Guys, this isn't a battle you can win. Just accept that women appreciate it when you close the lid. Don't question it. Just do it. Every time.
That is all.
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And I just love it (yeah, right!) when guys sometimes say, "Why don't *women* put the seat UP when they're done!"
Ted is right, seat goes down. It is what it is.
So, a little non-sequitor, but I read a hand-made sign in a country store that said: "My aim is to keep this bathroom clean; your aim will help." I think this sort of relates to the seat up thing --- or not. :-)
With three guys in my family (not counting my dad even), my mom figured she'd get us off on the right foot ... the seat ALWAYS stays down. :-)
Close the lid, and aim better. I'm not a guy so I don't know, but I can't imagine it'd be all THAT difficult to get it IN the toilet! :) Thanks, Ted...
Xeres, your comment made me smile. :-) Ted and I did have a conversation about it last night. I don't remember how it came up, but I was actually complimenting him on always putting it down. In our almost 5 years of marriage, it's never been an issue. Which is something I really appreciate!
Just accept that women appreciate it when you close the lid.
What is the "it" pronoun in the sentence above? My theory is that most women appreciate that the lid is closed, but not necessarily the person who closed it.
This is not to say that the motivation of lid closers should be recognition; this is to remind all that lids do not close by themselves.
Good behaviour is better promulgated through positive reinforcement than by going nuts when it is not performed or taking it for granted when it is.
Thanks Ted-you are a smart man, and I can tell that you have learned the lesson that so few seem to have mastered. Another hearty amen from this boundless reader! ;)
Funny; I get minorly annoyed when women use my 'office' and leave the lid up with the seat down. The lid was down when they got there... and lid down is just practical because things can fall in accidentally. So, I sometimes wonder... are these women trying to make some kind of statement by leaving just the seat down in my bachelor bathroom? - because they do it consistently.
Jonathan, I believe the object of the pronoun "it" in Ted's post is the action of closing the lid, or perchance it is that happy state of closed-ness of the lid.
Personally, I think everyone should just put the whole lid/seat/whatever down. Seriously, it takes less than a second to open it, and keeping the lid down prevents a) your dog from drinking out of it, and b) stuff from the customary above-the-toilet shelves from falling in.
The seat and lid both being down benefits everyone because it prevents millions of germs from becoming airborne and contaminating the entire bathroom, in addition to the individual who flushed the toilet.
Sarah's exactly right.
When you flush the toilet, the liquids in it swirl about, generating a slight "spray." If the lid is up, this misty spray ends up settling on the seat of the toilet and on the floor around the toilet.
By not only putting the seat down, but the lid down as well, this filthy spray will stay in the toilet, rather than around the bathroom. On the other hand, if you leave the lid up when you flush the toilet, you're spreading a light yellowish mist of yuckiness around the toilet where it can be picked up by hands and feet ... and eventually end up in your mouth.
Another reason to just put the lid down. Yuck.
Next week's blog post: "Just Wash Your Hands."
From my point of view (as a guy), lid down is extremely important! When you flush with an open lid, water (and other) particles travels up to 6 meters in all directions. I, for one do not keep my toothbrush in a cupboard, but I just started re-evaluating that situation.
In my house, we always know when a particular friend of my brother's has been around...the seat is left up everytime.
There is a general rule in our house that if someone leaves it up, we will determine who it was and specifically tell them to go put it down.
You'd think the friend would have remembered after the embarassment of the first time...guess not...
Closed lids save cellphones (and other small objects like wallets, keys, and toothbrushes). This seems like reason enough to me.
If you prefer a more robust mathematical/economic analysis of the situation (employing game theory), I would suggest this excellent research paper.
During the years when we had 1 bathroom for 4 people -- 2 of them male -- I can't count how many times I almost "fell in" because of the seat being up. It just seemed like the decent thing to do in case one of the females had a very full bladder. I took it personally if the seat was up.
hehehehehe
This is an absolute!!!
