Young Adults Leaving the Faith
by
Suzanne Hadley
on Sep 6, 2007 at 3:05 PM
When I created this post last fall, I wrote: "Abandoning the church equates to divorcing Christ." I realized it was a strong statement, but it is one for which I continue to see biblical support. I believe our generation needs to take notice of the things that Christ established as priorities. The church is clearly one of them.
In an ongoing discussion about young adults leaving Christianity, the Barna Research Group reports this week that "despite strong levels of spiritual activity during the teen years, most twentysomethings disengage from active participation in the Christian faith during their young adult years."
The report states that six out of 10 twentysomethings involved in a church during their teens fail to actively pursue Christ into their early adult years. Not only are twentysomethings vacating the church, the report states, they are also not returning. I find this trend, as well as the attitude behind it, disturbing:
Loyalty to congregations is one of the casualties of young adulthood: twentysomethings were nearly 70% more likely than older adults to strongly assert that if they "cannot find a local church that will help them become more like Christ, then they will find people and groups that will, and connect with them instead of a local church." They are also significantly less likely to believe that "a person's faith in God is meant to be developed by involvement in a local church."
While churches may be partially to blame for failing to retain young adults, young adults themselves are also guilty. Jesus loves the church. Ephesians 5 informs us that Christ intimately loves and cares for the church; He has chosen her as His bride -- His partner. ("This is a great mystery," Paul says.) Spiritual gifts are meant to be exercised to strengthen the church (1 Corinthians 14). Abandoning the church equates to divorcing Christ. This statement may sound inflammatory, but the privatization of faith -- the idea that I can be a Christ follower free from the accountability of a body of believers -- is not a biblical concept.
And the fallout is evident. Recognizing the damage has already been done in the current twentysomething generation, David Kinnaman, the director of the research, suggests focusing efforts on teens. Speaking of strategies churches need to employ, he says:
Another shift, is to develop teenagers' ability to think and process the complexities of life from a biblical viewpoint. This is not so much about having the right head knowledge as it is about helping teens respond to situations and decisions in light of God's principles for life.
Perhaps it's not too late for twentysomethings to do the same -- within the context of the church.
1. Simon had the following to say on Sep 6 at 3:18 PM:
The Bible speaks of "the church"... but what does "the church" mean? Doesn't it mean the body of all believers, not any particular congregation? (In my case, I stopped attending church regularly but still attend fellowship activities.) Perhaps you could clarify this distinction between "a church" and "the church"? What does "within the context of the church" mean?
Meanwhile, I've come to the realization that going to church hasn't done much to prepare me to respond to situations and decisions, or if it has in the past, it no longer does. That is one of the reasons I decided to take a leave from attending church. However, other believers individually have done a great deal to help me make the right decisions.
2. Laura had the following to say on Sep 6 at 5:40 PM:
I lost interest in church when I went away to a secular university. Upon graduation I began a career and continued my church, spirtual, and religious absence. This lasted for several years but in 2006 I moved to a new city and for some reason decided to attend church again. I should be happy but I've never felt so alone and unhappy in my life. I can see why young people leave the faith.
3. Mearrha Manoly had the following to say on Sep 6 at 6:04 PM:
Its really sad to see so may young adults leave the church. I agree completely with this article. There so many things that God can do through these young Men and Women. They say that they hear God, but the reality is that they're not listening to him. There is a difference.
4. Ken Bergmann had the following to say on Sep 6 at 6:11 PM:
At first blush, the conclusions seem fair, but something nagged at me about such hasty commentary. The bit in study about: if they "cannot find a local church that will help them become more like Christ, then they will find people and groups that will, and connect with them instead of a local church." holds the key to my concern. Who is to say that the people and groups that hold them accountable don't constitute their church? To be a real church do you have to have a building or a 501(c)(3)? Can't your "church" be the people you grow, learn, and worship with? It seems to me the issue is that by not leading the twentysomethings and accommodating their wider view of what church can be we lose our ability to reach the even younger generations. After all, we tend to learn best from people just a little older than us, not generationally older. Maybe if we were more tolerant of the idea that your church can be what you make it, they'll be more comfortable acknowledging that we all need leadership and organization too.
