Why Do Women Settle?
by Candice Watters on 11/07/2007 at 4:17 PM
If the school has a dance but nobody shows up, did the dance happen?
That's the question lots of high school girls will be asking if a recent trend takes hold. According to Jeffrey Zaslow in "Some Date: How Homecoming Is Losing Out to Hanging Out," his daughter was asked to homecoming but the boy who asked her "never bought tickets to the dance." The plan was to dress up, eat a fancy dinner, then hang out for the rest of the night at someone's house. "I live in suburban Detroit," wrote Zaslow, "but this phenomenon is playing out elsewhere in the country, too -- a telling example of the indifference with which young people today view dating, chivalry and romance."
Zaslow felt bad for his daughter and her friends who, he said, were "disappointed. ... They would have loved to have been taken to the dance." During the pre-event parental photo shoot, his "heart went out to those girls -- all dressed up with no place to go. Couldn't we, as parents, have demanded that the boys take our daughters to the dance?" he wondered. Well, um, yes. Actually. You could have.
"Why did we stand there, clicking our digital cameras, saying nothing?"
Good question. One Zaslow later comes back to, saying,
As the father of three daughters, I wish that more parents of sons would talk to their boys about being respectful, and about the thrill that can come from holding hands. Those of us with daughters need to tell them that empowerment is less about sexual freedom and more about recognizing their true feelings.
It is too bad that my daughter and her friends didn't demand that the boys take them to homecoming. Yes, they risked being dumped for easier girls. But maybe the boys would have gotten the message and, as promised, graciously escorted their dates to the dance.
What's missing in all this discussion is the realization that if the boys are going to respect the girls, that respect must first be modeled by the dads. What's really too bad is that Zaslow didn't follow his gut and insist his daughter's date have integrity, rather than leaving her unprotected, the problem resting fully in her hands.
1. Britta said the following at 4:46 PM on Nov 7:
Hmmmm...I wonder what would have taken place if Dad had put his foot down with the young men. And, I wonder what would have taken place if dad, daughters, and young men had talked about expectations before it was Homecoming night and the girls were all dressed up with no place to go. Along with poor manners on the guy's part it seems to me like poor (if any) communication all the way around.
2. Leah said the following at 5:04 PM on Nov 7:
I completely agreed til the last part when you said "What's really too bad is that Zaslow didn't follow his gut and insist his daughter's date have integrity, rather than leaving her unprotected, the problem resting fully in her hands".
She is no more unprotected with her friends at someone's house in lieu of homecoming than with her friends at someone's house after school one day.
Britta- I don't feel you can blame the girls or dads for the poor communication. The girls' dates clearly didn't tell them they weren't taking them to the dance.
3. k. said the following at 5:35 PM on Nov 7:
I wasn't really into homecoming in high school. I would actually have gone for something like this!
Later in the article, Zaslow writes, "My wife and I debated insisting that our daughter's date take her to homecoming. Our daughter asked us not to do that. The boy, a nice kid, wanted to go to homecoming, she said, but was following his peers. Because there was parental supervision at that night's gathering, we bit our lips and let it be."
Makes sense to me -- part of growing up is gradually taking on more of the decision-making process.
4. Carrie said the following at 5:48 PM on Nov 7:
Yes, I agree that the young lady's father should've said something. It would've caused a few moments of awkwardness, but the girl would've eventually been grateful for her father's intervention.
As for myself, I've been very blessed in the fact that my father has always been appropriately protective of me and my two sisters. There was one instance in junior high when one of my male classmates shoved me. I wasn't hurt, but the moment my dad heard about the incident, he was on the phone with the boy's parents and debating about whether or not to contact school authorities. His efforts had the desired effect; I never had another problem with that classmate. I felt terribly embarrassed at the moment, but now I'm very happy to have a father that will demand that other men respect me.
5. Julie said the following at 6:32 PM on Nov 7:
I'm a high school teacher, and I think that if you truly want young people to be behaving in integrous, and modest ways - you will encourage teenagers NOT to go to dances. I have chaperoned quite a few, and I can tell you that if the parents in this story had actually gone to a high school dance and saw what happens there, any decent parent of a teenager would not want their son or daughter there.