Recently I had my house inspected since I am moving, and the inspector used the toilet and did NOT flush it!!! YUCK!!! And, since my girls were at their dad's for a week, I didn't go anywhere around that bathroom and didn't notice it for a few days. Eewwwwwww!!!
Bleach is a staple in my house :)
I knew a mom once who had her husband teach their two boys to not only put the seat and lid down, but to also wipe up anything necessary around or on the commode before leaving the bathroom - now THAT'S how it should be taught to ALL little boys!!!!!!!
If you want to know how much water sprays out of the toilet when it is flushed, just flush it when you're on it the next time. Maybe that'll scare you into keeping the lid down.
What astounds me is that this is an issue in households...When my sister and I were young, we put both down so that neither of us could fall in, but since we've been older the only rule is to leave it like you used it. It has always amazed me that this causes people problems. But then, I am a guy, so maybe I'm just thick...
Yes, when the lid is closed your chances of dropping anything in the toilet go down entirely. Also, if you've got little ones, it eliminates the shock of walking into the bathroom to find your toddler washing their hands in the toilet water. I don't have kids, but I've seen my siblings/cousins do it often enough. Why the toilet water, when the sink is a foot away?
I completely didn't realize what this was talking about until I read the comments. I thought it was about guys not talking and arguing with women, not about toilet seats, and thought, "Well, that's a little odd..."
Thanks for the giggles. =)
Charlotte, that's hillarious. Because, if you interpret "the lid" to mean a guys mouth, this takes on completely different meaning. LOL
We have a nice little saying in our house that somewhat relates:
If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
My hubsand always puts the lid down, so no issues with that. :)
Haha, in all honesty, I think it is such a petty thing for women to complain about to their husbands. I mean he has to lift it up every time HE uses it! So you need it down, he needs it up. Big deal. I hate how it's become the stereotypical thing to depict married couples as arguing over.
At our place, the seat ... and the lid ... go down.
That way, everybody has to do something.
It's only fair.
Frankly, I never leave the lid up. It looks ugly.
Besides, do you know how many cell phones die each year because of this?
This one's definitely not reserved for the guys. Ladies, we should put the seat down as well! I can't tell you how many times my habit of keeping the lid closed has saved socks, cell phone, undergarments, keys, you-name-it... from landing in the toilet! It's just a smart idea.
The water closet adjoining the bedroom of the lovely Mrs. farmer and myself is so small, that one must go out of the water closet to change ones mind. Leaving the lid up is an invitation for all manner of things to wind up in the open bowl. With a cabinet over the toilet, one over the sink which can be used from the toilet, everything falls in or near that toilet.
I have been know to yell rather loudly at my children to shut the lid!!!!! Usually right after my tooth brush fell.......
I guess it can be seen as petty, but it'll affect you every day (I hope!) for couple decades. Might as well nip it at the bud...
The other petty things I hear being joked about are:
How to squeeze toothpaste (middle or the end)
How to load the toilet paper (the sheet goes over or goes under)
Katie wrote the following:
In my house, we always know when a particular friend of my brother's has been around...the seat is left up everytime.
There is a general rule in our house that if someone leaves it up, we will determine who it was and specifically tell them to go put it down.
You'd think the friend would have remembered after the embarassment of the first time...guess not...
I personally think that is going overboard and - dare I say - rude. You're having your brother's best-friend come-over just so he can put the toilet-lid down?!
It may be a quirk of his. A bad quirk, but a quirk nonetheless.
It's just my opinion, but I think you and your family may be out-of-line, much less making mountains out of molehills.
- Marc
P.S. I totally understand and respect ladies in my family and their respective wishes for the toilet-seat to be kept down... Just for the record.
Hmmm...no one with pets has commented yet. Do you really want your cat or dog to play in whatever water is handy, then go climb on you?
"If you want to know how much water sprays out of the toilet when it is flushed, just flush it when you're on it the next time. Maybe that'll scare you into keeping the lid down."
Yes - another reason I hate automatic flushing toilets in public restrooms...
lol =)
I think it's almost unconscious, I don't even know what I do when I go in a non public restroom.
