The Twentysomething Church Disconnect
by Steve Watters on 08/07/2007 at 1:40 PM
Are you plugged in to a local church? 70% of Protestants 18 to 30 who attended church regularly in high school stop attending by age 23. Of those, 34% said they have not returned. This was the finding by LifeWay Research that ran today in USA Today. Why do young adults leave? Here are the reasons they cited:
• Wanted a break from church: 27%
• Found church members judgmental or hypocritical: 26%
• Moved to college: 25%
• Tied up with work: 23%
• Moved too far away from home church: 22%
• Too busy: 22%
• Felt disconnected to people at church: 20%
• Disagreed with church's stance on political/social issues: 18%
• Spent more time with friends outside church: 17%
• Only went before to please others: 17%
Among the 30% who continued to attend church, here were the reasons:
• It's vital to my relationship with God: 65%
• It helps guide my decision in everyday life: 58%
• It helps me become a better person: 50%
• I am following a family member's example: 43%
• Church activities were a big part of my life: 35%
• It helps in getting through a difficult time: 30%
• I fear living without spiritual guidance: 24%
Which group are you in? What is driving your church attendance or disengagement?
1. v@v said the following at 1:54 PM on Aug 7:
I am so passionate about this, my heart skips a beat every time someone speaks about being plugged into a home church. I fall in the second group -- I practically grew up in my church, but technically have been an active member for the last 11 years.
Yes, my church attendance is vital to my spiritual growth (faith comes from hearing the Word), friendships, etc. Church attendance/commitment/leadership has taught me how to serve, which has guided me and blessed me in my secular work endeavors.
Above all, not coming from a conventional Christian home, with parents who don't serve the Lord, I am fully convinced one of the major reasons I still serve the Lord today, and that God has kept me, is that I have had a strong church family as a backbone to encourage and pray for me.
Young people -- there will always be hypocrites (they show up at your jobs all the time, you don't stop going to work, do you?), occasional discord between people, etc. So what? Work it out, it's what families do. If it's so bad, find another church. But whatever you do, "do not give up the habit of meeting together." Get connected to people who want to see you victorious in the Lord!
2. Jacob said the following at 1:57 PM on Aug 7:
I wasn't always excited about going to church. Growing up, it was something we always did, and I understood it to be just one of the things that Christians do. When I went off to college, I understood that it was important, so I was always in church on sunday, though week to week, often different churches. When I started changing my theological views, it occurred to me that I really ought to find one that I agree with, instead of being disgruntled with the pastor ever week. So, I found a church, and not only was I blessed with a pastor who would faithfully exposit the Word, but a community of Christians who knew how to show love to a bunch of college students. Through attending that church for two and a half years, God quickened in me a love for corporate worship and study of the Scriptures. I've since graduated, but finding a new church is one of my top priorities once I settle into a job.
3. Simon said the following at 2:41 PM on Aug 7:
I've recently stopped going to church, though I'm continuing to attend bible study and other small group activities. Here are some of my reasons:
- I feel that what I'm getting in church isn't engaging and relevant enough to my life and how I interact with the world. The sermons I've sat through are theologically correct but left me asking "but what's the point?" By the way, the church I attended while I was away at college had excellent, engaging, and relevant sermons. I stayed there for four years.
- I find that the messages I get in church are too therapeutic and not challenging enough. I'm not encouraged to take risks and to step outside of the play-it-safe messages that I got when I was growing up.* When I am, it is only in a limited spiritual context (e.g. evangelism), not in a way that I can apply to all areas of my life.
- The Sunday environment has too much pressure to put on a facade. I prefer the authenticity of small group settings.
- At the same time, I also want to take time off from church to inspect my own attitudes toward church -- that maybe I should go not as just a receiver but also as a giver.
*Thank you, Boundless, for having written many such encouragements to step out, take risks, and trust God (especially regarding dating/courtship)!
4. Michele said the following at 2:44 PM on Aug 7:
I grew up Catholic, and fell away from regular church attendance around the age of 19. When I got plugged into a Protestant church at the age of 21, churchgoing became a regular thing for me.
