Mohler Versus Piper on Singleness
by Motte Brown on 05/01/2007 at 4:43 PM
OK, I really don't think Dr. Albert Mohler is ever really versus Dr. John Piper, but on the issue of singleness, I can't imagine more diametrically opposed messages.
Take these two quotes for example:
Dr. Mohler: "I believe in the Scripture, the default position for adult is married, that it's a responsibility. It's not just an elective. And it's not just so we can engage in sexual relations. It's because God desires that we glorify him in the covenant of marriage and that he made us for that purpose and directs us to His Glory in that covenant. [Scripture] tells us that we should have children and welcome them and raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. So there's business to be done in marriage to God's glory!" -- 9 Marks "Biblical Dating with Al Mohler and Joshua Harris"
Dr. Piper: "God promises you blessings in the age to come that are better than the blessings of marriage and children. And with this promise there comes a unique calling and a unique responsibility. It is not a calling to extend irresponsible adolescence into your thirties. It is a calling to do what only single men and women in Christ can do in this world, namely, to display by the Christ-exalting devotion of your singleness the truths about Christ and his kingdom that shine more clearly through singleness than through marriage." -- Desiring God "Single in Christ: A Name Better Than Sons and Daughters"
Based solely on these two excerpts, you could argue that the two views are not inconsistent, saying they're simply unpacking different callings. But any honest examination of the writings and talks of both men reveal somewhat of a rift in this debate. Similar to a point Debbie Maken made, I think the difference here is the emphasis, or de-emphasis, on sexual passion.
Whenever I've heard Dr. Mohler speak about singleness, he stresses that your physical and sexual maturity exists to point you to marriage. And he warns that the delay of marriage will continue to wreak havoc on the Christian community in the form of sexual sin -- masturbation, fornication and pornography. Conversely, Dr. Piper hardly addresses it in the context of singleness and marriage.
In the 9 Marks interview, Dr. Mohler says, "We need to get back to a simple formula I think we can all understand: Adulthood equals marriage, the exception being celibacy." Whatever your take of Dr. Piper's sermon, it would be difficult to make it congruent with that message. But maybe he doesn't want it to be.
1. Casey Lou said the following at 5:30 PM on May 1:
piper is right, because to seek marriage (as mohler recommends) contradicts paul, who says, "do not seek to change your state." (1 Cor. 7:24)
2. Danbers said the following at 5:35 PM on May 1:
I appreciate Boundless for publishing both sides to this issue without being dogmatic, resorting to sarcasm, hysteria, or censoring comments just 'cause they may not agree with the Boundless staff's views.
3. Scott said the following at 7:29 PM on May 1:
Casey Lou, I think it's interesting that you bring 1 Cor Ch 7 into this discussion. As I read over Paul's discourse, it seems as though spends the entire chapter going back and forth on this very issue. Paul doesn't seem to side with either one of these gentlemen exclusively.
Paul begins by contradicting something the members of the church at Corinth have asked, that it is good for a man not to touch a woman (presumably in sexual relations); he states "but because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband." - 1 Cor 7:2 NASB
This statement seems to Agree with Dr. Mohler. However, Paul clearly states his wishes that each man would be "even as I myself am" - 7:7.
I think the most important piece of this chapter is found in verse 29 when Paul says this: "But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none."
I would say Paul agrees with John Piper in saying that the single has a far greater sphere on influence as numbers and flexibility are concerned. Conversely, I would venture to say he agrees with Dr. Mohler as well insomuch as he says his position or 'condition,' as it were, takes a God given self-control; what Dr. Mohler has called a 'call to celibacy'.
As for my 2 cents, my 27 year old single self would tend, in my finite experience, to agree with Dr. Mohler. Safely every male I've ever discipled or even counseled has struggled with passions, and a desire for a woman to love and care for. On the other hand, I have known but one man who, prior to even entering college, felt a call to celibacy and pursued no female companionship and was relatively okay with that.