5. brx had the following to say on Sep 6 at 6:53 PM:
Suzanne,
I think you've got some good points. I also think you might be making some assumptions with your definition of "the church".
The way I understand it, those who "strongly assert that if they "cannot find a local church that will help them become more like Christ, then they will find people and groups that will, and connect with them instead of a local church."" -- those folks, when gathering regularly, DO constitute part of Christ's Church. And, they can be called a 'local church' as they implement the 3 marks of the Church.
Maybe it would help avoid confusion if we differentiated between the Biblical global Church, which is the bride of Christ, and a local congregation, which is more akin to being a part of the bride - the body of Christ. Just as each person is merely a part of the body, so a local congregation is only part of the whole Church.
I work with college students/young adults and I see a great passion in many of them for seeking Christ, being on mission, and impacting the world - that His Kingdom may come and be seen in this lifetime (Lord's prayer). The Church is a living, breathing, growing, thing, alive and moving according to the Holy Spirit. I think maybe these young people who are leaving some of these congregations are leaving essentially, because they are stifled by the inflexibility of old wineskins and shrunken garmets (NOT that this is every case). If their current congregation is incapable of stretching and holding during the fermentation of the new generation, then perhaps it is best -and to God's glory- that they fill a new wineskin rather than burst the old and ruin much. Mark 2:21~22
Many young adults are reading their Bibles and rethinking what they've been told about church vs what they see in the Bible. [Following are some general concepts and not accusations] They might see some local congregations as bloated organizations that feed themselves by promoting program after program and cookie-cutter solutions to the happy Christian life. There are a lot of buzz-concepts going around in the young generation and I don't have time to explain them, but I think they're relevant: being the church vs going to church, missional, on-mission, Kingdom mindset, authentic community, deep relationships, relevant, emergent, emerging worship, worship as a life-style vs singing to music, global steward, community group, home church network, Church unity, welcoming the stranger, loving your neighbor, and loving your enemy. Some influential pastors/authors are Don Miller, Rob Bell, Dan Kimball, Brian McLaren, and Reggie McNeal.
Since you mentioned "divorcing Christ" I figure this is worth going into... I read Josh Harris' Stop Dating the Church because I'd hoped it would help me understand how to deal with things I've seen happening in the churches in my local area area, including my own. I was dissapointed and confused and hurt. First, I was disappointed by Harris' lack of Biblical references to back up his assertions (so, really, I should not have taken it as seriously as I did) I was confused because Harris asserted that we should be very loyal to our local congregation and leaders though, he gives very little guidance for dealing with the realities that pastors and leaders are NOT perfect and they can make very hurtful mistakes - and they don't always repent and appologize when confronted. I was hurt because Harris' assertion that the local church is the bride of Christ implies that leaving a local church is sinful as divorce. -- and I believed it because emotionally, it felt as I imagine a divorce would feel after one has spent so many years developing and intimate relationship.
Well, now I realize that's a LIE designed to lay a guilt trip! As believers in Christ, we are saved and betrothed to Christ, NOT the local church congregation. By being followers of Christ, we inherently become part of His Church. Making a commitment of any depth to a local congregation is NOT a Biblical marriage to that congregation. Believers follow Christ, not a local congregation. So, you don't need to feel guilty if you think you're being called in some direction other than that which your local congregation is going.
I really like the term Humble Orthodoxy and concept and on that point of being married to the local church, I must humbly disagree with Harris.
