If You Walk with the Wide, Chances Are You'll Be Wide
by Candice Watters on 07/27/2007 at 8:44 AM
"Friendship offers support, laughter -- and the occasional spare tire," said Thursday's Wall Street Journal. Reporter Jennifer Levitz asks, "Can Your Friends Make You Fat?"
A study in this week's New England Journal of Medicine finds that social networks have an even greater effect on chances of becoming obese than genes do. The findings may help explain why obesity is rising in America despite widespread dieting and other weight-loss techniques, and why people's best efforts to slim down on their own are so often short-lived.
According to the study,
A person's chance of becoming obese jumped 57% if he or she also had a friend who became obese during a given time. If on e adult sibling became obese, the chance that the other would follow suit increased by 40%. These findings were particularly true if siblings and friends were of the same sex -- since, researchers say, people are more influenced by those they resemble than those they do not. Indeed, the chance of becoming obese rose 71% if it was a same-sex friend who gained the weight.
Before you delete the phone numbers and emails of all your friends on the chubby side, keep two things in mind: one, the 12,067 people studied underwent body measurements over 32 years. So they're not young. This is something you may not need to worry about till you're older. (But of course, good friendships form early and stay long so that may be a moot point.)
The second is more helpful: If the influence of friends is so powerful that their eating habits can contribute to your weight gain, think of all the other, less visible, influences they have over you and you have on them. Your friendships can be a powerful motivation toward good, or ill, and it goes both ways. What kind of influence are you?
Levitz' article went on to say,
The study is part of a larger trend in science and social science to examine the effect of networks, from the role that interconnected neurons play in cognition, to even networks of terrorism. There's evidence, for instance, that political attitudes are shaped by social circles, and that when it comes to sexual behavior, teens are more influenced by their immediate friends than by the most popular group at school or by the media.
Solomon knew the power of friendship. In his letters of wisdom to his son he talked about the influence of his son's pals and urged him to choose wisely. They'll rub off on you, son, so make sure the residue is worthy stuff. You can hear him saying as much in Proverbs 13:20,
He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.
1. lewsta said the following at 10:40 AM on Jul 27:
good point that we often are influenced by those whose company we keep. BUT--that can work for, or against, us. If you're thin and fit, hanging about with those who are not may well lead to you becoming more like them..UNLESS you maintain your determination to remain as you are. It can work the other way as well. If I were a porker/sofa spud and had some friends who were thin, fit, and active, and I desired change, I should confide in some of them that I desire to be more like them, and will you please help me...confront me when you see me furthering my wretched condition, encourage me to make better choices. And if I try and tell you at those times I really don't want to hear it, please simply tell me "shut up, you're lying again". It is a much harder go the other way...our culture have made it so risky to confront anyone with an issue. Betimes, the mere mention of another's excessive girth and consequent lifestyle and health problems can be considered an attack, insult, meddling, even hate speech...and so we've well trained each other to simply not meddle unless asked..at which point its no longer meddling. Whatever happened to "speaking the truth in love"? My friend of 350 pounds is headed for diabetes, heart and circulatory problems, knee replacement, and a life of difficulty getting about. How should I refuse to not only point these things out to him, but come alongside and help him form a plan to wisely deal with his present condition? Leaving him as he is would be hating him. And his wife and children who will doubtless suffer the consequences of his poor choices. Will we be the ones to influence our friends for the better, or allow them to influence us for the worse? That falls to each of us to choose.
2. Jan said the following at 11:05 AM on Jul 27:
I think the reason that friendship is making people gain weight is that socializing often involves eating: lunch, dinner, coffee/tea, summer BBQs, church potlucks, etc. And the food that is available is often not the healthiest.
I'm 25 lbs. underweight while the majority of my family and friends are overweight. We have yet to rub off on each other.
Perhaps friends should spend less time socializing over food and engage in activities such as walking, going to the gym, team sports, etc. People need to have encouragement and support when making changes and trying new things.
3. Anu (formerly known as Tomi) said the following at 11:08 AM on Jul 27:
Really interesting study! Also interesting is how the correlation only holds true for men.
"Female friendships did not seem to be impacted by obesity. But the chances that a man might gain weight from having a fat pal doubled for so-called mutual friends -- friends who both listed each other as buddies."
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Diet/story?id=3413751&page=1
Whats more interesting is that only ONE major news report that I could find mentioned the gender disparity in the research findings. Most left it out all together. I'd almost be willing to wager money that if the study instead found that having overweight female friends made females fatter, that would be the main focus of the media coverage.
Anyway thats just my rant for the day. I think this still holds true: "Show me your friends and I'll show you who you are" (or something like that!)
:)
4. Ame said the following at 11:26 AM on Jul 27:
Choose your friends wisely ... we influence each other all the time ... I teach this to my children over and over and over.
I knew a dad once who said of his daughter, "Her 'picker' is off." She did not pick friends wisely at that time in her life, and it concerned him deeply.
I had a friend who was like a sister to me; we were very close. She began down a path of dishonoring God. My counselor advised I put some space in that friendship, and I did. And I am thankful. She is waaaay off course, and because I confronted her, she has turned away from me, too. I let her go. I am not responsible for her, and she knows where I am when she's ready to come back to God. That was very hard to do.