My conviction stated I think John Piper would remind us of how chapter 7 continues, stressing a point we shouldn't miss: 'The unmarried is concerned with things of God and pleasing Him, but the married is concerned with pleasing his wife/husband. His interests are divided.'- 1 Cor 7:32-34 paraphrase.
I don't think the blessings set aside for marriage and celibacy can even be rightly compared. Each is a call from the Lord and if we are faithful to hear Him, the blessings involved are precisely those He intended to be best for us.
4. Sina said the following at 7:42 PM on May 1:
It's funny because simply put...God is sovereign and His plans will never be thwarted. So in whichever state we find ourselves in we should be content(I've been accused of being pious but oh well). Whether married or single. I'm personally not ashamed to admit that I desire a marriage that glorifies God and I'm praying to that end.
5. Peter K said the following at 7:49 PM on May 1:
I don't think they are opposed at all. Since Piper's message was directed to singles, we can say that it is divided into two groups: those who will never marry, and those who will. To those who never marry, he says that our inheritance will as good as or greater than those who are married. For those who will be married, he says that we should use our season of singleness for God's kingdom.
6. Kari said the following at 9:45 PM on May 1:
Holy virginity, its high cost and calling of celibacy have been a staple of Christianity since the beginning. I could spend an hour listing all the Church theologians who felt that the call to celibacy was high and holy and important; to name but a few, Augustine of Hippo, Tertullian, Hildegard of Bingen, Benedict of Nursia, and Paul himself.
The idea that celibacy is a powerful and passionate ministry given by God is an orthodox view, long held by the church, and for a long time a place of ministry and compassion. Just look at the medieval influence of monastic communities on their local settings. The works of charity they did in helping the sick and the poor and in preserving history and learning is unfathomable in scale. When many singles are united in purpose and action powerful work can be done.
Is celibacy for everyone? Absolutely not. Is everyone struggling with sexual passion? Absolutely not. The idea that we are victim to our sexuality is an old but bad one; it was believed in the past that through prayer and faith and action that sexuality could be controlled and tamed for God's glory. Why should that be any different in this day and age? If those with same-sex attractions can be called to holy celibacy, despite the ravages of a broken sexuality, why cannot heterosexual men and women?
Not to say that I agree entirely with Dr. Piper but the perspective he bases his ideas from is, in fact, traditional and orthodox.
7. Nate said the following at 10:03 PM on May 1:
Casey Lou--I'm not sure that verse can be used as a prooftext 'cos that's not the entirety of the verse. It's "Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to." You'll need to explain how God's calling fits.
I second the kudos to Boundless for taking both sides seriously.
8. dmaken said the following at 10:13 PM on May 1:
As I have read some of the comments, I noticed a common thread among those wanting to defend Piper-- do not attack him for things he could have said.
The criticisms leveled against Piper are not simply about what Piper could have said or added, but on what Piper did actually say. Toward that end, Piper is on the record as saying that "Christ and his kingdom that shine more clearly through singleness than through marriage." Marriage is the emblem that is chosen to reflect Christ and his relationship to his kingdom/church, not haphazard singleness. Paul calls this a mystery. (Eph. 5:29-32). The reason a concrete relationship like marriage is chosen as a describing yardstick is because God wants us to understand the permanency/commitment of his love for us. Singleness by its very nature is fluid and uncommitted, antithetical to the steadfast nature of God.
Piper is on the record for saying that because Jesus asked who is my mother and who is . . . that familial relationships are now "relatively unimportant." While our judicial standing with the Lord has never been dependent on us being husbands/ wives/ sons/ daugters, Piper takes a great deal of liberty to suggest that the family institution is now irrelevant in the New Testament. The crucible of family life is important in our sanctification, and the reason we see the "good decorum" (I. Cor. 7:35) lacking in Christian singleville is because singletons lack the power of a godly spouse daily working with them to make them more holy. Marriage is still relevant today, not just as a universal command for all peoples, but especially for Christians, if they are to be serious about their Christian growth.