[sorry that was so long; I'm passionate on these issues because I've need many young Christians hurt over them]
6. Dawnson had the following to say on Sep 7 at 12:26 AM:
I very much agree with Simon. There is a big difference between the Church (God's people), and the Church (our culture's way of organizing). I've been accused of rejecting what Christ loves, the Church. What I reject is what church has become, the method not the people. I love the Church (people) too much to sit by while the Church (organization) does damage to them. That's the tip of the iceberg of why I stopped attending several years ago.
7. Patricia had the following to say on Sep 7 at 5:47 AM:
I see the Church as extremely important, and the older I get the more important it seems. I believe that the Church will be the New Jerusalem and we are designed as believers to be in community with other believers. And I don't think being part of a local community is enough-we need to learn from brothers and sisters in other parts of the world who have wisdom and knowledge beyond our culture. I personally see the reluctance to join a church part of the American individualistic culture. Christ loved the Church and died for it. And yes, no church is perfect BUT if we love God then we should love the Church. If a church doesn't help someone become like Christ, they should talk to the Pastors and try to initiate some sort of Bible study, prayer group, etc that will meet their needs. I am sure most pastors would be thrilled at people taking initiative.
8. dana111 had the following to say on Sep 7 at 6:56 AM:
Sorry, but I stopped attending regular "church" services about 6 months ago. I don't think that being a Christian automatically demands you to adhere to the rules and regulations of a particular building. Yes, fellowship is a great thing, but if we believe that we can only experience real fellowship within the boundaries of four walls and a ceiling, we are missing something in our walk with God (like, we should be walking with Him, not burying ourselves within a building in order to feel safe.) I have no problem with Christians joining a particular denomination or congregation, I just don't believe that the decision is a cut and dry as a lot of Christians think.
9. Jacob had the following to say on Sep 7 at 9:04 AM:
Ken and BRX,
"To those in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints." Romans 1:7
"To the church of God that is in Corinth" 1 Corinthians 1:2
"To the church of God that is at Corinth, with all the saints who are in the whole of Achaia" 2 Corinthians 1:1
"To the churches of Galatia" Galatians 1:2
"To the saints who are in Ephesus" Ephesians 1:1
"To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are at Philippi, with overseers and deacons" Philippians 1:1
"To the saints and faithful brothers in Christ at Colossae" Colossians 1:2
"To the church of the Thessalonians" 1 Thessalonians 1:1
"To the church of the Thessalonians" 2 Thessalonians 1:1
I think the Bible refers to local congreatations as churches.
Further, it's not your life. You don't get to decide how you want to live. The Bible decides that. Frankly, I think a lot of this "young people don't fit in to church these days" is often just a smoke-screen or code phrase for "I don't like how they do things, therefore I'm going to go off over here and do whatever the heck I want and poopoo on you for insisting that I need oversight and accountability." You're not talking about church, you're talking about Burger King: Have it your way. All christians are to be under spiritual authority of pastors, elders and overseers, and are to be accountable to the whole church of God. How are you going to be under authority or held accountable unless you are committed to a local congregation? This isn't about you and what you want. It's about what God has called us to.
I realize that I am sounding very "hateful" and "mean-spirited" and I cannot control how others take what I say. However, there is a lot of spiritual immaturity among many of my peers and it has lead to a lot of wrong-headed notions about the nature of the church (universal and local). I really do what the best for you and I think you are going down a path that will only harm your spiritual maturity.
10. Mike Maroney had the following to say on Sep 7 at 9:52 AM:
I am reading in the other comments alot of complaints towards the organized church. Many twentysomethings see the problems of the church and ask why they are there. There are many reasons, or excuses, why the organized church has problems. Instead of complaining about the church by saying the church doesn't do what it is supposed to do and then leaving the church, why not stay commited to the church and become a solution to the "problems" of the church. A long term commitment to the local church will prove to other believers in the local church that you are there to be a help to the church, and then they will listen and give attention to your solutions.
11. Seth had the following to say on Sep 7 at 10:57 AM:
I think y'all need to show Suzanne a little bit more love, guys and gals...
