It's a Man's, Man's World. Or Not.
by Tom Neven on 10/17/2007 at 12:48 PM
Many years ago I was visiting an old high school friend. That evening for dinner his wife, a vegetarian, served us some sort of carrot-asparagus-cauliflower-eggplant soufflé. And while I'm sure it was really healthy, it suffered from one main defect: it contained not a single molecule of meat.
That would not do for two strapping young men like Rob and me -- I, a Marine, he, a lumberjack. We politely picked at the all-vegetable concoction for a bit before Rob stood up and, in an authoritative voice, said, "Honey, Tom and I are going out for a while," whereupon we sped as quickly as possible to the nearest Wendy's and ordered a triple.
That was more than 30 years ago, and yet I find that comical situation replicated in a recent TV commercial for Burger King. A man sits with a fabulously beautiful woman in a froufrou restaurant (and, yes, I realize that's the second time I've used froufrou in a week). He snaps, however, when his meal arrives -- an artfully arranged something-or-other that barely takes up a tenth of the plate's surface.
No, this will not do! The man jumps up and, in a send-up of the 1970s feminist anthem I Am Woman, sings, "I am man, hear me roar/In numbers too big to ignore/And I'm too hungry to settle for chick food." He barges out of the restaurant and, joined by various other manly men, orders a Burger King product so big it comes with instructions for the Heimlich maneuver.
OK, I laughed, and not just at the memory it evoked. The commercial is so over the top in its caricature of men that few can take it seriously. But it's part of a trend presently coursing through the culture: What does it mean to be a man?
It's the topic of everything from scholarly tomes, such as the book Manliness by Harvard professor Harvey Mansfield, to a silly primer on all things testosterone called The Alphabet of Manliness. But these relatively benign depictions of manliness pale in comparison to what can be found on cable networks such as Spike TV ("The First Network for Men") to G4 TV. Neutral fare such as "Star Trek" reruns mingles with "Beer Goggle Theater" and extreme fighting on Spike.
And then there is "The Man Show" on G4, which offers supposedly humorous segments such as "the ins and outs of shopping for porn at your local video store." "The Man Show" also features buxom dancers, called The Juggies, who cavort in bikinis and lingerie on a set that looks suspiciously like a strip club.
Aside from the more grotesque definitions of what it means to be a man found in these examples, I'm struck by the fact that so often they define manliness by what it's not -- that is, not female. (Marketing copy for The Alphabet of Manliness says, "It's so manly, even its sentences don't have periods!")
Where is the confident, positive portrayal of manhood? To my mind, it's pretty wimpy to say what you're not, strong and confident to say what you are. Yes, I realize a lot of this is a joke, but where is the portrayal of a real man, the guy who is not afraid to admit that sometimes he doesn't have it all together, doesn't know what that tool is for and -- gasp! -- he likes quiche? Or to cry? To be the example to and leader of our families, even if we often stumble in the role.
No, I still don't much care for vegetable soufflé, and I still love a big, juicy, medium-rare slab-o-meat at Outback. (My motto: If it doesn't go moo when you cut it, it's overcooked.) I hope, though, in the 30 or so years since that outing that at least one thing has changed about me: that I have become more closely conformed to the image of the Ultimate Man.
1. Michele said the following at 1:09 PM on Oct 17:
I'd argue that most of the portrayals of women are just as bad and off-kilter as those of men (I know less than a dozen women who regularly watch Oprah or Lifetime, and more than twice that are more likely to tune in to Spike). But that's neither here nor there :-)
I have been wondering for a long time where the portrayals of strong family men have gone. So many of the "fathers" on today's shows are stay-at-home dads who can't get anything right - and SuperMom always has to come in after a long day at the hospital or what have you and fix everything. Dad couldn't hack it.
Feminism's long-term effects are only now surfacing, but the biggest one is the continued degradation of the family, and of men overall.
2. Ethan C. said the following at 1:21 PM on Oct 17:
You're right that the popular image of masculinity has become cruder, and that it's taken on a certain "siege mentality" feel. I think a lot of it is in reaction to a perception that femininity has come to dominate our culture. But maybe some of it has to do with the rise in the cultural prominence of homosexual men.
Things that used to be available as potential signs of masculinity -- having good taste, dressing well, sexual restraint around women -- have become instead signals of potential gayness. And heterosexual men, no matter how progressive in their political opinions, don't want to seem gay.
So the signs of masculinity have become fewer, cruder, and more obvious.
3. Carrie said the following at 2:08 PM on Oct 17:
"chick food" that is the second time in the roughly 30 hours that I have heard that term!! I NEVER heard that before lunch yesterday.
A co-worker was explaining that her husband doesn't like to eat at Panera (a.k.a St. Louis Bread Co. or Atlanta Bread Co.) because it serves "girlie food". I laughed and said "What on earth is 'girlie food'?". My (male) boss said (before my question) "Yeah, I can understand that".