I am so glad that Boundless is showing that there are two irreconcilable viewpoints on the developing theology of singleness. Thanks to blogosphere accountability and the minions of novice theologians prattling about, no longer will the prevailing viewpoint of glorified singleness nirvana go unchallenged and unquestioned. They can no longer get away with a "dog bone" line of agreement about the extension of adolescence, but then undermine any duty to marry with the rest of their words.
Debbie Maken
9. Apryl said the following at 10:35 PM on May 1:
I don't think that 1 Corinthians 7:24 can be taken out of the context of the verses around it and tossed at this issue.
I enjoy reading Piper's books and listening to his sermons, and I admire his passion for missions. But I don't think we should all stay single. I guess I could understand the point that if you were single you could go and witness to many people and grow a family of believers that way.
Personally, I definitely don't believe I could be single forever. I'm preparing myself for and anticipating marriage. I am excited about the prospects of having a lasting marriage and raising up my children in the teaching and admonition of the Lord. I have the chance to change my family tree, and touch future generations just by holding out for a Godly man and marriage.
Thanks to all the writers for the articles and blogs on Boundless. It's great that when a discussion ensues on the Blog, that everyone has a chance to add to it, in agreement or disagreement and really work through the issue.
10. Kyle O'Neill said the following at 10:57 PM on May 1:
I think that both sides of this issue have valid points, however to stress one condition over the other is something we should do with extreme caution. Remembering that in the New Testament Jesus said agreed with his disciples saying that it would be better to not marry. Also remembering that it is through marriage that God demonstartes his relationship to us and his love through us, after all, the Church is the bride of Christ.
However the one thing that people should realize is that no matter whether God has called us to be single or to marry, our job is to exalt and glorify him. Some people may be called to lifelong singleness, whereas some people are called to marriage early in life. Piper is definitely right when he said that the blessings God has for us in the future are much better than marriage and children because at the resurection we will neither marry nor be given in marriage.
The biggest thing we should take away from this whole discussion is that "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." (Colossians 3:23-24)
11. Leah said the following at 11:18 PM on May 1:
casey lou- if we are to take your advice of not seeking to change our state, nobody would ever get married. Is this what you want?
I suspect you're taking that verse quite out of context.
I would also like to know what version of the bible that came from. The NIV version says "Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to."
The ESV says "So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God."
The NKJV says "Brethren, let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called."
I think, having looked at these other three translations, the translation of "do not seek to change your state" is quite a bad one, unless you've left out part of the verse.
This verse is clearly saying not to change the state that God has called us for; key words being "God has called you for". There are those of us who are single, and God has not called us to be single for the rest of our lives- instead, he's called us to get married. Therefore, to seek to be married is not changing the state God has called us for- instead, it is seeking what God has called us for.
12. Kyle R. said the following at 2:24 AM on May 2:
"And he warns that the delay of marriage will continue to wreak havoc on the Christian community in the form of sexual sin"
I've seen this theme repeated elsewhere, and while I'm sure there's truth to it, this is always screaming in my mind:
-->We can't blame a struggle with pornography (for instance) with being single. I have married friends who face the temptation just like single people.
The problem of lust is a deeper problem of not delighting in God. We can't expect that just getting married will solve that. Wouldn't you agree?
13. Andre said the following at 9:00 AM on May 2:
"[...]to display by the Christ-exalting devotion of your singleness the truths about Christ and his kingdom that shine more clearly through singleness than through marriage."
with all due respect to Dr. Piper, this borders nonsense. How do "truths about Christ and his kingdom" shine more clearly through singleness? Where's that backed up in the Bible?
14. Captain Sensible said the following at 9:37 AM on May 2:
"Remembering that in the New Testament Jesus said agreed with his disciples saying that it would be better to not marry."
