by Ted Slater on 03/30/2007
In his article published yesterday, "Biblical Dating: Just Friends," Scott Croft identifies different types of friendship experienced by single adults. There's the type that unintentionally "invites confusion and frustration," and there's the type that's enjoyed within the "context of community." He's not trying to pour cold water on the rich friendships singles can share, but rather bring clarity to an area that sometimes invites confusion and "delays the good." What do you think? Have you experienced these two types of... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/30/2007
Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, has been the focus of a peculiar media attack over the past week. Since Monday, I've read several articles that portray Dobson as a meddling bigot intent on promoting an adulterer for President (Newt Gingrich) while denouncing one of the more conservative potential candidates (Fred Thompson). The first article to appear was written by Dan Gilgoff, whose recent book The Jesus Machine: How James Dobson, Focus on the Family, and Evangelical... Read more.
by Motte Brown on 03/29/2007
Early this year, author Kay S. Hymowitz gave a lecture at conservative think tank The Heritage Foundation on her book Marriage and Caste in America: Separate and Unequal Families in a Post-Marital Age. In her message about the growing social divide between married and single-parent households, she said that part of the problem is that we've lost the "script" for getting married and having children. What I'm suggesting is that without a program, people lose a way of organizing their... Read more.
by Motte Brown on 03/29/2007
Speaking of the "me, me, me" mentality, it's one of the characteristics Joshua Harris ascribes to a "church dater." In our Mentor Series interview with Joshua and Carolyn McCulley -- which was primarily centered around Joshua's book, "Stop Dating the Church" -- we asked what a church dater looks like. Joshua responded: Well, I hone in on three things. First, being "me"-centered, meaning what can I get out of this church, what does it have for me, what can it... Read more.
by Denise Morris on 03/28/2007
This post isn't about internet dating or slacker guys so you may just want to quit reading right now. I am planning to pick on some people, though, so it might be fun to continue. Last Wednesday at Bible study, we were reading the book of Acts, and I noticed something so radical -- those crazy disciples were all about spreading the Gospel of Jesus and helping those around them! They're running around the countryside without much concern for advancing... Read more.
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 03/28/2007
Last year I was co-leading a drama ministry at my church. After nine months of creating and performing original dramas, a series of events, along with the Holy Spirit's nudge, convinced us the group should not continue. My co-leader and I agreed to pray about the decision for several weeks; we were hesitant to let go of something we had innovated that had become so successful (i.e. popular). After several weeks of prayer, the Lord made it clear that the... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/28/2007
I don't mean to sidetrack the great discussion going on over at the post Steve started, but one of the comments (thanks, Dan H.!) has provoked me to start a new thread.... Dan H. suggests that we should sponsor: ... a "Boundless Cruise" or some similar activity, where we could meet some of the great columnists, bloggers and writers we have come to know over the years here on the web. As a side effect of an event like this... Read more.
by Candice Watters on 03/28/2007
Monday I discussed the latest findings in the NICHD longitudinal daycare study. While it's disconcerting to realize how potentially damaging daycare can be, and how many women use daycare so they can pursue their careers, it's equally heartening to learn women don't have to stay on the career track from start-to-finish after all. Women, it's discovered, are in a good position to take a break from work when their babies arrive. In her commentary on Crosswalk.com, Janice Shaw Crouse writes:... Read more.
by Steve Watters on 03/27/2007
It was great to see such a great conversation (and a record number of comments) grow out of the post on guys and motivation. I noticed more than one commenter bemoan the scarcity of quality prospects in their area. Esther, for example, wrote, "Does this mean it's time for Boundless to start matching people up?" Hmmm. This is an area we've thought about at various times but found difficult to move to reality. While we see tremendous opportunity, we also... Read more.
by Motte Brown on 03/27/2007
As a prepubescent youth, when I first learned the meaning of homosexuality from friends at school, I remember immediately questioning every emotion I had for my male friends when I was around them. It was the first of several sexual identity crises I experienced in my young life. To be sure, my own growing attraction to girls provided great relief but it didn't eliminate the questions altogether. All this from simply learning that some men have sex with other men.... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/27/2007
I married her about a year after I first met her. I met her in church, and also saw her around the university campus, where she was a grad student and where I had some clients. A couple of months after I first saw her, and after we'd chatted some at get-togethers, I invited her to attend my small group at church. She accepted. A short while later I invited my roommate and myself over to her apartment to evaluate... Read more.