Dances today are mostly kids grouping together in the middle of the dance floor and making movements that are nothing more than crude mimicry of sex. By the middle of the night, there is so much sweat on the dance floor from all the "hot and heavy" action that we have to have a janitor clear the floor for a minute while he mops it down.
To be sad that your daughter isn't out there "bumpin' and grindin'" with her teenage escort, is in my opinion, to be living life either in sin or in extreme ignorance and possibly naive nostalgia.
The other negative as I see it is the build-up before one of these dances, and often times, the let-down afterwards. Especially for the girls, having a boy ask them to a dance is a major social coup, and leads to all kinds of ridiculous talk about how now this boy is probably going to be her "boyfriend." High school kids don't date really anymore - they are serially monogamous - and take their relationships way too seriously for the stage of life that they're in. They often go too far both physically and emotionally; they aren't ready to deal with this emotionally...and so when the inevitable let-down occurs, they are often psychologically damaged in a way that almost likens itself to a mini-divorce.
You can say that this is not always the case, doesn't have to be the case, etc. but this is the reality at most high schools. Unfortunately, because I love these kids, I am privvy to their personal lives quite often and see this nearly every week (and nearly daily near dance time or major holidays).
I'm no prude - I like to have fun - I date and have a boyfriend. But I urge you - let's as a society get rid of this social custom. In a country where people claim to care about purity, teen pregnancy, premarital sex or teens losing their virginity earlier and earlier...why, WHY are we encouraging them to couple up like this, and then rub their bodies together? Why are we exposing their growing bodies and fragile psyches to this kind of thing? Stop living vicariously through your children!
As an educator, and a Christian, I look at this situation and I think they would be much better off spending time at a friends' house - especially with parental supervision.
Thanks for allowing me to comment. :) I hope I haven't been too offensive - I just care about these kids - and rarely get a venue to discuss this sort of thing. This is my first post to this site.
6. Bethany D. said the following at 6:32 PM on Nov 7:
One thing I find especially concerning about this is the dishonesty involved. If those young men had explicitly stated when they invited the girls that they were planning an alternative-to-homecoming event, that would be fine; in fact, some girls might like getting away from the fluff. But for the guys to say one thing yet plan another defrauds the girls.
7. farmer Tom said the following at 6:45 PM on Nov 7:
Since I seem to be well know around here as a bomb thrower. And I don't mind that reputation. I have to ask a rather impertanent
and probably unpopular question.
Does this guy claim to be a christian? I couldn't tell from the article.
Anyway, why would a parent trying to raise a daughter with morals and virtue let her go to a dance in the first place??
I can't think of any place with more sexual energy, stimulation and obsession than a bunch of hormonally charged teenagers thrashing their bodies around to the beat of loud music at a dance, unless it would be some gal sliding up and down the pole in a strip club.
And both places seem to serve a similar purpose, which is to call attention to ones self for the purposes of eventual gratification.
I have a hard time believing that showing up at a dance, partaking in the activities involved and then leaving all revved up on sexual energy is the kind of behavior a Christian should be involved in. But, I also disapprove of strip clubs, so what do I know??
8. BDB said the following at 7:09 PM on Nov 7:
Homecoming...dance?
Strange...I remember homecoming football games; particularly the part about cheerleaders painting people's faces in school colors. (I look good in purple and gold, apparently.)
But I don't recall a dance...
Maybe I'm thinking of college. No, we had homecoming floats there...this time with cheerleaders trying to build something on a trailer with duct tape, wood and paper...(one year I had to track down dry ice for a "land of the lost" theme)...and of course the homecoming bonfire...
Would you wear a fancy dress to a bonfire? I don't remember any...
I dunno...
9. RL said the following at 7:27 PM on Nov 7:
Hmmm, well, one trend these days is to discourage dating and move towards courtship. As such, maybe the boys were refraining from uncommitted & random dating. Perhaps they decided that a group event would be a better venue for all to know each other, while keeping each other accountable. Maybe the boys needed to save money for college and couldn't spare the expense of elaborate festivities.