What?!?
Boundless, are you going to address this? By posting this comment, you have now given a wide platform for the idea that Jesus said it would be better not to marry.
Are you going to do anything about that?
Or just leave it unchallenged?
15. Jessi said the following at 10:11 AM on May 2:
It seems like people are getting into the "either/or" argument instead of both/and. Why are so many trying to make comparisons about being married and being single or trying to bash one camp or the other? Not everyone is supposed to be married, and not everyone is supposed to be single.
I believe in marriage and family. But I also believe that when people try to define themselves, base their identity, value, and worth as a person on their relationships with others and marriage, then I believe that you are teetering very close to idolatry. I also believe that depending on marriage (or any other relationship for that matter) to completely satisfy all of your needs and make you happy as a person is to live a life looking to everything else but the Lord to make you happy. Am I saying that marriage doesn't have its wonderful benefits, priveleges and responsibilities? Of course not. But what I am saying is that we must examine our motives for pursuing relationships. I want to be married, but I do not want be so obsessed with getting married and having children that I miss out on what God has called me to do and his assigments AT THIS VERY MOMENT. Unfortunately, debates like these do little for singles in the body of Christ but cause more schism and division.
My number one priority is to do what God has called me to do(and I'm not disagreeing that marriage and family will have a part in that). But too many times Boundless,(to me at least) comes off with their articles with the following perspective:
"Too many twenty something Christians are not getting married yet, are marrying much later than our generation TRADITIONALLY did, and as a result are having children later. So, let's emphasize marriage for twentysomething Christian young adults, bash any ministries that encourage singleness AT ALL, chide the guys for defrauding women and delaying marriage without giving them tools to move past that."
Where are the how to articles for guys in being mentored or to find mentors regarding this process?
16. Alison D said the following at 10:43 AM on May 2:
Does anyone else find it ironic that Piper himself is married with children (who are now married with children of their own)? Does he now somewhere deep in his heart regret his decision to marry? It sure sounds like he might. I wonder how his wife feels about his recent sermons...
17. Christiann said the following at 11:05 AM on May 2:
I believe that the blessings of marriage and singleness cannot be compared on an apples-to-apples comparison. Singleness affords more freedom of time, money, and emotions, but also the responsibility to use what has been given for the benefit of others. Their mission field starts with others surrounding them, showing them Christ's love. Marriage however carries different responsibilities: placing one person's needs above your own, putting Christ in the center of the marriage, the couple being a Godly example of the churches relationship with Christ, raising children to follow Christ. Their mission field is in their family first, showing them Christ's love. Is that to say one mission field is better or more needed than the other? The message doesn't change - God loved you so much, He sent His Son to die for us to have eternal life with Him.
I believe that some are called to singleness, but I am not one of them. Being a 25 year old single woman, I have spent time in prayer and in conversations with trusted Godly women about my single status. It will change, but only in God's timing, although I do have to pray over my attitude about that occasionaly.
I think too often we choose a few scriptures in the Bible or only a few phrases and read them the way we want to understand them. Whether we want to use them to explain our conflicting emotions, or to use them to justify our position - whether Godly or not, or simply, we want it our way. What am I truly seeking - His way or mine?
18. ccinnova said the following at 4:50 PM on May 2:
"In the 9 Marks interview, Dr. Mohler says, 'We need to get back to a simple formula I think we can all understand: Adulthood equals marriage, the exception being celibacy.'"
"They can no longer get away with a 'dog bone' line of agreement about the extension of adolescence, but then undermine any duty to marry with the rest of their words."
I must respectfully disagree with the above statements by Albert Mohler and Debbie Maken. Adulthood should not be defined by our marital status. And while marriage is indeed highly desirable for many Christians, there is no such thing as a Christian "duty" to marry.
Single Christians are already marginalized in the American evangelical church. Do Dr. Mohler and Mrs. Maken want to make the church so inhospitable to single evangelicals as to drive them out altogether?