Why do all the cell phones fall in toilets? Are people using them while in proximity? Now, THAT is gross... I mean, you press your cell phone to your face ... why would you use it near the toilet? :-p
When I visited some parts of Asia I had a much bigger problem than the lid -- there was no toilet. Just a nice letrine on the floor with no instruction manual. Let's just say -- it took a while.
Nick, this is very true. I have a personal ick-factor to the talking on the phone while on the toilet thing. However, it's even weirder when, say, you go to the restroom at work and someone in the stall next to you is having an entire conversation...while on the toilet.
v@v -- I can totally relate to the Asian toilets! I was "warned" about them and completely forgot until I was in the Tokyo airport and was trying to attend to an "emergency". I almost cried because I couldn't figure out what to do!!
Marc,
I don't think you quite understand the situation. Putting the seat down has been a standard rule in the house. And the friend has been told many, many times not to leave it up. He's practically family, so, no, we don't embarass visitors or other friends. I would not call this a quirk. Quirks, by their very definition, are just unusual personality traits. I don't think leaving the seat up is a trait (rather a learned behavior), and I dare say, it's rather rude of him to leave it up when there is a house rule of which he is well aware.
v@v,
Haha! I visited Japan once, and took a picture of the typical floor toilet. When my dad saw the picture, he thought it was a urinal (and couldn't figure out why I had my feet on the wall next to it). :D
I don't care if guys put the lid down or not, I just want the SEAT down!
(Look at it this way, guys: there are two things each gender does in the toilet. For women, they need to sit for both. For guys, they need to sit for one. Therefore, 3 out of 4 times, the person needs to be seated. Therefore, it's logical that the seat remains down except for that 1 out of 4 times!)
Marc- I doubt they (Katie's family) would make the friend come back to their house to put it down!
I leave the lid up but seat down in my bathroom because that's the way my mama did it, and if you go and sit on the toilet at night and leave the light on but don't realize the seat was down...well, since we are in mixed company, we will just say that sometimes accidents occur. As far as things accidentally falling in, if you have a medicine cabinet or something above the sink, then get in the habit of closing the lid either when done on the toilet or before opening the medicine cabinet because, yes, things can and will fall in the toilet. Otherwise, just store it away from the toilet and don't take it to the toilet with you, don't let your dog or toddler in the bathroom, and it shouldn't be a problem. :)
If you'd like to leave a comment, we're afraid you'll have to use a non-mobile device to do so. I just couldn't get the mobile comment entry form to work right. Alas. ~Ted.
1. Julianne said the following at 11:38 AM on Aug 15:
amen
2. Felicia said the following at 11:38 AM on Aug 15:
Amen!
3. Laura_mh said the following at 11:47 AM on Aug 15:
And I just love it (yeah, right!) when guys sometimes say, "Why don't *women* put the seat UP when they're done!"
Ted is right, seat goes down. It is what it is.
4. v@v said the following at 11:54 AM on Aug 15:
So, a little non-sequitor, but I read a hand-made sign in a country store that said: "My aim is to keep this bathroom clean; your aim will help." I think this sort of relates to the seat up thing --- or not. :-)
5. Miyazaki said the following at 11:55 AM on Aug 15:
With three guys in my family (not counting my dad even), my mom figured she'd get us off on the right foot ... the seat ALWAYS stays down. :-)
6. xeres said the following at 11:58 AM on Aug 15:
:D. Is this because your wife complained about it? hahaha
7. nikki said the following at 12:06 PM on Aug 15:
Close the lid, and aim better. I'm not a guy so I don't know, but I can't imagine it'd be all THAT difficult to get it IN the toilet! :) Thanks, Ted...
8. Ashleigh Slater said the following at 12:15 PM on Aug 15:
Xeres, your comment made me smile. :-) Ted and I did have a conversation about it last night. I don't remember how it came up, but I was actually complimenting him on always putting it down. In our almost 5 years of marriage, it's never been an issue. Which is something I really appreciate!