Not saying I agree, nor saying that this reality ... but just a thought. I recall reading somewhere that courtship would discourage more of these kinds of dating practices. Perhaps this is why it sounds like more women are not being asked out these days?
Again, just a thought ...
10. Laurie said the following at 8:54 PM on Nov 7:
"Those of us with daughters need to tell them that empowerment is less about sexual freedom and more about recognizing their true feelings." Yes, and I would add, expressing those feelings when appropriate.
If the girl wanted to go to the homecoming dance, she should of said something to her date. Isn't part of a parent's responsibility to teach his children to be independent adults and make adult decisions? Therefore, I would think it's important for a father to teach his daughter to "pick her battles" and then communicate important expectations and desires to the men in her life. Her father isn't always around, and she needs to learn to say "yes, no, I'm uncomfortable with this," etc. If all men were concerned with women's wellbeing at all times, I think it would be okay to teach a woman to be dependent on a man's protection. However, since this isn't the case, I believe that daughters should be taught to assert themselves. Highschool is a good time to begin teaching a young woman this.
Besides, if there was parental supervision at the night's gathering, it sounds like the night's hang out was actually a more "supervised" or "safe" place than the dance itself.
I'd think the problem is in communication between the girl and her date, and maybe the parents should have encouraged their daughters to say something if it was that important.
11. brx said the following at 8:57 PM on Nov 7:
There's much too little detail to be casting judgements here. I think Zaslow's point-in-retrospect and Candice's, is a call to fathers to encourage and help the young generation in doing good dating and planning well for the 'big' date events.
We didn't have homecoming at my small school, but I and a few friends did opt out of prom for the hang-out because prom was a cheeseball rip-off: 100$/ticket for a buffet dinner and DJ playing booty-dance music at a hotel event room. For a 100$/head, I could easily get a nice dinner served at my table and a live band with a nice wood dance floor! One of my teachers (who attended the same school years prior) boasted/lamented that at his prom, they had Van Halen playing live! That was before they got so popular of course, but still...
12. Chris Krycho said the following at 8:59 PM on Nov 7:
Leah - she was unprotected not in the sense of where she was, but in the sense of not being given what was promised. That was the sense in which "left her unprotected" was used, if you look.
(We seem to be disagreeing lots the last few days; it doesn't in the least change my high regard for you. :-) )
13. Anu said the following at 9:10 PM on Nov 7:
hmmmm these girls should have done like my friends and I did in high school and gone in a big group of girls, with a few guys mixed in. No sense waiting around for "male leadership" when there is none to be had.
14. laura said the following at 9:33 PM on Nov 7:
I don't think that skipping a dance is bad at all; in fact, it might even be constructive. I have only been out of high school for two years, and I still remember what goes on at dances. I enjoyed myself when I went our dances, but it was a little awkward at times when my group was surrounded by people dirty dancing. Some of my friends just didn't want to deal with it all, so they just dressed up, went out to eat, and played games. They weren't shirking their responsibility, they just wanted innocent fun. Of course, I'm sure that some guys are just lazy, and it's too bad that the girls (or their fathers) didn't communicate their disappointment to their dates, but maybe the guys had other reasons for not attending. After all, going out to a fancy restaurant is still a date, even if a dance is on the same night.
15. Carrie (the original one) said the following at 5:47 AM on Nov 8:
I feel compelled to post because I saw my name in the comments when I was reading this post for the first time.
My initial gut reaction was to the dishonesty that is being addressed. A boy says they are going to do something and then they don't do it. This leaves a girl feeling like she did something wrong.
However, I read farmer Tom's comment, and I don't disagree with his reasoning.
I became a Christian when I was 15. I did my fair share of bumping and grinding at (Homecoming) dances. I dated a guy briefly when I was 14. I was talking with a friend yesterday and reflecting on how much fun I had when I was making out with him. I am seeing how hard it is to shut a door when it is opened. I've read plenty of articles and books and heard a fair share of sermons addressing purity. While I truly believe Christ has changed me, I can see how hard it is going to be to flee temptation because the door has been opened.
