Saying No to Sleaze
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 09/27/2007 at 9:34 AM
In "The Rise of Raunch," T. Suzanne Eller considers the loss of decency in a generation of young women immersed in a hypersexed culture. She writes:
On a recent Oprah Winfrey Show, the popular host spent an entire hour discussing the "culture of raunch," the increasing vulgarity permeating our media, fashion, and celebrity culture. One of her guests was Ariel Levy, author of Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture. Levy, 30, prompted a national debate when she concluded in her book that by exploiting themselves, women have become, in essence, female chauvinists.
"Only 30 years ago, our mothers were supposedly burning their bras and picketing Playboy, and suddenly we were getting breast implants and wearing the bunny logo as symbols of our liberation," Levy wrote in a 2006 op-ed piece published in the Sydney Morning Herald. "How has the culture shifted so drastically in such a short time?"
That's a great question. Today's average 14 to 16 year old is familiar with sexual innuendo and with a woman's body being used to promote an image. She knows what oral sex and STDs are. Her celebrities -- the Paris Hiltons, Britney Spears, and Lindsey Lohans -- flash flesh and cash, and have sex with little or no consequences. On average, she watches 15 hours of television a week, following programs such as Desperate Housewives.
Eller points out that even those in their 30s are prime targets for shows like Grey's Anatomy. "Do we stop to question the message behind the entertainment?" she asks. Not as much as we should, I'm guessing, judging by the number of my Christian friends who can tell me the latest on Meredith and Dr. McDreamy. Television offers an escape from reality in the form of living vicariously through made-up people. When those escapes are marked by sexual escapades and shockingly sleazy behavior, we open our minds and hearts to decidedly anti-biblical values. Eller offers this advice:
Whatever the root cause, our response can't be one of fear. Isolating ourselves from our culture isn't reasonable or responsible. Here's our opportunity to assert the view that being raunchy isn't progressive -- that we want to break through glass ceilings in education and in excellence rather than through sexual boundaries.
Turning that tide is a daunting task, but we must do it for the young girls who will soon take our place. If all 20- and 30-something Christian women refused to watch programming that promoted promiscuity, networks would get the message. It's time to say no to sleaze.
1. Seth said the following at 12:34 PM on Sep 27:
I'm not a woman but I solve this whole issue of sexualized media by not watching tv. Sure some shows have good things on them, and that's fine I may watch something once in a great while, like the Kent Burns documentary on WW II or the history channel or discovery but it's pretty rare for me to watch anything on mainstream television. You get alot more time to spend with people and God without all that mess I find. It was hard at first to find things to fill my time, but after a while it became pretty easy.
I usually avoid movies as well, almost every one of them promotes a non biblical message these days not to mention that the way a movie is set up you don't even get to talk to the person your there with, your basically just sitting there next to them. I go to a movie every once in a while just for fun or whatever but this going every night in a week that people do is overboard.
It would be nice if we were able to turn the tide against all these things so that it would actually be possible to not have to constantly be fighting with our culture all the time.
Here is an idea, how about we stop taking everything Oprah Winfrey says as fact. She does some very good things but she also does a number of not so helpful things especially related to how she leads people astray in terms of salvation. I'm really tired of people quoting her all the time, especially because a good number of her quotes say a whole lot of nothing, or say something patently false.
2. BB said the following at 12:50 PM on Sep 27:
Not just women. It has become acceptable for men to do things they used to do in the dark. Movies like American Pie and any other movie that included a bachelor party encourages strippers and a night of debauchery. If it was just once in your life, that wouldn't be as bad as now, saying you are entitled to one night a year… or is it two? Let’s see, you have Marti Gras and Spring break. what's next? A promotion, a baby, closing a deal? What is it about our society that wants to turn decent women into Greece's Ladies in pink? Why is it now acceptable for men to talk about "pleasing themselves" on national TV (Seinfeld - Master of one's domain episode)? The last girl I dated thought I never did any wrong. Not because I was perfect but because anything I did wrong was less "bad" as what other men do in open with out any remorse. Why can't people today see sin for sin? I longed so long for accountability but all I got was you're doing great, better then most type of lip. Are we proud to wear our Scarlet Letters? Is that what the Playboy Bunny t-shirt is to us, a reminder that we are of this age?
How do we become set apart but still able to relate to our culture? Half my old Sunday school class went to bars to get drunk anyhow. Is that the ticket? No, I think not but what?
If Jesus looked now over the masses, what would he say? Would he say "The land is plentiful but the planters are few" or is this the time where we trust God to do something impossible?
