Deserved Beauty
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 09/07/2007 at 11:47 AM
Last year I saw a stunning video produced by Dove, in which the process of "creating beauty" was revealed. The point of the video was to show that the beauty in magazines and on billboards that women strive for isn't even close to real. Dove's motto is: "Every woman deserves to feel beautiful just the way she is." This sounds really good. But is it truth or pop psychology?
Candice's post on beauty got me thinking about the enslaving nature of living up to a physical ideal. Girl Talk recently discussed the culture's distorted yardstick of physical perfection, as seen in this video produced by the Dove campaign for real beauty. Dove's motto is: "Every woman deserves to feel beautiful just the way she is." Carolyn Mahaney points out how this goal falls short:
Even if every girl did "feel beautiful just the way she is," it wouldn't bring her true joy or lasting happiness or solve even one of her problems.
Truth be told, what we all deserve is not to feel beautiful but rather to be condemned to hell for sinfully seeking to attract the worship of our fellow creatures instead of living to bring glory to God.
God did not send Jesus to this earth to die so that women could get over their self-esteem problem and feel better about themselves. No, He sent his Son to die to rescue us from our sinful, futile quest for physical beauty and to reveal to us the satisfaction that comes from knowing God -- whether we are beautiful or not!
I know I have been guilty of exalting and desiring the physical beauty of others. And I have seen friends struggle with low self-esteem and eating disorders as a result of culture's unrealistic standard of beauty. But Carolyn points out that when we seek the world's ideal of beauty, we take our focus off God and miss out on the joy and hope He offers us. Honestly, I am tired of hearing about inner beauty. But I think if I could focus on the beauty of Christ and His sacrifice, I might reflect something that attracts others to Him.
1. Carrie said the following at 12:09 PM on Sep 7:
While I agree with the principle behind this post, I disagree with the outworking of it.
Yes, in and of ourselves we are nothing. We can't save ourselves. Compared to God we are as dust. This is the "T" is the TULIP acronym for the five points of Calvinism. Its very difficult to not fall into hyper-calvinism or stoicism when working with the doctrine of Total Depravity.
God did create human bodies and in the beginning Adam and Eve were declared "good".
What I like about the Dove beauty campaign is that it is getting away from the glamourized, Hollywood version of beauty. Dove is not a Christian agency, so we shouldn't expect them to tote Christian philosophies. However, let's give them points for campaigning to discover "real beauty". Women do need to stop feeling as if they need to be a size 2, D-cup, blonde hair, blue eyes. That's what Dove is seeking to move away from. Let's give them a few points for that, at least.
As Christians, we need to be seeking to be made beautiful by the One who created beauty in the beginning. I, for one, have struggled greatly to fine my "inner beauty" (that which Christ has done). Christians shouldn't be discouraged from looking within themselves to find beauty, but they do need to give credit where credit is due (Father, Son, and Spirit) when they find something good and lovely.
I do think "every woman deserves to feel beautiful just the way she is" and reflect, discover, and give praise to God for the beauty that she discovers. Although "deserves" is a word we Calvinists like to stay away from, the guiding principle behind such an idea is something good I think.
2. J said the following at 12:15 PM on Sep 7:
Suzanne:
In light of these compelling arguments, how does one not focus on outer beauty but not approach the unhealthy thinking of self-loathing?
3. Lucie said the following at 12:48 PM on Sep 7:
One of Mrs. Mahaney's comments is quite extreme: "...What we all deserve...is rather to be condemned to hell for sinfully seeking to attract the worship of our fellow creatures instead of living to bring glory to God."
Taken at face value, this is over-spiritualization and religious legalism at its best. I've seen photos of Mrs. Mahaney and her daughters, and all four of them appear to be dressed attractively, have their hair styled in a flattering manner, and wearing makeup. In other words, they aren't attired in sackcloth and ashes to avoid even the chance of a second glance from either sex which might be construed as "worship." Would Mrs. Mahaney suggest that married women no longer seek to look attractive for their husbands in order to avoid the temptation for said men to "worship" their wives?
Somehow I doubt it. Neither do I believe that God "sent his Son to die to rescue us from our sinful, futile quest for physical beauty and to reveal to us the satisfaction that comes from knowing God - whether we are beautiful or not!"
Unless Mrs. M. is reading an entirely different Bible than the one I was brought up with, I thought it was to save us from eternal damnation after Adam and Eve's fall. Silly me.
