Missing the Bus by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 10/04/2006 at 3:30 PM

In this week's Boundless Answers, "Affairs of the Emotions," Candice tackled the sticky question of "How close is too close when it comes to non-marital male/female relationships?" It also linked to an article I wrote early this year called "Not Your Buddy." The article dwelt on men who linger in close friendships with women they're not planning to marry.

I received several e-mails regarding the article this week, but I found one response particularly enlightening. David writes:

What I see is women taking the steps, putting themselves in a situation to succeed, but still failing because they have no idea what to really do. Like waiting at the bus stop for a bus — but not being told which one to get on. All you have is your feelings and personal preference or the advice of others to make your decision. The huge problem I see is they are taking the right steps physically, but their hearts are not aligned with God's as far as the purpose and role of a man/woman relationship.

I get frustrated when people just blame the guys, because the girls never see that it is the wrong attitude of their hearts that put them in these unfruitful relationships in the first place. If you are striving for the real thing, you should be able to spot the counterfeit activity right away. I hear the women in my life complaining about why they are still single and blaming God, and I feel like they are still single because they would not be a blessing to a man at this point.

I found David's response convicting and challenging. I have been guilty of blaming guys for chronic singleness. But perhaps women need a reality check when it comes to relationships. Are we open to the relationships God may be leading us into? Or have we formed our own agenda? Most importantly, are we submitting to Christ daily in every area of our lives that we might be a blessing to a godly man? If not, that bus may never arrive.

Missing the Bus by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 10/04/2006 at 3:30 PM

In this week's Boundless Answers, "Affairs of the Emotions," Candice tackled the sticky question of "How close is too close when it comes to non-marital male/female relationships?" It also linked to an article I wrote early this year called "Not Your Buddy." The article dwelt on men who linger in close friendships with women they're not planning to marry.

I received several e-mails regarding the article this week, but I found one response particularly enlightening. David writes:

What I see is women taking the steps, putting themselves in a situation to succeed, but still failing because they have no idea what to really do. Like waiting at the bus stop for a bus — but not being told which one to get on. All you have is your feelings and personal preference or the advice of others to make your decision. The huge problem I see is they are taking the right steps physically, but their hearts are not aligned with God's as far as the purpose and role of a man/woman relationship.

I get frustrated when people just blame the guys, because the girls never see that it is the wrong attitude of their hearts that put them in these unfruitful relationships in the first place. If you are striving for the real thing, you should be able to spot the counterfeit activity right away. I hear the women in my life complaining about why they are still single and blaming God, and I feel like they are still single because they would not be a blessing to a man at this point.

I found David's response convicting and challenging. I have been guilty of blaming guys for chronic singleness. But perhaps women need a reality check when it comes to relationships. Are we open to the relationships God may be leading us into? Or have we formed our own agenda? Most importantly, are we submitting to Christ daily in every area of our lives that we might be a blessing to a godly man? If not, that bus may never arrive.