3. Ashley said the following at 1:08 PM on Sep 27:
Recent polls have shown that the majority of Americans believe that television shows have gotten worse and worse. And yet we continue to watch! The majority of Christians would never allow what happens on these shows to be done in our homes and yet we allow them to enter our lives every day. The time has come for us to follow Paul's advice,
"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."
(Philippians 4:7-9), even if this means turning off the television.
4. Brittany said the following at 2:31 PM on Sep 27:
Do you know how hard it is to be a young woman fighting the sleaze today? I go to a Baptist university with a supposed "dress code" and still most of my girlfriends wear what I would consider sleazy clothes. It's ridiculous when my fiance doesn't want to hang out with them because of the temptation they cause. You'd think these girls would be embarrassed, but they aren't. It's sad, really. It's hard to find accountability among even Christian girls because so many of them have given in to the lie that it's okay for sex to permiate our lives. Thank you for this article and the stand that you have taken. It's a message that needs to be heard and heeded.
Like Seth, my fiance and I have decided to not watch TV, even after we are married. It has become so disgraceful, and watching it only encourages the filth.
BB, I think it's possible to still know how to reach those emersed in our culture without compromising. Jesus still ministered to all kinds of sinners, but He didn't commit the sin of compromise. He ate with the sinners, He didn't get drunk with them. He ministered to the harlot, but didn't pay her for services. He reached out to the tax collecter's, He didn't ask them for a cut.
Sin is sin. And sexual immorality is always listed throughout the Scriptures. "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." (Ephesians 5:3) Not even a hint. That means in the way one dresses (both male and female alike!), the way one speaks, or the way one acts. Rather, we are to "seek first His kingdom and his righteousness." Look for it. Choose to find it and embrace it.
5. nikki said the following at 2:56 PM on Sep 27:
It's interesting to view the comments her in contrast to those on the "judgment" post. We're not supposed to judge the world, but we enjoy getting on our soapboxes and denoucing it anyways. I know a lot of what is being said is directed at the church and our lax attitude towards sleaze. But this is just like anything else. We don't expect the unredeemed to act redeemed, including TV stations and movie producers.
On the other hand, there are plenty of 'nonchristian' reasons to oppose the spread of sleaze, the first being that it demeans women. You don't have to be a believer to see that. Society as a whole suffers when sex is cheapened.
I understand what you folks are saying about avoiding viewing sin, and I'm all for you sticking to what you believe is right. But for myself, I really don't know how to take that attitude and yet continue to hang out with unbelievers, listen to the radio, read Reader's Digest, watch the news (commercials can be racy too), or use Myspace (ads?). There are plenty of shows/sites/channels I avoid, but I think we need to make sure we're strong enough to combat those worldly messages when they come at us. Unless you are living in some secluded cult or something, you will be exposed to smut in some way.
At the same time I know a lot of believers who don't seem to exercise any kind of discernment. I think that needs to change. It's not that we need to set ourselves apart in this way, but that we need to be wise enough to know what affects us. We also need to realize that what affects me in this way might not affect my friend X in the same way. People are different and are led astray in different ways. So it's really hard to judge in some areas. Others, like American Pie, not so hard.
6. xeres said the following at 3:24 PM on Sep 27:
This is one of those things where it's going to get difficult. I'm all for purity. However, we need to offensive, more so than just simply defensive. I'm not going the let the Devil have the media and the arts. We need to create culture, not just simply avoiding vice. Avoiding vice isn't a bad thing at all. In fact, it had wisdom to it. What I'm opposed of is the idea that just avoiding vices alone is going to cure all the cultural ills and garbage. The irony is that Christians want to change the world but they don't allow God to transform them.
7. Suzanne said the following at 3:56 PM on Sep 27:
There's a difference between judging the immoral behavior of an unbeliever and seeking purity for your own eyes and mind. Scripture mandates both.
8. Mateo said the following at 5:30 PM on Sep 27:
Seth said "It would be nice if we were able to turn the tide against all these things so that it would actually be possible to not have to constantly be fighting with our culture all the time." I think that would be nice but by definition will never happen. Every culture will have its problems and we will always have to be fighting against them as long as we are alive on this earth.
Also, it's interesting to see things here in Peru. I had unthinkingly assumed that other countries were better in this regard, but here they play movies like "15 Minutes" (look it up on plugged-in, or rather, don't) on the busses where it is very hard to avoid looking.
