Single Soldier Adopts Iraqi Orphan
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 12/27/2007 at 8:07 AM
Everyone loves a feel-good story at Christmastime. And my favorite feel-good stories have to do with adoption. The New York Sun reports this story of the unlikely adoption of an Iraqi orphan by a U.S. soldier. Captain Scott Southworth first met Ala'a four years ago:
On September 6, 2003, halfway through his 13-month deployment, Captain Southworth and his military police unit paid a visit to the orphanage. They played and chatted with the children; Captain Southworth was talking with one little girl when Ala'a dragged his body to the soldier's side.
Black haired and brown eyed, Ala'a spoke to the 31-year-old American in the limited English he had learned from the sisters. He recalled the bombs that struck government buildings across the Tigris River.
"Bomb-Bing! Bomb-Bing!" Ala'a said, raising and lowering his fist.
"I'm here now. You're fine," the captain said.
Over the course of 10 months, the two developed a relationship, and Ala'a, who suffers from cerebral palsy, secretly began calling Captain Southworth "Baba," which is Arabic for "Daddy." Even though he was a single man with no wife and children back in the states, Captain Southworth felt compelled to adopt the boy.
Captain Southworth's decision was cemented in spring 2004, while he and his comrades watched Mel Gibson's film, "The Passion of the Christ." Jesus Christ's sacrifice moved him. He imagined meeting Christ and Ala'a in heaven, where Ala'a asked: "Baba, why didn't you ever come back to get me?"
"Everything that I came up with as a response I felt ashamed. I wouldn't want to stand in the presence of Jesus and Ala'a and say those things to him."
Captain Southworth was able to adopt Ala'a and bring him to the U.S. in January 2005. Today the boy is 13 and thriving. It's apparent Captain Southworth has embraced his unexpected calling.
Ala'a — who picked out his own name, which means to be near God — knows he's where he belongs. Captain Southworth always says Ala'a picked him, not the other way around. They were brought together, Captain Southworth believes, by a "web of miracles."
HT: Justin Taylor
1. Ken said the following at 8:19 AM on Dec 27:
Precious...
I've had many friends serve in the military and this doesn't surprise me at all. Are there bad apples? Of course...even in church there are. Jesus warned us of wolves in sheeps clothing.
But hearing this and just finishing watching Band of Brothers, it reminds me that a lot of these men fight for the right reasons and in the process show a lot of compassion.
2. Anna said the following at 9:32 AM on Dec 27:
I read this story somewhere else too. It is amazing!
3. Robert J Espe said the following at 12:03 PM on Dec 27:
Nice story... (mumbles under breath about the inappropriateness of a single anything adopting a child)
4. Jo said the following at 1:36 PM on Dec 27:
Robert - While I would usually agree, surely a single guy adopting an orphan is better than no one adopting him...
5. Anna said the following at 1:49 PM on Dec 27:
Robert, I can understand why you might say a child would be better off in a two-parent home. But in an imperfect world, a single-parent home is better than no home at all! Do you really think that boy would have been better off if the soldier said, "Oh, I'm single... I'll just leave you in this state-run facility to rot"?
6. M said the following at 2:18 PM on Dec 27:
Thanks for sharing this story! This is a heartwarming one. It's great how our troops care about the civilians and reach out to help them.
A church member is a soldier in Iraq and he loves passing out stuffed animals, soccers, and school supplies to the children. He also shares homebaked goodies from home, Colorado postcards, and other stuff with the Iraqis.
7. Louise said the following at 2:21 PM on Dec 27:
"A single anything"....Mr. Espe..that is rather unpleasant terminology.
If you don't approve of "single people" adopting, well so be it, but please remember singles are human, too!
8. Carrie (the original) said the following at 2:40 PM on Dec 27:
You know, I mull over in my head from time to time about the notion of being single and adopting. As things stand in my life right now, I know I shouldn't adopt. I would have to put the child in daycare. There is no sense in me spending time and money to adopt a child I can't take care of.
However, if circumstances were different and I could earn an income without having to leave home or be work in a child friendly environment, then I would seriously consider it.
I know the importance of having a two-parent home, but why should a child be depraved of at least one loving, functional parent?
I'm also for homosexual adoption. So, consider the source.
9. J. said the following at 5:50 PM on Dec 27:
Kudos to Capt. Southworth! The command to care for orphans (James 1:27) is for all of us, whether married or single, and adoption is certainly one way to go about doing this.
