Embracing the Setup by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 10/20/2006 at 9:41 AM

My friends and I used to scorn the idea of being "set up." For one thing, such matchmaking implied that we needed help — that we were incapable of attracting a potential mate without charity. Second, such experiences were often forced and awkward.

In her article "Plenty of Men to Go Around, Pt. 2," Candice points out the benefit of enlisting the help of godly mentors and friends in the marriage-seeking process.

In Titus 2, Paul instructs the older women to teach the younger women how to live godly lives. Specifically "to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." It only makes sense that if the young women are having trouble finding husbands in the first place, that the older have a vital role to play in helping them marry well.

In recent years I've become more receptive to being set up — especially by those who know me well. In college, I saw my brother and best friend as a potential match and made sure they spent time together. Now married, they still thank me for that.

Responding to Candice's article, Carolyn McCulley offers this advice:

We singles also need to be patient and gracious with the introductions we do receive. Chances are, there will be some that will leave us scratching our heads and wondering what in the world anyone was thinking. That bumpiness comes with the territory, but let's be grateful that anyone would make the effort on our behalf.

If you desire marriage but feel this kind of help is beneath you, it may be time to check your pride.

Embracing the Setup by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 10/20/2006 at 9:41 AM

My friends and I used to scorn the idea of being "set up." For one thing, such matchmaking implied that we needed help — that we were incapable of attracting a potential mate without charity. Second, such experiences were often forced and awkward.

In her article "Plenty of Men to Go Around, Pt. 2," Candice points out the benefit of enlisting the help of godly mentors and friends in the marriage-seeking process.

In Titus 2, Paul instructs the older women to teach the younger women how to live godly lives. Specifically "to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." It only makes sense that if the young women are having trouble finding husbands in the first place, that the older have a vital role to play in helping them marry well.

In recent years I've become more receptive to being set up — especially by those who know me well. In college, I saw my brother and best friend as a potential match and made sure they spent time together. Now married, they still thank me for that.

Responding to Candice's article, Carolyn McCulley offers this advice:

We singles also need to be patient and gracious with the introductions we do receive. Chances are, there will be some that will leave us scratching our heads and wondering what in the world anyone was thinking. That bumpiness comes with the territory, but let's be grateful that anyone would make the effort on our behalf.

If you desire marriage but feel this kind of help is beneath you, it may be time to check your pride.