9. Leah said the following at 5:59 PM on Sep 27:
I don't watch Grey's, but I have friends that do. And I can't say that they've changed or anything since watching it, so I'm certainly not going to suggested they boycott it. It isn't affecing them. Maybe we should be more concerned with making sure *young* girls- the ones who *do* get affected by this type of stuff- are watching age-appropriate television. Because while you're out boycotting such TV, your 15 year old daughter is probably watching downloaded episodes of Grey's Anatomy or Desperate Housewives at a friend's place.
10. Leah said the following at 6:04 PM on Sep 27:
nikki, you say It's interesting to view the comments her in contrast to those on the "judgment" post. We're not supposed to judge the world, but we enjoy getting on our soapboxes and denoucing it anyways. I know a lot of what is being said is directed at the church and our lax attitude towards sleaze. But this is just like anything else. We don't expect the unredeemed to act redeemed, including TV stations and movie producers.
You're missing the point of both posts. This post is not judging the world. It is saying that what they're doing is wrong (which is perfectly allowable) and saying that we should not follow it (again, perfectly allowable). The judgment post does not forbid either of these things. No, why might not expect the unredeemed to act redeemed, but we can certainly expect them to uphold basic morals at the request of viewers! (Just like we expect politicians to uphold the morals of their voters).
11. Fred said the following at 6:40 PM on Sep 27:
Leah,
The question I'd ask isn't if they've changed (for the worst) but have they grown?
12. Morgan said the following at 7:04 PM on Sep 27:
"Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong..." Exodus 23:2
"Do not be like your fathers and brothers, who were unfaithful to the LORD, the God of their fathers, so that he made them an object of horror, as you see." 2 Chron. 30:7
Break the Cycle!!!
I agree with Seth. It's great to know their ARE guys actually going against the flow and stepping out of the sin. Why, when we know it is wrong, do we keep this sin in our lives?
WHY?
Because we have been raised in a culture that downplays consequences. Quit following the flow.
You may not realize it, but you drop your guard when you start watching TV. You can't expect to put yourself in any compromising situation and tell me that you wouldn't start falling prey to sin. Christ does not approve of Grey's Anatomy-of that I am 100% positive. How do I know this? it goes agaisnt many, many commandments given to us in the Bible. As a follower of Christ, why would you want to watch sin? What sin? How about the 'bed hoppers?' Food for thought.
And stop listening to Oprah...instead let's all Pray for people of influence!!!
And to think I've figured all this out at the ripe old age of 17...proof that it's not rocket science. Step up to the plate.
13. Christine said the following at 9:59 PM on Sep 27:
I think that there is a fine line when it comes to entertainment. On one hand, I'm not willing to completely write off everything that isn't "Christian" because, to a certain degree, we can gain from non-believers. Yet at the same time, we should be mindful of the "Garbage in, Garbage out" reality.
If we're feasting on entertainment that promotes ungodly behavior then, even if our outer lives look okay, we are going to have some heart issues.
This is something I struggle with because I love listening to the radio and do not like the Christian radio stations in my area (I can't stand the cheesy overplayed music) and I know that I need to be quicker with the scan button when the lyrics get raunchy. No, the raunchy lyrics have never caused me to physically act in a way that is ungodly, but they have put things in my head that ought not be there.
14. Adam said the following at 9:50 AM on Sep 28:
Is it not what goes into the man that defiles him, but what comes out from his heart.
15. John said the following at 5:50 PM on Sep 28:
What can a believer learn from a non-believer?
Answer.
How to be like a non-believer.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Man, somethings are just too rediculous.
16. Melissa said the following at 7:01 PM on Sep 28:
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellance, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these thing." Philippians 4:8
Yes, the heart is wicked above all things and yes we are more than able of being evil through our own nature and will without the aid of raunchy television shows or music..so knowing this, why would we encourage that?
No, we can't boycott everything nor should we since we do need to be able to engage culture with the relevant truth of the gospel. Plus many things in culture aren't evil, there is beauty in the gifts and common grace that God has blessed all people...but think about how often in Scripture we are commended to put into our minds the Word of God, God' law, etc...not filth.
17. Christine said the following at 8:41 PM on Sep 28:
John - What can a believer learn from an unbeliever? Let's see - I've had non-Christian professors who taught me math, science, literature, music, grammar, etc. If we say that we can learn nothing but evil from non-Christians, then we are denying that they are made in the image of God because we're saying that they have nothing to offer. I don't think that you can learn from Grey's Anatomy or the like, but I do think that there are other forms of entertainment that we can learn from - literature, music, etc.
I don't have a problem with avoiding questionable material. I have a problem with saying that since there is some bad that we should just put our heads under rocks and ignore everything around us. Believers need to be discerning in what they absorb, but that doesn't mean that they can't read a book written by a non-Christian, etc.
