Marriage Sliding More into the Thirties
by
Steve Watters
on Sep 12, 2007 at 9:31 AM
A new report from the Census Bureau shows a smaller percentage of Americans marrying in their twenties. A USA Today analysis of the numbers showed that 73% of men in their twenties have never married (compared to 64% in 2000) and 62.2% of women that age had never married (compared with 53.4% in 2000). The reporter tied this six-year jump to trends we often hear about:
The trend toward delaying marriage has emerged over several decades as economic and social forces have made it more difficult for those in their 20s to reach independence. Sociologists and demographers say other factors are also at work, including increasing numbers of cohabiting couples, more highly educated women who have fewer highly educated men of comparable age to partner with, and more choices open to women than in decades past.
This change is not indicative of people giving up on marriage, however. If you look at the age segments in the data, the percentage who have never married drops to 21.6% for men and 16.4% for women by the time they are in the 35 to 44 range. By age 65, only 4.6% of American men and women have never married.
1. Barron had the following to say on Sep 12 at 9:44 AM:
You seem to be forgetting that those in the 65 age bracket are the product of the 1940s and 1950s. We already know that today's 20- and 30-year-olds are very different, so it would be inaccurate to assume that marriage percentages of today's young people would reflect those of today's senior citizens.
2. Keb had the following to say on Sep 12 at 11:09 AM:
I don't know whether to read this as good news (that I probably will be married in my 30s) or bad...the waiting is hard.
3. Hoping To SOmeday Marry had the following to say on Sep 12 at 11:30 AM:
"...the percentage who have never married drops to 21.6% for men and 16.4% for women by the time they are in the 35 to 44 range."
So I'm CONFUSED. In an earlier blog post, it said that according to the US census bureau, only 90% of adults in the US population never get married.
4. Steve Watters had the following to say on Sep 12 at 1:16 PM:
I think "Hoping to Someday Marry" meant to say that our earlier posts indicated that 90% of Americans eventually marry. That was based on analyses and projections of historical trends by Census officials. Some analysts have already observed that the numbers in this American Community Survey (drawn from a sample of the population) differ from the trends projected out from the 2000 Census (which covers as many Americans as possible).
5. Jennifer E. Jones had the following to say on Sep 12 at 1:28 PM:
These surveys are doing more harm than good. Relax everyone. You'll get married when you meet the right person. 'Till then, don't worry about it. You'll have plenty of time to freak out about marriage after the wedding :-)
6. Scott W had the following to say on Sep 12 at 3:45 PM:
We tend to think of marrying in the mid- to late-20s is an new phenomenon, but it looks quite similar to earlier part of the 20th century. When we think of traditional marriage, we picture couples marrying in their late teens or around 20, as they did in the 40s or 50s. Since then the marriage age has been drifting older.
This would actually be a good sign, if not for some of the likely causes for the delays: a lack of marriageable men, the culture's emphasis on independence, and the disappearance of the stigma toward cohabitation.
So many of today's singles are tangoing between wanting freedom and wanting to fulfil a lifelong dream to have someone to call their own. This will be an interesting dance to see played out in the coming years.
7. Amy P. had the following to say on Sep 12 at 5:48 PM:
It is a good thing that we don't live or die by the statistics! Statistics are just that. There are people who marry earlier and there are those who marry later. Individual people fall differently on the stats.
If we went by statistics, hopefully Christians would be in the statistical minority in many categories (i.e., not cohabing together, not having sex, etc.).
Please remember that statsics are just that. It is discouraging to hear of the trend, but we ought not be too suprised!
8. Tiffany had the following to say on Sep 12 at 7:18 PM:
I am curious in this data to see how many people in the statistics were married and divorced, thus ensuring they would not be in the never married stats.
9. R Lee had the following to say on Sep 12 at 8:09 PM:
Unfortunately, for myself and other 30ish guys, the waiting is very hard: Many of the 20's & 30's Christian women we are meeting are not ready for dating and/or marriage & family because they are very much into their careers, or in the process of trying to find their second one.
10. Childless single woman had the following to say on Sep 13 at 12:37 AM:
Hmm - I am not sure I am convinced by this, R Lee: "Many of the 20's & 30's Christian women we are meeting are not ready for dating and/or marriage & family because they are very much into their careers, or in the process of trying to find their second one."
I think that might be what they say, because they have been given the impression that it is wrong to admit to desiring marriage.
Christian women are in for a lecture about "contentment" if they say they really want marriage and children. I know of one single Christian woman in her late 30s, who said that the only thing a single woman is allowed to ask for prayer about in her home group is her job! (She wasn't being entirely serious - but not completely joking either!)
And women in the world fear that men will run a mile if they are honest about wanting marriage.
Believe me, virtually all women from age 25 upwards, do desire marriage and children. May I encourage you and your friends to keep looking. If the women around you are not interested in you, you may simply need to widen your net!
11. Naomi had the following to say on Sep 13 at 4:26 AM:
I heard a statistic the other day that a woman in her 30s would have as much chance of getting married as that of a woman who is 65, rather than get disillusioned as I head towards 30 in the next couple of years, I chose to turn the TV off before it was discussed further.
I think in secular society there are many people who want to delay 'growing up' until they are in their 30s, but there are a good many of us in Christian circles that are still coming to terms to the 'waiting game' as we steadily age and feel at sometimes that marriage is even further away than it felt before...
12. tdolby had the following to say on Sep 13 at 8:07 AM:
If it is true that R Lee's experience is a common one, then is it perhaps time for such men to look for younger women? Offer them the option of choosing marriage early?
This is not intended to be a criticism of women or men; it's more of a "how do we do what's best in light of where we are" thought.