So, while I have fond memories of high school dances, I just don't see them as something a Christian ought to send their child into. It's really like sending the sheep in for the slaughter. Once doors are open, even in some small way, it is very hard to shut them.
16. Loris said the following at 7:19 AM on Nov 8:
I would have been very upset if I had been asked to an event, only to find out I'd be going to a friend's house after dinner instead. It wouldn't have been so much about missing the dance, per se, though I love to dance. When a girl spends 100+ dollars and several hours shopping for a sparkly dress for a dance, she wants to know that she will feel special and be treated chivalrously for an evening. In this casual era where people don't hold formal parties or dress for dinner, it's still a big deal when a girl gets to dress up and for most, there are very few occasions in her life when she will get to do so. High school prom, a college winter banquet, and her wedding. I would feel very cheated if I bought an expensive dress, spent a long time on my hair and makeup, bought my date a boutonniere...and played Catch Phrase all evening. A fancy supper would help-it would depend on the venue-but unless the young men went out of their way to make the evening special....
17. v@v said the following at 7:43 AM on Nov 8:
I'm thinking the parents should definitely take an active role in demanding their daughters be treated with respect, but as someone else posted -- the father's should model that for their daughters so that their daughters know what to expect and demand for themselves. I.E., this is how daddy treats me and mom -- so this is how I expect to be treated, at least, by a total stranger.
And, for the most part I have to agree with the school dances thing, but your children eventually have to make a decision. I went to my high school prom, with my Christian date, and I enjoyed an evening with my friends, got dressed up, etc., but did *not* dance, at all. I felt that this was not a time, or a place and that it would not be God honoring for me to do so. Not to mention, my own church custom at the time did not encourage this kind of behavior.
Which leads me to another question that seems to be very cultural -- as Christians, how do any of you feel about social dancing? This seems to be something in my circle that comes up alot, as for the most part, it is not condoned with many people I know. thoughts?
18. J.T. said the following at 8:04 AM on Nov 8:
I agree with Julie. Why do we encourage this sort of thing? I never went to any sort of dance in high school, but when I was a freshman in college, I took my girlfriend to her senior prom. Let me say as a college student, you have a different perspective on what is going on. There were several times that night that I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. By the way, I was not alone in my observations. I saw a couple of guys that I had graduated (high school) with, and we talked some that night. I don't know why kids in high school can't seem to get the fact that they are not mature enough for this sort of thing.
19. Adam Sloope said the following at 8:04 AM on Nov 8:
I ahve a friend who takes his daughters on mock dates and tells her that if any boy treats her less respectfully than he does then she should not date him. I think a great way to uphold a standard within dating relationships is to talk with children. Girls need to know they are to be respected and how that looks, the Father should show her what a man looks like and acts like. On the same note fathers should show their sons how to a man (not this masculine, ego driven stuff, but true maculinity, the kind Jesus has) Ultimatley our Father is Jesus and we are to act out what we have faith in and be obedient to Scripture and all the principles within. If we raise a child up in the way they should go, they will not depart from it (Prov 22:6). One of my favorite things to see is an older married couple and watch them hold hands and open doors for the woman. It's not old school, it's right.
20. Louise said the following at 8:24 AM on Nov 8:
This might be off-topic and irrelevant to this discussion, but it's possible even if the parents demanded the couple go to the dance, that might not have been possible had there been an advance purchase requirement for the dance tickets.
I'm not sure how that works....
21. DT said the following at 8:26 AM on Nov 8:
If my son ever tries to pull this, he'll sit in silence in his bedroom for the duration of the event. I know his Daddy won't let it get to this point, though. Sad.
22. Robert J Espe said the following at 10:09 AM on Nov 8:
I'm with Tom on this one. High school dances are no place for anybody. I went to one and it was horrible. I'm an avid folk, square, and swing dancer, but they don't dance at high school dances. Besides, dances should be community functions, not places for teens to escape from parents.