4. Jacob said the following at 12:52 PM on Sep 7:
I recently pondered the question of human beauty on my blog (click my name, if you're interested in reading it). While I think the Dove campaign, in many respects, is on the right track, I agree that we can't let outselves get caught up in what the world thinks is beautiful, not can we wholly buy into the "beauty is what's on the inside" definition.
Props for bringing it back to the Gospel.
5. Andrea (aka Elena) said the following at 1:05 PM on Sep 7:
"Deserves" to "feel" beautiful...
Did anyone's "fear of man" detector go off?
Yes, it IS pop psychology.
If a woman is overly concerned about her looks or about how she feels about her looks—to the point that she is sinning by feeding the flesh: the self; to the point that her feelings and thoughts control her attitudes, words, and actions; to the point where she is hampered in or prevented from loving God and loving people—the antidote isn't more feeding of self...either from her or from other people. The antidote is right thinking about God, herself, and others... which ought to lead to loving God and loving people. (We have needs: physical needs for water, food, shelter, and clothing; spiritual need Christ for salvation; and spiritual need to love God and obey Him and to love other people. We have mental/emotional/psychological desires...which often develop into lusts...but these are not NEEDS. So says Edward T. Welch in his excellent book When People Are Big and God Is Small.)
Of course, addressing the world's warped ideas of what beauty is, really is a separate, albeit related, issue. I like Al Mohler's commentary series on "A Christian Vision of Beauty." (Read part 1 here.)
6. Lucie said the following at 1:49 PM on Sep 7:
Suzanne, I wanted to add an additional comment to your post, after my response to Carolyn Mahaney's quoted remarks.
You said that you "have been guilty of exalting and desiring the beauty of others." I question whether you have that much to feel guilty about. Attraction to physical beauty, whether in people or nature, is inborn and God-created. Read the Song of Solomon - do the two lovers who "exalt" and "desire" each other's beauty deserve to feel guilty for it?
Of course not. On the other hand, if a natural attraction is felt but is inappropriately acted upon (as in adultery, etc.), or becomes an unhealthy obsession, then you should indeed examine your conscience.
We also need to remember that no matter how lofty our standards, we still live in a fallen world where a person's worth - particularly a woman's - is measured largely by her appearance. This has been the case since the world began, and I don't see much possibility of it ever changing. At least one of the Boundless commentators has stated that one of the reasons he was attracted to his now-wife is because he found her beautiful. And even books by Christian authors stress the need for spouses to attempt to remain attractive for each other. (For example, see the chapter titled "He Needs an Attractive Spouse" in the book "His Needs, Her Needs.")
To sum it up - please be careful about throwing out the baby with the bathwater.
7. Jacob said the following at 2:02 PM on Sep 7:
Carrie, I'm confused. How does total depravity and hypercalvinism fit into this?
8. Suzanne said the following at 2:11 PM on Sep 7:
I don't believe Mrs. Mahaney is saying it is wrong for women to feel beautiful, only that we should not feel entitled to this "feeling." She used what we are actually entitled to — God's wrath (Eph. 2:3) — to point out a misguided pursuit.
Someone asked how we can avoid the territory of self-loathing. I believe Mrs. Mahaney is pointing out the way. As we choose to dwell on who we are in Christ, we will feel a self-confidence that can come from no other source (Song. 2:1). When we focus on "feeling beautiful," we miss the point! God says we are beautiful, and He defines what that looks like (Is. 52:7). As we learn more of our position in Christ, we will certainly "feel" something that surpasses the feeling of mere physical beauty. This is not something that we are entitled to. It is something that is a gift of grace.
I believe Mrs. Mahaney was merely shifting our focus from a "hollow and deceptive philosophy"(Col. 2:8) to the gift of "fullness of Christ" (Col. 2:10).
9. Suzanne said the following at 2:15 PM on Sep 7:
Lucie,
I see how my comment could be misunderstood! That sentence should have read: "I know I have been guilty of exalting and desiring TO POSSESS the physical beauty of others." I meant that I see beautiful women and desire to look like them...and perhaps pour too much energy into trying to do so. What you mention is another topic and one I was not touching on in this post.
10. Krissie said the following at 2:27 PM on Sep 7:
I just want to point out that Dove is a company, trying to make money. They've discovered a large market of women who struggle with self-esteem, so they are targeting them. It's marketing pure and simple. We can't look there any more than we can look at the airbrushed front page of a magazine to compare ourselves.