Robert, have you, or would you consider, adopting a child?
10. Brandon said the following at 8:07 PM on Dec 27:
This story reminds me of another I read two years ago at the United States Air Force Museum in Dayton Ohio. There was a young fighter pilot (who I believe was also a minister, or later became one) who took notice of the large number of orphans in Korea during the Korean War. He also decided to do something about the situation. He started an orphanage with the help of other Air Force members and the Red Cross. However, instead of adopting the kids himself he provided a conduit for people in America to adopt the kids. I think this is probably a better way to go about things than to raise a child in a single parent home. It certainly appears that this soldier has his heart in the right place, but perhaps he is not taking full consideration of a child's needs.
11. DannieA said the following at 8:22 PM on Dec 27:
I've been a fan of good thought out adoption....two family or strong single...so I respectfully disagree with Robert.
I've heard this story a few times. It's very touching! Especially considering the fact that this child has special needs too. (I'm a speech therapist and work with all kinds of kids)
12. Ashley said the following at 9:26 PM on Dec 27:
I myself strongly support adoption and hope to adopt children someday. I still have not decided my exact stance on single versus couple adoption, as I do think the best situation is a couple adoption. Basically, if a single parent adopts, the child is missing one or the other figure they need (a mother or a father). From my extensive work with youth and studies, it can be concluded that children need both parents - and especially their father. (This isn't to say they don't need their mother, as I mentioned, they need BOTH parents... but the vast number of children growing up without a father or without an involved father tend to experience many different issues. Of course I know people will argue, this isn't a perfect world. I know that. But how much better is the situation for the child who is adopted by a single parent? Honestly this could be argued on this board, but I'd like to see studies comparing outcomes of those raised in orphanages or other places versus those raised in single, and then two-parent homes, to see how different the outcomes are. One must also keep in mind that some symptoms of a lack of a parent or types of parenting often don't appear until adulthood; so children may "appear" to be just fine but really they may not be. These issues must all be taken into consideration.
On another note - it is nice to hear a love story; by this I mean, God's love transferred in the way of fatherly love. Children today need this more than anything...
13. Rachael said the following at 10:12 PM on Dec 27:
I think it's really cool that he adopted Ala'a! Here's a videoclip I found last month on CNN:
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2007/07/06/cnn.heroes.scott.southworth.cnn
14. Abby said the following at 11:17 PM on Dec 27:
This is the first time I've heard this story, but all I can say is good for Captain Southworth!
I agree that children should have two parents, but no one can EVER guarantee that... Sometimes loving, young married Christians become widowed and suddenly face life as a single parent, or a spouse leaves a marriage with children... No one knows what the future holds for their life! Circumstances of life could be such that any one of us might possibly be a single parent. Not ideal, but realistic.
The only people who have a right to criticise a single man adopting a child would be (presumably married) people who have also adopted. This man is pouring his life to care for a child who needs a parent to love him. Anyone who has not made those sacrifices in obedience to a biblical command by caring for orphans has no business "muttering under their breath" about singles adopting.
My fiance and I look forward to raising a family that we hope would include biological and adopted children all together. If I were not engaged, or anything happened to my fiance before we had children, I would likely gear my entire career around creating a work-from-home business so that I would be in a position to adopt a child in a few years.
As a future military wife and (hopeful) adoptive mommy, this story was very touching.
15. Suzanne said the following at 11:39 PM on Dec 27:
While we can discuss the disadvantages to single adoption all we want, one of the issues in this story was Captain Southworth's conviction that he was the man God was asking to adopt Ala'a. Scripture does not condemn the act of a single person adopting a child. While the ideal situation would be for a child to have a mother and father, Captain Southworth was not violating a biblical command in rescuing a child at the Lord's prompting. In fact, as J. said, he was honoring James 1:27.
16. Louise said the following at 6:32 AM on Dec 28:
Brandon, the adopted child is thirteen years old. He isn't an infant.
He and the adult established a relationship while he was living in the orphanage.
Did it ever occur to either your or Mr. Espe that the boy would prefer to be adopted by a single adult he knows and likes rather than stay in an orphanage or be adopted by a couple he does not even know?
17. Robert J Espe said the following at 7:01 AM on Dec 28:
Let me explain myself. Had this post been about a single career woman adopting an American child, I don't think Boundless would have approved. Likewise, I used "anything" to encompass single heterosexual males and females, as well as homosexual couples of both genders, neither of which I believe would have been favorably blogged about had they adopted the child in question.