23. Lucie said the following at 10:18 AM on Nov 8:
When I read this article, I was appalled at both the writer/father and the boys in question. My own father would have never permitted such behavior, I'm sure, nor would his brother have, with his own two daughters. One of those parents should have said something, if only privately, to the young men in question. As to Candice's original question, "Why do women settle?" I think the author answered that one with his comment about the boys no doubt finding "easier girls," although I don't know that he meant it in the sexual sense in this case.
If parents won't stand up for their underage kids, who will?
24. Kit said the following at 10:40 AM on Nov 8:
I have seen a lot of posts regarding the parent's reaction: They should stand up for their girls. I want to ask, why did the girls not stand up for themselves?
It isn't the parent's place to get involved. If there is a problem in a relationship, you need to talk about it. Yourselves. And if you expect to be treated a certain way, you need to make that clear. Yourself.
25. Esther said the following at 11:23 AM on Nov 8:
I attended a private Christian school of a denomination that discourages dancing (of any kind). We still had formal events- several every year, we just called them banquets. Whether they were held in the dining hall or a fancy restaurant (Jr/Sr), it gave us something to look forward to, dress up for, ask/be asked as dates and have a good time. Usually there was some scheduled and supervised activity afterwards. I remember going bowling once, mini-golf another time (always entertaining in a gown), and my sisters have done dinner cruises, and seen a Riverdance show. Tickets were affordable, you could have a date or not, and pretty much everyone was there; alternate parties were not tolerated. Honestly, I had a great time, and didn't miss the "dancing" at all.
My mom was the one who argued that it seemed a waste to spend a lot of money on a dress "that you'll only wear once", but it was actually my dad who said that he thought it was important that we girls learn how to dress and behave in formal settings, and to 'know' that we are attractive and special (not trashy), and how better than to get dressed up and feel beautiful for a night. As an athlete and top student, it helped me to feel better about my 'feminine side' too. Oh, and one year I sewed my own formal gown- how's that for applying those "womanly skills"?
26. Loris said the following at 2:31 PM on Nov 8:
v@v asked how we feel about social dancing so I'm putting another two cents in. I LOVE dancing, but I make a huge distinction between the grinding at your average teen dance and "real" dancing. My definition of dancing requires about a half-hour of instruction in form and footwork for total beginners before the lights are dimmed. I'm passionate about ballroom dancing, like swing well enough, and even joined a medieval dance club at college. I think that basic ballroom dancing should be a part of everyone's social graces training. With ballroom dancing, it is not so much the footwork itself, but the emotional tone you and your partner chose to set that is important. Granted, some of the latin dances have sensual movements, but it is up the partners how to perform them...and the sexier moves are entirely optional and really only accessible to very advanced dancers. On the other hand, a basic foxtrot can be cheerily casual and a good opportunity to chat if you are dancing with someone you don't know well, or black-and-white-movie classicly romantic with your spouse. Ballroom dancing also maintains more of a comfort zone for the lady because her partner is generally at arm's length, though she can cuddle up if she wishes. Not to mention, she knows where his hands are at all times. His left hand is holding her right. His right hand is only allowed to be high on her left shoulder blade. At a high school dance, there is always the awkwardness and embarassment of wondering if your date is going to grind up against you.
And yes, young girls put up with this sort of thing because if they object, they won't get asked again.
27. Autumn said the following at 3:30 PM on Nov 8:
As a high school student who reads this blog on occasion, i thought i might give my opinion on this. i'm a senior, and last year i went to my first school dance, jr/sr prom. we have homecoming dances during football and basketball season, but they're not that big of a deal. no fancy dresses or decorations, just a dj in the cafeteria. so i never wasted my time with those, they have no redeeming quailities at all. but i did go to prom, and i had a great time. i got a GORGEOUS dress, my "date" was one of my guy friends, and we went with all of our other friends, some of whom were dating each other, but for the most part, we were just one big group.
i don't think that you should go as far as to say that you should never go to a high school dance at all. they can be fun, as long as you're smart about what you do and who you're with. instead of encouraging people my age to just stay at home, or "hang out", i think that responsible behavior at dances should be encouraged. i didn't bump or grind with anybody, i didn't go to a party and get drunk afterwards, and that is because my parents taught me to be responsible. they taught me to keep myself out of situations that weren't good, and they taught me integrity. maybe if more parents today would instill these values, it would be easier for their kids to act in a morally upright way in places where there are countless opportunities to sin.