I'm sorry that I'm off on a tangent. After reading some of the above posts, I just wanted to say that I don't believe that Christians have to avoid everything outside of the Christian bookstore.
18. John said the following at 5:55 AM on Sep 29:
Christine, read the quote in context, the poster was refering to moral behavior not academics.
Did you learn to be so sardonic from a non-believer as well?
Boundlessline please post again the "How to read" post. It's so very much needed.
19. Mark Ginter said the following at 12:08 PM on Sep 29:
Is there ever an 'appropriate' age to view any of this? I watch a fair amount of prime time. "The Office" "CSI" "House" are the ones I catch all the new episodes of. I mention this to be up-front. I watch TV.
But I do wonder quite often if we're being honest with ourselves when we suggest that there's a certain age where none of this sex-laced tv doesn't affect us. Sure - maybe there's some kinky sex thing on CSI and I don't go out and mimic -- but somehow doesn't it begin to become normalized for me? Don't I begin to accept that this is somehow normal behavior for someone even if I'm not the one acting on those impulses. So by extension don't I become a part of the culture that approves of these things simply from the act of watching them on tv?
20. Jorden said the following at 11:10 PM on Sep 29:
Several good points were made,but I just want to make my opinion made known :P. Ok,I'm going to be honest I watched a ton of prime time tv last year. This year I've slowed down a tad,and am planning on keeping it mainly to my 5 favorite shows(Prison Break,24,Heros,Lost,American Idol). I have to say it does influence us all when we watch it,some more or less than others; but it's hard because there are not a lot of good alternatives to things like those. I personally listen to mainly Christian music(not only though); because it's a good alternative. If I had one for tv then I'd use it. O,and I have to agree with Christine and disagree with John on the part about learning from non-believers. Yes,they don't follow God,but that doesn't mean that they can't have Biblical attributes. Not saying we should follow everything a non-believer says,but as long as it lines up with the Bible I see no problem with it.
21. Julia said the following at 11:54 PM on Sep 29:
This post and some of the responses got my hackles up. I felt defensive almost instantly. For me, that's usually a sign that I'm about to feel guilty.
Yes I watch TV... too much TV actually. In fact, it has become a pretty bad habit. My media diet includes a lot of reading, surfing, listening and watching. It very much affects how I think and how I feel. It colours my speech and weaves its way into my conversation.
I am convicted by this. What I allow into my mind affects how I feel and think, which affects what I believe about myself, my world, my church and my GOD. What I believe influences how I act.
The best and worst part of this is that in most cases, I have 100% control of what I allow into my life. I can choose to put the book down, turn the TV off and avoid wandering over to the magazine rack when I am at 7-11. I can stop the inflow of filth, but I don't want to.
We don't live in a black box void of culture. We have to understand our culture to a certain extent. However, we should be like aliens in a strange land. This earth is not our home. We are to be ambassadors to this culture, not partakers of it. We should be influencing the culture and not the reverse.
Entertainment media is not a necessity for ministry. Let's face it, I can still love, serve and befriend the desperate housewife nextdoor, even if I can't join in the conversation about the latest episode of Desperate Housewives. People tend to care more about whether you genuinely love them than whether you have a facebook profile.
How often am I so in love with my own entertainment that I forget to be in love with my Jesus? When I pick up the remote control instead of my Bible it's not out of motivation to be relevant to this culture for the purpose of ministering to them. It's purely selfish. I spend so much time reading blogs that I forget to pray. I cry in the movie theatre, but I don't weep for the lost. I think up snarky responses to posts that offend me instead of forgiving the poster.
It's about time I got serious about this. I spend more time watching TV than in communion with my Father. I defend the time I spend entertaining myself as "it's not that bad, it's not like I'm hurting anyone, everyone needs to have a little fun once in a while, everyone at church does it too, I'm so bored, I'm tired and dont feel like doing anything tonight, I just want to turn my brain off, I've been thinking hard all day" and the kicker, "it's my right."
As an aside, whenever I see posts like this, I read a lot of people saying "we/they should... or we/they shouldn't...." This is just an unconsious way of deflecting conviction from ourselves and onto an indistinct group of "others." It allows us to stop taking responsibility for that conviction. I do it myself, but maybe it is time that we all looked inward and started saying "I am convicted by this, therefore I should....."
22. Jo said the following at 6:12 AM on Sep 30:
John: I find your reply to Christine far more 'sardonic' than her original comment. Regardless of the validity of your views, the tone of your comment sounds very harsh and condemning to me, whereas hers sounded far softer and more measured.