I did stop attending church for awhile, though, between the ages of 24 and 26. Part of it was because the church I attended was, I felt, bad for me. The huge emphasis on marriage and the meat-market feel of singles Sunday school were harmful to my spiritual growth and made me bitter. I didn't like that, so I left. It took some time to find a new place, mostly because I was transitioning to a new city and trying to find my place in the scheme of things, but now I am once again a regular churchgoer, at a good Bible-centered Christian church.
5. ShadowCat17 said the following at 2:49 PM on Aug 7:
Check out this blog - it's a group of young adults who are striving to delve into the reasons our generation drops away from church, and to come up with some positive solutions:
http://widlca.blogspot.com/
"So as my friends and I explore why we don’t like church anymore, as we share our stories, vent our frustrations, and decipher our experiences, my hope is that some answers to questions like these will emerge:
What does Jesus intend his church to be? What role in reform are we called to play? What does a culturally relevant, Biblically faithful church filled with passionate people on mission look like in our region?
As we deconstruct, may we also rebuild. As we vent, may we look to reform. May we find a solution to the problem at hand."
6. k. said the following at 3:10 PM on Aug 7:
I quit going to church at one point (because of general disillusionment). But I went back because, even though I tried to give up on God, He didn't give up on me.
7. Elena said the following at 3:37 PM on Aug 7:
{I'm almost 32. Was saved at 23. So... take that into account.}
Not sure about anyone else, but I find that my absences from church result from a vicious cycle of procrastination, disobedience, guilt/shame, stress, and avoidance. It has little to do with the church, although, like most any church, it does have its areas of needed improvement.
So why do I go to church? Why am I member?
Well, despite my season of apathy/rebellion/dryness/depression/adultescence... I am a Christian. Being part of the church is a responsibility. Plus it's where I have put down long, deep roots. It's my family. And I have responsibilities there. I've committed to being a member, to being there, to contibuting myself and my resources there.
Also I see being part of a church and its being part of me as integral to my growing up as a Christian and as an adult human being. And my being involved in the bodylife of the church is integral to its growth as well. (Oh, and church membership and involvement is required for my job, so that prevents me from taking an extended "sabbatical" from formal church involvement. [Not sure that I'd want to, but maybe a fast from the busyness would help put things in perspective. I don't know.])
My church would have to go way downhill in quality of lots of things in order for me to just up and leave. Or God would have to call me to go invest myself specifically in another church. (We have an overabundance to choose from in this city.)
I think the biggest thing for me is having a real relationship with God, devoid of all the irritating cliché'd ideas of what "having a relationship with God" is all about. Ya know... not go by someone else's plan or formula.
That's where I am.
So... do I defy the categories? ;o)~
8. Ivy said the following at 3:58 PM on Aug 7:
I'm like k. I went to church, fell away for a while, but God called me back. Now I'm totally connected and have people ask where I am if I miss a prayer meeting or Sunday night service for any reason. I love it!
9. Cat said the following at 4:44 PM on Aug 7:
At first I only went to church to please my parents, but now I really want to go to church. I really want community, but I am having trouble finding the right church for myself.
10. mindlab said the following at 5:13 PM on Aug 7:
"[I feel] disconnected to people at church: 20%"
That's me. I'm going to a small Reformed Presby church that meets in the local library, and "disconnected" is exactly the word for it. As a graduate student with no children, no spouse, and no time, it seems that I have very little in common with most of the members. Despite my efforts to strike up conversations/discover common interests, I've gotten nowhere. the excellent expository preaching is the only reason I go.
I've always felt that programs (ie. 'singles group' uhgh!) that split the church up into subgroups and attempted to enforce mixing were unnatural and unnecessary, but obviously something needs to change.
11. Maggie said the following at 6:03 PM on Aug 7:
My husband and I just moved to a new city and we are looking for a new church to go to. It is so frustrating for me! We have been looking for about 2 months, and we haven't really found a place that we feel we really connect with. It's also hard to know exactly what to be looking for.