In the above cases we always hear how that shouldn't be happening because a child NEEDS a two parent mother father home (that is the only legitimate reason to prevent a homosexual couple from adopting). Well if children from war torn countries don't absolutely need a mom and dad, I don't see why any other kid would either, therefore we should encourage all singles, cohabitaters, and homosexual couples to adopt children from other countries because it is "better than them not being adopted".
I think the soldier's best course of action would have been to sponsor the child, provide for his immediate needs financially and then assist in finding him a good home. But since that provides less personal gratification, of course that option just gets swept under the rug. However I believe that would qualify as caring for an orphan. What is done is done however, now I just see this guy as being in dire need of a wife.
18. Melissa D. said the following at 8:42 AM on Dec 28:
It seems like I remember reading that kids are better off in orphanages than in a single parent home. True?
19. Jo said the following at 9:33 AM on Dec 28:
Carrie -
"I'm also for homosexual adoption. So, consider the source."
Interesting. For the same reason, ie because a less-than-ideal but loving home is better than no home at all?
20. Louise said the following at 10:26 AM on Dec 28:
Melissa D., that cannot possibly be true.
Just read "Oliver Twist."
21. Tami said the following at 10:46 AM on Dec 28:
If you haven't read the full article, I strongly encourage you to do so.
While I generally agree that adoption into a two-parent home is the preferable option, I think in this specific case, it is better for Ala'a to be adopted, rather than simply "sponsored", by Capt. Southworth.
This is a story of a specific man and a specific boy brought together by God. These two have a very personal connection that couldn't be substituted. Ala'a wants *Captain Southworth* to be his Baba, not some other people that Captain Southworth pays to raise him.
As I reflected on this last night, I thought of my heavenly Father. He didn't pay for my adoption and then "outsource" the care. He has taken on responsibility for me. He adopted me, and cares specifically and personally for me.
I see my Father reflected in this story.
22. Carrie (the original) said the following at 11:23 AM on Dec 28:
Jo - yes
I know, from experience and scientific research, that homosexuals are more prone to non-monogamous relationships. However, if there is that (somewhat rare) couple who has been and seeks to continually be in a monogamous relationship, then they shouldn't be prevented from adopting. Not an idea that FOTF would condone (and I completely understand why), but that's OK. Even in my circles this idea is taboo. I can handle that.
It's becoming more and more obvious to me that my sins are no different or more horrid than that of the promiscuous homosexual. So, if it's OK for me to adopt (as a single woman), then monogamous homosexuals shouldn't be prevented either.
23. J. said the following at 11:50 AM on Dec 28:
"The only people who have a right to criticise a single man adopting a child would be (presumably married) people who have also adopted. This man is pouring his life to care for a child who needs a parent to love him. Anyone who has not made those sacrifices in obedience to a biblical command by caring for orphans has no business 'muttering under their breath' about singles adopting."
I agree, Abby.
Robert, as you deigned to not answer the question I posed to you above, I will assume the answer is "no."
Another thing to consider re the differences between adopting an orphan and providing assistance to an orphanage (whether financial, volunteering one's time, or both) is that adoption is a lifelong commitment of love, resources, and time. It isn't supposed to end when a child is no longer a dependant in the eyes of the law; rather, it continues to provide a family structure, stability, and a source of emotional support well into an adoptee's adult years. Extended families of orphans are often, let's face it, unwilling or unable to provide these things for them.
24. Brandon said the following at 1:21 PM on Dec 28:
Just a note about James 1:27. It says to visit widows and orphans (sponsor?) it makes no indication that they are to be adopted.
The other point is that this boy wants Southworth to raise him not have Southworth pay someone else to accomplish the task. However, isn't this exactly what Southworth is going to have to do? He's not going to be able to work his civilian job and take part in the Army Guard and stay home and raise a kid all at the same time. Especially a child with special needs. The point is he is essentially sponsoring the kid anyway. So why not sponsor him into a family that can more fully care for his needs. Perhaps that is Southworth's plan all along since there is no strong indication in the article that persuaded me either way.