In addition, while we should accept that we won't usually learn Godly morality from non-believers, a lot of the shows that some Christians do (and have the right to) boycott, can have things to teach us about other aspects of life that different Christians may feel make them worthy of their attention. Everything in the 'world' is tainted, but that doesn't necessarily completely negate its worth.
It's important above all to be aware of the messages we're being given. It's a balancing act that is different for every person, and while there definitely are some 'black and white' issues, there are also a lot of grey areas where we find a mixed bag of good and bad attitudes/messages. We have to decide prayerfully for ourselves, how best to respond to these things.
23. John said the following at 3:15 PM on Sep 30:
Jo,
My post was not sardonic. Look up the word.
24. Fred said the following at 5:31 PM on Sep 30:
John, in light of Christine's post I don't think your response was overboard.
25. JMA said the following at 2:13 PM on Oct 1:
sardonic \sar-DON-ik\, adjective:
Scornful, mocking; disdainfully humorous.
"Boundlessline please post again the "How to read" post. It's so very much needed."
^I would say that John's post could be seen as sardonic.
I would also say that it isn't fair to criticize someone's ability to read when you don't know how to spell "ridiculous".
I don't remember Jesus mentioning that the Good Samaritan was a believer, but we were able to learn from his actions. All TRUTH is God's truth, whether it's being spoken by a saint or a sinner.
26. John said the following at 3:11 PM on Oct 1:
Yes, of course, because a typo has much to do with reading.
But, as usual, on blogs, people like to attack people for things that have nothing to do with their arguement.
My post wasn't sardonic. I mocked nobody. I made a point.
And I'll say it again, boundless should put that post up again.
27. Jenna said the following at 4:53 PM on Oct 1:
Let's not forget that plenty of sexualization happens in print (although I'm aware that it's easier to overlook because, sadly, more people watch TV/movies than read).I made choices in the past to 'live with' raunch in my reading material, and I cannot undo that. I desperately wish I could, because it put ideas in my head that I can never entirely rid myself of.
28. Scott W said the following at 5:34 PM on Oct 1:
Sorry to interrupt the debate. I wanted to get back to the original post. I read it just after seeing a NY Times article that women are less happy now than in the 60s.
I couldn't help connecting the dots. Whether it's women today who flaunt their sexuality to gain attention, or women of a generation earlier who burned their bras, both are journeying the wrong road. Women will never find their fulfillment in being the sexual objects of men. Neither will they gain power by opposing men.
Ultimately, our security is in Christ, whether male or female. Aside from the generic, God has designed a woman to find great security in the love of one man. Women who try to attract a man with sex will get a sex-focused man. Those who avoid all men because men are sex-crazed will miss the real gems of guys whose true desire is to love and protect one woman, and help her to be all God intended her to be.
As we fit into our God-given roles as men and women within the realm of marriage, the shortfalls of manhood are made up by the uniquely superior attributes of womanhood, and vice versa. But whether married or single, our bottom line should be to have an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. He is the only one who can meet us on the road between the two ditches of selfish desire -- that of doing anything to be wanted, and doing everything to be independent.
29. Kathryn said the following at 12:21 AM on Oct 3:
John, whatever tone your response to Christine was meant to have had, it wasn't conveyed that way; I also found it a bit sardonic in nature. Maybe you could take more care in phrasing, so as to not appear as such in future? :) As Christine herself says:
I'm sorry that I'm off on a tangent. After reading some of the above posts, I just wanted to say that I don't believe that Christians have to avoid everything outside of the Christian bookstore.
In any event, I think it's good to be discerning and wise in what we watch on TV. The majority of things I watch tend to be of a 'clean' nature; although I am quite keen on Heroes. :D
30. BDB said the following at 12:27 AM on Oct 3:
You know, one of the things that strikes me about a lot of popular culture is how hopeless people seen.
For example, I decided to thumb through a copy of Oprah's magazine. What struck me was that all the "relationship" articles assumed that 100% of relationships with men were temporary. The divorce rate in the U.S. is only 50%. How did the editors of the magazine become so cynical?
As for Grey's Anatomy...well, you can detect some of the same struggle in their writing. I found it interesting that the season finale had all the young couples breaking up...but the old couple, the husband specifically...asserted the responsibility of his wedding vows and took control of a situation. It looked to me like whoever wrote that episode seems to be struggling with the idea that the modern way people do things doesn't work, and that maybe, just maybe, the old folks know something that shouldn't be discarded.