I agree with what Carolyn says.
11. J. said the following at 2:30 PM on Sep 7:
Amongst Christians, the subject of beauty has the potential to be a minefield as there is so much hypocrisy. I think we can all agree that physical beauty is ultimately God's domain; there are limits to the improvements that can be achieved with makeup and plastic surgery. I too am put off whenever I am told by a well-groomed woman in ministry that I shouldn't focus on the external. The same goes for male clergy who say such things, who seem more often than not to have beautiful wives.
Legalism and self-righteousness regarding plastic surgery is also very common in Christian circles. The Bible is silent on this subject, yet women who judge others for having it often don't think twice about dyeing their hair and using makeup. These things also constitute physical alterations, albeit more temporary ones. It's a slippery slope.
12. nikki said the following at 2:52 PM on Sep 7:
I worry that, in this peculiar, overspiritualized desperation to view ourselves as ugly and depraved as possible, we will all overlook and ultimately denegrate the unfathomable gifts of beauty God has given us in this world. One of the most beautiful things he created is the female body (probably THE most beautiful, according to most males). No, we shouldn't focus on these things to the expense of our relationship with God. But God created beauty -- all beauty -- to be enjoyed, thrilled over, desirable and joyful. A proper view of beauty is one that unabashedly celebrates it, all the while being joyfully thankful to our Creator for it.
13. Justice said the following at 3:14 PM on Sep 7:
"Ugly women are better wives"
great song. People who get mad about this stuff are ridiculous. We got a lot of Joshua Harris's going about
14. Carrie said the following at 3:17 PM on Sep 7:
"Honestly, I am tired of hearing about inner beauty. But I think if I could focus on the beauty of Christ and His sacrifice, I might reflect something that attracts others to Him."
The doctrine of Total Depravity states that there is nothing good within us. So, there is nothing "inside" of us that is beautiful. Our whole being needs to be redeemed. I think most Christians would agree to this belief.
Hypercalvinism (which, I would argue, is just plain wrong) is an outworking (in the wrong direction) of Calvinism. In summary, it teaches it is impossible "that there is any capability in man by nature to any spiritual good whatever." (courtesy of wikipedia.org)
So, when I said "it is difficult not to fall into Hypercalvinism" I meant that it is very hard to not throw out the desire to acheive external beauty all together.
If you are still confused ask more questions. This probably makes much sense in my head than it is to other readers. I'll blame boredom at work for poor prose.
15. Justice said the following at 3:17 PM on Sep 7:
Andrea,
Just because someone wants to look or feel good does not mean "fear of man"
When I have a day off and need to get a lot of school work done, I get dressed up even though I might not see an yone instead of laying around in gym shorts. My pastor does the same thing. So what is wrong with wanting to look our best?
Not that it matters, one of the first times I hung out with my soon to be fiance was when I was in the hospital with an absess on my face!
16. Jacob said the following at 4:30 PM on Sep 7:
Carrie, as a self-professed Reformed Baptist, I'm quite familiar with the five points. I'm not sure I agree with your understanding of total depravity. Yes, the doctrine does teach that we are without any goodness of ourself, it does not entail that we do every wicked thing we could do. I might be splitting hairs. I think I see what you're getting at, though. My point would only be that there is also a concept of "common grace" that God bestows on mankind as a whole, thereby displaying his providence for even the pagan (Paul's comment that God gave the greeks rain for their crops). It's an idea that Abraham Kuyper wrote about.
17. JJ said the following at 4:35 PM on Sep 7:
As a creation of God, it seems that women should consider themselves beautiful just as they are. As the Creator of each woman, maybe God is offended that women don't "feel" like the beauty who He fashioned and formed them into. While we deserve damnation pre-salvation, God's creative work is true beauty.
18. Sarah said the following at 6:12 PM on Sep 7:
I think what the Dove ads are trying to say is that a women should feel as good about her appearence as any other woman. Too often our culture sets a very narrow definition of beautiful, and women and girls can feel pressured to conform to being super-skinny, blond, tall, etc. Everyone is built differently, and if women are able to accept, and even be happy with the way God made their bodies, they may be able to focus more mental energy on the state of their soul.
19. Andrea (aka Elena) said the following at 7:24 PM on Sep 7:
Justice typed:
Just because someone wants to look or feel good does not mean [he or she is operating out of] "fear of man."