Not sure how this will be received :) Ladies? Would attention from eligible men have been welcome at a young age? Assume that such men haven't wasted their years, and have something to show for their age :)
13. Justice had the following to say on Sep 13 at 10:55 AM:
blah blah blah,
these statistics I doubt are realistic, we're talking about the USA today, the dumbed down version of the news designed to have lots of color and graphs!
14. DannieA had the following to say on Sep 13 at 12:04 PM:
tdolby....
when I was 19, a guy in his late 30s wanted to court me...He was just too close to my dad's age. That was a little disturbing to me. I think when one is in mid 20s...your brain and maturity develop to the point that if you were asked out by a guy in his late 30s...you would consider, not because you were desperate, but because you see the world differently...
So I think it depends.
15. Kellie had the following to say on Sep 13 at 2:10 PM:
Last time I checked a woman could be married and also have a job, so perhaps the women R Lee comes into contact with are just giving him excuses. I get a little tired of the idea that either a woman can be married and have a family OR she can have a career. For most women today, reality means finding a balance between the two.
16. Scott had the following to say on Sep 13 at 4:42 PM:
I disagree with everybody! Just kidding. But just to touch on a couple points:
a) The stats are from the US Census Bureau, not the USA Today. They're the best stats we've got.
b) Sure they are just numbers but those numbers represent real people.
c) Why do comments on this issue always try to solve the problem? It's not going to be solved in a few lines on a message board.
d) Speaking of the problem, do we honestly think the problem is lack of eligibility in one or two aspects? Even if you put 50 single people together in a room, selected because they have their career locked down, they're all around the same age, and they all want to get married, I doubt you're going to come up with more than a few dates and who knows if a marriage would result from it. They don't call it chemistry because it's easy.
17. Helen had the following to say on Sep 13 at 8:08 PM:
DannieA: When you're in your mid-twenties, you're closer in age to anyone in their late thirties. It's not as disturbing, not necessarily because your outlook changes. At 19, you have every right to be disturbed.
Boundless in general, let's stop talking about getting married late and all those statistics. I think that the fact that we're even viewing this website means that we have desires towards marriage, whether we're male or female. We don't need anymore numbers to up the pressure or inflict depression upon us.
I hope I don't sound too jaded, but all these scary statistics have made me anxious because I don't want to marry late, and I'm only 21!! Giving a timeline distracts me from focusing whole-heartedly on all the good things in life that I already have. I want to take the time to enjoy them, instead of worrying about how old I'll be when I get married. It helps the time pass quicker, whenever it may come!
18. R Lee had the following to say on Sep 14 at 10:24 PM:
Oh it is definitely true, so disappointingly true. Sure some girls want to date because they hate being lonely, and feel like they are missing out. And others are willing to marry but with the idea of holding off on having kids until their careers are "stable".
Remember studies have already shown this to be the case in the secular world, and the evangelicalism has been imitating the world for a good long time now. I do not find it surprising at all.
Ha-ha, I could not begin to tell you how wide my net is, but I have observed it happen across different churches and ministries. I even have had a female friends/sisters tell me this is the case!! Plus, I am not the only guy to have observed this trend.
Do not worry. My friends and I have not given up on finding & asking as our hope is in the Lord! For surely this will definitely have to be a God providing thing.
19. Hannah had the following to say on Sep 15 at 3:07 AM:
People. Never underestimate a woman's ability to multi-task. The ability to accept statistics and still trust God that His plans are good. The ability to desire marriage and not compromise her standards through desperation generated by statistics. The ability to pursue a career and sustain a relationship that may lead to marriage. All things are possible.
20. Bethany had the following to say on Sep 15 at 11:47 PM:
“Speaking of the problem, do we honestly think the problem is lack of eligibility in one or two aspects? Even if you put 50 single people together in a room, selected because they have their career locked down, they're all around the same age, and they all want to get married, I doubt you're going to come up with more than a few dates and who knows if a marriage would result from it. They don't call it chemistry because it's easy.” (Scott Sep 13 at 4:42 PM) Well, then, what’s the point of this article? For that matter, many of the other articles found on Boundless regarding singles/relationships?
I think Helen said it perfectly: “Boundless in general, let's stop talking about getting married late and all those statistics. I think that the fact that we're even viewing this website means that we have desires towards marriage, whether we're male or female. We don't need anymore numbers to up the pressure or inflict depression upon us.” (Helen Sep 13 at 8:08 PM).
21. Louise had the following to say on Sep 16 at 7:13 PM:
Kellie, if you're going to read the posts and comments, get used to the attitude that women have only two choices: 1) a life of "celibate service" or 2) marriage and subsequent stay at home motherhood.
22. Katie (the other one) had the following to say on Sep 17 at 9:31 AM:
Louise,
I'd like to add that this "either-or" philosophy of women's destiny is pervasive throughout the Christian culture. Maybe not all Christians/church explicitly believe it, but there's definitely an undertone of "Well, it's good in theory for women to have a calling/profession, but in practice God wants them to be wives and mothers only". It's as if we've forgotten about the women of the Bible who had their own purpose (how about Deborah?!). Sometimes, I just have to laugh at it all...
23. A Wife had the following to say on Dec 16 at 12:42 PM:
Everyone, please do this find someone your own age to marry, this is for everyone's best. Men STOP hitting on girls who could be your daughters. Get over it you are old now and should be mature enough to date women your own age. Women, stop giving these men the time of day when they insist on hitting on you. The truth is they are immature and have issues with women so they go after girls who are less discriminating.
Sorry, the above is true , we all know this let's start an honest discussion.