Anyway, I definitely feel a strong need to be connected in a church...that's not the problem...the problem is finding the church we're called to be part of.
12. Dan said the following at 6:09 PM on Aug 7:
I believe that the lack of church attendance can be put down to the wider problem of too much choice and lack of loyalty, resulting from a selfish attitude. I can't find anywhere in the bible that says that church is optional and that we should go if it suits us. I've been involved in the church I'm in now for a couple of years, not because I necessarily fit in, and I can tell you that those years have been the most turbulent in our churches 80 year history. However I know that the church I'm in is the one where God has planted me, and I am called to serve my pastor as the man that God has put in authority over my life, and that bringing people to Christ and discipling them is God's heartbeat, that's what its all about.
13. ptschett said the following at 6:54 PM on Aug 7:
I guess I'm in both categories!
Being 150 miles from home, I can manage a weekend visit about twice a month, so I get to my home church then.
But, I still haven't found a local church to belong to where I live... even defining 'local' as anywhere I can get to in one hour. Mostly because my Anabaptist take on baptism really limits my options in a place that's mostly Lutheran.
14. RH said the following at 9:01 PM on Aug 7:
BLUF: Be careful not to downplay the importance of having a church home. Paul had a point when he wrote that as the body of Christ, one part trying to get by without the rest of the body is never gonna make it.
Growing up, I had quite the drug problem: my parents drug me to church on Sunday morning, they drug me to church on Sunday evening, they drug me to church on Wednesday evening, and they even drug me up there other days in the week if something was going on or the church needed help with something. :)
Admitedly, I never resented being "drug" up there. I absolutely love my home church. I'm working part-time in the office there while I'm home this summer, and I am beyond happy spending all day with folks who've known me since I was 2 years old and helped raise me and train me in the Lord.
I can't imagine not being plugged into a church; as soon as I got to college I immediately got to know several of the chaplains on post and got involved in the chapel, a few Bible studies, and teaching Sunday school. I had some amazing mentors there, and my brothers and sisters in the Lord were truly like family to me. Their support and accountability pushed me and strengthened me incredibly.
Right now, I'm fixing to head to China for a year abroad, and I'm a bit nervous about finding a church home there. I've tried making contact with Campus Crusade at the university I'll be living at for the next 11 months without much luck. However, I know that fellowship and corporate worship is important, and I trust that I will not go my whole time there without a church. In fact, I'm really looking forward to joining a home church in my new city; it reminds me of the early church and is something I most likely could not experience in the US. Actually, I've been told by folks who've done ministry over there that someone at a home church will probably quietly approach me at my campus asking me to join them rather than me hunting through the city for a church I think I like. Quite the role reversal of "church shopping" here, isn't it?
15. dave said the following at 9:46 PM on Aug 7:
I would like to give another perspective. I go to the Journey Church in St Louis, MO www.journeyon.net which is part of the acts 29 network. Our average age is 27 and we are growing like wildfire. Our problem is that we dont have enough older people. I started 4 year ago when we were 200 now we are 1600. Our leadership of deacons and community group leaders are filled with people in there 20s and early 30s. I think what has attracted people is that we present the the truth of the gospel in a contextualize way that people can understand and meet people where they are and obviously God has had his hand on us big time. There are alot of young people going to church. At least where I live.
I say find a church that preaches the gospel and and start loving people there.
16. dave said the following at 10:06 PM on Aug 7:
I guess you were looking for more reasons why young people attend our church. Due to the lack of older people there is a real need for young people to serve. Im 28 and became a deacon 3 years ago. I always thought deacons were old bald, pot belly guys with glasses. We have a strong weekly bible study small groups that meet in people homes. It gives people the chance to live life together and experience community often missing from college. There are lots of places to serve and use your gifts. There are cool people to meet. I have had older men pour into my life and I am now getting to meet some couples that have shown meet what marriage was all about. I have been in a wedding, met 2 roommates, met a girlfriend, had a friend tell me I am selfish, people have been there for me after I lost 2 jobs and have had friends love me help me sort my life out. I have gone from insecure Christian to deacon and bible study leader. I am becoming the man of God I was meant to be because of the people in the church that loved me. In short, my church experience has been awesome. I dont know where I would be without it. What I dont understand is how people make it in new city without a church. I would have been desperately lonely.