I'm very confused. I can down a burger with the best of 'em, but how is some food "girlie". It is FOOD! "Get in my bellie!" (in the words of F.B. from the movie "Austin Powers")
4. Adam said the following at 2:55 PM on Oct 17:
I thought the recent blockbuster hit 300 displayed some pretty manly men with the Spartans.
5. Chantell said the following at 3:13 PM on Oct 17:
Ethan, you make some incisive observations. It seems that the stereotypical signals of homosexuality have obscured the meaning of masculinity. I've seen it happen to male friends of mine who've had to face questions, both direct and in the form of hidden gossip, regarding their sexuality because they behaved with class and sexual restraint.
Lord, have mercy! Don't allow the Man Show to define masculinity!
6. Gina said the following at 5:17 PM on Oct 17:
Adam -- well, but you had that whole "ditch all the deformed babies" thing right at the beginning (I was watching a RiffTrax commentary with the film that made a big deal out of this, as it should have) that kind of mars the manly image.
7. DannieA said the following at 7:02 PM on Oct 17:
And when did eating healthy or vegetarian like become "un-manly". Just look at what Dr.'s say is the first to go when one is facing high cholestoral (sp)?
no red meat
more greens
unless dying of a heart attack is manly, then I don't know why all the unnecessary attack on food is.
8. farmer Tom said the following at 7:16 PM on Oct 17:
No, I still don't much care for vegetable soufflé, and I still love a big, juicy, medium-rare slab-o-meat at Outback. (My motto: If it doesn't go moo when you cut it, it's overcooked.)
As someone who makes his living raising that beef you so enjoy let me say a hearty, Thank You and AMEN.
I would say though that I prefer my beef cooked. If it's still bleeding I shoot it again. I have a friend, who likes his to have just stopped quivering, still warm. To each his own, only,
Eat Beef, It's What's For Dinner!!
And my favorite,
Beef, Because the West Wasn't Won on Salad!!
And one for you chicken eaters,
Chicken, What Picked Through, What the Cattle Left Behind !!
one more, I LOVE Cats, Taste Just Like Chicken
9. Gene said the following at 9:04 PM on Oct 17:
Did man claw his way to the top of the food chain just to eat soy?
10. Chuck said the following at 9:26 PM on Oct 17:
I'm glad you mentioned Harvey Mansfield's book: Manliness. I have been studying it a long time (I'm slow) and I think it answers your questions about today's man. Read the book again, carefully. Page 230 (hard bound) " The entire enterprise of modernity, however, could be understood as a project to keep manliness unemployed. The goal of modern liberalism was the rational state, a state that completed the long-standing attempt at the rational control of nature and human life that began with Machiavelli and culminated with Hegel." Every Christian man with the intelligence to understand this book could profit from studying it.
11. Oxanna said the following at 9:33 PM on Oct 17:
Ethan C wrote: Things that used to be available as potential signs of masculinity -- having good taste, dressing well, sexual restraint around women -- have become instead signals of potential gayness.
Thank you for pointing this out. I think most women appreciate a well dressed man, but dressing well is now considered "gay". I fully understand anyone's desire not to wear a tie, but wrinkles and poor taste do not a man make. A well-rounded man would understand that he can get dirty, but he needs to clean up, too. A matter of respect (and taste), I think.
12. Adam said the following at 9:59 PM on Oct 17:
Gina - Yeah that's kinda true, but the old Sparta had somewhat logical reasons to accept only the best straight from birth, due to their large slave population they kept control over. But yea, I mean they weren't perfect examples or anything, but they were definitely manly in regards to shear courage, honor, and respect amongst themselves. I dunno what it was specifically but watching that movie and seeing guys like that really woke something up in me by the way they were portrayed, even if the movie was just a fantasy based off a comic.
13. John D. said the following at 6:14 AM on Oct 18:
Beef provides protein, creatine, B-vitamins and iron, among other things. It's health food.
Cat isn't as good unless you put lots of catsup on it. (Sorry.)
14. Louise said the following at 7:27 AM on Oct 18:
This post is interesting in light of the "porn star" discussion re obligations to follow a healthy diet and exericise regimen.
IMO the Burger King clip is funny.
Moderation is the key folks.
Meat is good (I enjoy eating it) but an occasional vegetarian meal is not only good for the health but the wallet too.
15. Carrie said the following at 8:23 AM on Oct 18:
I'm in agreement with Louise, here. Sourdough breadbowls w/ soup from Panera have a special place in my heart, but there isn't much that can top a good homemade hamburger.
I have no desire to go vegeterian or vegan for the following reasons
(1) If God doesn't want us to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?
(2) He told Peter to kill and eat
(3) If we aren't supposed to eat meat, why does it taste so good?
(4) I'm a card carrying member of PETA -- People Eating Tasty Animals
16. Robert J Espe said the following at 8:34 AM on Oct 18:
And I have to point out in relation to DannieA's comment the actaul first thing to go from eating to much meat. There's nothing manly about Erectile Dysfunction.
