Your Mentor(s) by Steve Watters on 08/28/2007 at 2:00 PM

I never formalized a mentoring relationship until I was in my thirties, but it seems like I've always had a mentor -- someone I've informally learned from about work, relationships, faith, money and life in general.

An administrator at my Christian college gave me a valuable head start in publishing, leading teams and creativity. A professor in graduate school provided timely guidance on calling, marriage and starting a family. A couple of different mentors are currently giving me examples and occasional words of advice about leadership, communication and family development.

We haven't used a curriculum or textbook for our interactions. We've interacted in all kinds of settings and schedules. Some mentors have been more challenging than others. Some have even contradicted the others. The takeaway I've found from each, however, is that they gave me a scouting report -- a heads-up on paths ahead. That heads-up gave me warnings about detours and dead-ends I could have easily taken, but more importantly it gave me additional confidence that I could make it.

What are you learning from your mentor(s)?

Your Mentor(s) by Steve Watters on 08/28/2007 at 2:00 PM

I never formalized a mentoring relationship until I was in my thirties, but it seems like I've always had a mentor -- someone I've informally learned from about work, relationships, faith, money and life in general.

An administrator at my Christian college gave me a valuable head start in publishing, leading teams and creativity. A professor in graduate school provided timely guidance on calling, marriage and starting a family. A couple of different mentors are currently giving me examples and occasional words of advice about leadership, communication and family development.

We haven't used a curriculum or textbook for our interactions. We've interacted in all kinds of settings and schedules. Some mentors have been more challenging than others. Some have even contradicted the others. The takeaway I've found from each, however, is that they gave me a scouting report -- a heads-up on paths ahead. That heads-up gave me warnings about detours and dead-ends I could have easily taken, but more importantly it gave me additional confidence that I could make it.

What are you learning from your mentor(s)?

Comments

[1. Jacob said the following at 2:41 PM on Aug 28:]

1

I'd really like to see Boundless do more in the mentor area, especially encouraging it's readers to seek out younger christians to come along side of.

[2. Vanessa said the following at 6:28 PM on Aug 28:]

2

My mentor is a God-given blessing to me! She has been a prayer partner (and warrior) and a friend too. I've learned so much from her, including the fact that the mentor can get just as much (if not more sometimes) from the relationship as well. She has encouraged me to delve into the scriptures, along with learning to turn my heart and thoughts back to God instead of my problems.

Instead of telling me to "just get over" a problem I was having, she helped me to work it out between me and God and then work it out between myself and any other involved party...but to remember to work with God first.

She has taught me the meaning of sacrifice, the meaning of true friendship, and that while it is okay that I screwed up it is not okay for me to wallow in self pity. And not only that, but she still loved me and refused to give up on me.

I've learned from her wisdom, and I've learned to make better choices based on the principles she was able to teach me. I am so blessed to know her and I'm so blessed for the grace, maturity, wisdom, and love God has shown and taught me through her.

[3. Meg said the following at 8:48 PM on Aug 28:]

3

This is my sophomore year in college, and so far, I've been really blessed as far as interns go. Both my campus minister and his wife are very involved in my life, as well as our campus intern, who graduated 2 years ago. I find the best thing that I receive from them all is the way that they are able to look at my life and see areas in which I am sinning, and then point them out to me in a gentle way. I've learned a great deal about myself and my sin from these wonderful people, and it's refreshing to know that they care enough about me to do this for me.

[4. Ashley said the following at 10:38 PM on Aug 28:]

4

Mostly I'm learning how to become independent of her. My two-year mentor just left for a two-year missions trip with Book of Hope in South Africa. She is an amazing woman of God and has helped me to overcome a lot of the challenges I've faced over the last few years. I'm also learning daily from the beautiful woman I still disciple and I am looking for a Godly older woman to meet with regularly to help me through my next season of major life changes

[5. Chris said the following at 3:43 AM on Aug 29:]

5

I havent had much luck iwth mentors...one relationship just didnt work out- i think it's coz we were matched. But again, there's nothing i'd love as much as having a mentor!
Question...how formal should a mentoring relationship be? Because in my view, it being a formal one takes robs it of the naturalness to be.