I will say it again. Find a church that preaches the gospel. Meet people there and serve in the church.
17. Melody said the following at 12:02 AM on Aug 8:
Second category. I knew I had to plug into a church as soon as I moved away for University.
Right now, I don't feel like going to church. ... This mostly has to do with a bunch of the YA that has started ignoring me and it hurts a lot to sit a row behind someone only to be looked straight through at the lovely "shake people's hands and say hello" ... It hurts. More so because I don't know why.
Anyway... I'm a second grouper. I know I need to have a church home and need to attend... The pull of the world would become too much for me otherwise. And as much as I'd like to just give in to the pull, I know that I'd never escape the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
18. Lissa said the following at 2:16 AM on Aug 8:
You know, I keep hearing all this stuff about "stop dating the church" and how as Christians, we should commit to the "local" church, for a number of reasons.
Now, I don't want to sound like I disagree with this...not at all, it sounds like a wonderful thing. But I'm having trouble seeing it realisitically in my life.
My situation is somewhat unique. I was blessed by being born into a loving, very Christian home, and I became saved at a young age. My parents raised me and my siblings as Christians, and we were even homeschooled for a while. The problem is, we haven't been closely involved or committed to a church for a long time. In fact, throughout most of my life, we have been "looking" for a good church to settle into, but for some reason, we just can't find one that seems right for us. I know that might sound arrogant, but my parents had some bad experiences early on (they were basically excommunicated for leaving a cult-like church early in their marriage), then the next two we tried lasted a couple years each, but then fell apart on their own.
In looking for churches, which are abundant in our city...in every different denomination and size...we have basically found two types of churches: very small ones that, while seeming more intimate, reminds us of the cult-experience (may be too legalistic or could easily fall apart), and huge, mega-churches that my parents have a problem with because of how much they segregate all ages into a million different programs and how they seem to be more about growing in size and less about growing closer as a family of God (perhaps too liberal, or harder to get to know people).
Anyway, my family's issues aside, I, as a young adult still living at home (I am currently a student), I'm having a hard time deciding what I personally should do. I really want to find a good church. I have been praying about it for a long time. I want to go to a church with my family, as I am close to them and since they would like me to, as well, however I am frusterated that they seem to be so picky at finding one. That being said, it isn't like they haven't tried and like we haven't looked. I think I could "settle" at a few of the churches that they still might not feel fully comfortable at, but I'm not sure if I should just go out on my own, or if I should wait and try to find one with them.
Also, how do I just "find" the right church? If there was one, "local" church in my area, it would be easy. As it is, there are about a billion, and I have friends at several churches who have invited me to each of theirs. Which one do I go to? Finally, I understand how Christians need to get more involved and commited to the church, but what if the church itself is flawed and needs to fix some things? How come it seems that that is never addressed? I totally agree with "maggie's" comment: "I definitely feel a strong need to be connected in a church...that's not the problem...the problem is finding the church we're called to be part of."
Well, I know this is super long, and you don't have to post it, but if anyone could help me with some of these questions, I'd really appreciate it! :)
19. Melanie said the following at 6:17 AM on Aug 8:
I suppose I fell into the disconnected category, although I never stopped attending church altogether; I'd usually just try a new one after 2-8 weeks, depending. This was a cycle for years. When you're living in a new area (for college, work, etc.) and you show up for church alone, you more than likely fall through the cracks. I can't count how many Sundays I showed up for church early, found a seat, sat through the sermon and went home without a single person noticing me, asking my name, introducing themselves. . . I suppose many churches assume that the form letter that follows returning the visitor's card fulfills this purpose, but it doesn't. Trying to plug in to churches that don't even acknowledge your existence is a painful, awkward and embarrassing experience. The only thing that kept me coming back was the hope that I'd eventually find one that fit, because I've been in great churches before, but it's made me a bit of a church-shopping cynic. I can hear Christian music and sermons on the radio. If I can't be part of the community, why even waste my time going through the emotional pounding of being alone in a crowd?