Carrie's point is also interesting. She sees her sins as being equal to those of the homosexual. As a result they should also be allowed to adopt because she has that priviledge? That logic is totally backwards. I agree that one sin is as equally bad as another with regard to the holiness of God. My action of cursing or telling a white lie and another man's action of raping and killing some girl make no difference to God. Both sins have the same result and that is death (for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God). However, no one will ever convice me that God sees both the same way. There are many places in the Bible where God specifically points out certain sins and labels them as abominations. So there do appear to be catagories of sin some worse than others. Second and more importantly one person's sin does not equal justification for another person living in sin to adopt a child (or similar act). Especially if that sin is homosexuality where it's influence is brought to bear on a child. That really goes for anything else as well. A child molester shouldn't be allowed to adopt neither should a heterosexual that is promiscuous. Further the Bible clearly points out sexual sin as having the most damage to individuals. And that is where you want to put a child?
If Carrie truly feels that she has a point with her argument then I pray she gets right with God so that she can see clearly enough to take a stand for something. From my own experience I know that it is impossible to stand for truth when you're drowning in self-created lies.
25. Natasha said the following at 1:39 PM on Dec 28:
I am totally in support of Capt. Southworth! He did something that most people would never even consider-adopting not only a teenage orphan, but a child with a significant disability. Among children to be adopted, older children with disabilities are rarely, if ever, adopted. (My Dad worked for social services & confirms this)
It appears that so far in this debate over "single" adoption, nobody has mentioned a point that I'd say is rather crucial. Is it a Christian home. I would say that a child would be better off being adopted by a single Christian person than adopted by a nonchristian couple. Yes, the lack of a father/mother figure can be detrimental, but ultimately it is the child's spiritual health that is most important, isn't it? And a single parent can (though it takes time and a willing person) find someone to provide an opposite sex parental figure (ex. a grandfather, a close friend, etc) to make up for the lack.
Just my thoughts.
:)
26. Tami said the following at 1:43 PM on Dec 28:
Another thing - So often we complain about the men who aren't "stepping up." But Captain Southworth is stepping up in numerous ways. He allows God to speak to him, and he's obedient. He is a leader at work. He takes risks. He stands up for a child. He wants to make a difference in his community, and is taking steps to do just that. There is much to be admired in his example.
To Brandon's point, I don't get the sense that Southworth will eventually give Ala'a up. Southworth's mom is currently helping to raise the boy. And it sounds like Southworth hopes to marry his current girlfriend and have more kids.
27. dana111 said the following at 1:48 PM on Dec 28:
While I agree that single women should not adopt (and I am a single woman), I don't see anything wrong with a man adopting, raising, and discipling a teenage boy. Isn't it a different situation for a grown man to take in a teenage boy than for a single career woman to take in a infant?? To me, a single woman who conceives or adopts a child is acting selfishly because she will not be able to raise her small child adequately because of her work schedule, school schedule, and other things. Hopefully, Capt. Southworth will teach his son to be the same kind of man that he is.
28. Brandon said the following at 2:43 PM on Dec 28:
To be clear:
I agree with Natasha, Tami and Dana. I am in no way condeming Southworth. I think there definitely need to be more men of action within the Church, but I also don't think this example should be applied across the board. It definitely seems like a case by case type of situation.
29. Jo said the following at 3:06 PM on Dec 28:
Whoa Brandon...
"If Carrie truly feels that she has a point with her argument then I pray she gets right with God so that she can see clearly enough to take a stand for something. From my own experience I know that it is impossible to stand for truth when you're drowning in self-created lies."
How can you make such statements about someone you don't know just because her opinion disagrees with yours? She's not saying homosexuality is okay, just that if a child has no family it's best for him to find a loving home (even if it's a homosexual one) than no home at all. You don't have to agree, but it really doesn't warrant that kind of reaction.
30. Carrie (the original) said the following at 3:09 PM on Dec 28:
"A child molester shouldn't be allowed to adopt neither should a heterosexual that is promiscuous. . . .
If Carrie truly feels that she has a point with her argument then I pray she gets right with God so that she can see clearly enough to take a stand for something. From my own experience I know that it is impossible to stand for truth when you're drowning in self-created lies."
If you re-read my previous comment I say that it should only be monogamous, committed homosexuals that are allowed to adopt. I don't see any difference between a promiscious single adopting and a promiscuous homosexual couple adopting.
As far as assuming judging my spiritual well-being, I'm a little taken aback. I don't want to take comments any further away from the point of the blog post (an single, male American soldier adopting an Iraqi child who he formed a special bond with), but I would really warn you about making such statements. You aren't my pastor or my elder. You are merely seeing words on a screen that are musings of mine. It is not solid evidence as to whether or not I am truly playing with fire.