Friendships are so important ... we influence each other in EVERY area of our lives ... and this will continue into marriage and raising children. "Forever friends" are priceless.
Choose wisely now and in every season of your life, and the blessings will be more abundant than you can even begin to imagine. I have the most amazing and God-honoring friends - we have walked through life together. We don't all live close anymore, but our hearts are always close. We have prayed each other through seasons of life; we've stood each other up. What incredible gifts they are from God!
5. Sam said the following at 3:11 PM on Jul 27:
Perhaps I'm interpreting this wrong, but...I keep reading "choose your friends wisely". While I agree with that to an extent, it seems like you're telling folks to disregard heavier people because they might "rub off". I hate to say it, but we've all got to make our own decisions, folks. If you choose to eat a tub of Chubby Hubby because you're overweight friend does, then you've chosen to be eat it - they didn't make you. So are we really going to say don't be friends with an overweight person because you might get fat too? I feel like these studies and these kinds of reactions are disparaging to an entire group of people. Yes, they're overweight, but they're overweight for a lot of different reasons, not just because of what they eat. Overweight people deal with being ostracized enough without other folks now worrying that if they befriend an overweight person they'll become overweight too.
Christians talk about accountability and responsibility when it comes to acknowledging our own sin. Why not acknowledge that you CHOOSE to overeat instead of blaming your friend? This is a good example of taking the plank out of your own eye before trying to remove someone else's.
And consider someone else's feelings when you say - and post - things.
6. Joseph said the following at 3:19 PM on Jul 27:
I take the definition of obesity with a grain of salt. By all technicality I am supposed to be obese, whereas the actuality of anyone that knows me it is due to my bodybuilding hobby.
I try to examine this study from a different angle. I suppose it is yet another example about who we hang out with influences us. I think it is another example how we are so vulnerable to poor influences. I think we ought to be more conscience about being positive influences in every aspect of our interaction.
I love a good potluck as much as the next person, however I do agree that the food filled culture is rather discouraging. I can write some decent rants about the difficulty finding a lifting partner over the years.
7. Stephanie said the following at 9:01 AM on Jul 28:
Sam, I like what you have to say. Especially because a lot of overweight people are overweight because they have serious health problems, not just pure laziness.
I'm a little concerned about taking "choose your friends wisely" to the extreme, and especially applying it in matters other than just weight. Aren't we called to be a light to the world and not be influenced but rather INFLUENCE others for good? I'd be pretty embarrassed to describe to you some of the folks I've hung out with over the years. But I do it because they need friends and in some cases I was the only Christian they had ever met. If we are truly strong in our faith, we won't be influenced by other, we will influence them.
8. Dave said the following at 11:08 PM on Jul 29:
I can appreciate the article because it is true to a certain extent. I am a Christian, I do workout, and I
do eat very healthy. The Lord has blessed me with a healthy body, and I intend to maintain it until the Lord calls me home. My friends, the people I hold close to my heart are people who do have similar interest to my own.
I do have associates who are obese, I have eaten lunch with them and can honestly say that they are committing suicide with a knife and fork. Because I don't eat as they do, I usually hear that "Oh, do you think you are too good to eat what I eat?" Or I am spending time
defending my lifestyle while not condemning theirs.
I really cannot imagine giving up my self-control and being influenced to that extent by anyone. If I were
asked for advice, I would give it to them but I NEVER give it if it is not asked for. I did it once, I volunteered to help him thru the entire process from beginning to end. He came up with every excuse to put it off, so I simply dropped it. He may now weigh 400 lbs. I came to realize, he has to hit rock bottom before he will act, and that could mean his life.
9. Kim said the following at 5:37 PM on Jul 30:
I appreciated what Sam wrote...
I think the main point is that we do need to be careful of how we are influenced by others, but it isn't just overweight or obese people who could lead one to overeat or be gluttonous. Many of my skinny friends and acquaintances put an unreal amount of food into their bodies at church fellowships, and if I ate like them I'd be even more overweight.
It is very true that not every obese person is doing this to themselves. Some are not careful about what they eat and how much they eat(just as skinny folks), but that is not always the case. It is very hard to be judged for it when it is simply a matter of something working wrong in your body. Eight years ago, I developed Systemic Lupus (SLE) and fibromyalgia (FMS), and the resulting illness and the medicines have caused a weight gain that has been very depressing (especially since I didn't even get to eat all of the lasagna and chocolate to get there; it just went on after a few months of treatment). I guess I'm glad I eat healthy or else it would have been worse. I do manage to keep the SLE/FMS in check with a healthy lifestyle, but I am still overweight despite eating salad most nights and working out for an hour each day.
If some of my skinny friends were ever in danger of becoming obese it is for the things that I don't join them in--like multiple trips up to the dessert table at church functions, trips to fast food joints after Bible study, and social gatherings at the donut shop/coffee house. Gluttony is gluttony whether it shows up on your hips or not. I fear once they get older, they will struggle with their weight as their metabolisms slow. In my relationship with many of them, it is I who has to fight the temptation to just go along with them.