Yes, I agree. The issue here is motive. Yes, wanting to feel beautiful is not necessarily always sinful. When that desire becomes inordinate, when it becomes a lust, then it is sin.
"Lusting" after someone else's opinion in order to see oneself as valuable (beautiful, successful, whathaveyou) is what is definitely sinful.
Dove is saying that in order to feel beautiful, women need something: Dove's support, Dove's approbation, the paradigm of beauty shifting to prefer natural beauty rather than enhanced. As if Dove is the one to rescue women from the unfair and burdensome perceptions about beauty, held by "the world." Dove is just using the strong desire TO BE SEEN AND THOUGHT OF AS beautiful, to sell their products. OK. Whatever. That's fine.
I do agree with the underlying truth to which Dove is pointing: each woman is endowed with her own kind of beauty: because she is a real human being. A biblical worldview takes that one step further: she is beautiful because she is God's creation. She has worth because He made her.
But next to God, we are nothing. And that shouldn't turn us to self-flagellation and self-loathing. Because we really should be looking more at God and how beautiful and awesome He is. Why stare at ourselves?
When we see ourselves through the lens of "I am God's beautiful handiwork" and with the emphasis placed on His work's showing Him, then I think perhaps we are closer to being aligned to a proper view of ourselves and of God.
He is to be our mirror. Not the world. Not Dove.
Please read the book I mentioned in my previous post. Welch explains these concepts far better than I.
20. Andrea (aka Elena) said the following at 7:28 PM on Sep 7:
Lucie: Dressing attractively for one's husband is supposed to be about bringing him delight... through which both she and he give praise back to God. It is not in order that he worship her or that she be worshiped. In everything we do, we are to be imaging Christ.
I think if we thought about what that really means, more often, perhaps we'd do better at it? I don't know.
21. Jacob said the following at 8:18 PM on Sep 7:
Yes, common grace, that is what I was getting after. I thought that just a phrase used in my circles. I didn't know it was a universal "Reformed" thing. Hypercalvinism denies common grace happens, which I disagree with.
22. Fred said the following at 5:43 AM on Sep 8:
Remember how God wouldn't allow anyone who was disfigured to serve Him in the Tabernacle? Just food for thought.
23. Adam said the following at 8:38 AM on Sep 8:
I oftentimes wonder how beautiful Adam and Eve were. I bet they were pretty average looking considering most people in the world as a whole aren't very attractive. I also try to think about how they didn't shave or use soap or deodorant and things of that nature. I wonder how shocked I would be to see what man and woman looked like before the fall. I don't remember reading anywhere that physical ugliness is a part of the fall and sin. But if it is, please let me know where so I can rethink my position.
24. Bessie said the following at 10:16 AM on Sep 8:
Very thought provoking post---thanks, Suzanne! :)
Let’s look at to God’s Word for a bit of perspective:
"Will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, 'Come at once and recline at table'? Will he not rather say to him, 'Prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink'? Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty." Luke 17:7-10
“We are unworthy servants....” Were we ever worthy? No. Whether or not we are Reformed Calvinist in our doctrine (I, personally, am not), we are human beings that are worthy and deserving only of hell on our own. To say that we “deserve” anything is to exalt ourselves, and to make our happiness the primary focus. Also, “Feeling” good about ourselves is so much inferior to living confident in the way that we were created! :) Feelings are feelings---they wax and wane and change like the wind. Our Almighty, Awesome God never changes---His steadfast love for us endures forever.
I think that Dove’s campaign is great, and I hope that it will be an encouragement to women & girls not to take too much stake in the media’s beauty ideal. As Christians, we can look at this campaign and sift the good from it, but we must be careful of falling into the trap of feeling entitled and worthy. As long as we maintain an attitude of entitlement, we miss out on the joy and blessing and honor of living our lives as a servant to Christ. I don’t think this whole thing is so much about whether or not women should enjoy looking beautiful as it is about being rightly related to God and enjoying the fulfillment of a life lived in submission to Him, which we cannot do if we are still trying to fight for our own sake.
Just a few thoughts from a sister in Christ. :D
~Bessie B.
25. Christine said the following at 10:30 AM on Sep 8:
I see the standards of the world and I know I don't match them. I see the lack of a husband/fiance/boyfriend, etc. in my life and judge myself as not measuring up, not being beautiful.