I'm fortunate to attend a church know where I know the congregation, and they know me, and I have a place. But I can easily see lots of people who were on the fence about Christianity giving up long before I did in the face of apparent apathy to their presence.
20. Brittany said the following at 6:59 AM on Aug 8:
Good day!
So for the past three years since I went to college, I've struggled with going to church. I haven't felt comfortable, connected, etc...and just slowly stopped attending.
Then this summer, my Gran'ma (in her amazing wisdom) told me something that has completely changed my perspectcive about church-going:
since when was church REALLY about ME and what I want? Going to church is about servanthood (just like our faith). Yes, God is kinda concerned with our happiness...but when did he say that doing what he asked of us would make us jump for joy all the time?
So this semester I will go back with a sense of purpose-to serve where I'm needed...not just go if I 'feel connected'...and hopefully be challeneged to grow with that new attitude :)
Oh yeah and YAY! School's starting!!!
21. Chrysti said the following at 7:40 AM on Aug 8:
I grew up in the church, and mostly went to please my parents even after I accepted Christ at the young age of 9. Many times in high school I went reluctantly.
When I went to college, however, I quickly found a church I could plug in to, and that's all she wrote. When I moved back home, I found the need to find a new church home (not the one I went to in high school). I think that going to church is absolutely necessary for my spiritual growth, as well as for the fellowship with other brothers and sisters! I don't think I'd be here with out that!
So to answer your question, Steve, I was in the first group, but now I'm in the second one by far. :o)
22. Robert J Espe said the following at 7:40 AM on Aug 8:
Most of the categories in the poll seemed to reflect the lack of community these people felt in their church. After all, they said "church members" were hypocritical, not "friends". The church is the body of Christ, fellowship with my friends is the only thing that keeps me going to my church (but it is a strong thing)
We move so often in this country we never build real community. We won't value the friends we make if we are moving again soon. I think the fact that we never put down roots anywhere is the reason we shift into a consumer mindset for church, just show up, take what you can, and move on.
23. John said the following at 8:58 AM on Aug 8:
I am still a member of a large church but rarely attend that church anymore, for logistical as well as theoological reasons. I attend, but have not joined, one or two other churches in my area.
You will occasionally see the notion expressed, often by Southern Baptists, that those who don't regularly attend church must not love the brethren and therefore are not really saved. (Mark Dever says that if you don't regularly attend a church of which you are a member, you may be going to hell. So much for salvation by faith alone.) I do enjoy going to church, hearing the Word preached, singing the hymns, taking the Lord's Supper and meeting with other believers, but it's so much more complicated than that.
As Lissa noted, there isn't just one local church anymore, as there was in apostolic days (the church at Corinth or the church at Pittsburgh). There are churches of every size and every denomination, and some are better than others. Some are shining lights, and some have real problems. Committing to a church is a serious decision.
Also, I've never entirely understood the notion that the pastor was in authority over me. If I see him at all, he's just the guy shaking my hand on the way out of the service. Even if he remembers my name he can't know what is going on in my life or have much control over it.
24. Justice said the following at 9:38 AM on Aug 8:
So what do you do if you feel you want to stop going? I know I need it but months later I don't want to attend my church anymore, I want to go to a church where you see God move ya know, where when you go people are passionate and you sense the Holy Spirit.
What is one to do?
25. Paul said the following at 11:58 AM on Aug 8:
I can relate to items from both lists:
I find quite a few church members judgmental or hypocritical (some are bullies or take advantage of a little goodwill), I do have a lot of work commitments and I'm generally very busy. I feel disconnected to people at church (and pretty much isolated on the grounds of age) and I often disagree with my church's political/social apathy.