[6. annie said the following at 4:39 AM on Aug 29:]

6

i have recently come under a mentor- a lady i knew from my childhood, but whom i lost touch with for about 10 years.

initially,we started off because i had backslid and needed someone to hold me accountable for my walk.

now we've moved on from that crisis and she is my sounding board for issues about work, family, future relationships....

i can honestly say its been a HUGE help, especially because my instinct is to keep things to myself.

of course it can be hard being honest about sin in your life, and areas where you sell your calling short- but for me, it was the only way up and out.

i would like to help create such relationships in my home church- especially in the ministry teams- because, from personal experience, i know that a lot of servants are walking wounded, as vulnerable to sin as the pew-warmer and afraid to let the mask drop.

I dunno how to go about this. Can anyone suggest a book, site, blog...? any tips?

ps: our church is fairly small, 1500 or so in attendance in the main service.

[7. Nelson said the following at 7:42 AM on Aug 29:]

7

I find mentors put myself in a position where I could be challenged. The typical, everyday "church" life usually don't involve people knowing enough about you to make a serious challenge, like, "How are you dealing with sin?", "How are you relating to God?".

[8. cn said the following at 8:27 AM on Aug 29:]

8

I have great mentor. She's in her 50's and a mother of grown children. One of the most important things I've learned from her is how necessary it is to be under spiritual authority (pastors, parents, mentors) and how (and why) that process works best. She's a licensed christian councilor, although our relationship is different from her counseling ministry in that she felt called to MENTOR me. I have similar gifts and callings as she does so felt led to initiated the mentoring process. She's taught me so much about how much freedom is available to all of us through Jesus when we're willing to let him go to the deep places and heal us, and I've learned about how to instill that truth into others. My friendship with my mentor has truly been a blessing from the Lord, one that has shown me how powerfully healing His love is. :)

[9. Carrie said the following at 9:08 AM on Aug 29:]

9

A "fairly small" church with 1500 or so in attendance??? Are you sure you didn't mean "150"?????

Anyhow, back to the subject of mentoring. I've been extremely blessed to find a mentor where ever I am. One of my most recent mentor relationships had to be intitiated by me and it did start out as something formal and structured, but has evolved into a wonderful friendship.
Before college the "mentor" I had was my pastor's wife. From her I learned that its OK to be tossed around in life, but that I need to cling to anchor that is Christ.
In current "mentor" relationships I've learned . . . so much. I don't even know where to begin.
(1) The importance of diligence and obedience.
(2) We serve a faithful Creator and Redeemer.
(3) You can never read too many books.
(4) Communication is very important.
(5) Pray.
(6) Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.
(7) You can't ever possess too much humility this side of heaven.
(8) Striving to be beautiful is not a bad thing.
(9) Striving for happiness and contentment doesn't end at the altar.
(10) Get to know Jesus now because when you're married you'll need Him just as much as you do now.
(11) Joy is found in serving.

[10. Angela said the following at 10:35 AM on Aug 29:]

10

I am so very grateful for God's great providence that came in the form of a mentor! Almost 3 years our paths crossed when I took a part-time position as her nanny for her long awaited 18-month old twins. It wasn't long before we both realized that our stories were very, very similar and that God indeed had a divine plan for our relationship.

Though I'm not her nanny anymore, we continue to email and spend time together. Her guidance, prayers, advice and living example have all been immeasurably important and valuable in my life thus far. She has given me a beautiful picture of what it means to be a faithful wife, mother, daughter and most importantly, a faithful child of God. I also get to see that she's not perfect; she taught me about true repentance and the value of asking for forgiveness from God and others.

What I love most about our relationship is that I don't only receive but I also have opportunities to shine light into her life as well. We've both had times when we've needed a shoulder to cry on. I cannot imagine what the last three years would have been like had God not put us together!

[11. Rachel said the following at 2:49 PM on Aug 29:]

11

I've never had a mentor. Would've been nice, but I've been too shy. So my spiritual life has always been a solo endeavor; one can get pretty far with the Bible and prayer and reading the right books.

But now a few issues are coming up in my life that I really cannot straighten out entirely on my own. At the same time I'm in a church with some excellent priests who offer spiritual direction to all comers, and I've been encouraged by a lot of people to ask one of them. So I think I'm going to bite the bullet. But even after I ask, I'll have to fight my shyness. I'd like a spiritual director to have magic insight into my soul, but I know he'll just have to go on what I tell him. I'll have to force myself to be communicative. :)

[12. Nicole said the following at 4:03 PM on Aug 29:]

12

I haven't had the opportunity to have an "official mentor", but I've been wonderfully blessed and challenged through relationships with my campus staff workers (through an on-campus Christian organization) and other students, with whom I engage in campus ministry.

