The Valentine's Anti-Celebration
by Candice Watters on 02/13/2007 at 4:00 AM
I used to hate Valentine's Day. I dreaded the official reminder that I was unattached. But I never thought to make money off my distaste. Guess I'm not cynical enough.
That's not the case with American Greetings. In a growing trend, this February 14th will find lots of people sending anti-Valentines -- ironic missives for those who'd "rather be big goofs than big flirts."
According to Matt Brick, who runs antiVday.com and SinglesAwareness.com, "It is not just single people who dislike the holiday. Many people who are married or in a relationship don't like the holiday either. The holiday creates a lot of pressure, both emotionally and financially."
His antivday site sells T-shirts and stickers that announce, "I Think, Therefore I am Single." Funny. Till you realize the guy selling this stuff is happily married.
Back when I called February 14 "Black Death Day," what I really wanted was not the end of the holiday, but a reason to enter into it. I didn't despise what people were celebrating. Just the fact that I felt left out.
Thankfully, I figured out there's a lot more to loving others than commercialized hearts, flowers and new romantic love. I wrote about it in The Secret to a Great Valentine's Day.
How do you plan to celebrate or not celebrate February 14th?
1. Eliana said the following at 5:04 AM on Feb 13:
I will have my friends over for dinner. We'll have a heart-shaped meatloaf, covered in tomato sauce, with a border of mashed potatoes, so it looks like a valentine. And I decorated my apartment for the holiday, with lots of heart doilies and red lights. Moreover, my dining table has a card with the story of St. Valentine on it.
Yes, St. Valentine's Day can be sad when you're single, but I'll make the best of it, and focus on celebrating God's love.
2. Elena said the following at 8:29 AM on Feb 13:
Back when I called February 14 "Black Death Day," what I really wanted was not the end of the holiday, but a reason to enter into it. I didn't despise what people were celebrating. Just the fact that I felt left out.
Candice, I'm with you on this -- it was my attitude in high school ... always wanting a carnation (they were sold to the students by the chorus, as a fundraiser, and delivered on Val's Day) from a secret admirer or boyfriend (neither of which I had) instead of from my gal pals.
But now ... I really enjoy the day, because it's what I make it. And I refuse to whine and complain or wear black (well, black pants and a pink or red top don't count!). My mom will be receiving a dozen yellow roses from me, and I bought another bouquet of mixed rose colors either for myself or to give to friends. And tonight I'll stick my coworkers valentines in their mail slots. I have more fun giving than receiving.
Even though I don't have an official boyfriend, I'm not going to be gloomy! And I refuse to let anyone else rain on my parade.
In fact, come join the fun, y'all! Get into the spirit! Make valentines, hang up decorations, get those cute Hallmark stuffed animals (or the bears at Starbucks) -- and find someone to bless with a little extra attention. I don't care if it is a commercially-driven day. Don't let that stop us! :o]
3. Rachel said the following at 8:46 AM on Feb 13:
I'll spend Valentine's day just as I spend any other day.... ... I go to class and then pretend to do my homework for the rest of the night.. ... ... Maybe my roommate and I will celebrate by watching a chick flick at the cinema...... Haha... ... ... Just as long as we don't get stuck sitting behind some mushy couple, it'll be a great day!
4. Bob said the following at 9:15 AM on Feb 13:
Many fail to realize that this "holiday" strikes a painful nerve in guys also. Every February 14th is just another day of being single. No plans tonight. I guess I'll just work on a project and hope that the day passes without me climbing to the roof and taking the big jump ... From 2 stories up, I'd probably only break a leg and land my self in the hospital's psych ward for the week. LOL! ... Have a Happy Singles-Awareness Day, ladies!
5. Canadian girl said the following at 10:10 AM on Feb 13:
I can't say I really understand anti-Valentine sentiments. In the past when I was single I found it an irrelevant day but perhaps that's because I enjoyed being single. Now, I find it irrelevant because I think it's unromantic to have a day set aside for romance. I'd rather be surprised with flowers, cards, small gifts, etc throughout the year. So I'll just be doing school and going to ladies' bible study as usual - and probably won't even be talking with my boyfriend as our Wednesday schedules usually don't allow it.