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 03/26/2007
Last week's Time magazine cover story considers the pros and cons of Bible education in public school. While Old and New Testament classes in public schools have proven popular, the concept is, of course, controversial. To some, this idea seems retrograde. Citing a series of Supreme Court decisions culminating in 1963's Abington Township School District v. Schempp, which removed prayer and devotion from the classroom, the skeptics ask whether it is safe to bring back the source of all that... Read more.
by Candice Watters on 03/26/2007
The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) is releasing the results of a landmark daycare study begun in 1991. The longitudinal study, which has followed over 1,000 children from birth to age 12, and is the collaborative effort of groups with competing (some have said "warring") viewpoints, is the largest of its kind. The goal of the study is "to examine how differences in child care experiences relate to children's social, emotional, intellectual, and language development, and... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/26/2007
I was spending a few minutes over at the Boundless ShoutLife page and noticed a blog post from one of my "friends" announcing that Michael W. Smith became a grandfather over the weekend. It's our prayer at Boundless that Michael and his family are richly blessed by this new life that's entered their family. I wonder if we'll be hearing any granddaughter songs in the near future.... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/26/2007
My church had the distinction this past weekend of being picketed by the family known as Westboro Baptist Church. Best known for protesting at military funerals, carrying signs such as "THANK GOD FOR IEDs" and "SOLDIERS DIE GOD LAUGHS" (and more vulgar ones not suitable for reprinting here), the group chose to demonstrate at five churches in Colorado Springs over the weekend. As I mentioned, my church was among those five. Let me tell you, I was enthused by our... Read more.
by Steve Watters on 03/23/2007
Over the past week, I've spoken with two attractive, gifted single women about the headaches of dating. Both of these women have great jobs here at Focus on the Family, are fun to be with and have a lot to offer in the roles they'd love to play some day as wives. Too many times I've heard them talk through the frustrations of pseudo-relationships, quasi-dates and bizarre exchanges with online suitors. As I hear these stories, I so often scratch... Read more.
by Candice Watters on 03/23/2007
"Harvard abstinence group fights against mindless sex on campus" reports The Boston Globe's news website boston.com. From the looks of the story, it's not just mindless sex they're battling: Harvard student Rebecca Singh said she was offended by a valentine the group sent to the dormitory mailboxes of all freshmen. It read: "Why wait? Because you're worth it." "I think they thought that we might not be 'ruined' yet," Singh said. "It's a symptom of that culture we have that... Read more.
by Motte Brown on 03/22/2007
Despite being criticized by gay-activist groups for accepting a banquet invitation from the Indiana Family Institute (a Focus on the Family affiliated organization), Super Bowl-winning coach Tony Dungy showed up, received his Friend of the Family award, and remarked, "We're not trying to downgrade anyone else, hate anyone else, but we're trying to promote the family, family values the Lord's way." Citizenlink.com reports that Cyd Zeigler of pro-gay Outsports.com insists Coach Dungy has now created a "hostile" work environment. No... Read more.
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 03/22/2007
The other night I was at a coffee shop and was startled by a tract I found lying on the condiment station. Nothing says "God loved you enough to sacrifice His Son" like ... the Grim Reaper! Although the tract did its work of attracting my attention, I was disturbed by its macabre imagery. (Let alone the fact that "Hi There!" seemed a ridiculous message to accompany such an image.) I flipped through the comic-style tract for about a minute... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/22/2007
Kids do best when they have both a mother and father caring for them, of course, but what about single adults who have a heart for kids and are interested in adoption? Should they really consider adopting a child? If they have a strong sense that the Lord is directing them to do so, I think it's totally fine. Though single-parent households experience difficulties that two-parent households don't, the truth is that a child benefits more from being in a... Read more.