28. Sara said the following at 6:39 PM on Nov 8:
Loris wrote,
"a basic foxtrot can be cheerily casual"
That's just how it is, fun! I think it's best when you're with people of all ages, like at a wedding. Not a room full of high school students 'grinding' alongside awkward chaperones, but a community celebration!
29. Caitlin said the following at 9:48 AM on Nov 9:
Did the boys in question see it as a date? Why did the girls allow themselves to be doormats?
The parents should have done something. Not at that moment but years before. They should have taught their daughters that respect is a key element in relationships. Dignity is worth more than a date. Quality is worth waiting for.
Many times, Christian girls feel like they are doing something "wrong" when they confront boys on issues like this. They are afraid of coming off as "too strong" or opening themselves up to being trampled on. There's nothing wrong with setting boundaries, rules, and voicing expectations before a date.
If the girls felt awkward about it, then yes, they should have talked to their parents and had their dad have a chat with the boys. But the groundwork for all of this should have been laid out years before the daughters were allowed to date.
30. Maria said the following at 11:22 AM on Nov 9:
This is more on the topic of proms, but... My homeschool group does a banquet every year with a formal dinner, honoring the seniors, desert, and then we do "old dancing". Such as the Virginia Reel, Soldier's Joy, the Spanish Waltz and others. It's clean, innocent fun and everybody enjoys it.
31. Alyss said the following at 12:02 AM on Nov 10:
I'm from suburban Detroit also, and noticed that this "alternative date-hangout" is becoming a popular trend at the local high schools (when I was there and for my younger siblings still in high school).
To be blunt, the only reason I remember groups skipping the actual dance was to do things that weren't permissable on school property (drinking, "hooking up", etc.).
My advice would be this: go with your gut feeling, if you feel something is awkward with the situation (as this father did), TALK to your kid and figure out if there is something else behind this...chances are, your daughter is feeling just as uncomfortable with the lack of respect they are recieving from their date as well, but she just needs someone to step in & justify those feelings...
32. Justice said the following at 12:49 AM on Nov 10:
I don't think it's a big deal at all.
I work at a restaurant where all the local kids come before and after their homecoming. Most of them go with their friends of the same sex, guys, girls, it doesn't matter, a lot of them do this. Don't blame it solely on the guys either, girls are not exactly easy to keep happy these days.
33. kaarina said the following at 9:33 AM on Nov 10:
I never went to any dances (I disdain the High School Culture, being removed from it) but my younger brother was asked by a friend of his to go to the prom. He, his "date", and several of his church friends (all girls) and their dates, went to dinner together, took photographs with each other and their parents, and went to the prom. They spent more time at the "after party" his date's parents were holding, climbing rock walls, drinking soft drinks and milkshakes, eating pizza, watching movies and talking, than they did "dancing" (though my brother did get dancing lessons from his youth minister to be prepared).
Considering we had to rent a tuxedo, buy corsages, pay for dinners at a fancy restaurant, and have money to pay for food at the after party, my younger brother spent a lot of money for one night of what he argued was great fun. But he was surrounded by his friends and their parents.
Perhaps if this man and his wife had been more involved from the outset his daughter could have enjoyed both the fancy occasion of dressing up and "hanging out" with her friends.
34. Holly T. said the following at 3:29 PM on Nov 10:
I went to a private highschool's homecoming dance last month. I had SO much fun! As a senior homeschooled since fourth grade, I decided that I was definitely going to at least one school dance this year. A good guy friend happened to ask me! I got to wear a gorgeous dress, have my hair professionally done, and dance!
