot possibly be anything other than a state of TN funded health care program for children!
15. Jen had the following to say on Jan 27 at 1:29 PM:
I also looked at Bethany Torode's blog. For those who don't know, Bethany wrote a boundless article called "Confessions of a Teenage Mom" about marrying and having children young. http://www.boundless.org/2000/features/a0000422.html
She now seems to be struggling financially and emotionally (with post-partum depression) and has recanted her previous views. I am not against women getting pregnant young if they wish to do so, but I don't think it's a prescription for everyone.
16. John had the following to say on Jan 27 at 1:56 PM:
Tweens are pre-teens, between child and teenager.
17. John had the following to say on Jan 27 at 2:00 PM:
"Mr. Slater, Mary did do very well for a teen. But remember times were quite different then. "
The question is, did they do it better then or are we doing better now? Or is there some third alternative we're missing?
Adulthood is being put off so much nowadays. The Peter Pan affect is rampant!
18. k. had the following to say on Jan 27 at 4:05 PM:
I also checked out Ms Torode's blog. She comes across as an intelligent, articulate woman who loves her husband and children. She's pursuing her dream of acting, and has fought through some significant personal difficulties. But it also sounds like she can attest to the significant drawbacks of having children at such a young age.
19. Elizabeth had the following to say on Jan 28 at 9:38 AM:
Good article, but the real issue is not that there are an abundance of ads available and teenagers are ignoring them. The problem is the role that fathers are choosing not to play in the lives of young women. The teenagers that become pregnant are ones who are seeking attention or comfort from a male source. If fathers would step up and fill the roll the ads might have more of an effect.
I strongly recommend Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, to back up this way of thinking from a biblical perspective.
Do you really think that God chose Mary because she was of a suitable age to be a mother? No way, there was something special about Mary that had nothing to do with her age.