by Steve Watters on 03/22/2007
In the competitive, often superficial climate of online dating, one site has identified what they see as the real problem -- "not enough really hot-looking people." Jason Pellegrino, creator of HotEnough, says his service is exclusive to "fit, good-looking people." The article about this service explains that candidates are required to send in three pictures with one being a full-body shot. Other members (who have made the cut into the exclusive group) rate the pictures online without knowing anything else... Read more.
by Denise Morris on 03/21/2007
Ted, you know I'm pretty lazy, so thanks for picking up the slack and helping me promote TrueU. ;-) I do think we have another TrueU article that may be of interest to you all. Our founder and former editor, Blake Roeber, recently published the first article in his new series on the Argument From Moral Disagreement. In it, he poses a number of moral questions that are difficult to answer because many of them appear to be fairly subjective:... Read more.
by Motte Brown on 03/21/2007
Georgia Tech graduate student Ruth Malhotra has received multiple death and rape threats from students, an unwarranted failing grade from a professor, and has been told that her actions were intolerant and distasteful by the administration. Her crime? Being politically conservative on campus. In today's Frontpagemag.com, Peter Collier details Malhotra's "offenses", the threats, and the Georgia Tech administration's response. Here's one of the milder attacks she received this past February in the form of a Valentines Day "poem": This Valentine's... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/21/2007
I came across a new article over at TrueU.org, Focus on the Family's website for college students, and just had to share some of it with our readers. Though the article is primarily about how men might be courteous to women, the practical pointers can be used with anyone. Suggestions include: Opening the door Giving up your seat Paying for a meal Get up to greet Carry the load Go easy on the PDA Listen more than you speak Don't... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/21/2007
The fallout from his rapping at John Piper's church was varied. Some were enthusiastic about his passionate and doctrinally rich performance. Others came down hard against him, primarily criticizing him (and Piper) for introducing rap in a worship service. Instead of responding defensively to those heaping criticism against him, Curtis "Voice" Allen found the grace to respond in love, recognizing that those decrying his performance may very well be doing it out of a godly concern for their families and... Read more.
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 03/20/2007
The friend who forwarded me this article from the Seattle Times told me it made him sick to his stomach. After reading the thoughts of seven "marriage-wary" women, I had the same reaction. Their priorities stray so far from the wife of noble character — their view of marriage is so tarnished. The panel discussion ran as a complement to an article on why women are increasingly shunning marriage. I found the women's responses very selfish. Kimberley says: I have... Read more.
by Motte Brown on 03/20/2007
Should a potential candidate's extra-marital affair(s) be open for discussion during a political campaign? Neocon columnist William Kristol doesn't think so. In last week's Time.com article, "Newt's Disappointing Admission," Kristol writes of his disappointment that the subject of Newt Gingrich's extra-marital affair was broached in a recent interview with Dr. James Dobson. Kristol laments, "We live in an age when nothing is to be kept private, nothing is to be borne in silence, no one is too proud to stoop... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/20/2007
We don't think of ourselves as legalistic, but there's a good chance each of us is indeed a legalist. In "Interrogating the Legalist Within," C.J. Mahaney defines legalism as "seeking to achieve forgiveness from God, justification before God, and acceptance by God, through our obedience to God." That definition is pretty consistent with what I find in dictionaries, though more specific and practical for us as Christians. I understand exactly what C.J. is writing about, as I see it in... Read more.
by Denise Morris on 03/19/2007
It's been four years since the war started in Iraq. Wow. I was actually studying abroad in Spain four years ago as rumors of a U.S. attack on Iraq began to swirl. Spain's president (at that time) supported Bush, but most of the Spanish people did not. I remember walking back to my casa numerous nights as the Spaniards protested the war in the streets. I even have a little sticker to commemorate the time -- "No a la guerra!"... Read more.