On the other hand, the church is vital to my relationship with God, and it does often have something relavant to say that helps guide my decision in everyday life and helps me become a better person, living with spiritual guidance. Also Church activities are a big part of my life (though this is probably more a consequence than a cause of my churchgoing).
I suspect I'm not alone, and that there are many other people strugling with the conflict of a fallen community that is pushing them away while a faithful God draws them closer. Some of us remain in our churches, but for many the balance tips the other way. Certainly none of us on the fringes of the church (whether inside or out) are able to fulfil the potential that God has for us. Perhaps some people are happy on the fringes, but I would rather be accepted as an integral part of the church than told that "the church is not suitable for you, come back in your forties" (no kidding, I was told that by a church leader once!).
Thank you for this Steve, it is good to hear people starting to ask why a generation thinks it has abandoned or been abandoned by the church.
26. Joe said the following at 7:53 PM on Aug 8:
In response to Justice and others --
You need to start going. I wish there were a more interesting or quirky answer, but there is not. The primary purpose behind weekly services, and indeed arguably behind the church itself, is simply to woship God collectively. For that it does not matter what you get out of the church, whether you are comfortable with the atmosphere or not, not even how many opportunities there are for you to serve -- it is entirely God-focused. You enter in as a worshipper, first and foremost.
If that sounds a bit harsh, maybe it needs to be. I think we all know that the desire to stop attending church regularly springs from selfishness -- I don't get enough from this church, I don't feel welcomed, I don't feel challenged. The church is not primarily for humans, it is first for glorifying God. Go and worship with others.
27. Amber Hooks said the following at 8:10 PM on Aug 8:
The number one reason why I go to church is because "it's vital to my relationship with God"; yet, I think that another important factor that keeps me going is that I love just being around the people at my church. My church has a great singles ministry and college ministry. Long story short, I went to a college out of state and I really liked that church that I attended there, but the problem every summer was finding a church at home. Well, this summer I checked out one church and I kept going not only because the preaching was excellent, but the people there didn't make me feel like an outsider...it's kind of like I've been attending the church for a long time and not just for 2 1/2 months.
28. Andrew (tlw) said the following at 9:22 PM on Aug 8:
What happens to younger people in churches?
As you age and outgrow young adult groups composed of college-aged singles, churches become a lonely place. Unless you have a ministry with children, it seems to me that there is no place in many churches for unmarried single adults over 25.
It seems unfortunately common that young people fade out of churches in their early twenties, and return once they are married and have children. Perhaps they want to instil moral teaching? I don’t know.
I know/knew many people who have left churches claiming they couldn’t get along with people, didn’t like the music/pastor/worshipleader/car park signage etc. I’m going through one of those phases now, so I do understand.
But having to work at getting along IS good practise for the rest of our life. Families and workplaces also have people and rules we don’t always agree with.
But I do understand why people leave. People like to categorise and single adults often don’t fit neatly into any particular box. If I was visiting a church to check it out for suitability, I would normally go with a close friend.
If there are no close relationships through home groups, mid-week meetings or such-like, then its not surprising that young adults drift away.
29. Ellie said the following at 11:24 AM on Aug 10:
Here were/are my unfortunate reasons....
• Found church members judgmental or hypocritical
• Moved to college
• Moved too far away from home church
• Too busy
• Felt disconnected to people at church
I moved halfway through high school, and never got another church. I was heartbroken over leaving my old one, which I had been in for two and a half years. It was my first home church ever.
I didn't get another church those last two years of high school. My mom and stepdad dabbled in a variety of churches, but didn't commit to attending anything until a few months ago (I'm now halfway through college). I could have (and often did) go without them, but I never really stuck around.
I found out that my old home church disintegrated after a mini-war. The Christian school I'd grown up in was plummeting downwards after a number of scandals. So was the one I ended up graduating from. I became somewhat disillusioned, wondering if anyone was sincere.