The thing is, I'm realizing that I need a healthy sense of personal beauty. I can't see myself as flawless and perfect because, as a sinner, I am not. But, if I see myself as total pond scum, I'm neglecting the fact that God made me in His image.
God is the ultimate in beauty. I'm learning to see that the beauty in me can only come from Him. Putting gel in my hair tames the wild beast on my head (a much needed thing), but it doesn't make me beautiful. Developping a heart after God on the other hand, changes the very core of who I am and that is where real beauty is found.
I don't have a problem with make-up, hair products, etc (you'll find plenty of them in my bathroom). I just want my beauty to come from somewhere other than Maybelline.
If God blesses me with a husband, I'd rather that his primary attraction to me be based on the character that God is refining in me and not the mascara, concealer and eyeshadow on my face and the style of my hair.
26. Laura said the following at 10:33 AM on Sep 8:
Even though we should be focusing on the beauty of Christ and His sacrifice, it can be so difficult when society tells us otherwise. Just this week, the news organizations mentioned results of a study...men prefer hot women. Great.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/09/04/dating.mating.ap/index.html
27. Abbie said the following at 12:53 PM on Sep 8:
Are we forgetting that beauty is God-given, and that, like any gift, it can be nurtured, used, and possibly misused? Consider the uses and misuses of beauty in the following instances:
•Rebekah (Gen. 24:16 + 26:7), who is so beautiful that Isaac commits the same sin as Abraham did when he lied and insisted his wife was only his sister when he entered a new town.
•Abigail (I Sam. 25:3), who is called both beautiful in appearance and is also called intelligent. Her charms and her wisdom combined to keep David from killing her husband and the men in her household.
•Esther (Esther 2:7), who was already very beautiful, but then spent one full year in a spa being made even more beautiful through skin treatments and cosmetics in preparation to become the queen of Persia. Her charms were no doubt nurtured, honed, and used to save the nation of Israel.
•The Proverbs 31 woman, who clothes herself in purple and scarlet and fine linen.
•The woman of the Song of Solomon, who is praised for her physical beauty throughout that entire book.
•The Bride of Christ—the Church—which is described in Ezekiel as a beautiful woman decked with fine clothing, pearls, and jewels.
It's a natural thing to long for beauty. Women instinctively know that it is a gift God gives them (some more than others) and intends for them to steward. I do not think, therefore, that it is evil to desire it, or to accentuate it with cosmetics, if the use of that beauty is pure in intention. That means that trying to be beautiful to one-up someone or to generate lust (at least outside of marriage) is out. But using your beauty in a non-sexual way to attract a godly husband, keep that godly husband satisfied (hey, he's meant to enjoy "the wife of his youth"), and to encourage right and courageous behavior in men in your social circle are behaviors that use the gift of beauty wisely, as these women have shown above.
28. cn said the following at 5:09 PM on Sep 8:
uhm.... I'm pretty sure that Yeshua did die so we could get over our self esteem issues. Yes, He died to save us from Hell, and yes, He most definitely died to reconcile us back to the Father, but He also died to heal our wounds physcial, emotional, spirtual. He died so that we can know who's we are and in knowing who we belong to, we can know our true identity: Children of the one true God. Poor self-esteem is a major trap of the enemy to make those of us who should be walking in power feel weak and worthless. We should feel weak compared to the greatness of God, but not compared to the world. Compared to the world, we are more than conquerers. Knowledge of God takes care of all sorts of self-esteme issues trying to bind us down to the world and soulish issues. In the Messiah we have knowledge of God and true healing that should birth the only kind of true good self-esteem possible. This is the type of self-esteem that frees us from fear of man, and truely releases us to love our brother and our neighbor. Its the kind of self-esteem that says "I am worthy because HE said I am! My worth is greater to HIM than HIS own life. And you know what? YOURS is too!"
29. Glenise said the following at 11:05 PM on Sep 8:
So Dove is targeting regular women by promoting self-esteem. And self-esteem can be a bad thing if it becomes self-worship. However, for many women out there, self-esteem can be a good thing. Yes, I realize that I have sins and bad habits that are deserving of God's wrath. However, after Jesus forgives me, is it only my renewed spirit that is supposed to give Him glory? Is that the only thing that He calls "good"? Does God think my physical body is "good"? And if so, is it wrong of me to think the same?