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 03/19/2007
After reading Ted's post on media discernment, I read the Plugged In review of 300. I wish I had done that before I saw the film. Instead, in an unfortunate lapse of judgment, I attended this movie with a friend without reading the review or knowing anything about it. As a result, I was forced to close my eyes during many portions of the movie. The thing that struck me the most about the story depicted in 300 was the... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/17/2007
What makes a movie a good movie? On the other hand, what about a movie can disqualify it from being considered "good"? If a movie features "graphic violence and lewd sexual content," can Christians tell others, after they've exposed themselves to it, that it was a "good" movie? What about a movie that includes "a torrent of blood and guts, decapitations and mutilations" and "extreme sexual content"? A movie where "religion is dismissed and despised"? Isn't it possible that such... Read more.
by Denise Morris on 03/16/2007
Speaking of Lauren F. Winner, I thought she had some great things to say about love in the book, 5 Paths to the Love of Your Life. In it, she talks about Christian dating and the tendency we sometimes have to try to avoid hurt in our relationships. Some people are very careful to guard their emotions in dating or courtship relationships in order to avoid heartbreak. But, says Lauren, this may not be the most Christian way to do... Read more.
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 03/16/2007
In her review of Dawn Eden's book Thrill of the Chaste, Lauren F. Winner explores the implications and spiritual purposes of chastity inside and outside of marriage. Calling the book "a refreshing call to chastity," Winner writes: Eden underscores that chastity is a lifelong discipline — not just a tough thing that single Christians have to deal with, but also a call to embodied holiness in controlling one's sexual appetite that every Christian must submit to. (Do the details of... Read more.
by Motte Brown on 03/16/2007
Today, christiansinglestoday.com features a compilation of blurbs from singles on lessons they've learned from being sick and alone. The article brings up bedside medical kits, frozen and canned soups, and saltines, and most are grateful for any help they receive from friends. But some see sickness as an opportunity to read Scripture and lean on the Lord. Viewing sickness as an opportunity to rely on God reminded me of Jenny Schroedel's article about sleep, "A Third of Our Lives." You... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/15/2007
We're having issues with our website's publishing system, so the three articles we have for this week haven't yet made it to the site. John's "Boundless Answers" column, which was to hit the site this past Monday, has also remained unpublished. I'm sorry about that. In the meantime, here's a hint at what to expect. Though there's nothing about dating, Purity Balls or global warming in any of these articles, I'm confident you'll still find them provocative. The best way... Read more.
by Candice Watters on 03/15/2007
Sam Harris is my nominee for winner of the Blasphemy Challenge. His article, "God's Dupes," on Thursday's LATimes.com, asserts that everyone who believes in the God of the Bible is delusional. Harris is the author of The End of Faith: Religion, Terror and the Future of Reason and Letter to a Christian Nation. He writes, "...centuries have come and gone without an honest word being spoken about God in our society." And, ...there are better reasons to help the poor,... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/15/2007
I avoided American Idol for years, out of an overeager and uninformed desire to avoid anything having to do with ... um ... idolatry. But beginning last year, I've become a regular viewer, emotionally investing myself in the show. I was heartbroken, for example, when Elliott Yamin -- the only vocalist in last year's competition to give me goosebumps -- got the boot. While I'm drawn to several competitors in this year's lineup, I'm rooting for Melinda Doolittle. She, more... Read more.
by Steve Watters on 03/14/2007
What harm can video games cause in a marriage? Hugh Duncan tackles this in part 1 and part 2 of his Nuclearity podcast "Video Game Husbands." The husband and wife he interviews are bright and articulate and tell a story that I think would make any guy think soberly about how his current video habits might undermine the intimacy of his future marriage. Thoughts? Read more.
by Motte Brown on 03/14/2007
If you're a young adult female, you'll likely get cervical cancer because you'll likely contract HPV (human papillomavirus) because you'll likely have multiple sex partners before you get married. At least that's what Texas Governor Rick Perry likely believes. And doggone it, he'll inoculate you against the consequences of having premarital sex whether you engage in it or not. Last month, Gov. Perry issued an executive order requiring schoolgirls ages 11-12 to receive the HPV vaccination before being admitted to... Read more.