19. Daniel from the Maritimes said the following at 7:49 PM on May 2:
As one who is planning to become a cross-cultural missionary, Lord willing, I've done some reading about the challenges and benefits of having a family on the mission field. I've come to the conclusion that it is probably beneficial for the type of missions work I feel called to. Of course, there are many struggles involved in having a family in a foreign land (finding schooling for your children being an obvious one); there are also some ministries that single people are more suited for. But here are some of the benefits:
1) Help in temptation--not just sexual temptation, but loneliness as well.
2) Protection of reputation--in some cultures, single adults are viewed with suspician.
3) Demonstration of Christian family life.
20. Melissa said the following at 9:26 PM on May 2:
Christiann - well-said! I liked your comparisons of the responsibilities of singles vs. the responsibilities of married people in your first paragraph. To build on that even further: it is not just married folks who are called to place the needs of someone else above their own; we single folks need to do so as well! Unless we put our roommates, neighbors, co-workers, friends, etc. before ourselves, we'll live totally self-absorbed lives, and our singleness won't be glorifying to God.
The Scriptures are clear that marriage AND singleness are both equally valid states to be in, and each has its own unique challenges and benefits. To my knowledge, neither Jesus nor Paul nor anyone else comes out and states as a fact that one or the other is morally superior (or more to the point: neither state is immoral in and of itself, and both should be honored).
The fact that there even exists a debate about this subject suggests to me that people feel the need to either 1) defend the "side" they are on because they feel they are being put down or marginalized; or 2) downplay the benefits of their own situation to make the "other side" feel better (How many times have we heard things like, "Oh, well, I know you really want to marry, but don't be in any hurry - marriage isn't always what it's cracked up to be!" or "It is nice to have this freedom as a single person, but since I don't have the demands of a family, I feel guilty if I don't say yes to every service project people ask me to do!")
21. Leah said the following at 11:47 PM on May 2:
Kyle O'Neill- you said "Remembering that in the New Testament Jesus said agreed with his disciples saying that it would be better to not marry."
Show me the verse(s) that say that. I think you'll find there are none. In fact, at creation, God actually told us to go forth a procreate. Procreation, within biblical boundaries, is impossible without marriage. So does Jesus just want the human race to die out? Of course not. If he wanted that to happen, he'd return to earth! Quite clearly, God wants us to continue procreating, and this means marriage is still necessary. Jesus never, EVER said singleness is better than marriage (as a blanket statement).
22. chizadek said the following at 2:52 PM on May 3:
Piper has responded to the question, "If what you say about the blessing of singleness is true, then why would one even want to be married?" here.
I also think its worth pointing out that the sermon on singleness was the final sermon in a series where the other 8 sermons were on marriage found here.
23. Kyle O'Neill said the following at 10:45 PM on May 4:
For Leah and Captain Sensible. If one looks at Mathew 9:10-11 specifically or from v. 1 for the entire context although Jesus did not specifically say that it is better not to marry he agrees with his disciples after they say "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." Jesus does not rebuke his disciples as he often does but instead says that Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
With this one should realize that no matter what we may like Jesus to have said with what he actually did say. I think that if one looks at the what Jesus did say, one will find him telling us simply that marriage is hard. And that in heaven, we will neither marry nor be given in marriage (Mark 12:25). Trying to find everything that Jesus says about mariage isn't actually all that hard. I went and looked at my concordance, and the words Marriage, Marriages, married, marries, marry, marrying, and marital only appear in the gospels 40 times, none of which is a blessing to those who marry. Jesus also doesn't have many commands about husbands and wives either. In fact, it seems that what Jesus had to say about it was that "Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." (Mathew 19:6)
However, considering that Jesus is God, I think that we should look at the whole Bible says. I will once again repeat what I said in my first post in that:
The biggest thing we should take away from this whole discussion is that "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." (Colossians 3:23-24)
24. Captain Sensible said the following at 11:01 AM on May 6:
Let's just be clear here, Jesus does NO SUCH THING as agree with the disciples that it is better not to marry!