I've experienced much growth since beginning college through married couples that have invited myself and other students into their homes for Bible studies and who have shared their lives with us in a way that has been both transparent and encouraging.

[13. Athena said the following at 7:47 PM on Aug 29:]

13

I agree that there is no true replacement for having an individual mentor in your life. However, I also agree that it's great to have married couples host bible studies/fellowships in their homes. Seeing a model of what a healthy relationship looks like restores hope for singles that such a relationship is possible, and that it is a joy to practise hospitality as a couple.

On a side note, in some friendships of mine I've found myself being drawn into the role of semi-mentor. This has been mainly because these friends look to me to give counsel or to pray for them, but I don't feel the need to ask for their counsel. Sometimes, these people are even older than me. In situations like these, I remind myself that I've to take a step back: just pray for them and give general support as a friend, because I'm not really qualified to give solid counsel based on life experience strengthened by spiritual discipline.

[1. Jacob said the following at 2:41 PM on Aug 28:]

1

I'd really like to see Boundless do more in the mentor area, especially encouraging it's readers to seek out younger christians to come along side of.

[2. Vanessa said the following at 6:28 PM on Aug 28:]

2

My mentor is a God-given blessing to me! She has been a prayer partner (and warrior) and a friend too. I've learned so much from her, including the fact that the mentor can get just as much (if not more sometimes) from the relationship as well. She has encouraged me to delve into the scriptures, along with learning to turn my heart and thoughts back to God instead of my problems.

Instead of telling me to "just get over" a problem I was having, she helped me to work it out between me and God and then work it out between myself and any other involved party...but to remember to work with God first.

She has taught me the meaning of sacrifice, the meaning of true friendship, and that while it is okay that I screwed up it is not okay for me to wallow in self pity. And not only that, but she still loved me and refused to give up on me.

I've learned from her wisdom, and I've learned to make better choices based on the principles she was able to teach me. I am so blessed to know her and I'm so blessed for the grace, maturity, wisdom, and love God has shown and taught me through her.

[3. Meg said the following at 8:48 PM on Aug 28:]

3

This is my sophomore year in college, and so far, I've been really blessed as far as interns go. Both my campus minister and his wife are very involved in my life, as well as our campus intern, who graduated 2 years ago. I find the best thing that I receive from them all is the way that they are able to look at my life and see areas in which I am sinning, and then point them out to me in a gentle way. I've learned a great deal about myself and my sin from these wonderful people, and it's refreshing to know that they care enough about me to do this for me.

[4. Ashley said the following at 10:38 PM on Aug 28:]

4

Mostly I'm learning how to become independent of her. My two-year mentor just left for a two-year missions trip with Book of Hope in South Africa. She is an amazing woman of God and has helped me to overcome a lot of the challenges I've faced over the last few years. I'm also learning daily from the beautiful woman I still disciple and I am looking for a Godly older woman to meet with regularly to help me through my next season of major life changes

[5. Chris said the following at 3:43 AM on Aug 29:]

5

I havent had much luck iwth mentors...one relationship just didnt work out- i think it's coz we were matched. But again, there's nothing i'd love as much as having a mentor!
Question...how formal should a mentoring relationship be? Because in my view, it being a formal one takes robs it of the naturalness to be.

[6. annie said the following at 4:39 AM on Aug 29:]

6

i have recently come under a mentor- a lady i knew from my childhood, but whom i lost touch with for about 10 years.

initially,we started off because i had backslid and needed someone to hold me accountable for my walk.

now we've moved on from that crisis and she is my sounding board for issues about work, family, future relationships....

i can honestly say its been a HUGE help, especially because my instinct is to keep things to myself.

of course it can be hard being honest about sin in your life, and areas where you sell your calling short- but for me, it was the only way up and out.

i would like to help create such relationships in my home church- especially in the ministry teams- because, from personal experience, i know that a lot of servants are walking wounded, as vulnerable to sin as the pew-warmer and afraid to let the mask drop.

I dunno how to go about this. Can anyone suggest a book, site, blog...? any tips?

ps: our church is fairly small, 1500 or so in attendance in the main service.

[7. Nelson said the following at 7:42 AM on Aug 29:]

7

I find mentors put myself in a position where I could be challenged. The typical, everyday "church" life usually don't involve people knowing enough about you to make a serious challenge, like, "How are you dealing with sin?", "How are you relating to God?".