9. Jonathan from Canada said the following at 12:18 PM on Aug 15:
What is the "it" pronoun in the sentence above? My theory is that most women appreciate that the lid is closed, but not necessarily the person who closed it.
This is not to say that the motivation of lid closers should be recognition; this is to remind all that lids do not close by themselves.
Good behaviour is better promulgated through positive reinforcement than by going nuts when it is not performed or taking it for granted when it is.
10. Susie said the following at 12:24 PM on Aug 15:
Thanks Ted-you are a smart man, and I can tell that you have learned the lesson that so few seem to have mastered. Another hearty amen from this boundless reader! ;)
11. brx said the following at 12:25 PM on Aug 15:
Funny; I get minorly annoyed when women use my 'office' and leave the lid up with the seat down. The lid was down when they got there... and lid down is just practical because things can fall in accidentally. So, I sometimes wonder... are these women trying to make some kind of statement by leaving just the seat down in my bachelor bathroom? - because they do it consistently.
12. Bethany said the following at 12:32 PM on Aug 15:
Jonathan, I believe the object of the pronoun "it" in Ted's post is the action of closing the lid, or perchance it is that happy state of closed-ness of the lid.
Personally, I think everyone should just put the whole lid/seat/whatever down. Seriously, it takes less than a second to open it, and keeping the lid down prevents a) your dog from drinking out of it, and b) stuff from the customary above-the-toilet shelves from falling in.
13. Sarah said the following at 12:34 PM on Aug 15:
The seat and lid both being down benefits everyone because it prevents millions of germs from becoming airborne and contaminating the entire bathroom, in addition to the individual who flushed the toilet.
14. Ted Slater said the following at 12:36 PM on Aug 15:
Sarah's exactly right.
When you flush the toilet, the liquids in it swirl about, generating a slight "spray." If the lid is up, this misty spray ends up settling on the seat of the toilet and on the floor around the toilet.
By not only putting the seat down, but the lid down as well, this filthy spray will stay in the toilet, rather than around the bathroom. On the other hand, if you leave the lid up when you flush the toilet, you're spreading a light yellowish mist of yuckiness around the toilet where it can be picked up by hands and feet ... and eventually end up in your mouth.
Another reason to just put the lid down. Yuck.
Next week's blog post: "Just Wash Your Hands."
15. Pete said the following at 12:50 PM on Aug 15:
From my point of view (as a guy), lid down is extremely important! When you flush with an open lid, water (and other) particles travels up to 6 meters in all directions. I, for one do not keep my toothbrush in a cupboard, but I just started re-evaluating that situation.
16. P&P said the following at 12:51 PM on Aug 15:
Repeat after me:
The dog's bowl is in the kitchen.
The dog's bowl is in the kitchen.
17. Katie said the following at 1:25 PM on Aug 15:
In my house, we always know when a particular friend of my brother's has been around...the seat is left up everytime.
There is a general rule in our house that if someone leaves it up, we will determine who it was and specifically tell them to go put it down.
You'd think the friend would have remembered after the embarassment of the first time...guess not...
18. mindlab said the following at 1:29 PM on Aug 15:
Closed lids save cellphones (and other small objects like wallets, keys, and toothbrushes). This seems like reason enough to me.
If you prefer a more robust mathematical/economic analysis of the situation (employing game theory), I would suggest this excellent research paper.
19. Carrie said the following at 1:49 PM on Aug 15:
During the years when we had 1 bathroom for 4 people -- 2 of them male -- I can't count how many times I almost "fell in" because of the seat being up. It just seemed like the decent thing to do in case one of the females had a very full bladder. I took it personally if the seat was up.
20. Ame said the following at 1:52 PM on Aug 15:
hehehehehe
This is an absolute!!!
Recently I had my house inspected since I am moving, and the inspector used the toilet and did NOT flush it!!! YUCK!!! And, since my girls were at their dad's for a week, I didn't go anywhere around that bathroom and didn't notice it for a few days. Eewwwwwww!!!