This section sees Jesus actually reiterating marriage as intended in Genesis (so much for it not applying any more!) and then when the disciples say it is better not to marry because the conditions for divorce are hard (ie. marital unfaithfulness), Jesus explains that not everyone can accept marriage. There are exceptions. What are those exceptions? Eunuchs of some description and those that have renounced marriage for the Kingdom of heaven.
But Jesus makes clear that the one that CAN accept marriage (ie all but those exceptions) SHOULD accept it.
25. Mark Willard said the following at 11:15 PM on May 6:
I think there are two very important mitigating facts that are being left out of the discussion here.
(1) Piper is not advocating that it is better for everyone to remain single. This would be inconsistent and hypocritical as he himself is married. In his talk, Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, Part 2, Dr. Piper makes the statement "When God calls a person, as he does some, to singleness, he makes all that is required there another means of knowing Him more fully than if they had been married and had sexual intercourse often." (emphasis mine)
(2) At the 2004 Desiring God National Conference: Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, during the second speaker interview session (towards the very end), Dr. Mohler articulated his position on singleness and marriage. Dr. Piper responded with "I don't think I heard anything come out of his mouth that I disagree with, and in fact, as I hear him nuance and qualify the crusade [for marriage], I feel like joining it."
Based on the above, I think it is inaccurate and irresponsible to represent Dr. Piper and Dr. Mohler as being at odds in this issue. They're just emphasizing opposite truths in tension. Additionally, both Debbie Maken and Andre, in quoting Piper, have ripped what he said out of context to make him say something he didn't. Debbie quoted him as "Piper is on the record as saying that 'Christ and his kingdom that shine more clearly through singleness than through marriage.'" In context, the actual quote was "It is a calling to do what only single men and women in Christ can do in this world, namely, to display by the Christ-exalting devotion of your singleness the truths about Christ and his kingdom that shine more clearly through singleness than through marriage." (emphasis mine) When read in context, you can see that Piper is saying something entirely different than Debbie and Andre would have him say. It is not a preferencing of singleness over marriage. It is merely dignifying celibacy by stating that for those called to be single, they will magnify and glorify Christ in unique ways that only they can, just as married couples magnify and glorify Christ in ways that singles cannot.
26. Kyle O'Neill said the following at 11:40 PM on May 6:
Captian Sensible - The first thing that I want to make absolutely clear is that I am definitely of the opinion that most people should get married. Do not think that I would ever say that marriage as intended in Genesis does not apply anymore. In fact one day I will very likely get married because marriage not only because I feel that is where God will be leading me in the semi-near future, but also because marriage is one way that God exposes sin and selfishness in our lives. However, I also want to be in the will of God and therefore, if he calls me to singleness and to renounce marriage for the kingdom of heaven, I would do that because that is what God's will for me is and God does know better than I ever will.
When looking at this passage in Mathew 19 one needs to look at all of the first 12 verses realizing several things. First, in vv. 4-9 Jesus basically says that marriage needs to be taken seriously and that there is only 1 time divorce is allows (marital unfaithfullness). The next thing is that vv. 11 & 12 are in response to the disciples, not as a continuation from vv. 4-9. He does not simply ignore the disciples and go on a rant, he responds to them. The first thing that I'd like to point out is that in his response to the disciples, he does not rebuke them as Jesus is in the habit of doing. Instead, he simply says that those to whom being single is given need to accept it. I do like "The Expositor's Bible Commentary" when it talks about these verses saying that "Neither Jesus nor the apostles see celibacy as an intrinsically holier state than marriage, nor as a condition for the top levels of ministry, but as a special calling granted for greater usefulness in the kingdom. Those who impose this discipline on themselves must remember Pauls' conclusion: it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
One last point about this whole thing is that even marriage is a great thing, it is not permanent. In heaven there will be no marriage. In fact, men are instructed to care for women because God has given them to use for a time and our job as men should be to return them to God without blemish. As Christ presents the Church to himself. In fact, when looking at mariage, it seems to be more for enabling us to understand the relationship between us and Christ in a way that we couldn't otherwise. So yes, although God did institute marriage making it a great and glorious and good thing, in eternity and in heaven there will be no marriage except that between the Church and Christ.
