Grief and Myspace
by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 01/24/2007 at 3:07 PM
This week, I read in my local newspaper that 21-year-old Pfc. Allen B. "Fuzzy" Jaynes, a member of Fort Carson's 2nd Brigade, had been killed in combat in Iraq. I didn't know Jaynes, but what stood out to me was how the article's details were primarily gathered from MySpace.
Jaynes' MySpace page shows pictures of a young man "chillin by da pool" and standing alongside "my lil sis, my lil bro, & my mom" for a family photo, his arm slung around his sister's shoulder.
On her own MySpace page, [his sister] Stephanie shared the devastating news in an entry dated Sunday. "Officers showed up at my door this morning," Stephanie wrote. "Allen was killed in combat yesterday. His body won't be back home for another 10 days."
Jaynes' girlfriend, Ashley Raiford, also wrote about her grief online.
An article published today in the Los Angeles Times says MySpace "is becoming a place for a generation to chronicle its grief." Young people killed in accidents, by drug overdoses or suicide, now leave behind a kind of memorial in their MySpace page.
The grieving on MySpace is unplanned — the dead person's page is a frozen moment, showing when they last logged on, their favorite books and movies, whether they were in a relationship, and photos of their best friends. After their death, their friends post messages to the departed that are akin to text messages between high school pals, stream-of-consciousness blurbs filled with slang, misspellings and abbreviations. The messages are sorrowful and sweet, angry and funny, routine and heartbreaking. They include reminiscences, pleas to watch over them, and updates on events the dead friend has missed.
I have viewed several pages of deceased teens on MySpace, and the experience is very weird. Their pages serve as a startling reminders of the fleeting nature of life. Even more impacting are the comments of fellow teens. Much can be learned about the younger generation by watching how they grieve. A young soldier — one of hundreds who have served our country and died — becomes a person.
1. Erin said the following at 7:23 PM on Jan 24:
This is indeed an intriguing phenomenon I noticed a few weeks ago. I'm in a college town, and recently two students were brutally murdered, leaving people stunned. I have read several newspaper and online accounts of the two students, and more than one source has quoted one of the student's MySpace page in much the same way as the piece excerpted here. I also have seen several pages created as virtual memorials, which to me demonstrates yet another way that online media add new dimensions to traditional cultural practices.
2. anonymous said the following at 11:25 PM on Jan 24:
I have a friend whose brother was killed in a car accident. The sibling had a xanga site, and it still exists - just as you said, a memorial frozen in time of when he last logged in.
3. Sarah said the following at 11:42 AM on Jan 25:
This reminds me of one of my friends from church who posted a tribute to his thirteen year old cousin, James Mitchell, who passed away. He stated very beautifully:
"He prayed, read his Bible, and memorized Scripture passionately. He truly loved God, a rare occurrence for someone so young. And God gave him a mindset that allowed him to live every minute with joy and enthusiasm. He knew that when his eyes closed forever, no amount of money, or fame, or degrees made a difference. It is a mistake for us to say that he never had a full life. He lived his thirteen short years with more vim and vigor than many who live six times as long... By the worlds standard, he had nothing. But by the standard that matters, he had the world." (S. Karram)
4. Suzanne said the following at 2:54 PM on Jan 25:
Sarah,
That statement is so beautiful. It sounds like James understood these words from Scripture.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." —Hebrews 11:1
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead." —1 Peter 1:3
5. Ashley Raiford said the following at 1:46 AM on Nov 12:
For some odd reason I wanted to google myself....
and I found this...
even though this is mainly talking about myspace...
it's kind of crazy that i got mentioned.
I am the Ashley Raiford in your post...
and yes...I posted lots of sad things on myspace...
somehow i couldn't say those things enough..and on top of writing in a journal where only i could read it..
i decided to make sure the world [even if it is just myspace] would know how i felt.
www.myspace.com/get_rank is my old myspace. I've since deleted all my cute little icons and what nots and the myspace is sort of turning into a memorial for me. I had to get a new page...so that's what I decided to do to that one.
I don't know if you'll ever read this to be perfectly honest....