Dads and moms: just teach your girls what's right and what's wrong, tell them to not set their expectations too high, and allow them to feel special and beautiful.
And that goes for the dates too. Make the girl feel special. You'll have fun, don't worry...she'll appreciate you and want to be with you. And have a good time with all your friends! That's what the dance is for. So go to it! You can go to a friend's house any Saturday.
35. Kellie said the following at 10:47 AM on Nov 11:
I don't really understand how the title of this blog corresponds with it's content. Seems to me that there was some poor parenting going on. Teenagers make bad decisions sometimes, that's why they should still be under the authority of their parents.
36. Leah said the following at 7:44 PM on Nov 11:
Julie- that's your experience. The dances I went to in high school (in Australia) weren't like that at all. Not to mention we only had dances in the junior high school grades (8-10), and these serious relationships didn't start springing up until grades 11-12. Just because you've seen it done badly doesn't mean everyone does it badly.
Kit- these are kids. No, they are not supposed to fix their problems themselves. What do you think parents are for?? Sure, if the girls had a problem with it, the certainly could have said something to their dates. But you can't exactly blame them and say parents should butt out! Sure I wouldn't have been happy with my Dad saying something due to the embarrasment factor, but you can't say it isn't the parents' place to get involved. On the contrary- that is exactly what parents are for.
As for school dances, like I said, the only one I went to was in junior, until my high school formal. And because it was a formal, we got taught formal dances, and then other partner dances (including progressive ones), like the Boston 2 step, a foxtrot (I think- heaps. We were taught over several weeks before the night, then on the night we got to perform the Pride of Erin for our parents etc, then when the formal part of the evening was over and our parents went home, we had dinner, then dnaced the night away, including the other partner dances we'd learnt, and then free/disco dancing. One of our greek teachers also taught us the Zorba on the night- it was one of the best nights EVER.
37. Christina said the following at 9:17 AM on Nov 12:
Wish schools would teach us how to dance these days...
I wonder if that's what High school formals were originally meant to be like. The oppurtunity to learn ballroom dancing, dress up and all that jazz. A real learning experience =p
I think of Grease when I think of how dancing has evolved from ballroom dancing to dirty dancing to whatever we call dancing now. I think that era was the real transitioning factor - but they all actually knew how to dance properly =p
38. Nicole said the following at 12:45 PM on Nov 12:
I have to agree with Kellie. High School girls are not "women". I'm failing to see the link between the overal concept of women "settling" and the content of this article.
39. Dustin said the following at 1:02 PM on Nov 13:
You know, I think it's good that this happened to this girl really, and I think it's a pretty cheap lesson. If she wanted to go to the dance, and if she knew this guy *wasn't* taking her to the dance (it said he didn't even buy tickets, in my day buying the tickets was kinda a couples thing) then she should have said, "I'd like to go to the dance, take me or I'll find someone who will."
In christian circles we always seem to blame the guy for the lack of leadership, but the girls seem to follow these confused men pretty readily.
40. christy said the following at 1:59 PM on Nov 14:
My homecoming was different. i just moved to Roseburg, OR from Muskogee, OK. I am a senior at RHS. My bofriend didn't want to go, but he had told me he would go to make me happy. So I bought his cloths, my dress, the tickets, his Oregon ID and everything else. Which I had no problem in doing. This was going to be my last Homecoming. So we go to the dance, we started to have a good time, then an half an hour after arriving, he wants to leave. I didn't. So he went outside and left me in the dance without a date. when I got him to come inside he just stood there. he made it well kown he didn't want to be there. so we had left within an hour of being there. I was so anrgy and heartbroken. I can't get my last homecoming back. I would of rather went alone, than to have a date.
41. Christine said the following at 2:27 PM on Nov 26:
Leah - I'm glad that your experience was more wholesome, but I'm inclined to believe that Julie's observations are pretty acturate for the US. I went to an urban high school (graduated back in 1999) and her description perfectly fit the few dances I went to and matched the descriptions I heard from friends who went to other area schools.