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 03/14/2007
Fox News reports that a non-profit organization in San Francisco has begun offering post-abortion e-cards. The non-profit, which runs a national post-abortion telephone talk line is seeking to offer women support following abortion. Like Exhale's confidential talk line, the six e-cards available on the group's Web site were designed to be nonpartisan and encompass the range of someone's potential responses to going through an abortion. One expresses sympathy, offering the gentle reminder that, "As you grieve, remember that you are... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/14/2007
I have to say that I'm disappointed in the responses to a post published yesterday. The original post discussed a "purity ball" in which a father commemorates his role -- as head of the household, as a "covering" for those in his household, as a type of "priest" of that household -- through a signed commitment to purity, and within the context of an elegant evening with one of his daughters. It's about roles, it's about responsibilities, it's about a... Read more.
by Motte Brown on 03/13/2007
I went to the movies recently and sat beside a girl and her friend who text messaged every five minutes. Besides being annoyed by the constant activity and soft glow of their cell phones, I was amazed at their unwillingness -- or inability -- to focus on the movie. They were what WIRED magazine calls, "media snacking." Today, media snacking is a way of life. In the morning, we check news and tap out emails on our laptops. At work,... Read more.
by Candice Watters on 03/13/2007
It seems whenever we talk about biblical dating, one of the most common complaints is that most young women simply don't have the necessary involvement of their dads. It always strikes me how emphatically women make this point: It's unrealistic. It's not an option! I think their strong reaction against our suggestion that a dad's role is pivotal is not that they think we're wrong, but that their situation is unfair. Our position only deepens their ache for something they... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/13/2007
A top U.S. general is getting slack from some in the media and gay lobby for his statement that he believes homosexual acts to be "immoral." According to the Chicago Tribune, Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said: "I believe homosexual acts between two individuals are immoral and that we should not condone immoral acts.... I do not believe the United States is well served by a policy that says it is OK to be immoral... Read more.
by Steve Watters on 03/12/2007
A friendly heads-up. Second Life will be unavailable for 5 hours on Wednesday while it upgrades to version 1.13.4. OK, are you a) bummed about that announcement because you're one of the millions of people who spends time in virtual worlds like Second Life, b) laughing at the goofiness of "virtual worlds" or c) scratching your head because Second Life wasn't even on your radar screen? I'd love to know which camps Boundless readers fall into. For a long time... Read more.
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 03/12/2007
Today, Joe Carter of the Evangelical Outpost considers the debt of gratitude evangelicals owe Catholics. Along with providing solid positions on many social issues, such as just war, contraception and the death penalty, Catholicism has led the way on defending life. It has also taught us to honor the mother of our Savior and encouraged us to not neglect the universal Body of Christ. Carter writes: One of the first principles of Reformed ecclesiology is that there is but one... Read more.
by Motte Brown on 03/10/2007
In response to Ted's post about Suzanne's article on church membership, one person asks, "What do I look for in a church?" At the risk of sounding incredibly simplistic, I would say it's expositional preaching. Seven years ago when I had to leave Capitol Hill Baptist Church because of a move, I asked Pastor Mark Dever what I should look for in a church. He said by far the most important thing is expositional preaching. If the pastor gets that... Read more.
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 03/09/2007
In response to "frustrated females googling for answers," Adam offers an explanation for why men fear intimacy. "Intimacy phobia is a learned habit," he says, and men are especially at risk during college. Usually, the well-adjusted male goes through some kind of deep trauma in this vulnerable time, most likely a break up. But it doesn't have to be that. It can be anything that strikes the inner world of emotional stability. So far this doesn't explain much, because women... Read more.
by Ted Slater on 03/09/2007
Modern dating conventions can be confusing. The number of books in Christian bookstores celebrating this fact confirms that many singles find pre-marriage relationship ambiguity frustrating. And the terms being thrown around -- "dating," "courting," and so on -- as well as the different interpretations of these terms -- lend to the confusion. Last week and this week we published two articles that may bring some clarity about the current dating scene, by outlining how we've come to where we're at.... Read more.
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 03/08/2007
Why do people believe in God? Following several decades of research on the topic, anthropologist and atheist Scott Atran is saying that humans seem to be hard-wired to believe. The New York Times article reports: He had received a doctorate in anthropology from Columbia University and, in the course of his fieldwork, saw evidence of religion everywhere he looked — at archaeological digs in Israel, among the Mayans in Guatemala, in artifact drawers at the American Museum of Natural History... Read more.
Copyright 2010 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. The Line and Boundless Line are trademarks of Focus on the Family.
Recent Comments