31. Brandon said the following at 4:03 PM on Dec 28:
Carrie,
I think you are missing the point. Homosexuality is a sexual sin. The Bible clearly points that out among the other sins I listed. Monogomous or premiscuous does not make a difference. Two monogomous people of opposite genders living together outside of marriage is also sinful. In this case I feel it is better that he not have a family at all then one that would be so openly in rebellion to the word of God. Obviously the best choice is a Christian home.
You are right that I am not your pastor nor am I your elder. I think you may be reading more into my post then what I intended and such is the danger of message boards. I am merely concerned for your sake. I'm not judging you personally, but I am judging what you wrote. What I walked away with is an idea that goes against Biblical teaching. I just wanted to challenge your thinking on that aspect and hope that you are not being lead down the wrong path of thinking. I know what it's like to not be right with God and I think I can see that coming out in your posts. However, you are right it is easy to be misunderstood when reading or posting things on the internet. If things between you and God are right then please forgive me, if not then please challenge yourself to seek Him out.
32. DannieA said the following at 5:22 PM on Dec 28:
I believe that when God calls a person to help humanity/a particular calling, they should listen to God and not to man...so we can agree with single adoption or not, but really...if God calls someone to adoption of a particular child...then sorry...our human opinion really doesn't matter before God because His calling was heard by His follower.
33. Ed Slater said the following at 12:24 AM on Dec 29:
This blog reminds me of the kid's game "telephone" where the message becomes garbled as it passes from one person to the next. This message is actually about the "unlikely adoption of an Iraqi orphan by a U.S. soldier."
Scott adopting Ala'a is simply an example of Christian love. Scott visited the Iraqi orphanage because of God's love within him. He developed caring relationships with Ala'a and other orphans. He recognized Ala'a was powerless to help himself. So when Ala'a asked to be saved from a dire situation., Scott adopted him into his own family.
Sounds like a parable, doesn't it?
34. Melissa said the following at 3:06 PM on Dec 29:
You know, as a single gal, this story made me wonder something...
This account doesn't mention Capt. Southworth's marital status today (the last update mentions that Ala'a was adopted in January 2005; I'm sure we all know people who have met and married in shorter time than 3 years...) But if he's still "in dire need of a wife," let me be the first to volunteer!! The kind of compassion and unselfishness that he showed in adopting the boy and loving him as his own gives me a clue as to the kind of husband he might be! True that single parenthood is not the most desirable or biblical way to raise a child, but in this particular case, his actions were motivated by a love for God and love for others, which as I remember, are the MOST important commandments!
35. Suzanne said the following at 3:43 PM on Dec 29:
Something I just thought about...everyone has been very positive regarding the movie "Bella." In it [spoiler warning], a single man adopts so that a woman will not abort her baby. This is a similar circumstance. Captain Southworth has rescued a child who will now grow up with the opportunity to hear about Jesus Christ.
36. Kevin said the following at 11:04 PM on Dec 30:
While I don't particularly agree with Robert, I do agree that outside the feel-good aspect of this story and the season of its context, the action of a single man adopting a child would generally seem out of place on this site that is all about "if you are unmarried and want a child, then get married you sluggard" (as if this is always our choice).
It could be that I misinterpret the seasoning of prior posts on this topic, but that would seem to be the prevailing wisdom of many of these authors. Which makes me agree with Robert as far as this article appearing to support an ideal generally condemned here (regardless of whether or not it should be).
37. Ted Slater said the following at 8:51 AM on Dec 31:
Kevin -- while kids tend to do better with two parents, we believe that one loving parent is better than none. I wrote about single parent adoption back in March -- it generated a good deal of discussion. :-)
38. Ed said the following at 6:59 PM on Jan 5:
Rachael, here is the complete URL of the CNN Heros interview of Scott and also of Ala'a. The interview answers some of the above questions.
Just copy the following and paste to your browser URL line:
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2007/07/06/cnn.heroes.scott.southworth.cnn
39. Lori said the following at 7:29 PM on May 20:
I think it is very kind for anyone to adopt an orphan. This is a very special case though. Ala'a was assumably born in Iraq to Muslim parents. His parents most likely were going to raise him as a Muslim. I only hope that he is brought up as his biological parents would have raised him... a Muslim.
40. Ted Slater said the following at 9:45 PM on May 20:
Lori (#39) -- thank you for you comment.
I, on the other hand, hope he is brought up in the true faith, rather than in a skewed religion. It would be wonderful if he is saved twice: from the orphanage without parents, and from the just consequence of his sins.