[8. cn said the following at 8:27 AM on Aug 29:]

8

I have great mentor. She's in her 50's and a mother of grown children. One of the most important things I've learned from her is how necessary it is to be under spiritual authority (pastors, parents, mentors) and how (and why) that process works best. She's a licensed christian councilor, although our relationship is different from her counseling ministry in that she felt called to MENTOR me. I have similar gifts and callings as she does so felt led to initiated the mentoring process. She's taught me so much about how much freedom is available to all of us through Jesus when we're willing to let him go to the deep places and heal us, and I've learned about how to instill that truth into others. My friendship with my mentor has truly been a blessing from the Lord, one that has shown me how powerfully healing His love is. :)

[9. Carrie said the following at 9:08 AM on Aug 29:]

9

A "fairly small" church with 1500 or so in attendance??? Are you sure you didn't mean "150"?????

Anyhow, back to the subject of mentoring. I've been extremely blessed to find a mentor where ever I am. One of my most recent mentor relationships had to be intitiated by me and it did start out as something formal and structured, but has evolved into a wonderful friendship.
Before college the "mentor" I had was my pastor's wife. From her I learned that its OK to be tossed around in life, but that I need to cling to anchor that is Christ.
In current "mentor" relationships I've learned . . . so much. I don't even know where to begin.
(1) The importance of diligence and obedience.
(2) We serve a faithful Creator and Redeemer.
(3) You can never read too many books.
(4) Communication is very important.
(5) Pray.
(6) Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.
(7) You can't ever possess too much humility this side of heaven.
(8) Striving to be beautiful is not a bad thing.
(9) Striving for happiness and contentment doesn't end at the altar.
(10) Get to know Jesus now because when you're married you'll need Him just as much as you do now.
(11) Joy is found in serving.

[10. Angela said the following at 10:35 AM on Aug 29:]

10

I am so very grateful for God's great providence that came in the form of a mentor! Almost 3 years our paths crossed when I took a part-time position as her nanny for her long awaited 18-month old twins. It wasn't long before we both realized that our stories were very, very similar and that God indeed had a divine plan for our relationship.

Though I'm not her nanny anymore, we continue to email and spend time together. Her guidance, prayers, advice and living example have all been immeasurably important and valuable in my life thus far. She has given me a beautiful picture of what it means to be a faithful wife, mother, daughter and most importantly, a faithful child of God. I also get to see that she's not perfect; she taught me about true repentance and the value of asking for forgiveness from God and others.

What I love most about our relationship is that I don't only receive but I also have opportunities to shine light into her life as well. We've both had times when we've needed a shoulder to cry on. I cannot imagine what the last three years would have been like had God not put us together!

[11. Rachel said the following at 2:49 PM on Aug 29:]

11

I've never had a mentor. Would've been nice, but I've been too shy. So my spiritual life has always been a solo endeavor; one can get pretty far with the Bible and prayer and reading the right books.

But now a few issues are coming up in my life that I really cannot straighten out entirely on my own. At the same time I'm in a church with some excellent priests who offer spiritual direction to all comers, and I've been encouraged by a lot of people to ask one of them. So I think I'm going to bite the bullet. But even after I ask, I'll have to fight my shyness. I'd like a spiritual director to have magic insight into my soul, but I know he'll just have to go on what I tell him. I'll have to force myself to be communicative. :)

[12. Nicole said the following at 4:03 PM on Aug 29:]

12

I haven't had the opportunity to have an "official mentor", but I've been wonderfully blessed and challenged through relationships with my campus staff workers (through an on-campus Christian organization) and other students, with whom I engage in campus ministry.

I've experienced much growth since beginning college through married couples that have invited myself and other students into their homes for Bible studies and who have shared their lives with us in a way that has been both transparent and encouraging.

[13. Athena said the following at 7:47 PM on Aug 29:]

13

I agree that there is no true replacement for having an individual mentor in your life. However, I also agree that it's great to have married couples host bible studies/fellowships in their homes. Seeing a model of what a healthy relationship looks like restores hope for singles that such a relationship is possible, and that it is a joy to practise hospitality as a couple.

On a side note, in some friendships of mine I've found myself being drawn into the role of semi-mentor. This has been mainly because these friends look to me to give counsel or to pray for them, but I don't feel the need to ask for their counsel. Sometimes, these people are even older than me. In situations like these, I remind myself that I've to take a step back: just pray for them and give general support as a friend, because I'm not really qualified to give solid counsel based on life experience strengthened by spiritual discipline.