6. Cora said the following at 10:30 AM on Feb 13:
Bob, thanks for the laugh... a happy S.A.D.
7. Aaron said the following at 10:52 AM on Feb 13:
I have a hot date with a Real Analysis exam and then choir practice. But after that I’ll come home and commemorate by cooking something ... by myself ... and for myself.... But hey, the great thing about cooking for one is the leftovers.
8. Laura said the following at 1:00 PM on Feb 13:
My church's art gallery is opening a new show with a "LOVE" theme -- we have a lot of accomplished artists in our community, and we have an amazingly beautiful gallery space! I'm excited to spend a couple hours hanging out with my friends there, listening to great music and seeing the show all put together. Almost as good as a date!
OK, who am I kidding? A date would be way better, but for yet another single Valentine's day, it's going to be a good one.
9. USA girl said the following at 1:30 PM on Feb 13:
I'll celebrate Valentine's Day with my parents and sister! We'll fix a special supper and then spend time together reading the homemade cards and eating something sweet.
Even though I'm single in my 20s, Valentine's is my favorite holiday because my family makes it really special. I don't feel sad that I'm single because my parents have brought me up with Valentine's Day being God and family-centered and a time to bless others. I love making homemade Valentines for my family, friends, and those who need God's encouragement and love. It's just a fun holiday to bless others and to enjoy genuine love!
10. m.a. said the following at 1:36 PM on Feb 13:
my husband and i go out for all-you-can-eat wings and compete to see who can eat the most (current champion = me :D)
pretty awesome.
11. ColoradoGirl said the following at 1:55 PM on Feb 13:
I will bake homemade pizza with my sister so that our family can have a nice dinner together. And I will, of course, work on my schoolwork. I am single who doesn't date.
Valentine's day is a time to think about what real love is. I want to encourage my friends this month. During the week before the 14th, I send joy through the mail by making creative handmade cards to share about God's love and to tell people that I care about them.
12. Leah T. said the following at 2:45 PM on Feb 13:
I've never been a big fan of Valentines day. I'm just not a big fan of manufactured romance. I do, however, appreciate the chocolate covered strawberries that have become a family tradition..
13. Holly said the following at 2:50 PM on Feb 13:
I will be going with a group of friends to a retirement community in the evening to hand out "Thinking of You" cards and to chat with the residents. Sometimes we tend to forget that younger singles aren't the only ones who may not be celebrating this day. Happy V-Day!
14. Firinnteine said the following at 4:35 PM on Feb 13:
On February 14th I plan to celebrate the Feast of Saints Cyril and Methodius. :-D
15. BK said the following at 6:07 PM on Feb 13:
Last night I took the time to make homemade cards for the men in my life that have been really encouraging, really leading, really Christ-driven men in my life. I had fun making them including a little Bible verse at the bottom, and I woke up this morning to head to the post office early so that the letters would get there on time. No one gets snail mail anymore other than bills, and even fewer than that how much do we take the time to specifically say thanks to the gentlemen in our lives that have chosen to obey God and treat us like sisters, the daughters of Christ that we are?
I agree with some that have posted, take advantage of the holiday and maybe send the Valentine your friends weren't expecting this year!
1 Thessalonians 5:11
16. Ivette said the following at 7:33 PM on Feb 13:
It's a good thing the EMO scene waited until I was long out of high school to emerge. Had it not, my Valentine's Day pitty-fest might have dragged on 'til Easter, legitimized by one heck of a soundtrack and driving my family insane.
Luckily, by the time I reached college, my perspective beautifully changed as well and my best girlfriends and sometimes guy friends and I found special ways to celebrate love and friendship.
Though I am clearly aware that Valentine's Day has become grossly commercialized, (precious little isn't now days,) I can honestly say I have thoroughly enjoyed the holiday in spite of being "alone" year after year.
We shouldn't have to bottle up romance just because we are single! What is romance after all, but a little bit of thoughtfulness and creativity? In college we had picnics, got together with the corresponding guy group, got dolled up and went out on the town -- anything but mope. Last year my girlfriends and I made dinner together after work and gabbed and laughed for hours while Pride & Prejudice played in the background. These memories have made Valentine’s Day a favorite of mine.