I really appreciate your post, Suzanne, and I believe the local church is crucial to our spiritual development. We need accountability and fellowship.
From my own studies in scripture I tend to see most references of the church being the local body. Sure, all churches make up the bride of Christ, but it is a wee bit difficult to be accountable to a nebulous, undefined "thing". We need tangible love and face-to-face interaction.
I don't think Suzanne is saying that if you stop going to one church and join another one you have divorced the church (correct me if I'm wrong). The divorce occurs when one abandons all churches and tries to worship God alone. Hebrews 10:24-25 explains it well, "And let us consider one another, to incitement of love and of good works, not forsaking the assembling together of ourselves, as is the custom of some, but exhorting, and by so much more as you see the Day drawing near (LITV)."
Churches are made up of imperfect people. We should look for a church that preaches God's Word, promotes evangelism and has a loving and warm environment. Beyond that, our focus ought to be what we can do for our church.
12. Elaine had the following to say on Sep 7 at 11:59 AM:
Mike Maroney:
I agree with your comments and Jacob's posting earling about submitting to authority in church. However, the real reason why I believe that young adults leave churches is partly due to a lack of real discipleship, at home and in the body of Christ. Disciples know Christ as their Saviour and LORD. Disciples choose to submit to Christ's Lordship discipline, teaching, and principles in their lives.
13. Patricia had the following to say on Sep 7 at 12:29 PM:
I agree with Mike and Jacob... to be honest, in my experience in leading various ministries, it's the same people who complain the most who often don't help out. Rather than complain, be proactive. Of course there can be fellowship without a church. But I think having unity with believers globally is absolutely essentially to gaining a Christian perspective. As Christians, our primary identit is not as Americans or single young adults, men, women, etcbut as members of the body of Christ. By just fellowhsiping with people locally, you cut yourself off from believers worldwide. Sure, the church as problems. But that is because of sin and brokenness. To be a force for positive change, you have to first beome invovled. And again, in Revelation the Church is depicted as a holy bride so one day it will be redeemed entirely.
14. brx had the following to say on Sep 7 at 2:05 PM:
Jacob,
Whoa, I didn't say anything against healthy Christian oversight and accountability. I'm all for it - a strong proponent of the teaching of sound doctrine from the Bible, righteous administration of sacraments, and discipleship (the 3 marks of the Church). I'm merely pointing out that God has a big plan and it doesn't all revolve around the one local church congregation at maple and 3rd street. I have nothing against the local church congregation at maple and 3rd. However, I do realize that not all appendages of the bride of Christ will necessarily look like the one at maple and 3rd meeting on Sunday mornings. One might be a group of 20 people meeting on Wednesdays with a pastor at the house on 8th street while another meets in an art gallery on Sunday evenings after a potluck dinner. Calling it "Burger King" is sinful judgement because you are assuming that these gatherings are selfish and providing poor quality nourishment. How about considering they might be more like different cuisines, each still providing a Godly, well-balanced meal and welcoming strangers.
It was Jesus who brought up the application of the new and old wineskins teaching to the good synagogue-goers. - and it's repeated the same way in three of the four Gospels, which makes me think it's important.
Prov 22:6 says train/start a child in the way _he_ should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. It doesn't say train him in the way _you_ should go, but the way _he_ should go - with his unique abilities, gifts, and calling.
Mike Moroney,
I agree - being committed and being a solution to problems for a local congregation is a great thing! On the flip-side, maybe the "problems" are not really problems in that congregation? Maybe God's will is for some of these people to join or launch a new church congregation or ministry that will be growing the Kingdom to reach others who would not be reached by the target market of the congregation at maple and 3rd.
[Wow, I wonder if my calling has something to do with being a church/ministry development analyst because I find this stuff very interesting...]
