Gary Thomas on Marriage by Motte Brown on 12/01/2006 at 11:11 AM

Gary Thomas, the author of Sacred Marriage, weighs in on the holiness vs. happiness discussion from Denise's post Is Our Idea of Marriage Unrealistic?.

I don't normally participate in blogs, but this one came to my attention since so much mention was made of my book. Let me just say that Denise captured (and even defended!) my thoughts very well. These are wonderful issues for you all to be dealing with before you get married.

I don't believe, as Denise already pointed out, that marriage and happiness are mutually exclusive. But I do believe happiness ultimately comes from a life oriented toward pursuing holiness: "Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added as well." (Matt. 6:33) If I had 100 lives to live, I'd want to be married in every one of them -- and that's after having been married to the same woman for 22 years. But I also have to say that marriage is about the most challenging aspect of life you'll ever experience, and I don't know anyone who has been married for any length of time who really disagrees with that. I just want people to be spiritually prepared so that they can appreciate not just the fun of marriage, but the soul-scouring parts as well. That gives them a reason to hang in there when things get tough (as they will).

Gary Thomas on Marriage by Motte Brown on 12/01/2006 at 11:11 AM

Gary Thomas, the author of Sacred Marriage, weighs in on the holiness vs. happiness discussion from Denise's post Is Our Idea of Marriage Unrealistic?.

I don't normally participate in blogs, but this one came to my attention since so much mention was made of my book. Let me just say that Denise captured (and even defended!) my thoughts very well. These are wonderful issues for you all to be dealing with before you get married.

I don't believe, as Denise already pointed out, that marriage and happiness are mutually exclusive. But I do believe happiness ultimately comes from a life oriented toward pursuing holiness: "Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added as well." (Matt. 6:33) If I had 100 lives to live, I'd want to be married in every one of them -- and that's after having been married to the same woman for 22 years. But I also have to say that marriage is about the most challenging aspect of life you'll ever experience, and I don't know anyone who has been married for any length of time who really disagrees with that. I just want people to be spiritually prepared so that they can appreciate not just the fun of marriage, but the soul-scouring parts as well. That gives them a reason to hang in there when things get tough (as they will).