Bleach is a staple in my house :)
I knew a mom once who had her husband teach their two boys to not only put the seat and lid down, but to also wipe up anything necessary around or on the commode before leaving the bathroom - now THAT'S how it should be taught to ALL little boys!!!!!!!
21. Nelson said the following at 1:53 PM on Aug 15:
If you want to know how much water sprays out of the toilet when it is flushed, just flush it when you're on it the next time. Maybe that'll scare you into keeping the lid down.
22. Chad said the following at 1:55 PM on Aug 15:
What astounds me is that this is an issue in households...When my sister and I were young, we put both down so that neither of us could fall in, but since we've been older the only rule is to leave it like you used it. It has always amazed me that this causes people problems. But then, I am a guy, so maybe I'm just thick...
23. v@v said the following at 2:01 PM on Aug 15:
Yes, when the lid is closed your chances of dropping anything in the toilet go down entirely. Also, if you've got little ones, it eliminates the shock of walking into the bathroom to find your toddler washing their hands in the toilet water. I don't have kids, but I've seen my siblings/cousins do it often enough. Why the toilet water, when the sink is a foot away?
24. Charllotte said the following at 2:20 PM on Aug 15:
I completely didn't realize what this was talking about until I read the comments. I thought it was about guys not talking and arguing with women, not about toilet seats, and thought, "Well, that's a little odd..."
Thanks for the giggles. =)
25. v@v said the following at 2:26 PM on Aug 15:
Charlotte, that's hillarious. Because, if you interpret "the lid" to mean a guys mouth, this takes on completely different meaning. LOL
26. erin said the following at 2:46 PM on Aug 15:
We have a nice little saying in our house that somewhat relates:
If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
My hubsand always puts the lid down, so no issues with that. :)
27. Lauren said the following at 3:45 PM on Aug 15:
Haha, in all honesty, I think it is such a petty thing for women to complain about to their husbands. I mean he has to lift it up every time HE uses it! So you need it down, he needs it up. Big deal. I hate how it's become the stereotypical thing to depict married couples as arguing over.
28. k. said the following at 4:18 PM on Aug 15:
I'm with Lauren on this one...
29. Andrew (tlw) said the following at 5:47 PM on Aug 15:
At our place, the seat ... and the lid ... go down.
That way, everybody has to do something.
It's only fair.
30. Jacob said the following at 6:09 PM on Aug 15:
Frankly, I never leave the lid up. It looks ugly.
Besides, do you know how many cell phones die each year because of this?
31. Bethany M said the following at 6:31 PM on Aug 15:
This one's definitely not reserved for the guys. Ladies, we should put the seat down as well! I can't tell you how many times my habit of keeping the lid closed has saved socks, cell phone, undergarments, keys, you-name-it... from landing in the toilet! It's just a smart idea.
32. farmer Tom said the following at 7:01 PM on Aug 15:
The water closet adjoining the bedroom of the lovely Mrs. farmer and myself is so small, that one must go out of the water closet to change ones mind. Leaving the lid up is an invitation for all manner of things to wind up in the open bowl. With a cabinet over the toilet, one over the sink which can be used from the toilet, everything falls in or near that toilet.
I have been know to yell rather loudly at my children to shut the lid!!!!! Usually right after my tooth brush fell.......
33. Nelson said the following at 7:21 PM on Aug 15:
I guess it can be seen as petty, but it'll affect you every day (I hope!) for couple decades. Might as well nip it at the bud...
The other petty things I hear being joked about are:
How to squeeze toothpaste (middle or the end)
How to load the toilet paper (the sheet goes over or goes under)
34. Marc said the following at 8:03 PM on Aug 15:
Katie wrote the following:
In my house, we always know when a particular friend of my brother's has been around...the seat is left up everytime.
There is a general rule in our house that if someone leaves it up, we will determine who it was and specifically tell them to go put it down.
You'd think the friend would have remembered after the embarassment of the first time...guess not...