Dan Kimball wrote a couple of general letters after hearing many stories of emmotionally painful struggles between many church leaders. One is addressed to senior pastors/leaders and the other to young generation pastors/leaders. I think they are very insightful and encouraging. I hope you take a look at:
A plea to senior pastors
http://www.vintagefaith.com/Append%20A%20-%20A%20plea%20to%20senior%20pastors.pdf
A plea to emerging leaders
http://www.vintagefaith.com/Appendix%20B%20a%20plea%20to%20emerging%20leaders.pdf
15. brx had the following to say on Sep 7 at 2:39 PM:
Laura,
I assume someone from Boundless has contacted you directly already. But if not, please talk with your local church discipleship pastor or consider calling the Focus on the Family counseling line for advice. There are warm & friendly followers of Christ out there who would love to have you as part of their intimate and authentic community!
I hope you keep reaching out and seeking to make friends.
God speed!
16. Suzanne had the following to say on Sep 7 at 2:43 PM:
Thank you, Seth (and everyone), for your imput. I appreciate all these perspectives and I am not saying that those who feel led to leave a particular church because it is not living out biblical principles are divorcing Christ. I am talking about the overall rejection of church as part of the Christian life. George Barna deals with it extensively in his book "Revolution." He claims that within the space of 20 years (as Baby Boomers lose their grip on the church) Christians will cease attending formalized congregations in favor of "pods" that meet in homes.
I have no problem with the breaking down of man-made institutions. The problem I do have is the abandonment of the biblical specifications for churches. Many of the duties of the church require organized "bodies" of people to accomplish them. Romans and Titus both contain a lot of inspired instructions for the church. When these are ignored, the church ceases to be the church.
17. Jacob had the following to say on Sep 7 at 3:17 PM:
BRX,
I'm sorry for putting words into your mouth. I would agree with what you said in your latest comment. Thank you for clarifying yourself for me.
18. brx had the following to say on Sep 8 at 11:16 PM:
Suzanne, thanks for your clarification. I would hazard to say that a lot of these folks who say they object to "organized church" or more broadly, "organized religion" are often times having trouble articulating exactly what their concerns are and finding church leaders who will really listen to them. Thus, they often chalk their frustration up to organizational & bureaucracy issues in the local congregation. Also, both old and young can have difficulty seeing and recognizing the Church in all her forms.
As I've witnessed a few generations of Christian students growing through highschool to college to adults, I've come to liken the relational issues between leadership generations in the local congregations, to the relationship issues that can often occur between parents and their children as they grow from teenagers to college students to adults, with increasing independence all along the way. Sometimes it's a harmonious relationship... and sometimes the youngers are rebellious and disrespectful -- and sometimes parents are pridefully stubborn, inflexible, and/or unlistening. Healthy intergenerational relationships in the local church congregation are very important but it seems equally difficult as getting singles and marrieds to have close friendships. :)
Regarding George Barna's assertion of what will happen with the general Church over the next 20 years, Dr. Reggie McNeal thinks it's going to happen much faster, like in 5~8 years. If anyone interested in this stuff is near the California Silicon Valley area, Reggie McNeal will be giving a full-day seminar regarding the changing shape of the church in the 21st century for church leaders and lay persons, Fri & Sat October 5, 6th, hosted by Sunnyvale Presbyterian Church. It's offered for free because they see this stuff as crucial to the continuing vitality of the church in North America. Check:
http://www.svpc.us/reggie_mcneal.html
[no, I don't attend SVPC; I'm traveling to hear this]
19. Seekthetruth had the following to say on Nov 11 at 9:45 AM:
You are missing the point. Church is not something we do. We are the church! The church is inside of every Christian. The bible says the church is not made by the hands of man.There is no biblical support for church as we know it today.There is support for fellowship which can take many forms.
Willow Creek Mega Church just did a recent study and found that the majority of people that are leaving the church besides young people are the most mature Christ centered Christians!