I think Mrs. M's comment is a bit over the top, but it does have merit. I think if we focus too much on the physical, whether we look like the next top model or plain Jane, we may lose sight of what is most important - God's glory. The one who made the splendor of the mountains and the sunset, the wildflowers and the waterfalls - He made us too, body, mind and spirit, to glorify Him. Knowing His glory will obliterate any low self-esteem problems we may face as women - or people in general.
Although I think she could have stated it in a much better way, I do agree with Mrs. M in this: one day, it really won't matter what we look like at all. We will have to face our Creator and say what we did to make sure that HE was glorified in our bodies, in our thinking and in our lives.
30. Mike said the following at 5:36 AM on Sep 9:
Dove is doing something good. No, they are not a Christian company, but let me ask you the following question: do you condemn unsaved friends' actions that are not explicitly Christian even though they are moving in the right direction? Part of loving people is encouraging them to do the right thing and praising them when they do. By taking the wind out of the sails of our image-worshiping culture, Dove deserves our kudos.
31. Andrea said the following at 9:19 PM on Sep 9:
JJ: I was thinking that the whole time. Thank you.
God's creation was good. Then the fall happened, and you know the rest. We are born with innate standards of beauty, or we wouldn't have any appreciation for what is beautiful. But please remember that Jesus "had nothing that would attract us to him" on the outside. We must redefine beauty, and "unattach" it from our worth. We are equally valuable to God and each other. We are all human beings, all reflectors of the image of God.
Maybe we are tired of hearing about inner beauty but Jesus talked about it. He addressed the Pharisees about their inner life. And I think the most beautiful people I know are that way because of who they are. Because how much of Christ shines through them.
In reference to the self esteem stuff: Yes, we must stop worshiping our outer appearance and look at the source of all beauty. However, Jesus did come to make us whole. He came because He loves us, and desires humanity to be good again. And without our Creator, we have nothing to put esteem or hope into.
Yes we deserve hell, and there is nothing good in us apart from God. However, there is a middle ground between denying our beauty and depending on it for self-worth. We should affirm the hands of our Creator and encourage one another in that way. I argue that we are all beautiful because the source of beauty is living within us, and created us. When we are reconciled to this truth only He will matter, and the beauty that He has given us will simply be another magnificent way in which He is glorified.
"Because when we truly look at ourselves and each other as God sees us, we will not see faults and blemishes — we will see the image of Christ, dazzling and radiant in beauty" Bethany Patchin: "Eye of the Beholder" (see URL: http://www.boundless.org/2000/features/a0000317.html)
32. Christy said the following at 1:53 AM on Sep 10:
At the end of the book of Job, it says that God blessed Job even more in the later part of his life than He did in the first. He had more sheep, more donkeys, more cattle, etc. He had the same number of sons and daughters, only this time around it says that Job's daughters were the most beautiful in the land. That was Job's blessing. They are even named and given a share of inheritance. Now, i am not sure what all this signifies, but i do know at least that God can bless his children by making them outwardly beautiful. I think we should desire to be and work towards being more beautiful, both inwardly and outwardly, in order to worship our God. We can ask: how does my physical beauty reflect my God?
33. BB said the following at 10:46 AM on Sep 10:
I can't say this for sure but I don't think beauty is what women desire. They desire to be wanted and pursued. They want attention. Beauty is an ends to that means. On facebook, it's pretty comical and sad to watch ladies when they become single. First the news feed says they have changed their status from in a relationship to single. A couple of weeks later, there are often new pictures of them "having fun" wearing skimpy clothing. Being summer, you'll see more beach wear. Its like they are screaming "I'm beautiful and fun" so you should pursue me. What makes the situation said isn't that they do that. After all women follow what men lead them to believe they have to do to get noticed. The sad part is the results they get by doing that. Beauty is now seen as how they look in a 2 piece and no longer their smile or their inner beauty.
On that note I disagree that every woman should feel beautiful. Beauty is attractive to men and is something women should strive for but is not automatic. It is unrealistic for every woman be as thin as Victoria's Secret model however they can eat healthy and avoid destructive habits. Also they can avoid things like smoking and cursing which tarnishes even the most attractive women. The same goes for men. We can obsess with muscles and spiked bed hair and lose focus on what matters. If I hope to attract a mate one day, I know I'll need to put on my best face but if she is going to stick it out with me, I'll have to have something more then a six pack and a hairstyle that took hours to look like I just rolled out of bed. I'll need inner beauty. I'll need biblical manhood. We shouldn't make our looks an idol however there is something about keeping our image clean. It is after all the temple of the Lord.