Although, with this whole discussion, I think that part of the point is being missed. Namely that no matter where one is, we must surrender to God and enable ourselves to be used by Him for His glory.
27. Albert said the following at 12:02 PM on May 8:
Mark Willard is entirely right. Debbie Maken and Andre have misquoted and distorted Dr. Piper's views.
The current emphasis on the family is a cultural backlash against the horrible degradation of marriage in our society, yet the emphasis is crossing over the line into idolatry and unintentionally hurting singles.
We must promote marriage to the glory of God, but we must also promote singleness to the glory of God and not belittle it as Debbie Maken has done in her characterizations of singleness:
"The reason a concrete relationship like marriage is chosen as a describing yardstick is because God wants us to understand the permanency/commitment of his love for us. Singleness by its very nature is fluid and uncommitted, antithetical to the steadfast nature of God."
First, such a description of singleness is entirely unsupported by Scripture norms and seems more a cultural observation of sinful irresponsibility. Single people are called to be steadfastly committed to Christ.
Second, if marriage really was meant to show us primarily the "permanency/commitment of his love for us," it's bad news that in the new heavens and earth, marriage will be eliminated. Rather, marriage points to the cherishing and sanctifying nature of Christ's love for his Bride which does of course require commitment, but marriage communicates much more than the permanence you ascribe to marriage.
But the non-eternal nature of marriage means that single celibate people are equally blessed members of the Bride of Christ, and that the main goal of this life for singles and married couples is union with Christ without normative marriage for everyone.
28. nikki said the following at 1:57 PM on May 8:
On whether we will have marriage in heaven:
I have often wondered what human relationships will be like after our physical bodies are resurrected. I see no reason why relationships, including family, friends and spouses, should not be similar/comparable to our current ones. Of course they will be perfected. They will be without the restraints and conventions placed on us by governments due to our sin nature. This has made me wonder if "marriage" in the legal, societal sense would be necessary, because we would not need an outward bond to keep us faithful to each other.
So is it really true that we will not have relationships with each other on the new earth? After all, romantic/erotic love existed in the perfect garden, before sin. Perhaps "there is no marriage in heaven" means 'marriage' in the strictest sense? As in, we will not need to obtain marriage certificates and be legally joined. Perhaps we will simply not need government oversight for validity. I hope this makes sense.
Does Scripture actually say we will all be "married to Christ" on the new earth? Which honestly, unless I see it in Scripture, sounds a little creepy, and weird.
29. Mark Willard said the following at 12:40 AM on May 9:
Nikki,
In regards to marriage in heaven, here are the relevant texts:
Matthew 22:23-33
Mark 12:18-27
Luke 20:27-40
I think the most natural reading of the texts is that marriage as we know it will not exist in heaven at all, not merely that we will no longer require certificates from the government. And I think that if you search the Bible, you'll find that it has no conception of legitimate sexual expression outside of marriage.
Regarding being "married to Christ," I think the most relevant texts are Ephesians 5:22-33 and Revelation 19:6-10. While our relationship to Christ is metaphorically described as a marriage, I agree with you that this analogy, if pushed too far (as it has been in a lot of contemporary Christian "literature"), is rather creepy and weird.
30. a sister said the following at 12:48 AM on Jul 27:
My pastor recommended Piper's article to me and I appreciated b/c some people can be so down on singles. I think the adulthood = marriage argument goes much further than Scripture and is very condescending to single brothers and sisters.