I've been at the same church now for a year and a half out of my two at college (my first six months I pretty much went nowhere, didn't even try), and loathe the idea of leaving, after a lifetime of church-shopping and non-commitment....but now I'm starting to think that I need to, due to some serious spiritual issues in the church. I don't really know what to do. At first I thought it was just because I've been "unhappy" there, and I wasn't going to leave for that. But now I think God might actually be showing me more.
That's my (long) 2 cents. I see those reasons listed very clearly in my own life and in others'. I know that people can (and will) fail. I know that I have to commit to the Church first. I know that I shouldn't allow the hectic-ness of my life to crowd out part of the life God has for me. And so I hope to get rid of each of those reasons and trade them for some of the following:
• It's vital to my relationship with God
• It helps guide my decision in everyday life
• It helps me become a better person
• Church activities were a big part of my life
• It helps in getting through a difficult time
• I fear living without spiritual guidance
30. Zeph Greenwell said the following at 2:05 PM on Aug 10:
I'm 22 and I personally find church boring. I think it caters to an older crowd because that is the largest audience. However, I still go.
I feel like Church helps me stay connected to the community and its the easiest place to make Christian friends. There aren't many people around my age at my Church, or any other church I know of, but there are plenty of people at the same point in their life. I am married and have a six month old boy so its really one of the easiest place to relate to the people I'm around.
31. Lauren said the following at 9:07 PM on Aug 10:
I attended several good churches in college, and after college I was the lone single person in my home church for long enough.:)
Like many of you, I have experienced the "Twentysomething Church Disconnect" firsthand. However, I believe going to church is about more than feeling an amazing "connection" when you are there. We all have a genuine need to be accepted and loved by others, but I think we place too much emphasis on whether WE feel connected or whether the music or sermon was suited to OUR taste. I appreciated Brittany's comment about church not being all about us, but about servanthood. What about commitment to our God? What about going to church to learn more about Him and grow closer in our relationship with Him? We may have to go through some awkward situations where we don't fit in that well or even know anybody. But don't you think it would please Him to see that we're trying to be faithful anyway? :)
32. Jessica said the following at 7:31 PM on Mar 16:
I guess you could say that I'm "out of church." Right now I don't feel the need to go. My home church is where I grew up in since we moved here to WA. state when I was 10, but it's so dinky and small, that I don't feel like I relate to it much anymore. I've been off to college and completed college in 2006, and during college I was participating in this big church down in California, and it was great for me, because I was with other people my age. Having grown up in an independent Baptist background, it's hard to find churches around here that are still biblically-based but yet not too compromising on everything else. Perhaps I'm looking for the "perfect" church. The area that I live in is not conducive to really great Bible-preaching, teaching churches. Being young, I don't know what to believe, really. I'm a saved born-again Christian, but I guess my philosophy is, if it's thriving, and God is blessing it and people are getting saved, use any method to get people saved. How does a 25 year old single Christian lady figure out what she believes? Is she SUPPOSED to attend the church she grew up in? I think it's an unspoken rule at the church I grew up in that "you're only supposed to go to the church that your parents -that you were brought up in." It's hard, if you're back to living with your parents, you're single, you're a woman, and you want to exert SOME independence, but yet you don't know what to believe. The basic teaching that Christ died, and rose again for me so that I could go to heaven, I believe of course, but is DOCTRINE really all that important, if you have a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ? Are there really only a FEW churches that are ACTUALLY teaching the Bible, and not their own hype and harping about doctrine, and their OWN beliefs? Where do we draw the line at man's beliefs and GOD'S words when it comes to the pulpit? If there's someone reading this who can answer my questions I would dearly appreciate it. Some churches are good at telling you what to believe, but they FAIL to be able to EXPLAIN to you WHY you should believe and practice it. If there's someone here who can help me out, I'd love it if you would post a response on this website, even if this post of mine doesn't pass. I guess I'd go to church for the fellowship and friendship-trouble is, people don't seem to take you seriously or want to be friends with you or are AT the same stage in life with you if you are single, and they are married. It's like you have this incurable disease, and you'll only be "accepted" or "in the groove" or "in the LOOP" if you're married, and get OUT of this "troublesome, unmarried state."