34. marianne said the following at 2:23 PM on Sep 10:
Personally I have a really hard time with the "beauty" thing, I am actually a "size 2, D cup, blond hair and blue eyes" and am treated by others including clergy as either a "hot chick" or an unworthy ditz, regardless of how I try to present myself (most people don't know my cup size because I hide it) so beautiful or not, made up or not, either way humans treat women by their appearance, not by their faith, acts or intelligence. Really tired of being treated as something I am not, perhaps if people of faith actually practiced seeing people as God's children, brothers and sisters in faith instead of as a threat or an inferior they could lead society into stopping this ridiculousness.
35. Emily said the following at 1:01 PM on Sep 11:
I'm wondering if Mrs. Mahaney considers the celebration of beauty in the Song of Solomon as worship. If so, how are we to interpret that in its Biblical context? Even if you see this book as simply a metaphor for Christ and the church, would you say that the metaphor is somehow inappropriate in its representation? If not, does it not have something to say about how we were created and the place it holds in marriage? If celebrating God created beauty is not worship, then the desire for that celebration is not necessarily the desire to be worshiped. This is not to conclude that the desire to be worshiped is not a sin we all posess, but that it might not be categorically sinful.
36. JJ said the following at 4:44 PM on Sep 11:
Marianne: You have brought up a tragiclly true point. People (even Christian people) do treat others by their appearance, rather than by their faith, acts or intelligence.
I recently heard a radio talk show host asking if it was okay for Christian women to have plastic surgery. That's an interesting question for me personally to ponder. Let's say I'm a woman (I am) with a gentle and quiet spirit (that's still in the development stages). Yet that very same gentle and quiet spirit seems to be hampered from getting to the surface and attracting a godly single man. Maybe a little plastic surgery would let the gentle and quiet spirit shine through. ;-)
37. BB said the following at 3:08 PM on Sep 13:
Marianne, let me first say you are one lucky lady. The last girl I dated was beautiful however she was content to being a Sunday Christian. Yes, I first noticed the looks and also knew she claimed to be Christian. I also knew she was involved in Campus Crusade like I was but later on I found out it was mostly to hang out with her friends who all went. She had a lot of attractive qualities including being submissive and kind but she was content where she was. People will always notice your outer beauty and will be drawn to it. After being drawn however, you can be a tremendous blessing to them through your faith. Women of faith are often not in the spotlight and given the praise they deserve. Just because your ascetics raises testosterone in the males around you, don't forget they also have brains and can see you are more then the statistics you listed.
I don't know if this fits here but I'm reminded of Luke 2:18-19. Mary had just delivered the Christ but when the shepherds came, it was like she didn't exist. Mary just treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Maybe you feel like you've done something spiritual and some man got the credit. God sees what was done and that is a treasure you will see in heaven when it matters. This is treasure where money does not drop in the Stock Market or praise is not lost in time. I encourage you to look to God for your reward unless its your husband. Then you can kindly point out that he should turn from the error of his ways lest you do whatever it is that women do that makes the saying "if momma ain't happy, no ones happy."
They have brains... lol, wait... doesn't that sound like an argument from the other side of the equation?
38. Ocheido Innocent said the following at 8:10 AM on Aug 14:
Considering the fact that we are living in an age which the Bible refers to as the last days, and a time full of anti-christs, the heavenly minded christian has no other option than to trail the way of the Berean christians in the book of Acts. "they searched the scriptures to confirm what the preacher taught them, obviously to avoid deception. Thanks
39. Ocheido Innocent said the following at 8:47 AM on Aug 14:
Let God be true and every man a liar. This I beleive means, whatever contradicts God's perspective is wrong. We read in the book of proverbs 31:30 "favour is deceitful and beauty is vain; But the woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised"
Something I've observed is this-
1. Beauty has the tendency to make one proud
2. Beauty has the ability to make one arrogant
3. Natural beauty has tendency to make one full on herself and despise other less fortunate ones.
Truth is, beauty is not the making of the beautiful. Its just per chance so why get proud over it.
The beautiful die, the "ugly" die, so what is the gain.
Its good to walk within the boundaries because what is outside the boundaries is penalty. Who knows if the Referee will award a "yellow or a red"
I never mean to bring anyone down or to be unkind, but just to allign to what I beleive to be the truth of God's word by sensibly and open heartedly considering the goal of the Bible.