However, in addition to making fun memories and expressing love, I also would highly encourage taking some time out to invest in future romance. I try to take at least a few minutes to write my future husband a letter, or write out a prayer for him. It encourages my faith to know that the Lord knows who he is and that the only reason we’re not together is because of the Lord’s perfect timing.
So fellow singles, Happy Valentines Day. I pray it’s sweet. May you create and savor Romance and recognize He who gives it. And tomorrow, go ahead and be a little silly if it helps…You’d be surprised how many co-workers enjoy getting pooh-bear Valentines!
17. Ame said the following at 2:25 AM on Feb 15:
I love Valentine's Day -- I'm just at a place where I dread all holidays. But my girls make days like these fun (and many prayers from many friends made the day peaceful ;). Before the alarm went off, both my young girls had curled up in bed with me (probably b/c they'd kicked their covers off and were freezing, so they come into my bed as little ice cubes in the wee hours of the morning to get warmed up ;)
The first words out of my 9 year old's sleepy mouth were, "Happy Valentine's Day, Mommy!" And the almost-last words out of my 7 year old's falling asleep mouth were, "Happy Valentine's Day, Mommy!"
I am SO blessed :)
18. Paul said the following at 1:55 AM on Feb 16:
I may be dragging on this thread after its natural expiry date, but since I only just got back from a trip I thought I'd share.
At the last high school I went to (an international school in Switzerland with mainly English-speaking students) the school organised a nice tradition. In the lead up to the day, students were able to write a message on a card; red for love, yellow for friendship and white for secret admirer. Putting the card in a collection box (and paying a fee) ensured a rose of the same colour was delivered, with the card attached, to the addressee on Valentines Day. (That I never received one was disappointing at the time, but understandable in hindsight.)
Last year, upon realising that all the young ladies in my small circle of friends at church were single (along with all the guys), I decided to arrange a similar thing. On behalf of the guys, I bought flowers and hand-made cards that we all signed, and arranged for some of the other guys who were participating to deliver.
With similar aplomb, and continued sneakiness (we even used the same code name, which the ladies either never figured out or had forgotten) I arranged a similar plot for this year. My personal involvement was slightly less, due to the fact that I thought of it a bit later in the year and was insanely busy with a business trip, church events and a camp the weekend before, but we still managed to pull together a nice gesture to remind the ladies that they are cherished and cared for.
Most importantly, I’ve learned a couple of things through the process. First is that humility takes work. You may wonder whether I’ve really learned this lesson, given that I’m broadcasting this to the world, but let me explain. In both cases, and in a case of God’s wisdom, I was unable to be present during the delivery phase. Had that not been the case, especially the first year when I’d done most of the work myself, I would have either expected greater kudos and thanks than the other guys and been bitter having not got it, or potentially created jealousy if I did get it. Fortunately, with separation of time and distance came the necessary reflection and isolation needed to cultivate the right attitude. And I think this second time around was even better, since it was a collective team effort in the end.
The other thing I learned was about the nature of love. Simply put, it hurts God to see His love returned unrequited. Having read this article and the comments, it made me a little sad that the ladies hadn’t thought of something similar to do in response this year. Even though it is less predominant for ladies to initiate communication (especially of the non-romantic variety) with guys under the banner of Valentine’s Day in Australia (where I now live) as opposed to the U.S., it still would have been nice and much appreciated. I’ve felt Bob’s type (but not the level) of pain over the day for as long as I can remember, hopeless romantic that I am. How much more must God hurt when we don't acknowledge and return His love?
As such, I would highly exhort BK and others like her to continue acknowledging the men in their lives with appropriate expressions of thanks, and for others to follow the example in creative and unique ways. (This doesn’t just have to be a Valentine’s–Day–only thing, either.)
Hope you all were able to enjoy Valentine’s Day in one way or another, and don’t forget to thank the Maker of romantic love for this, one of His wonderful gifts to us.
Paul