I personally think that is going overboard and - dare I say - rude. You're having your brother's best-friend come-over just so he can put the toilet-lid down?!
It may be a quirk of his. A bad quirk, but a quirk nonetheless.
It's just my opinion, but I think you and your family may be out-of-line, much less making mountains out of molehills.
- Marc
P.S. I totally understand and respect ladies in my family and their respective wishes for the toilet-seat to be kept down... Just for the record.
35. BDB said the following at 10:11 PM on Aug 15:
Hmmm...no one with pets has commented yet. Do you really want your cat or dog to play in whatever water is handy, then go climb on you?
36. Holly07 said the following at 7:29 AM on Aug 16:
"If you want to know how much water sprays out of the toilet when it is flushed, just flush it when you're on it the next time. Maybe that'll scare you into keeping the lid down."
Yes - another reason I hate automatic flushing toilets in public restrooms...
37. nick said the following at 8:13 AM on Aug 16:
lol =)
I think it's almost unconscious, I don't even know what I do when I go in a non public restroom.
Why do all the cell phones fall in toilets? Are people using them while in proximity? Now, THAT is gross... I mean, you press your cell phone to your face ... why would you use it near the toilet? :-p
38. v@v said the following at 8:21 AM on Aug 16:
When I visited some parts of Asia I had a much bigger problem than the lid -- there was no toilet. Just a nice letrine on the floor with no instruction manual. Let's just say -- it took a while.
39. v@v said the following at 9:05 AM on Aug 16:
Nick, this is very true. I have a personal ick-factor to the talking on the phone while on the toilet thing. However, it's even weirder when, say, you go to the restroom at work and someone in the stall next to you is having an entire conversation...while on the toilet.
40. Carrie said the following at 9:16 AM on Aug 16:
v@v -- I can totally relate to the Asian toilets! I was "warned" about them and completely forgot until I was in the Tokyo airport and was trying to attend to an "emergency". I almost cried because I couldn't figure out what to do!!
41. Katie said the following at 9:44 AM on Aug 16:
Marc,
I don't think you quite understand the situation. Putting the seat down has been a standard rule in the house. And the friend has been told many, many times not to leave it up. He's practically family, so, no, we don't embarass visitors or other friends. I would not call this a quirk. Quirks, by their very definition, are just unusual personality traits. I don't think leaving the seat up is a trait (rather a learned behavior), and I dare say, it's rather rude of him to leave it up when there is a house rule of which he is well aware.
42. Carrie Lea said the following at 3:47 PM on Aug 16:
v@v,
Haha! I visited Japan once, and took a picture of the typical floor toilet. When my dad saw the picture, he thought it was a urinal (and couldn't figure out why I had my feet on the wall next to it). :D
43. Marc said the following at 9:45 AM on Aug 17:
Katie,
I jumped the gun and read too-much into your anecdote. I'm sorry.
- Marc
44. Leah said the following at 9:56 AM on Aug 17:
I don't care if guys put the lid down or not, I just want the SEAT down!
(Look at it this way, guys: there are two things each gender does in the toilet. For women, they need to sit for both. For guys, they need to sit for one. Therefore, 3 out of 4 times, the person needs to be seated. Therefore, it's logical that the seat remains down except for that 1 out of 4 times!)
45. Leah said the following at 10:04 AM on Aug 17:
Marc- I doubt they (Katie's family) would make the friend come back to their house to put it down!
46. Courtney said the following at 4:46 PM on Aug 23:
I leave the lid up but seat down in my bathroom because that's the way my mama did it, and if you go and sit on the toilet at night and leave the light on but don't realize the seat was down...well, since we are in mixed company, we will just say that sometimes accidents occur. As far as things accidentally falling in, if you have a medicine cabinet or something above the sink, then get in the habit of closing the lid either when done on the toilet or before opening the medicine cabinet because, yes, things can and will fall in the toilet. Otherwise, just store it away from the toilet and don't take it to the toilet with you, don't let your dog or toddler in the bathroom, and it shouldn't be a problem. :)