As for media portrayals of manly men, seasons of the the Waltons can be got on DVD pretty cheap and I'm going to reference the magnificent 7 again. The professional gunfighter Bernardo dies saving a couple of boys who foolishly run into a firezone. The same boys he tells earlier in the movie that their parents (who betrayed their resistance) were braver than he was because they had families.
Also, as long as we are talking about fictional classical heroes, I prefer Illiad's Hector (well portrayed in Troy, another movie that earned its R rating). Father, Husband, does everything right and dies protecting people weaker than himself. Step up from the baby killers in Sparta. Course the US kills more kids in a year than Sparta did in history, most of ours aren't even deformed, just poorly timed...
17. NeedACatchyName said the following at 9:26 AM on Oct 18:
Girlie food seems to be a concept that men just inherently understand. I think there's a detector for it built into the Y-chromosome. I know in my circle of friends there are certain places that us guys just automatically don't like and the girls can't fathom why we don't like it. :) Generally speaking, however, there are a few hints that a restaurant serves "girlie food:"
1) If a restaurant has more of an emphasis on the decor and "presentation" of the food rather than the quantity/quality, it's girlie food (this is the number one sign of girlie food)
2) If a restaurant specializes in smaller portions or vegetarian dishes, then it's probably girlie food.
3) Anything with cottage cheese is automatically girlie food. Likewise, chicken wings are automatically man food.
(note: the above post is not intended to be taken too seriously) :)
18. Tami said the following at 10:52 AM on Oct 18:
I'm cracking up to myself here, envisioning God placing labels on food:
"Brie? First off, it's a soft cheese. And, it's French. Totally girly. Likewise lettuce. It's all curly. Now the potato. That's a man's vegetal item."
:)
19. Rachel said the following at 11:13 AM on Oct 18:
I completely agree that today's definitions of 'manliness' messes up our culture. I have male friends who have been labelled as 'more girly' than me, simply because I like steroetypically male things such as video games, paintball, venison, action movies, science fiction, math, science, etc, and they'd rather take ballroom dance classes or go see a play or cook a fancy dinner. I think it's really harmful to the self-worth of both the girls who are considered 'manly' and the guys who are considered 'girly', because it's telling them that they're not adequate, or implies that they're homosexual, or carries some other negative connotation.
20. Sara said the following at 12:33 PM on Oct 18:
Why is it all the things that shorten lives and weaken bodies--alcohol, lots of red meat, smoking--are considered manly? What's so 'manly' about shortsightedness?
About your arguments, Carrie,
You say, 'If God doesn't want us to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?' , and 'we should eat meat because it tastes so good', we humans are made out of meat, too, and I hear human flesh tastes like pork. Are those good reasons for cannabalism?
21. Sara said the following at 12:41 PM on Oct 18:
The difference between eating a delicate vegetarian meal, and a burger at Arby's, in minimal when compared to a 'truly' primal meal, of say, shooting something in a field out your truck window, gutting it, and getting down on all fours adn knawing at bloody tendons. But that would be ludicrous. Does anyone actually think that eating a pre-killed, pre-packaged, washed and cooked and nicely served steak is in any way 'manly'? And if it isn't, does it really matter?
22. farmer Tom said the following at 9:07 PM on Oct 18:
Sara, I take it you consider my profession to be a little above Satan himself, right?
I wonder, have you ever actually read what the Bible says about your diet?
Maybe you consider yourself without sin, but the rest of us who are fallen sinful creatures are living by the rules God gave us.
Maybe you need to eat some meat so you can get a sense of humor.
23. Carrie said the following at 7:20 AM on Oct 19:
Sara, first of all, certain types of alcohol in moderation is actually good for you. Second, in your second post the "primal" situation you described is hyperbole. If you want to get to a truly primal state, you would need to start before the wheel was invented. There are people in this world who go out, hunt, and bring back the kill. I've heard you can't go wrong with fresh venicin.
Now to address the cannibalism issue. There is a difference between humans and animals, lest we forget the account of creation in the first chapter of Genesis. What's the difference that's stated in Genesis? Adam and Eve were created in the image of God. Adam and Eve were given dominion over the rest of creation. Humans have souls, animals don't.
So, no, I don't advocate cannabalism because I don't advocate killing image bearers of the Triune Godhead.
24. Sara said the following at 8:44 AM on Oct 19:
farmer tom, I live on a farm and I eat meat. Maybe I wasn't clear: my point about Carrie's post was that it wasn't logical (though I see I probably should have taken her points with a grain of salt); and I wasn't saying that eating meat is wrong, just that there's nothing particularly 'manly' about it.
For what it's worth, my ethics concerning meat-eating is that it's only OK if the animal had a decent life while it was alive. I don't, for example, eat meat from animals raised in small pens: pigs from big hog barns who aren't given straw to bed with, or soil to root around in, for example.
And I still hold that eating very much red meat is unhealthy - it's just that I enjoy meat enough that I consider it a worthwhile trade-off.
In any case, I admire people like St. Francis who choose not to eat meat in an effort to cultivate gentleness--I know killing--for food or otherwise--is natural for many animals, but the gentleness of people who, for example, are careful even to avoid stepping on insects, is touching.