The irony is that in China where there are no traditional churches and where Christians face arrest and persecution, Christianity is flourishing.1 million to 80 million in the last fifty years while Christianity was outlawed! Christians there have no formal clergy and meet in houses or caves.If they are caught they are arrested and tortured.
In our rich western culture Christianity is dying out because unlike the Chinese Christians who are commited disciples of Christ,western Christians are taught to be good church members rather than disciples of Christ with results in a fast food christianity with no substance.
Mainstream churches are mostly to blame with their membership drive to fill the pews rather than fill the hearts of new believers with the true love of Christ.The result is no transformation and no commitment.
In the end the young and the most commited Christians see the hypocricy and leave looking for a more intimate relationship with God
Seek
20. Ted Slater had the following to say on Nov 11 at 3:14 PM:
Seekthetruth -- I'm not sure what your motivations for posting are. You're free -- in fact, encouraged -- to join the conversation. But in this specific instance, I'm not sure what you intend to accomplish in your comment. Surely you are not encouraging Christians to leave churches and stop fellowshiping?
First, in most situations, we both *are* the church and *attend* church. The word "church" means both the body of Christ on earth (in which case we "are" the church) and it means the place where we gather with others to worship the Lord corporately, hear the Word preached by pastors/elders, enjoy fellowship, and so on.
I frankly find it unhelpful to discourage church attendance because "we are the church."
Yes, mature Christ-centered Christians are leaving Willow Creek Church. The thing is, they're going to other churches, for a variety of reasons.
You say that Chinese churches have "no formal clergy." In many cases this is true -- undiscipled Christians are heading up small gatherings, such as house churches. But in other cases, those with a formal Christian education are indeed heading up congregations of various sizes.
I agree with you that many mainstream churches are more eager to "fill the pews" than disciple members. My church, I'm grateful to say, is the latter.
May those Christians disillusioned with church be encouraged to continue seeking out a good fellowship under mature leadership. I found it back in Virginia, and I found it here in Colorado. Being the church, and being a member of a great church, has been a blessing and gives me opportunities to be a blessing.
(I acknowledge that there are exceptions where there are no biblical churches in a particular locale. In these cases, a house church would be a great option for you! I have no doubt that the Lord loves house churches!)
21. Leah had the following to say on Nov 11 at 11:29 PM:
I think people who stop attending church simply because it doesn't do for them what they want it to do are selfish.
I think people who stop attending church because they think it is doing something unbiblical are lazy- there are dozens of different churches around, people. If you feel the one you are at is damaging people or is being unbiblical, find another one. You can't say "the church is bad because x y z". Because there are so many different types of churches, and they don't all have those same faults!
I agree with Seth when he says I don't think Suzanne is saying that if you stop going to one church and join another one you have divorced the church (correct me if I'm wrong). The divorce occurs when one abandons all churches and tries to worship God alone. You can try arguing that you don't need a church to be a successful Christian, but I'll tell you now, every single Christian friend of mine who has left my church and not engaged in another has gone off the rails. Not to mention, there is no arguing with the bible... which clearly states we must be going to church! (I am not dictating a particular type or structure of church. The Chinese home churches are just as valid as Willow Creek Mega Church). Paul gives so many exhortations to meet with fellow believers to worship and teach and learn, and so many rules on how such meetings should be conducted, that it would be foolish to say we don't need to attend such meetings.
22. Laura Martin had the following to say on Mar 22 at 10:45 PM:
I remember being active in church as a high schooler. I also remember the youth pastor expecting us kids to lead our own bible studies and mentor ourselves. The youth pastor's focus was on getting bodies into the church so he could meet his quota and say he was saving people. Funny thing is, none of those people he "saved" are Christians today. Maybe if the youth pastors actually cared about mentoring ALL of their congregants, instead of just evangelism, then 20 somethings would want to be part of the church.
Also, a lot of today's churches are just plain BS. I think they are out of touch with the problems facing real people today. My church is at the beach with God, my bible, and the waves.